Work Text: 作品文本：
“There is nothing going on between me and Michael. Our relationship is strictly professional in the sense that we are teammates and nothing else.”
“我和Michael之间没有任何事情发生。我们的关系纯粹是职业上的，我们是队友，仅此而已。”
The cameras flashed into his eyes, bouncing off the conference room walls, leaving burning images of white as the words escaped his lips, a stale taste remained on his tongue. He felt like a puppet on a stage, like somebody else was controlling the strings.
闪光灯在他眼前闪烁，反射在会议室的墙壁上，留下灼热的白色影像，当话语从他唇间溜走时，舌尖上残留着陈腐的味道。他感觉自己像舞台上的木偶，仿佛有别人在操控着提线。
“Can you explain the viral image, then, of what appears to be you and Mr. Kaiser sharing a kiss in what has confirmed to be a gay bar?”
“那么，你能解释一下那张在同性恋酒吧里，似乎是你和Kaiser先生接吻的病毒式传播图片吗？”
“That was me, Sir,” Kaiser interjected, answering to a nameless face behind a camera, blended in with the unknown sea people. “Everybody knows I’ve slept with anything that has two legs and a pretty face, so why are you acting surprised? Are you new to this or something? Nobody ran it by you on your first day at this job that Michael Kaiser is a slu—”
"“那是我，先生，”Kaiser插话道，对着镜头后一张无名的面孔回答，混杂在茫茫人海中。“大家都知道我睡过任何有两条腿和漂亮脸蛋的东西，所以你为什么表现得这么惊讶？你是新来的还是怎么的？没人告诉你第一天上班时Michael Kaiser是个荡——”
“Michael,” his manager hissed beside him. “Answer the question.”
“Michael，”他的经纪人低声在他耳边咆哮，“回答问题。”
“It wasn’t Yoichi I was with. You are mistaken.”
“我和Yoichi不是一起的。你搞错了。”
Isagi was two seconds away from choking on his own lungs that were about to fail. The problem is that it was Isagi. In the photo that leaked to millions of people around the world, meant to be private, Isagi and Kaiser were sharing a kiss—one filled with drunkenness, yes, but also intimacy, love, and promise that had sealed the night of their engagement. He and Kaiser vowed to be together, and they spent the entire day celebrating with their friends, but only to wake up to this horror the morning after, this chilling reality that nobody would accept this kind of love. Their love, it was invalid.
Isagi差点因为肺部即将衰竭而窒息。问题在于，照片中的人是Isagi。那张泄露给全球数百万人的照片本应是私密的，Isagi和Kaiser在照片中分享了一个吻——是的，充满了醉意，但也充满了亲密、爱意和承诺，封存了他们订婚之夜的美好。他和Kaiser发誓要在一起，他们与朋友们庆祝了一整天，却没想到第二天早上醒来面对的是这样的恐怖现实，没有人会接受这种爱。他们的爱，被视为无效。
Isagi was a lifeless doll in his seat. His eyes turned black and unblinking, his insides cold.
Isagi 坐在座位上，如同一个没有生命的玩偶。他的眼睛变得漆黑无光，一动不动，内心冰冷。
“And do you confirm this, Yoichi Isagi? That it wasn’t you?”
“你确认这一点吗，Yoichi Isagi？这不是你做的，对吗？”
He did not dare look at Kaiser. No. Because if he did, then everything he held back would tumble over and spill. The truth would roll off his tongue and ruin their careers. It is impossible for Isagi to lie when his gaze is locked on Kaiser’s— like last night, when he was down on one knee asking Yoichi to be his husband a million times over. Isagi wonders, what if he had gone that route—spilled everything in a flash of anger and tears? Stood up for himself, for the possibility that he could change something? Would the risk be worth it? Is their love worth risking their passion and dreams? Everything that they worked so hard for?
他不敢看Kaiser。不。因为如果他看了，那么他一直压抑的一切都会倾泻而出。真相会从他口中滚落，毁掉他们的职业生涯。当Isagi的目光锁定在Kaiser身上时，他无法撒谎——就像昨晚，他单膝跪地，无数次请求Yoichi成为他的丈夫。Isagi思索着，如果他选择了那条路——在愤怒和泪水中倾诉一切，为自己挺身而出，为改变某些事情的可能性而奋斗，风险是否值得？他们的爱是否值得冒险牺牲他们的激情和梦想？他们为之如此努力的一切？
Would it be worth it, Michael? Loving me freely?
值得吗，Michael？自由地爱我？
—do not look at him, Isagi.
—别看他，Isagi。
He can lie to the cameras and the worthless people prying into their lives. His response is mechanical and practiced.
他可以对镜头和那些窥探他们生活的无足轻重的人撒谎。他的回答机械而熟练。
“I do.” “我愿意。”
–
“Michael, don’t.” “Michael, 别这样。”
A gentle hand had come to rest on his lower back as soon as they popped out of view, into the hallway, but it was uncomfortable. “Don’t do this right now.”
一只温柔的手在他们刚一走出视线，进入走廊时便轻轻搭在了他的腰间，但这让他感到不适。“现在别这么做。”
A sour expression blurred Kaiser’s face, he was obviously still worn out from the conference. The effects of the day’s downfall dragged him so deep that somehow he looked years older than he did last night, when Isagi had sworn that man became a light that couldn’t be put out.
一个苦涩的表情模糊了Kaiser的脸，他显然仍因会议而疲惫不堪。这一天的挫败感将他拖得如此之深，以至于他看起来比昨晚老了许多，那时Isagi曾发誓那个人成了无法熄灭的光芒。
But even the sun will die at some point.
但即使是太阳，也终将在某一刻消逝。
“So it’s just Michael now?” The hand tightened on his lower back, fisting his formal vest, wrinkling the expensive suit that Isagi didn’t even buy—he really was somebody else’s doll, huh?
“所以现在就只是Michael了？”那只手在他腰间收紧，攥皱了他正式的背心，弄皱了Isagi甚至没买的那套昂贵西装——他真的成了别人的玩偶，是吧？
Isagi cringed. “Just— not here .”
Isagi畏缩了一下。“只是——别在这里。”
He and Kaiser were going to be taxied to separate hotels, anyway. It seemed that they shouldn’t even be seen as a pair in public anymore. Isagi wonders what else would change, if Kaiser would still be allowed to kiss his cheek when he scores a goal.
他和Kaiser无论如何都会被送到不同的酒店。似乎他们甚至不应该再在公共场合被视为一对。Isagi想知道还有什么会改变，如果Kaiser在他进球时还能否亲吻他的脸颊。
Isagi chokes on his attempt to swallow the thoughts down his throat. He began to turn away, deeming he must leave before he shatters completely in front of Kaiser, the love of his life. But suddenly his panicked voice was muffled by a hand over his mouth as he was dragged into a bathroom and slammed against one of the stalls. “M—!?”
Isagi 试图吞下喉咙里的思绪，却呛得喘不过气。他开始转身离开，认为自己必须在在Kaiser，他生命中的挚爱面前彻底崩溃之前离开。但突然间，他的惊慌失措的声音被一只捂住他嘴巴的手掩盖，他被拖进一个卫生间，猛地撞在其中一个隔间的门上。“唔——？！”
“We’re all alone now,” Kaiser urged as his hands dug into Isagi’s pants. “They can’t stop us here.”
“现在这里只有我们两个人了，”Kaiser 催促道，他的手伸进了Isagi的裤子里。“他们在这里阻止不了我们。”
Isagi yelped in surprise. “H-uh? W-What’s with you!”
Isagi 惊呼出声。“呃？你、你怎么了！”
This man was incredulous, Kaiser didn’t look himself at all, like his eyes were changing colors, flashing of five different emotions that Isagi’s never witnessed before. He squirmed and frantically tried to push his fiancé’s hands away, but he somehow couldn’t resist once his pants were fully unzipped and Kaiser was on his knees again, tears running down his cheeks and mouth hanging open from irregular breathing. “Please,” Kaiser gasped desperately, and Isagi just wanted to cry as well.
这人难以置信，Kaiser完全不像他自己，仿佛眼睛在变换颜色，闪烁着五种Isagi从未见过的情绪。他扭动着，拼命试图推开未婚夫的手，但不知为何，一旦裤子完全解开，Kaiser再次跪下，泪水顺着脸颊流下，嘴巴因不规则的呼吸而张开。“求你了，”Kaiser绝望地喘息着，而Isagi也只想哭。
Was this all that their love was worth now? A quick fuck in a conference hall bathroom while their state of minds were completely out of orbit?
难道这就是他们爱情的全部价值吗？在心智完全失控的状态下，在会议厅的卫生间里匆匆做爱？
It was fucked up, as Isagi harshly tugged on Kaiser’s locks whose lips wrapped around his cock almost perfectly. The slide up and down was already so smooth and wet from the tears, and from the excessive saliva coating the insides of Kaiser’s cheeks. It shouldn’t feel this good.
这太扭曲了，Isagi粗暴地拉扯着Kaiser的头发，后者的嘴唇几乎完美地包裹着他的阴茎。上下滑动已经因为泪水和Kaiser脸颊内过多的唾液而变得如此顺滑湿润。这不应该感觉这么好。
Yet Isagi didn’t bite back his moans as Kaiser quickened his pace, sucking him off like he was made for the job, like it was his last day to live.
然而，Isagi并未抑制住自己的呻吟，当Kaiser加快节奏时，他如同天生为此而生，仿佛这是他生命的最后一天，尽情地吮吸着。
And maybe it was, and this was their end.
也许就是这样，这就是他们的结局。
At the dooming idea, anger fueled Isagi’s thrusts as he bucked into Kaiser’s throat, blunt nails piercing the back of his thighs making him go numb all over. “Is this pretty thing with two legs good enough for you?”
一想到那注定无望的念头，愤怒驱使Isagi猛烈地冲撞进Kaiser的喉咙，钝钝的指甲刺穿他大腿后侧，令他全身麻木。“这个两条腿的漂亮玩意儿，你满意了吗？”
Kaiser’s movements slowly came to a halt and suddenly Isagi’s hand went limp at the shock of his own words, detangling from Kaiser’s head. The spell withered as quick as a rumor can spread online, in just seconds time, Isagi said the wrong thing and Kaiser popped off from him, staring at Isagi in disbelief.
Kaiser的动作逐渐停了下来，而Isagi的手因自己话语的冲击而突然瘫软，从Kaiser的头上松开。咒语如同网络上的谣言般迅速消散，仅仅几秒钟，Isagi说错了话，Kaiser便从他身边弹开，难以置信地盯着Isagi。
“Yoichi,” the disheveled blond croaked. He sounded so broken, from crying and being throat-fucked that Isagi felt horrible and disgusted with himself and felt the need to hurl his guts out immediately. “I had said that because—”
“Yoichi，”那个蓬头垢面的金发男子沙哑地说道。他的声音如此破碎，因哭泣和被喉咙侵犯，Isagi感到无比糟糕和厌恶自己，迫切想要立刻吐出五脏六腑。“我那么说是因为——”
“I know. I know why you said it, Michael, I KNOW, fuck!” Isagi dug his own hands into his hair and pulled as hard as he could. “Fuck this!” He screamed, and banged a fist against the metal door of the bathroom stall.
“我知道。我知道你为什么那么说，Michael，我知道，该死！”Isagi用力扯着自己的头发，几乎要把头皮撕裂。“去他的！”他尖叫着，一拳砸在厕所隔间的金属门上。
As he cowered forward in pain, cradling his fist, he started to cry. His tears rained on Kaiser who had said those words because he was protecting Isagi’s image. In the end, it was Kaiser who had the shorter end of the stick in this scandal, he was forever the one who was misunderstood, set up, and smashed down to pieces again and again. All the while, Isagi would remain Japan’s golden boy who became an international star that every youth looked up to and dreamed of becoming.
他痛苦地蜷缩着身子，紧握的拳头颤抖不已，泪水开始滑落。他的泪珠洒落在Kaiser身上，只因那人曾为维护Isagi的形象而说出那些话。最终，在这场丑闻中，Kaiser成了那个总是吃亏的角色，他永远是被误解、被设计、一次次被击碎的那一个。而Isagi，则依旧是日本人心中的金童，成长为国际巨星，成为无数青年仰望并梦想成为的偶像。
Isagi clasped a hand over his own mouth, his body shivering. “Micha. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”
Isagi 用手捂住自己的嘴，身体颤抖着。“Micha，对不起，我真的很抱歉，非常抱歉。”
Kaiser’s head was still hanging down, knees slumped against the tile. “I just wanted to be loved by somebody. The world can never let me have that.”
Kaiser的头依然低垂，双膝无力地抵在瓷砖上。“我只是想被某个人爱。这个世界永远不会让我拥有那份爱。”
But I do, what are you saying, Kaiser? It’s me! The man who wants to marry you! Isagi wanted to say. However, his mouth was too dry to speak. All that he could muster was ‘sorry’ because right now he couldn’t imagine a world in which loving Kaiser was easy.
但我爱你啊，Kaiser，你在说什么呢？是我啊！那个想娶你的人！Isagi本想这么说。然而，他的喉咙干涩得无法发声。他所能挤出的只有‘对不起’，因为此刻他无法想象一个爱Kaiser会变得容易的世界。