作品文本：
Jeongwon 已经有一段时间没有见到她了。在他被一百万个其他想法吞噬的时候，他正在想着她。现在已经过去多少天了？三？四？尽管他们在同一个部门，但他们怎么会在 4 天内错过了交叉路口？他的头开始疼了。Junwan 建议他们离开一天，去附近的某个地方吃晚饭。但出于某种原因，他不想回家，并决定留下来过夜以照顾他的病人。俊婉叹了口气，为他的朋友担心。这位圣洁的医生在医院度过了太多个夜晚，也许正因为如此，他一直头痛不已。
“尽量多睡，”Junwan 在离开前说。
Jeongwon 在自助餐厅吃晚饭，注意到他已经把他的止痛药瓶倒空了。他顺便去了 Songhwa 的店（并偷了她的药瓶），然后回到了他的房间。他指出，凌晨 12 点 30 分，然后闭上眼睛，希望药丸能起作用。
Jeongwon 被轻柔的敲门声吵醒。他在睡梦中喃喃自语着“进来”，根本不在意现在谁会想来他的办公室。反正除了 Junwan 之外，不可能有其他人，他可能会回到医院进行紧急手术。但无论那个人是谁，都很安静，不像他的室友，Jeongwon 听到了他身边有什么东西在移动的闷闷声。他睁开了睡眼惺忪的眼睛。那是一个满月的夜晚。柔和的月光透过他的窗户百叶窗，照亮了他一直渴望看到的一张脸。
“你在这里做什么？”他问道，好奇她为什么在半夜来到这里。
“已经好几天了。我想见你，“她回答道，靠近他，正好在月光的照射下。
“你想我了吗？” 她问道，眼神充满期待，嘴唇颤抖。Jeongwon 被她在月光下的景象所震撼。
“你满脸通红，”他说，发现她的太阳穴上有一丝汗水。
“这里很暖和，”她回答说，脱下了外套。
Jeongwon 看到她只穿着一件抹胸，深蓝色，与她包裹着的奶油色皮肤形成鲜明对比。他以前从未见过她如此暴露。当时是半夜，可能有人走进来了。
“我把门锁上了，”她说，试图平息他的恐惧。
“君婉有钥匙。”
“他不会来的。”
“你怎么知道的？”
“我知道，”她说，把自己推向他，用鼻子蹭着他的鼻子。
“Gyeoul，求你了，”他轻声喘息，希望她停下来，但又想做恰恰相反的事情。
“你想我了。我知道你这样做了。不是吗？她的嘴唇悬停在他的嘴唇上。他能闻到那张戏弄他的嘴唇上的草莓香味。她的头发擦过他的脸颊，他被触摸她的需要击中。她柔软的皮肤在光线下闪闪发光，邀请他去感受一下。他用手指滑过她宽阔的锁骨，指尖灼热的感觉让他觉得自己不配触摸如此空灵的东西。他想道歉，但还没来得及说什么，她的嘴就贴在他的嘴上，她润唇膏的湿润消除了所有的摩擦。他感激地接受了那些痛苦的嘴唇，并以他一直想要的方式品尝了它们的每一个角落。它们比他想象的要柔软得多。“我确实想你，”他说，出乎他的意料地变得情绪激动起来，抓住她的躯干，让她坐在他身上，这样他就可以像他一直渴望的那样亲吻她。
几分钟后，他们气喘吁吁地分开了，Jeongwon 注意到她的脸与她其他部分相比已经变得多么红，有些地方仍然苍白。他看到她在他们分享的吻后轻轻起伏，以及她胸膛柔软膨胀如何同步移动。他的手回到她的锁骨上，抚摸着整个伸展过程，一直到她的手臂，他在手术室里见过她的手臂表现得很好。但在这里，他们似乎比他预期的要有成就得多。
Gyeoul 微笑着，试图弥补她的害羞。那个把她放在腿上的男人一直在打一场败仗，试图不把目光投向覆盖在她上衣上的衣服上。她握住他的手，把它压在她被鞘住的乳房上。Jeongwon 冒出一身汗，愣住了几秒钟。Gyeoul 将第一个纽扣从洞中滑出，Jeongwon 终于清醒过来。他摸索着第二个按钮，试图把它滑出来，而不会让人觉得自己是个笨蛋。为什么卡住了？Gyeoul 轻声笑着，把他拉向她，让他坐直，这样她就可以把他的磨砂膏从他身上拉下来。天气相当寒冷，但她的出现让他的身体着火了。如果说他全身的刺痛感还不够奇怪，他的皮肤起了鸡皮疙瘩，看到这景象，圭乌尔脸红了起来。Jeongwon 已经受够了做个懦夫。他裸露的皮肤要求它与 Gyeoul 结合，她身上的冒犯性覆盖物必须去掉！他以新的热情在纽扣上工作，这一次很容易屈服，当最后一个纽扣取下时，迎接他的是一条薄薄的蕾丝，它几乎没有遮住任何东西，但隐藏起来却足以让他想把它撕掉。他推开管顶，把鼻子探进她小丘之间的凹陷处，她身体的自然气味最浓。从那时起，他就不再是任何人所知道的正原了。蕾丝屏障脱落，她的乳房自由垂下，全都供他细细品味。他把她推高，只是为了让她足够高，这样他就不必俯下身来承受他的痛苦，因为他的脸贴在她的乳房上，有时吮吸它们，有时舔舐。 Gyeoul 低头看着他，当她看到他从她身上榨取快感时，一种强烈的喜爱占据了她。Jeongwon 抬起头，他们的目光相遇。Gyeoul 在他的太阳穴上轻轻地吻了一下，允许他为所欲为。
His hands wanted to be everywhere. He grabbed her derriere, using those surgeon hands to appreciate the beautiful rear that she had been blessed with. In a deft move, he turned her around and made her sit back on his lap, this time, her back leaning against his chest. Her pants came off, neither of them aware of whose handiwork that was. With a hand clutched around a breast, he slid his other hand down her wet folds. Gyeoul had been composed all this while but it was beginning to be impossible to be so anymore. She was helpless. Jeongwon had her trapped between playing with her nubs on one hand and circling the centre of her eros relentlessly, as he continually wet his fingers with the juice oozing out of her entrance. It was a quiet night. They couldn’t afford to let their voices escape. She turned her face against the side of his neck and bit into it in an effort to muffle the sounds escaping her as a result of his steady ministrations. It would leave a mark but Jeongwon couldn’t care. He was proud of what he had turned her into. She was his to pleasure and his to do as he wished. This beautiful, strong, yet waif of a woman was his. He quickened his pace, leaving kisses on her shoulders, while she pushed against him in ecstasy over and over again until it reached the unbearable pinnacle of pleasure and she came crashing down, almost sobbing as her body continued to convulse.
Minutes passed. Gyeoul was still lying against Jeongwon, the two running their fingers over every accessible part of the other. The heat of their passion was still simmering.
“Gyosunim, can I touch you?” Gyeoul asked in her typical straightforward manner.
“We are beyond that point by now, don’t you think?” Jeongwon asked, speaking into the back of her head, leaving a small kiss.
Gyeoul got up and turned around. The man was still in his pants and the swell of his manhood was clearly visible. She unzipped him and nudged him to raise his arse so that she could pull it away. He readily complied, suddenly feeling conscious of his very erect, very throbbing member. Gyeoul knelt on the floor, upper body strewn across his lower half. She took him in her hand and asked again, “Can I touch you, gyosunim?”. It was the second time on that cold night that Jeongwon broke into a sweat.
“Yes,” he whispered, looking at the woman in awe. Gyeoul smiled and took him in her mouth, giving him a cursory glimpse of what was in store. Jeongwon leaned back on the pillow, eyes closed. The sensation was too much for him to handle and he could not dare to look at her right now, given his state.
“Tell me if you don’t like something,” she said before devouring him. Jeongwon gasped and weaved his fingers through her hair in a sorry attempt at holding on to sanity. Gyeoul knew what she was doing and she was persistent, setting alight every vein that was thrashing against the skin of his length. With his hand guiding her movements, he was beginning to be reduced to ashes. “Stop..” he breathed. She didn’t hear, clearly. Or maybe she did but didn’t want to stop punishing him for what an idiot he had been. “Stop, please, or else..” he urged, pulling her hair so that she knew he meant it. His phallus popped out of her mouth and continued to stand erect, very warm to the touch. He extended his hand to her and she took it wordlessly, knowing what he wanted. He lay her down on the makeshift bed and lined himself up against her with the intention of finishing inside her. When he entered her, his eyes welled up. It was the single most beautiful feeling he had ever felt in his entire lifetime. Tears streaked down as he realised that he had been the stupidest man on earth to deprive himself of this. Was there only one way of experiencing God? Wasn’t this intimacy between him and her a gift as divine as anything else that he could think of? Why would seeds of love take root in his heart if they were not from God? “Not by one avenue only can we arrive at so tremendous a secret.” he had once heard at a sermon.
Gyeoul wiped his tears and kissed him. “You made the right choice,” she told him, her eyes welling up too. He leaned his forehead against her and continued to make his way into her, steadily increasing his pace as she wound her legs around him. “You’re right,” he whispered breathlessly, the conviction of his words surprising him, filling him with a certainty he didn’t have until now. He pounded into her with this newfound clarity. He had made the right choice! He knew it now! What he wanted was right there, looking at him with all the love he didn’t deserve. “Gyeoulah…I…” he said, but couldn’t continue. The dam had broken.
Jeongwon woke up with a start, gasping for air, horrified at the dream he’d just had and feeling wetness soaking through his underpants. He stared at the floor unable to believe what he had seen and felt. It was too real. Gyeoul was too real. He could still feel her skin against his, her smell still made him heady. He rushed to his desk, took out the rosary he kept handy, and sat on his chair with folded hands asking God for forgiveness and begging Him to grant him strength to push through this phase. He was finally going to be able to fulfil his lifelong dream of becoming a priest and this was clearly the last test God was putting him through. “Be kind to me God,” he pleaded, going down on his knees, “I am but just a man who is trying his best. Please deliver me from this temptation.” He cried, part of him upset by the sinful dream, part of him sad that his dream was just a dream, and soon, Gyeoul would just be one of those people he was going to leave behind. The last thought made him feel guilty. He was not supposed to be sad about leaving Gyeoul. He was not supposed to have feelings for her in the first place. Jeongwon felt burdened and he did what he always did when he was in pain: he took out the Bible. His well-worn Bible with all its bookmarks and underlines and markings always gave him wisdom when he needed direction. He prayed and asked the Lord to speak to him. As he held his Bible, it easily opened to a page where a marking from long ago caught his eyes.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)
Jeongwon sighed in defeat. He knew that the verse could have been about universal love for fellow humans. But deep in his heart, he knew he wanted it to be about Gyeoul. He put the Bible back in his drawer along with the rosary, taking comfort in the fact that if God did plan priesthood for him, nothing could stop that from happening. And if He meant for Gyeoul to be part of His plan for him, then He will make him take the necessary steps. If God could make Jonas, the reluctant prophet, accept his divine commission, he could do it with Jeongwon too.
________________________________________________________________________
Jeongwon had been avoiding her for quite some time. In the aftermath of that dream, it had become clear to him that he was unequivocally drawn to her, and being around her chipped at his resolve to leave for Italy. Avoiding her should have been easy. But a few awkward moments spent together while on a recent rotation had shown him that perhaps she was trying her best not to spend an extra second with him either. It should have made him feel relieved, the distance that they were maintaining from each other, but instead, it filled him with irrationality. He knew what his reason for staying away from her was. What was hers? Hadn’t she asked him out three months ago? Wasn’t Ikjun still trying to play Cupid between them? Why this change in her attitude? His petulant side was not ready to accept this and he began to get increasingly curious. That evening, he decided he would go to the GS station and find out if she was being indifferent to him on purpose.
The area was surprisingly abuzz with activity for that time of the day. The Head Nurse was busy filing while the other two were running around tending to the patients. The GS Fellow was also there, perhaps preparing for his last rounds for the day. At the corner of the station was a young guardian with his back to him. He looked around but there was no sign of Gyeoul. He was just about to leave when the Head Nurse asked (not him), “Shouldn’t you be leaving by now Jang Gyeoul sonsaengnim?”
Jeongwon frowned. Where was Gyeoul? The guardian he had spotted earlier turned around and looked at him. Clearly, she was surprised to see him there. Jeongwon stood transfixed. That was Gyeoul, dressed up, with makeup on, no sign of the fact that she had just come off three consecutive night shifts. What was worse was that she was in a deep blue dress with a neckline much lower than he was accustomed to seeing on her. It left him troubled.
“Are you going somewhere?” he asked, clearing his throat, dreading her answer. She looked like she could be going on a date.
“Yes, I’m going for a wedding.”
“Ah,” he said, relieved. “Well, have a nice time then.”
“Ne gyosunim.”
Jeongwon turned around and rushed out of the wing as fast as his legs could carry him, the image of the deep blue dress on her skin etched deep into his mind.
“我们仰望着同样的星星，天空覆盖了我们所有人，同样的宇宙包围了我们。我们在寻求真理时采用什么实际的系统又有什么关系呢？我们只能通过一条途径来获得如此巨大的秘密。
—— 西马科斯