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The world faded in again, and Alexander jerked awake with a gasp, heart pounding. His back was against the cold and wonderfully solid stone of the marble floor, and looking up, he saw the familiar breathtaking beauty of the Padua basilica's glass windows and domed ceiling.
世界再次浮现轮廓，亚历山大猛然惊醒，喘息间心跳如雷。后背紧贴着大理石地面冰冷而美妙的坚实触感，抬头望去，帕多瓦大教堂彩绘玻璃窗与穹顶那令人屏息的熟悉美景映入眼帘。

The hazy pink light filtering through them told him that it was dawn, and his soul drank in the warmth and the reality of that avidly, feeling the rock-solid steadiness and consistency of the world around him, so different than the dream-like visions.
朦胧的粉红光线透过彩窗告诉他已是黎明时分，他的灵魂如饥似渴地汲取着这份温暖与真实，感受着周遭世界岩石般坚实稳定的质感，与那些梦境般的幻象截然不同。

Sitting up revealed that he had dried blood on his sleeve again, from the injury that had started all this, but all thoughts ground to a halt as he saw Alucard sitting up in a similar pose a few meters away. A quick flick of his eyes confirmed that they had been lying with the reliquary and no-longer-glowing relic roughly equidistant between them, but Alexander's attention was primarily arrested by the uncharacteristic deer-in-headlights look of the vampire as Alucard stared at him.
他坐起身时，发现袖口又沾上了干涸的血迹——正是最初那道引发一切的伤口。但当看到几米外同样撑坐起身的阿卡德时，所有思绪都戛然而止。他快速扫视确认两人之间等距摆放着圣物箱与不再发光的圣器，但亚历山大全部注意力都被吸血鬼那副反常的呆滞表情所攫获——阿卡德正用鹿遇车灯般的眼神直勾勾盯着他。

So much for hoping he wouldn't remember.
指望他不记得这事算是彻底落空了。

They both scrambled to their feet, instinct and habit conspiring to push them automatically towards fighting –but then they hesitated where they stood, Alucard's hands hovering vaguely in the direction of his guns, Alexander poised for an attack but not summoning his bayonets.
两人同时跳起身来，本能与习惯促使他们下意识进入战斗姿态——却又在起身瞬间犹豫了，阿卡德的手悬在枪套上方游移不定，亚历山大摆出进攻架势却未召唤刺刀。

He swallowed and cleared his throat after a long, long moment.
过了许久许久，他才咽了口唾沫，清了清嗓子。

"Do you-?"  "你要不要——？"

"Yes," Alucard answered immediately. The vampire's expression was haunted, unsure: Alexander didn't feel much better.
"是的，"阿卡德立即回答。吸血鬼的表情阴郁而犹疑：亚历山大也没觉得好受多少。

There was another long silence as they stared at each other, searching for clarification neither could find. Alexander's eyes eventually wandered over to the relic, and his posture eased.
他们彼此凝视，陷入又一段漫长的沉默，都在寻求对方无法给予的解释。最终亚历山大的目光游移到圣物上，姿态随之放松下来。

"We should –you should leave," he coughed, shifting awkwardly. "The relic isn't active anymore."
"我们该——你该走了，"他轻咳一声，局促地挪动身体。"圣物已经不再活跃了。"

The corner of one of Alucard's eyes twitched.
阿卡德的一只眼角抽动了一下。

"I know," he all but growled, making Alexander wince a little. Having as much of your soul bared to someone as Alucard just had couldn't be a comfortable experience.
"我知道，"他几乎是咆哮着说，这让亚历山大微微瑟缩。像阿卡德这样将灵魂如此赤裸地展现在他人面前，绝不会是什么愉快的体验。

His eyes moved to the windows and the faint glow behind them, searching for another topic.
他的目光转向窗户及窗后微光，试图寻找新的话题。

"It's sunrise," Alexander commented, making the vampire go oddly still. "How long do you think we've been gone?"
"天亮了，"亚历山大评论道，让吸血鬼突然僵住。"你觉得我们离开多久了？"

Alucard's red eyes drifted shut, probably making contact with his Master or his fledgling, whichever was closest and easiest. His placid expression twitched a little, and he frowned before opening his eyes and looking at Alexander.
阿尔卡德的红瞳缓缓阖上，可能正在联系他的主人或是初拥者——视哪个更近更方便而定。他平静的面容微微抽动，皱眉睁眼看向亚历山大。

"Three days. My Master is apoplectic, and it seems like Maxwell isn't far behind."
"三天了。我的主人暴跳如雷，看来马克斯韦尔也快按捺不住了。"

Alexander sighed wearily and rubbed his forehead. At least the resulting hunger, thirst, and exhaustion hadn't all compiled, otherwise the resulting disorientation would've hit him like a sledgehammer the second he came out of the vision.
亚历山大疲惫地叹了口气，揉了揉额头。幸好随之而来的饥饿、干渴和疲惫没有同时发作，否则当他从幻象中脱离时，那种晕眩感会像大锤般将他击倒。

"We should definitely leave, then," he said, glancing back over at Alucard. The vampire nodded, and the faintest smile curved his mouth.
"那我们确实该走了，"他说着瞥向阿尔卡特。吸血鬼点了点头，嘴角浮现出最微弱的笑意。

"I look forward to our next encounter," he said, before dissolving into a wisp of shadows, which quickly flickered elsewhere, no doubt chasing down his Master.
"期待下次相遇，"他说完便化作一缕暗影消散，那阴影迅速闪烁至别处，无疑是在追寻他的主人。

Alexander swallowed what definitely did not feel like disappointment and pulled out a bible to do the same, only this time in a flurry of holy wards.
亚历山大咽下那绝对不像是失望的情绪，掏出一本圣经如法炮制，只不过这次伴随着一连串神圣结界的光芒。

Maxwell had indeed been verging on manic, and it took a long, long time for Alexander to calm him down enough to get his story out. A team was immediately dispatched to isolate and secure the relic, keeping it from any further attempts and to study the effects it had shown itself to have on him and the vampire. Alexander wished them luck and vehemently wished never to see that particular relic again: it had stirred too much confusion in him.
马克斯维尔确实近乎癫狂，亚历山大花了很长时间才让他平静下来，得以讲述事情经过。一支小队立即被派去隔离并保护那件遗物，防止它再被触碰，同时研究它对马克斯维尔和吸血鬼产生的影响。亚历山大祝他们好运，并强烈希望永远不再见到那件特殊遗物：它在他心中激起了太多困惑。

Presumably, Hellsing underwent a similar debriefing, and all too probably Alucard endured a similar piercingly-voiced lecture from his boss, berating him for his recklessness around a holy relic and the consequences that might've occurred if either of them had damaged it. Alexander endured his lecture in stoic silence, nodding glumly at all the right portions and trying to tug his mind back from persistent thoughts of the vampire and all the memories he had experienced.
想必赫尔辛格也经历了类似的行动汇报，而阿卡德极可能正忍受着上司尖锐的训斥——责骂他对圣物的鲁莽行为，以及倘若他们中任何一人损毁圣物可能引发的后果。亚历山大以坚忍的沉默承受着训话，在关键处阴郁地点头，同时竭力将不断浮现的吸血鬼影像及那些亲历般的记忆从脑海中驱逐。

He went through his mission report and all the rest of it in a daze, unable to concentrate. He felt disconnected, out of step, like the visions had jarred something loose in him and he couldn't find the missing piece and put it back. He was a live wire, constantly buzzing, never at rest, and he couldn't find the switch to turn himself back off.
他恍惚地处理着任务报告和其他事务，始终无法集中精神。他感觉自己支离破碎、步履蹒跚，仿佛那些幻象震松了体内的某样东西，而他找不到遗失的碎片将其归位。他像根通电的导线，持续嗡鸣，永不安宁，却找不到关闭自己的开关。

Alexander ate and slept at random when all the fuss was over, but that didn't help: even after a dreamless sleep so long and deep it left him groggy when he woke up again, he still felt restless and hazy. Eventually, he did what he always did when he found himself in turmoil: he looked to God.
当所有喧嚣平息后，亚历山大的饮食作息变得紊乱，但这无济于事：即便经历了漫长无梦的沉睡，醒来时仍昏沉迟钝，他依然感到焦躁不安、思绪混沌。最终，他像往常陷入纷乱时那样做了唯一能做的事：向神明寻求指引。

It was evening again when Alexander stepped out of the orphanage, in his more casual priest's uniform of a black shirt and slacks. The breeze was warm and soft against his skin, and Alexander sighed happily: the summer air seemed to clear his mind a little, give him room to think. He enjoyed the gentle chirping of crickets and the scent from the mishmashed butterfly garden he and the children had planted earlier that year, walking slowly but purposefully towards the chapel.
亚历山大再次踏出孤儿院时已是傍晚，他穿着更随意的黑色衬衫与长裤神父便装。暖风轻柔地拂过他的肌肤，让他发出惬意的叹息：夏日的空气似乎让他的思绪清明了几分，给了他思考的空间。他缓步而坚定地走向小教堂，聆听着蟋蟀的轻鸣，嗅着那年早先与孩子们一起栽种的杂乱蝴蝶园里飘来的芬芳。

He wanted to think, and probably needed to pray, and these were the dead hours, when even the most squirrely child had long settled down and their caretakers were sleeping the sleep of the exhausted and fulfilled.
他想思考，或许也需要祈祷，而此刻正是万籁俱寂的时辰——连最闹腾的孩子都已安睡，看护者们也正沉浸在疲惫而满足的梦乡中。

As glorious as the chapel was, it was also empty and private, a liminal space frozen in time, and Alexander needed that. He needed privacy and isolation as he thought.
尽管小教堂如此壮美，它同时也是空寂而私密的，一个凝固在时光中的阈限空间。这正是亚历山大所需要的。当他思考时，需要这份隐秘与孤独。

The orphanage's chapel wasn't anything as large or ornate as some of the other structures in Rome, of course. Though they had ended up using the adjacent chapel built directly into the building, this structure had been made with children in mind, so there were no dramatic sculptures, no gilded moldings, nothing too expensive or intricate.
当然，孤儿院的小教堂远不及罗马其他建筑那般宏伟华丽。虽然最终他们启用了与主楼相连的这座附属教堂，但这座建筑本就是为孩童设计的——没有戏剧性的雕塑，没有鎏金线脚，没有任何过于昂贵或繁复的装饰。

The building was just large enough to house about fifty people in the two rows of pews, one on either side of the plain red carpeted aisle, and the pews themselves were long and low, of plain dark wood. Aside from the equally plain altar, the windows drew the most attention, a glorious rainbow of biblical scenes and abstract borders, which shone awe-inspiring pictograms of light during the day, but were slick and saturated by the blackness behind them at this time of night. Still, the rich red and blue, the flickers of yellow and green, the washed-out darkness of the clear pieces; it made an impressive sight even now, something that stilled and calmed him with its familiar beauty as he went around lighting candles.
这座建筑刚好能容纳约五十人，两排长椅分列在朴素的红色地毯过道两侧。长椅本身低矮修长，由深色原木制成。除了同样简朴的祭坛外，最引人注目的是那些彩窗——由圣经场景与抽象边框组成的绚丽彩虹，白昼时会投射出令人敬畏的光之图腾，而此刻深夜，它们却被窗后的黑暗浸润得浓郁饱满。即便如此，那厚重的红与蓝，跃动的黄与绿，还有透明玻璃上晕染的暗色，此刻依然构成震撼人心的景象。当他四处点燃蜡烛时，这份熟悉的美依然能抚平他的焦躁。

The warm yellow glow was comfortable and familiar too, as familiar as the resinous scent of frankincense that he breathed in, letting it still his racing, errant thoughts, empty out his mind. As always, here he found peace.
温暖的黄色光芒令人舒适而熟悉，就如同他吸入的乳香树脂气息一般熟悉，让狂奔的杂念平息，清空他的思绪。一如既往地，他在这里找到了安宁。

Alexander left the bank of votive candles as they were in their red glass containers, glancing up to make sure that the tabernacle candle was still burning, even though the other orphanage staff checked in here frequently. It was, and that relaxed him a little more, so by the time he had finished lighting spare candles to the point of getting a comfortable glow, he felt almost centered, and more like himself than he had in days.
亚历山大没有动那些安放在红色玻璃器皿中的还愿烛台，只抬头确认圣体灯仍在燃烧——尽管孤儿院其他工作人员常来查看。灯火如常，这让他又放松了几分。待他点燃备用蜡烛，暖黄光晕渐次铺开时，他几乎找回了内心的平衡，这些天来头一次感觉像真正的自己。

Kneeling before the altar, Alexander crossed himself reverently and closed his eyes, bowing his head as he began to pray. The familiar cadence of the words further helped to soothe his disordered mind, and he felt himself relaxing, the tension in his shoulders and around his temples finally easing. Finally in a place of ease, finally centered, he eventually allowed his foremost thoughts to drift upwards, occupying his mind, like he was shifting through flour looking for kernels of the truth.
跪在祭坛前，亚历山大虔诚地划着十字闭目垂首，开始祷告。熟悉的祷词韵律进一步抚平了他紊乱的思绪，他感到自己逐渐放松，肩头与太阳穴的紧绷感终于消退。当心灵终获安宁，重归平静，他任由那些盘踞已久的念头浮上意识表层，如同在面粉中筛寻真相的麦粒。

First and foremost, Alucard. The vampire was haunting him, mentally if not physically. Alexander's feelings and his well-centered world had shifted and spun out of its axis, and he wasn't sure what to do about it, which was why he was here to begin with, kneeling in the forgotten sanctuary of the church and appealing to God. He needed resolution, and he couldn't find it on his own. The vampire would surely be delighted to know that Alexander's prayer was full of conflict, doubts and the words that they had shared in that hedge maze swirling in his mind.
首当其冲的，是阿尔卡特。这只吸血鬼正萦绕在他心头，即便不是物理意义上的纠缠。亚历山大的情感与原本稳固的世界观已然偏离轨道，天旋地转间他不知所措，这正是他此刻跪在教堂废弃圣所里向上帝祷告的缘由。他需要答案，而单凭自己无法参透。若知道他的祷词里充满矛盾、犹疑，以及树篱迷宫中那些对话在脑海翻涌，那吸血鬼定会欣喜不已。

Alexander had long ago resigned himself to the fact that he probably wouldn't see Heaven. Given what he did for a living, it was inevitable that the sins of murder and sadism would eventually corrupt him beyond salvation, and he had been, he was fine with that, because someone had to do it, and he was uniquely suited for the task.
亚历山大早已接受自己可能无缘天堂的事实。鉴于他的职业性质，谋杀与施虐的罪孽终将使他堕落至无可救赎的境地——而他对此坦然处之，因为总得有人承担这份工作，而他恰是最合适的人选。

He had allowed the church to refine and hone him like a blade, an executioner's guillotine for God, making him even more suited for the task, and Alucard might've been right, damn him, in saying that Alexander had become so immersed in that life that it was no longer possible for him to leave it. He was stuck in a rut of his own making, trapped by the circumstances that he had created for himself nearly from birth, and Alexander found doubt plaguing him for the very first time.
他任由教会将他打磨得如利刃般锋利，成为上帝的行刑铡刀，使他愈发胜任这份使命。阿尔卡特或许是对的——该死的——他说亚历山大已深陷那种生活，再也无法抽身。他困在自己筑就的窠臼里，被近乎与生俱来的境遇所禁锢。生平第一次，疑虑如附骨之疽般啃噬着亚历山大。

He wasn't going to leave. That was obvious: he might fall far enough to think things about the vampire that no good Christian man should be thinking, but Alexander wasn't going to plunge so deep as to abandon his responsibilities and throw away everything he had done just because of one single moment of doubt. His will and resolution had been no small part of what had gotten him to where he was now in the first place.
他不会离开。这是显而易见的：他或许会堕落至对那个吸血鬼产生虔诚基督徒不该有的念头，但亚历山大绝不会因为一时动摇就抛弃职责、否定自己过往的一切。正是这份意志与决心，才让他走到了今天的位置。

But the problem was that if he couldn't leave –and he wouldn't– then he also couldn't return to how he had been. There were a lot of reasons to dislike Alucard –his irreverence, his arrogance, his perversity, that damned smirk– but now, fresh from the bewildering pattern of those visions, Alexander couldn't hate him anymore. That lack of hatred had ripped away something inside him, gutted him and scoured him out, and he wasn't sure how to handle what was rising up in its place.
但问题在于，如果他不能离开——而他确实不会离开——那么他也无法回到从前的状态。讨厌阿尔卡特的理由有很多——他的不敬、傲慢、乖戾，还有那该死的讥笑——但此刻，刚从那些令人困惑的幻象中抽身，亚历山大发现自己再也恨不起他了。这种恨意的缺失如同将他内脏掏空，他不知道该如何面对此刻涌上心头的全新感受。

Alexander sighed without opening his eyes, the sound quiet and melancholy in the empty room.
亚历山大闭着眼睛叹了口气，那声音在空荡的房间里显得格外寂静而忧郁。

He wasn't sure when he had tipped over the edge. With the Count? Seeing Alucard move with the silken confidence Alexander was used to, combined with the unbridled power the vampire had never showed as his modern equivalent, that had certainly stirred something in him.
他不确定自己何时越过了那条界限。是与伯爵相处时吗？目睹阿尔卡特以亚历山大所熟悉的优雅从容行动，同时展现出其现代形态从未示人的狂放力量，这确实在他心中激起了某种波澜。

Or maybe with the vampire beneath the Hellsing estate, when Alucard was blank and lost and all too pitiable. Even more galling, was it right at the beginning, as he realized what Alucard had been like as a human man, seeing the faith that cut too close to home for Alexander to ignore?
又或许是在赫尔斯古宅地下的吸血鬼身旁，当阿卡多茫然迷失、可怜至极的时候。更令人恼火的是，是否就在最初那一刻——当他意识到阿卡多作为人类时的模样，看见那份直刺心底、令亚历山大无法忽视的信仰时？

Maybe he had been attracted to Alucard since the beginning, and the constant barrage of visions had only broken down his resistance to the idea.
或许他从最初就被阿卡多吸引，而接连不断的幻象只是瓦解了他对这个念头的抗拒。

"Penny for your thoughts?"
"能告诉我你在想什么吗？"

Alexander tensed as his eyes flew open. The question had been low and lazy, almost polite, but there was no escaping the familiarity of that voice even when it was devoid of its usual underlying mockery.
亚历山大猛地绷紧身体，双眼骤然睁开。那个问题问得低沉慵懒，近乎礼貌，但即便褪去了惯常的暗讽，那声音的熟悉感仍令他无处可逃。

Turning around on his knees, Alexander saw that Alucard was sprawled carelessly over one of the front pews just behind him, red duster draped beneath his form, elbows hooked over the back of the pew and legs splayed outwards in a pose of ostentatious ease, head tilted slightly to the side as he watched Alexander. The warm amusement in his eyes made the priest swallow, hard.
亚历山大跪坐着转身，看见阿尔卡特正漫不经心地横卧在身后第一排长椅上。猩红大衣铺陈身下，手肘勾着椅背，双腿张扬地岔开，摆出夸张的闲适姿态。他歪着头打量神父时，眼中跃动的促狭暖意让亚历山大喉结重重滑动了一下。

"What are you doing here?" he asked, standing up as the vampire languidly raised his chin, following Alexander's movement with his eyes without otherwise stirring.
"你来做什么？"神父起身问道。吸血鬼慵懒地扬起下巴，目光如影随形地追随着他的动作，身躯却纹丝未动。

"It's unfair for you to know so much about me," Alucard said after a moment. The candlelight gleamed off his polished boots as he shifted to cross his legs, moving without a care for gravity or the physics of his own joints. It would've been somewhat chilling to anyone who wasn't used to dealing with vampires, but as it was, Alexander barely noticed the unearthly sight.
"你对我的了解未免太不公平了。"阿尔卡特沉默片刻后开口。烛光在他锃亮的靴面上流转，他随意交叠双腿的动作全然无视重力与关节力学。这般非人的景象足以令不惯与吸血鬼打交道者毛骨悚然，但于亚历山大而言，他几乎没注意到这诡异的画面。

He was more annoyed with himself for failing to notice the presence of the vampire when Alucard had been only a few meters away, though Alexander supposed that the vampire had to have kept at least a few tricks from him, even after all this.
他更恼火的是自己竟没察觉到吸血鬼的存在——明明阿尔卡特近在咫尺。不过亚历山大转念一想，这只吸血鬼总该保留了些许不为人知的手段，即便相处至今。

"It's not like I meant to see it, and you weren't cooperating with me by remembering everything in time," he replied, folding his arms and glowering at the vampire. Alucard smirked.
"我又不是故意要看的，而且你也没及时配合我回忆所有事情，"他双臂交叠，怒视着吸血鬼反驳道。阿卡德露出了得意的笑容。

"Well, it isn't as if that's hard to fix," he said, red eyes twinkling. "You'll just have to reciprocate."
"呵，这又不是什么难事，"他红眸闪烁地说道，"你只需要礼尚往来就行。"

Alexander blinked.  亚历山大眨了眨眼。

"What?"  "什么？"

"Bare your soul to me in return," Alucard said lazily, twirling one finger in a slow circle, shocking Alexander into a rare silence. "Your life has been much shorter than mine, so it'll be much easier and quicker to tell."
"把你的灵魂也袒露给我作为交换，"阿卡德懒洋洋地说，手指慢悠悠地画着圈，这罕见的举动让亚历山大陷入了沉默。"你的生命比我短暂得多，所以讲述起来会更容易、更快捷。"

"You- you do know what that sounds like, right?" Alexander sputtered incredulously as he found his voice again, trying to ignore the subtle heat creeping up the back of his neck. It could be taken as gathering information so that they'd be on equal terms again, but it could also equally be taken as a desire for intimacy.
"你——你明白这话听起来像什么对吧？"亚历山大找回声音时难以置信地结巴道，努力忽视后颈悄然升腾的燥热。这番话既可解读为收集情报以求重新势均力敌，却也同样像在渴求亲密关系。

"Oh, I do," Alucard said with a grin. "I want to know the man who gave me comfort and challenge throughout all the myriad pieces of my life."
"噢，我当然知道，"阿卡德咧嘴笑道，"我想了解那个在我生命所有碎片中，既给予慰藉又带来挑战的男人。"

Alexander hastily unfolded his arms and took an automatic step back as Alucard stood, starting towards him.
当阿卡德起身朝他走来时，亚历山大慌忙松开环抱的双臂，本能地后退一步。

"I want to get to know the paladin who would've crossed medieval Europe to fight at my side because of the strength of his faith," the vampire said, holding his eyes as he advanced and Alexander retreated, step by slow step. "I want to learn of the hunter who would climb a snow-covered peak and fight a vampire in his own castle without hesitation. I want to pick apart the rival who kept pace with me when I was unrestrained and at the height of my cunning. I want to understand the priest that would minister to a lost soul and give him hope. I want to debate the zealot that would defend and understand his perspective, both in regards to the living and the dead."
"我想认识那位因信仰之力，甘愿穿越中世纪欧洲来与我并肩作战的圣骑士，"吸血鬼步步紧逼，亚历山大则缓慢后退，两人目光始终交缠。"我想了解那位毫不犹豫攀登雪峰、在吸血鬼城堡中直面战斗的猎人。我想剖析那个在我毫无保留施展狡计时，仍能与我旗鼓相当的对手。我想理解那位愿为迷途灵魂布道、赐予希望的牧师。我想与那个既捍卫又试图理解生死立场的狂热信徒辩论。"

Alexander's heel hit the back of the altar, and he came to a tense stop as the vampire halted in front of me.
亚历山大的脚跟撞上祭坛背面，当吸血鬼在他面前停下时，他浑身紧绷地僵在原地。

"I want to know the man that was worth five centuries of waiting," Alucard said quietly. He half-smiled and reached out, lazily trailing his fingers up Alexander's arm. "Perhaps the Jerusalem that I fought for was not a place, but a person."
"我想认识那个值得我等待五个世纪的男人，"阿卡德轻声说道。他半带笑意地伸手，慵懒地用手指抚过亚历山大的手臂。"或许我曾为之奋战的耶路撒冷并非一座城，而是一个人。"

It was so bloody like the vampire to wait until Alexander had finally found his bearings before yanking the metaphorical carpet out from underneath him. Alexander had just barely managed to come to terms with the fact that he had feelings for the vampire, however sinful and probably unrequited they might be, and then the bastard had to turn the tables on him completely with an admittance and an invitation that no one could mistake. Not even him.
这该死的吸血鬼偏偏要等到亚历山大刚找回立足点，就猛地抽走他脚下的隐喻地毯。亚历山大好不容易才接受自己对这吸血鬼怀有感情——尽管这情感多么罪恶且很可能只是单相思——而这混蛋却用一句直白的告白与邀请彻底颠覆了局面，任谁都不会误解其中含义。连他也不例外。

"You were here to pray," Alucard said, eyes following the light, curious trace of his fingers as they slid up over Alexander's shoulder. "Did you think you could wipe away all that we shared with mere discipline and denial? My memories are stronger than that, Judas Priest, and so is the bond we formed within them. Prayer and penitence won't be able to sever that."
"你来此是为了祈祷，"阿卡德说道，目光追随着光线，好奇地注视着自己的手指沿着亚历山大的肩膀向上滑动。"你以为仅凭戒律与克制就能抹去我们共享的一切？我的记忆比那更牢固，犹大祭司，我们在其中缔结的羁绊亦是如此。祈祷与忏悔都无法斩断这份联结。"

"You're trying to make it stronger," Alexander argued weakly, making Alucard grin.
"你在试图强化这种联系，"亚历山大虚弱地反驳，引得阿卡德露出狞笑。

"Does that disturb you? You're a priest, as you so adamantly insisted throughout all of this: if you believe in God, then you should believe in His plans," the vampire said confidently. "Two beings who complement each other as well as we do must be meant to be together."
"这让你不安吗？你可是神父，正如你在这整件事中固执强调的那样：若你信仰上帝，就该相信祂的安排，"吸血鬼胸有成竹地说，"两个如我们这般完美互补的存在，注定就该在一起。"

Alexander could've said that that was just coincidence, but didn't. Some things were too big for coincidence: oh, he and Alucard could've both been men of faith in their human lifetimes, could both be enraptured by the thrill of battle, could be a thousand other facets of their personalities, but nothing would change the fact that nearly every facet in both of them had its mate in the other, an interlocking place or a mirrored shape. They fit together too well, had history that was too close for mere coincidence.
亚历山大本可以说那只是巧合，但他没有。有些事物宏大得超越了巧合的范畴：诚然，他与阿卡德在人类时期可能都是信仰虔诚之人，都可能为战斗的刺激而痴迷，可能存在性格中上千种相似特质——但都无法改变一个事实，他们彼此间几乎每个棱面都能在对方身上找到契合的凹槽或镜像的轮廓。他们过于天衣无缝地相嵌，拥有亲密得绝非巧合能解释的历史。

"You were touching a holy relic when all this started," Alucard said, probably sensing how he was weakening, how his already unsteady alignment was shifting further, inevitably out of control. "That was what created this bond. If it was created and fostered by holy power, it can't be as wrong as you think, now can it?"
"这一切开始时你正触碰着一件圣物，"阿卡德说道，或许察觉到了他正在衰弱，那本就不稳定的平衡正进一步偏移，不可避免地失控。"正是那件事缔结了这份羁绊。若它由神圣力量所创造并滋养，就不可能如你所想的那般错误，不是吗？"

Alexander knew exactly where this was going. How close Alucard was standing, the way he was looking at him –the vampire wanted, and like all things he wanted, he was relentless and insatiable in pursuing it. The priest could do what his faith demanded of him, what his training as a vampire hunter was screaming, what his own unease at pursuing and allowing this, for himself, was muttering to him.
亚历山大完全明白接下来会发生什么。阿卡德站得如此之近，那凝视的方式——这个吸血鬼渴求着，就像他对所有渴望之物一样，会不知餍足地穷追不舍。神父可以遵循信仰的指引，听从吸血鬼猎人训练的呐喊，或是顺从内心对纵容此事的抗拒低语。

He reached out and twisted his fingers in Alucard's cravat instead.
他伸手揪住了阿卡德的领巾。

"You tell anyone about this, and I'll kill you," he said, tugging the vampire just the slightest bit closer as he tightened his grip. Kill wasn't really the right phrase –Alexander was inventive with words, sure, but there was no threat he could make that would encompass that kind of betrayal. But Alucard understood perfectly anyways, because of course he did.
"敢把这事说出去，我就杀了你，"他说着将吸血鬼又拽近了些许，同时收紧了环抱的手臂。"杀"并非准确的措辞——尽管亚历山大确实擅长遣词造句，但没有任何威胁能涵盖那种程度的背叛。不过阿卡德完全心领神会，毕竟他向来如此。

"I know," he said smoothly, smiling, before leaning in. Alexander automatically tensed at that first contact as their lips pressed together, instincts warring within him –so much was wrong, Alucard was a man, he was cold, he was dead, he was a vampire…
"我知道，"他流畅地说着，带着笑意倾身向前。当双唇相触时，亚历山大条件反射地绷紧了身体，本能在他体内激烈交战——有太多不对劲的地方了，阿卡德是个男人，他体温冰冷，他是死者，他是吸血鬼……

But at the same time, it felt right, and he didn't have the nerve to try and pick apart why.
但与此同时，这感觉如此正确，而他鼓不起勇气去剖析其中缘由。

Contrary to what he would have expected –and not at all helping his shaky feelings– Alucard was slow, almost gentle with this initial kiss, drawing it out, letting him become accustomed. Alexander's nerves tore and frayed with every pounding heartbeat, wondering if he was supposed to do something, wondering if he would dare to do something if he was, and then Alucard's hand cupped fondly over his cheek and that was definitely not helping him think.
与他的预期完全相反——这丝毫没能缓解他颤抖的心情——阿卡德的动作缓慢得近乎温柔，这个初吻被拉得很长，让他有时间适应。亚历山大的神经随着每一次剧烈心跳而绷紧撕裂，思索着自己是否该做些什么，又怀疑自己是否真有勇气去做，而这时阿卡德的手掌亲昵地捧住他的脸颊——这绝对无助于他思考。

He tentatively pushed back, reciprocating, because, well, that was what you did with a kiss. Everything else was a tangled mess right now –feelings, emotions, sensations, instinct, training– but he knew that much at least, and he clung to it like a drowning man would a piece of driftwood. This he knew for sure, and Alexander liked to follow the sure and certain path whenever possible.
他试探性地回应着这个吻，因为——好吧，接吻就该这样回应。此刻其他一切都乱作一团——感受、情绪、知觉、本能、训练——但至少他清楚这一点，于是像溺水者抓住浮木般紧紧抓住这个认知。这是他确信无疑的事，而亚历山大向来喜欢尽可能遵循确定无疑的道路。

Alucard made a pleased sound, making him blush, but he didn't dare –didn't want, a tiny part of him admitted– to pull away from the vampire. This felt pleasant, and that in itself was almost terrifying. He didn't know how to deal with this feeling good, and perversely he sought comfort in the source of his unease, pressing harder into the vampire as Alucard moved to deepen the kiss at the same time.
阿尔卡特发出满足的哼声令他耳根发烫，但他不敢——内心深处某个微小声音承认，是不愿——挣脱这个怀抱。这种愉悦感本身几乎令人恐惧。他不知该如何应对这种快意，于是悖谬地向不安的源头寻求慰藉，在吸血鬼加深这个吻的同时更用力地迎了上去。

Unexpectedly, Alucard's fangs cut into his lips with a brief pulse of pain, and his tongue flicked against Alucard's as they both automatically moved to lick the blood away, though for two different reasons. Alexander's face burned as he felt the vampire smirk against his mouth, bloodied lips moving to form hasty excuses.
猝不及防地，吸血鬼的獠牙刺破他的嘴唇带来短暂刺痛，当两人本能地舔舐血迹时——尽管动机截然不同——他的舌尖与阿尔卡特的相触。感觉到吸血鬼染血的唇瓣在自己嘴边勾起戏谑弧度时，亚历山大整张脸烧了起来，结结巴巴地想要辩解。

Alucard didn't give him the time to form any.
阿尔卡特没给他任何思考的余地。

The kiss became exponentially harder, hungrier within the space of a second, stealing the breath from him as Alucard's other hand moved to cup the other side of his face. Alucard was moving his lips in a way that kept his fangs from cutting Alexander again and he did not want to think about how the vampire knew how to do that. Feelings rushed through him, electrifying in his veins and pooling molten and new in the pit of his stomach, and he didn't know what to do with his own hands, only that he desperately wanted to do something.
这个吻在瞬间变得愈发激烈饥渴，阿尔卡特另一只手捧住他另一侧脸颊时，几乎夺走了他的呼吸。吸血鬼的唇舌巧妙地避开獠牙，避免再次划伤亚历山大，而他根本不愿细想对方为何如此娴熟。汹涌的情感在他血管里奔流带电，在小腹汇聚成陌生的熔岩，他不知该如何安放自己的双手，只知道自己迫切地想做些什么。

Cautiously, tentatively, he moved them up to Alucard's shoulders, resting his hands there in a position that was oddly reminiscent of a fighting move –how easy it would be to shove the vampire away, Alexander suddenly thought, rip Alucard's mouth away from his own and send him staggering backwards at least a step or two in a brief moment of shock.
他小心翼翼地试探着将手移到阿卡多的肩上，双手停驻的姿态莫名令人联想到格斗招式——亚历山大突然想到，这是多么容易的事啊，只需猛然发力推开吸血鬼，就能在对方错愕的瞬间撕裂两人胶着的唇瓣，让阿卡多踉跄后退一两步。

He didn't.  他没能喘息。

Alucard pulled away to give him a moment to breathe, smiling from a few inches away as his red eyes shimmered and glowed like rubies.
阿尔卡特退开些许给他喘息的空间，在几英寸外微笑着，红宝石般的眼眸泛着微光。

"You're taking this well," he hummed appreciatively, air ghosting over Alexander's lips. It was an odd sensation, and he shivered and swallowed, instinctively moving once again to swipe his tongue over his mouth. He didn't miss how Alucard's eyes briefly flicked down to follow the movement, either.
"你适应得不错，"他赞赏地低语，气息拂过亚历山大的唇瓣。这感觉古怪极了，他不由得战栗着咽了咽口水，本能地再次伸出舌头舔了舔嘴唇。他没错过阿尔卡特的眼睛随着这个动作短暂下瞥的瞬间。

"Don't make me think about it," Alexander said, which as of this moment was true. There was a certain amount of soul-searching that would follow for almost every separate facet of the last few minutes, and taken all together they were more than enough to make the world realign subtly, irreversibly, in ways he couldn't track, like gravity had shifted underfoot. New rules were in play, and he didn't want to deal with those new rules, not them and definitely not the larger aspect of what they implied. Not here, not now.
"别让我去想这些，"亚历山大说道，此刻这话千真万确。过去几分钟里的每个片段都足以引发一番深刻的自我审视，而当这些片段叠加起来时，它们带来的改变足以让世界发生微妙而不可逆的重组——就像脚下的重力悄然偏移。新的规则正在生效，而他既不愿面对这些新规则，更不愿思考它们背后更深的含义。不是在这里，不是现在。

It felt pleasant. He wanted to focus on that.
这感觉很美妙。他只想沉溺其中。

"As you like," Alucard purred, leaning in again. The kiss started where the last one had left off: hard, hungry, devouring, the vampire subtly nudging him to get a better angle or guide Alexander when it was obvious that he was out of his depth with the hands still cupping his face. Alexander's heart was pounding so hard and fast Alucard had to be able to feel it, and to his dismay it wasn't all due to fear and guilt.
"如你所愿。"阿卡多发出满足的喉音再度倾身。这个吻延续着上个吻的暴烈：强势、贪婪、吞噬般的热度，当吸血鬼察觉亚历山大被捧着脸不知所措时，便巧妙调整角度引导他。亚历山大能听见自己震耳欲聋的心跳，而令他惶恐的是——这份悸动并非全然源于恐惧与愧疚。

He felt an odd sort of swirl against his fingers, a velvety tugging sensation like water being sucked down a drain, and then instead of indifferent red fabric he felt Alucard's skin, smooth and perfect. The sudden transition from indifferently room-temperature fabric to icy flesh was shocking, the more so because his nerves instinctively recognized the shape and texture of Alucard's shoulder and his mind insisted that it should be as warm as his own.
他指尖传来奇异的漩涡触感，如同天鹅绒被水流卷进排水孔般的吸附力，随后冷漠的红色布料突然变成了阿卡多的肌肤——光滑完美得不可思议。从室温布料到冰冷肉体的骤然转变令人战栗，更震撼的是他的神经本能地识别出阿卡多肩膀的轮廓与质地，而理智却顽固地认为那本该与自己体温相同。

Alucard's hands left his face, sliding down between them to tug gently at the buttons to Alexander's plain black shirt.
阿卡多的手从他脸上移开，滑落至两人之间，轻轻拨弄着亚历山大那件朴素黑衬衫的纽扣。

Alexander hated how affirming it was, realizing that the vampire had noted his preference for silent signals and communication and was keeping to them –however ironic the term was– religiously. Alucard accepted his need not to talk about this and met him halfway –it was fulfilling and it was vulnerable all at once, to understand and be understood so intimately.
亚历山大厌恶这种被印证的感觉——意识到吸血鬼注意到了他偏爱沉默的信号与交流方式，并虔诚地遵循着这些规则，尽管"虔诚"这个词在此处充满讽刺。阿尔卡特接受了他不愿谈论此事的需要，并与他达成默契。这种被如此亲密地理解与理解他人的体验，既令人满足又使人脆弱不堪。

In any case, he understood what the vampire wanted, and didn't stop him as Alucard began to divest him as well.
不过，他终究明白了吸血鬼的意图，当阿尔卡特继续为他宽衣时，他并未阻拦。

Very quickly.  动作快得惊人。

Alexander sucked in a startled breath and pulled away when Alucard had his shirt halfway off his shoulders and hanging open around his torso within seconds of his tacit acceptance, staring at him in shock as Alucard paused, looking at him attentively.
亚历山大倒吸一口凉气，在阿尔卡特默许后的几秒内，他的衬衫已被褪至肩头、松散地挂在躯干上。他震惊地瞪着突然停住动作、正专注凝视他的吸血鬼。

"How did you-"  "你怎么——"

"I've had a lot of practice undressing a human partner," Alucard answered with a wicked smirk, tugging on the shirt again as a blush burned across Alexander's face and he tentatively loosened his grip on Alucard's shoulders, allowing the vampire to slide it off completely.
"我有很多为人类伴侣宽衣解带的经验，"阿卡德带着邪恶的笑容回答，再次拉扯衬衫，亚历山大的脸上泛起红晕，他试探性地松开了抓住阿卡德肩膀的手，让吸血鬼完全脱下了衬衫。

Now with some space to look at things, Alexander noted again how odd it was to see Alucard without his enveloping clothing. The vampire always had some kind of cloak or cape dragging at his heels, as needlessly ominous as it was dramatic, and he looked both smaller and larger without it.
现在有了些观察的空间，亚历山大再次注意到，看到阿卡德不穿那身包裹严实的衣服是多么奇怪。吸血鬼总是拖着某种斗篷或披风，既戏剧化又刻意营造不祥之感，而脱去这些后，他看起来既更小又更大。

There wasn't a single scar, freckle, or blemish on his naked torso, just a smooth pale expanse of unnaturally perfect skin, etched with the faint outline of muscles, and without thinking Alexander spread his hand over Alucard's chest, over his heart. The space beneath his palm was cold and still, and he was aware of the vampire watching him, silently.
他赤裸的上身没有一丝疤痕、雀斑或瑕疵，只有一片光滑苍白的肌肤，完美得不自然，隐约可见肌肉轮廓。亚历山大不假思索地将手覆在阿卡德的胸口，覆盖住心脏的位置。掌心下的空间冰冷而静止，他能感觉到吸血鬼正无声地注视着他。

Alucard lifted a gloved hand of his own, placing it over Alexander's as his fingers moved in a gentle caress over the priest's.
阿卡德抬起自己戴着手套的手，覆在亚历山大的手上，手指温柔地抚过神父的指节。

"Was it like this when you woke up?" Alexander asked quietly.
"你苏醒时也是这种感觉吗？"亚历山大轻声问道。

"I wouldn't know," Alucard said, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards slightly. "I was without my head for the first few minutes, and by the time I reformed, I had an army to teach a lesson to."
"我不清楚，"阿卡德嘴角微微抽动，"最初几分钟我连脑袋都没有，等身体重组完毕时，还得去教训一支军队。"

"Is it odd?"  "这很奇怪吗？"

Alucard was silent for a long moment.
阿卡德沉默良久。

"I miss some of my old scars," he murmured eventually, with the sense that he was telling Alexander something that he had never told anyone. "I considered them memories of victories I had won."
"我怀念某些旧伤，"他最终低声说道，带着向亚历山大吐露从未告人之事的意味。"我曾将它们视为胜利的纪念。"

The fingers of the vampire's free hand grazed up his ribs, marking an injury that only he could remember now.
吸血鬼空着的那只手抚上他的肋骨，指尖掠过一道如今只有他自己记得的伤痕。

"It was odd, having them gone in my old form."
"以旧日形态重生时，失去它们的感觉很怪异。"

"And in this one?" Alexander asked. Alucard's gaze flicked back up to him, and the vampire huffed, smiling again.
"那这张呢？"亚历山大问道。阿卡德的目光重新落回他身上，吸血鬼轻哼一声，再度露出微笑。

"You of all people know that this body has nothing to do with how I was in the past," Alucard chuckled, fingers stirring in another caress over Alexander's. "Besides, if you're going to ask me about my scars, its only fair that I ask about yours."
"在所有人中，你最该明白这副躯壳与过去的我毫无关联，"阿尔卡特低笑着，手指在亚历山大的手背上又轻轻摩挲了一下。"况且，若你要打听我的伤疤，我问问你的才公平。"

Alexander shivered as the vampire's cool touch glided across his cheek.
当吸血鬼冰凉的手指滑过他的脸颊时，亚历山大不禁打了个寒颤。

"It was a long time ago," he mumbled, distracted and not sure which terrifying intimacy he should turn to: physical or mental.
"那是很久以前的事了，"他含糊地嘟囔着，心不在焉地不确定该面对哪种可怕的亲密：肉体上的还是精神上的。

"I can imagine, since I've yet to find anything that can scar you past your regeneration," Alucard said dryly. "Even when Walter created the Jackal specifically for you."
"我能想象，毕竟我还没找到能超越你再生能力的伤害方式，"阿卡德干巴巴地说。"就连沃尔特专门为你打造的豺狼也没能做到。"

"Don't talk about that now either." It was bad enough discussing intimacy when they were engaged in it –discussing outside matters, especially in their nebulous, bloody, and violent grey area between rivalry and something else, was beyond Alexander's capabilities at the moment.
"现在也别提那件事。"在亲密行为中讨论亲密关系已经够糟糕了——更何况要在这片介于敌对关系与其他情感之间、模糊血腥又暴力的灰色地带谈论外界事务，这完全超出了亚历山大此刻的承受能力。

"So, just don't talk at all?" Alucard asked, giving him a wry look. "I'm sure we can find an activity to accommodate that."
"所以，干脆完全不说话？"阿卡德歪着头露出促狭的笑容，"我相信我们能找到适合这种状态的活动。"

Alexander made an incoherent noise, jerking his hand away and going red.
亚历山大发出一声含糊的呜咽，猛地抽回手，涨红了脸。

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know exactly where this is going, Anderson," Alucard told him, hair starting to waver as shadows began to fill the room.
"哦，别装得好像你不知道接下来会发生什么，安德森，"阿卡德对他说，发丝开始飘动，阴影逐渐充斥整个房间。

Alexander watched them warily out of the corner of his eye, but it seemed like Alucard didn't intend to make them approach, instead content with filling the room from top to bottom. The shimmering black and red covered the saturated colors of the stained glass and the serviceable white of the plaster between said windows, crawling across the floor, creeping up the ceiling, blocking out everything but the two of them and the light from the candles. The shadows overwhelmed the holy sanctity of the church, leaving the two of them alone in their sin, and Alexander felt simultaneously reassured and even more nervous.
亚历山大用余光警惕地观察着那些阴影，但阿尔卡特似乎无意驱使它们靠近，只是放任其填满整个空间。闪烁的黑红浪潮淹没了彩绘玻璃的浓烈色泽与窗间素白灰泥，在地板上蔓延，向天花板攀爬，将烛光之外的一切都隔绝在外。阴影吞噬了教堂的神圣性，只余他们二人在罪孽中独处，这既让亚历山大感到安心，又平添了几分紧张。

He felt a tug on his trousers and looked down, then jumped, face reddening further, as he saw shadows weaving through his belt and crawling over his shoes, loosening his clothing far more quickly than the vampire could've managed on his own. When he looked at Alucard to complain, he was met with a fierce kiss, and instead of guiding him into it, the vampire took what he wanted, hands sliding over Alexander's body instead as he stiffened –in more ways than one– at that icy touch.
他感觉到裤腰被扯动，低头时惊得浑身一颤——阴影正穿梭于皮带间，如活物般漫过鞋面，解衣速度远超吸血鬼徒手所能及。当他抬头想抗议时，却被一个凶猛的吻堵住了嘴。这次阿尔卡特没再引导他，而是肆意索取着，双手在亚历山大绷紧的身躯上游走——那冰凉的触感让他浑身僵硬，且不止一种意义上的僵硬。

Too fast, he wanted to tell Alucard, too fast and too much all at once, but at the same time he knew if he said that then the vampire would stop, and Alexander didn't want him to stop, not completely. Despite knowing where this was going, despite feeling the vampire peel his clothes away from him, despite being flustered more badly than he had been in his entire life by the feeling of the vampire's nude body pressing against his, he didn't tell him to stop.
太快了，他想告诉阿尔卡特，这一切发生得太快太猛烈。但与此同时他清楚，一旦说出口吸血鬼就会停下，而亚历山大并不希望他停下——至少不要彻底停下。尽管预见到接下来的发展，尽管感受着吸血鬼剥开他衣物的触感，尽管被对方赤裸身躯紧贴的体验搅得比这辈子任何时候都要慌乱，他终究没有喊停。

No, his protests were saved for when the vampire suddenly shifted, pushing him back hard, and Alexander both abruptly remembered and felt the fact that the altar was directly behind him as it caught under his legs and he was forced to fall back, one elbow jerking painfully against the wooden surface to keep himself from smacking into it in an uncontrolled fall as Alucard pulled back.
不，他的抗议被硬生生咽了回去——当吸血鬼突然变换姿势，将他狠狠向后推去时。亚历山大这才猛然想起祭坛就在身后，而他的腿弯已经撞上木质边缘。他被迫向后仰倒，手肘在木制台面上硌得生疼，才勉强避免整个人失控地摔在祭坛上。此刻阿尔卡特正抽身后退。

Then he realized exactly where he was and what the smug, excited look on Alucard's face meant, and panicked.
当他终于意识到所处位置，以及阿卡德脸上那抹得意又兴奋的笑容意味着什么时，恐慌瞬间席卷全身。

"No-"  "不——"

Alexander surged upwards, only to be met by Alucard's hand against the flat of his chest as the vampire pushed him back down, back hitting the altar was he was pinned firmly against it. His cheeks burned red as shadows crept over his hands, sealing them in place and pinning him as firmly as steel shackles.
亚历山大猛地起身，却被吸血鬼一掌按在胸口推回祭坛，后背重重撞上石台。暗影如铁镣般缠绕他的双手，将他牢牢禁锢。他双颊烧得通红，眼睁睁看着阴影爬满手臂。

"Not here, Alucard!"  "别在这里，阿卡德！"

"What better place to take a lover than before the eyes of God?" Alucard asked as he bent down, murmuring into the priest's ear. "It's not vows or a ceremony, but I think we can make do."
"还有什么地方比在上帝眼前更适宜与爱人缠绵呢？"阿卡德俯身低语，温热气息拂过神父耳畔，"虽无誓约也无仪式，但我想我们总能将就。"

Alexander snorted with ill humor.
亚历山大不悦地哼了一声。

"Which of us is the bride in that macabre scenario?" he asked, not sure if he would like the answer. Alucard pulled back with a smirk, looking deep into Alexander's eyes as he extended his long, serpentine tongue and licked it wetly over one finger, implicit sensuality in every movement.
"在那个可怕的场景里，我们俩谁是新娘子？"他问道，不确定自己是否会喜欢这个答案。阿卡德带着坏笑退开，一边用蛇般的长舌湿漉漉地舔过一根手指，一边深深望进亚历山大的眼睛，每个动作都透着露骨的色情意味。

"I wonder," he said dryly as Alexander's blush deepened even further.
"我在想，"他干巴巴地说道，看着亚历山大的脸红得更深了。

"What, exactly, are you going to do here, vampire?" he asked, trying to sound wary and not breathless.
"吸血鬼，你到底想在这里干什么？"他问道，试图让自己的语气听起来充满戒备而非喘息。

"That depends," Alucard said, settling between Alexander's legs as the vampire's voice vibrated up through his knees and into every bone and muscle of his chest. Alucard tilted his head with a smirk. "What are you going to let me do?"
"这取决于，"阿卡德说着在亚历山大双腿间安顿下来，吸血鬼的声音从他膝盖震颤而上，穿透胸口的每根骨头与肌肉。阿卡德歪着头露出冷笑。"你准备允许我做到什么程度？"

Alexander swallowed hard.
亚历山大艰难地咽了咽口水。

"Find out for yourself," he said tightly, which would've sounded a lot more like the threat he wanted it to be if not for their position.
"自己来发现，"他紧绷着说道，若不是他们此刻的体位，这话本该更像他想要表达的威胁。

"Are you sure you want to give me that kind of freedom?" Alucard purred, hands drifting over Alexander's bare chest, his touch slow, exploratory, exquisite, making the priest choke on a whine as his whole body flinched and pushed upwards. He was more achingly hard than he had ever been and he hated how Alucard could make him feel this way with just a few idle damned touches. "My past selves had a lot of ideas about what to do with you. I'll have to make sure to take my time to match their inventiveness."
"你确定要给我这种自由吗？"阿卡德低语道，双手在亚历山大裸露的胸膛上游走，他的触碰缓慢、探索而精妙，让神父在呜咽中窒息，整个身体战栗着向上拱起。他从未如此痛苦地硬挺过，憎恨着阿卡德仅用几个该死的随意触碰就能让他沦陷至此。"我的前世们对如何处置你有许多构想。我得确保慢慢来，才能配得上他们的创意。"

"Sh-shut-"  "闭、闭嘴——"

He keened when the vampire's touch raced down his chest to wrap around his erection, giving it just a light squeeze. That alone was enough to make him writhe, precum dribbling down his length as he desperately fought the urge to thrust up wantonly against the vampire's hand.
当吸血鬼的利爪顺着胸膛滑下握住他勃起时，他发出呜咽般的呻吟。仅仅是轻轻一握就让他腰肢乱颤，前端渗出清液，他拼命克制着不要放荡地往那手掌里顶撞。

"I wouldn't be so mouthy if I was in your situation, priest," Alucard said with a smug leer. "You're sensitive enough as to be untouched, and you know how much I enjoy virgins."
"神父，换作是你处在这种境地，我可不会这么嘴硬，"阿尔卡特露出得意的淫笑，"你敏感得像个处子，而你知道我有多喜欢处子。"

"Bite me and I put a bayonet through your fucking skull," Alexander wheezed, fingers tensing and curling under the heavy grip of the shadows, legs tensing as he tried to find purchase somewhere, anywhere that didn't have him pushing into that sinfully good touch. Alucard had left his legs free, but that didn't mean much, not when the vampire was already wedged comfortably between his knees and clearly there to stay until he dragged something out of Alexander.
"敢咬我就用刺刀捅穿你的天灵盖，"亚历山大喘息着说道，手指在阴影的沉重掌控下绷紧蜷曲，双腿肌肉紧绷，试图寻找任何能让他摆脱这罪恶快感的支点。阿尔卡特放开了他的双腿，但这毫无意义——当吸血鬼已经惬意地卡在他双膝之间时，显然不榨出点什么绝不会离开。

Alucard purred at that threat, leaning down to let his tongue trace over the crook of Alexander's neck and shoulder.
阿尔卡特对这番威胁发出满足的呼噜声，俯身让舌尖沿着亚历山大颈肩交接处的凹陷游走。

"So delightfully violent, as always," he murmured, nearly a moan as he moved downwards, tracing the line of Alexander's artery down over his clavicle. "Will you rip me apart as I tear into you, Anderson? Oh, let me feel every sensation you can bring to bear, my nemesis?!"
"一如既往地令人愉悦的暴力啊，"他低语着，几乎是呻吟般向下移动，指尖沿着亚历山大的动脉滑过锁骨。"你会在我撕开你的同时将我撕碎吗，安德森？哦，让我感受你能带来的每一种感觉吧，我的宿敌？！"

Alexander jerked upwards, biting his tender lips hard enough to make them bleed again, as Alucard's tongue swirled lasciviously around a nipple and his teeth soon followed. It felt better than anything that minor had a right to feel, and his breathless curses cracked and whined in the air as Alucard applied both hands and mouth thoroughly over the priest's body, drinking in every sound, every twitch, every heaving gasp with hooded red eyes and a pleased expression that hovered just on the sadistic side of fond.
亚历山大猛地弓起身子，狠狠咬住自己渗血的柔软唇瓣，此时阿卡德的舌头正淫靡地绕着乳尖打转，随即利齿便啃咬上来。这快感远超凡人应有的体验，神父破碎的喘息与呜咽在空气中震颤，吸血鬼用双手与唇舌彻底征服着这具躯体。他眯起的猩红眼眸餍足地捕捉着每一声呻吟、每一次战栗、每一记剧烈的抽气，脸上浮动的愉悦神情在宠溺中透着施虐的意味。

Dimly, with the parts of him that could still think, Alexander knew that the vampire was still holding back, still pacing himself at least a little as he slathered his long, pointed tongue over his own fingers, getting them obscenely wet and shining in the wavering light of the candles all around before lowering his hand again.
恍惚间，亚历山大残存的理智意识到吸血鬼仍在克制。当那修长尖舌舔舐自己手指时，对方至少还保留着几分余力。烛火摇曳中，湿润指尖泛着淫靡水光，随后那只手再次向他探来。

The vampire was hard, Alexander had seen it before he looked away to block out the sight of the inevitable. He wasn't ready to face that, not quite yet, and the vampire knew that, because if he went at the pace he was undoubtedly capable of, that Alucard clearly wanted to, he would've broken Alexander in half by now.
吸血鬼早已硬挺，亚历山大在别过脸回避这不可避免的景象前就瞥见了。他还没准备好面对这个，至少现在不行，而吸血鬼心知肚明——若按对方那昭然若揭的急切本性行事，此刻他早该被撕成两半了。

The thought was oddly arousing. Straining against each other as a violent exercise was fulfilling, so how much more so would it be as an intimacy…?
这个念头莫名令人血脉偾张。既然暴力对抗能带来满足，那么亲密交融又该是何等销魂……？

Alexander didn't have the wherewithal to tell Alucard to stop as one of those skilled hands moved between his thighs –on the contrary, he found them parting, and he closed his eyes tightly, panting gasps rasping at his throat as the pleasure subsumed him, dragged his mind apart and made him all too pliant for what the vampire wanted.
亚历山大无力让阿卡德停下，当那只娴熟的手游移到他大腿之间时——恰恰相反，他发现自己正主动分开双腿。他紧闭双眼，喉间溢出破碎的喘息，快感如潮水般将他吞没，撕碎他的理智，使他彻底屈服于吸血鬼的所欲所求。

There would be confessions for this later, confession and prayer and all too many whirling emotions bound up together, but for now, they were as intimately alone as they had been within the visions, as Alexander had been within the sanctuary, and he found that he didn't have the will or energy to maintain a façade around Alucard anymore. He wanted him, and they both knew it.
事后必将为此忏悔，会有告解、祈祷与太多纠缠不清的汹涌情绪。但此刻，他们如同幻象中那般亲密独处，就像亚历山大曾在圣所中的状态。他发现自己再也无力在阿卡德面前维持任何伪装。他想要他，而他们彼此心知肚明。

As ever, the two of them were too much alike.
一如既往，他们两人实在太过相似。

All thoughts were forcefully ripped from Alexander's head as the vampire's exploratory fingers roamed over a certain special spot deep within him, and he didn't just keen, he shrieked, body moving before his mind as he jerked wantonly against Alucard, whimpering, please, God, it was the most intense pleasure he had ever felt in his life, he wanted more, needed more…
当吸血鬼探索的手指深入他体内某个特殊位置时，所有思绪都被强行从亚历山大脑海中抽离。他不仅发出呜咽，更是尖声惊叫，身体先于意识做出反应，饥渴地扭动着贴近阿卡德，啜泣着祈求——天啊，这是他此生体验过最极致的快感，他想要更多，渴求更多……

Alucard growled, low and primal, and he moved over Alexander like water, hands and shadows pushing and pulling at his knees, lifting them up, spreading him, and the vampire's teeth tore into Alexander's mouth in a harsh, fierce kiss, filling his mouth with the taste of death and his own blood. Alexander pushed back and found his hands free, the vampire's shadows likely occupied with his legs at this point, and his fingers dove into Alucard's hair as Alexander surged into the kiss, feeling the inky tendrils wind and tangle through his fingers with a life of their own.
阿尔卡特发出低沉原始的咆哮，如水般覆上亚历山大的身躯，双手与阴影摆弄着他的膝盖，将其抬高分开。吸血鬼的利齿狠狠刺入亚历山大口中，这个凶暴的吻让他尝到死亡与自己鲜血的味道。亚历山大挣扎时发现双手重获自由——吸血鬼的阴影此刻想必正忙着固定他的双腿——他的手指插进阿尔卡特发间回吻，感受那些墨色发丝如活物般在指间缠绕游走。

Alucard shifted and multiple things clicked together at once, the purpose of the spit, those damned/blessed fingers that had pulled and stretched at him and touched him there, the position that Alucard had pulled and now held him in, and above all the feeling of the vampire's cock as it brushed against his ass. Alexander wasn't ready, but he was also far, far past backing out.
阿尔卡特变换姿势，数个关节同时发出脆响，唾液的作用、那些该死/神圣的手指对他又拉又扯的扩张、吸血鬼此刻钳制他的体位，尤其是那根抵在他臀间的性器——亚历山大还没准备好，但也早已无路可退。

Alexander couldn't describe the noise he made against Alucard's tongue when the vampire penetrated him, only that he didn't want to describe it as another layer of red joined the deep blush painting his face and most of his chest.
当吸血鬼进入他时，亚历山大无法形容自己在阿尔卡特舌下发出的声响，只知道自己不愿描述——随着又一层红晕染上他通红的脸庞和大部分胸膛，那声音更难以启齿了。

It hurt. It felt good. It was new. It was perfect.
痛楚。快感。新奇。完美。

He wasn't sure what the hell he was supposed to do now, but Alucard solved that problem neatly by starting to move against him, and at that point Alexander wasn't capable of doing anything but obeying the impulses that surged through his body, moving back against the vampire with a wantonness he vaguely hoped he wouldn't remember later as Alucard slammed against him hard enough for bruises to bloom before fading all over his skin. Alucard's body was cold and dead, but everywhere he touched Alexander felt merely cool, even his tongue, even his cock, and nothing had ever felt so good.
他此刻全然不知所措，但阿卡多用身体律动利落地解决了这个难题。当吸血鬼以足以留下淤青的力度撞向他时，亚历山大只能顺从体内奔涌的冲动，放纵地迎合着对方，暗自希望这份放浪形骸不会留在记忆里。阿卡多的躯体冰冷死寂，可所有触碰过的地方都只余凉意，无论是舌尖还是性器，而世间再无比这更美妙的感受。

Alucard's pace was fast, violent, almost merciless, and he frequently broke away to scrape his tongue or his teeth across the increasingly sensitive portions of Alexander's neck and chest, keeping barely within his unspoken promise not to bite as bruise-deep hickeys joined the fading marks on Alexander's skin. It was a disappointment that those were marks of intimacy that neither of them could share, as the steady and building pleasure slowly broke down Alexander's inhibitions enough to reciprocate that as well, brushing his lips over the unnatural chill of Alucard's flesh and hearing the vampire shudder and sigh in his ear, just a light exhale, but more than enough when Alexander knew that the vampire didn't need to breathe at all.
阿卡多的节奏迅猛而粗暴，近乎残忍。他时常抽离身躯，用舌尖与利齿掠过亚历山大愈发敏感的颈窝与胸膛，在那些逐渐消退的旧痕旁烙下淤血般的吻痕，勉强恪守着不言明的承诺不曾咬破皮肤。这些亲密印记终究无法被世人知晓的遗憾，随着持续攀升的快感逐渐瓦解了亚历山大的克制，让他也开始以同样方式回应——双唇游走过吸血鬼异常冰冷的肌肤时，他听见阿卡多在耳畔的战栗与叹息，那不过是声轻浅的吐息，却已足够震撼，毕竟亚历山大深知这吸血鬼根本无需呼吸。

Then Alucard shifted and tugged up his knees a little, and Alexander's scream rang through the enclosed space as white-hot ecstasy seared up his spine and he felt his own seed land on his belly, slick and hot. Alucard purred at the sight, a purr that rippled down his entire form as his hair shifted and writhed, and he began to move at that new angle, even harder, plunging Alexander down into an abyss of pleasure and drowning him with the sensations it evoked. The word rapture lanced across his mind amidst the pulses of heat, and Alexander would've groaned at the irony if he had the breath or the coherency.
当阿卡德突然屈起膝弯调整角度时，亚历山大的尖叫声在密闭空间里炸开。白炽的快感沿着脊椎窜上来，他感到自己的体液溅落在小腹上，黏热一片。阿卡德见状发出餍足的呼噜声，这震颤传遍他扭动的发丝与全身。吸血鬼开始以新角度更凶悍地进攻，将亚历山大推入快感的深渊，用汹涌的感官浪潮将他彻底淹没。在灼热脉冲的间隙，"狂喜"这个词刺穿他的脑海，倘若还有余力保持清醒，亚历山大定会为这讽刺的联想发出呻吟。

Blood joined the mess between them as they surged and moved together, dripping thickly down Alexander's chin and over his heaving bare chest as he and Alucard kissed frantically, sloppily, not caring about air –Alexander was the only one who needed to breathe– or Alucard's fangs as they cut into the priest's mouth and tongue again and again and again. Endorphins racing through his system, Alexander didn't have the ability to think or to care, and Alucard was receiving more than enough stimulation to leave the vampire in a similarly dazed, wanton state.
黏稠血液混着浊液在他们交缠的躯体间流淌，顺着亚历山大起伏的赤裸胸膛与下颌滴落。他与阿卡德疯狂地啃咬着彼此，唇舌交缠间全然不顾氧气——毕竟需要呼吸的只有神父一人——也不管吸血鬼的尖牙如何反复刺穿他的口腔与舌头。内啡肽在血管里奔涌，亚历山大丧失了思考与顾忌的能力，而阿卡德获得的刺激足以让这头吸血鬼同样陷入恍惚而放纵的狂态。

Blood and aggression shared between them –it was too familiar, too intimate, and Alexander was never going to be able to face the vampire in combat again without remembering this night.
鲜血与暴戾在他们之间交融——这感觉太过熟悉，太过亲密，亚历山大知道今后每次与吸血鬼兵刃相见时，都再难忘记今夜种种。

"Come for me, priest," Alucard breathed harshly against his cut and swollen lips, thrusting against him furiously. "Come for me again, my beloved nemesis."
"为我而来吧，神父，"阿卡德喘息着抵上他割裂肿胀的唇瓣，发狠地顶弄。"再为我绽放一次，我亲爱的宿敌。"

Something in him snapped upon hearing that, and Alexander's breathless curse became an incoherent scream as he obeyed and came, the aftermath shaking through him like the remnants of an earthquake as his nerves buzzed and tingled, arms clasped around the vampire's neck and fingers tearing into the sharp protrusions of his shoulderblades as Alucard continued to chase his own finish.
这句话让他体内某根弦突然绷断，亚历山大断断续续的咒骂化作不成调的尖叫，他服从本能达到高潮，余震如地震波般席卷全身，神经末梢噼啪作响，双臂环住吸血鬼的脖颈，手指抠进对方肩胛骨的尖锐凸起处，而阿卡多仍在追逐自己的极致欢愉。

"Beautiful," Alucard murmured in tones reserved for worship, lips gliding over the line of Alexander's jaw. "My surprise, my Jerusalem. My Alexander Anderson."
"真美，"阿卡多用近乎虔诚的语调呢喃，双唇沿着亚历山大的下颌线游移。"我的惊喜，我的耶路撒冷。我的亚历山大·安德森。"

Alexander nearly sobbed from the feeling of the vampire's cock dragging within him. "A-Alucard!"
亚历山大几乎因体内吸血鬼阳具的抽插而啜泣出声。"阿-阿卡多！"

"I will crawl into your soul and rip even the thought of anyone else away," Alucard growled harshly in his ear, starting to shudder as an edge of incoherency, even desperation began to creep into his own voice. "You are mine. You are mine."
"我要钻进你的灵魂，把想着别人的念头都撕碎，"阿卡多在他耳边嘶哑低吼，声音开始颤抖，带着几分语无伦次甚至绝望。"你是我的。你是我的。"

"Yours!" Alexander choked willingly, unthinkingly, and there was probably a reason that the vampire snarled and came immediately afterwards, tensing, his body curling against Alexander's, pressing down heavily against his skin like Alucard wanted to push right through it.
"你的！"亚历山大心甘情愿地、不假思索地哽咽道，或许正是这句话让吸血鬼发出低吼并瞬间绷紧身躯，他的躯体蜷缩着压向亚历山大，沉重得仿佛要穿透皮肤般紧贴上来。

They rode the aftermath out together like that, twisted together and entangled in ways Alexander couldn't even begin to pick apart, him shaky and sweating, gasping for air, Alucard locked against him like a statue, unwilling to be pushed back a single inch as he soaked in Alexander's warmth with half-lidded eyes, resting where he was draped against Alexander's chest.
他们就这样共同承受着余韵，肢体交缠成亚历山大无法理清的复杂姿态——他颤抖着、汗湿淋漓、喘息不止，而阿尔卡特如雕塑般紧贴着他，拒绝被推开分毫，半阖着眼汲取他胸膛的温度，就这样倚靠在他身上。

Eventually, finally, after at least ten minutes, when his pulse and breathing had climbed back to manageable levels and he thought he could string more than a few syllables together, Alexander inhaled and looked at the vampire.
最终，至少十分钟后，当他的脉搏和呼吸逐渐恢复到可控水平，自认为能连贯说出几个音节时，亚历山大深吸一口气，望向吸血鬼。

"This better not have been all you had in mind," he said as sharply as he was able, and Alucard smiled, fingers idly meandering down Alexander's chest. He tried not to shiver at the need that touch ignited in him.
"你最好不止这点打算，"他尽可能尖锐地说道，阿尔卡特微笑着，手指慵懒地在亚历山大胸前游走。他竭力抑制着那触碰在他体内点燃的渴望所带来的战栗。

"Oh, of course not," Alucard hummed lazily. "I've sated neither myself nor my curiosity, and I doubt you have either. We can save the rest for next time."
"噢，当然不是现在，"阿卡德慵懒地哼笑道，"无论是我的饥渴还是好奇心都远未满足，想必你也一样。剩下的我们可以留到下次。"

Alexander swallowed thickly and tried to remind himself that he had to sleep tonight, and more than that, people would come looking for him if he stayed here for that much longer.
亚历山大艰难地咽了口唾沫，试图提醒自己今晚还得睡觉，更重要的是，如果在这里逗留太久，肯定会有人来找他。

"N-next time?" he asked, voice still a little shaky.
"下...下次？"他问道，声音仍带着些许颤抖。

"You've yet to bare your soul in return," Alucard said, glancing up at him with a brief flicker of not-entirely-playful irritation. "And you probably have more questions about me. I propose a deal."
"你还没向我袒露灵魂作为交换，"阿卡德说着，抬眼瞥了他一下，流露出一丝并非全然玩笑的恼怒，"而且你大概对我还有更多疑问。我提议做个交易。"

"A deal?"  "交易？"

"Whoever wins our next fight can ask a question about the other," Alucard said, before baring his fangs in a mocking smile. "In case you were feeling reluctant to face me in battle after this little tryst."
"下次对决的胜者可以向对方提一个问题，"阿卡德露出獠牙，露出一个嘲弄的笑容，"免得你在这场小幽会后不敢再与我交手。"

Alexander flushed and looked away, acutely aware of the mess on him and the vampire's length within him.
亚历山大涨红了脸别过头，强烈意识到自己身上的狼藉和体内吸血鬼的存在。

"I'm not that easily swayed," he mumbled, and sensed more than saw the vampire's smile turn fond, warm in a way he had never seen before.
"我没那么容易动摇，"他咕哝着，虽未看见却能感觉到吸血鬼的笑容变得温柔，那种他从未见过的温暖神情。

"I know," Alucard said softly, those cold fingers brushing over Alexander's heart for a moment. "Believe me, I know."
"我知道，"阿卡德轻声说，冰冷的手指短暂抚过亚历山大的心口，"相信我，我太清楚了。"