CHAPTER ONE
第一章

WINTER
冬

“You are staring at him again”, Crystal nudges my arm trying to pull me out of the daze I’ve been in for the past one hour.
“你又盯着他看了”，Crystal轻推我的手臂，试图把我从过去一个小时的发呆中拉出来。

The warmth of the sun coupled by the intense heat today isn’t the only thing making my cheeks red. The men in our pack are training right in front of us which is as per the custom of our pack. My eyes, however, have been stuck on one man. 
温暖的阳光加上今天的酷热并不是让我脸颊发红的唯一原因。我们团队中的男人就在我们面前训练，这是按照我们团队的习俗。然而，我的眼睛一直盯着一个人。

I’m drawn like a moth to a flame at how his broad shoulders and biceps strain against his dark shirt.
我像飞蛾扑火一样被他宽阔的肩膀和二头肌如何与他的深色衬衫相抗衡而被吸引。
我像飞蛾扑火一样被他宽阔的肩膀和二头肌如何与他的深色衬衫相抗衡而被吸引。

How his jet-black hair falls on his forehead messily. How his jaw, the one that looks like it was sculpted by the Goddess herself, is locked and loaded as he focuses on the opponent he’s sparring against.
他乌黑的头发是如何凌乱地落在额头上的。他的下巴，看起来像是女神自己雕刻的下巴，当他专注于他正在对战的对手时，它是如何被锁定和加载的。

Another blush creeps up my neck and Crystal chuckles.
我的脖子上又泛起了红晕，Crystal咯咯地笑了起来。

Deacon Cross is the only man I see. The only man I breathe since I learnt what love is and sadly, my brother’s hot best friend who sees me like his little sister.
克洛斯执事是我看到的唯一一个男人。自从我学会了什么是爱以来，我唯一呼吸的男人，可悲的是，我哥哥最好的朋友，他把我看作他的妹妹。

“I can’t help it, Crys. He’s so handsome”, I sigh dreamily.
“我忍不住了，哭泣。他太帅了”，我梦幻般地叹了口气。

“But he’s also older than you by a lot. Jake would kill you if he knew you were crushing on his best friend.”
“但他也比你年长很多。如果杰克知道你暗恋他最好的朋友，他会杀了你。

Deacon isn’t older than me by a lot. Not if you count seven years as a lot and while my brother is sometimes protective of me, I don’t think anything or anyone would separate me and Deacon if we were to somehow end up as destined mates.
Deacon 并不比我大很多。如果你把七年算作很多，那就不是了，虽然我哥哥有时会保护我，但我认为如果我们以某种方式成为命中注定的伴侣，任何事情或任何人都不会将我和 Deacon 分开。

“It’s not just a hopeless crush, Crystal. How do I explain it? I think we are meant for each other.”
“这不仅仅是一次无可救药的暗恋，Crystal。我该怎么解释呢？我觉得我们是命中注定的。

I can feel it in my bones.
我能从骨子里感觉到它。

I want to believe that the Goddess has been listening to my prayers too.
我愿意相信女神也一直在倾听我的祈祷。

“You mean like what? Mates? Winter, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but Deacon is the Alpha’s son. That title comes with power. His Luna is going to be as powerful as he is.”
“你是说什么？ 伴侣？ 冬天，很抱歉打破了你的泡沫，但 Deacon 是 Alpha 的儿子。那个头衔伴随着力量。他的 Luna 会和他一样强大。
“你是说什么？ 伴侣？ 冬天，很抱歉打破了你的泡沫，但 Deacon 是 Alpha 的儿子。那个头衔伴随着力量。他的 Luna 会和他一样强大。

I’m about to tell Crystal I’ll be powerful in future too but my words die down the minute my brother locks eyes with me.
我正要告诉 Crystal，我将来也会很强大，但我的话在我哥哥与我四目相接的那一刻就消失了。

His opponent, who happens to be Deacon, follows my brother’s line of sight and dark-brown eyes fall on me taking all the breath from my lungs.
他的对手，恰好是迪肯，跟着我哥哥的视线，深棕色的眼睛落在我身上，吸走了我肺里所有的呼吸。
他的对手，恰好是迪肯，跟着我哥哥的视线，深棕色的眼睛落在我身上，吸走了我肺里所有的呼吸。

Deacon is looking at me.
迪肯看着我。

Goddess, the intensity of his stare makes my legs weak.
女神，他强烈的凝视让我的双腿发软。

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I don’t see my furious brother headed toward me in long and brisk strides.
也许这就是我没有看到我愤怒的弟弟大步向我走来的原因之一。
也许这就是我没有看到我愤怒的弟弟大步向我走来的原因之一。

“Winter”, Jacob’s voice pulls me out of my trance. Running his hand in his hair like I exhaust him, he asks, “What are you doing here?”
“冬天”，雅各布的声音把我从恍惚中拉了出来。他用手抚摸着他的头发，就像我让他筋疲力尽一样，他问道，“你在这里做什么？
“冬天”，雅各布的声音把我从恍惚中拉了出来。他用手抚摸着他的头发，就像我让他筋疲力尽一样，他问道，“你在这里做什么？

“I-I wanted to see how your training is going.”
“我——我想看看你的训练进展如何。”

I’ve always been a terrible liar and my brother knows it.
我一直都是个可怕的骗子，我哥哥知道这一点。

“You and Crystal are not supposed to be anywhere near the training grounds. Do mom and dad know you are here?” 
“你和Crystal不应该在训练场附近的任何地方。爸爸妈妈知道你在这儿吗？

I hate it when he uses that tone. Like I’m a child.
我讨厌他用那种语气。就像我还是个孩子一样。

“I’m eighteen, Jake. Not a kid and I think I have all the rights to go anywhere I want.”
“我十八岁了，杰克。不是个孩子，我认为我有权利去任何我想去的地方。

Crystal pulls me by my shoulders, shooting a nervous chuckle to my brother.
Crystal拉着我的肩膀，对我哥哥发出紧张的笑声。

“We were just leaving.”
“我们就要走了。”

I cast another glance at Deacon who has already moved on from staring at me and is now sparring with another guy I recognize as a beta.
我又看了一眼Deacon，他已经从盯着我看的动作中走了出来，现在正在和另一个我认来是beta的家伙对打。

“You can’t be serious, Winter”, Jake scoffs.
“你不能当真，Winter”，Jake嘲笑道。

I turn my gaze to him, confused,“What?”
我把目光转向他，困惑地说：“什么？

“You are still infatuated with Deacon? And you say you are not a kid?”
“你还迷恋着迪肯？你说你不是个孩子吗？

“What if I am? Infatuated with Deacon I mean?” 
“如果我是呢？我是说迷恋Deacon吗？

I’m more than infatuated. I’ve been in love with him since I saw him.
我不仅仅是迷恋。自从我见到他以来，我就爱上了他。

“Go home. Right now, Winter.”
“回家吧。现在，Winter。

“I like Deacon, Jake. We could be-“
“我喜欢Deacon，Jake。我们可以——”

“Could be what? Goddess, Winter! You are eighteen, no wolf, no sense of direction; he’s the Alpha’s son. He’ll lead the pack one day and you think you’ll be by his side when he does that? You are young for him. You are too weak for him and this crush you’ve got for Deacon will end in one way. You hurt. I’m only trying to protect you, Win.”
“可能是什么？女神，冬天！你十八岁了，不是狼，没有方向感;他是Alpha的儿子。他总有一天会带头，你觉得当他这样做时你会在他身边吗？你对他来说还年轻。你对他来说太弱了，你对Deacon的迷恋会以一种方式结束。你受伤了。我只是想保护你，Win。

He means well. I know he does. But that doesn’t stop the tears that spring my eyes and burn the back of my throat with malice.
他的用心是好的。我知道他是的。但这并不能阻止我眼中涌出的泪水，用恶意灼伤我的喉咙后部。
他的用心是好的。我知道他是的。但这并不能阻止我眼中涌出的泪水，用恶意灼伤我的喉咙后部。

“Maybe I don’t need protection. Maybe I’m sick of you, dad and mom coddling me like I don’t know what I want.”
“也许我不需要保护。也许我厌倦了你，爸爸和妈妈溺爱我，就像我不知道自己想要什么一样。

I sound like a petulant child.
我听起来像个任性的孩子。

“Go home. We’ll talk about this when I get home.”
“回家吧。我回家后再谈这件事。

It’s Jake’s final word or nothing.
这是 Jake 的最后决定，否则什么都没有。

I blink away tears, turn around and leave with my best friend in tow.
我眨了眨眼泪，转身带着我最好的朋友离开了。

A few minutes later Crystal is looking at me with piteous eyes and I hate it.
几分钟后，Crystal 用可怜的眼神看着我，我讨厌它。

“Winter I- “
“冬天我——”

“I’m going to take a short walk. Thanks for today.”
“我要走一小段路。谢谢今天。

The short walk turns into a run. The tears I had held back from Jake come flowing down my cheeks like water from a broken dam. I swipe away the leaves from the trees blocking my way while every sound my feet makes with the dry earth echoes in the silent woods.
短途的步行变成了跑步。我忍住了Jake的泪水从我的脸颊上流下来，就像决堤的水一样。我擦掉挡住我去路的树叶，而我的脚在干燥的土地上发出的每一个声音都在寂静的树林中回荡。
短途的步行变成了跑步。我忍住了Jake的泪水从我的脸颊上流下来，就像决堤的水一样。我擦掉挡住我去路的树叶，而我的脚在干燥的土地上发出的每一个声音都在寂静的树林中回荡。

I don't know how long I’ve been running but everything comes to a standstill when pain shoots from the base of my spine climbing up my limbs and paralyzing my entire body. I try to breathe but that only makes the burn in my lungs turn fiercer and more painful.
我不知道我跑了多久，但当疼痛从我的脊椎底部射出，爬上我的四肢，使我的整个身体瘫痪时，一切都停了下来。我试着呼吸，但这只会让我肺部的灼热变得更猛烈、更痛苦。
我不知道我跑了多久，但当疼痛从我的脊椎底部射出，爬上我的四肢，使我的整个身体瘫痪时，一切都停了下来。我试着呼吸，但这只会让我肺部的灼热变得更猛烈、更痛苦。

The pounding in my chest brings me to my knees as the word ‘help’ rests on my tongue trying to fight its way out of my lips. Every thought in my mind jumps into the possibility that I might be dying. That would explain the complete loss of strength inside me and the pain that gnaws my body like the fury of the Goddess herself. 
胸口的砰砰直跳使我跪了下来，“帮助”这个词停在我的舌头上，试图从我的嘴唇中挤出来。我脑海中的每一个想法都跳入了我可能快死了的可能性。这可以解释我内心完全失去力量，以及像女神本人的愤怒一样啃咬我身体的痛苦。

‘Winter.’ A voice in my head calls out. A voice that sounds like me but doesn’t feel like me at the same time.
“冬天。”我脑海中有一个声音在呼唤。一个听起来像我，但同时又不像我的声音。

‘Let me in.’
“让我进来。”

The voice continues and the realization of what is happening nearly knocks the remaining air from my throbbing lungs. The voice, is it my wolf?
声音还在继续，意识到发生了什么，几乎把我悸动的肺里剩下的空气打断了。那个声音，是我的狼吗？

Jake said it would hurt the first time I felt my wolf but I didn’t imagine it would hurt this much. He also said I would hear her talk to me when the time was right but the feeling of listening to my wolf doesn’t compare to anything I’ve experienced in my entire life.
杰克说我第一次感觉到我的狼会很痛，但我没想到会这么痛。他还说我会在适当的时候听到她和我说话，但听我的狼说话的感觉比不上我一生中经历过的任何事情。
杰克说我第一次感觉到我的狼会很痛，但我没想到会这么痛。他还说我会在适当的时候听到她和我说话，但听我的狼说话的感觉比不上我一生中经历过的任何事情。

My hands slap the ground and with pain shooting through every muscle in my body, I look at the skies letting my wolf in.
我的手拍打着地面，疼痛传遍了我身体的每一块肌肉，我看着天空，让我的狼进来。

The pain surges up my limbs, wrapping around my bones as I change. Fur, the same shade as my hair sprouts from my arms and legs and in no time my paws are sinking into the chilled grass.
疼痛涌上我的四肢，随着我的变化缠绕着我的骨头。皮毛，与我的头发一样的色调从我的手臂和腿上发芽，很快我的爪子就陷入了冰冷的草地中。

I breathe in like I’m tasting how air feels like for the first time and everything feels different. Every sound from the woods crashes into my ears and the surge to run while in my wolf forms overwhelms me.
我吸气，就像我第一次品尝到空气的感觉一样，一切都感觉不同了。树林里的每一个声音都撞进了我的耳朵，当我的狼形时，奔跑的涌动让我不知所措。
我吸气，就像我第一次品尝到空气的感觉一样，一切都感觉不同了。树林里的每一个声音都撞进了我的耳朵，当我的狼形时，奔跑的涌动让我不知所措。

I run till I can barely hear the sound of my wolf howling. When the adrenaline rush wears off and my wolf decides that’s enough for the night, I shift back to my human form and the pain is nowhere as crippling as before. 
我跑到几乎听不见我的狼嚎声。当肾上腺素的激增消退，我的狼决定这已经足够过夜时，我变回了我的人形，疼痛不再像以前那样严重。

My hands tremble against the grass and the smile on my face wobbles as I try to keep up with what has just happened.
我的手在草地上颤抖，脸上的笑容在我试图跟上刚刚发生的事情时摇晃不定。
我的手在草地上颤抖，脸上的笑容在我试图跟上刚刚发生的事情时摇晃不定。

I’ve barely gathered enough strength to stand up when Deacon’s voice hits me out of nowhere.
我还没积攒足够的力气站起来，这时 Deacon 的声音突然打在我耳中。
我还没积攒足够的力气站起来，这时 Deacon 的声音突然打在我耳中。

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

His voice is deep and gritty, thick and dark like rich melted chocolate. 
他的声音低沉而坚韧，像浓郁的融化巧克力一样浑厚而黑暗。

I raise my head, my eyes meeting his dark onyx ones.
我抬起头，我的眼睛与他那双深色的缟玛瑙相遇。
我抬起头，我的眼睛与他那双深色的缟玛瑙相遇。

He’s real? And even more than real, a gasp wrenches out of me when he takes off his shirt, kneels in front of me and puts it on my shoulders urging me to wear it. I didn’t even think about the fact that my clothes might have ripped away the minute I shifted into my wolf.
他是真的吗？更令人难以置信的是，当他脱下衬衫，跪在我面前，把它放在我的肩膀上催促我穿上它时，我倒抽了一口气。我什至没有想过，在我换上狼的那一刻，我的衣服可能已经被撕掉了。

“You just got your wolf. It might take a second for you to adjust.”
“你刚刚抓到你的狼。你可能需要一秒钟来适应。

How is he here?
他怎么在这里？

“Okay.”
“好的。”

“Anything hurt?”
“有什么伤吗？”

“No. Yes? Maybe…a little. Everything…smells different. You smell different.”
“没有。 是的？ 或。。。 一点儿。 万事。。。 闻起来不一样。你闻起来不一样。

He smells familiar.
他闻起来很熟悉。
他闻起来很熟悉。

“Come on. I’ll take you home. Jake must be worried to death.”
“来吧。我带你回家。杰克一定是担心得要死。

“You...you followed me?”
“你......你跟着我了？

A small smile tugs his lips and it makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter crazily.
他的嘴唇上露出一丝微笑，这让我肚子里的蝴蝶疯狂地翩翩起舞。

“You looked upset. Jake would have wanted me to make sure you are alright. Come on, I’ll help you up.”
“你看起来很不高兴。Jake会希望我确保你没事的。来吧，我来帮你起来。

My heart breaks a little. He followed me to make sure his best friend’s little sister didn’t get into trouble.
我的心有点碎。他跟着我，确保他最好朋友的妹妹没有惹上麻烦。

I’m naked with only his shirt acting as some sort of cover and not once has it affected him. Meanwhile my eyes can’t stop raking every muscle on his naked chest.
我赤身裸体，只有他的衬衫充当某种掩护，而且一次也没有影响到他。与此同时，我的眼睛不停地耙着他裸露的胸前的每一块肌肉。

I take Deacon’s hand begrudgingly.
我不情愿地握住了迪肯的手。

A touch of the skin on his calloused hand sends electrifying frissons all across my body. My heart thumps, I can almost feel the sensations roaring in my veins and the feeling itself is akin to having found something that I’ve been missing my entire life. Almost as if my entire life, I’ve been living without knowing how complete a person should be.
他布满老茧的手上的皮肤一触即发，我全身都感到震惊。我的心砰砰直跳，我几乎能感觉到血管中咆哮的感觉，这种感觉本身就好像找到了我一生都错过的东西。几乎就像我的一生，我一直在不知道一个人应该有多完整。
他布满老茧的手上的皮肤一触即发，我全身都感到震惊。我的心砰砰直跳，我几乎能感觉到血管中咆哮的感觉，这种感觉本身就好像找到了我一生都错过的东西。几乎就像我的一生，我一直在不知道一个人应该有多完整。

“Winter”, Deacon’s blazing eyes, dig into mine and I take a step away, this unsettling and new found feeling slipping deep inside me till my wolf can feel it.
“冬天”，炽热的眼睛深深地盯着我，我走开了一步，这种令人不安的新发现的感觉在我内心深处滑落，直到我的狼能感觉到它。

‘Mate’, my wolf growls with such heated desire that confirms what I felt a few minutes ago wasn’t a figment of my imagination. 
“伙计”，我的狼咆哮着，欲望如此强烈，这证实了我几分钟前的感觉并不是我的想象。

“We are fated”, I whisper and the words together with the realization only heighten the desire growing inside me like an unwanted weed.
“我们命中注定”，我低声说，这些话和领悟只会加剧我内心生长的欲望，就像一棵不需要的杂草。
“我们命中注定”，我低声说，这些话和领悟只会加剧我内心生长的欲望，就像一棵不需要的杂草。

“It’s getting late”, Deacon tries to divert my words but the look on his face tells it all.
“天色已晚”，Deacon 试图转移我的话，但他脸上的表情说明了一切。

He feels this pull between our bodies almost as much as I do. He feels the magnetic pull my heart has on his, like they are soulmates calling each other for comfort.
他几乎和我一样感受到我们身体之间的这种拉扯。他感觉到我的心对他的磁性拉扯，就像他们是灵魂伴侣，互相呼唤着寻求安慰。

In our pack, once every member turns eighteen and gets his wolf, they are able to tell who their mates are whether or not their partners know it as well. Does that mean Deacon knew I was his mate when he got his wolf too?
在我们的狼群中，一旦每个成员年满 18 岁并得到他的狼，他们就能够分辨出他们的伴侣是谁，无论他们的伙伴是否也知道。这是否意味着 Deacon 在得到他的狼时也知道我是他的伴侣？

Why did he not tell me? Because I was still young? Because he was afraid of telling his best friend’s little sister they were mated?
他为什么不告诉我？因为我还年轻？因为他害怕告诉他最好朋友的妹妹他们已经交配了？

‘We are mates.’
“我们是伙伴。”

My wolf repeats, this time more determined to make sure I hear her.
我的狼重复了一遍，这一次更加坚定地确保我听到了她的声音。

“You are my mate and I am yours. We are destined to be together”, I try to insist even though the look on Deacon’s face tells me he’s not going to give in to the bond that’s getting stronger and stronger every minute we stand like this. 
“你是我的伴侣，我是你的。我们注定要在一起”，我试图坚持，即使 Deacon 脸上的表情告诉我，他不会屈服于我们这样每站一分钟就越来越牢固的纽带。

“You are still recovering from shifting. You are confused, Winter and I need to take you home.”
“你还在从轮班中恢复过来。你很困惑，Winter，我需要带你回家。
“你还在从轮班中恢复过来。你很困惑，Winter，我需要带你回家。

“Stop…stop lying to me. My wolf and I feel it which means you feel it too. Did you know? How long have you known?” 
“住手......别再骗我了。我和我的狼都感觉到了，这意味着你也感觉到了。你知道吗？你知道多久了？

I’m met with silence.
我遭遇了沉默。

The critters of the night chirp away, a distant howl flogs the air and the man I’ve loved since forever stands before me, no, he looks at me and he lies to me even more.
黑夜的小动物叽叽喳喳地走开，远处的嚎叫鞭打着空气，我永远爱着的男人站在我面前，不，他看着我，他对我撒谎得更厉害了。
黑夜的小动物叽叽喳喳地走开，远处的嚎叫鞭打着空气，我永远爱着的男人站在我面前，不，他看着我，他对我撒谎得更厉害了。

“We are not mates, Winter.”
“我们不是伙伴，温特。”

The denial in his voice cuts me but the happiness booming in my chest rivals his words.
他声音中的否认让我感到伤心，但我胸中涌动的幸福与他的话语相媲美。
他声音中的否认让我感到伤心，但我胸中涌动的幸福与他的话语相媲美。

I can feel my wolf getting angry and scared at the same time.
我能感觉到我的狼同时生气和害怕。

“Did you not tell me because of Jake? Because if that’s the case you shouldn’t be worried about him. I love you, Deacon. I have loved you since the day we first met. I’ve always felt a connection with you even before I got my wolf-“
“你不是因为Jake才告诉我的吗？因为如果是这样的话，你就不应该担心他。我爱你，执事。从我们第一次见面的那天起，我就爱你了。甚至在我得到我的狼之前，我就一直觉得和你有联系——”

Deacon takes a step back as if he’s repulsed by the thought of us being mates. The action itself makes my heart almost crack into two halves.
狄肯后退了一步，仿佛他对我们是伙伴的想法感到厌恶。这个动作本身就让我的心几乎裂成两半。

“You are young, Winter. Young people fall out of love all the time.”
“你还年轻，冬天。年轻人总是会失恋。

How dare he put my age as an excuse not to yield to our bond?
他怎么敢把我的年龄当作不屈服于我们关系的借口呢？
他怎么敢把我的年龄当作不屈服于我们关系的借口呢？

“You think I’ll fall out of love with you? Especially now that I know we are mates?”
“你觉得我会爱上你吗？尤其是现在我知道我们是朋友了？

“I think you are the same little girl who’s been following me hoping I’ll give her a little attention and right now, she can’t seem to understand that we are not what she wants us to be.”
“我觉得你就是那个一直跟着我，希望我能给她一点关注的小女孩，现在，她似乎无法理解我们不是她希望我们成为的样子。”

Everything inside me rages to turn around, find a way out of here and never think of Deacon again. If this is the man I fell in love with then I would rather fall out of love. The other part of me that is controlled by my wolf, begs me to stay and convince this man I'm his rightful mate.
我内心的一切都愤怒地转过身来，找到离开这里的路，再也不想起迪肯。如果这是我爱上的男人，那我宁愿失恋。我被我的狼控制的另一部分，恳求我留下来，让这个男人相信我是他合法的伴侣。
我内心的一切都愤怒地转过身来，找到离开这里的路，再也不想起迪肯。如果这是我爱上的男人，那我宁愿失恋。我被我的狼控制的另一部分，恳求我留下来，让这个男人相信我是他合法的伴侣。

I can hear my wolf beg me not to leave, not to let Deacon’s words hurt us even though all his words have done is break us.
我能听到我的狼求我不要离开，不要让迪肯的话伤害我们，即使他的话所做的一切都让我们崩溃了。

I breach the space I had put between us, standing in front of him so our eyes can meet and he has no choice but to see me and to listen to me.
我打破了我为我们设置的空间，站在他面前，这样我们的眼睛就可以相遇，他别无选择，只能看到我，听我说话。

“Then look me in the eye and reject me, Deacon. If you think I'm still a little girl you don’t want as your mate, reject me and my wolf so we can move on to a guy who’ll actually care about our bond.” 
“然后看着我的眼睛，拒绝我，执事。如果你觉得我还是个你不想成为你伴侣的小女孩，那就拒绝我和我的狼，这样我们就可以换一个真正关心我们关系的男人了。

‘Don’t reject us.’
“不要拒绝我们。”
“不要拒绝我们。”

My wolf howls inside of me like it’s her biggest fear. I’m on the same boat too because if our mate rejects us, I don’t think we could ever recover.
我的狼在我心里嚎叫，就像这是她最大的恐惧一样。我也在同一条船上，因为如果我们的伴侣拒绝我们，我认为我们永远无法恢复。
我的狼在我心里嚎叫，就像这是她最大的恐惧一样。我也在同一条船上，因为如果我们的伴侣拒绝我们，我认为我们永远无法恢复。

Deacon holds my chin and it trembles the minute we lock eyes.
Deacon 扶着我的下巴，当我们四目相接的那一刻，它就颤抖了起来。
Deacon 扶着我的下巴，当我们四目相接的那一刻，它就颤抖了起来。

Hot betraying tears stream down my cheeks as I await his answer and in the anticipation of it all, I can hear my wolf calling to him the way a siren lures men to their deaths. I can feel her vulnerability in my tears too.
当我等待他的回答时，炙热的背叛泪水顺着我的脸颊流下，在对这一切的期待中，我能听到我的狼在呼唤他，就像塞壬引诱男人走向死亡一样。我也能在我的眼泪中感受到她的脆弱。
当我等待他的回答时，炙热的背叛泪水顺着我的脸颊流下，在对这一切的期待中，我能听到我的狼在呼唤他，就像塞壬引诱男人走向死亡一样。我也能在我的眼泪中感受到她的脆弱。

I expect Deacon to tell me I should start walking home.
我希望 Deacon 告诉我应该开始步行回家。

What I don’t expect?
我不期望什么？

I don’t expect him to lick my tears and whisper, “I’m so sorry, baby.”
我不指望他会舔我的眼泪，低声说：“我很抱歉，宝贝。

And I most especially don’t expect him to smash his lips with mine.
我尤其不希望他用我的嘴唇砸碎他的嘴唇。

CHAPTER TWO
第二章

DEACON
执事

‘Stay away from my sister, Deacon. She’s at this age where she thinks you are the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen when it’s so far from the truth.’
“离我姐姐远点，迪肯。她到了这个年纪，她认为你是她见过的最美丽的东西，而这与事实相去甚远。

That was Jake a week ago when I spoke to his sister in their home.
那是一周前我在 Jake 家里和他姐姐交谈时说的。

‘Forget about the Cavanaugh girl or I’ll take matters into my own hands, son.’ 
“别管那个卡瓦诺姑娘了，不然我就自己动手了，孩子。”

And that was my father’s warning, the minute I turned eighteen and told him who my mate was.
这就是我父亲的警告，就在我十八岁的时候，告诉他我的伴侣是谁。

Right now, a thousand thoughts swirl in my mind. Thoughts I shouldn’t entertain. Thoughts I should have never acted upon.
此刻，一千个想法在我的脑海中盘旋。我不该考虑的想法。我不该采取行动的想法。
此刻，一千个想法在我的脑海中盘旋。我不该考虑的想法。我不该采取行动的想法。

If Jacob doesn’t kill me for this then my father will definitely ensure I’m six feet under once he finds out. But maybe this is worth it. 
如果雅各布没有为此杀了我，那么一旦我父亲发现，他肯定会确保我在六英尺以下。但也许这是值得的。

Winter Cavanaugh has been on my mind since she became of age. Add the fact that I knew she was my mate and every plaguing thought has revolved around her.
温特·卡瓦诺 （Winter Cavanaugh） 自从她长大后就一直在我的脑海中。再加上我知道她是我的伴侣，所有令人痛苦的想法都围绕着她。
温特·卡瓦诺 （Winter Cavanaugh） 自从她长大后就一直在我的脑海中。再加上我知道她是我的伴侣，所有令人痛苦的想法都围绕着她。

Starting from the roots of that shiny blonde hair of hers, to the freckles on her nose, to those green orbs she has for eyes, all the way to those pink lips that look kissable from a mile away; this woman has been the death of me and she has no clue just how much.
从她那一头闪亮的金发的根部开始，到她鼻子上的雀斑，到她眼睛上的那些绿色球体，一直到那些从一英里外看起来可以亲吻的粉红色嘴唇;这个女人是我的死亡，她不知道有多少。

I’ve seen her watching me. And going to an extent of coming to the training grounds to cheer me on. Every single second, my wolf has been craving nothing but her, her scent and everything that encompasses Winter Cavanaugh.
我看到她看着我。甚至来到训练场为我加油。每一秒，我的狼都渴望着她，她的气味和围绕着Winter Cavanaugh的一切。

I’ve tried getting my wolf to be satisfied with other women but that has proved impossible because we are attracted to one woman. The woman my wolf and I are not supposed to touch or think about while having a cold shower with a raging boner every single night.
我试过让我的狼对其他女人感到满意，但事实证明这是不可能的，因为我们被一个女人所吸引。我和我的狼不应该在每晚与狂暴的鸡巴一起洗冷水澡时触摸或思考那个女人。
我试过让我的狼对其他女人感到满意，但事实证明这是不可能的，因为我们被一个女人所吸引。我和我的狼不应该在每晚与狂暴的鸡巴一起洗冷水澡时触摸或思考那个女人。

And tonight, I watched her cry because I was an imbecile who couldn’t tell her that yes, we are mates, baby and I’m hella proud you got your wolf tonight.
今晚，我看着她哭泣，因为我是个低能儿，不能告诉她，是的，我们是伙伴，宝贝，我为你今晚得到了你的狼而感到自豪。

The minute she said ‘so I can move on to a guy who’ll actually care about our bond’; I lost all restraint. I hated seeing her cry too so I did what any weak man in my situation would do…. I tasted my mate.
当她说“这样我就可以转向一个真正关心我们关系的男人”的那一刻;我失去了所有的克制。我也讨厌看到她哭泣，所以我做了任何像我这样的弱者都会做的事情......我尝到了我的伴侣的味道。
当她说“这样我就可以转向一个真正关心我们关系的男人”的那一刻;我失去了所有的克制。我也讨厌看到她哭泣，所以我做了任何像我这样的弱者都会做的事情......我尝到了我的伴侣的味道。

The moment her lips touch mine, the last shred of my sanity is lost, to her and this ecstatic feeling that grows as I make her lips fully mine.
当她的嘴唇触碰到我的嘴唇的那一刻，我失去了最后一丝理智，对她来说，这种欣喜若狂的感觉随着我让她的嘴唇完全属于我而增长。

I drown in the tiny noise she lets out as I taste everything her lips have to give and Winter? Goddess, my girl laces her arms around my neck submerging into the pull of the kiss that has both of us starved and stunned. 
我淹没在她发出的微小声音中，当我品尝她的嘴唇所能给予的一切时，冬天？女神，我的女孩用手臂搂住我的脖子，沉浸在让我们俩都感到饥饿和震惊的吻的拉扯中。

The clean sweet taste of her, the jasmine smell of her skin and the submission of her body to mine has every dirty thought inside me roaring like a fire being fed flint, minute after every minute.
她干净甜美的味道，她皮肤上的茉莉花味，以及她的身体对我的屈服，我心中每一个肮脏的想法都像火被燧石喂养的火一样咆哮着，每一分钟都在咆哮。

I can feel all my blood heading south to my cock. I can feel said cock rubbing against my pants painfully as it tries to reach out to what I crave most right now.
我能感觉到我所有的血液都流向南流向我的阴茎。我能感觉到那根鸡巴痛苦地摩擦着我的裤子，因为它试图伸向我现在最渴望的东西。

I want to taste every inch of her.
我想品尝她的每一寸。

I want to see her cunt. Just one look. Just a little peek.
我想看看她的屄。就看一眼。只是看了一眼。

I want to take her right here and the restraint keeping me from doing so seems to grow thin as I suck on her bottom lip savoring her taste to memory.
我想把她带到这里，当我吮吸她的下唇，细细品味她的味道时，阻止我这样做的束缚似乎越来越薄。

“Winter”, I mumble against her lips, the thought of stopping the kiss cutting me from the inside out but I have to.
“冬天”，我在她的嘴唇上喃喃自语，停止这个吻的想法让我从里到外都割伤了我，但我必须这样做。

I can't go any further than I've done tonight.
我不能比今晚更进一步。

“We have to stop”, I utter hoarsely, my words being the complete opposite of what I want.
“我们得停下来”，我嘶哑地说，我的话与我想要的完全相反。
“我们得停下来”，我嘶哑地说，我的话与我想要的完全相反。

But this is what I should want. She turned eighteen a couple months ago, I probably took her first kiss tonight and I'm not going to be the douchebag who fucks her and breaks her virginity in the middle of the woods whether we are bonded or not.
但这就是我应该想要的。她几个月前刚满十八岁，我今晚可能接受了她的初吻，无论我们是否结合，我都不会成为那个在树林里操她并破坏她童贞的混蛋。
但这就是我应该想要的。她几个月前刚满十八岁，我今晚可能接受了她的初吻，无论我们是否结合，我都不会成为那个在树林里操她并破坏她童贞的混蛋。

“No”, Winter lets out a shaky breath and the first mistake I make is looking into her eyes.
“不”，Winter 颤抖地呼出一口气，我犯的第一个错误是看着她的眼睛。

Because her eyes carry the same thing mine are carrying. Desire. Wild and crazy desire.
因为她的眼睛带着和我一样的东西。 欲望。 狂野而疯狂的欲望。
因为她的眼睛带着和我一样的东西。 欲望。 狂野而疯狂的欲望。

“Deacon, I—I’ve never wanted anything more than I want this and you don't get to say no to me after you initiated the first kiss.”
“执事，我——我从来没有想要过任何东西，除了我想要这个，而且在你开始初吻之后，你不能对我说不。”

Seeing her stand up to me only spikes my already hot blood with fire. This is the reason why I shouldn't have kissed her. This is the reason why I’ve stayed away from her and watched her from afar.
看到她站到我面前，只会让我本已炙热的血液燃烧起来。这就是我不该亲吻她的原因。这就是我远离她，远远地看着她的原因。

Her small hand cradles my jaw and I hold it against my cheek, kissing her tenderly when the caveman in me wants to do more than kiss her. My right hand grabs her ass, hauling her tighter to my chest. 
她的小手抱住我的下巴，我把它贴在我的脸颊上，当我内心的穴居人想要做的不仅仅是亲吻她时，温柔地亲吻她。我的右手抓住她的屁股，把她拉得更紧。

Winter lets out a small gasp, her arms banding around my neck again. I give her another kiss on the lips before pulling away to kiss her neck, jaw, cheeks and every inch of her skin my greedy lips can find.
Winter发出一声轻柔的喘息，她的手臂再次搂住了我的脖子。我在她的嘴唇上又吻了一下，然后抽身亲吻她的脖子、下巴、脸颊和我贪婪的嘴唇能找到的每一寸皮肤。
Winter发出一声轻柔的喘息，她的手臂再次搂住了我的脖子。我在她的嘴唇上又吻了一下，然后抽身亲吻她的脖子、下巴、脸颊和我贪婪的嘴唇能找到的每一寸皮肤。

“It’s your first time, baby and while I can’t promise it won’t hurt, I’ll make it good for you.”
“这是你的第一次，宝贝，虽然我不能保证不会痛，但我会让你好起来的。
“这是你的第一次，宝贝，虽然我不能保证不会痛，但我会让你好起来的。

Her emerald eyes dig into mine and she smiles nervously, an action that makes my heart beat twice as fast. I should have told her we were mates as soon as she turned eighteen. I should have kissed her every time she came to watch me thinking I couldn’t notice her.
她翡翠般的眼睛深深地盯着我，她紧张地笑着，这个动作让我的心跳加快了一倍。我应该在她十八岁的时候告诉她我们是伴侣。每次她来看我时，我都应该亲吻她，以为我没有注意到她。

“I trust you, Deacon.”
“我相信你，执事。”

Her words serve as the final straw. I take a step away from her and my mate looks at me disappointedly, not having a clue I want to see every inch of her body naked under the moonlight.
她的话是最后一根稻草。我从她身边走开一步，我的伴侣失望地看着我，不知道我想看到她身体的每一寸都在月光下赤裸裸。
她的话是最后一根稻草。我从她身边走开一步，我的伴侣失望地看着我，不知道我想看到她身体的每一寸都在月光下赤裸裸。

“I want to see you, baby.”
“我想见你，宝贝。”

The blush that creeps up her cheeks makes me smirk lightly. No one has ever spoken to her like that before. And no man has been intimate or will ever be intimate with her but me.
她脸颊上爬上的红晕让我轻轻地笑了笑。以前从来没有人这样和她说话。除了我，没有男人曾经或将来和她亲密。
她脸颊上爬上的红晕让我轻轻地笑了笑。以前从来没有人这样和她说话。除了我，没有男人曾经或将来和她亲密。

“Me?” She stutters. I'm momentarily stuck on staring at her creamy thighs and making my way up to the perky nipples poking out of the shirt she’s wearing. 

“Yes, Winter. I want you on the ground, legs spread for me, with my mouth, fingers and cock each having a taste of you tonight. You want that too, baby?”
“是的，冬天。我要你躺在地上，双腿为我张开，今晚我的嘴巴、手指和鸡巴都尝到了你的滋味。你也想要那个，宝贝？
“是的，冬天。我要你躺在地上，双腿为我张开，今晚我的嘴巴、手指和鸡巴都尝到了你的滋味。你也想要那个，宝贝？

Her breath hitches and her dilated green eyes pierce into mine before she whispers,”I want that.” 

By the time Winter takes off my shirt and lies on it on the ground, I’m already on top of her, making sure I don't crush her. Our lips meet, only this time the kiss is more demanding, more needy. 

I kiss my way down her jaw, lick the skin on her clavicle as I move down to her pebbled nipples.  

Licking the underside of one of her breasts, my mouth waters all the more as I latch on one nipple, tasting how good she feels in my mouth. 

“Oh…Goddess”, Winter moans and I would correct her it’s my name she should be moaning out loud if I wasn’t too busy getting entranced by her pretty pair of tits. 

I pinch her nipple and she squirms before I suck the little thing back in my mouth. 

“Your tits are gorgeous, baby. All creamy and pink. I can’t get enough. I’ll never get enough.” 

“Deacon…please.” 

I drag my tongue against her ribs, kissing her navel before I stop at the apex of her sex.  

I can smell her arousal so damp in the air. I can see her arousal drip right in front of me and there’s nothing that prevents me from kneeling between her legs and sinking my tongue inside her soaking cunt.
我能闻到她的兴奋在空气中如此潮湿。我可以看到她的兴奋就在我面前滴落，没有什么能阻止我跪在她的两腿之间，将我的舌头伸进她湿漉漉的屄里。
我能闻到她的兴奋在空气中如此潮湿。我可以看到她的兴奋就在我面前滴落，没有什么能阻止我跪在她的两腿之间，将我的舌头伸进她湿漉漉的屄里。

“You are not just wet, Winter. Fuck, baby. You are soaking wet for me.” 

“Yes…for you.” 

I eat her pretty pink cunt till she moans my name a few more times. Every moan I wrench from her lips and every orgasm she gives me only fuels the pulsing in my cock. I don’t know how many times Winter Cavanaugh comes on my tongue. All I know is, I will be going on my knees a few times in future to eat this cunt. 

When I finally get on top of her, my thumb circling her throbbing clit and my cock lining her entrance, I lean down to kiss her hoping it will distract her from the pain.

Pushing the tip inside her has me grunting back a moan, the feel of her better than I had imagined for years. I wrench my lips from her swiping the stray locks of hair that have clung to her face, so I can meet her eyes.  

I can’t hurt her. 

The last thing I want to do is hurt her on a special night like this. 

“Shh”, I whisper into her ear, before dragging my lips over her temple. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.” 

Her nails only dig deep into the back of my shoulders. 

“I don't want you to stop. Please don’t stop, Deacon.” 

The sound of her voice urging me to continue sounds like music to my ears and despite that, I don’t thrust inside her at one go.
她催促我继续的声音在我耳中听起来像音乐，尽管如此，我并没有一下子插入她体内。
她催促我继续的声音在我耳中听起来像音乐，尽管如此，我并没有一下子插入她体内。

“I'll take it slow, yeah? We move together, baby. Are you ready?” 

Her swollen lips stretch to a small grin, one that tells me she’s okay and I’m the one too worried about everything
她肿胀的嘴唇张开，露出一个小小的笑容，告诉我她没事，而我是那个太担心一切的人

“As much as I love your smile, you have to use words, Winter. Are you ready?”
“尽管我很喜欢你的笑容，但你得用语言，冬天。你准备好了吗？

“Y—Yes. I'm ready.”
“嗯——是的。我准备好了。

I search for any hint of hesitation on her face. Taking her virginity despite her being wet for me means she'll have to go through the pain as I thrust inside her and I'd do anything to take the pain away.
我在她的脸上寻找任何犹豫的迹象。尽管她对我来说是湿漉漉的，但夺走她的童贞意味着她必须忍受我插入她体内的痛苦，我会做任何事情来消除痛苦。

“Deacon? I'm okay. I'm ready. P-please.”
“执事？ 我没事。 我准备好了。 P-拜托。

The breathless plea she hands me travels like an arrow straight to my heart. I kiss her.
她给我的喘不过气来的恳求像箭一样直奔我的心。我亲吻她。

Then I plunge inside her, slowly, passionately like a lover making love to his mate after being separated for eons.
然后我慢慢地、热情地插入她体内，就像一个情人在分离亿万年后与他的伴侣做爱。

It takes about two thrusts to find Winter’s weak spot and seeing her come on my cock while she screams my name ends up being my damnation.
大约需要抽插两次才能找到 Winter 的弱点，看到她在尖叫我的名字时来到我的鸡巴上，最终成为我的诅咒。

I don't know how long I fuck her in my arms. 
我不知道我在怀里操她多久了。

I don't know how many times I come inside her and how many times I praise her for taking my cock so well. 
我不知道我进入她体内多少次，又有多少次称赞她把我的鸡巴拿得这么好。

All I know is, Winter Cavanaugh is mine after tonight.
我只知道，今晚之后，温特·卡瓦诺就是我的了。

***

“Deacon, I think you should put me down now.”
“执事，我觉得你现在应该把我放下来。”

My hands wrap around her thighs. I’ll not be putting her down anytime soon. 

“You have no shoes and I went pretty hard on you tonight. Carrying you is no trouble for me.” 

Her wolf ran almost two miles into the woods. Another mile more and she would be lost, maybe even in the territory of our pack’s rivals in the south. 

“Jake will overreact when he sees us. And the pack, my parents, Goddess, what will they all say?” 

I kiss the top of her head. We are almost back home. Her brother will most definitely punch me and end our friendship. As for Mr. and Mrs. Cavanaugh, they’ve always liked me. they wouldn’t deny me the chance of making Winter my future Luna. 

Any thoughts about me and Winter are put to a halt when the shrill sound of drums getting pounded echo all the way from our pack’s village. 

Drums in the pack mean one thing. Death.
包装中的鼓意味着一件事。 死亡。

“Deacon”, Winter’s voice wobbles. 

I kiss her on the lips. 

“Everything is going to be okay.” 

Nothing turns out to be okay when we reach Winter’s home. I don’t have to be told who died. The truth is in the smell and the dark smoke that hangs in the skies. The truth is in the people from our pack who start to give me and Winter way as soon as we arrive. 

The truth is in my father’s eyes as he looks at me and nods his head sideways. The only person who doesn’t see the truth is…
真相就在我父亲的眼中，他看着我，侧身点头。唯一看不到真相的人是......

“Winter.” 

“Deacon…let me go. I have to go inside. Jake and my parents are worried sick about me.” 

There is no house because said house has been burnt to ashes. Jake or her parents would be here somewhere if they were alive and the acrid smell of flesh wouldn’t reek so much in the air. 

“Winter.” 

“Jacob said we would…we would get to talk once he came home. I’m home and I w—want to see my brother. Mom is waiting for me too. I have…I have to tell her I got…my wolf. I have to tell mom and dad I got my wolf. I have to show them! Deacon, let me go!” 

“Winter. “ 

“Why won’t you let me see my family? They are…they are waiting for me! They are worried…sick about me but I’m home. I’m… here. I have to go to my family, Deacon.” 

“Winter, they are dead. Your family is dead.” 

CHAPTER THREE 

WINTER 

“Go home. We’ll talk about this when I get home.” 

Jacob’s voice haunts me three weeks later. 

I should have never gone to the training grounds. Maybe if I stayed home, mom and dad would still be here. Maybe Jacob would be here too or maybe I would have done something. I would have…saved them. 

Jacob was one of the strongest betas in the pack and my dad even though retired,beta he had the power to shift. My parents would have escaped the fire by themselves which only leaves me with the only truth I know and believe in. My family was murdered. 

“Here.” 

I’m pulled out of grief by the man who took my virginity the night my parents were murdered and has been acting weird ever since that night.
我被那个在我父母被谋杀的那天晚上夺走了我童贞的男人从悲伤中拉出来，从那天晚上开始就一直表现得很奇怪。
我被那个在我父母被谋杀的那天晚上夺走了我童贞的男人从悲伤中拉出来，从那天晚上开始就一直表现得很奇怪。

I take the glass of water from Deacon’s hands because I need it. 

I haven’t been able to stomach anything since that night and that’s mostly due to the grief that won’t let me go.
自从那天晚上以来，我一直无法忍受 任何事情，这主要是因为悲伤让我无法离开。

I drink half of the water in the glass, handing it back to Deacon. 

“You have to drink all of it, Winter.” 

He’s been calling me Winter since Jake’s death. Not doll face, not baby but Winter. Almost as if he blames me for something. Almost as if he doesn’t want me anymore but I can’t dwell on that. Everyone is gathered here for an entirely different reason. 

Deacon’s dad, Alpha Foster Cross, assembled an emergency meeting for my family and everyone in the pack is supposed to be here, me most included. This meeting serves as the only hope I have of finding my family’s killer.
Deacon 的爸爸 Alpha Foster Cross 为我的家人召集了一次紧急会议，大家都应该在这里，包括我。这次会议是我找到杀害我家人的凶手的唯一希望。

“Betas and omegas, three weeks ago, we witnessed the most horrendous thing to ever happen to our pack. Our very own Melanie Cavanaugh, Will Cavanaugh and Jacob Cavanaugh got caught in a fire that claimed their lives. Now, I promised you that me and my elders would look into the matter. If there was any evidence of foul play or if one of our enemies caused the fire to be precise, I promised to deliver justice. Unfortunately, despite my great efforts, there was no evidence of foul play. The Cavanaugh family died from an accidental fire inside their home.”
“贝塔和欧米茄，三周前，我们目睹了发生在我们狼群身上的最可怕的事情。我们自己的梅兰妮·卡瓦诺、威尔·卡瓦诺和雅各布·卡瓦诺被卷入一场大火，夺走了他们的生命。现在，我向你保证，我和我的长辈会调查这件事。如果有任何犯规的证据，或者如果我们的敌人之一准确地导致了火灾，我承诺会伸张正义。不幸的是，尽管我付出了巨大的努力，但没有证据表明有犯规行为。卡瓦诺一家死于家中的意外火灾。

Most of the men and women agree to whatever Alpha Foster is saying. 

One of them says, ‘Fires are common in small houses’ and another says, ‘that Jacob kid was a menace from the start.’ 

I look at Deacon who’s standing next to his father and listening to everything they are saying about my brother and not once does he correct them and tell them they are wrong. 

Not once does he look at me and I don’t know what pains more, whatever his father says or the fact that he’s siding with his father’s words. 

My parents were murdered. It’s as clear as day. 

“I don’t believe that!” 

I place the empty glass of water by the small table next to me then I stand up walking to where our almighty Alpha is spreading his filthy lies. 

“My parents were murdered.” 

Everyone goes quiet. 

Alpha Foster’s eyes linger on me and they are nowhere near as warm as his son’s. 

“Winter, don't do this.” 

I push Deacon’s arms away 

How dare he side with his father when he knew whatever was being said wasn’t true? How could he? 

“Everyone knows that this was murder. If the fire was an accident, the doors would have worked just fine and my father…my brother they would have…they would have gotten my mom out of there. They would have all escaped! This is what a murder looks like!” 

Alpha Foster Cross steps forward, his apologetic smile not reaching his eyes. 

“You are grieving, child. You are allowed to grieve but this is not what your parents would have wanted.” 

The pack agrees with the Alpha. 

I can see their nods. I can hear every murmur and whisper being tossed around the hall. They think I’ve lost my mind. They think I’m crazy to challenge the Alpha and his words.

‘Deacon will help us. He is our mate, he’ll stick to our side and help us get justice’, the loyalty my wolf has to Deacon makes me want to latch on false hope. 

Deep inside me, I can feel the bond between me and Deacon hang by a thread. The minute he failed to stop his father from saying all those things about my family’s death being an accident, I felt something change between us. 

Despite all that, I side with my wolf because this is Deacon Cross and he will side with us when we need him the most. 

“I, Winter Cavanaugh, omega of Moon Stone pack, demand justice for my parents. As the future Luna of this pack, I want the people who did this to my family found and treated the same way. I deserve to be accorded that much as the future Luna, right?” 

The whispers and murmurs turn into something more. They turn into scornful words and sneers. Alpha Foster runs a hand in his silver hair trying to calm everyone down and assuring them that the future Luna of the pack hasn’t been chosen yet. 

I must admit the Alpha’s words cut me but that doesn’t matter because Deacon Cross chose me as his mate. He’ll stand by me and fight with me.
我必须承认 Alpha 的话让我很伤心，但这并不重要，因为 Deacon Cross 选择了我作为他的伴侣。他会站在我身边，和我一起战斗。
我必须承认 Alpha 的话让我很伤心，但这并不重要，因为 Deacon Cross 选择了我作为他的伴侣。他会站在我身边，和我一起战斗。

I look at Deacon waiting for the same knight in shining armor who saved me and made love to me in the woods, to come to my rescue. My naïve eighteen-year-old heart hopes for the impossible.
我看着狄肯，等待着那个穿着闪亮盔甲的骑士，他在树林里救了我，并与我发生了关系，来拯救我。我天真的十八岁心里希望不可能的事情。
我看着狄肯，等待着那个穿着闪亮盔甲的骑士，他在树林里救了我，并与我发生了关系，来拯救我。我天真的十八岁心里希望不可能的事情。

“Stop this nonsense right now, Deacon”, Alpha Foster whispers loud enough for me and his son to hear. 

Deacon faces the pack addressing them. 

“I, Deacon Cross, future Alpha of Moon Stone pack, have not chosen a mate yet. Winter Cavanaugh is not my mate. However, I would like all of us to help her during these tough times she’s going through.”

I don’t stick around to listen to whatever else he has to say. I feel sick. The sting of his rejection comes like another slap to the face on top of everything that has happened this past few weeks  .

My wolf takes the rejection the hardest. I can hear her waiting on Deacon, thinking that Deacon will follow us and apologize saying it was all a big mistake, that he was wrong and he rejected us in the heat of the moment. 

Deacon never follows us though and shame and humiliation feel sticky against my skin as I slowly get away from all of them. I want to run but I have nowhere to go. I have no one to turn to. I’m all alone. My parents left me. Jake left me. Jake warned me about Deacon. Why didn’t I listen?  

It feels like so many hours have passed when I knock on the door of the last person I consider a friend. 

“Winter?” 

“Crystal, hey. I was wondering if maybe I could stay here for a while?” 

The look on her face has another piece of my heart breaking. 

“Sorry, Winter. I’m really sorry about Jake and your parents but I don’t think my parents will be okay with me letting you stay here given what happened today. They don’t want to get in trouble with the Alpha.” 

“No. Yeah, it’s okay. I…I get it.” 

“Winter-“ 

“Thanks for everything.” 

By the time I leave Crystal’s house, that’s when I realize I’ve truly lost everything. 

Ten minutes later and I’m standing by the edge of the cliff where parents in Moon Stone pack warn their kids not to go. The cliff overlooks the sea, I catch a whiff of the sea salt, listen to the calming waves which crash against the base of the cliff, then I inhale one last gulp of breath ready to end the pain… 

‘Winter? We are pregnant.’ 

CHAPTER FOUR 

DEACON 

ONE YEAR LATER 

The mid-winter’s air filters through my nostrils, resting heavy in my lungs and bringing with it the same hollowness I’ve been feeling for days. The last of the snow pours from the skies and if you look up keenly, you can see the dark heavy clouds settle in like a curse brought forth by the Goddess herself. 

Some would say the weather matches the occasion. Me? I’d say the weather has been this way since the Cavanaughs’ house burnt down and destroyed everything good in my pack. 

A subtle knock sounds against the wood of my door and I pull myself from the window, settling down on the seat that felt like a throne to my father once upon a time. I take the bottle of scotch resting on my desk, pouring myself a glass. 

“Come in”, my voice comes out huskily. 

I haven’t spoken for a while. 

It takes a minute for my visitor to open the door and usher herself inside. 

It takes another minute for me to drink the scotch from my glass feeling it burn my throat but do nothing to soothe the burn in my chest that has continued growing bigger and bigger since my mate left. 

I’ve been having tons of visitors since my father fell sick. Today, my visitor is none other than the last woman I want to see. 

Crystal Sanders stands in my office. Her dark hair up in a ponytail, her lips smeared by some kind of red lipstick, her body in a tiny dress that hugs all of her curves.
克里斯特尔·桑德斯（Crystal Sanders）站在我的办公室里。她的黑发扎成马尾辫，嘴唇上涂着某种红色的口红，她的身体穿着一件紧贴着她所有曲线的小裙子。
克里斯特尔·桑德斯（Crystal Sanders）站在我的办公室里。她的黑发扎成马尾辫，嘴唇上涂着某种红色的口红，她的身体穿着一件紧贴着她所有曲线的小裙子。

She’s dressed to impress for sure. Unfortunately for her, she could be standing naked in my office and I would barely notice.
她的穿着肯定是为了给人留下深刻印象。对她来说不幸的是，她可能赤身裸体地站在我的办公室里，我几乎不会注意到。
她的穿着肯定是为了给人留下深刻印象。对她来说不幸的是，她可能赤身裸体地站在我的办公室里，我几乎不会注意到。

The only woman I would kill to see naked is gone. But I’ll find her. I’ll find my mate soon and bring her back. I’ll end this torment once and for all. 

“Deacon”, Crystal purrs my name, her voice laced with the same sultry she’s been using on me since Winter disappeared and my father got ill 

If I cared enough about her and her actions, I’d dwell on the way her eyes buzz with excitement every time she steps in my office, how she takes every opportunity to put her hands on my shoulders and how big of a smile she gives me when I speak to her. It doesn’t take a genius to see Crystal Sanders is shamelessly infatuated with me. I could care less about the whole thing. 

“Crystal.” Her name flies out of my mouth dryly. 

The only reason I’ve been entertaining the woman in my office is because she was Winter’s best friend once upon a time. Yet one question gnaws at my mind.If Crystal really was Winter’s best friend, why would she flirt with her best friend’s mate? Why would she go to the extent of trying to seduce her best friend’s mate with the short dresses she wears every time she comes to see me?

If anything, this woman was never Winter’s friend. Frankly speaking, I don’t think she understands how the concept of loyalty works. 

“I just came from seeing Uncle Foster and the doctor said he’s doing a bit better. You shouldn’t be worried. Your father is going to be okay.” 

My father has been bedridden for six months. The healers have been trying all they can to nurse him back to health, the pack has been praying for him but his state has only continued to worsen. 

Foster Cross is not getting any better. His wolf is not healing him either. If I’m being honest, my old man is one day away from kicking the bucket and I don’t feel a morsel of pity about it. 

“Thank you for the concern, Crystal. I appreciate it”, I repeat the same words I’ve been giving every member in the pack who comes to assure me that everything will be okay with the Alpha. 

Crystal’s eyes light up, as if my words have just handed her a bag of the most coveted candy. 

“Of course. I’m here for you, Deacon. Always. I know you are still mourning Jake and you are still dealing with what Winter did to you but I’ll never leave you. I’m here to help-” 

The scoff that leaves my throat almost engulfs the entire room in flames. 

I haven’t heard my mate’s name since she disappeared.

“Pray tell, Crystal. What did my mate do to me?” 

The ice in my tone and the tick in my jaw has the woman in front of me taking a step back. 

“I just meant she left you. She just took off and left but I won’t do that. I’ll be by your side as long as you need me.”
“我只是说她离开了你。她就这样走了，但我不会那样做。只要你需要我，我就会在你身边。

Winter didn’t just leave me with no explanation.  

I failed her. I betrayed her. I rejected her. I’m the one who left her not the other way around and I regret every second of it. 

I’m about to educate the woman who was once my mate’s best friend about that tiny detail when someone knocks on my door for the second time of the day.  

This time around I don’t have to shout ‘come in’ to my visitor because she barges right in. 

Tall, thin with graying hair and a pale look on her face, the pack’s healer looks at me and whispers the very thing I’ve been waiting for months. 

“Deacon, your father… Alpha Foster wants to see you.” 

xxx 

Small shards of the sun’s light penetrate into the room and lie across the floorboards of my father’s bedroom. Many are the times I played in this room before my mother died when I was two and my father took the role of being both mother and father to me. 

Years later and the same room has lost my mother’s smell as well the best memories I shared with her. 

If anything, it smells like death here. 

“Deacon. Come…Come here”, my father’s groggy voice beckons me from where he’s sleeping on the bed. 

His face is practically white, his once great body reduced to nothing but a sack of bones, his hair the same color as mine, is now gray and his lips are cracked like a man trying to hold his last breath. 

Except today is the day my father dies. I can see it. Can feel it and the healer said so too. 

I stand by his bedside watching him try to speak. 

“Dad.” 

The air stirs around us, the tension so palpable I can taste it in my mouth.

“I’m dying. I’ve tried to hold on, son but this? This seems like the end of the road for me. My pack, my family… I’m leaving them behind.” 

The fake smile on my lips is enough to make my stomach churn as I assure him,”I’ll take care of everything, dad. Our family and our pack. They are mine now.” 

“Yes. Yes. You’ll be Alpha. You’ll make a good Alpha. Better… than I was. Stronger.” 

Grabbing the headboard of his bed, I lean closer to him, right where he can hear me loud and clear as every breath escapes from his body. 

“I’ll make a good Alpha, dad. You know why? Because I intend to bring back the woman you forced me to reject a year ago.”
“我会成为一个好的 Alpha，爸爸。 知道为什么吗？ 因为我打算把你一年前强迫我拒绝的那个女人带回来。
“我会成为一个好的 Alpha，爸爸。 知道为什么吗？ 因为我打算把你一年前强迫我拒绝的那个女人带回来。

His bloodshot eyes go wide and he uses the only remaining strength in his body to grab my shirt. I can only smirk at that.

“You were the Alpha then and I couldn’t stop you from harming my mate but the fucking minute you die, I’ll be the Alpha, I’ll protect her, I’ll make her Luna and give you as many bouncing grandchildren as I can.” 

I want him to roll in his grave as Winter and I have the happy ending we deserved.

“She was not…not worthy! She was a Cavanaugh! I did everything for you. I did it for you!” 

This man, my father, a year ago, had gone to extreme lengths to keep me away from Winter.  

“You did it for me? You have never done anything for anyone. Everything you did, you did for yourself.” 

Everything that happened to my mate has been on me and I'll live to ask for forgiveness from her. 

My father’s teeth grind in his mouth,the realization of what I’m about to do hitting him hard.

“You think I don’t know you did it, dad? That you killed Jacob, that you killed Winter’s parents? All for what? Huh? So you could teach me a lesson? Separate me from her? Well I’m swearing on your deathbed, Foster, Winter Cavanaugh will be back in my arms soon and there’s nothing you can do about it.” 

My words turn out to be the sharpest blades that have ever sliced his body. The horrific look on his face only makes his white skin turn paler almost like how a wounded animal discovers there’s no way to escape the predator. And death? It might be the biggest predator of all. 

His hands, which are now more boneless than anything, grip my shirt but with the disease festering in his blood like poison, the almighty Foster can’t do the very thing his mind is telling him to.

He wants to punch me. To put me in line. Joke’s on him because this is the last time we breathe the same air. 

Bloodshot eyes, the color of a madman, lock in on me as he opens his mouth trying to fight me,”You are not going… to ruin your future. Over my dead body, you will not-” 

I’m about to inform him he’s already going to be dead by sunset but fate takes its natural course. 

My father’s hands loosen against the collar of my shirt and I take a step away watching the Almighty Foster Cross break into a series of uncontrollable coughs.The coughs turn into him squelching blood from his mouth and nose. 

Angling his head so our eyes can meet, his frail hand reaches out to me, seeking sympathy but there is no sympathy for a wicked man like him.

“Deacon…help…me.” 

I watch the once great Alpha of Moonstone pack choke on his own blood while he begs me to help him. 

I don’t help him of course because death comes for him faster than the shock can do so. The beeping machines near his bed roar louder than my breathing. 

The healer and her assistants run into the room trying to revive my father but I know the truth. 

Foster Cross is dead and I’m the new alpha of the Moonstone pack. 

Two minutes later, I’m holding my little sister, Mia, in my arms as she sobs over our father’s death. I barely shed a tear as they announce that the alpha is dead.  

The mourning goes on for about three days. The burial preparations are held by the pack.  

I stand in my office, the room that has been my friend for days, looking at the betas I hired to follow Winter when she left the town.

My heart pounds in my mouth. The thrill of finally being with my mate licks my veins and gives me life. I can almost hear my wolf growling in anticipation. 

I’m coming for you, baby. 

We are going to finally be together. 

“Where is my mate?” I ask. 

“Alpha Deacon, we tried to follow her just like you asked but we lost track of her eight months ago.”

CHAPTER FIVE 

WINTER
冬

SEVEN YEARS LATER 

A smirk folds on my lips and in no time, it stretches to a smile as I watch the two tiny three foot tall monsters wipe their cheeks with the back of their hands.
我的嘴唇上浮现出一丝得意的笑容，很快，当我看着两个三英尺高的小怪物用手背擦拭脸颊时，它变成了微笑。

Normally on a late morning like this, I would be scolding them for their behavior but how do I scold two boys who have brown chocolate smeared on their cheeks and are currently looking at me with the most innocent looks they can muster?
通常在这样的深夜，我会因为他们的行为而责骂他们，但我怎么责骂两个脸颊上涂着棕色巧克力的男孩，他们现在正用他们能聚集起来的最无辜的眼神看着我呢？
通常在这样的深夜，我会因为他们的行为而责骂他们，但我怎么责骂两个脸颊上涂着棕色巧克力的男孩，他们现在正用他们能聚集起来的最无辜的眼神看着我呢？

I place a hand on my hip, lifting a brow, “I’m going to ask again, boys. Who ate the last remaining piece of chocolate cake that was meant for mommy?” 

Adrian’s blue-green eyes land on me and he nods his head saying, “Not me, mommy.” 

I fight back a chuckle. 

Adrian has pieces of said cake on his right cheek and on his nose. 

Turning to Asher, I toss him the same question, “Do you have any clue who ate mommy’s cake, Asher?”

Asher whispers back a ‘no’ just as fast as his brother did. I’m about to reprimand them for their behavior when the buzzing sound of my doorbell spears the air. 

I don’t have to guess to know it’s Isabel, my twins’ nanny, by the door. She comes in right before I go to work, prepares the kids’ lunches and drops the kids at school. She also picks them up from school for me when work runs late in the office. Safe to say, she’s been the only nanny to my boys since I arrived in Bracken City. Bonus point being my boys loved her as soon as they met her. 

“Isabel!” Asher shouts in excitement. 

Putting on my other pair of heels and straightening my skirt, I walk to the door opening it. Isabel walks right in greeting me with a jolly ‘good morning’. 

“Running late?” She asks. 

I tuck my blouse in my skirt, looking for my coat and bag that are somewhere resting on the couch if the boys didn’t move them. I’m hoping they didn’t, otherwise I'll be running ten minutes late to work. 

“Almost late. Someone stole my chocolate cake from the fridge and we’ve been trying to figure out who did it.” 

My eyes flick to the boys standing guiltily near the kitchen island. Isabel gives me a knowing look, stifling back a chuckle. 

I move to the living room, taking an approximate five minutes to find my coat and bag and fix everything else. Isabel’s laughter and my boys’ voices come from the kitchen and the sound of it all makes my heart ache a little. 

I would give everything to spend every second of my time with Adrian and Asher but unfortunately I can't afford the privilege. Life in Bracken city is expensive and working as an assistant barely pays enough for me to retire or take off-days.
我愿意付出一切，把每一秒的时间都花在Adrian和Asher身上，但不幸的是，我负担不起这种特权。布雷肯城的生活很昂贵，做助理的薪水勉强够我退休或休假。

But I’m content with my family as it is. Life is good and I have my boys to thank for that. I wouldn’t be alive without them. 

Wiping the memories from my mind, I move to the kitchen and it takes less than a second before my boys come hugging each of my feet. I almost fall down from the weight. 

“I’m sorry, mommy!” Asher shouts, his onyx dark eyes, landing on me with a pool of unshed tears. “I ate the cake. I’m sorry.” 

“I ate the cake too. Sorry, mommy.” Adrian follows. 

I ruffle their hair before kneeling on the tiled floor to be at a level with them. 

Goddess, I never thought seven years later, I’d be having the sweetest boys to ever walk the earth but here we are. Adrian and Asher both look like him. From the unruly dark hair, to his dark consuming eyes, to his face and to that mole on the back of their necks, Goddess do they look like him and I should hate it but Asher and Adrian are mine. My babies. My children. 

“What did we say about eating desserts before breakfast?” I ask. 

“That we shouldn’t eat cake without mommy’s permission”, Asher responds. 

“That we shouldn’t lie to mommy when we eat cake without her permission”, Adrian adds. 

Isable chuckles behind them shaking her head. 

“That’s right. Give mommy a kiss then?” 

They both give me a kiss on the cheek. The same kisses that have always started my day.
他们俩都亲吻了我的脸颊。同样的吻总是开始我的一天。
他们俩都亲吻了我的脸颊。同样的吻总是开始我的一天。

“We love you mommy.” 

And I love you more than anything in this world. 

“I love you too, baby. Have a good day in school and no giving Isabel a hard time, yeah?” 

“Yes, mommy.” 

I shower them with kisses five minutes later, knowing that walking out that door to go to work always kills me every time. 

The upside of Bracken City, the one that drew me here more than anything, is the lack of bullshit rules and expectations from the society. The same rules and expectations that were enforced in the pack I grew up in. Here, betas and omegas coexist without there being an Alpha to dictate what ought to be done or a pack you have to belong to. Everyone minds their business, beta, omega, no one cares about you or your past. An added bonus point to why I like this city is that Alphas are rare to find here. The downside of living in Bracken City however, more than the heat that beats down my car and seeps all the way down to my blouse, is the traffic. Two missed calls from my manager and one from my best friend and coworker, Julie, tells me I’m on the verge of being fired for running late. 

I tap my steering wheel furiously, my eyes lingering outside the window at the miles and miles of cars that don’t seem like they’ll be moving soon.  

‘Relax. We’ll be there on time.’ My wolf assures me so I try to breathe gazing at the clear blue skies, the palm trees that are as tall as the buildings, breathing in the smell of gas from the cars and a distant scent of ground coffee beans.
“放松。我们会准时到的。我的狼向我保证，所以我试着呼吸，凝视着湛蓝的天空，与建筑物一样高的棕榈树，呼吸着汽车的汽油味和遥远的咖啡粉香味。
“放松。我们会准时到的。我的狼向我保证，所以我试着呼吸，凝视着湛蓝的天空，与建筑物一样高的棕榈树，呼吸着汽车的汽油味和遥远的咖啡粉香味。

Bracken City and Moonstone city are two worlds apart. The place I was born in didn’t have such buildings or cars or such noise. I’m pretty sure Jake would have loved this city and the thought of him brings the same pain I’ve been feeling for years. The one that impales my heart when I think of home and my family. 

Fortunately, like the universe can feel me teetering to the abyss, the traffic starts moving and in less than ten minutes, my car pulls up in Bracken Holdings, the shipping company I’ve been working in for close to five years. 

Taking the usual lift with my fellow coworkers today feels off. Again I could blame it on the heat inside the lift that has all of us sweating like pigs and sharing the same muggy air but something is off. 

It starts the very minute Ashley from the human resources department whispers something to her friend. 

“I heard he’s coming in today and apparently it’s mandatory for everyone to be present when he comes in.” 

I’m not eavesdropping if everyone in the lift can hear her too. While Julie and Luka like work gossip more than they like doing actual work, I’ve never cared about said gossip but something about what Ashley says makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand. 

Who’s coming? The boss? And if he wants everyone to be present when he comes in, it can only mean two things. Either some of us are getting promoted or some of us are getting fired. I’m praying to the Goddess that it’s the former.
谁来了？老板？如果他想让他进来时每个人都在场，那只能意味着两件事。要么我们中的一些人升职，要么我们中的一些人被解雇。我在向女神祈祷，是前者。
谁来了？老板？如果他想让他进来时每个人都在场，那只能意味着两件事。要么我们中的一些人升职，要么我们中的一些人被解雇。我在向女神祈祷，是前者。

“Mr. Wilfred has never shown his face in the office. Okay maybe once and that was last year because of an emergency so why now?” Ashley’s friend asks. 

The numbers on the lift increase by the second and my heart pulses by the minute as I await Ashley’s answer. 

“Oh no. Rumor around the office is, Mr. Wilfred is no longer the boss. We have a new boss. Apparently he’s an Alpha.” 

The way Ashley purrs the word ‘Alpha’ almost makes me sicker than the news of having a new boss but there’s no denying that everyone inside the elevator has a gasp lodged in their throats. 

Alphas in Bracken city are as rare as finding diamonds in the sand so to hear that the new boss is an Alpha takes everyone by surprise. I can almost hear their thoughts. An Alpha being the boss would mean everyone has no choice but to obey and submit because Alphas are generally intimidating beings 

The lift doors part and I move out quickly heading to the finance department where I work as an assistant to the head of the aforementioned department.  

I barely make it to my manager's office when Luka steps in my way and Julie shows up out of nowhere pulling me to her work station.
我刚到经理办公室，Luka 挡住了我的去路，Julie 突然出现，把我拉到她的工作站。
我刚到经理办公室，Luka 挡住了我的去路，Julie 突然出现，把我拉到她的工作站。

“As much as I love running into you guys, my manager will kill me if I don’t make it to-” 

“Your manager got fired”, Luka cuts me off with a smile. 

Blood drains from my face, my lungs almost collapsing. 

“What do you mean he got fired?Him being fired means… I no longer have a job? 

Julie, the calm one, the omega who befriended me on my first day here puts her hand on my shoulder, giving me a placating smile,”What Luka is trying to say is, every head of every department got fired.” 

“Does this have to do with the new boss? Ashley was talking about it in the lift but I thought she was bluffing.” 

Fuck. Ashley wasn’t lying at all. 

Luka, pushes back his hair, that brown gelled hair he treats like his child, before he rolls his eyes, “Of course Ashley knows about the new boss. That leech knows about every single guy, especially if said guy comes with dollar bills dripping from his pockets.” 

My lungs only deflate further. What does a new boss mean for us assistants?
我的肺只会进一步放气。新老板对我们助理意味着什么？
我的肺只会进一步放气。新老板对我们助理意味着什么？

“You know him?” It seems I'm the only one who doesn’t. 

“Nope. Heard of him today. And what I've heard tells me it’s either we are losing our jobs or getting a new ruthless boss. They are saying he has money practically leaking from his pockets. He’s a billionaire who’s investing in companies like ours for fun and when he gets tired he’ll toss all of us aside. I heard he acquired casinos as well as two of the largest shipping industries in Bracken city in a span of two years and before you ask, he accomplished this by making sure his employees worked to the bone.” 

I know how ruthless Alphas can be and yet I still try to fight the rumor mill that is starting to make me weak in the knees, “I’m sure he’s not that bad, Luka.” 

Luka’s mocking laughter follows, telling me he’s not yet finished. 

“If that isn’t surprising enough, the new boss is apparently so handsome, he has women like Ashley falling at his feet everyday. The irony being, he rejects every single woman to ever approach him. I’m calling it now, we should be prepared to say goodbye to our jobs.” 

I can feel Julie’s smile and hear her statement before she even states it,”Maybe he’s a good Alpha. Come on, give the new guy the benefit of the doubt.”

I’m the one to crush her little statement, “No Alphas are good, Julie, Especially ones with power.” 

I leant that the hard way but I don’t tell my friends that. I’m almost recovering from the shock of how my work will be affected by all this when the only remaining manager in the building calls all of us so we can gather around and meet the new boss.
我以艰难的方式努力，但我没有告诉我的朋友。我几乎要从这一切会影响我的工作的震惊中恢复过来，这时大楼里唯一剩下的经理打电话给我们所有人，让我们聚在一起见新老板。
我以艰难的方式努力，但我没有告诉我的朋友。我几乎要从这一切会影响我的工作的震惊中恢复过来，这时大楼里唯一剩下的经理打电话给我们所有人，让我们聚在一起见新老板。

Julie, Luka and everyone who works in Bracken Holdings, stands at least ten feet away from the elevator. Rumors fly around about how cold the new billionaire is. Some whisper about how this new boss has won battles for his pack before he decided to venture into the clean world of business and money. 

I’m shaking inwardly from what awaits me and my job. 

I can feel my wolf stir inside me with the same fear. 

And maybe that should have been my first clue that everything was about to change. 

Maybe I should have relied on that instinct inside me that buzzed the minute I stood there with my friends, like sheep huddled together waiting for the big bad wolf. 

Because the minute the elevator doors open, revealing an expensive Brioni suit, a glinting Rolex on his wrist and a six foot three man in said suit, the ground beneath my heels shakes. 

“Oh Goddess, he looks like he fell from the heavens”,a woman I recognize from the printing room, shrieks in a high-pitched voice. 

“He’s so hot!” Ashley’s sickeningly sweet voice joins the bandwagon. Murmurs fly around within seconds like fireworks exploding after getting a whiff of fire. 

My feet remain rooted to the ground as almost everyone moves to get closer to the new boss. 

An almost too familiar scent, the one that appears in my nightmares and haunts me to no end, hangs so thickly in the air, I can almost feel my entire body getting covered in hives.
一种几乎太熟悉的气味，出现在我的噩梦中并无休止地困扰着我，它如此浓密地悬挂在空气中，我几乎可以感觉到我的整个身体都被荨麻疹覆盖。
一种几乎太熟悉的气味，出现在我的噩梦中并无休止地困扰着我，它如此浓密地悬挂在空气中，我几乎可以感觉到我的整个身体都被荨麻疹覆盖。

Dark hair, the same as my sons’, comes to sight,The same hair I ran my fingers in on that unforgettable night The memory of that forbidden night churns my soul more than the scent that has rendered me immobile. 

Sharp muscled jaw, hardened by years of being apart, taunts me from a distance. 

My wolf and I are taken back to the days when he and his calming presence were everything that mattered to us as our world came crumbling down.. 

Muscles not from a boy but from a man who’s grown to be the Alpha he was always destined to be, mock every female in the room. Every female but me. 

I can taste the rush of the severed bond between us slowly flickering to a dulling pain in my chest and I refuse to let it cripple me. I refuse to let the burn behind my eyes win too. 

When cold, dark eyes search the room finding me a throng of people,my throat closes in on itself, my heart, the one that this man left bleeding in chains, pounds against my chest cavity.  

My first instinct urges me to escape, get out of here, take everything and run. Because I have everything to lose. 

My second instinct tells me that he’s not real, that he’s not here but I know those eyes. 

Seven years later and I know the man looking at me like I wronged him is none other than Deacon freaking Cross, my new boss. 

CHAPTER SIX 

DEACON
执事

All good things come to those who wait.  

I haven’t waited seven years because I’m one patient man. 

I have waited seven years because my mate has been that good and elusive at hiding. 

Years of saying her name in dreams, nightmares, while at wars, under my shower, in almost everything I fucking saw and finally, the wait is over. And this time, there’s no running from me, Winter Cavanaugh. 

The many ‘congratulations for acquiring Bracken Holdings’ splice the air around me, the welcome jubilee that’s headed by a few omegas and betas, cocoons me with handshakes and all manner of greetings but my eyes hone in on the woman who’s looking at me with such distaste I can almost sniff it in the air. 

Hate me as much as your little heart desires, baby. Give me your hate, I can take it. 

The same green eyes that bore into mine, that dilated with pleasure as I sucked her neck and pumped inside her, are no longer filled with the same desire or the same innocence from seven years ago. 

If anything, those green eyes look different. More mature. More resilient. 

That blonde hair I ran my hands in while I made love to her in those woods has now been dyed to brown. I’d say I prefer her blonde hair but her brown hair makes my blood light aflame. Like gasoline to an inferno. 

But most of all, as much as seven years have changed me, so have they changed my mate. 

The age of twenty five looks good on her. That professional getup she has on hugs her voluptuous curves. Curves that have only grown bigger with time. 

Jacob would be smiling if he saw her right about now. She survived for seven years all on her own and that takes strength. I’m more proud of her than she knows. 

My eyes sweep another look on her face, committing every new feature to detail, locking everything new about her inside my mind because that’s where she has lived tormenting me.

Does she know how long I have been looking for her? How crazy and manic, my wolf and I have been without her?
她知道我找她多久了吗？没有她，我和我的狼是多么疯狂和狂躁？

Does she know I found her a week ago, bought this bankrupt company she works for, for twelve million dollars so I could become close to her without her running away from me? 

“Boss? Your office is right this way. Let me show you around”, the middle-aged man, who smells like an omega, pats me on the shoulder like we are acquaintances. 

For the sake of formality and trying not to breach the distance between me and my mate lest I scare her away and I begin the whole ‘hide and seek’ thing once again, I play along,”Lead the way.” 

For the next half an hour, I’m shown at least ten departments in Bracken Holdings and in every department I’m forced to act cordial by pretending that every handshake I initiate with my employees doesn’t make me pissed off. Only thing I’m interested in this building is the woman with five inch red-bottom heels, a window-pane blue blouse and a skirt that completes the whole thing by hugging her hips. Unfortunately for me, I don't see Winter again.

Knowing her, she probably ran. But she’s the same woman who’s worked in this company and in the same city for seven years. That tells me she won’t run. She likes this city. She likes this company. Reason number why I bought it for her. 

I get to the office after what feels like ages and the first thing I do is stand by the transparent glass walls admiring the view of Bracken City on a hot Tuesday noon. Skyscrapers taller than the building I’m standing in reflect the orange cadence of the sun back to my office, the smell from below right where cars honk at each other, clogs my nostrils and in all that white noise, the only thing I focus on is Winter's scent. On the look that was on Winter’s face. On the column of Winter’s throat as that pulse near her neck throbbed when she saw me. Everything on my mate. 

“We are grateful for everything, boss. Sir Wilfred never showed up at the office or checked in on things but we are hoping things will be different with you.” 

Wilfred had a gambling problem and I used that little information to my advantage. Getting Wilfred to sell his company for twelve million dollars was like stealing candy from a baby. It didn’t take the old man less than two minutes to sign the papers and hand me his company and I couldn’t be any more grateful since due to Wilfred’s gambling, I’m back in Winter’s life and I'm more than tired of the hide and seek game we’ve been revolving around for seven years.
威尔弗雷德有赌博问题，我利用了这个小信息。让威尔弗雷德以一千二百万美元的价格卖掉他的公司，就像从婴儿那里偷糖果一样。老人花了不到两分钟就签署了文件，把他的公司交给了我，我再感激不过了，因为威尔弗雷德的赌博，我又回到了冬天的生活，我已经厌倦了我们围绕着七年的捉迷藏游戏。
威尔弗雷德有赌博问题，我利用了这个小信息。让威尔弗雷德以一千二百万美元的价格卖掉他的公司，就像从婴儿那里偷糖果一样。老人花了不到两分钟就签署了文件，把他的公司交给了我，我再感激不过了，因为威尔弗雷德的赌博，我又回到了冬天的生活，我已经厌倦了我们围绕着七年的捉迷藏游戏。

It’s time I finally see my mate. . 

“Cyrus?” I can hardly remember his name. It's ironic since he’s been speaking to me for close to an hour. 

“Simon, boss. My name is Simon”, he corrects nervously. 

My gaze still outside, my wolf badgering inside me to see Winter again, I give Simon a command.“Get me Winter Cavanaugh.” 

“Sir?” 

“The woman with the emerald green eyes, mocha brown hair, blue blouse, dark skirt, dark heels, I want her inside my office in the next five minutes.” 

I’d add the woman who looked at me like she wanted my neck in a noose but that’s sufficient information to get Winter inside my office. 

“Of course, Sir. Right away, Sir.” 

I settle in my chair and wait. 

My mate takes close to twenty minutes to show up to my office, the action amusing if I wasn’t dying to see her up close and in my arms. 

The click of her feels against the linoleum floor is the first thing I hear as she saunters inside my office. 

The next thing I feel is her scent. Like a cocoon hugging and hogging my senses. The scent itself is enough to raise me to my feet and round my desk.
接下来我感觉到的是她的气味。就像一个茧拥抱和蚕食我的感官。气味本身就足以让我站起来，绕着我的桌子转一圈。
接下来我感觉到的是她的气味。就像一个茧拥抱和蚕食我的感官。气味本身就足以让我站起来，绕着我的桌子转一圈。

My throat constricts, my heart pummeling against my chest and that pull, that bond between us tugging at my heartstrings. 

Winter looks at me once then avoids my eyes altogether as her hand extends some sort of document in my direction. 

“This is my resignation letter, Mr. Cross. Please accept it.” 

Her words hit me like a cold bucket of ice water to the face. The sound of her calling me Mr.Cross like we are strangers makes a static ring in my ears.

I’m not accepting her fucking resignation letter. 

Neither am I letting this be the first conversation we have in seven years. 

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

I haven’t called her name out loud in years and she must feel it because she gives me her eyes. Eyes that are filled with so much disdain it’s enough to maim me where I stand. 

“I’m resigning so accept my resignation letter or don’t accept it but i’ll no longer be working for Bracken Holdings as of-” 

I could blame my actions on the mate bond that rages like a spitfire inside my blood. 

I could blame it on my wolf who’s been growling the word ‘mate’ since we saw her again. 

But grabbing her waist and pulling her body to my chest is all on me. I’m not ashamed either when I lock my lips with hers, having a taste of what I've desired and not had for seven years. 

Our lips clash like blades from opposing teams, her taste injects in my system trimming all the years of torment to sweet bliss, her body melts in my arms and I’m taken back to when I had her before I broke her so bad she had to run to another city to escape me. 

Kiss. My hands dig into her waist. 

“I’m here, baby.” 

Kiss. I trace the line on her back, the one hidden by the blouse I want to rip from her body. 

“I’m back for you.” 

Kiss. I suck her bottom lip, living off her taste like I need it for survival. 

“I’ll never leave you.” 

I’m about to lean in for another kiss when the feel of her hand crushing down on my cheek echoes. Understanding she just slapped me takes a second to sink in.
我正要俯身再亲一下，这时她的手压在我脸颊上的感觉回荡着。明白她刚刚打了我一巴掌，花了一秒钟才沉浸其中。
我正要俯身再亲一下，这时她的手压在我脸颊上的感觉回荡着。明白她刚刚打了我一巴掌，花了一秒钟才沉浸其中。

“You bastard!” 

She wipes her lips with the palm of her hand. An action that arouses anger from me. 

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

Taking one step forward towards her, makes her take one step back. 

My lungs are on fire, my lips watering and throbbing for more. I learn the hard way that the kiss means nothing to Winter, the minute her green eyes impale me with her hatred.
我的肺在燃烧，我的嘴唇流泪和悸动，希望能更多。我痛苦地了解到，这个吻对冬天来说毫无意义，就在她绿色的眼睛用她的仇恨刺穿我的那一刻。
我的肺在燃烧，我的嘴唇流泪和悸动，希望能更多。我痛苦地了解到，这个吻对冬天来说毫无意义，就在她绿色的眼睛用她的仇恨刺穿我的那一刻。

“I hope the kiss was enough for you to consider my resignation, Mr. Cross. If we are done here then I’ll take my leave hoping that we don’t ever run into each other again.” 

Her pretending that I was the only one who enjoyed the kiss bruises my ego much more than I would have anticipated. Her indifference and that dead cold gaze of hers leaves a bad taste in my mouth but I endure it. I’ll endure everything till she forgives me. 

Winter turns around to leave but she’s sorely mistaken if she thinks I'll let her walk away from me again. 

“Be my personal assistant and I'll triple your salary. I’ll give you forty eight hours to think about my offer and for that reason, I’m not accepting your resignation letter, Ms. Cavanaugh. Not until I have your answer.” 

CHAPTER SEVEN 

WINTER
冬

Keep walking. 

Keep walking. 

Everything’s okay. 

The five inch-heels adorning my feet are one step away from breaking and shoving me to the floor but I hold my head high and I’ll be damned If I let a single kiss and a man who has no right being back in my life, weigh me down. 

Bitter memories from the past rattle my chest in discomfort, angry tears sting my eyes as I make my way outside the new boss’ office or should I say my ex’s office or better yet, maybe I should add the word baby daddy in it too. 

I’m going crazy, I can feel it in my bones, I can feel it in the way my wolf growls inside me with a temper.  

Several questions rack my brain and they are all directed at the Goddess. 

Why now? Why would the Goddess bring him into my life when I’m happy, stronger and better off than when I was back in Moonstone City believing in naive things like fated mates and unbreakable mate bonds?
为什么是现在？为什么当我快乐、更强大、比回到月光石城时更快乐、更强大、更好时，女神会把他带入我的生活，我相信命中注定的伴侣和牢不可破的伴侣纽带等天真事物？

Getting into the elevator offers me some sort of relief that I’ve put enough distance between me and Deacon. Uttering his name in my mind when I haven’t done so for seven years, leaves a subtle burn in my chest. 

Getting out of the elevator however, makes the relief bubbling in my chest frizzle out. The minute I step out, several pairs of eyes land on me, all of them questioning why I was the first employee to be called to the boss’ office. All of them trying to connect the dots of whether me and the boss know each other. 

I hardly make it to my work station where Luka and Julie must be waiting for another scoop of gossip when Ashley and her minions block my path. 

She flicks her blonde hair from her face, her eyes scrutinizing me from head to toe. 

I dyed my blonde hair brown when I came to Bracken City and seeing Ashley’s hair reminds me that I’m better off as a brunette than a blonde. 

“I get that you are making hay while the sun shines but fraternizing with the boss when he has hardly settled in, is not a good look, Cavanaugh.” 

Her minions laugh beside her. Classic bullying maneuver. 

I shouldn’t engage her. Ashley is known as the meddling bitch in the company for a reason. 

But the surprise from seeing Deacon, the rage and shock coalescing in my blood like acquaintances, the kiss… Goddess, that kiss that shouldn’t have happened stirs up something ugly inside me. 

“Some of us have better things to do than ogle the new boss, Ashley. If you are scared I'll seduce the boss before you get the chance to do so, don’t worry, he’s all yours”, I end my words with a forced smile moving around Ashley and her friends. 

Murmurs, gasps and a few chuckles beckon me from behind but I don’t turn to stare at the surprise written in Ashley’s face, there are other pressing things on my mind than putting a co-worker in her place. 

As expected, Luka and Julie are waiting for me near my desk. Luka is seated on my desk with a curious brow on his face while Julie sits in my swivel chair pretending to go through my notebook. 

“Finally, someone put Ashley in her place and I’m glad it’s you, girl but… I’m just curious as everyone here. The boss called you specifically, is there any reason why he did so?” Luka asks.

I’m dying to get out of here. 

The walls I’ve built for seven years threaten to crumble and I have to ensure they don’t.
我建造了七年的墙壁有倒塌的危险，我必须确保它们不会倒塌。
我建造了七年的墙壁有倒塌的危险，我必须确保它们不会倒塌。

“Not that we are trying to meddle but everyone’s worried whether they’ll be keeping their jobs or not”, Julie adds, her brown eyes prying me for answers. 

I open my mouth, desperate to tell them that their new boss is worse than they ever imagined. 

If he’s anything like I remember, then he’ll betray them like he betrayed me. He’ll stab them in the back until they are nothing but shells barely hanging on to life.
如果他和我记得的一样，那么他会像背叛我一样背叛他们。他会在他们背后捅刀子，直到他们只剩下勉强维持生命的壳。
如果他和我记得的一样，那么他会像背叛我一样背叛他们。他会在他们背后捅刀子，直到他们只剩下勉强维持生命的壳。

But instead all I have to say is, “I have to go.” 

“What?” Julie enquires in surprise. 

“I have to go. I don't feel well. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?” 

I don’t think I’ll ever step foot in this company ever again. 

The guilt that lodges in my chest for keeping the truth from the friends who’ve stuck by me since I started working here follows me down the hallway, down the lift, all the way to the parking lot and inside my car. 

Once I get inside my car, sheer panic and a pinch of pain radiates in my chest bringing it with the dam of tears I couldn’t let Deacon Cross see. 

I don’t just let my tears fall. I set them free. All of them. 

‘We’ll leave and start over where he can’t find us this time around.’ 

.

My wolf whispers what I want to hear but I can also hear the little hesitation in her voice, like she doesn’t want to leave, like she believes our fates with Deacon are tied together even after everything he did to us. Her pain and sadness coupled with the bitterness we felt seven years ago draws out the memories of Deacon we’ve tried to bury.
我的狼低声说着我想听的话，但我也能听到她声音中的微微犹豫，就像她不想离开，就像她相信我们与 Deacon 的命运是紧密相连的，即使在他对我们所做的一切之后。她的痛苦和悲伤，加上我们七年前的痛苦，勾勒出我们试图埋葬的 Deacon 的回忆。
我的狼低声说着我想听的话，但我也能听到她声音中的微微犹豫，就像她不想离开，就像她相信我们与 Deacon 的命运是紧密相连的，即使在他对我们所做的一切之后。她的痛苦和悲伤，加上我们七年前的痛苦，勾勒出我们试图埋葬的 Deacon 的回忆。

I try to forget those memories, Goddess do I try but my wolf is hellbent on trying to prove that Deacon was good to us once upon a time. Fighting her proves difficult so I let her bring out the most precious memory we had with Deacon and I’m pulled back to that special night in the woods. 

When Deacon kissed me like he believed we would never be apart, that we were bound for eternity. 

When he held me in his arms, slamming inside me passionately like I was fragile glass he needed to protect from breaking. 

When his teeth left sweet bruises on my skin and I shamelessly asked for more. 

When the feeling of loving him compared to soaring in the skies and never wanting to touch the ground. 

And I can also remember the monumental moment when he rejected me and my babies in front of the pack and in front of his father. Just like that, like I was nothing to him. 

He came back for me? Well he’s seven years too late! 

He’ll never leave me? I'll do the leaving. 

Amidst the chaos swirling in my entire body, my trembling fingers reach the lips that are still throbbing from the kiss Deacon gave me in his office. 

I slapped him but that doesn’t erase the fact that he kissed me enough to bruise or the fact that the taste of his kiss, the touch of his lips, and the dominance in the way his hands held me in place were more intoxicating than any drink I’ve ever had. If he wasn’t holding me up in that office, I would have fallen over. My knees would have given in for him. Curse him! 

I don’t know how long I stay in that parking lot, debating whether I’m okay enough to drive home. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours and the only thing that breaks me from the spell is the sharp ringing of my phone somewhere in my purse.
我不知道我在那个停车场呆了多久，争论我是否还好可以开车回家。几秒钟变成了几分钟，几分钟变成了几个小时，唯一让我摆脱魔咒的是我钱包某处手机的尖锐铃声。
我不知道我在那个停车场呆了多久，争论我是否还好可以开车回家。几秒钟变成了几分钟，几分钟变成了几个小时，唯一让我摆脱魔咒的是我钱包某处手机的尖锐铃声。

Picking my phone and seeing Isabel’s name has me wiping my tears quickly. 

“Winter?” 

Isabel’s voice comes from the other end of the line. 

The sound of my kids laughing in the background somehow injects strength in my system. 

“Hey, Isabel. How was today?” 

“Apart from Asher asking about you while I drove us home, everything has been okay. Sorry to disturb you at work like this but the kids kinda want to know if you are coming home to make dinner tonight? Adrian and Asher made new friends today and they can’t wait to tell you all about it.” 

I smile knowing how my boys will be when I get home. 

“I can imagine their excitement. I’ll be home in thirty. Can you handle their chaos by then?” I joke. 

Isabel laughs,”I’ve handled their chaos since they were babies. I'll tell them the good news. And Winter?”

“Yes?” 

“Did something happen at work today? You don’t sound like yourself.” 

“I’m okay. See you in thirty.” 

I’m far from okay. 

xxx 

Isabel left fifteen minutes ago. 

I chop down the carrots, prepared for Adrian when he comes tugging at my skirt so I can look at him while he speaks. 

“And Devon and Abby said we can play with them at their house. They said they have a pool, mommy!” Adrian claps, I hold back a chuckle. 

“Is that right?” I ask incredulously.  

Asher comes to stand behind his brother with the same smile. 

“They said they know how to swim, mommy. Their daddy taught them, isn’t that cool?” 

Pinpricks spear my heart at the mention of ‘daddy’ knowing that my sons’ daddy is in the same city we are and sooner or later, my boys will meet him and I can’t let that happen. 

“So cool, baby.” 

How do I tell my babies we might leave this city in the next week?  

I can’t risk my babies getting rejected like I did.

“And… and Abby said their daddy can teach me and Asher to swim!” 

“Adrian”, I ruffle his hair. 

I’m not about to let some stranger teach my kids how to swim. 

“Don’t worry, mommy. Daddy won’t get jealous. He’ll watch over me and Asher from heaven.” 

Goddess, bless his little heart. 

Telling my babies their daddy was in heaven was the right call. I never thought I would see Deacon ever again or our lives would intertwine like this. Nor did I think I'd sacrifice the life I’d built for me and my family for Deacon. Again. 

Putting the knife down, I kneel on my kitchen floor to face my babies. 

“Abby and Devon, do you like them as your friends?” 

“Yes! They are cool. Can they come to play with us tomorrow after school?” 

I can’t do this to my children. I can’t flee the city. I just can’t start over. 

I don’t have enough money, no plan and moving would mean me searching for a new house and a new job.
我没有足够的钱，没有计划，搬家意味着我要找新房子和新工作。
我没有足够的钱，没有计划，搬家意味着我要找新房子和新工作。

‘Instead of leaving, we can stay, Winter. Maybe we can listen to what he has to say.’ 

My wolf advises  .

I’ll stay not because my wolf sounds like she wants us to give Deacon a chance but because the triple salary Deacon offered me would change my life and my boys’ lives. 

I’ll play along, I’ll take his offer and I’ll reject him every single step of the way till he takes the hint and goes back to wherever he came from. 

I’ll never let Deacon find out about my sons. 

And this time around, I’m not falling for his words like a naive eighteen year old with a childish crush on him. 

CHAPTER EIGHT 

DEACON
执事

Glancing outside the panoramic window of my penthouse to the city that stretches for miles and miles brings some sort of peace to my body. 

While Bracken City offers what most people search for outside the confines of their packs, this metropolis is nowhere close to home. Nowhere close to how it feels like being an Alpha and being in control. 

Moonstone was my turf but Bracken? This city is Winter’s turf and she didn’t hesitate to show me how. 

She put me in my place. As she should have. 

Did the slap sting? It sure as fuck did. I can still feel it a few hours later. Can still feel those pretty fingers of hers and that immaculately soft palm of hers connect with my cheek in rage.
那一巴掌刺痛了吗？确实，就像他妈的一样。几个小时后我仍然能感觉到它。仍然能感觉到她那双漂亮的手指和她那完美无瑕的柔软手掌在愤怒中与我的脸颊相连。
那一巴掌刺痛了吗？确实，就像他妈的一样。几个小时后我仍然能感觉到它。仍然能感觉到她那双漂亮的手指和她那完美无瑕的柔软手掌在愤怒中与我的脸颊相连。

The man inside of me who is head over heels in love with her, smiles. She might have tried to wipe away my kiss from her lips but at least she slapped me. That meant I got under her skin, that meant she feels something for me even if that something revolves around the word ‘hate’. I’ll take that instead of her ignoring I’m in her life again. 

The man who kissed her and watched her dismiss it as nothing, feels a little slice of pain cutting his chest. 

Taking my eyes off the city lights, I swirl the drink in my glass watching the ice cubes clink against each other. My other hand, which has an Ipad resting on it, presses play on the video I got from the company’s surveillance footage. 

Like a stalker, I watch the cameras show me every move my mate made when she stepped out of my office. 

I watch as she steps out of my office with a calm and collected demeanor and that has the alcohol burning my throat fiercely. 

The kiss didn’t affect you, baby but I’ve been thinking about it every second since you left my office. 

I continue watching the footage, from her getting inside the lift to her getting out of it only to wind up being ambushed by her co-workers. Winter handles the three women like a pro and I’m almost proud of her were it not for the fact she used the ‘he’s all yours’ line to get them to back off.

I’m not just anyone’s. I’m hers. 

She’ll understand that soon enough. 

The footage continues to show Winter as she gets in her car, slams the door and sits in the driver’s seat for hours. I can’t make out her face pretty clearly but the minute she lays her head against the steering wheel seemingly falling asleep, I watch her through the screen wishing we weren’t separated like this. Wishing I would be there to give her a shoulder to sleep on and assure her we will never be separated again. 

I can almost see her lips in my head, moving as her chest puffs and huffs while she snores. I can see her luscious lips, looking delectable against the lighting in the dingy parking lot. I can see and feel so much and yet I’m far away from her than I’d like and that only fuels the urge to be with her again. I have to get her back or I’ll lose my mind. 

I toss the Ipad to the nearest couch before I finish my drink. I barely make it to the mini-bar for a refill when the sound of my doorbell buzzes and cuts the silence into two. I don’t move to open the door because the person knocking knows he’s allowed to show himself in. 

His shaggy dark-brown hair is the first thing that comes to sight, followed by that tight-lipped smile he likes to give me when he thinks he’ll get into trouble. Martin, is the newest addition to my pack. A beta who’s come in handy more times than i can count and he’s barely twenty five years old.
他蓬松的深棕色头发是第一个映入眼帘的东西，然后是当他认为自己会惹上麻烦时喜欢对我露出的紧闭的嘴唇微笑。Martin，是我团队中的最新成员。一个派上用场的测试版，次数多得数不清，而且他才 25 岁。

“I got everything you asked for about Ms. Winter, Alpha. I thought about including her address in the file but you said-” 

I cut him off, urging him to sit down, “I said I didn’t want to know her address.” 

Sitting down and getting comfortable, Martin levels me with curiosity before he hands me the file that contains everything about Winter since she left home. 

I open the file and the first page contains a picture of her. Pretty, smiling, older, my mate stares back at me. 

“Can I ask the reason why, Alpha? You recruited me to search for her and I’ve searched for her for more than five years. Why not get her home address? Would it not be easier to show up at her home and speak to her face to face?” 

I chuckle, flicking my eyes through every tidbit of information written in the file about Winter. She worked a few jobs when she came to Bracken city. She was a dishwasher, a waitress at some shitty bar in downtown Bracken before she landed the assistant job almost two years later. 

“Did you know Winter when she lived back in Moonstone?” I ask. 

“Not personally, no. I was eighteen when her family died. I heard a few rumors about her.” 

The same rumors that I couldn’t protect her from once upon a time. The same rumors about her that I have tried to eliminate since I became an Alpha.

“She was kind, too curious for her own good and most importantly the Winter from seven years ago, loved me more than anything. The Winter Cavanaugh in this file however, has endured shit because of me, she’s become tough because she had to and trust me when I say if I show up on her doorstep, she will punch me in the face for stalking her, quit her job forever and disappear so I can’t find her. I can’t risk that, Martin.” 

Martin looks at me and he doesn’t hold back his words when he says,”What if she runs again, Alpha? What then?” 

There’s a possibility of Winter trying to run so she can avoid me, I know. 

There’s also the possibility of her rejecting my offer.  

But the Winter Cavanaugh who I kissed in that office is a fighter and more than that, she hates me, she would never give me the satisfaction of winning which is why I know Winter’s not going anywhere. I can bet my money and go ahead and say she’ll take my offer. 

“She won’t run. Her pride and her hate for me, won’t let her run.” 

Martin only nods at my words 

On the rare occasion my mate decides to run in the future,I’ll have to increase her tripled salary to a substantial amount that would be too attractive for her not to reject. If that fails to work too then I’ll have to resort to measures like putting a tracker on her to make sure I don’t lose her again.  

I sit there for almost an hour, learning new things about my mate every single second. 

“That’s all I could gather from people around the office that seem to know her and from a few pictures in the system. There could be a few things I missed about her so I’ll keep looking.” 

I reach the end of the file, taking out every picture of Winter that was inside. 

Like the kid can somehow read my mind on the most important thing I want to learn about Winter, he goes ahead to add, ”She has not been dating anyone since she left Moonstone City, Alpha.” 

I hiss out a breath of relief. The fact that she remained single only strengthens my resolve to win her back. 

“Good because if she was dating anyone, I would have to either ship him off to another city or chop his hands off for touching what’s mine.” 

My wolf agrees on the latter and I definitely have no qualms about it. When it comes to Winter, killing is not beneath me. 

“Of course, Alpha”, Martin fires back but apart from the tremble in his voice, the poker face on the kid has me questioning whatever he’s keeping from me. Especially if it concerns Winter.
“当然，Alpha”，Martin 回击，但除了他声音中的颤抖之外，这个孩子身上的扑克脸让我质疑他对我隐瞒的一切。特别是如果它与 Winter 有关。

“Anything else I need to know about Winter that you haven’t told me?” 

I can practically smell the sweat rolling down his back, can almost hear the hesitation biting his throat and the fear that comes with opening his mouth. 

“I heard a rumor so I might not be too sure if it’s correct or-” 

“What rumor?” I grit my teeth, almost feeling my molars grind in my mouth from the impatience. 

“Apparently, Alpha Kieran Vega, CEO of Vega Industries, the rival company of Bracken Holdings, has been seen flirting with Winter everytime he comes to visit the company. He likes her. This flirting thing has been going on for two years between them and from what I gathered, Winter might like him too.”

CHAPTER NINE 

WINTER
冬

Five years I have worked for Bracken Holdings and yet in all those five years never have I dreaded coming to work than I do today. 

Yesterday’s stunt with Ashley raised a lot of rumors. I let some of the rumors roll off my back. People talk when they’ve got nothing to do and when you give them time, they forget about you. At least that’s what I tell myself when I walk to the office. 

However, that ‘people talk and they’ll stop when they get tired’ mantra I’ve been chanting in my car on my way here, flies out the window the minute someone whispers, “ The new boss demanded that Winter be his new assistant. Guess we all know why she went to see him yesterday.” 

It doesn’t fly past me at what they are hinting at. To the naked eye, the new boss wanting me as his assistant right after I paid him a visit only spells one thing; I slept with the boss. And how wrong they are if they think I’d stoop too low for a man like Deacon. 

“How are you feeling today?” Julie hands me a cup of coffee as soon as I get to my desk and I almost want to hug her for the sentiment. 

“You mean how am I feeling when hideous rumors about me are flying around faster than I can stop them?” I quip dryly, sipping the goodness from inside the paper cup. 

On a day like this, I’ll need stronger coffee. Maybe two more cups of coffee to make me numb to this nightmare of a day. 

“Everyone is in a tizzy like I said, if you give-” 

Julie’s words are cut off by Luka, who appears in a grey tailored suit with the same gelled back hairstyle he never seems to give up. 

“Everyone is in more than a tizzy, Julie. Let’s be honest, our friend here has a lot of explaining to do, starting with how she keeps attracting Alphas like bees to honey. She’s caught the attention of two Alphas so far and everyone in here might pretend like that’s normal but why we both know it isn’t.” 

Luka Graves has always been straightforward and blunt. Those two qualities are some of the best things I admired about him yet I despise those qualities right now because I know he won’t let this go without getting answers. 

Plus,I know among the two alphas he’s speaking about, one of them is Deacon and the other is Alpha Kieran Vega and I would argue that I didn't necessarily attract Alpha Kieran Vega’s attention on purpose.  

Alpha Kieran who was and still is the CEO of Vega Industries bumped into me just outside the elevator and had made me spill coffee all over my most expensive blouse. With an easy and a genuine smile, Alpha Kieran had offered to buy me a new shirt but I had declined his offer and said I was fine. He’d asked me out to lunch on the same day and I had said ‘no’ and in the next two years, everytime he showed up here, he would call me ‘sweetheart’, ask me out and I would give him the same answer every time. I’m not interested. It was a running joke between us, nothing more. 

To Luka’s insinuation, I decide to play dumb. 

“What?” 

“Don’t ‘what’ me, Winter. First, that brooding Alpha from Vega industries who only comes here to see you and now the new boss? I need you to spill the truth to us, girl. Why does the boss want you as his assistant?” 

The words that come out from my lips sound like lies even to my own ears,”I work harder than anyone in this office. The manager of the finance department didn’t see my potential but the boss went through my resume and decided to give me the promotion I deserve so no, Luka, the boss isn’t attracted to me.” 

Silence cuts between us with me waiting for Luka to buy my lie and Luka gazing at me like he doesn’t believe my bluff. 

The whole awkwardness is split into two when the telephone on my desk rings.

I pick up the phone, holding it against my ear. 

“Bracken Holdings. How might I be of service-” 

“Ms. Cavanaugh”, deep and husky, Deacon’s voice makes every nerve inside me char like burnt wood. 

We might not be face to face but Goddess I can feel his voice wash over me and seep inside my body like hot lava. I can also feel the excitement buzzing from my wolf just from the sound of his voice alone and I refuse to share the same feeling. 

“How can I help you, Sir?” 

I keep the vitriol in my voice to a minimum even though I very much want to cuss at him for the odd change of things. 

Never in my life did I think I'd be in such a situation yet here we are. Me at his beck and call and him as the boss of the very company I've put my blood and sweat into.
在我的一生中，我从来没有想过我会处于这样的境地，而我们现在却在这里。我听从他的吩咐和召唤，他是我付出了血汗的公司的老板。
在我的一生中，我从来没有想过我会处于这样的境地，而我们现在却在这里。我听从他的吩咐和召唤，他是我付出了血汗的公司的老板。

“Come to my office, Winter.” 

My heart pulses in my throat at the way he samples my name in his mouth. Like it’s something he’s been dying to say. 

“And if I don’t want to, Sir?” 

Defiance licks my voice. I want the money, I’m taking his offer but I’m not going to be obeying him the way he expects me to. 

Luka and Julie have somehow started engaging in their own conversation, too caught up in themselves to listen in on my phone call. 

“I didn’t phrase it as a question, Ms. Cavanaugh. Come to my office or I will come get you myself.” 

Fuck his tone but I can’t necessarily tell him that if I’m going to accept his offer. The threat in his voice is clear too. I go up to his office or he comes down to get me and with the rumors still going around, the last thing I need is to add more fire to them. 

Swallowing my pride and digging a hole in my heart to bury the rage coursing through my veins, I excuse myself from my friends, with Luka telling me our conversation isn’t done. 

As much as I wanted to avoid Luka’s conversation, I would pick it any day rather than this. 

The lift up to Deacon’s office is nothing short of hives breaking on my skin and my palms getting sweatier than usual. I watch the numbers on the lift ascend and each time those numbers near his top floor, so does my frantic heartbeat skyrocket. 

The perks of being a boss is, unlike us employees, the boss gets a whole floor to himself that consists of his office, his secretary’s workstation and a boardroom for meetings and presentations. While some of us suffocate in the stifling air we share with our co-workers, men like Deacon Cross get the luxury of fresh air and the best view money can offer. 

When Mr. Wilfred owned this floor, I didn't even care if he existed but knowing Deacon Cross owns all of this makes me mad and jealous than I've ever been in my entire life. 

Why does he get the soft life? Why does he get to live like a rich bachelor while I’ve struggled for seven years of my life to make ends meet? 

My thoughts are severed when the ding of the elevator announces I’ve reached the top floor. 

It takes about fourteen steps to get to his office and another dose of courage to knock on the door. 

“Come in”, Deacon’s voice vibrates from the other side of the door and I obey his command. 

The boss stands by the floor-to-ceiling window of his office, the city sprawling beneath him like a concrete and glass tapestry and as beautiful as the city looks from up here, my eyes flick through the muscles that threaten to rip his well tailored suit all the way to the back of his head, where his neatly cut dark hair lies. 

He’s always been a handsome son of a gun and the years we’ve been apart only prove that assertion. 

“I’m assuming you showing up to the office today means you’ve taken my offer?”
“我猜你今天来办公室意味着你已经接受了我的提议？”
“我猜你今天来办公室意味着你已经接受了我的提议？”

I’m about to answer him but Deacon turns around, his eyes chasing mine in a way that should be deemed criminal.  

“Last I checked, you gave me forty eight hours to make my decision so I still have time to think about your offer, Mr. Cross.” 

My words seem to have no effect on him because he moves around his desk walking towards me and with every step, I can feel my wolf begging me to at least ask him questions, to at least hear him out and let him in. I don't listen to her as I take one step back.

“Delaying the inevitable doesn’t change the fact that my offer is the best one you’ve got.” 

“Yeah? Then why does it seem like you are the one who’s desperate to get me as your assistant instead of the other way around, Sir?” I ask. 

He doesn’t have to move for me to smell his musky cologne in the air. 

It’s everywhere, it’s on my clothes, it’s in my nostrils, it’s the only other thing that makes my body heat apart from his lingering eyes. 

“I never sugarcoated anything, baby. I’m here to win you back and if this is what I have to stoop to, so that I can get you back then so be it.” 

My knees nearly go weak when he calls me baby but the incredulous laugh that bubbles from inside me comes from a place of pain,”We were done the day you rejected me, Mr. Cross and I’m afraid your money won’t be able to fix that..”

Something akin to pain flashes in his eyes but he masks it within seconds. 

“Yes or no, Winter?” 

He knows my answer but he wants me to say it and I do it because I refuse to back down when this is my city, my job, my new life. 

“Yes. I accept your offer, Mr. Cross.” 

xxx 

My first official hours as Deacon’s personal assistant have me seated next to him as the CFO and the board members drone on about quarterly projections and profit margins. The boardroom air is thick with the sterile scent of polished wood and stale coffee while the hum of the city down below coalesces with the voices inside. 

My job is to write down the notes and minutes while listening to what the CFO is talking about. A job I would normally do in my sleep but has proven difficult since I sat next to Deacon. 

I have felt the weight of his eyes on me the entire time the meeting has been going on. He starts on my face, lingering on my lips before he traces the pulse hammering against my throat and in the madness of it all, I can almost feel his physical touch on my skin; rough, greedy and possessive. 

The bastard doesn’t even try to hide it as his eyes graze the cleavage peeking from my dress. The action itself feels like he’s stripping me of my clothes one by one and I can’t do anything about it other than try to close my thighs and pray to the Goddess that the meeting ends so I can run to the nearest washroom and catch a breath. Possibly maybe even try to soothe the throbbing ache between my legs. 

“What do you think, boss?” One of the board members asks or I think it’s the CFO’s voice, I can’t even tell anymore. 

I don’t look at Deacon as he opens his mouth to speak,”The contingency we’ll use to make sure we don’t face the same risks Wilfred put the company through, are not entirely clear. Elaborate more on that.” 

Deacon’s request sets the meeting running for another hour and this time he not only stares at me but his leg brushes mine on purpose no matter how much I try to avoid him under the table.

Almost three hours later, I watch as everyone trickles out of the boardroom and I stand up ready to leave this room, this building and reach the confines of my home within thirty minutes but that turns out to be wishful thinking. 

“Where do you think you are going, Ms. Cavanugh?” Deacon’s question has me confused.
“你觉得你要去哪里，卡瓦努女士？”迪肯的问题让我感到困惑。

It’s almost six in the evening, everyone has left. Correction, every employee leaves the office at six and seven at the latest. 

“I thought we were done here, Sir.” 

I ask the question while facing him and I don’t miss the mischief written in his dark, heavy lidded eyes. 

“There’s more work to be done other than jotting down minutes for one measly board meeting, Ms. Cavanaugh. Unless you have a date waiting for you somewhere?” 

He’s going to keep me here till midnight, I know it. 

I also read the insinuation under his words and how easy would it be to tell him I want to rush home to see my babies because they are waiting for me and not because I have a date? 

“I don’t think my personal life is any of your business, Mr. Cross. What else do you need me to do before I leave?” 

CHAPTER TEN 

DEACON
执事

If there was one quality that Jake hated about his sister, it was her stubbornness. Seven years later and Winter wears that stubbornness like a suit of armor she won’t let me get past. Our first day working together and she has proven to be a tough nut to crack. The entire day I've forced her to be with me, she’s hardly let her guard down let alone let me in. I’m starting to think that I can’t put a dent on those walls she’s built so high to keep me out. 

Her work station being in my office means we are seated in the same room but not once has she flicked her gaze at me. Since the meeting with the CFO ended a few hours ago, I’ve tried engaging her in conversation but my mate has done nothing but shut me out since I told her she wasn’t done for the day. 

Citylights from the world outside penetrate past my windows but there’s nothing that beats the view of the moon’s light falling on Winter’s desk and by extension falling on her too. Sounds of the aircon and the bustling drivers from down below distantly reach us but all I can listen to is the sound of her breathing as she yet again grows frustrated at the situation. 

My wolf’s impatience flays me raw from the inside. I can taste his wounded ego so sour in my mouth and although his primal instincts revolve around getting Winter to want us back and possibly kiss her again, I try to get Winter’s attention another way. 

Dragging my eyes on her again, I drink in the sharp features of her face all including her high cheekbones that are dusted with a pink blush. I drink in the way her brows furrow as she goes over the quarterly reports, how her lips curl and she worries her bottom lip into her mouth because she doesn’t seem to understand anything on the sheet of paper she’s holding and most importantly, how those long toned legs would look great against my face as I ate her core out.

Goddess, have I missed the taste of what’s between her legs. My memory is still fresh when it comes to Winter and so is the memory of how addicting she tastes like and how pretty she looks when she’s coming from my fingers alone. 

Looking at her now and going back to that night, one thought festers in my mind. I should have marked her. I should have claimed ownership of her that night. Marking her would have meant me sinking my fangs into her neck and being one with her. That sort of thing would have also required Winter to become less anxious and mentally prepared otherwise if she wasn’t, there were the chances of her bleeding out or experiencing pain more than she should have. Looking back now, I should have left my mark which would have presented itself as a tattoo pattern on her neck. 

Maybe we wouldn’t be here if I had done so. Maybe rejecting her but still putting my mark on her neck would have assured her I wanted her to be mine but circumstances forced me not to keep her. 

Testing the waters,the need to know why she’s been checking the watch on her wrist for close to ten minutes now, I break the silence that has stretched on between us hoping my thoughts about her having a date have no roots.  

“You seem upset, Ms. Cavanaugh. Is something the matter?”
“你看起来很不高兴，卡瓦诺女士。有什么事吗？

Winter’s answer to my question is a steely blank stare directed at me. One that would melt even the strongest of icicles to mere puddles.

“I don’t know, Mr. Cross. Why don’t you tell me? Are you keeping me here to punish me? I’ve reviewed these reports thrice, counter checked them twice too and I still can’t find the problem.” 

Listening to her call me ‘Mr. Cross’ feels like I’m trying to chew rusty nails down my throat every fucking time; and she won’t find the problem because there’s no problem in those financial reports in the first place. I said I would resort to anything to get her back and this is but a tip of the iceberg. 

“You can be out of here in minutes if you give me what I want, Winter. One question, baby. Give me the answer to my question and you can leave.” 

She’s dodged the one question that’s racking my mind like an itch and I can’t help but feel pissed off about it every ticking minute. I blame it on Martin. Ever since he mentioned another Alpha being in Winter’s life, I’ve all but gone crazy. Thoughts of Winter and another alpha together or flirting or dating have been making me see red all day. 

Winter piles up the reports neatly against her desk before she picks her purse, stands up and says, “If that’s all you needed, then I'll be on my way, Mr. Cross.” 

The minute she makes a beeline for the door, my feet are already hoisting me up and one minute I’m behind my desk, watching her, instead of focusing on work and the next minute, I’m standing right behind her, my hand above her head, my gaze on her and my entire body caging her from the back. 

Jealousy and possessiveness clench my heart in a vice grip and words fly from my mouth faster than I stop them, “Do you call him Sir? Or do you call him by his first name?” 

Her shoulders stiffen and I watch the action itself without backing down. 

“Is he waiting for you to get home right as we speak, Winter? Is that the reason you’ve been itching to get away from me all night?” 

Silence. 

Winter gives me nothing but the silent treatment and in that silence, is confusion and disbelief written in her pretty features. As if what I just said wounds her and shocks her at the same time. For me I take her silence as my answer. I might have been right about her having a date, I might have also been right in assuming there’s a guy, more specifically Kieran Vega waiting for her somewhere. . 

I can hear the little spurts of air that erupt from her nostrils, I can almost see her eyes without standing in front of her and this is the most torturous thing I’ve had to endure.  

To ask my mate whether she’s seeing another man, whether she moved on from me, when the truth of the matter is my insides feel like they are being chopped to pieces by a serrated blade from anticipating her answer. 

Putting my foot in my own mouth, i lean closer, my lips almost touching the shell of her ear, “Does Kieran Vega know you were mine first and you are still mine when he fucked you?” 

“Fuck you, Deacon”,the hitch in her breathing and the sound of her voice cracking as she speaks tells me I went too far. 

Winter pushes the double-edged doors with enough might to bring the building down. By the time my mind registers I just ruined our work relationship before it even began, Winter is already running down the hall that leads to the only lift on this floor. 

I give her a head start, I watch her do the exact same thing she did years ago and I couldn't stop her but this time round? I run after my mate. I choose her. I’ll always choose her. 

The elevator doors part in time for Winter to get in. Once she’s inside, Winter raises her head and our eyes meet and I can't forget the look written on her face.

Like she didn’t expect me to run after her. Like she’s already decided that I’m the asshole who’ll never run after her no matter what. 

Our eyes colliding, my feet moving faster than those doors close, my little mate taps the button at least thrice so she can lock herself inside and lock me out. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for me, I shoulder my way inside the metal contraption before the doors shut and lock us both inside. 

“Winter-” 

“No. Just no, Deacon! You rejected me and I left. Was that not enough for you? Was me losing my family and losing you all in the same shitty month not enough satisfaction for you?”

Her eyes burn aflame, those green shards of eyes she has being an inch away from spilling a bout of tears as she points an accusatory finger at me. 

Static only filters through my ears as I sample her words. 

“Satisfaction? For Goddess' sake, Jacob was my best friend too, Winter. Your family was like my-” 

Winter cuts me off like a woman scorned,”My family was never your family, Deacon. Jake was never your fucking best friend if you couldn’t even be man enough to stop your father’s lies and avenge his death years ago.” 

How wrong she is and I couldn’t even begin to tell her by just how much. 

Not backing down, refusing to let me have a word in because she’s hurt and tired all together, Winter continues talking and every word is laced with as much acid as she can summon. 

“Which is why you do not get the right to come here and pretend like you own me. You don’t get the right to ask who i’m fucking or who I’m not fucking because i am not yours and you are not mine. Whether it’s Alpha Kieran or someone else, you lost all the right to me a long time ago, Deacon.”
“这就是为什么你没有权利来这里假装你拥有我。你没有权利问我他妈的是谁，或者我他妈的不是谁，因为我不是你的，你也不是我的。无论是Alpha Kieran还是其他人，你很久以前就失去了我的所有权利，Deacon。

The only assurance I have here is that this lift provides me all the room to corner her without her running off, and without anyone interfering with us. 

I eat away the distance between us and Winter steels herself against the steel wall ready for me. 

“A long time ago you reminded me of one thing, Winter. That we are fated. That, come what may this pull between us would never cease to exist.”
“很久以前，你让我想起了一件事，冬天。我们是命中注定的。那，无论我们之间的这种拉扯如何，都不会停止存在。
“很久以前，你让我想起了一件事，冬天。我们是命中注定的。那，无论我们之间的这种拉扯如何，都不会停止存在。

Her eyes pool with tears but with her tough as nails exterior and the ire she has for me, she doesn’t let those tears fall. She would rather jump off a building than let me see her cry. And I don't know whether to clap at her strength or to be offended by the fact that she’ll never allow herself to be vulnerable towards me ever again. 

“The girl who told you that was young, dumb and naive. She should have seen your betrayal from a mile away. You didn’t acknowledge me as your Luna in front of the pack because I was the same girl who would have opened her legs for you anytime because I had a crush on you. You were never going to admit I was your Luna nor were you ever going to mark me and I should have seen it coming, Deacon. Goddess, was i stupid.”

My ears peak at the word ‘mark’. She thinks I didn't mark her because I wasn't planning to make her my Luna after I took her virginity? She was eighteen, she had just had her wolf, I had just made her bleed on my cock and I thought that marking her would come at another time. I thought we had time to explore our bond and get to the marking when she was at least comfortable to be fully mine. I had been wrong about that though.  

Plus I might have been an asshole back then but even with that, I wouldn’t have marked her and increased her pain all in the same night. I couldn’t have handled seeing my mate in that much pain no matter what me and my wolf wanted. 

“Is that what it’ll take Winter? My mark? Because I'll mark you right here right now if you want, baby. I’ll put my mark on that graceful little neck so that men like Kieran Vega understand you are not up for grabs. I didn’t mark you then because you’d just bled for me but you are stronger now. Say the word, Winter.”
“这就是冬天需要的吗？我的标记？因为如果你愿意，我现在就在这里给你做标记，宝贝。我会在那优雅的小脖子上做标记，这样像Kieran Vega这样的男人就会明白你不是可以被抓住的。那时我没有标记你，因为你刚刚为我流血，但你现在更强大了。说出这个词，Winter。
“这就是冬天需要的吗？我的标记？因为如果你愿意，我现在就在这里给你做标记，宝贝。我会在那优雅的小脖子上做标记，这样像Kieran Vega这样的男人就会明白你不是可以被抓住的。那时我没有标记你，因为你刚刚为我流血，但你现在更强大了。说出这个词，Winter。

I corner her,caging my arms against her and the wall. Winter opens her mouth, her hands slapping my chest ready to push me away but we are both startled by the red light that flicks inside the lift. I’ve seen enough elevator malfunctions to know what comes next. 

One minute later and stark darkness fills the whole lift.  

One second in the darkness and Winter shrieks. 

CHAPTER ELEVEN 

WINTER
冬

This is all his fault. 

This would have never happened if he let me walk out of here when everyone did. 

He kept me here. 

He made some shocking accusations that riled me up and caused me to react when I said I wouldn’t bat an eyelid to anything he did today. 

And now, we are trapped in an elevator with both our phones having no signal service to call for help.

A streak of white hot fear blazes across my face as I try to make out everything in front of me only to fail disastrously at it. I can’t see a thing. Pitch darkness surrounds us and eats us up without mercy and I can't move because I’m afraid if I do so, the lift might give in to mine and Deacon’s weight and drop us. 

I can’t die like this. I can’t die trapped within four solid walls of steel with him no less. I can’t leave Asher and Adrian without… without telling them how much I love them. I'm not yet ready to leave them in the first place! 

Deacon’s hand cups my cheek in the darkness and I grab the lapel of his jacket as if I need a tether to prevent me from plunging to death. Whether I like it or not, his scent and the feel of his touch on my skin is the only thing that makes sense right now and without it, I don't think I'm going to survive being locked in a lift that’s probably dangling above thirty floors from the ground.
迪肯的手在黑暗中捂住我的脸颊，我抓住他夹克的翻领，仿佛我需要一根绳子来防止我坠落而死。不管我喜不喜欢，他的气味和他触碰我皮肤的感觉是现在唯一有意义的东西，没有它，我认为我无法被锁在离地面三十多层楼高的电梯里活下来。
迪肯的手在黑暗中捂住我的脸颊，我抓住他夹克的翻领，仿佛我需要一根绳子来防止我坠落而死。不管我喜不喜欢，他的气味和他触碰我皮肤的感觉是现在唯一有意义的东西，没有它，我认为我无法被锁在离地面三十多层楼高的电梯里活下来。

“Breathe, baby. I need you to take a breath for me. In. Out.” 

I hate this. 

I hate him. 

And I pay heed to his words like I'm his dainty loyal omega and he’s my alpha. Almost like deja vu. 

One gulp of fresh air through my nostrils and all the way to my lungs feels like I’m inhaling liquid fire. It burns and it fails to take the uneasiness away. 

“Turn”, my voice cracks and I swallow past the feel of nausea, dizziness and crippling fear before I correct myself,”Turn the lights…on. Please.” 

His hand slides down from my cheek to the column of my neck and I would be lying if I said the feel of his thumb applying pressure to my throbbing pulse isn’t doing a thing in calming my frayed nerves. 

Like a damsel in distress who needs saving, I lean into his palm all the more, needing him more than I can admit. 

“Wish i could do just that, Winter but the lights will be back anytime now. Give it a few seconds.” 

I can’t survive a few seconds here. 

My wolf is panicking so much that I can feel her rioting inside my head. We’ve never been able to handle enclosed spaces for too long.
我的狼非常恐慌，我能感觉到她在我的脑海里暴动。我们从来没有处理过封闭的空间太久了。

Did I use this same lift to come and leave the office for all the years I've worked here? Yes but that was different from this.  

Being trapped here inside this lift without it moving, reminds me of how my family died. I’m trapped the same way my parents and Jake were caged in our burning house with no way of saving themselves and the reminder of how they died makes my body leap into panic. 

“Winter, hey? Stay with me, baby”, Deacon begs. 

I bite my bottom lip in my mouth venting out my fear and anger on him, ”Don’t call me baby. Not right now, Deacon Cross.” 

His other hand moves to my right arm and he caresses me, never leaving me to die in the darkness alone. 

“You hate me calling you, baby when we are mates?” 

My heart pulses in my mouth. This is how I die, isn’t it? 

“This is all your fault. You… did this!” 

You self-entitled prick of an Alpha. 

“I did.” Deacon takes the blame more easily than I'd expect him to and that only fuels my wrath. The wrath that’s coated with nothing more than terror. 

“You should have let me leave. I wouldn’t be in this…this darkness if it wasn’t for you.” 

I wouldn’t be too far away from my babies if he didn’t make me work overtime. And all for what? Some fucking reports that didn’t even make sense? 

“Keep talking, Winter. Focus on me, you got that? I want your thoughts on me and not on the darkness, baby.” 

Reaching out for his chest and grazing the rippling muscles underneath his shirt, my body moves on its own accord to Deacon and soon enough, I’m hugging him. 

“I hate you. .” 

Patting my head and acting like I said nothing, Deacon’s hand comes falling on the back of my head And he hugs me so tight like he knows I’ll break if he doesn’t catch me. 

“Hate me as much as you will, Winter because I’ll love you enough for both of us”, he says that in a voice like nightshade, one that’s cloaked with determination and certainty and how wrong he is if he thinks me hugging him in a moment of weakness means i’m accepting him and his so called love.

The Goddess, who's been watching me on the precipice of a breakdown, somehow remembers us when a beeping sound bounces off the walls and light fills the space we are in, blinding us temporarily. I lift my cheek from Deacon’s chest as if mere contact with him will burn my skin off. 

Lifting my head to look up at the numbers on the elevator nearly paralyzes me. The numbers are not moving. The lift is not moving. 

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

My lungs clench and Deacon’s concerned eyes do nothing in assuring me things are going to be okay. 

“The lights are back, meaning things are okay but why isn’t the lift moving?” 

“It doesn’t work like that”, Deacon tries to explain. 

“I can’t breathe, Deacon. I can’t stay here one more minute or else I’ll die before anyone notices we are trapped in here. We’ll die here. We’ll run out of air or the lift could snap and we would fall to our deaths. I would never get to see…”, I restrain my words with a harsh bite. 

Rubbing my chest only makes breathing more difficult and I can almost feel my panic attack winning

“Fuck, Winter. I’m right here. No one’s dying because I’m here with you. Look at me”, Deacon’s voice hogs my ears and it’s almost sounds like a saving grace

I look at him. I look at those dark onyx eyes that are all concerned about me, all lasered on me and my wolf chooses to seek solace in him rather than face this nightmare. 

Unlike the naive girl who kissed him like she believed the world was theirs and they were but star crossed lovers blessed the Goddess, the woman who kisses him now does so because she’s scared and he’s the only thing that feels safe. 

One kiss on Deacon’s lps turns out to be both a nightmare and a curse. 

Electricity coils in every cell in my body and I’m transported back to his office when he kissed me and I pulled away. I’m transported to that night in the woods when our mate bond first burnt between us and it doesn’t compare to the way it lits up aflame when Deacon snags my waist with one hand pulling me to his body while the other hand fists my hair deepening the kiss. 

His lips pry mine open and in no time, our teeths clash, our tongues fight like tortured lovers learning their way back to each other. I tell myself I should stop this but stopping this means facing my nightmare, means pretending that I don’t feel the shock and warmth that pools between my legs threatening to throw me off the edge of a cliff from a single touch.
他的嘴唇撬开了我的嘴唇，很快，我们的牙齿相撞，我们的舌头打架，就像受折磨的恋人一样，学习着回到彼此身边的方法。我告诉自己我应该停止这一切，但停止这一切意味着面对我的噩梦，意味着我假装没有感受到两腿之间积聚的震惊和温暖，这些震惊和温暖有可能因为我的一次触摸就把我从悬崖边扔下来。

The sound of our lips clashing almost rivals my moans as I scratch Deacon’s chest with my nails praying to the Goddess that I leave marks beneath that shirt he’s wearing. I might like this but I might just hurt him to show him this is nothing but a spur of the moment type of thing. 

The boy who made love to me a few years ago is nothing like the man who fists my hair and nips the skin at my neck going all the way down to my blouse and ripping the buttons away with his teeth. The buttons clatter against the ground, my blouse rips open at the front, the sight of my pink bra reflecting in Deacon’s eyes like two shiny beacons. 

Deacon doesn’t speak when he buries his face between my breasts. I don’t expect him to speak because I know if he does, the spell between us will be broken and the lust brought by the bond between us will shatter and remind me I’m weak for letting him in. 

He takes off my coat and blouse and I let him. 

His teeth tug at my already swollen nipples, the pain and the pleasure of it all sending my hands to rest against one of the steel walls and I let him. 

His tongue sucks the throbbing in my nipples and all I can anticipate is the feel of his mouth on my pulsing clit. 

This is what happens when you remain untouched for years. The pleasure takes hold of you and once you are all in, there’s no escape. 

There’s no escape for me as Deacon kneels on the floor of the lift, hiking my skirt up till it bunches around my waist and kissing my pussy through my already drenched panties. 

There's no escape for me as his fingers deftly pull my lacy pair of undies down my legs and a second later, with my hands against the wall and my feet off the ground, my thighs are on Deacon’s shoulders with his face buried between my inner thighs. 

“This greedy, whiny cunt still smells like mine, Winter. Mine to taste, fuck and fill with my come, yes?” 

Goddess. No. No he’s not right. I’m not his. I’ll never be his again. 

His tongue dives inside me and my toes curl. Deacon’s name flies out of my lips with a pant before I add, “Yes.” 

The first orgasm hits me like a freight train. Stars narrow my vision and Deacon eats me out while I ride that orgasm that feels like I'm chasing a high.
第一次高潮像货运火车一样击中了我。星星缩小了我的视野，狄肯吃掉了我，而我则享受着那种感觉就像在追逐高潮的性高潮。
第一次高潮像货运火车一样击中了我。星星缩小了我的视野，狄肯吃掉了我，而我则享受着那种感觉就像在追逐高潮的性高潮。

Not allowing me a moment to overthink or figure out where we are still locked at, my second orgasm comes in the form of me riding Deacon’s fingers as he embeds himself in my hilt, rubbing that sweet spot inside me that no one has touched for years. 

I cum with a cry. I ride his fingers and his mouth like a stripper who’s found her favorite pole and the most shameless thing is, I can see my face in the reflection of the polished steel wall. Perverted. Lustful. Too hung up on desire to think straight. 

Sucking my clit once, twice as the second orgasm wears off, Deacon slowly stands up with me in his arms. Our eyes clash once more and I wrap my hands around his neck and my legs around his torso, careful not to fall. 

His eyes mirror adoration. My eyes convey hate.

The pull of his body against mine feels like love. I know it’s not love. This is sizzling lust. This is the kind of hate fucking ex-couples do and it literally means nothing to either of them.
他的身体对我的身体的拉扯感觉就像爱。我知道那不是爱。这是炙手可热的欲望。这就是他妈的前情侣所做的那种仇恨，这对他们中的任何一个来说都毫无意义。
他的身体对我的身体的拉扯感觉就像爱。我知道那不是爱。这是炙手可热的欲望。这就是他妈的前情侣所做的那种仇恨，这对他们中的任何一个来说都毫无意义。

This is me letting off steam. 

With no words exchanged, our lips find each other again and the taste of both of us on his lips is enough to send me into a spiral. Especially when I feel his hard cock poking my entrance. Especially when I feel this is happening and I don’t have the strength to stop it nor do I desire to.
没有言语交流，我们的嘴唇再次相遇，我们俩在他嘴唇上的味道足以让我陷入漩涡。尤其是当我感觉到他坚硬的阴茎戳我的入口时。尤其是当我觉得这一切正在发生，而我没有力量阻止它，也不想阻止它时。

“Sit on my cock, Winter. Let me have your cunt again, baby.”  

In his arms, his huge hand on my back, my thighs tangled around his torso, I do as Deacon commands, I sit. 

I guide him inside me, the familiar and yet surprising way his cock stretches me, taking all the breath from my lungs and rearranging my insides.

Hanging onto his shoulders for dear life, I pace my breathing as Deacon moves inside me with one hard thrust. The thrust itself feels like a sharp slice of a knife. My lungs squeeze the oxygen inside them. Deacon’s groans mix with my moans and our sounds rain down on me like needles pricking my skin in a good tantalizing way.  

The discomfort of having him inside me, subsides with the long, luxurious kisses that Deacon rains on my mouth. On my cheeks, neck, and breasts. He stops every now and again, not wanting to come, to suck one of my nipples into his mouth and lick around it. He caresses my face and swipes stray locks of hair from my forehead. He is moving inside me as though he’s done it a thousand times before, but he is also careful and gentle.
让他在我体内的不适，随着 Deacon 落在我嘴上的漫长而奢华的吻而消退。在我的脸颊、脖子和乳房上。他时不时停下来，不想来，把我的一个吸进嘴里，舔舐它。他抚摸着我的脸，擦去我额头上散落的头发。他在我体内移动，就像他以前做过一千次一样，但他也很小心和温柔。
让他在我体内的不适，随着 Deacon 落在我嘴上的漫长而奢华的吻而消退。在我的脸颊、脖子和乳房上。他时不时停下来，不想来，把我的一个吸进嘴里，舔舐它。他抚摸着我的脸，擦去我额头上散落的头发。他在我体内移动，就像他以前做过一千次一样，但他也很小心和温柔。

Each thrust being a testament of how perfectly we fit together. 

“You feel how your cunt swallows my cock, baby? Like she was made for me?” 

“Mmm.” 

Coherent words fail to escape me as Deacon increases his pace. 

Gone are the gentle strokes he started with and in its stead, are rough thrusts that have my nails digging into the back of his shoulders and my walls clenching around his cock desperately. 

His cock rubs that sweet spot inside me and together, I meet his thrusts, I meet his lips and kiss him and I meet those eyes that force me to be locked on nothing else but him. 

My orgasm comes wrecking my body in a reckless moan as Deacon’s name repeats on my lips like a broken record.  

CHAPTER TWELVE 

DEACON
执事

The feel of my cum trickling down her creamy thighs makes my already soft cock go hard again. My hands on her hips, our foreheads resting on each other as I suck her bottom lip into my mouth feels borderline euphoric. 

My cock is still inside her, my cum leaking out of her swollen cunt as her pebbled nipples poke my chest through my shirt and the feel of her after so many years of yearning is worth more than a thousand words. I want to fuck her on a bed, I want to make love to her while I taste every damn inch of her skin that this small lift couldn’t give me access to. 

The urge to mark her has never felt so great like it does now and I want to do that to her as soon as we are out of here. 

I want you again, baby. Not once, not twice and certainly not thrice. 

My wolf howls with renewed vigor and I agree with him when he concludes that we finally won over Winter. She’s finally let us in and we will keep her this time around. 

Unfortunately, my thoughts fail to come to fruition when the elevator wobbles and a set of beeping sounds accompany it. In mere seconds, the lift starts moving and as soon as it does, Winter’s lips pull away from me, the lust in her eyes fizzling out like a candle flame getting extinguished by a single gust of wind. 

I can see the minute the Winter who hates me comes to her senses and the sight itself is like taking a sucker punch to the chest. 

“Put me down”, she demands.

The regret on her face makes me sick. She regrets this. She regrets us kissing and anything we did inside here. 

Out of rage? Courtesy? Call it even saving myself from heartbreak, I put her down as gently as my hands can. 

Winter wobbles on her feet a little and I try to offer her a hand so she can stand straight but the dagger eyes she shoots me have me backing down. She picks up her bra putting it on with trembling fingers, she searches for her panties and I’m the bastard who won’t tell her I stole her panties and they are currently in my coat’s left pocket. She finishes putting on her clothes in seconds and in all that time, she avoids my eyes like the plague. 

I’m about to at least speak to her about what just happened when another sound comes from the small speaker near the buttons on the lift. 

“Sir? Alpha Deacon are you there?” 

Winter’s face turns pale. 

I put my cock back in my pants, listening to the new man who’s speaking from the other end of the line. 

“Yes”, I answer. 

Static buzzes from the radio before the guy speaks again,”I’m Howard from Security and it seems we went through a blackout that made all the lifts malfunction. Our backup generators weren’t working as well. But everything is back and running. I went through the CCTV footage and saw you getting into the lift with Ms. Cavanaugh? Is she there with you?” 

I want to ask this Howard guy why me being in a lift with Winter would concern him when Winter fixes her hair and with a smile, she replies,”I’m here too, Howard. Thanks for fixing the lift.”

“No, my apologies go to you and the boss. You two must have been stuck there for almost two hours and that’s somehow my fault.” 

Hating the tension and Howard all together, I cut off the chit-chat, dwelling on the most important thing. 

“Hey, Howard?” 

“Yes, boss?” 

“Are there any CCTV cameras inside the lift?” 

Winter’s shoulders tense but I'd rather skin alive ten men who sound like Howard than let anyone see her naked body. 

“Yes, sir. I haven’t looked at the footage yet out of-” 

“Delete all the footage from today that captured everything in the lift.” 

Howard goes silent. Winter holds her purse in a tight grip. 

“Done, sir. Apologies once again, the lift should be up and running by now.” 

No sooner does Howard finish his apology than the lift reaches its destination. The elevator doors open and Winter steps out of it like the snarling air inside chokes her. 

A wise man should let her leave. 

A good man should not question how she feels about what we did just there. 

We might have fucked but I felt her in my system, I felt the pull in her heart as I kissed her and made her mine after so many years. I might go ahead and say i didn’t just fuck her, I claimed her. 

Goddess sake, my cum is peppering her thighs as we speak. 

Since I've never been wise or a good man where Winter is concerned, I get out of the lift in time to catch Winter’s wrist before she runs to her car and shuts me out again. 

Touching her makes Winter stop and instead of turning around to face me, she gives me her back. 

“It’s late. I’ll offer you a ride home”, my voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard to my own ears. I don’t want to offer her a ride home, I want to take her to my place.  

“I have a car, Deacon and I know how to drive in case you missed it. I’d appreciate it too if you let go of my hand.” 

The silence in the parking lot is so ironically loud in my ears. 

“You can’t run away from this Winter. Not after what happened in that-” 

This time, Winter turns around, her cold green eyes boring into mine like a scorned woman out to prove a point. 

“And what do you think happened inside that elevator, Mr. Cross? Pray tell, what exactly do you think happened in there?” 

“Don’t do this.” I’ve been pissed about a lot of things for years but her denial sure as hell takes the cake. 

Don’t do this to us, baby. 

“I was having a panic attack and you fucked me to help me get over it. Nothing special. Nothing worth speaking about.” 

Crossing the distance between us, my jaw ticking, my anger billowing around me like steam, I call her bullshit, “The way our bodies moved in sync like they were calling to each other wasn’t nothing, Winter. The way we could barely keep off each other because of this bond that ignited the minute I kissed your lips wasn’t nothing. What? You want to tell me you didn’t feel our bond, like a tight thread connecting us? . You can try to feed yourself that bullshit of it being nothing because you are still hurt but we both know something happened in that lift. Something you feel right in that little heart you keep on hiding from me.” 

Raucous laughter slips from her lips, the type that sounds mocking and agitating, then she decimates me with her words. 

“For sex to mean anything with you, I would have to care about you first, Deacon and I stopped caring about you a long time ago. Whatever happened in that lift? I regret it. I regret every single minute I let you touch my body again.”
“要让性对你有任何意义，我得先关心你，我和迪肯很久以前就不再关心你了。那次电梯里发生了什么？我很后悔。我后悔让我再次触摸我的身体的每一分钟。
“要让性对你有任何意义，我得先关心你，我和迪肯很久以前就不再关心你了。那次电梯里发生了什么？我很后悔。我后悔让我再次触摸我的身体的每一分钟。

I let her wrist go. 

I watch her walk down the parking lot all the way to her car. 

But deep inside? I feel like I got served a cold dish of humble pie. 

XXX

The next day has me tending to work emails, employing new managers for each department that are capable enough to handle the workload awaiting them as well as cross checking everything with the CFO and the board of directors. 

Five hours since I arrived in the office and although I'm trying to make my sour mood not too obvious in front of everyone, the truth of the matter is, I'm one knuckle away from breaking something.
我到办公室已经五个小时了，虽然我试图在大家面前让我的酸涩情绪不太明显，但事实是，我离打破什么东西只差一个指关节。
我到办公室已经五个小时了，虽然我试图在大家面前让我的酸涩情绪不太明显，但事实是，我离打破什么东西只差一个指关节。

Winter has been getting me every file I ask for, from downstairs without a word. She’s barely looked at me and I’ve done the same. Regardless of the situation between us, the outfit she has for the day which is a navy blue pantsuit with killer heels makes her stand out more than any female who’s been in here and it’s all I could appreciate in this dull morning.
Winter 一直在从楼下拿我要求的所有文件，一言不发。 她几乎不看我一眼，我也做了同样的事情。不管我们之间的情况如何，她当天的服装，海军蓝裤装和杀手级高跟鞋，让她比任何来过这里的女性都更显眼，这就是我在这个沉闷的早晨所能欣赏的一切。

Her rejection still tastes like sour lime on my tongue. Is this how it felt like for her, years ago? Like her heart was being smashed to smithereens? 

“Sir? What do you think about that strategy? I mean it’s not nearly as perfect as the one Wilfred used but this could help us in bringing in more profits to offset the losses”, one of the newly appointed managers, the one in charge of marketing, asks me a question. 

The afternoon sun drawls through the floor-ceiling windows resting on the fifteen heads inside the room with me. I’ve barely been concentrating on anything since Winter, who’s seated in the seat next to mine, is all I can smell and all I can think about.
午后的阳光透过落地窗照进来，照在房间里的十五个头上。自从Winter以来，我几乎没有集中精力做任何事情，坐在我旁边的座位上，是我能闻到的，也是我能想到的。

Did I not make her come enough? Did she not feel our bond like a tight rubber band pulling our hearts together? 

My thoughts are splintered into two when a man in a well -fitted suit walks into my boardroom like he fucking owns the building. 

Six feet two in height, a cocky smile on his face and a build almost similar to mine, this new intruder speaks before he’s spoken to, “New strategies and having a new boss won’t save an already sinking company.”

My eyes lock with his and I figure out from the get-go, he’s an Alpha. And more than that, I have an inkling who he might be. 

“And you are?” I ask the question blandly. 

Without answering me, my day turns more sour when this new Alpha rests his gaze on the woman seated beside me. The woman who belongs to me and no one else’s. The woman whose lips I kissed like I was a man starving for eons. 

“Hey, sweetheart. No hugs for me?”  

What the hell is happening… 

“Hello Alpha Kieran”, Winter replies to him with a blush and I stand up from my seat seeing more than red. 

This is Alpha Kieran Vega of Vega Industries? 

He calls her ‘sweetheart’ and she replies to that endearment?  

She calls me ‘Mr. Cross’ while she calls him ‘Alpha Kieran’? 

The right thing to do would be punching Kieran Vega till he bled on my tiled floors but punching the bastard means building a bad image to my workers, to my board of directors and to Winter. Fuck. 

“Kieran Vega of Vega industries. Wilfred was barely any competition so it’s a pleasure to finally meet my new rival.”, the cocky bastard stretches out his hand for me to shake it. I stare at his hand, ignore it and shoulder my way past him, going back to my office.
“Vega industries 的 Kieran Vega。Wilfred 几乎不是什么竞争对手，所以很高兴终于见到我的新对手。”，这个自大的混蛋伸出手让我握手。我盯着他的手，无视它，从他身边走过，回到了我的办公室。

I don’t get to settle in my seat and let my simmering rage cool down before Simon comes into my office, all fidgety and nervous. 

“Sir, is everything okay? Everyone was a bit worried since you left the meeting a bit abruptly.” 

I look at Simon, jealousy coating every inch of me like sticky toffee. 

“What relationship does Kieran Vega have with Winter Cavanaugh?” 

My question has Simon’s eyes going wide. Hell, I'd bet my own money that I’ve just rattled his feathers with the way I’m looking at him. 

“Sir? I don’t…I don’t understand. Alpha Kieran might not work here but his relationship with Ms. Cavanaugh is the same as every relationship she has with the men who work here.” 

Simon’s answer douses my anger in a vat of more poisonous envy. 

“And what relationship is that, Simon?” 

Swallowing nerves down his throat, Simon readjusts his tie,”A friendly relationship. Ms. Cavanaugh is friends with everyone here including Alpha Kieran Vega.” 

“Is that right?” I ask with a pained incredulous chuckle before I add,”Send a mass email to every man in this building, Simon. Any man who’ll be seen engaging with Winter Cavanaugh can kiss his job goodbye starting right now.” 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN 

WINTER
冬

Deacon’s outburst makes everyone conclude that the meeting is over. After Deacon leaves everyone else streams out of the boardroom one by one and i stay back for a few minutes before gathering my things, the thoughts of going back to Deacon’s office making my skin break into hives. It’s bad enough i was distracted yesternight so much so that my boys noticed and it’s bad enough that I couldn’t sleep a wink remembering every single second Deacon touched me but to actually sit in that office again pretending that him fucking me in the lift was nothing is a bigger problem than i could have foreseen. 

Once everyone leaves and I fall under the assumption that I’m the only one left in the room, I’m barely off my seat when the musky cologne of sandalwood and patchouli hogs my nostrils.  

It doesn’t take me turning around to know the man standing behind me is Alpha Kieran Vega. I mean he’s the only man who smells like he bathes in luxury colognes in his free time.
我不需要转身就知道站在我身后的男人是 Alpha Kieran Vega。我的意思是，他是唯一一个在空闲时间闻起来像沐浴在豪华古龙水中的男人。
我不需要转身就知道站在我身后的男人是 Alpha Kieran Vega。我的意思是，他是唯一一个在空闲时间闻起来像沐浴在豪华古龙水中的男人。

Caging me with his hand and standing behind my chair in a way I can’t move unless I shove him or request him to move, the man with the golden eyes I’ve gotten used to, whispers in my ear. 

“Don’t tell me you are leaving so soon, sweetheart. We barely had time to catch up since the last time we saw each other”, Alpha Kieran’s velvety voice streams into my ears and given the time and my mood, it sounds more annoying than usual.
“别告诉我你这么快就走了，亲爱的。自从上次见面以来，我们几乎没有时间叙旧”，Alpha Kieran 天鹅绒般的声音传入我的耳中，考虑到时间和我的心情，这听起来比平时更烦人。

“I believe the last time we saw each other, you were threatening Mr. Wilfred of how you would bring this company down”, cocking my head to give him my answer turns out to be a big mistake because that only leaves my face mere inches from his.

From the eyes of another woman, Alpha Kieran Vega was everything one would want in a mate. He was rich enough to buy Bracken City, he was a ruthless businessman who never gave up on what he wanted and as for his looks, he wasn’t too lacking in that department either. 

With a six-foot two height, a charismatic attitude that all Alphas carried and eyes that could lull even the most loyal lunas, Alpha Kieran was temptation wrapped in a nice red bow. Too bad, the effect he had on other women never rubbed off on me.

“You are still sour about that?” Kieran asks. 

“You were going to bring the company down and everyone who worked here down with it. But it doesn’t matter now, I've got somewhere to be so if you could please step aside and give me room, I’d appreciate that.”
“你要把公司搞垮，让所有在这里工作的人都垮掉。但现在没关系了，我有地方要去，所以如果你能请到一边，给我空间，我将不胜感激。
“你要把公司搞垮，让所有在这里工作的人都垮掉。但现在没关系了，我有地方要去，所以如果你能请到一边，给我空间，我将不胜感激。

I expect Kieran to be as stubborn as always but it’s a surprise when his scent fades from my nostrils and he steps back giving me room to push my chair back and stand up. 

“Whatever this new guy is offering you, I could pay you double the amount, Winter. You know I'd do anything for you”, Kieran delivers the line with a smile. Almost as if he’s being sarcastic and serious at the same time.

“Are you offering to buy me as your assistant, Alpha Kieran? Because that actually makes me feel cheap.” 

With that lazy smile plastered on his smile, Kieran steps forward. Enough to be in my breathing space but not enough to cross any boundaries. 

“Having you as my assistant is the last thing on my mind, Winter. I’d pay to see you in my kitchen cooking for me, in my room, on my bed, hell doing anything you want in my house. You’d never have to work a single day in your life.” 

Laughter snorts from my throat as I reply back with, “Goodbye, Alpha Kieran. Some of us have actual work to be done.” 

Holding the blue files against my chest tighter, I’m almost to the door when Kieran’s words hit me from behind. 

“I’m still waiting for the day you actually say yes to my dinner proposal, sweetheart. You have my number in case you ever change your mind.” 

‘I’ll never change my mind’ is what I want to say but instead I step out of the boardroom, closing the door on Kieran’s smirking face. 

Getting to Deacon’s office takes a lot of pep-talking and trying to push away my wolf who buzzes with excitement at the prospect of seeing Deacon again. Ever since I slept with Deacon, somehow my wolf has started to get attached and I fear for both of us because getting too attached will lead to the same heartbreak we tried to cure in years. 

‘We can tell Deacon, we don't regret a second of what happened last night.’, my wolf reminds me. 

Pushing the double-edged doors to Deacon’s office ends up as a relief and somehow as crushing disappointment when Simon tells me the boss left and he actually said I could leave for work early today. 

I guess I never stopped to think that Deacon has a life outside work just like I do and seeing as how it’s already Friday, that means no seeing Deacon till Monday.
我想我从来没有停下来想过 Deacon 和我一样在工作之外也有生活，而且现在已经是星期五了，这意味着直到星期一才能见到 Deacon。

xxx 

“Uncle Luka! Uncle Luka! Look at me, I can fly”, Adrian squeals from the swings. I’d be worried about those swings if it weren’t for the fact that my baby is barely two feet off the ground. 

“I see you, Addie. Wow. Are you planning on being a superhero?” Luka shouts back. 

Ash, who is scooping sand near the sand pit, stands with a plastic shovel, staring at Luka a tad bit too aggressively. 

“I want to be a superhero too, Uncle Luka!” Asher whines. 

“Babies, you can all be superheroes with those faces”, Julie chimes in and that seems to calm the boys who are doing two different things on opposite sides of the park.
“宝贝们，你们都可以成为拥有这些面孔的超级英雄”，朱莉插话道，这似乎让在公园对立面做着两件不同事情的男孩们平静下来。
“宝贝们，你们都可以成为拥有这些面孔的超级英雄”，朱莉插话道，这似乎让在公园对立面做着两件不同事情的男孩们平静下来。

Biting a chunk of my pretzel, the warmth of the sun on my skin reminding me why I love the park, I break the monotonous silence between me and my friends. 

“Any reason why both of you decided to ambush me in the park?” I ask. 

Julie is the first to break,”We didn’t ambush you.We were dying to see our nephews.” 

She’s always been a bad liar. Almost as bad as me. 

“While I agree with Jules that we wanted to see your boys and I actually missed these little munchkins, this is the only way we could get you to talk without you giving us excuses.” 

My salty pretzel almost chokes my throat as my spine stands ramrod straight. Oh Goddess, did they find out about what happened between me and Deacon in that lift? 

“Winter, we know there’s something going on between you and the boss”, Julie holds my hand as she delivers her statement. 

“Either that or the boss might be a bit possessive over you.” Whatever Luka says has me confused as ever.
“要么是那个，要么是老板对你有点占有欲。”无论 Luka 说什么，我都一如既往地困惑。
“要么是那个，要么是老板对你有点占有欲。”无论 Luka 说什么，我都一如既往地困惑。

“What do you mean?”
“你什么意思？”
“你什么意思？”

Please. Please. Let it not be that everyone saw the footage from the lift. I mean Howard said he’d delete it but what if he didn’t? 

“He sent every guy an email. And in the email it clearly states if any guy is seen talking to you, laughing with you or getting remotely close to you, then he’ll get fired. Hell, I’m risking my job talking to you right now, Winter.” 

Color immediately drains from my face. 

No he didn’t. Deacon wouldn’t… 

Shit. He did it. 

That bastard sent every guy in the company an email with the subject being ‘Winter Cavanaugh is off-limits’ in bold letters. Going to the company message thread has the little food in my stomach sloshing dangerously.  

I think I might throw up. 

Malicious rumors pile up in the texts and there’s no stopping the rumors from now on. And if these rumors spread to the point of Deacon hearing about my personal life then he might find out about Asher’s and Adrian’s existence.  

“You didn’t know about the email?” Luka asks in realization. 

“No, I didn’t. I have to stop the rumors before they reach Deacon.” 

“Winter…” 

“The boss can’t find out I have kids, Luka.” 

Maybe it’s the fear written all over my face or maybe it’s the way my voice wobbles, either way, silence falls between us before Julie’s face turns a shade pale, her eyes going wide as well.,“Deacon Cross is your ex. He’s Asher’s and Adrian’s father, isn’t he?”
也许是我脸上写满了恐惧，也许是我的声音摇晃不定，不管怎样，我们之间一片寂静，然后朱莉的脸色变得苍白，她的眼睛也睁大了。“克洛斯执事是你的前任。他是阿舍和阿德里安的爸爸，不是吗？

I nod. I'm too tired of keeping this from them. 

“Wait, wait, I thought you said Ash and Addie’s dad died and abandoned you.” 

I fumble for the right words and all that comes up is,”He isn’t dead but the abandoned part was true about him. He rejected me before he knew I was pregnant. If he finds out about my boys, he could take them away from me or my boys’ hearts could get crushed if they know they have a father who doesn’t want anything to do with them.”

Surprised faces, judgy eyes, my friendship with them hangs in the balance, that is until Luka speaks up. 

“We have to stop the rumors. Ashley and a few women in the office are digging about your past due to jealousy and soon enough they’ll be telling your ex… I mean our douchebag of a boss, everything about you so he can fall out of love with you.”
“我们必须阻止谣言。由于嫉妒，Ashley 和办公室里的几个女人正在挖掘你的过去，很快她们就会告诉你的前任......我是说我们老板的混蛋，关于你的一切，这样他就可以爱上你了。
“我们必须阻止谣言。由于嫉妒，Ashley 和办公室里的几个女人正在挖掘你的过去，很快她们就会告诉你的前任......我是说我们老板的混蛋，关于你的一切，这样他就可以爱上你了。

Deacon is not in love with me. I don’t think he’d understand the meaning of love if it slapped him in the face. 

“You have to start dating, Winter or I don’t know, start seeing a guy in public so the rumors about you and the boss can die down.” 

Wait what? I haven’t gone out on a date in forever. Actually I've never been on a date.  

“What about Alpha Kieran Vega? He’s asked you out countless times, right? Call him today, accept his offer on a date and dine somewhere in public where people are bound to take pictures of both of you.” 

Julie sounds almost as crazy as Luka. 

I want to turn down her idea but my eyes roam to where my sons are and I make a decision right there and then. 

It’s either this date with Kieran or me losing my babies and I'll always choose my babies every time. 

xxx 

The sleeveless spaghetti strap mini- dress hugs my curves and makes me feel prettier than I’ve ever felt for a long time. The red satin fabric of the dress itself compliments the blush on my cheeks, completely blending in with my entire look.

Leaving Adrian and Asher on a Saturday night with Isabel feels like I'm betraying our personal bonding time.but my boys seem way more excited about this date than I am. 

“Pretty. Mommy”, Adrian claps his tiny hands, the amazed look in his eyes almost bringing tears to my eyes.
“漂亮。妈妈”，Adrian拍打着他的小手，他惊讶的眼神几乎让我热泪盈眶。
“漂亮。妈妈”，Adrian拍打着他的小手，他惊讶的眼神几乎让我热泪盈眶。

“Like a princess”, Ash adds, just as mesmerized as his brother. I can almost see the word ‘wow’ written all over his cute face. 

“The dress suits you”, Isabel compliments before she adds sweetly, “Your date won't know what hit him when he sees you.” 

I don't expect my kids to understand what Isabel means. Mostly because I don't know how they'll take the news seeing their mommy go on a date with a man when she's never done so in the first place.
我不指望我的孩子们能理解 Isabel 的意思。主要是因为我不知道他们会如何看待看到他们的妈妈和一个男人约会的消息，而她本来就没有这样做过。

And yet it comes as a shock when Adrian tugs at my dress and asks accusingly, “Are you bringing us a new daddy, mommy?” 

Goddess. 

Asher's eyes meet mine in the reflection and he gives me a grin. 

“I want a new daddy too, mommy! We asked daddy in heaven if it was okay to get a new daddy so please please can we have a new daddy?” 

I'm saved from the interrogation when the loud beeping of a car comes from outside our house indicating my ride's here and Isabel declares, “Mommy's got to go and it's almost past your bedtime, boys.”
我从审讯中解脱出来，这时我们家外面传来了汽车的响亮哔哔声，表明我的车已经到了，伊莎贝尔宣布：“妈妈得走了，快过你们的睡觉时间了，孩子们。
我从审讯中解脱出来，这时我们家外面传来了汽车的响亮哔哔声，表明我的车已经到了，伊莎贝尔宣布：“妈妈得走了，快过你们的睡觉时间了，孩子们。

The boys begrudgingly kiss me goodnight, having more questions than I can possibly answer. All I can promise them is that I'll try my best to have fun tonight.

Kieran, who’d said yes to dinner with me tonight, sent a fancy slick lambo to pick me up from outside my home.

I’m not all concerned about fancy things like cars but I have to admit, everything about the car blows my mind away. 

The driver’s almost to the restaurant when my phone rings in my purse. AAlpha Kieran’s number dots on my screen the minute I take my phone out and I take the call 

“Good evening, sweetheart. Liked your surprise?”  

“You mean the fact that you sent a car to my home when I never gave you my address in the first place?” 

“I liked you from the moment I saw you, Winter Cavanaugh. Of course, I stalked you and found out your home address.”

My shoulders tense. How much did he stalk me? 

“I don’t know whether to be creeped out or flattered by that, Alpha Kieran.” 

Because really, I don’t. 

“Kieran. Call me ‘Kieran’.Come on, you finally said yes to me, sweetheart. The least you could do is drop the formality and call me by my first name.” 

The only alpha I call by his first name is Deacon and that’s not because he’s my ex-mate but because calling him that reminds me he’s not some big bad alpha I have to obey. 

“Any more surprises you’ve got in store for me, Kieran?” 

The car comes to a halt, I stare out the window, my eyes meeting the man standing outside with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a cocky smile that’d make most ladies want to drop their panties for him. 

“Only one, sweetheart”, he speaks through the phone and I cut the call. 

Like a true gentleman, Kieran opens the door for me and I take his hand returning an appreciative smile. 

The car leaves a second later and my heart deflates in disappointment when our hands touch. There’s not even a tiny spark coursing through my body. I don’t feel my wolf getting excited from the scent coming off of Kieran either. 

When Kieran hands me the huge bouquet of white lilies, my heart doesn’t pound harshly against my chest from the sentiment neither do I feel any throbbing between my legs. Not like I did with… 

“The flowers are almost the final part of the surprise. I didn’t know what to get you so I went with what you smell like. Lilies.” 

Bringing the flowers to my nose, I sniff them, loving how they smell and just how beautiful they glint against the moon's light. 

“Kieran, I think the flowers are-.” 

My words are cut off by an animalistic growl that rumbles from behind me. 

By the time I’m caught in the loop with who’s standing behind me and what’s happening. Deacon leaps from behind me like an unleashed puma, punches Kieran right in the jaw and knocks him to the ground. 

CHAPTER FOURTEEN 

WINTER
冬

One minute I'm holding the bouquet of lilies I received from Kieran and the next minute I'm surrounded by the restaurant’s valets and a few people who are just as concerned and surprised as I am. 

Deacon’s eyes flash with rage as he drops another punch to Kieran’s face. The punch itself ricochets in the air like a bone being snapped in half. 

Some woman next to me screams. 

Another man whispers harshly in the distance, “We have to stop them.” 

“They are two alphas fighting. If you get in between them to try and stop them then you’ll be the one losing a few teeth tonight. Let them be. Alphas fight all the time”, another older guy with a beat up cane sneers. 

Kieran, who’s still on the ground, barely manages to evade Deacon’s fists as they rain on him like unexpected hail from the sky.
仍然躺在地上的基兰勉强躲过了迪肯的拳头，这些拳头像意想不到的冰雹一样从天而降。

Another punch has Kieran’s blood spurting from his nose and mouth. The sight of blood nearly makes me hurl the little food I had in my stomach. 

Another fist connects with Kieran's nose and I’m not the only one worried that this fight might end with one of them seriously injured and the other one getting buried six feet under. 

With lax confidence and fury rolling off my shoulders like a storm brewing in the horizon, I drop my flowers, tearing myself from the crowd that has continued to attract masses since this fight started.  

“Deacon!” 

The bastard barely listens to me. I contemplate going to move behind him and placing my hand on his shoulder so that I can pull him away from Kieran but even I know that’s a bad idea.
那个混蛋几乎不听我的话。我考虑走到他身后，把手放在他的肩膀上，这样我就可以把他从Kieran身边拉开，但即使我知道这是个坏主意。

They are Alphas, if one of them decides to shift, my wolf won’t be able to hold any of their wolves down. 

“Deacon? Stop! Stop this!” 

My molars grind against one another as I scream again. 

For a brief moment, it’s like Deacon hears me because he turns around and our eyes lock. His eyes are bloodshot, glowing red like a fuse that's about to combust at any moment. I don't even think he’s seeing straight. 

Unfortunately for him, Kieran chooses that as his golden opportunity to turn the fight around. Bile lodges in my throat as I watch Kieran flip Deacon around so that the latter is on the ground and the former is straddling him. Then, raising his fist in the air ready to strike Deacon's face, I open my mouth faster than Kieran's punch can land. 

“Kieran, no! L-Let him go. Don't stoop to his level. Please.” 

Every muscle in Kieran’s body tells him to attack Deacon too, I can see it in the way his hands fist but instead, Kieran actually listens to me. 

He steps away from Deacon. 

I barely think for a second as I storm over to the man who’s having difficulty in standing let alone string a coherent word together. 

“Win… Winter”, Deacon slurs with a shy smile. 

Is he drunk right now? 

“Get up”, my voice comes out wobbly but I refuse to let an incident like this bring me down. 

People are watching. I can also see the flashes of cameras being pointed at us. Tomorrow everything that happened here will add to those malicious rumors I'm trying to fight. And deep down I pray it ends up the opposite.
人们在看着。我还能看到相机的闪光灯对准我们。明天这里发生的一切都将增加我正在努力对抗的那些恶意谣言。在内心深处，我祈祷结果恰恰相反。
人们在看着。我还能看到相机的闪光灯对准我们。明天这里发生的一切都将增加我正在努力对抗的那些恶意谣言。在内心深处，我祈祷结果恰恰相反。

“Baby… I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry? Sorry doesn’t begin to cover what you just did, Deacon. What the fuck are you doing here? How? Why would you do this?” 

“Winter…” 

“You need to leave Deacon. Right now.” 

The wounded look in his eyes almost gets to me but I can’t for the life of me understand why he did this as I watch him stand up and stagger backwards a bit. 

Standing so close to him means I can smell the rancid alcoholic breath coming from his mouth and it also means I can look at those dark eyes that are no longer enraged.
站在他身边，意味着我能闻到他嘴里散发出的腐臭的酒精气息，也意味着我可以看着那双不再愤怒的黑眼睛。

“I’ll leave”, a defeated sigh escapes his lips but then he adds, “If you leave… with me.” 

“Deacon.” 

“Come… with me.” 

Maybe it’s the plea in his eyes or maybe it’s that wounded look on his face, the one he wears like a badge he wants me to see, all I know is, I can’t let this man go home in this state all by himself. 

What if something happens to him?  

What if he decides to do something crazy if I don’t leave with him? 

I shouldn’t care about him right now after what he pulled but my wolf? She cares a lot. She’s worried about him more than ever. 

I turn to Kieran, the man I'd actually forgotten was here in the first place. 

“I’ll just take him to his car and be right back. Wait for me?” 

Kieran only nods, an unreadable expression on his face. 

Getting Deacon to his car turns out to be a great feat because finding his car in the parking lot takes us at least five minutes, getting Deacon to let go of my hand takes another six minutes and finally going to where I left Kieran standing takes at most three minutes. 

Long gone is the man who gave me flowers almost half an hour ago. The Kieran Vega standing in front of me looks like he got run over by a car a few times and still managed to survive.
差不多半小时前给我送花的那个男人早已不在了。站在我面前的 Kieran Vega 看起来就像被汽车碾过几次，但仍然设法活了下来。
差不多半小时前给我送花的那个男人早已不在了。站在我面前的 Kieran Vega 看起来就像被汽车碾过几次，但仍然设法活了下来。

The awkwardness between us is as palpable as the tension in the air. I make an attempt to smooth over the events of what happened today but Kieran offers me a smile before speaking first. 

“I got punched in the face by your boss and the first person you ran to was Winter. If that isn’t indication enough that he’s the man you’ve been in love with for years then I don’t know what is.” 

I could correct Kieran that I’m not in love with Deacon but instead I settle for, “I’m sorry for everything. Starting with everything he did to you just now all the way to ruining whatever wonderful surprise you had prepared for me. I'm truly sorry Kieran.”

Kieran’s golden eyes trace my face then with a sigh he asks me a question I don't know the answer to. 

“He’s the guy that snatched your heart, isn’t he?” 

“I wouldn’t say that”, I correct him. 

“I always knew there was a guy involved, sweetheart. I just thought you would forget him in time and realize I’m the better catch”, there’s some humor in his voice and I chuckle at his statement, agreeing with him. 

“You are the best catch for any woman, Kieran. And when you find that woman, I know she'll appreciate having you in her life.” 

He’ll be a good man to his mate more than Deacon ever was to me. 

“This is you finally rejecting me, isn’t it Winter Cavanaugh? I can’t say it doesn’t sting but I respect your decision.” 

“I wish you the best, Kieran. I really do. Maybe we can be friends?” 

Not that I expect this man to ever want to see me again after this. 

“Friends it is. And Winter? I looked into you because I thought I had a chance with you.The private investigator I hired looked into everything about you and it took him almost an entire year to find out you have twin boys. If my gut isn’t wrong right now, I know those kids are Deacon’s. And I’m not trying to meddle in your life here but Deacon wouldn’t have punched me if he didn’t care about you, Winter. Just like I cared about you to hire a private investigator so I could know more about you, so will Deacon do the same. He’s an Alpha and he has the same resources I do or even more. It won’t take long for him to find out he has sons with you. I also have a feeling he’d be over the moon if he found out the truth about your sons. . It’s not my place to tell him the truth so I'll leave that to you, sweetheart. Give him a second chance.” 

I can’t give him a second chance. I just… I just can’t. 

“Goodbye, Alpha Kieran.” 

Xxx 

Deacon fell asleep as soon as he told me his home address and I drove him home. I shouldn’t even be surprised when I find where he’s living is some sort of modern futuristic house with everything inside nearly costing thousands of dollars if not millions. 

We stagger into the lift together and I almost faint when Deacon’s entire six feet height and muscular build leans against my small frame. It should be criminal to weigh this much but then what do I expect when it comes to an Alpha who somehow gained another two hundred pounds in seven years? 

The minute our feet step out of the lift, all the lights in his mansion turn on automatically. 

Deacon continues slurring in his drunken state and no matter how bad I want to shove him in the nearest couch and get out of here, I can't fail to admit he’s kind of cute when he’s not being a huge asshole.
Deacon 继续在他醉酒的状态下含糊不清，无论我多么想把他推到最近的沙发上然后离开这里，我都不能不承认他不是个大混蛋的时候有点可爱。
Deacon 继续在他醉酒的状态下含糊不清，无论我多么想把他推到最近的沙发上然后离开这里，我都不能不承认他不是个大混蛋的时候有点可爱。

Finding his bedroom in this huge penthouse-like mansion of his almost makes me want to kneel and thank Goddess for the small miracle but I should have known things weren’t going to be this easy. 

Especially when my half-drunk boss pushes his body into mine and together we end up falling on his bed. 

He proceeds to straddle me and I can't move from underneath him. 

Then his forehead rests on mine and he holds me captive. 

The entire thing causes my heart to beat like an old locomotive engine. Caught in our own bubble, our eyes are drawn to each other, the same air he breathes out is the same air I breathe in and when he leans closer to capture my lips, I turn my head to the side avoiding it completely.

“You look so beautiful…right now. Was this for him? This sexy little dress you have on, was it all for him?” 

Goddess, get me out of here. 

“I owe you no explanation after what you did. Deacon, do you realize how close you were to…” 

Deacon’s hand reaches out for my neck to cut me off and I almost moan from the mere contact alone. 

I’m pathetic. My wolf is pathetic. 

“Close to showing him…that the only guy who gets to take you on dates is me? That I’m the only fucking guy in your life?” 

Jealousy and rage bleed in his voice like he means every word. 

“You are drunk.” 

“I’ve never been more sober than I am right now, baby. You were… mine first, you’ll remain mine forever and I’m aware of that. Question is, baby, are you aware of that?” 

Putting my hand on his chest to push him back, I don’t bite down on the bile as I spurt words I shouldn’t be uttering to a man who’ll forget all this tomorrow,” Aware that these are the same words you said to me seven years ago before you crushed me like I was nothing but a speck of dust to you? Yes, I’m very aware, Deacon. Now get off of me.” 

“I kept tabs on you, Winter. When you left… baby, I searched for you. Every damn city, every town, every little village, I searched for you. You think it was easy standing there and admitting you weren’t my mate? That I wasn't dying to make you my Luna and have a future with you? I rejected you that day because I knew how things would go, Winter.

You had gone against my father, the Alpha, in public. Your family had just died and everyone didn’t want to get close to you in fear that they’d share the same fate. Taking you as my Luna would have meant the pack would taunt you, bully you, eat you alive and as for my father? He would have never allowed you to be my Luna whether we were mates or not.

So what would I have done, Winter? Kept you by my side? Caused you more harm? Or let you go in hopes that you would forgive me by the time I came back to get you?” 

I shake my head disagreeing with his statement. Hot, chunky tears burn my eyelids as I whisper weakly, “You are lying.” 

“I wasn’t strong enough back then to protect you from my pack and my father so I let you go. I’m strong now, I've become a better man for you, baby and if you can only get past your anger and forgive… me, you'd be able to see that I've changed. Forgive me, Winter.” 

Deacon repeats the words ‘forgive me’ while he holds me in his arms all night. I don’t push him off. 

I don’t think I have the energy to move as I sleep in his arms, wondering just how true his words were. 

The morning sun spews light across Deacon’s room without mercy. I open my eyes, wincing at the little pain that accosts me. Doing a double take of my surroundings reminds me what happened yesternight and whatever escalated between me and Deacon. 

Which is why I'm not surprised when I cock my head to the side and meet Deacon’s face. 

His messy dark hair covers his forehead, his lashes dust the apple of his cheeks and his lips part with every snore he lets out. I lightly chuckle because he snores just like Adrian and Asher do.
他凌乱的黑发遮住了他的额头，他的睫毛沾满了脸颊的苹果肌，他的嘴唇随着他发出的每一次鼾声而分开。我轻轻地笑了笑，因为他的鼾声就像Adrian和Asher一样。
他凌乱的黑发遮住了他的额头，他的睫毛沾满了脸颊的苹果肌，他的嘴唇随着他发出的每一次鼾声而分开。我轻轻地笑了笑，因为他的鼾声就像Adrian和Asher一样。

He looks just like how his sons do when they are too deep in slumber to hear anything around them. 

My eyes linger on his lips and the thought of kissing him comes up in my mind but I shoot it down just as fast. 

I have to go. 

I can’t stay here not after everything he revealed last night.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN 

WINTER
冬

A walk in Bracken park after I leave Deacon’s house doesn't do anything to clear the fog in my mind.  

My wolf reminds me of what Deacon said over and over until it’s become nothing but the sound of a broken record to my own ears. 

My mother always said that questioning the Alpha was like breaking the rules that governed the pack. Seven years ago, I had interjected whatever Alpha Foster had said about my family’s murder but I didn't think for a second it would bring repercussions. 

I was young, grieving, bitter and mad at everything and everyone. Maybe it was wrong of me to accuse the Alpha of lying but Deacon doesn’t get to use that as an excuse as to why he rejected me. 

And the pack taunting me? I would have gotten used to the taunts if he remained by my side. 

Instead he’d chosen to leave me when I was grieving, to turn me away when he was all I had. 

‘He looked for us after we left’, my wolf vocally reminds but if he looked for us for years, why didn’t he find us? 

Why didn’t he find me when I was washing dishes for a living while I was pregnant with his kids? When I was struggling to make ends meet, why didn’t he find us then? 

The organ in my chest? Goddess, it believes his words so much. 

And my wolf being on Deacon’s side too makes it hard to deny that my mate might have never wanted to reject me in the first place and that circumstances forced him to. 

I hate how my heart thaws at the thought of Deacon scouring every inch of every city trying to find me. 

I also hate how my breath lodges in my throat as I remember how sinfully handsome he looked this morning. All quiet and peaceful. If it wasn’t for what happened in the past, we would have been sharing a bed. I would have been sleeping in his arms, kissing him, letting him touch me wherever he wanted. 

The park might be empty this time of day but even as the leaves slap each other in the trees from the cool morning breeze, I rack my gaze around, the feel of being watched so tangible in my mouth. Fortunately the ringing of my phone in my purse pulls me out of the reverie I'm assuming to be nothing more than stress or mere hallucination. . 

Spotting a park bench nearby, I go to sit on it picking the phone that has Isabel’s name littered on my screen. 

The video call starts in a second and there’s no hiding my smile when my boys’ faces appear on the screen and they are each fighting for space on it. 

“Mommy!” 

They both squeal. 

“Hi, my little darlings.You guys ready for school?” 

Adrian pouts, pulling up a sad face before he whispers in a tone that almost shatters my heart. 

“Nooo. You didn’t come home to cook us dinner. We couldn’t sleep, mommy.” 

Oh boy. 

Before I open my mouth to apologize, Asher cuts me off with an unexpected glee in his eyes. 

“Is it because of our new daddy, mommy? Is he coming? Will he bring toys? Abby’s dad brings her toys all the time!” 

“I’ll get you all the toys you want, baby.” 

That’s the best thing I can tell them without crushing their little hearts that Kieran was never going to be their new dad. 

“I don’t want a new daddy, mommy”, Adrian admits and I flick a brow at him, “You look sad, mommy so I don’t want him anymore.”

Goddess, what did I do to deserve these little angels.

Whatever Adrian says seems to upset Asher and for the first time since I gave birth to them, I can tell they are about to disagree when it comes to this ‘new daddy’ topic. 

“Tell you what? How about you and Ash, brush your teeth, give Isabel an easy time as she takes you to school and when you come home, mommy will be waiting for you to cook your favorite food? How does that sound?” 

“Really?” Asher smiles and I want to kiss his little cheeks so bad. 

Spending the night with Deacon has only made me miss my boys all the more. 

“Yes, really. You like that, baby?” 

“Yes!” They both squeal at the same time before their little waves appear on the screen,”We’ll get going, mommy. Bye.”

Isabel takes the phone and there’s no missing the curiosity etched all over her face. 

“Adrian was right. You do look sad. I take it the date didn’t go as well as you hoped?” 

Actually the date didn’t happen and I ended up taking my drunk ex home after he gatecrashed said date but I don’t tell Isabel all that. 

“He wasn’t the right guy for me”, I say. 

Isabel doesn’t ask anymore questions as she tells me she’ll drop the kids from school and go home since I plan to spend all my time at the house today. 

xxx 

“Are you seated first of all?” Julie asks and with the way my nerves flay, I almost want to sit down from her words alone. 

“No, why?” 

“It’s a good thing you didn’t show up at the office too, Win. Everything’s been chaotic since morning. The board of directors aren’t too happy about what happened last night. They are worried it might impact the company’s image and drag it further down the mud.” 

What happened last night? 

Goddess, no.  

Does everyone know what happened on my date? 

“Okay, okay, you have to slow down and explain everything to me clearly Jules. What…what happened last night. What do you mean by that?”
“好吧，好吧，你得放慢速度，把一切都跟我解释清楚，Jules。 什么。。。 昨晚发生了什么。你这是什么意思？
“好吧，好吧，你得放慢速度，把一切都跟我解释清楚，Jules。 什么。。。 昨晚发生了什么。你这是什么意思？

Her silence that stretches for two minutes has me biting down on my nails nervously, “I’m going to send you pictures and before you see them and freak out, know that this is not your fault. The plan for your date with Alpha Kieran was going to work. No one would have thought your psychopathic ex would show up and start throwing fists.”