Recognize the importance of clear communication both at work and at home. 认识到在工作和家庭中清晰沟通的重要性。
Discover strategies for working with a varicty of people. 探索与不同人群合作的策略。
Learn how to develop a presentation. 学习如何制作演示文稿。
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. "对我来说，生命不是短暂的蜡烛。对我来说，生命不是一支短暂的蜡烛，而是一把绚丽的火炬，我暂时握住了它，我想在把它传给后代之前，尽可能让它燃烧得更旺。
What is going on here? Are two jewelers talking? Or maybe they’re surgeons - or tree planters. If you aren’t familiar with this card game, you probably don’t know this is the language of four bridge players bidding their hands. Sometimes even bridge players don’t understand what their partners are talking about! But how many times have you thought you understood what was being said only to find out that you didn’t have a clue? 这是怎么回事？两个珠宝商在说话吗？或者他们是外科医生，或者是植树者。如果您不熟悉这种纸牌游戏，您可能不知道这是四位桥牌手在叫牌时的语言。有时，即使是桥牌手也不明白他们的搭档在说什么！但有多少次，您以为自己听懂了对方在说什么，却发现自己根本不知道？
Communication is one of the most important skills we learn. It is one of the most valued skills employers look for in the people they hire. Effective communication builds careers, good marriages, partnerships, and relationships of all kinds. Conversely, poor communication can cause conflict, hurt feelings, confusion, and contribute to broken relationships. 沟通是我们学习的最重要的技能之一。它也是雇主在招聘员工时最看重的技能之一。有效的沟通可以成就事业、美好的婚姻、伙伴关系和各种关系。反之，不良的沟通会引发冲突、伤害感情、造成混乱，并导致关系破裂。
Because effective communication is so important, it is necessary for you to know as much about communication as you can. As your communication skills improve, so will your career and your relationships with others. 由于有效沟通如此重要，因此您有必要尽可能多地了解沟通方面的知识。随着沟通技巧的提高，你的事业和人际关系也会随之改善。
The Communication Model 沟通模式
With any communication there is a “sender” (the 任何通信都有一个 "发送方"（即
{:[" person sending or encoding the message or idea), and a "],[" "receiver" (the person receiving or decoding the "],[" message). It's similar to Morse code, in which a mes- "],[" sage is sent or encoded and then decoded by the "],[" receiver. "]:}\begin{aligned}
& \text { person sending or encoding the message or idea), and a } \\
& \text { "receiver" (the person receiving or decoding the } \\
& \text { message). It's similar to Morse code, in which a mes- } \\
& \text { sage is sent or encoded and then decoded by the } \\
& \text { receiver. }
\end{aligned}
With good communication, messages are received exactly as the sender intended. This happens when the “channels” of communication are clear. But sometimes those channels become blocked. Let’s see how that can happen. 在良好的沟通中，信息会完全按照发送者的意图被接收。当沟通的 "渠道 "畅通时，就会出现这种情况。但有时这些渠道会被堵塞。让我们来看看这种情况是如何发生的。
“It’s all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it now and then.” -Unknown "保持对话是对的，但你应该偶尔放手"-未知
Why We Don't All Hear the Same Thing! 为什么我们听到的不尽相同？
Communication is sent through a variety of channels. Notice the channels we use when we talk to someone face to face: 沟通是通过各种渠道进行的。请注意我们面对面交谈时使用的渠道：
Channels 渠道
Did you realize that the words we use make up only 7%7 \% of the message? Our tone of voice represents 38%38 \% of the message and is nonverbal. Our body language, also nonverbal, represents 55%55 \% of the message. That means the receiver decodes or interprets 93%93 \% of our message from our nonverbal signals! So you see, how we say something is at least as important as what we say. Some forms of nonverbal communication include: 你是否意识到，我们使用的词语只占信息的 7%7 \% ？我们的语气代表了信息的 38%38 \% ，属于非语言信息。我们的肢体语言也是非语言的，代表信息的 55%55 \% 。也就是说，接收者会从我们的非语言信号中解码或解释信息的 93%93 \% ！所以你看，我们说话的方式至少和我们说的话一样重要。非语言交流的一些形式包括 <=>\Leftrightarrow Posture <=>\Leftrightarrow 姿势 <=>\Leftrightarrow Facial expressions <=>\Leftrightarrow 面部表情 Theta\Theta Appearance Theta\Theta 外观 Theta\Theta Gestures Theta\Theta 手势 <=>\Leftrightarrow Tone of voice <=>\Leftrightarrow 语气
If you think it’s easy to send clear messages, try describing the word “blue” to a blind person. 如果你认为发送清晰的信息很容易，那就试着向盲人描述 "蓝色 "这个词。
Blue is: qquad\qquad 蓝色是 qquad\qquad qquad\qquad qquad\qquad
If you both know the color of a blue shirt or a blue sky, it’s easy to describe blue. But if you don’t have a similar frame of reference, misunderstandings can occur. 如果你们都知道蓝色衬衫或蓝天的颜色，就很容易描述蓝色。但如果你们没有相似的参照系，就会产生误解。
For example, when you say to a child, “Come home on time,” what understanding must you both share? 例如，当你对孩子说 "按时回家 "时，你们双方必须达成怎样的共识？
When you say, “I love you” to a friend, what understanding must you both share? 当你对朋友说 "我爱你 "时，你们双方必须有怎样的共识？
Because words have different meanings for all of us, we must be aware that our messages might be misunderstood. Whether we are the sender or the receiver, our message is filtered through the perceptions we have formed by our past experiences. Since none of us has had the same experiences, we don’t always see things the same way. 由于词语对我们每个人来说都有不同的含义，我们必须意识到我们的信息可能会被误解。无论我们是发信人还是收信人，我们的信息都是通过我们过去的经历所形成的观念过滤出来的。由于我们每个人的经历都不尽相同，因此我们看待事物的方式也不尽相同。
Below is a diagram of two of your co-workers trying to communicate. Notice the number of factors affecting their perspectives: 下图是您的两位同事试图沟通的示意图。请注意影响他们观点的因素数量：
What is the one experience we know they share? 我们知道他们共同的经历是什么？
If you wrote " workplace," you’re right. They may share other experiences, too. The more they share, the better their chances of understanding each other. It is important to recognize that our perceptions often differ from our coworkers’ because of our dissimilar backgrounds and experiences. 如果你写的是 "工作场所"，那就对了。他们还可能分享其他经历。他们分享的越多，彼此理解的机会就越大。重要的是要认识到，由于我们的背景和经历不同，我们的看法往往与同事不同。
“Yes, we put on our pants the same way, Hayward, , we put on our pants the same way, Hayw "是的，我们穿裤子的方式是一样的，海沃德，我们穿裤子的方式是一样的，海沃德。
but mine are a lot more expensive.” 但我的要贵得多"。
Learning from others’ experiences will make us better communicators. We must also strive to express ourselves clearly. Which pair of people do you think is doing the best job communicating? 学习他人的经验会让我们成为更好的沟通者。我们还必须努力清晰地表达自己。您认为哪一对人在沟通方面做得最好？
Which pair has the most in common? 哪一对的共同点最多？
Which pair will find communication easiest? 哪一对最容易沟通？
Think of someone at work with whom you communicate often who has little in common with you. Write that co-worker’s first name: 想一想在工作中经常与你交流但却没有什么共同点的人。写下这位同事的名字：
Look at the following list, and check which experiences you share: 看看下面的清单，看看你有哪些相同的经历：
Similar age 年龄相仿
Race 竞赛
Gender 性别
-quad-\quad
Family 家庭
-quad-\quad Education -quad-\quad 教育
Hometown 家乡
Hobbies 业余爱好
-quad-\quad Values -quad-\quad 值
Finances 财务
-quad-\quad Friends -quad-\quad 朋友
Similar age Race
Gender -quad
Family -quad Education
Hometown
Hobbies -quad Values
Finances -quad Friends| Similar age | Race |
| :--- | :--- |
| Gender | $-\quad$ |
| Family | $-\quad$ Education |
| Hometown | |
| Hobbies | $-\quad$ Values |
| Finances | $-\quad$ Friends |
Knowing these differences, how can you broaden your understanding of your co-worker and improve communication? For example, do you need to ask more questions? Do you need to share more about yourself? Write the steps you will take to improve communication: 了解了这些差异之后，您该如何扩大对同事的了解并改善沟通？例如，您是否需要问更多的问题？你需要更多地分享自己吗？请写出您将采取的改善沟通的步骤： qquad\qquad qquad\qquad qquad\qquad qquad\qquad
Think of someone at work with whom you have a great deal in common. Write that co-worker’s first name: 想一想在工作中与你有很多共同点的人。写下这位同事的名字：
Check the fields of experience you think you share: 检查您认为您拥有共同经验的领域：
Similar age 年龄相仿
Race 竞赛
Gender 性别
Education 教育
Family 家庭
Hometown 家乡
Hobbies 业余爱好
Values 价值观
Finances 财务
Friends 朋友
Similar age Race
Gender Education
Family Hometown
Hobbies Values
Finances Friends| Similar age | Race |
| :---: | :---: |
| Gender | Education |
| Family | Hometown |
| Hobbies | Values |
| Finances | Friends |
How well do you communicate with this co-worker? Having similar experiences does not eliminate differences of opinion, but it does improve your ability to understand each other. What are the advantages of communicating with co-workers who have a lot in common with you? 您与这位同事的沟通效果如何？拥有相似的经历并不能消除意见分歧，但却能提高你们相互理解的能力。与有很多共同点的同事沟通有什么好处？
What are the disadvantages? 有哪些缺点？
Research shows that our perceptions are generally developed by the time we’re seven years old. Perceptions are like sunglasses – they filter out what reaches our senses. 研究表明，我们的感知能力一般在七岁时就已经形成。感知就像太阳镜，会过滤掉我们感官上的东西。 qquad\qquad
“Counsel may object, but he may not whine.” "律师可以反对，但不能抱怨"。
Channels of Communication 交流渠道
Words 字数
Even though words make up only 7%7 \% of the face-to-face messages we send, they are nevertheless important in communication, especially when we speak over the telephone, write letters, or send e-mail. In what ways might words create confusion? List your ideas: 尽管语言只占我们面对面传递信息的 7%7 \% 部分，但它们在交流中仍然非常重要，尤其是当我们打电话、写信或发送电子邮件时。词语可能在哪些方面造成混乱？请列出你的想法：
1 .
2.
3.
3.
4. qquad\qquad
You may have said that technical terms can be confusing, since not everyone understands them. If you use a computer, you probably remember how hard it was – at first -to learn the jargon associated with it. It may have seemed like a whole new language! Other factors which might negatively affect verbal communication include: 您可能会说，技术术语可能会让人感到困惑，因为不是每个人都能理解它们。如果你使用电脑，你可能还记得一开始学习与电脑相关的专业术语有多难。这似乎是一种全新的语言！可能对语言交流产生负面影响的其他因素包括 <=>\Leftrightarrow Noise level. <=>\Leftrightarrow 噪音水平。
Not understanding the meaning of slang words. 不理解俚语的含义。 <=>\Leftrightarrow Not sharing common language. <=>\Leftrightarrow 没有共同语言。 Theta\Theta Hearing impairment. Theta\Theta 听力障碍。
“Your policy simply states, ‘A semiprivate room.’” "你们的政策只规定了'半私密病房'"
“People may doubt what you say, but they will always believe what you do.” -Unknown "人们可能会怀疑你说的话，但他们永远会相信你做的事"。-未知
So far in this segment, have there been any words you didn’t understand? Look back over the previous pages and underline those words. Write them below: 到目前为止，在这一环节中，有没有你不理解的单词？回顾前面几页，在下面划线。将它们写在下面：
◻\square Word ◻\square 字
Meaning or Definition 含义或定义
◻\square
◻\square
◻\square
◻\square
◻ Word Meaning or Definition
◻ ◻
◻ ◻| $\square$ Word | Meaning or Definition |
| :--- | :--- |
| $\square$ | $\square$ |
| $\square$ | $\square$ |
How can you find the meaning of these words? Of course, you could look them up in a dictionary, but will you? If you make a habit of looking up unfamiliar words, congratulations! If you don’t, try it! It’s one of the best ways to increase your vocabulary and to express yourself more effectively. 如何找到这些词的意思？当然，您可以查字典，但您会查吗？如果你养成了查陌生单词的习惯，那么恭喜你！如果没有，那就试试看！这是增加词汇量和更有效地表达自己的最好方法之一。
Begin today by looking up the definitions of the words you wrote above and writing their meanings next to them. Starting today, keep a dictionary – a small paperback will do – next to your work area or locker, along with a small tablet for jotting down new words and their meanings. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your vocabulary grows! 从今天开始，查一查上面所写单词的释义，并把它们的意思写在旁边。从今天起，在你的工作区或储物柜旁边放一本字典--一本小的平装书就可以了--还有一个小的记事本，用来记下新词及其含义。你会惊讶地发现自己的词汇量增长得如此之快！
Most businesses have a jargon of their own. Does your company use words unfamiliar to you? If so, are you hesitant to ask what they mean? It’s never too late to ask someone for help! Having the courage to ask for help is a sign of growth and maturity to your employer and co-workers. If there is no one to ask at the time you hear or think of new words, write those words in your tablet and ask later. List words used in your industry that are new to you. Include the name of the person you can ask for help: 大多数企业都有自己的行话。您的公司是否使用您不熟悉的词语？如果有，你是否犹豫是否要问它们是什么意思？向他人寻求帮助永远不会太晚！勇于向他人寻求帮助，对于你的雇主和同事来说，是成长和成熟的标志。如果在听到或想到新单词时没有人可以求助，那就把这些单词写在平板电脑上，以后再问。列出你所从事行业中的新词。包括您可以寻求帮助的人的姓名：
When you add these to your notebook, you are on your way to becoming a better communicator! 当你把这些添加到笔记本中时，你就会成为一个更好的沟通者！
One last word about words. Did you know that employees are often passed over for promotions because of their poor grammar? Unfair as that may sound, incorrect grammar labels people. Employers may assume that people who use poor grammar are poorly educated or not as competent as others. How would you rate your grammar? 最后再说说文字。你知道吗，员工常常因为语法不正确而得不到晋升。虽然这听起来不公平，但不正确的语法会给人贴上标签。雇主可能会认为语法不正确的人受教育程度低，或者能力不如别人。您如何评价自己的语法？
Here’s another opportunity for you to show your employer that you want to become a better employee: Ask him or her to correct your grammar. Share what you learn with children you care about. Growing up with good grammar helps us develop this habit, and it is one of the best gifts we can give our children. 这是你向雇主展示自己想成为更好员工的另一个机会：请他或她纠正你的语法。与你关心的孩子分享你学到的东西。在良好的语法环境中成长有助于我们养成这种习惯，这也是我们能送给孩子的最好礼物之一。
How can you increase your word-power? Do you need to: 如何提高你的文字表达能力？您是否需要 Theta\Theta Begin using a dictionary? Theta\Theta 开始使用字典？
Invest in a notebook for writing new words? 投资一本用于书写新单词的笔记本？
Ask for help with terms you don’t understand? 遇到不懂的术语时寻求帮助？ Theta\Theta Ask for help with your grammar? Theta\Theta 向别人寻求语法帮助？
Write an action step and the resource or person that might help you to accomplish it: 写出一个行动步骤，以及可能帮助你完成该步骤的资源或人员：
Tone of Voice 语气
What does tone of voice mean? What does tone of voice mean? What does tone of voice mean? If you read each of these sentences emphasizing the word that was underlined, you know that each sentence had a slightly different meaning. It’s amazing how a shift in emphasis can result in a totally different message. Read the following sentences out loud, placing emphasis each time on the underlined word. What does the sentence imply? 语音语调是什么意思？语音语调是什么意思？语音语调是什么意思？如果你在读这些句子时都强调了划线的那个词，你就会知道每个句子的意思都略有不同。令人惊讶的是，重音的改变会产生完全不同的信息。大声朗读下面的句子，每次都把重点放在划线的词上。句子暗示了什么？
Example: 例如
I didn’t say she broke the copy machine. 我没说她弄坏了复印机
Meaning: Somebody else must have said it. 意思是一定是别人说的。
I didn’t say she broke the copy machine. 我没说她弄坏了复印机
Meaning: qquad\qquad 意思是 qquad\qquad
I didn’t say she broke the copy machine. 我没说她弄坏了复印机
Meaning: 意思是
qquad\qquad
I didn’t say she broke the copy machine. 我没说她弄坏了复印机
Meaning: 意思是
qquad\qquad
Do you see how the meaning changed every time the voice 你看，每当声音
emphasis changed? When our words and tone of voice don’t match, our message may be misunderstood or we may sound like we’re being sarcastic. Think how tone of voice could affect the meaning of these sentences: 重点变了？当我们的语言和语气不一致时，我们的信息可能会被误解，或者听起来像是在讽刺别人。想一想语气如何影响这些句子的意思：
'My, don’t you look nice today?" '天哪，你今天看起来真漂亮'？
“I’m sorry.” "对不起"
“Thanks a lot for belping.” "非常感谢你打嗝"
Can you think of a time when you were misunderstood because of your tone of voice? Have you ever been grouchy or tired at work and let it affect the meaning of your message? 你能想到自己因为说话的语气而被误解的时候吗？你是否曾在工作中发脾气或感到疲倦，从而影响了你所传达信息的含义？
We sometimes offend people without meaning to. Think of a time when you had to apologize because your message sounded sarcastic or rude. Write that message below and underline the word or words you should have emphasized: 我们有时会无意中冒犯他人。想一想，你有过什么时候因为你的信息听起来讽刺或粗鲁而不得不道歉。请将该信息写在下面，并在你应该强调的词语下划线： qquad\qquad qquad\qquad qquad\qquad
“I know I said it was a partnership, Elwood, but it’s a limited partnership, and you’re the one who’s limited.” "我知道我说过这是合伙关系 埃伍德 但这是有限合伙 而你才是有限的"
Notice, too, how a smile affects your tone of voice. With a somber or serious face say aloud, “Wow, isn’t it great to be alive?!” Now try saying it with a smile on your face. Did you notice a change in your tone? If you work on the telephone, remember that a smile gives your voice a pleasing tone. 还要注意微笑如何影响你说话的语气。脸色阴沉或严肃时大声说："哇，活着真好！"现在试着带着微笑说这句话。你注意到自己语气的变化了吗？如果你在电话上工作，请记住，微笑会让你的声音变得悦耳动听。
Your words and tones need to match if you want your message to be understood correctly. So make your message: 如果你想让别人正确理解你的信息，你的语言和语调就必须匹配。因此，要让你的信息 <=>\Leftrightarrow Clear <=>\Leftrightarrow 清除 <=>\Leftrightarrow Positive <=>\Leftrightarrow 正面 <=>\Leftrightarrow To the point <=>\Leftrightarrow 直奔主题 <=>\Leftrightarrow Sincere <=>\Leftrightarrow 真诚 Theta\Theta Honest Theta\Theta 诚实 Theta\Theta Understandable Theta\Theta 可以理解
What are some ways you can improve the tone of your oice? Write an action step below: 有哪些方法可以改善您的办公语气？请在下面写出一个行动步骤： qquad\qquad qquad\qquad qquad\qquad
“Actions speaklouder than words and speak fewer lies.” "行胜于言，少说假话"。
-Anonymous -匿名
Body Language 身体语言
Picture this: 想象一下
Terry hands in his report. He’s worked hard on it and is eager to know if his boss will be 特里递交了他的报告。他为此付出了艰辛的努力，并急切地想知道他的老板是否会
impressed. As he sits in front of the boss’ desk, he hears, “Not bad, Terry. Thanks for completing this for me.” Terry is disappointed. 印象深刻。当他坐在老板的办公桌前时，他听到："不错，特里。谢谢你帮我完成这个任务"。特里很失望。
Why is Terry disappointed? Didn’t his boss say, “Not bad”? Sure, but Terry’s boss didn’t look him in the eye, didn’t smile, and didn’t sound enthusiastic. Terry wonders if he’s really met his boss’ expectations. 特里为什么失望？他的老板不是说 "不错 "吗？当然，但特里的老板没有看着他的眼睛，没有微笑，听起来也不热情。特里不知道自己是否真的达到了老板的期望。 Picture this: 想象一下
Angela hands in her report. She’s worked hard on it and is eager to know if her boss will be impressed. As she sits in front of the boss’ desk, she hears, “Not bad, Angela. Thanks for completing this for me.” Angela is pleased. Why? 安吉拉递交了她的报告。她为此付出了很多努力，很想知道老板是否会对她刮目相看。当她坐在老板的办公桌前时，她听到："不错，安吉拉。谢谢你帮我完成了这份报告。安吉拉很高兴。为什么呢？
Because while her boss said the same thing as Terry’s, her boss looked at her as he spoke, shook her hand, and smiled warmly. She knew he sincerely meant that she had done a good job. 因为虽然她的老板和特里的老板说了同样的话，但她的老板在说话时看着她，握着她的手，露出了温暖的微笑。她知道，他是真心认为她做得很好。
an you see how important nonverbals are to effective 你会发现非谓语动词对有效地
communication? Our nonverbals must match our 交流？我们的非口头语言必须与我们的
words. We can underscore what we’re saying by adding body language, facial expression and tone of voice. 话。我们可以通过肢体语言、面部表情和语调来强调我们所说的话。
How effective are your nonverbals? Answer the following questions: 您的非谓语效果如何？请回答以下问题：
Yes No 是 否
qquad\qquad When I say something serious, I have a serious expression on my face. qquad\qquad 当我说一些严肃的话时，我的脸上会露出严肃的表情。 qquad\qquad qquad\qquad When I am giving praise, I smile. qquad\qquad 当我给予表扬时，我会面带微笑。 qquad\qquad When I meet people, I shake their hands. qquad\qquad 当我遇到别人时，我会和他们握手。 qquad\qquad When I meet people, I look them in the eye. qquad\qquad 当我见到别人时，我会看着他们的眼睛。 qquad\qquad When I am listening to someone, my face is attentive. qquad\qquad 当我倾听别人说话时，我的表情是专注的。 ◻\square When I am giving suggestions, I look the listener in the eye.When I express concern, my face shows genuine kindness. ◻\square 当我提出建议时，我会注视着倾听者的眼睛；当我表示关切时，我的脸上会流露出真诚的亲切。
If you don’t know whether your nonverbals match what you are saying, ask a co-worker to watch you for a week or so, evaluating the effectiveness of your nonverbals. Good communicators are not only skilled at using words, they’re also aware of the importance of nonverbal communication. They learn to use it effectively. 如果你不知道你的非肢体语言是否与你所说的一致，可以请一位同事观察你一周左右，评估你的非肢体语言的效果。优秀的沟通者不仅善于使用语言，他们也意识到非语言沟通的重要性。他们学会有效地使用非语言沟通。
The Surprise Communication Skill 出其不意的沟通技巧
One communication skill is valued above all others. Let’s see if you value it, too. Below list the names of your closest friends and co-workers: 有一种沟通技巧的价值高于一切。让我们看看您是否也重视它。下面列出您最亲密的朋友和同事的名字：
My Closest Friends and Co-Workers 我最亲密的朋友和同事
Name 名称
Name 名称
Name 名称
Name 名称
Name 名称
Name 名称
Name Name
Name Name
Name Name| Name | Name |
| :--- | :--- |
| Name | Name |
| Name | Name |
Look at your list and ask yourself if you appreciate these people because they are great speakers – or listeners. If you’re like most people, you have listed people who, while good conversationalists, are really best at listening attentively. It has been said that listening is a sign of loving. If that is true, what greater gift can we give to those we care about than the willingness to listen? 看看你的名单，问问自己，你欣赏这些人是因为他们是出色的演讲者，还是聆听者。如果你和大多数人一样，你所列出的人虽然善于交谈，但真正最擅长的是认真倾听。有人说，倾听是爱的表现。如果这是真的，我们还能给我们关心的人什么比愿意倾听更大的礼物呢？
If listening is such a great communication skill, why isn’t everyone doing it? Why aren’t we better at listening? Reason 1. qquad\qquad 如果倾听是一项如此重要的沟通技巧，为什么不是每个人都在做？为什么我们不善于倾听？原因 1. qquad\qquad
Reason 2. qquad\qquad 原因 2. qquad\qquad
Reason 3. qquad\qquad 原因 3. qquad\qquad
Reason 4. qquad\qquad 原因 4. qquad\qquad
Perhaps you listed such reasons as: 也许你列出的理由有 Theta\Theta We’re in a hurry. Theta\Theta 我们赶时间。
We are busy thinking of what we’re going to say next. 我们忙着思考下一句要说什么。
We’re worrying about other things. 我们担心的是其他事情。
There’s too much noise and we can’t hear. 噪音太大，我们听不见。
We don’t honestly care. 老实说，我们并不在乎。
We’re bored. 我们很无聊
We can’t concentrate. 我们无法集中精力。
While some of these may be valid reasons, are they good enough to keep us from listening to a supervisor’s directions? Or listening to team members’ brainstorming ideas? Or listening to a co-worker’s confidences? Or listening to a child tell about his/her day at school? Or listening to a spouse’s concerns about how to pay the bills? 虽然其中一些原因可能是合理的，但它们足以让我们不听从主管的指示吗？或者倾听团队成员集思广益的想法？或者倾听同事的倾诉？或者倾听孩子讲述他/她在学校的一天？或者倾听配偶对如何支付账单的担忧？
Good listeners try to tune out distractions and pay careful attention to what the speaker is saying. 好的听众会尽量排除干扰，仔细聆听发言者的讲话。
“Larry, Larry, Larry! You’re trying to waltz to a rock and roll song!” "拉里，拉里，拉里！你想跳摇滚华尔兹！"
Opportunities are often missed because we are broadcasting when we should be listening." 我们往往错失良机，因为我们应该倾听的时候却在广播"。
-Anonymous -匿名
If you want to learn one skill that will improve both your job performance and your relationships with others, improve your ability to listen. Here are some ways to begin increasing your listening skills: 如果你想学习一种既能提高工作绩效又能改善人际关系的技能，那就提高你的倾听能力吧。以下是一些开始提高倾听技巧的方法：
Tips for Good Listening: 善于倾听的技巧
& Give the speaker your undivided attention. & 全神贯注地听讲。
Look directly at the speaker. 直视发言者。
Avoid judging the speaker as she/he speaks. 避免在发言者发言时对其进行评判。
Listen for the “big picture.” Concentrate on more than the facts, and watch for the nonverbal signs that may tell you more than the words do. Is the speaker fidgeting? Blushing? Biting her lip? 聆听 "全局"。除了事实之外，还要集中精力，注意非语言迹象，这些迹象可能比言语更能说明问题。发言者是否坐立不安？脸红吗？咬嘴唇？
Listen to the speaker’s voice. People often reveal their true feelings through their tone of voice. For example, rapid speech may mean the speaker is nervous. 倾听说话者的声音。人们往往会通过说话的语气透露自己的真实感受。例如，语速过快可能意味着说话者很紧张。
Take notes. It shows you are interested and helps you remember important points. 做笔记。这表明你很感兴趣，并有助于你记住重要内容。
Listen actively. Nod. Smile. Use your eyes to show surprise, delight, or other appropriate emotions. Give verbal feedback such as, “Mmmhm. Oh.” 积极倾听。点头微笑。用眼神表达惊讶、喜悦或其他适当的情绪。给予口头反馈，如 "嗯。哦"。
Ask questions. 提出问题。
Rephrase what the speaker has said to be sure you have understood correctly. 重述说话者的话，以确保您理解正确。
Most companies want to create a climate in which rumors and gossip cannot grow. Nothing can be as damaging as a grapevine of gossip and rumors. (See Work Culture Guidebook.) Employees who grow with the company listen for the facts – and are careful about what they tell co-workers. Before “carrying” a message, ask yourself these vital questions: 大多数公司都希望营造一种谣言和流言无法滋生的氛围。没有什么比小道消息和谣言更具破坏性了。(请参阅《工作文化指南》。）与公司共同成长的员工会倾听事实真相，并谨慎对待他们告诉同事的信息。在 "传递 "信息之前，先问问自己这些重要的问题：
Is it true? (Are you sure it’s accurate?) 是真的吗？(你确定准确吗？）
Is it kind? (Will it hurt someone?) 它善良吗？(会伤害别人吗？） <=>\Leftrightarrow Is it necessary? (Must it be said?) <=>\Leftrightarrow 有必要吗？(一定要说吗？）
It’s interesting that while the number one fear in America is public speaking, the most valued communication skill is listening. Becoming a good listener is easier said than done. It takes more practice than you might think. What can you do to increase your listening skills? Do you need to: 有趣的是，虽然美国人的头号恐惧是公开演讲，但最值得重视的沟通技巧却是倾听。要成为一名优秀的倾听者，说起来容易做起来难。它需要比你想象中更多的练习。怎样才能提高倾听技巧？您需要
Start taking notes? 开始做笔记？
Concentrate on looking at the speaker? 专心听演讲？
Remember to put aside all distractions? 记得抛开一切杂念吗？
Consciously put forth more effort? 有意识地付出更多努力？
Write an action step to improve your listening skills: 写一个提高倾听技巧的行动步骤： qquad\qquad qquad\qquad
"Hi. I’m the bluebird of inside info "嗨，我是内部信息的青鸟
Action Plan 行动计划
We can all improve our communication skills. There’s so much for us to learn. We can make our messages clearer. We can listen with better understanding. What can you do to begin increasing your skills both as a speaker and a listener? Do you need to: 我们都可以提高沟通技巧。有太多的东西值得我们学习。我们可以让我们的信息更清晰。我们可以更好地倾听，更好地理解。作为一名演讲者和聆听者，你可以做些什么来提高自己的技能？你需要
Buy a dictionary? 买一本字典？
Learn your company’s “language” or “jargon”? 学习贵公司的 "语言 "或 "行话"？
Videotape yourself to see if your nonverbals match your verbal language? 给自己录像，看看自己的非口头语言是否与口头语言一致？
@ Remove distractions when you are listening? @ 消除聆听时的杂念？
“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears by listening to them.” "说服他人的最佳方式之一就是用耳朵倾听"。
-Dean Rusk
Since improving communication skills is a lifelong challenge, some of your goals will be ongoing. Other goals, such as videotaping yourself or buying a dictionary, you can accomplish at once. Review the action steps you have written throughout this segment. Record the most important ones below along with completion dates: 由于提高沟通技巧是一项终身挑战，因此有些目标将是持续性的。其他目标，如给自己录像或买字典，则可以一次性完成。回顾一下你在本部分中写的行动步骤。将最重要的行动步骤和完成日期记录在下面：
Action Steps
Completion Date 行动步骤 完成日期
1 .
2.
3. qquad\qquad
“In the news, all the nation’s ‘highly reliable sources’ were downgraded to ‘usually reliable sources.’” "在新闻中，全国所有'高度可靠的消息来源'都被降级为'通常可靠的消息来源'"。
Summary 摘要
Humans are capable of using verbal and nonverbal skills to communicate with each other. Every communication involves a sender and a receiver. Misunderstandings often occur because all of our perceptions are colored by our own, unique experiences. To become more effective communicators, we need to: 人类能够使用语言和非语言技能进行交流。每一次交流都涉及一个发送方和一个接收方。误解经常发生，因为我们所有的感知都受到自己独特经历的影响。为了成为更有效的沟通者，我们需要 Theta\Theta Understand that we communicate with people whose experiences are different from our own. Theta\Theta 理解我们与经历与自己不同的人交流。
Increase our vocabulary and our “business language.” 增加我们的词汇量和 "商业语言"。
Match our tone of voice with the meaning of our words. 让我们的语气与我们话语的含义相匹配。
Match our nonverbals with our verbal messages. 将我们的非口头语言与我们的口头信息相匹配。
Ask questions. 提出问题。
Become better listeners. 成为更好的倾听者。
Good communication opens the door for you to share your experiences - and to appreciate the experiences of others. It enables you to increase your knowledge of the world. As you become a better communicator, you not only become more valuable to your employer, but to the people with whom you work and live. It is a lifelong learning process. The only way you can accomplish this goal is to learn-by-doing, taking small steps every day. You need a sense of urgency because increasing communication skills will make the biggest impact on your success in the world of work. No one else can make you a better communicator; you own this responsibility. As you grow in your ability to communicate with others, so will your leadership skills, your self-confidence, and the motivation to continually improve. 良好的沟通为你打开了一扇门，让你能够分享自己的经验，并欣赏他人的经验。它使你能够增加对世界的了解。当你成为一个更好的沟通者时，你不仅对你的雇主更有价值，而且对与你一起工作和生活的人也更有价值。这是一个终身学习的过程。实现这一目标的唯一途径就是在实践中学习，每天迈出一小步。你需要有紧迫感，因为提高沟通技巧将对你在职场上取得成功产生最大的影响。没有人可以让你成为一个更好的沟通者，你自己要承担起这个责任。随着你与他人沟通能力的提高，你的领导技能、自信心和不断进步的动力也会随之提高。
Picture this: 想象一下
Preface: 序言
As you complete this segment: 当您完成这一部分时
You will understand what assertiveness means. 您将明白自信的含义。
You will gain tools that will help you get your needs met. 您将获得帮助您满足需求的工具。
You will learn how to positively manage conflict. 您将学会如何积极处理冲突。
You will learn an effective tool for controlling anger. 你将学会一种控制愤怒的有效工具。
“Vigorous let us be in attaining out ends, and mild in our method of attainment.” "让我们在实现目标时充满活力，在我们实现目标的方法上保持温和"。
-Lord Newborough -纽伯勒勋爵
agaPicture this: agaPicture this：
Jan works the day shift on a production line. When she comes home at night she’s exhausted, and she knows she has dinner to prepare, clothes to fold, and preparations to make for the next day. As she enters the house she sees coats and boots on the floor, books and mail on the countertop, and hears the television blaring from the living room. In seconds her family demands dinner, her son wants money for a scouting trip, and her daughter wants the baby to stop bothering her. Jan hangs her coat and begins another long, hectic evening at home. 简在生产线上上白班。晚上回到家，她已经筋疲力尽，她知道自己还要准备晚餐、叠衣服，以及为第二天做准备。一进家门，她就看到地上放着大衣和靴子，台面上放着书和信件，还听到客厅里电视机的声音。几秒钟后，她的家人要吃晚饭，儿子要钱去童子军旅行，女儿要孩子别再烦她。简挂上外套，开始了又一个漫长而忙碌的夜晚。
who is ill. No way is Randy visiting his mother-inlaw again! Randy and his wife argue. Randy blows up, packs his bags, and storms off to the lake. 她病了兰迪不可能再去看望岳母了！兰迪和妻子争吵起来。兰迪勃然大怒，收拾好行李，冲向湖边。
Picture this: 想象一下
It’s the third year Cheryl’s company has held a retreat. Although the focus is on training, a dinner and dance at a nice hotel are also included. For two years in a row, the bookkeeping team has asked Cheryl to remain behind to keep the office open and answer the telephone. She has agreed in the past, but this year when they ask her, she surprises even herself by telling them off and quitting her job. 这是谢丽尔的公司第三年举办务虚会。虽然重点是培训，但也包括在一家不错的酒店共进晚餐和跳舞。连续两年来，记账团队都要求谢丽尔留下来维持办公室的正常运转并接听电话。她过去都同意了，但今年当他们要求她时，她却出人意料地告诉他们，她辞职了。
What is wrong with these pictures? Can you see yourself in any of them? Some of us, like Jan, accept too much responsibility in our desire to avoid conflict. Others of us tend to let anger and resentment get the best of us, like Randy and Cheryl. 这些照片有什么问题？你能从中看到自己吗？我们中的一些人，就像扬一样，为了避免冲突而承担了太多的责任。有些人则会让愤怒和怨恨冲昏头脑，比如兰迪和谢丽尔。
“In most cases all an argument proves is that two people are present.” "在大多数情况下，争论只能证明两个人在场"。
Recession Note: A little voice deep within him prevented him from telling off the boss. 衰退记：他内心深处有一个小小的声音，阻止他向老板告状。
To Fight or Not to Fight 打还是不打
How do you react to real or potential conflict? Evaluate the statements below with a score as follows: 您如何应对现实或潜在的冲突？请对下面的陈述进行评估，并打分如下：
4=Always, 3=Often, 2=Sometimes, 4=总是，3=经常，2=偶尔、 1=1= Rarely, 0=0= Never 1=1= 很少， 0=0= 从不
When faced with real or possible conflict you: 面对现实或可能发生的冲突时，你
qquad\qquad Avoid the person. qquad\qquad 避开这个人。
◻\square Change the subject. ◻\square 换个话题。
Try to understand the other person’s point of view. 试着理解对方的观点。
4.Fight it out physically. 4.身体对抗。
qquad\qquad Threaten the other person. qquad\qquad 威胁对方。
6 . qquad\qquad Try to turn the conflict into a joke. 6 . qquad\qquad 尝试把冲突变成一个笑话。
7 _ Attempt to narrow the conflict to a specific point of agreement. 7 _ 尝试将冲突缩小到具体的一致点。
8 . qquad\qquad Try to find a solution or reach a compromise. 8 . qquad\qquad 尝试找到解决方案或达成妥协。
9 qquad\qquad Make accusations. 9 qquad\qquad 提出指控。
10 . qquad\qquad View the conflict as a communication breakdown 10 . qquad\qquad 将冲突视为沟通障碍
11.Admit you are wrong even if you don’t believe it. 11.即使不相信，也要承认自己错了。 qquad\qquad Exaggerate. qquad\qquad 夸张。
13. qquad\qquad Give in to avoid hard feelings. 13. qquad\qquad 让步，以免引起不快。
14. qquad\qquad Concentrate on the issue rather than the person. 14. qquad\qquad 专注于问题而不是人。
15. qquad\qquad See the 15. qquad\qquad 参见
16.Yell at the other person. 16.冲对方大喊大叫。 qquad\qquad Refuse to listen. You know you’re right. qquad\qquad 拒绝倾听。你知道你是对的。
18.Pretend to agree. 18.假装同意。
19. - Get another person to decide who is right. 19.- 让另一个人来决定谁是对的。
20. qquad\qquad Respect the other person’s opinions even if they’re different from yours. 20. qquad\qquad 尊重对方的意见，即使这些意见与你的不同。
21. Manipulate with guilt. 21.用内疚来操纵。 ◻\square Simply state your feelings directly and honestly. ◻\square 只需直接、诚实地说出你的感受。
23.Apologize for having a different opinion. 23.为自己的不同意见道歉。
24 . qquad\qquad Use sarcasm. 24 . qquad\qquad 使用讽刺。
Write your score from each statement in the corresponding space below: 请在下面相应的空白处写下您在每项陈述中的得分：
Add the scores in the Passive column, the Aggressive column, and the Assertive column. Write the totals for each column below: 将 "被动 "栏、"进取 "栏和 "自信 "栏的分数相加。将各栏的总分写在下面：
Total Passive Score qquad\qquad 被动总分 qquad\qquad
Total Aggressive Score qquad\qquad 攻击性总分 qquad\qquad
Total Assertive Score 自信心总分
Your highest number indicates how you tend to deal with conflict. We all behave passively, aggressively, or assertively at one time or another. Each type of behavior can be appropriate under certain situations. Let’s look at each of them. 你的最高数字表示你倾向于如何处理冲突。我们每个人或多或少都会有被动、主动或果断的行为。在某些情况下，每种行为都是适当的。让我们分别来看看。
Aggressive Behavior 攻击性行为
When we are aggressive, we are using the “fight” behavior. We stand up for our rights and interests in a hostile, blaming, or threatening way. A diagram of aggressive behavior looks like this: 当我们咄咄逼人时，我们使用的是 "战斗 "行为。我们以敌对、指责或威胁的方式来维护自己的权益。攻击性行为的示意图如下
Outcome == Win/Lose or Lose/Lose 结果 == 赢/输或输/输
Aggressive behavior is used when you want to win at any cost. It results in a win/lose situation, meaning you win, the other person loses. More often, it results in a lose/lose proposition. For example, when Randy yelled and stomped off to the lake, weren’t he and his wife both losers? When Cheryl told her co-workers off – and then quit her job – did she come out a winner? These two examples represent lose/lose situations. 当你想不惜一切代价取胜时，就会使用攻击性行为。这会造成双输的局面，即你赢，对方输。更常见的情况是，它会导致两败俱伤。例如，当兰迪嚷嚷着跺脚去湖边时，他和他的妻子不都是输家吗？当谢丽尔向同事告状，然后辞职时，她是赢家吗？这两个例子代表了输/输的情况。
Aggressive behavior is often a knee-jerk reaction to potential conflict. Our hearts pump faster, our blood flow increases, and stress hormones flow from our adrenal glands. This was an appropriate response for cavemen attacked by wild animals. It can also help us defend ourselves today in threatening situations. 攻击性行为往往是对潜在冲突的膝盖反应。我们的心跳加快，血流量增加，肾上腺分泌应激激素。这是被野兽袭击的穴居人的适当反应。如今，它也能帮助我们在受到威胁时保护自己。
But aggressive behavior is not always appropriate. Can you think of a time when you or someone you know used aggression to confront conflict? Describe the situation: 但是，攻击性行为并不总是恰当的。你能想到你或你认识的人曾经用攻击性行为来对抗冲突吗？描述一下当时的情况：
The down side to aggressive behavior is that it often makes the conflict worse and weakens our important relationships. That’s why many of us will avoid conflict at any cost. When we do this, we’re exhibiting passive behavior. 攻击性行为的坏处在于，它往往会使冲突变得更加严重，并削弱我们的重要关系。这就是为什么我们中的许多人会不惜一切代价避免冲突。当我们这样做时，我们就表现出了被动行为。
“Come in. Take off your coat. Sit down. Tell me why you’ve come. Get up. Take your coat. Leave.” 请进脱掉外套请坐告诉我你为什么来起来拿上外套离开。"
Passive Behavior 被动行为
Passive behavior involves the avoidance of conflict. We can be passive by either physically walking away or mentally refusing to confront the issue. Passive behavior means giving up your rights and interests by not expressing your honest feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. 被动行为包括避免冲突。我们可以通过身体上的逃避或精神上的拒绝来消极面对问题。被动行为意味着放弃自己的权利和利益，不表达自己真实的感受、想法和信念。
Isn’t this what Jan did when she arrived home from work? Did Jan honestly express her needs to her family? Did she ask them to help share in the responsibilities of preparing dinner and tidying up the house? No, she allowed the needs of her family to come before her own. A diagram of passive behavior looks like this: 杨下班回家后不就是这样做的吗？简有没有诚实地向家人表达自己的需求？她有没有让家人帮忙分担准备晚餐和收拾房间的责任？没有，她让家人的需求凌驾于自己的需求之上。被动行为的示意图是这样的：
Outcome == Lose/Win or Lose/Lose 结果 == 输/赢或输/输
Can you understand how passive behavior can result in a lose/win relationship, meaning you lose and the other person wins? You actually give the win to the other person by not expressing your interests. That’s what Jan does when she allows her family to take advantage of her. When she acts like a martyr, do you think her family respects her? Jan may think she is doing her family a favor, but no one is learning responsibility. So Jan’s family loses, too. 你能理解被动行为是如何导致一种 "输/赢 "关系（即你输而对方赢）的吗？你不表达自己的兴趣爱好，实际上是让对方赢了。这就是珍让家人占她便宜的行为。当她表现得像个烈士时，你认为她的家人会尊重她吗？简也许认为自己是在帮家人的忙，但没有人学会承担责任。所以，简的家人也输了。
Think of a time when you or someone you know used passive behavior which resulted in a lose/win or a lose/lose situation. Describe the situation: 想一想，你或你认识的人曾在什么时候使用被动行为，导致了双输或双输的局面。描述一下当时的情况： qquad\qquad qquad\qquad qquad\qquad
If you have a tendency to react passively to most situations, others may attempt to manipulate you. Once you get “fed up” with others taking advantage of your passive nature, you may become aggressive. This is called passiveaggressive behavior, and it always results in a lose/lose situation. That’s what Cheryl allowed to happen. 如果你在大多数情况下都有被动反应的倾向，别人就会试图操纵你。一旦你 "受够了 "别人利用你的被动天性，你就会变得咄咄逼人。这就是所谓的被动攻击行为，其结果总是两败俱伤。这就是谢丽尔允许发生的事情。
Passive-Aggressive Behavior 被动攻击行为
In passive-aggressive behavior, you avoid a direct response to the conflict, but you get even one way or another. Passive-aggressive behavior can be identified by sarcasm, sniping, name-calling, back-stabbing, and sabotage. The “silent treatment” is an excellent example of passive-aggressive behavior. 在被动攻击行为中，你会避免对冲突做出直接回应，但你会以某种方式达到目的。被动攻击行为可以通过讽刺、挖苦、辱骂、背后捅刀子和破坏来识别。沉默对待 "就是被动攻击行为的一个很好的例子。
Identify a time when you or someone you know used passive-aggressive behavior to avoid a conflict: 找出一次你或你认识的人使用消极攻击行为来避免冲突的情况：
In both passive and aggressive behaviors, at least one person comes away from the conflict feeling like a loser. Is it possible for both parties to come out winners? Yes! -through assertive behavior. 无论是被动行为还是主动行为，至少有一方会在冲突中感觉自己是输家。有可能让双方都成为赢家吗？有！--通过自信的行为。
Assertive Behavior 自信行为
Assertive behavior means standing up for your rights and interests and expressing your thoughts, wishes, and needs in honest, direct, and helpful ways. 自信的行为意味着坚持自己的权利和利益，以诚实、直接和有益的方式表达自己的想法、愿望和需求。
Assertiveness demands that you: 自信要求你
Respect yourself. 尊重自己。
Express your needs. 表达您的需求。
Defend your rights. 捍卫你的权利
Respect the needs, rights, and interests of others. 尊重他人的需求、权利和利益。
A diagram of assertive behavior looks like this: 自信行为的示意图是这样的
Outcome == Win/Win 结果 == 赢/赢
“A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it’s an undo-it-yourself project.” -Abigail Van Buren "坏习惯永远不会奇迹般地消失，它是一项自己动手的工程"。阿比盖尔-范布伦
Why Be Assertive? 为什么要自信？
There are several good reasons to practice assertiveness: 练习自信有几个很好的理由：
To feel good about yourself and your ability to handle life’s challenges. 让自己感觉良好，有能力应对生活中的挑战。
To be respected by others 受到他人尊重
To establish positive relationships. 建立积极的关系。
To have control over your emotions and behavior. 控制自己的情绪和行为
To avoid being a victim. 避免成为受害者
To achieve win/win outcomes. 实现双赢。
To have your needs met. 满足你的需求
There is one more important reason: Assertive behavior will help you advance on your job. 还有一个重要原因：自信的行为会帮助你在工作中不断进步。
Notice how these various behaviors are displayed in the workplace. Watch the Y.E.S. Video to see situations that illustrate each of the behaviors we have discussed. 注意这些不同行为在工作场所的表现。观看 "Y.E.S.视频"，了解我们所讨论的每种行为的具体情况。
“We’re not that different, Larry. "我们并没有什么不同，拉里。
You want a better agent and I want a better actor.” 你想要一个更好的经纪人，我想要一个更好的演员"。
“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.” "世界上一半的人有话要说却说不出来 另一半的人无话可说却一直在说"
-Robert Frost 罗伯特-弗罗斯特
Guidelines for Assertive Communication 自信交流指南
Stephen’s message was clearly communicated when he spoke assertively. Remember these guidelines for assertive communication: 当司提反以自信的口吻说话时，他所传达的信息是清晰的。请记住这些自信沟通的准则：
Look directly at the other person without staring. 直视对方，不要盯着对方看。
Speak distinctly and firmly. 说话要清晰、坚定。
Express your thoughts and feelings honestly and directly. 诚实、直接地表达自己的想法和感受。
Be clear about what you want. 清楚自己想要什么。
Be polite and use humor, if appropriate. 要有礼貌，适当使用幽默。
Listen closely and ask questions. 仔细聆听并提出问题。
Express honest concern for the other person. 真诚地表达对对方的关心。
@ Remember not to zap, blame, or resort to namecalling. @ 切记不要抨击、指责或谩骂。
Be firm about what you need, but be flexible about solutions. 对自己的需求要坚定，但对解决方案要灵活。
Assertiveness Tools 自信工具
There are a variety of ways to express yourself when you want your needs met and you want to achieve a win/win situation. 当你希望自己的需求得到满足，希望实现双赢时，有多种表达方式。
Picture this: 想象一下
