Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/45348790.
最初发布于我们的档案网站 http://archiveofourown.org/works/45348790。

Summary 摘要

Charles is not an idiot. He knows there’s a part of him that has been at least a little bit in love with Max for as long as they’ve known each other. But he’s always been able to shove it down. Burying it under rivalries and competitiveness until it was getting hard to differentiate between love and hate. And that had worked, for a really long time.
查尔斯并不是个傻瓜。他知道自己心中至少有一部分对马克斯一直以来都有些爱慕之情，自他们相识以来就是如此。但他总是能够将这种情感压抑下去。将其埋藏在竞争和对抗之下，直到很难分清爱与恨。而这在很长一段时间内都奏效。

And then Max had to go and barge into his life and be really fucking cute with his baby.
然后马克斯不得不闯入他的生活，和他的宝宝真的可爱得让人受不了。

Notes 笔记
before i say ANYTHING else, i want to express my never ending love and gratitude for eby, because without her this fic simply wouldn’t have existed. this is for you $<3$$<3$< 3<3
在我说任何其他话之前，我想表达我对 eby 永恒的爱和感激，因为没有她，这个小说根本不会存在。这是献给你的 $<3$$<3$< 3<3
those of you who follow me on tumblr know this fic as been a long time coming but!!! she’s finally here!!! i hope you all enjoy it 😄
那些在 tumblr 上关注我的人知道这篇小说酝酿了很久，但！！！她终于来了！！！希望你们都喜欢它😄

Julie won’t stop crying. She’s been at it for over an hour at this point, her small little hands balled into fists and her face screwed up as she wails loudly. Charles has tried everything. He has fed her, changed her diaper, walked around the hotel room as he rocked her gently, he has - very badly and very off-key - sung her every lullaby he knows. He’s just trying to decide if it’s worth it leaving his hotel room at eleven at night to take her on a walk in the stroller to see if that calms her down, when Julie hiccups miserably and her wailing quiets to a sad blubbering sound.
朱莉不停地哭泣。到现在为止，她已经哭了一个多小时，她的小手握成拳头，脸上扭曲着，痛苦地大声嚎叫。查尔斯试过一切。他给她喂过食，换过尿布，抱着她在酒店房间里走来走去，轻轻摇晃着他，还非常糟糕且走音地唱了他知道的每一首摇篮曲。他正在考虑，晚上十一点离开酒店房间，推着婴儿车带她出去散步是否值得，看看这样是否能让她平静下来，这时朱莉悲惨地打了个嗝，哭声渐渐变成了伤心的呜咽声。

Charles sighs in relief as he gently sits down on the couch in the middle of his hotel room, adjusting her in his arms. She’s still not happy, far from it, but she’s a lot more quiet, and it allows Charles some time to think at least.
查尔斯松了一口气，轻轻坐在酒店房间中央的沙发上，怀里抱着她。她仍然不高兴，远非如此，但她安静了许多，这至少给了查尔斯一些思考的时间。

That time is short lived, however, as he’s interrupted by a loud knocking on his hotel room door almost immediately. He groans, and with a truly herculean effort gets off the couch, adjusting Julie on his hip. She gurgles miserably and buries her face in his neck.
然而，这段时间并不长，因为几乎立刻就被酒店房间门口的猛烈敲击声打断了。他呻吟着，费力地从沙发上站起来，调整了一下怀里的朱莉。她痛苦地咕哝着，把脸埋在他的脖子里。

He cracks the door open a bit, only to reveal an absolutely fuming Max Verstappen.
他稍微打开门缝，露出一个愤怒至极的马克斯·维斯塔潘。
Right. He probably should have seen that one coming.
对。他可能应该预料到这一点。
“What do you want, Max? I’m busy.” He says, hoping Max gets the hint and just leaves.
“你想要什么，马克斯？我很忙。”他说，希望马克斯能明白这个暗示，赶紧离开。
Max sends him an incredulous look. “What do I want? What the fuck do you think I want, Charles? I want to know what the fuck that move was today. You send us fucking flying into the barriers and you want to know what I want? Jesus fucking Christ.” He looks about ready to explode, and Charles flinches a little.
马克斯给了他一个难以置信的眼神。“我想要什么？你觉得我想要什么，查尔斯？我想知道今天那一招到底是什么。你让我们飞进了障碍物，你还想知道我想要什么？天哪。”他看起来快要爆炸了，查尔斯微微退缩了一下。

He knows it’s his fault, both of them DNF’ing today. He knows. His exhaustion from dealing with everything related to Julie for the past few weeks seemed to have caught up with him, and he made a stupid, avoidable mistake. So he gets why Max is mad.
他知道今天两人都没有完成比赛是他的错。他知道。过去几周与朱莉相关的一切让他感到疲惫不堪，这种疲惫似乎终于找上了他，他犯了一个愚蠢且可以避免的错误。所以他明白马克斯为什么生气。

But he is mad, too. Max, at the very least, already has 3 WDC’s. Sure, it would be cool for him to be able to match Seb’s record, but at least he’s won already. Charles, however, is yet to win his first one. And this, this was going to be his year. And then he went and send them in the barriers on the very first race because he can’t seem to get his shit together and get his baby to stop crying all the time.
但他也疯了。马克斯至少已经有了三个世界冠军头衔。没错，能够追平塞巴斯蒂安的纪录当然很酷，但至少他已经赢过了。然而，查尔斯还没有赢得他的第一个冠军。而且，这本该是他的一年。结果他在第一场比赛中就把车撞上了护栏，因为他似乎无法理清思绪，让他的赛车停止不停地哭泣。
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” he says, “Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m sorry I fucked it up. Can I go back to trying to sleep now?”
“是的，我很抱歉，”他说，“这就是你想听的吗？我很抱歉我搞砸了。现在我可以回去试着睡觉了吗？”
“Is that what I wanted to hear?” Max repeats, raising his voice, “What the fuck, Charles, no, what I want to hear, is why-”
“这就是我想听的吗？”马克斯重复道，声音提高，“你在说什么，查尔斯，不，我想听的是，为什么——”

But Charles will never know what Max actually wants to hear, because Julie, who’d been quietly gurgling into his shoulder for most of the conversation, gets startled by Max’s raised voice, and starts crying again. Loudly.
但查尔斯永远不知道马克实际上想听什么，因为朱莉在大部分对话中一直安静地依偎在他的肩膀上，突然被马克提高的声音吓到了，开始再次大声哭泣。
“Shit,” Charles says, turning towards her, accidentally pushing the door further open in the process. “Shh, Julie, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he starts bouncing her, but the damage seems to be done and she’s gone back to full on wailing.
“糟糕，”查尔斯说，转向她，过程中不小心把门推得更开。“嘘，朱莉，没事的，没事的，”他开始轻轻摇晃她，但似乎已经造成了伤害，她又开始放声哭泣。

He glances back at Max, and he can tell the exact moment Max realizes he’s holding a baby. His whole demeanor changes, all the anger bleeding out of his body and the scowl on his face gets replaced by a soft smile. “Oh, hello,” he says, crouching down a little to make eye contact with Julie. “And who are you?”
他回头看了看马克斯，能清楚地看到马克斯意识到他抱着一个婴儿的那一刻。他的整个神态都变了，所有的愤怒都从他的身体里消失，脸上的皱眉被温柔的微笑取代。“哦，你好，”他说，稍微蹲下身与朱莉对视。“你是谁？”
“Julie,” Charles says, slightly thrown by Max’s sudden change in demeanor. “Juliette, actually. Julie for short. Are you done now? I’m trying to get her to sleep.”
“朱莉，”查尔斯说，稍微被马克斯突然的情绪变化弄得有些不知所措。“其实是朱丽叶，简称朱莉。你现在结束了吗？我正在努力让她入睡。”

Max doesn’t respond, instead making a few silly faces at Julie, who’s stopped crying and is watching Max with big watery eyes. “Are you babysitting her?” Max asks, reaching out his hand. Julie grabs his finger, and has the audacity to gurgle happily as she waves it around.
马克没有回应，而是对朱莉做了几个傻脸，朱莉停止了哭泣，正用大大的水汪汪的眼睛看着马克。“你在照顾她吗？”马克问，伸出手。朱莉抓住他的手指，竟然大胆地咕噜咕噜地高兴地摇晃着。
“No,” he says, glaring down at Julie, who seems to be completely enamored with his number one rival. Fucking figures. “No, she’s mine.”
“不，”他盯着朱莉，愤怒地说，朱莉似乎完全被他的头号对手迷住了。真是该死。“不，她是我的。”

Max’s head shoots up, and he looks at Charles with raised eyebrows. He must notice something in Charles’s expression though, because he doesn’t push the topic further. Instead he asks, “Can I hold her?”
马克斯的头猛地抬起，他用挑眉的目光看着查尔斯。不过，他一定注意到了查尔斯脸上的某种表情，因此没有进一步追问这个话题。相反，他问道：“我可以抱她吗？”

Charles wants to tell him to fuck off, to leave them alone, but he’s tired, and he’s been carrying Julie around for like an hour now, nothing seems to be working, and she seems to like Max, so he figures why the fuck not. If anything, it’ll nice to be able to stretch both of his arms for a little bit.
查尔斯想告诉他滚开，让他们一个人呆着，但他累了，已经抱着朱莉一个小时了，什么都没用，她似乎喜欢马克斯，所以他想，为什么不呢。如果有什么好处的话，能稍微伸展一下他的双臂也不错。
“Sure,” he says, and then gently transfers Julie to Max’s awaiting arms.
“当然，”他说，然后轻轻地把朱莉转移到马克斯等待的怀抱中。
The happy gurgling has transformed back to sad little hiccups, and Max bounces her gently as he frowns at her. “What’s got you so upset, little bug?” Julie answering wail has them both flinching.
快乐的咕噜声又变回了伤心的小呜咽，马克斯皱着眉头轻轻地摇晃着她。“是什么让你这么不高兴，小虫子？”朱莉的哭泣回答让他们俩都不由得颤了一下。

Charles sighs and runs his hand through his hair, as he leads Max further into the hotel room. “I don’t know, she’s been like this all evening. I fed her, changed her diaper, bounced her around, sang her songs, nothing seems to be helping.”
查尔斯叹了口气，手指穿过他的头发，带着马克斯走进酒店房间。“我不知道，她今晚一直都是这样。我喂了她，换了她的尿布，抱着她，给她唱歌，似乎没有什么能帮上忙。”

Max hums, and starts walking back and forth in front of the couch as Charles falls down on it. “No fever?” He asks.
马克哼着歌，开始在沙发前来回走动，而查尔斯则倒在沙发上。“没有发烧？”他问。

Charles scrubs his face. “No fever.”
查尔斯擦了擦脸。“没有发烧。”
Max nods. “Did you burp her after feeding?”
马克点点头。“喂完她后你有拍嗝吗？”
Charles lets his head fall back against the couch. “Max, I know look like I have no clue what I’m doing, but I’m not an idiot. Yes, I burped her.”
查尔斯把头靠在沙发上。“马克斯，我知道我看起来毫无头绪，但我不是傻瓜。是的，我打了她的嗝。”

Max hums again, as Julie hiccups sadly and balls her little fists in Max’s shirt. “Maybe she’s just overwhelmed? This must be her first race weekend, right? Lots of new people, lots of
马克斯再次哼唱，朱莉悲伤地打嗝，紧握着小拳头抓住马克斯的衬衫。“也许她只是感到不知所措？这一定是她的第一次比赛周，对吧？有很多新朋友，还有很多……”
new places. I think she might just be exhausted.”
新地方。我想她可能只是累了。
Charles picks his head up and looks at Max. “Oh. Yeah. I hadn’t considered that, actually.” He glances at Julie, who is babbling a little sadly, still gripping on to Max’s shirt. “Should I just put her to bed, then?”
查尔斯抬起头看着马克斯。“哦。是的。我其实没有考虑到这一点。”他瞥了一眼朱莉，朱莉有些伤心地喋喋不休，仍然紧紧抓着马克斯的衬衫。“那我应该把她哄去睡觉吗？”

Max nods. “If she’s not asleep in like ten minutes you can try and soothe her again, but I really do think she’s just sleepy.”
马克斯点头说：“如果她在十分钟内还没睡着，你可以再试着安抚她，但我真的觉得她只是困了。”

Charles gets up off the couch, and takes Julie from Max’s arms, heading towards the crib in one of the little side rooms of his massive hotel room. When he returns, Julie safely tucked in, Max is still standing exactly where he left them.
查尔斯从沙发上站起来，从马克斯的怀抱中接过朱莉，朝着他那间巨大酒店房间的小侧室里的婴儿床走去。当他回来时，朱莉已经安全地躺在床上，而马克斯仍然站在他离开时的地方。
“So are you ready to tell me how you suddenly have a daughter now?” He asks, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow in Charles’s direction.
“那么你准备好告诉我你怎么突然有了一个女儿吗？”他问，双臂交叉，朝查尔斯的方向扬起一眉。

Charles sighs. “One night stand gone wrong. Her mom decided she wasn’t up to the task and dropped her off with me. Anyway, the options were either keep her or put her up for adoption and I-” He huffs, runs a hand through his hair. “You should have seen Julie, Max. It was almost like she knew what was going on, and she just kept looking at me with these big teary eyes, and I couldn’t-” He cuts off again and shrugs almost a little bashfully. “So. I have a daughter now, and her mom is no longer in the picture. She signed the parental rights over and everything.”
查尔斯叹了口气。“一夜情搞砸了。她的妈妈觉得自己无法承担这个责任，就把她送到了我这里。反正，选择就是要么留下她，要么把她送去领养，而我——”他喘了口气，手在头发间梳理。“你应该看看朱莉，马克。她几乎就像知道发生了什么一样，一直用那双大大的泪眼看着我，我无法——”他又停住了，几乎有些害羞地耸了耸肩。“所以，我现在有了一个女儿，而她的妈妈已经不在了。她把监护权签给我了，所有的一切。”
“Christ,” Max says, sending him a sympathetic look. “How long ago did that happen?”
“天哪，”马克斯说，投给他一个同情的眼神。“那件事发生多久了？”
“The baby dropping? Two weeks ago. The one night stand was somewhere in January of 2023,” Charles says, flopping back down on his couch. He half expects Max to join him, but he stays standing in the middle of the room, looking deep in thought.
“孩子掉了？两周前。那次一夜情是在 2023 年 1 月的某个时候，”查尔斯说着，瘫倒在沙发上。他半期待马克能和他一起坐下，但马克却站在房间中央，深思熟虑。
“So that makes Julie…”
“所以这就意味着朱莉……”
“Five months, give or take,” Charles says. Max nods but doesn’t say anything else. An almost awkward silence falls over them, one that Charles desperately wants to break. “Listen, about earlier today, I-”
“五个月，差不多，”查尔斯说。马克点点头，但没有再说什么。两人之间笼罩着一种几乎尴尬的沉默，查尔斯迫切想要打破这种沉默。“听着，关于今天早些时候，我——”

Max waves him off. “It’s fine, I get it now,” he says, glancing in the direction of Julie’s bedroom. “Just don’t let it happen again, yeah? Next time, I don’t know. Just ask for help. I need you fighting on that track with me, not falling asleep behind the wheel.”
马克斯挥手示意他离开。“没事，我现在明白了，”他说，目光扫向朱莉的卧室。“只要下次别再发生了，好吗？下次，我不知道。就求助吧。我需要你和我一起在赛道上拼搏，而不是在方向盘后面打瞌睡。”

Charles rubs a hand over his face. “Yeah, I’ll try.” He yawns then, unable to stop himself, and Max’s expression softens.
查尔斯用手擦了擦脸。“是的，我会试试。”他打了个哈欠，无法控制自己，麦克斯的表情变得柔和。
“Go get some sleep. I’ll see you later, okay?” Max says, and then he’s gone, and for the first time since Charles got back to his hotel room earlier that day, everything is silent.
“去睡觉吧。我待会儿见，好吗？”马克斯说完就离开了，自从查尔斯那天早些时候回到酒店房间以来，第一次一切都变得寂静无声。
(When Charles goes to check on Julie ten minutes later, she’s fast asleep. He tries not to be too annoyed about Max being right, and gently kisses her forehead before finally falling into bed himself.)
（当查尔斯十分钟后去查看朱莉时，她已经沉沉入睡。他努力不去太在意马克说得对，轻轻吻了吻她的额头，然后终于自己也倒在床上。）

Charles’s apartment is a mess. There’s stuff everywhere, from baby clothes to toys, all scattered across various surfaces and throughout different rooms. Charles would feel more guilty about it, but the truth is he simply doesn’t have the time or energy to care very much.
查尔斯的公寓一团糟。到处都是东西，从婴儿衣物到玩具，散落在各个表面和不同的房间里。查尔斯本该对此感到更内疚，但事实是他根本没有时间或精力去在意这些。

Which he regrets tremendously when the doorbell rings, and he swings it open to find Max of all people on the other side of it.
他非常后悔，当门铃响起时，他打开门，发现居然是马克站在门外。
“Hi,” Max says, smiling. He’s holding an assortment of wrapped boxes that look suspiciously like presents.
“嗨，”马克斯微笑着说。他手里拿着一堆包裹得很好的盒子，看起来可疑地像是礼物。

Charles blinks at him. “What are you doing here?” He asks, mostly confused.
查尔斯眨了眨眼。“你在这里做什么？”他问，满脸困惑。
“I got Julie presents!” Max says, raising up the boxes a little.
“我给朱莉买了礼物！”马克斯说，稍微抬起了盒子。
Charles frowns. “Why?” 查尔斯皱起眉头。“为什么？”
Max shrugs. “Aren’t you supposed to get a newborn presents?”
马克耸了耸肩。“难道你不应该给新生儿送礼物吗？”
“Yeah, but she’s not a newborn, is she?” Charles says, crossing his arms.
“是啊，但她不是新生儿，对吧？”查尔斯说，双臂交叉。
Max rolls his eyes. “She is to me. Now, come on, are you going to take these or what?” And with that he unceremoniously drops the boxes in Charles arms and makes his way past him into the apartment. “Jesus Christ, it looks like a bomb exploded in here,” he says, and then, “Hi Julie!” When he spots her rolling around on her playmat in the middle of the living room.
马克翻了个白眼。“对我来说，她就是这样。好了，你到底要不要拿这些？”说完，他毫不客气地把盒子扔到查尔斯的怀里，然后径直走进公寓。“天哪，这里看起来像是炸弹爆炸了一样，”他说，然后看到朱莉在客厅的游戏垫上打滚，便说道：“嗨，朱莉！”

Julie lets out a decisive “Ba!” and throws the ball she was holding across the room.
朱莉发出一个果断的“巴！”然后把她手中的球扔向房间的另一边。
“Well, if you had told me you were coming I would have tidied up a bit,” Charles grumbles, following Max into the living room and putting the presents down onto the coffee table.
“好吧，如果你告诉我你要来，我会稍微收拾一下的，”查尔斯抱怨着，跟着马克斯走进客厅，把礼物放在咖啡桌上。

Max shrugs. “Didn’t have your number.”
马克耸了耸肩。“没有你的号码。”
Charles sends him a skeptical look. “But you know where I live?”
查尔斯用怀疑的目光看着他。“但你知道我住在哪里吗？”
“No, but Pierre does, and I do have his number, so.” Max sits down on the floor next to Julie, who pushes herself up into a sitting position and babbles happily at Max as he hands her her ball back.
“没有，但皮埃尔有，我确实有他的号码。”马克斯坐在朱莉旁边的地板上，朱莉撑起身子坐起来，开心地对马克斯喋喋不休，马克斯把她的球递给她。

Charles considers pointing out Max could’ve just asked Pierre for his number, but decides it’s not worth it, and picks up the first box. “You really didn’t have to get me anything, you know,” he says, carefully peeling the scotch tape off the paper.
查尔斯考虑指出马克斯本可以直接问皮埃尔要他的电话号码，但他决定这没必要，于是拿起了第一个盒子。“你真的不必给我买任何东西，你知道的，”他说，仔细地撕下纸上的透明胶带。
“I know,” Max says, and then doesn’t elaborate, going back to the game of peek-a-boo he started with Julie.
“我知道，”马克斯说，然后没有进一步解释，继续和朱莉玩他开始的捉迷藏游戏。

The first present is a stack of baby books, then there’s a few toys - “These had very good reviews from my nephews and I trust their opinion.” - and the last box contains a baby carrier.
第一个礼物是一堆婴儿书籍，然后是一些玩具——“这些在我侄子那里评价很好，我相信他们的意见。”——最后一个盒子里是一个婴儿背带。
“So you can take her to the paddock sometime,” Max says. He’s given up on peek-a-boo and is now entertaining Julie by building block towers and then letting her knock them down. “Better than lugging one of those unwieldy strollers around.”
“所以你可以有时间带她去牧场，”马克斯说。他已经放弃了捉迷藏，现在通过搭建积木塔来娱乐朱莉，然后让她把它们推倒。“比拖着那些笨重的婴儿车要好。”
“Oh,” Charles says, holding up the baby carrier. It’s a stylish but unassuming black color. “Hadn’t really thought about that, honestly.”
“哦，”查尔斯说，举起婴儿背带。它是一款时尚但低调的黑色。 “说实话，我之前并没有考虑到这一点。”
“You of course don’t have to bring her to the paddock,” Max says. “The carrier is great to have none the less. My sister swears by it.”
“当然，你不必把她带到围场，”马克斯说。“不过，运输箱还是很不错的。我的姐姐对此非常信赖。”
“No, I think I would like to bring her sometime,” Charles says, putting the carrier down and glancing at Julie, who claps delightfully as another block tower goes tumbling down. “I haven’t really had much time to think everything through, if I’m honest. I’m mostly just trying to keep us alive for now.”
“我想我会找个时间带她去，”查尔斯说着，把手提箱放下，瞥了一眼朱莉，看到她在另一座积木塔倒下时高兴地拍手。“说实话，我其实没有太多时间去考虑这些事情。我现在主要就是想让我们活下去。”
“You’re doing a good job so far,” Max says, watching fondly as Julie knocks down another tower with glee. “Have you thought about where she goes during race weekends already? You had her with you in Bahrain, but I figure that cannot always be the case right?” He’s turned around to look at Charles, and Julie makes a sad noise when she discovers there are no longer towers appearing for her to knock down.
“到目前为止，你做得很好，”马克斯一边说，一边满怀喜爱地看着朱莉高兴地推倒另一座塔。“你有没有想过在比赛周末她该去哪里？你在巴林带着她，但我想这不可能总是这样，对吧？”他转过身看向查尔斯，当朱莉发现不再有塔可以推倒时，发出了一声悲伤的声音。

Charles moves over to sit on the floor on Julie’s other side, and builds her another tower, which she immediately knocks down with an almost maniacal giggle. “She comes with me for most of the European races, some of the Middle Eastern ones. For the rest of the international races she stays with my mom. And then during the race weekends there’s a nanny that takes care of her when I’m actually racing, or doing press and stuff.”
查尔斯挪到朱莉的另一侧坐在地板上，给她搭建了另一座塔，她立刻用几乎疯狂的咯咯笑把它推倒了。“她大部分时间跟我一起参加欧洲的比赛，还有一些中东的比赛。其他国际比赛时，她会和我妈妈在一起。然后在比赛周末，会有一个保姆照顾她，当我在比赛或者做新闻发布会等事情的时候。”

Max hums. “Yeah, that makes sense.” He builds another tower and watches Julie topple it down.
马克哼着歌。“是啊，这很有道理。”他又搭了一个塔，看着朱莉把它推倒。

Charles glances at the clock above the wall, and jumps up. “All right, little Godzilla. Time for your afternoon nap,” he says, picking Julie off the floor and putting her on his hip. Julie babbles a little, waving her little fists around. “I’ll be right back,” he says to Max, “Just going to put her to bed.”
查尔斯瞥了一眼墙上的钟，立刻跳了起来。“好了，小哥斯拉。该你午睡的时间了，”他说着，把朱莉从地上抱起，放在他的臀部上。朱莉咿咿呀呀地说着，挥舞着她的小拳头。“我马上回来，”他对马克斯说，“只是去把她哄睡。”
“Yeah, sure,” Max says, “I’ll wait.”
“好的，当然，”马克斯说，“我会等。”
Charles disappears into Julie’s bedroom, and when he emerges again ten minutes later, it’s to find Max folding the stack of clothes that was lying abandoned on the couch. All of the stray toys have been put away, and for the first time in weeks, Charles can actually see the rug.
查尔斯消失在朱莉的卧室里，十分钟后他再次出现时，发现马克正在折叠那堆被遗弃在沙发上的衣物。所有的玩具都被收拾好了，几周以来第一次，查尔斯终于能看到地毯。
“Hey,” Max says, folding another tiny little t-shirt. “I figured I’d at least make myself useful.”
“嘿，”马克斯说，折叠着另一件小小的 T 恤。“我想我至少可以让自己有点用。”
“Right,” Charles says, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Right, yeah, thanks. Hey do you want something to drink? I’m grabbing some water.” And then he disappears to the kitchen before Max can even answer.
“好吧，”查尔斯说，感到脸颊发热。“好吧，是的，谢谢。嘿，你想喝点什么吗？我去拿点水。”然后他在麦克还没来得及回答之前就消失在厨房里。

The thing is, he knows he’s not really handling this whole baby thing well. He knows his apartment is a mess and his life is a mess and everything is a mess right now. And Max being here right now, being the perfect guest, showing up with perfect presents, asking him questions he doesn’t know the answer to, cleaning up, it almost feels like he’s rubbing it in.
问题是，他知道自己并没有很好地应对这个婴儿的事情。他知道自己的公寓一团糟，生活也一团糟，现在一切都很糟糕。而马克斯此刻在这里，作为完美的客人，带着完美的礼物出现，问他一些他不知道答案的问题，帮忙打理，这几乎让他觉得是在故意刺激他。

Max has always been better than Charles at everything. It’s annoying that he’s apparently better at this, too.
马克在所有事情上总是比查尔斯更出色。让人恼火的是，他显然在这方面也更胜一筹。

He takes a few deep breaths, tells himself he’s being stupid, that Max is just trying to help, and then makes his way back to the living room.
他深吸了几口气，告诉自己这样做很愚蠢，马克斯只是想帮忙，然后走回了客厅。

Max has finished folding the clothes, and gets up as Charles enters the room. “Hey, you seem like you might need some alone time, actually, so I’m going to go, but whenever you need me, just call yeah? Here,” he hands Charles a slip of paper with a number scribbled on. “I’m not kidding. Anything you need help with, I’m here for you. I remember how hard those first few months were for Victoria, and she was actually prepared to have a baby, so I can’t even imagine how you must feel.”
马克斯折好衣服，正要起身，查尔斯走进房间。“嘿，你看起来需要一些独处的时间，所以我就先走了，但只要你需要我，随时打电话就行，好吗？给你，”他递给查尔斯一张写着号码的纸条。“我不是开玩笑。无论你需要什么帮助，我都会在这里。我记得维多利亚头几个月是多么艰难，她其实是准备要孩子的，所以我根本无法想象你现在的感受。”

The worst part of it all that Max is so sincere about it. He genuinely just wants to help and all it does is make Charles’s blood boil. “Yeah, thanks,” he says, taking the phone number from Max’s hand, shoving it into his pocket. “And thanks for the presents. You seriously didn’t have to do that.”
最糟糕的是，马克斯对此是如此真诚。他真心只想帮忙，而这只让查尔斯怒火中烧。“是啊，谢谢，”他说着，从马克斯手中接过电话号码，塞进了口袋。“还有，谢谢你的礼物。你真的不必这么做。”

Max shrugs, almost a little bashfully. 'Julie’s a good kid. She deserves the best. Well, see you at the race, I guess."
马克耸了耸肩，几乎有些害羞。“朱莉是个好孩子。她值得拥有最好的。好吧，我想在比赛上见。”
“Yeah,” Charles says, following Max as he makes his way to the front door. “See you at the race.”
“好的，”查尔斯说，跟着麦克斯走向前门。“比赛见。”

When he closes the door behind Max and turns back to face his tidy living room, he’s suddenly hit by how less stressed the now completely uncluttered room makes him feel. He curses Max loudly once again, and then goes in the hunt of that glass of water he never actually got.
当他在麦克斯身后关上门，转身面对整洁的客厅时，他突然感受到这个完全没有杂物的房间让他感到的压力少了多少。他再次大声咒骂麦克斯，然后开始寻找那杯他从未真正喝到的水。

He swears to himself he’s never actually going to call Max. He doesn’t need his help. He’s fine on his own.
他发誓自己绝对不会打电话给马克斯。他不需要他的帮助。他一个人也很好。

But then Julie keeps crying, refusing to go down for her nap. And it’s not like it was last time, where she was just tired, there’s clearly something wrong now, but he can’t for the life of him figure out what it is. So he needs help.
但朱莉不停地哭，拒绝去睡午觉。这次和上次不一样，上次她只是累了，现在显然有什么不对劲，但他无论如何也搞不清楚是什么。所以他需要帮助。

His mom is not an option, because she’s at work, and so is Lorenzo. Arthur and Pierre, bless their hearts, neither really know much more about babies than Charles. So that really only leaves-
他的妈妈不在选择之中，因为她在工作，洛伦佐也是如此。亚瑟和皮埃尔，真是可怜，他们对婴儿的了解也不比查尔斯多。所以这真的只剩下——
“Max,” Charles says, the second Max picks up his phone. “Listen, you said I could call to ask for help.”
“马克斯，”查尔斯说，马克斯刚拿起手机。“听着，你说过我可以打电话求助。”
“I did,” Max says. “Everything okay? Something with Julie?” There’s an edge to his voice. Worry, maybe.
“我做了，”马克斯说。“一切还好吗？和朱莉有什么事吗？”他的声音中带着一丝紧张。也许是担心。
“Sort of? She keeps crying every time I put her down, even if I leave her to it for a bit, so I don’t think it was like last time, and I don’t know what to do? I mean, I’ve tried everything, and I just, I don’t know. I’m worried something is wrong.” He gnaws on his thumb as he glances back at Julie, who is currently in her crib, hiccupping miserably.
“有点吧？每次我把她放下，她就开始哭，即使我让她自己待一会儿，我觉得这和上次不一样，我也不知道该怎么办？我的意思是，我试过所有的方法，但我就是，不知道。我担心她有什么问题。”他咬着拇指，回头看向正在婴儿床里的朱莉，她正悲惨地打嗝。
“Yeah, sure, I’m on my way,” Max says, and Charles hears rummaging in the background. “Give me like fifteen minutes?” And then he hangs up.
“好的，当然，我马上就来，”马克斯说，查尔斯听到背景中有翻找的声音。“给我大约十五分钟？”然后他挂断了电话。

Charles stares at the phone for second, slightly thrown. He’d expected Max to maybe give him some words of advice, tell him to call a doctor. Hell, he’d half expected him to come back on his offer, say it was just him being polite. He’d never expected him to actually come over.
查尔斯盯着手机看了一秒，稍微有些愣住。他本以为马克会给他一些建议，告诉他去看医生。天哪，他甚至一半期待马克会收回他的提议，说这只是出于礼貌。他从未想过他真的会过来。

But then, exactly fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rings. “Hey,” Charles says, when the door swings open, “you’re here.” He’s still a little surprised, and it must sound, because Max rolls his eyes.
但是，正好十五分钟后，门铃响了。“嘿，”查尔斯说，当门打开时，“你来了。”他仍然有些惊讶，这一定听起来很明显，因为马克斯翻了个白眼。
“Told you I would come wouldn’t I?” Max says. “So, where is she?” He asks, as he follows Charles into the apartment.
“我告诉过你我会来的，不是吗？”马克斯说。“那么，她在哪里？”他问，跟着查尔斯走进公寓。
“Bedroom, I keep hoping she’ll just fall asleep like last time, but so far no luck.” Charles leads Max into Julie’s room. They’re immediately met by Julie’s unhappy gurgling.
“卧室，我一直希望她能像上次那样入睡，但到目前为止没有运气。”查尔斯带着马克斯走进朱莉的房间。他们立刻被朱莉不满的咕哝声迎接。
“Hey Julie,” Max says, leaning over the crib to come face to face with her. “What’s up, little bug?” He glances back at Charles, raising an eyebrow, as to ask permission to pick her up. Charles nods, and Max lifts her out of her crib, settling her on his hip. Julie hiccups miserably and shoves her hand into her mouth, nibbling on it sadly.
“嘿，朱莉，”马克说，俯身靠近婴儿床，与她面对面。“怎么了，小虫子？”他回头看了看查尔斯，扬起眉毛，似乎在询问是否可以抱她。查尔斯点了点头，马克将她从婴儿床里抱出来，安置在他的臀部上。朱莉痛苦地打了个嗝，把手塞进嘴里，悲伤地啃着。

Max hums. “Her cheeks are a little flushed, you checked for fever right?”
马克斯哼着歌。“她的脸颊有点红，你检查过她有没有发烧吧？”
“She’s a little high, but nothing over 38 degrees, so I shouldn’t be worried about that, right?” Charles asks, nervously gnawing at his thumb.
“她有点发烧，但没有超过 38 度，所以我不应该为此担心，对吧？”查尔斯紧张地咬着自己的拇指问道。
“No, but I think it means she’s teething,” Max says, bouncing Julie a little. She makes a few sad blubbering noises and continues nibbling on her hand. “The last time I visited my sister my nephew was going through the same thing. She might have some trouble sleeping for a few days, be a little cranky, but nothing too bad.”
“不是，但我觉得这意味着她在长牙，”马克斯说着，轻轻摇晃着朱莉。她发出几声悲伤的呜咽声，继续啃着自己的手。“上次我去看我姐姐时，我的侄子也经历过同样的事情。她可能会有几天睡不好，情绪有点烦躁，但没什么太严重的。”

Charles sighs in relief. “Oh, that’s. That’s good. Or, well. It’s good that it’s not like, anything bad. It must still suck, for her. I guess.”
查尔斯松了一口气。“哦，那就好。或者说，嗯。没什么坏事总是好的。对她来说，这一定还是很糟糕。我想。”

Max snorts. “Nicely worded. Hey, do you have any teething toys? Maybe it’ll help her sleep.”
马克斯哼了一声。“说得好。嘿，你有任何磨牙玩具吗？也许这能帮助她睡觉。”
Turns out Charles does have a teething toy, and it seems to help to soothe Julie’s ache at least a little. They leave her in her crib, hoping she might still catch some sleep, and then retreat back to the living room.
原来查尔斯确实有一个磨牙玩具，这似乎至少能稍微缓解朱莉的疼痛。他们把她留在婴儿床上，希望她还能再睡一会儿，然后退回到客厅。
“Fuck,” Charles says, falling down on the couch. “There’s just so many things you have to know and do and I feel like I’m just doing terrible at all of it.”
“该死，”查尔斯说，倒在沙发上。“有太多事情你必须知道和做，我感觉我在所有这些事情上都做得很糟糕。”

Max sits down next to him and shrugs. “You’re doing the best you can.”
马克斯坐在他旁边，耸了耸肩。“你已经尽力而为。”
Charles feels that same annoyance he felt last time, when he’d found Max folding Julie’s baby clothes, bubbling up to the surface again. “That’s easy for you to say, isn’t it? Mister ‘I’m perfect at fucking everything I do’?”
查尔斯感到那种上次的恼怒再次涌上心头，那次他发现马克斯在折朱莉的婴儿衣服。“你这么说可简单了，不是吗？完美无缺的‘我做的每件事都很完美’先生？”

Max frowns. “What do you mean?”
马克斯皱起眉头。“你是什么意思？”
“What do you think I mean?” Charles says, desperate to get under Max’s skin the way Max has consistently gotten under his these past few weeks. “Three time WDC winner and now guess what! He’s good with babies too!” It’s unfair, especially after Max came over here to help Charles, but Charles is tired and stressed and frustrated and it’s all pouring out of him in the worst way possible.
“你觉得我是什么意思？”查尔斯说，急切地想要像马克斯这几周一直对他做的那样，刺痛马克斯。“三次世界冠军得主，现在你猜怎么着！他对婴儿也很在行！”这太不公平了，尤其是在马克斯过来这里帮助查尔斯之后，但查尔斯感到疲惫、压力重重和沮丧，所有的情绪以最糟糕的方式倾泻而出。

Max squints at him. “Why do I have a feeling it’s less about me winning, or me being good with babies, and more with you not.” Charles simply glares at him, and Max sighs. “Listen, you’re a good driver, and I’m being dead serious when I say you absolutely could have won, you’ve just had some absolutely shit luck and, admittedly a few terrible team fuck ups. But you have to stop looking backward and start looking forward, otherwise all that overthinking is going to eat you alive. As for the baby thing; I have nephews, Charles. Baby nephews. So yeah, I’m good with babies because I’ve actually been around babies. A lot. Also Victoria talks about them all the time, so there’s that.”
马克眯起眼睛看着他。“我为什么有种感觉，这和我赢得比赛或者我对婴儿的照顾能力关系不大，更多的是因为你不行。”查尔斯只是瞪了他一眼，马克叹了口气。“听着，你是个好司机，我说的非常认真，你绝对有可能赢得比赛，只是运气实在太差，承认吧，还有几次团队的糟糕失误。但你必须停止向后看，开始向前看，否则所有的过度思考会把你吃活。”至于婴儿的事；我有侄子，查尔斯。婴儿侄子。所以是的，我对婴儿很在行，因为我实际上见过很多婴儿。而且维多利亚总是谈论他们，所以还有这一点。

Charles shifts in his seat, and Max deflates a little. “What I’m trying to say, with the resources you have, you’re doing fine, okay? Yeah, you don’t know everything there is to know about babies, but there’s people in your life that do. Maybe stop beating yourself up over not knowing everything all the time and start accepting help. That’s not a weakness. That’s not you being shit at something. You’re not losing when you have to lean on your support system every now and then. They don’t say ‘it takes a village’ for nothing.”
查尔斯在座位上微微调整，马克稍微泄气。“我想说的是，凭借你所拥有的资源，你做得很好，明白吗？是的，你对婴儿的所有知识并不完全了解，但你生活中有些人是懂的。也许该停止因为不懂所有事情而自责，开始接受帮助。这不是弱点。这并不是说你在某方面很糟糕。当你偶尔需要依靠你的支持系统时，你并没有失去。他们说‘养孩子需要一个村庄’可不是没有道理的。”
“Fuck,” Charles says, letting his head fall back against the pillows, covering his face in his hands. “Fuck, god damnit, stop being so sensible.” He pulls his hands away, and finds Max looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Jesus Christ, I’ve been a terrible host, haven’t I? I call you for help, and then when you do, I just yell at you, fucking hell.”
“该死，”查尔斯说着，头靠在枕头上，双手捂住脸。“该死，真见鬼，别这么理智。”他把手移开，发现马克斯用一种难以捉摸的表情看着他。“天哪，我真是个糟糕的主人，是不是？我叫你来帮忙，然后你来了，我却只是在对你大喊，真是见鬼。”
“It’s fine,” Max says, waving him off. “I get it, you must’ve been stressed as hell when Julie was so upset. Anyway, I should go, leave you to it. I have-”
“没事，”马克斯挥手示意他不必在意。“我明白了，当朱莉那么难过的时候，你一定压力很大。总之，我该走了，留你在这里。我还有——”
“Stay,” Charles blurts out. Max, who was halfway getting off the couch, freezes. “I mean, uh, I’m. Fuck, stay for lunch? Let me make it up to you. I uh. There’s salad?”
“留下，”查尔斯脱口而出。正准备起身的马克顿时僵住。“我是说，呃，我。该死，留下来吃午饭？让我补偿你。我呃。还有沙拉？”

Max looks at him, long and hard. “Sure. But only because there’s salad. I would’ve left you in a heartbeat if you’d served me pasta.” There’s a little twinkle in his eyes as he says it, a smile tugging at his lips.
马克斯认真地看着他，目光深邃而持久。“当然。但只是因为有沙拉。如果你给我上意大利面，我早就一秒钟都不想留你了。”他说这话时，眼中闪烁着一丝光芒，嘴角勾起一抹微笑。

Charles knows what this is. It’s an olive branch. A segway into easier topics, away from the not fight they just had. He grabs it with both hands. “What if it’s a pasta salad?”
查尔斯知道这是什么。这是一根橄榄枝。一个转向更轻松话题的切入点，远离他们刚刚经历的争吵。他双手抓住它。“如果这是意大利面沙拉呢？”

Max considers it. “Thin ice, but I’ll allow it.” He says, and Charles feels the last of the tension drain from the room.
马克思考虑了一下。“薄冰，但我会允许。”他说，查尔斯感到房间里的最后一丝紧张感消散了。
“Oh, this is good,” Max says, digging his fork back into his bowl and taking another big bite. “Please tell me whoever preps your food is willing to take on more clients.”
“哦，这真好，”马克斯说着，叉子又插回碗里，咬了一大口。“请告诉我，准备你们食物的人愿意接更多的客户。”

Charles, who’s in the process of hunting down a crouton in his own bowl of salad, barely glances up. “Hm? Oh, no, I make these myself. Meal prep them on Monday and then I just eat them throughout the week,” he says absentmindedly, as he finally manages to get the crouton on his fork with a triumphant ‘ha!’.
查尔斯正在自己沙拉碗里寻找一个面包丁，几乎没有抬头。“嗯？哦，不，这些是我自己做的。我在星期一准备好，然后整个星期就吃这些，”他说着，心不在焉，终于用叉子成功夹到面包丁，得意地喊了一声“哈！”

Max raises an eyebrow. “Well, if you ever consider a career change, hit me up.”
马克斯扬起一眉。“好吧，如果你考虑换个职业，找我就行。”
Charles snorts. The crouton drops back off his fork in the process. “Can you imagine the press on that? ‘Charles Leclerc quits F1 to become Max Verstappen’s full time personal chef’. People would go nuts.”
查尔斯哼了一声。过程中，面包丁从他的叉子上掉了下来。“你能想象那样的新闻吗？‘查尔斯·勒克莱尔辞去 F1 职务，成为马克斯·维斯塔潘的全职私人厨师’。人们会疯掉的。”
“Well, I for one think you would look dashing in a little apron and chef’s hat,” Max says, mischievous glint in his eyes.
“好吧，我觉得你穿上小围裙和厨师帽一定会显得很帅，”马克斯说，眼中闪烁着顽皮的光芒。
“Oh, fuck off,” Charles says, but there’s not much heat behind it. He finally manages to successfully get the crouton in his mouth and chews thoughtfully. “So, I’ve been thinking, about what you said last time, and uh. I’m planning on bringing Julie to the paddock, next race.”
“哦，去你的，”查尔斯说，但语气并没有太大火气。他终于成功地把面包丁放进嘴里，若有所思地咀嚼着。“所以，我在想，上次你说的那些，呃。我打算下次比赛带朱莉去马场。”

Max perks up. “Really? Oh, awesome. Let me know when she’s there, yeah? I’ll come say hello.”
马克斯精神一振。“真的吗？太棒了。等她到了告诉我，好吗？我会去打个招呼。”

Charles stabs at a cherry tomato. “Probably Friday, seems like the best day for her, not too much excitement yet.”
查尔斯戳了一下樱桃番茄。“可能是星期五，似乎是她最好的日子，没什么太多的兴奋。”

Max hums, chewing on another big bite. When he swallows, he says, “Please don’t let Ferrari dress her up in like some godawful baby sized Ferrari race suit though.” He pulls a face, and Charles snorts.
马克斯哼着歌，咬了一大口。当他吞下去时，说：“请不要让法拉利把她打扮成那种可怕的婴儿尺寸法拉利赛车服。”他做了个鬼脸，查尔斯 snorted。
“What, you’d rather I put her in a Red Bull one?” Before Max can respond, eyes bright and excited, Charles adds, “They did get me a Ferrari themed stroller, actually.”
“什么，你宁愿我给她买个红牛的推车？”在马克斯还没来得及回应之前，查尔斯眼睛闪亮，兴奋地补充道：“其实他们给我买了一个法拉利主题的婴儿车。”
“They did not,” Max says incredulously, staring at Charles.
“他们没有，”马克 incredulously 地说，盯着查尔斯。
Charles nods, hunting down another cherry tomato. “They did. It’s in the hallway.”
查尔斯点头，继续寻找另一个樱桃番茄。“他们找到了。就在走廊里。”
“That’s ridiculous,” Max says, shaking his head. He’s seems to have finished most of his salad, and is now scraping the last remnants of it out of his bowl. “Well, it could’ve been
“这太荒谬了，”马克斯摇着头说。他似乎已经吃完了大部分沙拉，现在正在碗里刮出最后的残渣。“好吧，这本来可以是……”
worse. They could have gotten you a Ferrari car seat. Really lean into the whole future driver thing.”
更糟的是。他们本可以给你买一个法拉利的儿童座椅。真的可以好好利用未来司机的这个概念。

Charles hums noncommittally. Pokes at his salad. Pointedly does not look at Max. “Oh fucking hell,” Max says, “Really? Please don’t tell me you actually use it.”
查尔斯漫不经心地哼着，戳了戳他的沙拉，故意不看马克。“哦，真是见鬼，”马克说，“真的？请不要告诉我你真的在用它。”
“Well, it’s not like I have had time to buy her a different car seat, so.” Charles shrugs.
“好吧，我也没时间给她买个不同的安全座椅。”查尔斯耸耸肩。
Max puts his fork down. 'No, that’s unacceptable. God, I can’t believe I got you a baby carrier when you’ve just been out there transporting your baby in a Ferrari car seat this whole time."
马克斯放下了他的叉子。“不，这太不可接受了。天哪，我真不敢相信我给你买了一个婴儿背带，而你这段时间一直在用法拉利的汽车座椅运送你的宝宝。”
“It’s a perfectly good car seat, even though the branding is a bit… much,” Charles says, shrugging, smile tugging at his lips.
“这是一款非常好的汽车座椅，尽管品牌有点……过于张扬，”查尔斯说，耸耸肩，嘴角露出微笑。

Max looks like he’s going to protest, but Julie choses that exact moment to wake up, a soft little cry echoing through the baby monitor. Charles goes to get up, putting his fork down, but Max beats him to it. “No, I’ll go. You finish your salad. I’m already done, so,” he gestures at his own empty bowl.
马克斯看起来要抗议，但朱莉恰好在这个时候醒来，婴儿监视器里传来一声轻柔的哭声。查尔斯准备起身，放下了叉子，但马克斯比他更快。“不，我去。你继续吃你的沙拉。我已经吃完了，”他指了指自己空空的碗。

Charles considers arguing him about it, but then he remembers what Max had said, earlier, about learning to accept help, and he nods as he sits back down. He pokes at the last remains of his salad, as he listens to Max’s voice coming through the baby monitor, asking Julie if she had a nice sleep and whispering nonsense to her.
查尔斯考虑是否要和他争论这件事，但他想起了马克斯之前说过的关于学会接受帮助的话，于是他点了点头，坐回了椅子上。他戳了戳盘子里最后的沙拉残渣，听着婴儿监视器里传来的马克斯的声音，问朱莉睡得好吗，并对她低声说着一些无意义的话。

He has to admit, it is kind of nice to be able to finish his salad in peace, and by the time he’s done, Max appears back into the kitchen, with a sleep rumpled Julie perched on his hip.
他不得不承认，能够安静地吃完沙拉其实挺不错的，当他吃完时，马克斯带着一个睡眼惺忪的朱莉出现在厨房里，朱莉坐在他的胯上。
“Hi sweetheart,” Charles says, wiggling his fingers in her direction. Julie babbles happily, waving her little fists around. “Can you put her on the play mat in the living room and stay with her for a bit so I can put away the dishes?” He asks, turning to Max.
“嗨，亲爱的，”查尔斯说，朝她的方向摇动手指。朱莉高兴地咿呀学语，挥舞着小拳头。“你能把她放在客厅的游戏垫上，陪着她一会儿吗？这样我就可以收拾碗碟了。”他转向马克问道。

Max nods, and turns to Julie. “You wanna go knock down some more towers?” He asks.
马克斯点头，转向朱莉。“你想去再推倒一些塔吗？”他问。
“Ba!” Julie says. “巴！”朱莉说。
Max snorts “I’ll take that as a yes.” He disappears into the living room, as Charles collects their dirty bowls and cutlery. As he starts rinsing the dishes, he can hear the sounds of Max’s soft voice and Julie loud laughter filtering in from the living room.
马克哼了一声：“我就当这是个肯定的回答。”他消失在客厅里，查尔斯则收拾他们的脏碗碟和餐具。当他开始冲洗碗碟时，能听到马克柔和的声音和朱莉的响亮笑声从客厅传来。

Annoyingly enough, he thinks he could get used to this.
烦人的是，他觉得自己可能会习惯这种情况。

Taking Julie to the paddock with him goes as well as expected. Charles has her strapped in the baby carrier, facing out so she can actually see what’s going on, and he’s not even on the premise for five minutes before he’s already surrounded by drivers and personnel wanting to great her.
带着朱莉去牧场的事情进展得如他所预期的那样顺利。查尔斯把她绑在婴儿背带里，面朝外，这样她就能看到周围发生的事情。他刚到场不到五分钟，就已经被想要向她打招呼的司机和工作人员围住了。
“Oh, hello,” Lando says, leaning down a little so he’s face to face with Julie. “Aren’t you the cutest little baby? Yes, yes you are. And I’m totally going to steal you the second your father gets into a car.”
“哦，你好，”兰多说，稍微俯身与朱莉面对面。“你不是最可爱的小宝宝吗？是的，是的，你就是。而且我绝对会在你爸爸上车的那一刻就把你偷走。”
“I don’t think he’s joking, you know,” Daniel says, from where he’s leaning against a wall next to Charles. “Might have to actually get her a security guard.”
“我觉得他不是在开玩笑，你知道吗，”丹尼尔说，他靠在查尔斯旁边的墙上。“可能真的得给她找个保安。”
“Can she stand yet?” A Ferrari employee on Charles’s other side asks. “My son could stand at this age already. He’d still have to hold on to something, of course, but he could pull himself up easily.”
“她现在能站起来吗？”查尔斯另一侧的一名法拉利员工问。“我儿子在这个年龄就能站起来了。当然，他还是得抓着什么，但他可以轻松地自己站起来。”
“More importantly, can she talk?” Lando asks, pointing at himself and saying, ‘Lando’ loudly at Julie, who babbles a little and waves a fist at him.
“更重要的是，她会说话吗？”兰多问，指着自己大声对朱莉说：“兰多”，朱莉嘟囔了一会儿，挥舞着拳头朝他。
“She’s seven months, Lando, what do you think,” Daniel says, with an eye roll.
“她已经七个月了，兰多，你觉得怎么样？”丹尼尔翻了个白眼说。
Lando straightens himself to glare at Daniel. “Well I don’t fucking know, do I?”
兰多挺直身子瞪着丹尼尔。“我他妈的怎么知道？”
“Don’t swear in front of the baby, oh my god-” Charles drowns the rest of the squabbling out as the Ferrari employee next to him keeps asking him all kinds of developmental questions he doesn’t have the answers to.
“不要在宝宝面前骂脏话，天哪——”查尔斯把剩下的争吵声淹没在耳边，因为旁边的法拉利员工不停地问他各种他无法回答的发展问题。

When he came here, he was scared the whole experience would be a little too overwhelming for Julie. Now he’s starting to realize it actually might be a little too overwhelming for him.
当他来到这里时，他担心整个经历对朱莉来说会有些过于压倒性。现在他开始意识到，这实际上可能对他自己来说也有些过于压倒性。
“Hey little bug,” a voice says, somewhere in front of him, and when he zones back in, Max is there. Julie babbles happily at him and grabs his finger, waving it around and laughing loudly as Max pulls faces at her. “Are you enjoying your trip outside?”
“嘿，小虫子，”一个声音在他面前说道，当他回过神来时，马克斯就在那儿。朱莉高兴地喋喋不休，抓住他的手指，挥舞着，笑得很大声，马克斯则对她做鬼脸。“你喜欢外面的旅行吗？”
“A-ga,” Julie states resolutely, and Max nods seriously at her.
“阿嘎，”朱莉坚定地说，马克斯认真地点了点头。
“I see, I see,” he says. “And have you told your dad that yet?” Charles can’t help but feel the corners of his mouth turn up. Max makes eye contact with him over Julie’s head and sends him a quick smile.
“我明白了，我明白了，”他说。“你告诉你爸爸了吗？”查尔斯忍不住嘴角上扬。马克在朱莉的头顶上与他对视，给了他一个快速的微笑。
“Can I come back to you?” Charles asks the Ferrari employee, who nods a little dejectedly but walks off, and Charles turns back to Max. “Hi.”
“我可以再来找你吗？”查尔斯问那位法拉利员工，员工有些沮丧地点了点头，然后走开了，查尔斯转身回到马克斯身边。“嗨。”
“Hey,” Max says, leaning against the same wall Daniel was leaning against earlier. When Charles glances behind Max, he can see Daniel having Lando in a headlock. They’re both yelling loudly at each other. “How’s it going?”
“嘿，”马克斯说，靠在丹尼尔之前靠着的那面墙上。当查尔斯向马克斯身后看时，他看到丹尼尔正把兰多锁在头锁里。他们两个都在大声吼叫。“怎么样？”
“Well, as you can see Dan and Lando are currently fighting over her and I’ve gotten a million and one question I don’t have the answer to, so I guess you could say as well as expected.” Charles says with a shrug, tired smile tugging at his lips.
“好吧，正如你所看到的，丹和兰多正在为她争吵，而我有一千零一个问题却没有答案，所以我想你可以说这也是意料之中的。”查尔斯耸耸肩，嘴角挂着疲惫的微笑。

Max looks at him, long and hard, and then hums. “Do you reckon it’s maybe time for her nap?”
马克斯仔细地看着他，思考良久，然后哼了一声。“你觉得她是不是该午睡了？”

Charles glances at his watch. It’s far from time for her nap. But he thinks Max knows this, and he thinks Max is trying to offer him an out. “You know what, I think it is.”
查尔斯瞥了一眼手表。离她的小睡时间还远。但他觉得马克斯知道这一点，他认为马克斯是在试图给他一个借口。“你知道吗，我觉得是时候了。”

Max nods, pushes himself off the wall. “Come on, I’ll walk you,” he says, weaving his way through the people in the paddock, Charles hot on his heel. Lots of people wave at him, and Charles waves back, but the pace Max is keeping doesn’t allow them be stopped by anyone. Charles is kind of grateful.
马克点点头，推开墙壁。“来吧，我陪你走，”他说着，穿过围场中的人群，查尔斯紧跟在后。很多人向他挥手，查尔斯也挥手回应，但马克的步伐让他们无法被任何人拦住。查尔斯对此有些感激。

He’s already standing in the middle of his hotel room before he realizes Max has followed him all the way inside. Max seems to realize it at that exact moment, too.
他已经站在酒店房间的中央，这时才意识到马克斯已经跟随他走了进来。马克斯似乎也在那一刻意识到了这一点。
“Uh,” he says, making an aborted little arm motion. “Right. Well, there you are. Have a good nap. Julie, I mean. I’ll uh. Walk myself out.”
“呃，”他说，做了一个中断的小手势。“对了。好吧，你在这里。祝你午睡愉快。朱莉，我是说。我会自己出去。”
“Sure,” Charles says, sitting down on the couch in the middle of the hotel room. “Or, you can help Julie and me out of this baby carrier, and then I’ll order us room service while you pick a godawful movie on Netflix to watch.”
“当然，”查尔斯说着，坐在酒店房间中央的沙发上。“或者，你可以帮朱莉和我从这个婴儿背带里出来，然后我会给我们点客房服务，而你去挑一部糟糕透顶的 Netflix 电影来看。”
“No salad this time?” Max asks. He sounds genuinely disappointed as he makes his way over to the couch and carefully lifts Julie out of the carrier.
“这次没有沙拉吗？”马克斯问道。他的语气中透着真诚的失望，走到沙发旁，小心翼翼地把朱莉从包里抱了出来。

Charles snorts. “I don’t actually carry those all over the world with me, believe it or not. I think I would get in trouble at customs if I showed up with a suitcase full of salad.”
查尔斯哼了一声。“你信不信，我其实并不会把那些东西带到世界各地。我想如果我带着一个装满沙拉的行李箱出现在海关，肯定会惹麻烦。”
“See, I know you mean containers of salad,” Max says, gently placing Julie on the playmat that Charles put out in front of the couch earlier that day. “But the mental image of someone opening your suitcase and finding nothing but lettuce and veggies is very funny to me.”
“你看，我知道你指的是沙拉的容器，”马克斯说，轻轻把朱莉放在查尔斯今天早些时候放在沙发前的游戏垫上。“但是想象有人打开你的行李箱，发现里面只有生菜和蔬菜，这让我觉得非常好笑。”

Charles laughs as Max walks back over to the couch, and gently takes the clasp Charles was struggling with out of his hands, opening it easily and releasing him from the carrier. “Thanks,” Charles says, trying to ignore the feeling of Max’s fingers brushing against his side. He quickly gets up, putting distance between them, digging the room service menu out of a drawer. “They have some kind of curry thing, you up for that?”
查尔斯笑着看着马克走回沙发，轻轻地从他手中接过查尔斯正在挣扎的扣子，轻松地打开它，将他从载体中释放出来。“谢谢，”查尔斯说，试图忽视马克的手指轻轻划过他侧面的感觉。他迅速站起身，拉开距离，从抽屉里拿出房间服务菜单。“他们有某种咖喱，你想试试吗？”

Max hums an affirmative, and Charles goes to locate the phone while Max falls down on the floor next to Julie, trying to get her to sort the star shaped block into the right slot on the container in front of her.
马克轻声哼了一声表示同意，查尔斯去找电话，而马克则倒在朱莉旁边的地板上，试图让她把星形积木放进面前容器的正确槽位里。

Half an hour later, Max and Charles are curled up on the couch with a bowl of curry each, while Julie is in her activity chair, aggressively hitting a plastic bumblebee against the side of it as she giggles happily. The Witcher is playing on the screen but Charles is only half paying attention to it, tucking into his bowl of food and listening to Max talk about last week’s race.
半小时后，马克斯和查尔斯蜷缩在沙发上，各自手里拿着一碗咖喱，而朱莉则坐在她的活动椅上，开心地咯咯笑着，猛烈地用一个塑料大黄蜂敲打椅子的一侧。屏幕上正在播放《巫师》，但查尔斯只是一半在关注，专心吃着碗里的食物，听着马克斯讲述上周的比赛。

There’s a sense of peace he hasn’t really felt in a while, and that’s hard to explain. He’s sat plenty of couches like this, with his food while Julie was off playing in the corner, but it feels different, right now. He guesses Max being there should feel more stressful, having what is practically a stranger in his safe space, but instead it makes him feel more relaxed. Less alone.
他感到一种已经很久没有体验过的平静，这种感觉难以言喻。他曾在这样的沙发上坐过很多次，吃着食物，而朱莉则在角落里玩耍，但此刻的感觉却有所不同。他想，马克斯在这里应该让他感到更紧张，毕竟在自己的安全空间里有一个几乎是陌生的人，但相反，这让他感到更加放松。少了一些孤独。

Julie yawns, and bangs her bumblebee against the side a little more aggressively, and Charles startles, glancing at the clock. “Oh, shit,” he says, pushing himself off the couch and dropping his near empty bowl on the coffee table. “She should’ve been in bed like half an hour ago.”
朱莉打了个哈欠，更加用力地把她的蜜蜂玩具撞向一旁，查尔斯吓了一跳，瞥了一眼钟表。“哦，糟糕，”他说，推开沙发，随手把快空的碗扔在咖啡桌上。“她半小时前就该上床了。”
“I’ll help you,” Max says, getting up as well. He picks up Julie while Charles hunts down her sleeping bag, and then before he knows it, Julie is all tucked up in her crib, and it’s just him and Max. “Thank you, for today,” Charles says, smiling softly at Max. “I needed this.”
“我会帮你，”马克斯说着，也站了起来。他抱起朱莉，而查尔斯则去找她的睡袋，然后在他意识到之前，朱莉已经被安顿好，躺在她的婴儿床里，只剩下他和马克斯。“谢谢你，今天，”查尔斯微笑着对马克斯说。“我需要这个。”

Max hums. “No problem. Plus, I shouldn’t be complaining, I got a free curry out of it.”
马克斯哼着歌。“没问题。而且，我不应该抱怨，我得到了一个免费的咖喱。”
Charles snorts, rolls his eyes. “Says the multi-millionaire.”
查尔斯哼了一声，翻了个白眼。“这话是由那个千万富翁说的。”
Max pulls a face at him, and stretches out. “Listen, I should go, early morning and all that. But I’ll see you tomorrow.”
马克对他做了个鬼脸，伸了个懒腰。“听着，我该走了，明天一早还有事情。不过我明天见。”
“Yeah,” Charles says, flopping down on the couch. “See you tomorrow.”
“好吧，”查尔斯说着，扑通一声坐在沙发上。“明天见。”

A week later, Charles is in his apartment in Monaco, trying to locate his left shoe, when the doorbell rings. “Come in, door’s unlocked!” He yells, as he rummages through the hallway cupboard. He figures it’s his mom, or maybe Pierre, but when he looks up, Max is suddenly standing in his hallway.
一周后，查尔斯在摩纳哥的公寓里，试图找到他的左鞋子，这时门铃响了。“进来，门没锁！”他一边大喊，一边在走廊的橱柜里翻找。他想这可能是他妈妈，或者是皮埃尔，但当他抬起头时，马克突然站在他的走廊里。
“Uh,” Max says, doorknob still in hand, glancing at where Charles is practically buried in his cupboard. “Is this bad timing? I can come back?”
“呃，”马克斯说，手里还握着门把手，瞥了一眼查尔斯几乎被埋在橱柜里的样子。“这是个不好的时机吗？我可以回去吗？”
“No, fuck,” Charles swears, as he bangs his head against the top of the cabinet in his haste to look at Max. “No, you’re fine. I was just trying to find my shoe.”
“不是，见鬼，”查尔斯咒骂着，急忙把头撞上柜子的顶部，想要看向马克斯。“不，你没事。我只是想找我的鞋子。”

Max hums, glancing around. “This one?” He says, leaning down and reappearing with Charles left shoe. “It was tucked behind your shoe rack.”
马克轻声哼着，四处张望。“这个？”他说着，弯下腰，重新出现时手里拿着查尔斯的左鞋。“它被藏在你的鞋架后面。”
“Of course it was,” Charles says, sighing deeply, and taking the shoe from Max. “Listen, I would apologize for the mess, but I’m pretty sure you’ve gotten used to it by now,” he says, tugging on his shoe and walking into the living room, Max trailing behind him. “So, what do you want?”
“当然是，”查尔斯深深叹了口气，从马克斯手中接过鞋子。“听着，我本来想为这个混乱道歉，但我敢肯定你现在已经习惯了，”他说着，拉了拉自己的鞋子，走进了客厅，马克斯跟在他身后。“那么，你想要什么？”

Max shrugs. “Just wanted to see how you were doing. Hi Julie,” he says, wiggling his hand at Julie, who is sitting in her play chair again.
马克耸了耸肩。“只是想看看你怎么样。嗨，朱莉，”他说着，朝坐在她玩具椅上的朱莉挥了挥手。
“Ba!” Julie says cheerfully.
“巴！”朱莉愉快地说。
“I’m good,” Charles says, disappearing into Julie’s bedroom to grab her a pair of shoes and a coat. “Was just about to do groceries, actually.”
“我很好，”查尔斯说着，消失在朱莉的卧室里去给她拿一双鞋子和一件外套。“其实我正准备去买菜。”
“Oh,” Max says, and he almost sounds disappointed. Charles glances at him, standing in the middle of his living room, sort of awkwardly shifting from left to right. “Right. I will uh, leave you to it, then.” He waves at Julie again, and turns to leave.
“哦，”马克斯说，他听起来有些失望。查尔斯瞥了他一眼，站在客厅中央，有些尴尬地左右摇摆。“好吧。我就，呃，留你们在这里了。”他又向朱莉挥了挥手，然后转身离开。
“You can come?” Charles blurts out, making Max stop in his tracks and turn back around. “I mean, uh, if you want? It’s really not that much fun, if I’m honest, but I’m all out of food and Julie can use the outing, she shouldn’t be spending too much time indoors, so.”
“你可以来吗？”查尔斯脱口而出，让马克停下脚步转过身来。“我的意思是，呃，如果你想的话？说实话，这真的没什么好玩的，但我已经没有食物了，朱莉可以利用这个机会出去走走，她不应该待在室内太久，所以。”
“Yeah, sure,” Max says, face brightening considerably. “I’ll come.” He pauses, frowning a little, before adding. “But we’re not taking the Ferrari stroller. I refuse to be seen with that thing.”
“好吧，当然可以，”马克斯说，脸上露出了明显的笑容。“我会去的。”他停顿了一下，微微皱眉，然后补充道：“但我们不带法拉利婴儿车。我拒绝和那个东西一起出现。”
“Well, tough luck, because it’s the only stroller I have,” Charles says, lifting Julie out of her chair. “Come on, Julie bug, we’re going on an adventure.” Julie babbles at him and fusses only a little bit as Charles puts on her coat. “Unless you want to take the carrier, but then you have to hold her, because I tried doing groceries with her in it once and she kept grabbing stuff, it was a nightmare.”
“好吧，运气不好，因为这是我唯一的婴儿车，”查尔斯说着，把朱莉从椅子上抱起来。“来吧，朱莉小虫，我们要去冒险。”朱莉对他咿咿呀呀地说，只有一点点不满，查尔斯给她穿上外套。“除非你想用背带，但那样你得抱着她，因为我曾经试过带着她去买菜，她一直抓东西，真是个噩梦。”

He says it as a joke, doesn’t actually expect Max to take the offer, but suddenly Max is nodding, and then before he knows it Max has Julie strapped to his chest and they’re standing in the supermarket.
他说这话是开玩笑的，并不真的指望马克斯会接受这个提议，但突然间马克斯点了点头，然后在他意识到之前，马克斯已经把朱莉绑在了他的胸前，他们正站在超市里。
“Right,” Charles says, trying not to get too distracted by the absolutely adorable sight of Max pointing out things to Julie as she babbles happily at him, snugly secured in the carrier. “Cauliflower, we need cauliflower.” He pushes his shopping cart forward and scans the vegetable isles, as Max trails after him, continuing to talk quietly to Julie.
“对，”查尔斯说，努力不被麦克斯指着东西对朱莉喋喋不休的可爱场景分心，朱莉在背带里舒适地被固定着。“我们需要花椰菜。”他推着购物车向前，扫视着蔬菜区，麦克斯在他身后跟着，继续低声和朱莉说话。
“See, those are banana’s, you like those, remember? I know, because you rubbed them all into your dad’s shirt the other day and he complained about it for hours.”
“看，那些是香蕉，你喜欢这些，记得吗？我知道，因为你前几天把它们都擦在你爸爸的衬衫上，他抱怨了好几个小时。”
"I had press, " Charles says, frowning at him. “And no one had a spare shirt, so I spent the whole morning doing interviews in a banana shirt.”
“我有新闻采访，”查尔斯皱着眉头对他说。“而且没有人有备用衬衫，所以我整个上午都穿着一件香蕉衬衫接受采访。”

Max ignores him, though there’s a smile tugging at his lips, as he continues pointing stuff out to Julie. “And those are brussels sprouts. They are evil and we will avoid them at all cost.”
马克斯无视他，尽管嘴角挂着微笑，他继续向朱莉指出一些东西。“那是球芽甘蓝。它们是邪恶的，我们会不惜一切代价避免它们。”
“Please stop talking my daughter out of eating her vegetables before she even gets to solid food,” Charles says, rolling his eyes.
“请不要在我女儿还没开始吃固体食物之前就劝她不吃蔬菜，”查尔斯说，翻了个白眼。
“Should’ve thought of that before you strapped your baby to my chest,” Max says gleefully, but he stops pointing things out, instead opting for entertaining Julie by pulling faces at her. Julie’s delightful laughter follows Charles as he makes his way towards the cauliflowers, shaking his head fondly.
“你应该在把宝宝绑在我胸前之前就想到这一点，”马克斯高兴地说，但他不再指出事情，而是选择通过做鬼脸来逗乐朱莉。朱莉的欢快笑声伴随着查尔斯，他朝着花椰菜走去，满脸宠溺地摇着头。

He’s not an idiot. He knows there’s a part of him that has been at least a little bit in love with Max for as long as they’ve known each other. But he’s always been able to shove it down. Burying it under rivalries and competitiveness until it was getting hard to differentiate between love and hate. And that had worked, for a really long time.
他并不是个傻瓜。他知道自己心中至少有一部分对马克斯一直以来都有一点爱慕之情，尽管他们相识已久。但他总是能够将这种情感压抑下去。把它埋在竞争和对抗之下，直到很难分清爱与恨。而这在很长一段时间内都奏效。

And then Max had to go and barge into his life and be really fucking cute with his baby.
然后马克斯不得不闯入他的生活，和他的宝宝真的可爱得让人受不了。
“I’m sorry if this is inappropriate,” a voice behind him says. Charles whips around, suddenly shaken from his thoughts, to find an elderly lady standing next to him, smiling gently at him.
“如果这不合适，我很抱歉，”他身后传来一个声音。查尔斯猛地转过身，突然从思绪中惊醒，发现一位老年女士站在他旁边，温柔地对他微笑。
“But I have to say, you and your husband and your daughter, you make a very cute family.”
“但我得说，你和你的丈夫还有你的女儿，你们真是一个非常可爱的家庭。”
“Oh,” Charles says, a little baffled. He hadn’t even considered what this little shopping trip must look like, to others. To people who don’t know who they are. And maybe to people who do know who they are as well. “Uh…”
“哦，”查尔斯说，显得有些困惑。他甚至没有考虑过这次小购物之旅在别人眼中会是什么样子。对那些不知道他们是谁的人来说。也许对那些知道他们是谁的人来说也是如此。“呃……”
“I remember when I was your age, my husband was never that involved,” the elderly woman continues before he can correct her. She seems a little lost in memory, smiling sadly. “You are very lucky to have someone so involved.”
“我记得在我这个年纪的时候，我的丈夫从来没有那么参与，”老妇人继续说道，在他能纠正她之前。她似乎有些迷失在回忆中，微微带着悲伤的笑容。“你真幸运，有这样一个如此关心你的人。”
“Thank you,” Charles says, because he truly doesn’t know what else to say. How does he explain to this woman that the man who currently has his baby strapped to his chest is just his coworker and there’s nothing going on between the two of them? Even though Charles knows the truth, even he can admit it does look… well. Like they’re together, maybe.
“谢谢你，”查尔斯说，因为他真的不知道还可以说些什么。他怎么向这个女人解释，那个现在把他的宝宝绑在胸前的男人只是他的同事，他们之间并没有任何关系？尽管查尔斯知道真相，甚至他自己也承认，这看起来……嗯。就像他们在一起，也许。

And the worst thing is, he doesn’t mind the idea so much anymore. Years ago, when he convinced himself having a tiny little crush on Max Verstappen was the worst thing that ever happened to him, he would have balked at the idea. Now, now he knows how kind Max can be, how considerate, how dorky, even, it ties his stomach in knots a little bit.
最糟糕的是，他现在对这个想法并不那么介意了。多年前，当他说服自己对马克斯·维斯塔潘有一点小迷恋是他经历过的最糟糕的事情时，他会对这个想法感到反感。现在，他知道马克斯是多么善良，多么体贴，甚至有些傻乎乎的，这让他的心里有些紧张。

Thankfully, Max chooses that exact moment to reappear beside him again, holding a plastic bag filled with pears. “Julie kept pointing at these so I figured she must like them? And I am weak to her charms, so. Pears.” He waves the bag around, a questioning look on his face, and Charles laughs.
谢天谢地，马克在这个时候再次出现在他身边，手里提着一个装满梨子的塑料袋。“朱莉一直指着这些，我想她一定喜欢吧？而我对她的魅力无可抵挡，所以，就买了梨。”他挥舞着袋子，脸上露出疑惑的表情，查尔斯笑了。
“She does like those. Sure, put them in.” Max smiles, mutters something to Julie, and puts the pears in the shopping cart.
“她确实喜欢那些。好的，放进去。”马克斯微笑着，低声对朱莉说了些什么，然后把梨放进购物车里。
“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then,” the elderly lady says, smiling so fondly at Charles it kind of makes his chest hurt. “You have a good day.”
“那么，我就不打扰你了，”那位老妇人微笑着对查尔斯说，眼神中流露出深情，让他的心有些疼。“祝你今天愉快。”
“You too, ma’am,” Charles says, and watches as she saunters off in the direction of the canned goods.
“您也是，女士，”查尔斯说着，目送她朝罐头食品的方向走去。

What did she want?" Max asks, as Charles turns back to the cauliflowers.
“她想要什么？”马克斯问，查尔斯转身回到花椰菜旁。
“Oh,” Charles says. Thinks about telling the truth. Thinks about Max’s possible reaction. Thinks about his own confusing thoughts. Decides against it. “Nothing. Hey, which one do you think looks better?” He asks, grabbing two cauliflowers at random and holding them up to Max, desperate all of a sudden to change the topic.
“哦，”查尔斯说。他考虑着要不要说出真相。想到了马克斯可能的反应。又想到了自己混乱的思绪。最终决定不说。“没什么。嘿，你觉得哪一个看起来更好？”他问，随意抓起两个花椰菜，举到马克斯面前，突然渴望改变话题。
“Left,” Max says. Julie babbles. “She agrees with me,” he says, and Charles snorts, putting the cauliflower in the shopping basket.
“左边，”马克斯说。朱莉喋喋不休。“她同意我，”他说，查尔斯哼了一声，把花椰菜放进购物篮里。
“All right, I just need pasta, and something for dinner,” Charles says, glancing at the shopping list on his phone. “I was thinking this noodle dish with ground beef, if you’re up for that?” Charles asks, almost a little absentmindedly. When Max stays quiet, Charles looks up. Rethinks what he just said. Blushes. “I mean, if you want to, uh. Stay. For dinner. That is.”
“好吧，我只需要意大利面，还有晚餐的东西，”查尔斯说，瞥了一眼手机上的购物清单。“我在想这道牛肉面，如果你愿意的话？”查尔斯几乎有些心不在焉地问。当马克保持沉默时，查尔斯抬起头。重新思考他刚才说的话。脸红了。“我的意思是，如果你想，呃。留下来。吃晚餐。就是这个意思。”

Max is looking at him almost calculatingly, and then he nods. “Sure, yeah. I can do dinner.”
马克斯几乎带着计算的目光看着他，然后点了点头。“当然，可以。我可以做晚餐。”

It’s late, when they do finally get back to Charles’s apartment, so Charles ends up feeding Julie and putting her to bed for the night first, before he wanders back into the kitchen, where Max is sitting at the counter and scrolling through his phone.
已经很晚了，当他们终于回到查尔斯的公寓时，查尔斯先给朱莉喂食，然后把她哄上床，之后他才走回厨房，看到马克坐在吧台前，正低头刷着手机。
“You excited for the race next week?” Max asks, as Charles starts pulling ingredients out of the fridge.
“你对下周的比赛感到兴奋吗？”马克斯问道，查尔斯开始从冰箱里拿出食材。

Charles considers it. “I mean, yes? It’s Monaco. I’m never not excited for Monaco. But, you know,” he trails off, grabbing a cutting board and a knife to start mincing the garlic.
查尔斯考虑了一下。“我的意思是，是的？这是摩纳哥。我对摩纳哥永远不会不兴奋。但是，你知道，”他停顿了一下，拿起一个切菜板和一把刀开始切蒜。
“You’d like to actually get a podium, this time,” Max finishes his sentence.
“这次你真的想上领奖台，”马克斯结束了他的句子。
“I’d like to win,” Charles corrects him, pointing the knife in Max’s direction, and Max laughs.
“我想赢，”查尔斯纠正他，指着刀朝马克斯的方向，马克斯笑了。
“Well, see, I was already planning on doing that, so you’re going to have to settle for second,” Max says, with a shrug, grinning at Charles’s affronted look.
“好吧，你看，我本来就打算这么做，所以你得满足于第二，”马克说，耸耸肩，朝查尔斯愤怒的表情露出微笑。
“I will never settle for second,” Charles tells him, turning to the stove and grabbing a pan.
“我永远不会满足于第二，”查尔斯对他说，转身走向炉子，拿起一个锅。
“I know,” Max says, but it’s not accusing. If anything, it sounds fond. For a second, it looks like Max is going to say something else, but he seems to decide against it, shaking his head. “Hey, maybe Julie is your good luck charm. I mean, you’ve been doing pretty well so far this year.”
“我知道，”马克斯说，但这并不是指责。如果说有什么的话，听起来更像是亲切。片刻间，马克斯似乎要说些什么，但他似乎决定不说了，摇了摇头。“嘿，也许朱莉是你的幸运符。我是说，你今年到目前为止表现得相当不错。”

Charles snorts. “I put us in the barriers in Bahrain,” he reminds Max. He still remembers the fire in Max’s eyes, when he’d opened the door of his hotel room that night. The anger. It seems to have completely disappeared now, and Max just shrugs.
查尔斯哼了一声。“我把我们放在巴林的障碍里，”他提醒麦克斯。他仍然记得那晚当他打开酒店房间的门时，麦克斯眼中的火焰。愤怒。现在似乎完全消失了，麦克斯只是耸了耸肩。

Charles tries not to dwell too much on how much has changed between them, since that moment, and tries to stir his minced beef around the pan with one hand as he tries to grab the container of mushrooms from the fridge with the other.
查尔斯尽量不去过多思考他们之间自那一刻以来发生了多少变化，他一只手试图在锅里搅拌剁碎的牛肉，另一只手则试图从冰箱里拿出蘑菇。
“Hey, do you need any help?” Max says, already getting up from his chair, standing next to the fridge with the container of mushrooms in his hand before Charles can tell him no.
“嘿，你需要帮忙吗？”马克斯说着，已经从椅子上站起来，手里拿着一盒蘑菇，站在冰箱旁边，等查尔斯告诉他不需要之前。
“Oh, uh, I guess you can cut those?” He asks, and Max nods, moving towards the cutting board. Charles focuses on his beef for a while, but when he glances back up, he nearly drops his spatula. “Max, oh my god, you’re going to cut off your fingers like that, please stop.”
“哦，呃，我想你可以切那些吗？”他问，马克点了点头，走向切菜板。查尔斯专注于他的牛肉一会儿，但当他回头看时，差点把铲子掉了。“马克，天哪，你那样切会切掉你的手指，求你停下。”
“What?” Max says, but he stops cutting, staring at Charles a little confused. “What am I doing wrong?”
“什么？”马克斯说，但他停下了切割，困惑地盯着查尔斯。“我做错了什么？”
“Your fingers,” Charles admonishes, moving over to stand next to him. “You have to tuck them in, like this,” He takes the knife from Max’s hand and shows him. “See? You tuck your fingers in, like a little claw, and then you cut.”
“你的手指，”查尔斯警告道，走到他身边。“你得把它们收起来，像这样。”他从马克斯手中拿过刀，给他演示。“看到了吗？你把手指收起来，像个小爪子，然后就可以切了。”

Max frowns. “That seems more complicated somehow.”
马克斯皱起眉头。“这似乎变得更加复杂了。”
Charles hums. “Yeah, it takes a while getting used to, but it’ll save you a trip to the ER in the future, trust me.” Max still looks a bit skeptical, but goes back to cutting, carefully tucking his finger into a claw.
查尔斯哼了一声。“是的，习惯一下需要时间，但相信我，这会让你将来省去去急诊室的麻烦。”马克看起来还是有些怀疑，但又回去切东西，小心翼翼地把手指收成爪子。
“So, you’re not much of a cook, then?” Charles asks, as he starts pulling bottles out of the cabinet just to Max’s left for his sauce. He gently bumps his hip against Max’s before moving back to the other side of the countertop, Max letting out a small indignant squawk.
“所以，你不太会做饭，是吗？”查尔斯问道，开始从马كس左边的橱柜里拿出瓶子来做酱汁。他轻轻地用臀部碰了碰马كس，然后又回到台面的另一边，马كس发出一声小小的不满叫声。
“See, I think that’s how you end up in the ER, actually,” he says, glaring at Charles. “But no, I don’t really cook much. Never really enjoy doing it, when it’s just for me.”
“你看，我觉得这就是你最终会进急诊室的原因，”他瞪着查尔斯说。“不过，我确实不怎么做饭。其实我从来不喜欢做饭，尤其是为了自己。”
“Good thing you had your fingers tucked in then, isn’t it?” Charles quips back, mischievous glint in his eyes. Max throws a piece of mushroom at him, and Charles only just manages to avoid it. It lands on the counter instead. “But you like cooking for others?”
“你把手指收起来真是个好主意，不是吗？”查尔斯调皮地回应，眼中闪烁着顽皮的光芒。马克斯朝他扔了一块蘑菇，查尔斯勉强躲开了。蘑菇落在了台面上。“不过你喜欢为别人做饭吗？”

Max pulls a complicated face. “Not really? I’m not very good at it, so.”
马克斯做了个复杂的表情。“不太是吗？我不太擅长这个，所以。”
Charles grins knowingly at him. “And you don’t like doing things you’re not good at.”
查尔斯对他微微一笑。“而且你不喜欢做自己不擅长的事情。”
Max rolls his eyes. “It’s not like I hate cooking because I can’t win at it. It’s just that if I am making food for someone, I want them to enjoy it, and I just don’t think I can make something that good.”
马克翻了个白眼。“我并不是因为做饭赢不了才讨厌它。只是如果我为某人做饭，我希望他们能享受，而我就是觉得我做不出那么好吃的东西。”
“But you have to practice, no?” Charles says, measuring out a table spoon of soy sauce.
“但是你得练习，不是吗？”查尔斯一边说，一边量出一汤匙酱油。
“Yeah, but who’s going to eat my shitty food until I actually get good at it?” Max says, with a laugh. He’s finished with the mushrooms, and Charles hands him an onion.
“是啊，但谁会吃我做的糟糕食物，直到我真的学会做饭？”马克斯笑着说。他已经处理完蘑菇，查尔斯递给他一个洋葱。
“I would,” he says, sincerely, and it almost feels like a confession. He quickly adds, “I mean, after everything you’ve done for me, for Julie, I reckon I owe you one.”
“我愿意，”他说，真诚地，几乎像是一种忏悔。他迅速补充道：“我的意思是，考虑到你为我和朱莉所做的一切，我想我欠你一个人情。”

Max smiles at him, and it’s soft. Fond, almost. “You don’t owe me shit,” he says, sincerely. “But sure. I’ll cook for you sometime. If you get food poisoning, that’s on you.”
马克斯对他微笑，笑容温柔，几乎带着宠溺。“你不欠我任何东西，”他真诚地说。“不过没问题。我会找时间给你做饭。如果你食物中毒，那是你的事。”

Charles laughs, and holds up a spoon. “Can you taste the sauce?” Charles is fully expecting Max to take the spoon from his hands, but he doesn’t, leaning forward instead, wrapping his lips around the spoon as he makes eye contact with Charles. Charles nearly drops it, as Max pulls away and hums.
查尔斯笑了，举起一把勺子。“你能尝到酱汁吗？”查尔斯完全期待马克斯从他手中接过勺子，但他没有，而是向前倾身，嘴唇包裹住勺子，与查尔斯对视。查尔斯差点把勺子掉了，因为马克斯抽回嘴唇，轻声哼唱。
“It’s good,” he says, voice low, and it’s doing things to Charles’s stomach. He flushes, and quickly turns back to the counter.
“很好，”他说，声音低沉，这让查尔斯的胃里产生了些奇妙的感觉。他脸红了，迅速转回柜台。
“Good, yeah, good, I’ll uh. Did you finish the veggies?” He asks, busying himself with cleaning up the used bottles and jars, avoiding eye contact with Max at all costs, just in case he does something stupid, like kiss him.
“好，嗯，好，我会的。你把蔬菜弄完了吗？”他问，忙着清理用过的瓶子和罐子，尽量避免与马克斯眼神接触，以防他做出什么愚蠢的事情，比如亲吻他。

He really has to get a grip on this stupid crush he’s developing before things get out of hand. He has a baby for god’s sake. He doesn’t have time for this.
他真的得控制住这个愚蠢的暗恋，免得事情失控。他可是有个孩子的，天哪。他没有时间去处理这些。

They finish cooking the food, and end up carrying their bowls to the couch, eating while watching another episode of The Witcher. Max once again talks through most of it, but Charles finds himself not minding it so much. There’s a comfortable ease that seems to have developed between them, a familiarity that Charles would’ve scoffed at at the beginning of the year.
他们做好了饭，最后把碗端到沙发上，一边吃一边看《猎魔人》的另一集。马克斯再次在大部分时间里喋喋不休，但查尔斯发现自己并不太在意。两人之间似乎发展出了一种舒适的轻松感，一种查尔斯在年初时会嗤之以鼻的熟悉感。

Max is slowly becoming a friend, someone he can lean on, and Charles kind of really likes that. Sure, he wishes there could be more, maybe, the urge to kiss him still there, but for now, he’s happy with this comfortable little bubble they’ve created for themselves.
马克斯正在慢慢成为一个朋友，一个他可以依靠的人，而查尔斯对此有点真的很喜欢。当然，他希望能有更多，也许，亲吻他的冲动依然存在，但现在，他对他们为自己创造的这个舒适的小泡泡感到满意。

“Fuck,” Charles says, with feeling, as Julie starts absolutely screaming, in his arms, face screwed up and red. For once, he wishes he could join her.
“去他的，”查尔斯情绪激动地说，朱莉在他怀里开始尖叫，脸扭曲得通红。这一次，他希望自己能和她一起尖叫。

That’s the life of an F1 driver and a father, he thinks resignedly. One day you’re winning the Monaco Grand Prix, and the next you are standing in your daughter’s bedroom at one in the morning, absolutely covered in puke.
这就是一名 F1 车手和父亲的生活，他无奈地想。一天你在摩纳哥大奖赛上获胜，第二天凌晨一点你却站在女儿的卧室里，浑身都是呕吐物。

He’s not sure where Julie’s stomach bug had come from, but his doctor had assured him it should be over in a day or so. She would just be upset, and might puke every now and then, but that’s all. Charles had been grateful at the time, relieved it wasn’t anything worse. Now, slowly, he’s starting to realize that maybe this is worse.
他不确定朱莉的肚子病是从哪里来的，但他的医生向他保证，这应该在一两天内好转。她只是会感到不舒服，可能会偶尔呕吐，但就这些。查尔斯当时感到很感激，松了一口气，觉得这没什么更糟的。现在，慢慢地，他开始意识到，也许这更糟。

Julie is still screaming, and he contemplates putting her down so he can at least put on a clean shirt, but she’s so upset, and he figures her one parental figure just leaving her alone right now surely isn’t going to help.
朱莉仍在尖叫，他考虑把她放下，好让自己至少换上一件干净的衬衫，但她太难过了，他想她的唯一一个监护人现在就这样把她丢在一旁肯定不会有帮助。

So he ends up calling the one person he knows might still be awake at this time of the night.
所以他最终打电话给那个他知道在这个夜晚可能还醒着的人。
“'llo?” A sleepy voice says on the other end of the line. Charles winces. Or maybe not.
“‘喂？”电话那头传来一个困倦的声音。查尔斯皱了皱眉。或者说并不是。
“Max, hi,” he says. “Shit, I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“马克斯，嗨，”他说。“糟糕，我很抱歉，是不是把你吵醒了？”
There’s a silence on the other end of the line, the slight rustling of sheets. “Charles? Fuck, is that Julie screaming in the background? Where are you, what’s going on?” Max suddenly sounds alert, more awake, and there’s an increased amount of rustling now, like he is actually getting out of bed.
电话那头一片寂静，只有轻微的床单沙沙声。“查尔斯？该死，背景里是朱莉在尖叫吗？你在哪里，发生了什么？”马克突然变得警觉，似乎更加清醒，沙沙声也增多了，像是他真的起床了。
“No, no, don’t worry she’s fine, she’s fine,” Charles rushes out. “Well, she’s not, actually. But it’s a stomach bug and the doctor said it should be over in a day, so that’s why she uh… sounds like that, I guess.”
“没事，没事，别担心，她很好，她很好，”查尔斯急忙说道。“其实，她并不好。但这是肠胃病毒，医生说应该一天内就能好，所以她……我想，这就是她听起来那样的原因。”
“Oh, okay, that’s. I mean, not good, but I thought…” Max trails off, but he sounds genuinely relieved. “So, why did you call then?”
“哦，好吧，那是。我是说，不太好，但我以为……”马克停顿了一下，但听起来真的松了一口气。“那么，你为什么打电话呢？”

Charles pulls a face. Good question. “Listen, it’s kind of embarrassing. It’s just, I thought you might still be awake, because I know you play a lot of sim racing so I thought you might still
查尔斯做了个鬼脸。好问题。“听着，这有点尴尬。就是，我以为你可能还没睡，因为我知道你玩很多模拟赛车，所以我想你可能还在。”
be doing that and I didn’t want to call anyone else in case I woke them up, but then clearly I woke you up, and really, it’s nothing so-”
我本来不想打扰其他人，以免把他们吵醒，但显然我把你吵醒了，实际上，这没什么大不了的——
“Charles,” Max interrupts him, voice stern. “Why did you call.”
“查尔斯，”马克打断了他，声音严厉。“你为什么打电话？”
Charles sighs in defeat. “Julie, uh. Puked all over my shirt. But I don’t really want to leave her alone when she’s like this, so I was hoping you could come over and watch her for a bit so I could change and maybe shower.”
查尔斯无奈地叹了口气。“朱莉，呃。吐在我衬衫上了。但我真的不想在她这样的情况下把她一个人留着，所以我希望你能过来照看她一会儿，这样我可以换衣服，可能还可以洗个澡。”

There’s another silence on the other end of the line. Then, “I’ll be there in fifteen.”
另一端传来一阵沉默。然后，“我十五分钟后到。”
Before Charles can get in another word, Max hangs up. He should feel guilty, maybe, at dragging Max out of his bed at one in the morning for this. Most of all, he just feels relieved.
在查尔斯还没来得及说出另一个字的时候，马克斯就挂断了电话。他应该感到内疚，也许，毕竟是在凌晨一点把马克斯从床上拖出来。最重要的是，他只是感到松了一口气。
“Oh, Julie,” Max says, voice soft and tender, when Charles opens the door with his wailing daughter in his arms. “Come here, baby girl, let’s give your dad a break, yeah?” He reaches his arms out for her and she goes willingly, settling on Max’s hip with a few sad blubbering noises.
“哦，朱莉，”马克轻声温柔地说，当查尔斯抱着哭泣的女儿打开门时。“过来，宝贝女孩，让我们给你爸爸一个喘息的机会，好吗？”他伸出手臂向她，她心甘情愿地过去，依偎在马克的胯下，发出几声伤心的呜咽声。
“Max, thank you so much,” Charles says, as he walks back into the apartment, Max following behind him. “You are my favorite person in the world right now.”
“马克斯，非常感谢你，”查尔斯说着，走回公寓，马克斯跟在他身后。“你是我现在世界上最喜欢的人。”

Max snorts, “Tell that to the press at the next race and we’re even.” He sits down on the couch, and allows Julie to snuggle into his side. “Now, go shower. You reek.”
马克斯哼了一声，“下次比赛时告诉记者，我们就扯平了。”他坐在沙发上，让朱莉依偎在他身边。“现在，去洗个澡。你身上有味。”

Charles gives him another grateful look, before he disappears into the master bathroom. The shower is the best thing that’s happened to him all day, and when he reappears, wearing clean clothes, he feels refreshed and ready to take on the rest of what he is sure is going to be a hell of a night.
查尔斯再次感激地看了他一眼，然后消失在主浴室里。淋浴是他今天遇到的最美好的事情，当他重新出现，穿着干净的衣服时，他感到神清气爽，准备迎接他确信将会是个疯狂的夜晚。

He’s proven almost immediately right when he makes his way back into the living room and finds Max standing in the middle of the room, holding Julie, a suspicious stain on his black tshirt. Charles groans. “Tell me she didn’t,” he says, rubbing his hand over his face. “Fucking hell.”
他几乎立刻就证明了自己是对的，当他走回客厅，发现马克斯站在房间中央，抱着朱莉，黑色 T 恤上有一个可疑的污渍。查尔斯呻吟了一声。“告诉我她没有这样做，”他说，手掌摩挲着自己的脸。“真是见鬼。”
“It’s fine, Charles, really, I knew it was a possibility,” Max says, bouncing Julie a little. She’s quieted down significantly, which is the only upside to this whole situation. “She seems to be over the worst of it now, at least. I got her a bath started in your guest bathroom, I hope that wasn’t overstepping? But I thought she could maybe use it. I’ll go now, though. I could, uh. Really use a shower as well.”
“没事的，查尔斯，真的，我知道这有可能，”马克斯说着，轻轻摇晃着朱莉。她安静了很多，这也是整个情况中唯一的好处。“她现在似乎已经度过了最糟糕的阶段，至少。我在你的客浴室里给她准备了一个澡，希望这没有越界？但我觉得她可能需要这个。不过我现在就去。我也，呃，真的需要洗个澡。”
“Bath is a great idea, actually,” Charles says, stepping forward and taking Julie from Max’s arms. “But, uh, you can shower here, if you want to? I mean, I can imagine you don’t want to walk around Monaco in well…” He trails off.
“洗澡其实是个好主意，”查尔斯说着，向前走去，从马克斯的怀抱中接过朱莉。“不过，呃，如果你想的话，可以在这里洗澡吗？我的意思是，我可以想象你不想在摩纳哥四处走动，嗯……”他的话没说完。
“A puke shirt,” Max finishes his sentence, and Charles pulls a face.
“呕吐衬衫，”马克斯说完这句话，查尔斯做了个鬼脸。
“That, yeah. Wait, I’ll let you borrow a shirt too. How are the pants?” Charles disappears into his bedroom.
“对，没错。等一下，我也让你借一件衬衫。裤子怎么样？”查尔斯消失在他的卧室里。
“Could use some pants too, if you have them,” Max says, wandering after him.
“如果你有的话，我也需要一些裤子，”马克斯一边说，一边跟在他后面。
Charles digs around his closet, and fishes out a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He hands them to Max, along with a towel, and then points him in the direction of the master bathroom, before carrying Julie into the guest bedroom to give her a bath.
查尔斯在他的衣柜里翻找，找出一件 T 恤和一条运动裤。他把它们递给马克，还给他一条毛巾，然后指向主浴室的方向，接着把朱莉抱进客卧给她洗澡。

She’s still babbling a little sadly, but overall she appears less likely to puke all over him, and when she gets in the bath, she even splashes around almost happily. He dresses her in a fresh set of PJ’s and puts her in her crib after. She yawns, and he smiles fondly at her as he tucks her in.
她仍然有些伤心地喋喋不休，但总体来看，她似乎不太可能在他身上呕吐。当她进浴缸时，甚至还高兴地扑腾着水。之后，他给她换上了一套干净的睡衣，把她放进婴儿床里。她打了个哈欠，他温柔地对她微笑着，给她盖好被子。

When she’s all snuggled up he sits down in the wicker chair next to her crib and leans on the side, softly singing to her in French until he can see her starting to doze off. He stands, then, leans over to press a soft, featherlight kiss to her forehead, and turns to leave the room.
当她蜷缩在一起时，他坐在她婴儿床旁的藤椅上，靠在一侧，轻声用法语唱歌给她听，直到他看到她开始打瞌睡。然后他站起来，俯身轻轻地在她的额头上印下一个柔软、轻如羽毛的吻，转身离开房间。

Max is leaning in the doorway, looking like an absolutely vision with messy, wet hair, wearing Charles’s clothes, which look unfairly good on him. The shirt is a little tight in the arms and chest, but it’s accentuating his build in absolutely the best way possible. Max is smiling almost fondly at the scene before him, and when Charles catches his gaze, there’s an almost intense look in his eyes.
马克斯靠在门口，显得如同一幅绝美的画面，湿漉漉的头发凌乱不堪，穿着查尔斯的衣服，显得格外好看。衬衫在手臂和胸部有些紧，但恰到好处地勾勒出他的身材。马克斯几乎带着一种温柔的微笑看着眼前的场景，当查尔斯与他的目光相遇时，他的眼中闪烁着几乎强烈的神情。

Charles wants to kiss him. He wants to bury his face in the exposed line of Max’s throat and fall asleep there. He wants Max to wrap him up in those big, strong arms, rub his back, and tell him it’s all going to be okay.
查尔斯想吻他。他想把脸埋在马克暴露的脖子线条上，在那里入睡。他希望马克用那双强壮的大臂把他包裹起来，抚摸他的背，告诉他一切都会好起来的。

He wants, he wants, he wants.
他想要，他想要，他想要。
Max turns around, breaking eye contact. The moment is broken. Charles takes a shaky breath, and follows him out the room, closing the door with a soft click.
马克转过身，打破了眼神的接触。那一刻被打破了。查尔斯深吸了一口气，跟着他走出房间，轻轻关上了门。

They end up collapsing on the couch together, Max’s head falling back against the pillows with a groan. “Thank you,” Charles says, “Seriously, I know I said it a million times already but, fuck. I really needed your help there.”
他们最终一起倒在沙发上，马克斯的头靠在枕头上，发出一声呻吟。“谢谢你，”查尔斯说，“说实话，我知道我已经说过一百万次了，但，真是的。我真的很需要你的帮助。”
“Any time, you know that,” Max says, rubbing a hand over his face and yawning. “Fuck, sorry. Had a long day.”
“随时都可以，你知道的，”马克斯说着，手掌抚过脸庞，打了个哈欠。“该死，抱歉。今天真是漫长的一天。”

Charles cringes a little. He knows he’s partly to blame for that long day. “Do you want to just crash here? I don’t have a spare bedroom anymore because that’s where Julie sleeps, but you can sleep on the couch if you want?” Max seems a little hesitant, so Charles ads. “I’ll make you pancakes in the morning?”
查尔斯有些畏缩。他知道自己对那漫长的一天有部分责任。“你想就待在这里吗？我没有多余的卧室了，因为那是朱莉睡的地方，但如果你愿意的话可以睡在沙发上。”马克似乎有些犹豫，于是查尔斯补充道：“我明天早上会给你做煎饼？”
“You know what, I might take you up on that offer,” Max says, rubbing at his eyes. “I don’t really feel like walking all the way back to my apartment and I do like pancakes, so.”
“你知道吗，我可能会接受你的提议，”马克斯说着，揉了揉他的眼睛。“我真的不想走回我的公寓，而且我确实喜欢煎饼，所以。”
“I’ll go grab you some bedding,” Charles says, disappearing back in his own bedroom.
“我去给你拿些床上用品，”查尔斯说着，消失在自己的卧室里。

When he has Max all tucked in on the couch, he finds himself standing in the doorway of his own bedroom, staring back into the dark living room, the shape lying on his couch. He wants to thank Max again, but he’s done that so many times already at this point it’s starting to lose its meaning. So instead he just says, “Night, Max. Sleep well.” And hope Max gets the sentiment anyway.
当他把马克斯安顿好在沙发上时，他发现自己站在自己卧室的门口，凝视着黑暗的客厅，沙发上躺着的身影。他想再次感谢马克斯，但到现在为止，他已经说了太多次，这句话开始失去意义。因此，他只是说：“晚安，马克斯。睡个好觉。”并希望马克斯能感受到这份心意。

The next morning, he’s roused by the sounds of someone puttering around in his kitchen. He shoots up, panicked, before he remembers last night, and Max sleeping over, and he falls back into the pillows with a sigh. He’s about to go back to sleep, when he hears Julie’s babbles also coming from the direction of the kitchen.
第二天早上，他被厨房里有人忙碌的声音吵醒。他惊慌地坐起，随即想起昨晚的事情，还有马克斯在他家过夜，他无奈地又倒回到枕头上，叹了口气。他正准备再睡一会儿，却听到朱莉在厨房方向发出的咿呀声。

Interest piqued, he gets up, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, and wanders into the kitchen.
他兴趣盎然，起身穿上了一条运动裤和一件连帽衫，漫步走进厨房。
“Good morning,” Max says cheerfully, sitting at the kitchen counter. Next to him, in her high chair, is Julie, babbling happily when she spots Charles and waving her little fists around.
“早上好，”马克斯愉快地说，坐在厨房的台面上。旁边，朱莉坐在她的高脚椅上，看到查尔斯时高兴地喋喋不休，挥舞着她的小拳头。
“Morning,” Charles says, raising an eyebrow at his daughter before looking back at Max.
“早上好，”查尔斯说，抬起眉毛看了看女儿，然后又转向麦克斯。
Max flushes a little. “I uh, hope you don’t mind I got her out of bed. I couldn’t sleep anymore so I went to check on her, see how she was doing after the whole puking thing you know, and she was a awake, and she kept babbling at me, so I thought-”
马克微微脸红。“我，呃，希望你不介意我把她叫起来。我再也睡不着了，所以我去看看她，看看她在呕吐之后怎么样，你知道的，她醒着，一直对我喋喋不休，所以我想——”
“Max, it’s fine,” Charles says, cutting off Max’s rambling. “I trust you with her, you know that. I was just surprised, that’s all.”
“马克斯，没事，”查尔斯打断了马克斯的喋喋不休，说道。“我相信你能照顾她，你知道的。我只是有点惊讶，仅此而已。”

Max nods, faint smile on his face, before sliding off his bar stool. “I made coffee, but I couldn’t really figure out your machine, so I can’t promise it’s good coffee. But it’s there, if you want it.”
马克点了点头，脸上露出淡淡的微笑，然后从吧台凳上滑了下来。“我煮了咖啡，但我实在搞不懂你的机器，所以不能保证咖啡好喝。不过它在那里，如果你想要的话。”
“I’d love some,” Charles says, and Max goes to pour him a cup as Charles pulls open the fridge. “How did you sleep?” He asks, as he pulls out a carton of milk and a few eggs.
“我很想要一些，”查尔斯说，麦克斯去给他倒了一杯，查尔斯则打开冰箱。“你睡得怎么样？”他一边问，一边拿出一盒牛奶和几个鸡蛋。
“Terrible,” Max says, with a grimace. “Seriously dude, I appreciate you letting me sleep over, but that couch is a personal insult to matrass developers everywhere.”
“太糟糕了，”马克斯皱着眉头说。“说真的，伙计，我很感激你让我过夜，但那沙发简直是对所有床垫开发者的个人侮辱。”

Charles winches. “I’m sorry. To be fair, when I bought it I still had a guest bedroom, so I never considered someone having to sleep on it.”
查尔斯叹了口气。“我很抱歉。公平地说，当我买它的时候，我还有一个客房，所以我从未考虑过有人要在上面睡觉。”
“It’s fine, really,” Max says, as he hands Charles a cup of coffee. “The massage to get those kinks out of my back is going to suck, but like I said, I’m glad I could sleep over.”
“没事，真的，”马克斯说着，把一杯咖啡递给查尔斯。“按摩把我背上的那些紧绷解开会很痛苦，但就像我说的，我很高兴能在这里过夜。”

Charles takes a sip of his coffee before placing it on the counter. He turns back to the fridge and pulls out a small container of overnight oats. “Hey would you mind feeding Julie while I go make us some pancakes?” He asks, turning to Max, who is leaning against the counter next to him.
查尔斯喝了一口咖啡，然后把杯子放在柜台上。他转身走向冰箱，拿出一个小容器的过夜燕麦。“嘿，你介意在我去给我们做煎饼的时候喂朱莉吗？”他问，转向靠在他旁边柜台上的马克。
“Yeah, sure,” Max says, taking the container from Charles’s hand and grabbing a spoon before turning back to Julie. “Look, breakfast!” He says.
“好的，当然，”马克斯说着，从查尔斯手中接过容器，抓起一把勺子，然后转向朱莉。“看，早餐！”他说。
“A-ga, ba!” Julie says, excitedly, and Charles chuckles as he grabs a bowl and starts whisking ingredients together.
“阿嘎，爸爸！”朱莉兴奋地说，查尔斯笑着拿起一个碗，开始将食材搅拌在一起。

It’s one of the calmest mornings he’d had since Julie entered his life. Usually he’s running to get her up and dressed and fed for that day’s activities, before even thinking about his own needs, so it’s nice to be able to slow down and really take the time for breakfast for a change.
自从朱莉进入他的生活以来，这是他经历过的最平静的早晨之一。通常情况下，他总是忙着叫她起床、穿衣、喂她吃早餐，为当天的活动做准备，连自己的需求都来不及考虑，所以能够放慢脚步，真正花时间享受早餐，真是难得的改变。

Julie doesn’t really seem to mind either, laughing loudly as Max pretends her spoonful of oats is actually a race car. He finishes the pancakes and they sit at the kitchen island, eating in relative peace as Julie babbles happily at them. It feels, if Charles didn’t know better, like family.
朱莉似乎也并不在意，笑得很开心，马克斯假装她的燕麦勺子其实是一辆赛车。他吃完煎饼，他们坐在厨房岛上，相对安静地吃着，朱莉开心地喋喋不休。如果查尔斯不知道得更好，感觉就像一家人。

When Max eventually leaves, the house almost feels too quiet. Charles admonishes himself for getting way too attached to someone who is just trying to help him out, and goes to do some laundry.
当马克斯最终离开时，房子几乎显得太安静了。查尔斯责备自己对一个只是想帮助他的人过于依恋，然后去洗衣服。

A few weeks later, Charles is sitting in his home office, trying very hard not to succumb to the urge to throw his laptop out of the window. The summer break is coming up, so next to all of the last minute meetings Ferrari has scheduled, he’s also trying to book a trip for him and Julie. Trying to find a good place to go with baby friendly hotels and appropriate flight times, on top of listening to hours and hours of race strategy is slowly doing his head in.
几周后，查尔斯坐在家里的办公室里，努力克制自己不去把笔记本电脑扔出窗外。暑假快到了，因此在法拉利安排的所有临时会议之外，他还在努力为自己和朱莉预订一次旅行。寻找一个适合带婴儿的酒店和合适的航班时间的好地方，加上听着数小时的比赛策略，渐渐让他感到头疼。

His phone beeps and he’s momentarily distracted, glancing down to see a text from Max. He replies, probably a bit shorter than he normally would, and throws his phone back on the desk, rubbing a hand over his face and turning towards Julie, who is lying on her playmat on the floor behind him.
他的手机 beep 一声，他稍微分心，低头看到 Max 发来的短信。他回复了，可能比平时简短一些，然后把手机扔回桌子上，手掌抹过脸庞，转向躺在他身后地板上的 Julie，她正躺在玩垫上。
“Hey honey,” he says, smiling tiredly at her, as Julie babbles at him. “This can’t be much fun for you, huh? I promise I’ll be done soon and hang out with you for a bit.”
“嘿，亲爱的，”他疲惫地对她微笑着说，朱莉在他面前喋喋不休。“这对你来说应该没什么乐趣吧？我保证很快就会结束，和你一起待一会儿。”
“A-ga!” Julie says, as Charles turns back to his laptop. There’s another zoom call notification, and he takes a deep, steadying breath before hitting accept. Summer break truly couldn’t come soon enough.
“阿嘎！”朱莉说道，查尔斯转身回到他的笔记本电脑前。又一个视频会议通知弹出，他深吸一口气，平静下来后点击接受。暑假真是迫不及待地想要到来了。

--

Not even an hour later, he’s pulled away from his laptop once again as his doorbell rings. He makes his apologies to the people in the zoom meeting, picks Julie up, and heads for the door. When he swings it open, he realizes he maybe should have seen that one coming. There really is only one person who shows up unannounced - but not unwelcome - like this.
不到一个小时，他又一次被门铃声从笔记本电脑前拉开。他向视频会议中的人们道歉，抱起朱莉，走向门口。当他打开门时，他意识到自己或许应该预料到这一点。确实只有一个人会这样不请自来——但并不是不受欢迎。
“Max,” he says, “hi.”
“马克斯，”他说，“嗨。”
“Ba!” Julie says, waving her fists at Max excitedly. “Ba! Ba!”
“巴！”朱莉兴奋地挥舞着拳头对着马克说。“巴！巴！”
“Hi!” Max says, smiling at Julie before turning back to Charles. “You sounded a bit off in your texts. Wanted to check in to see if you were okay.” He holds up the plastic bag he’s holding in his hand. “I brought pizza! I thought, since I promised I would cook for you and all.”
“嗨！”马克斯微笑着对朱莉说，然后转向查尔斯。“你的短信听起来有点不对劲。我想问问你是否还好。”他举起手中的塑料袋。“我带来了披萨！我想，既然我答应过要给你做饭。”

Charles snorts, but pushes the door open more to allow Max to walk inside. “Mate, I don’t think putting a pizza in the oven counts as cooking.”
查尔斯哼了一声，但还是把门推开，让马克走了进去。“伙计，我觉得把比萨放进烤箱不算做饭。”

Max makes a dismissive hand motion and heads for the kitchen. “I have stuff for like, a side salad too. That counts as cooking, right?”
马克做了个不屑的手势，朝厨房走去。“我还有一些东西可以做个配菜沙拉。这算是做饭吧？”
“Sure,” Charles says, standing in the doorway of his own kitchen while he watches Max unpack his stuff.
“当然，”查尔斯说，站在自己厨房的门口，看着马克拆开他的东西。

Max catches him looking and freezes, suddenly seeming a little flustered. “Shit, if I’m like, overstepping or something you should totally tell me. It’s just, you seemed stressed, and uh, I know how you get on days like these, you get kind of terrible at feeding yourself so, uh, I thought… pizza!”
马克斯看到他在看自己，顿时愣住，似乎有些慌乱。“糟糕，如果我有点越界或者什么的，你应该告诉我。只是，你看起来很紧张，我知道你在这样的日子里会变得有点糟糕，所以，我想……披萨！”

Charles can’t help the fond smile that spreads on his face. “Don’t worry about it, you were right, actually. I am a little stressed, I guess.” He switches Julie to his other hip so he can help Max put away some of the stuff he brought. “Summer break is coming up, and I thought it might be nice to take Julie somewhere, but my planning keeps getting interrupted by all these last minute Ferrari meetings they keep scheduling to get as much stuff done before the break as possible.”
查尔斯忍不住脸上浮现出一抹温柔的微笑。“别担心，其实你说得对。我想我有点压力。”他把朱莉换到另一侧的胯上，以便帮麦克斯收拾他带来的东西。“暑假快到了，我想带朱莉去个地方，但我的计划总是被这些临时安排的法拉利会议打断，他们想在假期前尽可能多地完成工作。”

Max hums. “Yeah, I feel you. Red Bull’s been pretty much the same, though it has thankfully quieted down the last couple of days. Hey, what if I take care of Julie for a bit, you can get all your work stuff done, and we’ll eat pizza afterwards?”
马克斯哼着歌。“是啊，我懂你的意思。红牛基本上还是那个样子，不过这几天幸好安静了些。嘿，要不我先照顾一下朱莉，你可以把工作上的事情都处理完，然后我们再去吃披萨？”

Charles wants to decline. Wants to tell Max he is fine, and he can do this, at least, without his help. But the thought of being able to fully focus on his work, without having to worry about Julie for a bit does actually seem kind of nice. “Yeah, yeah, that’d be good actually.”
查尔斯想拒绝。他想告诉马克自己没事，他可以做到这一点，至少不需要他的帮助。但是，能够完全专注于工作，而不必担心朱莉的想法，实际上似乎还挺不错的。“是的，是的，这样其实挺好的。”

Max moves closer to him. Julie makes a happy sound, and then to both their surprise, makes grabby hands for Max, babbling happily. “Well, that definitely settles it,” Charles says, with a laugh, as he hands Julie over to Max.
马克斯靠近他。朱莉发出快乐的声音，接着让他们都感到惊讶的是，她朝马克斯伸出手，开心地喃喃自语。“好吧，这下可真是定下来了，”查尔斯笑着说，把朱莉递给马克斯。
“A-ga,” Julie says, as he grips the fabric of Max’s shirt and waves her other fist around happily. “Ba!”
“阿嘎，”朱莉说，握着马克衬衫的布料，另一只拳头高兴地挥舞着。“爸！”
“Yeah, Julie bug,” Max says, laughter in his voice, “We’re going to hang out for a bit while your dad does some work.”
“是的，朱莉虫，”马克斯笑着说，“我们会一起玩一会儿，等你爸爸工作。”
“Da!” Julie says decisively, and Charles takes that as his que to leave, moving back to his office.
“好！”朱莉果断地说，查尔斯把这当作离开的信号，回到他的办公室。

A few hours later he closes his laptop with a decisive click, and slumps back in his office chair with a relieved sigh. All his meetings are done, his vacation is booked, and for the first time it what feels like forever, his to do list is empty.
几个小时后，他果断地合上笔记本电脑，松了一口气，瘫坐在办公椅上。所有的会议都结束了，假期也已经预订好，感觉像是永远以来第一次，他的待办事项清单是空的。

He gets up, stretches out, and wanders back to the living room. He hasn’t really heard from Max or Julie much, but he figures that’s a good sign. When he does enter the living room, his heart melts at the sight.
他起身，伸了个懒腰，漫步回到客厅。他其实没有听到马克斯或朱莉的消息，但他觉得这是一种好兆头。当他走进客厅时，看到的景象让他的心融化了。

Max is lying on the couch, Julie on his chest, as he softly reads her a story from the book he’s holding in his hands. Julie is quiet, but her fist is balled into the fabric of Max’s shirt, and there’s an almost entranced look on her face as she listens to Max talk.
马克躺在沙发上，朱莉依偎在他的胸口，他轻声为她读着手中书里的故事。朱莉很安静，但她的拳头紧握着马克衬衫的布料，脸上流露出一种几乎恍惚的神情，专注地听着马克的声音。
“Hey,” Charles says, quietly, as not to startle them.
“嘿，”查尔斯轻声说道，以免吓到他们。
Max pauses mid-sentence and lowers the book, smiling softly when he spots Charles. “Hey, how did it go?”
马克停顿了一下，放下书本，看到查尔斯时微微一笑。“嘿，怎么样？”
“Good, got everything done,” Charles says, moving closer to the couch, taking the book from Max’s hands so he can put it on the coffee table and sitting down next to his feet. “Thanks, again. Looks like you two had fun.”
“很好，所有事情都完成了，”查尔斯说着，走近沙发，从马克的手中接过书，放在咖啡桌上，然后坐在他的脚边。“谢谢你们。看起来你们玩得很开心。”
“We did, didn’t we, Julie bug?” Max asks, glancing down at the baby that’s now clearly falling asleep on his chest.
“我们做到了，是吗，朱莉宝贝？”马克斯问，目光扫向现在显然在他胸前入睡的婴儿。
“Da,” Julie mumbles sleepily. Charles smiles fondly, and his hands finds his way to Max’s ankle, squeezing softly.
“爸爸，”朱莉迷迷糊糊地嘟囔。查尔斯温柔地微笑，手轻轻地摸到马克斯的脚踝，轻轻地握住。
“I took the liberty of feeding her,” Max says, sitting up a little more, repositioning Julie. “There was a container in the fridge labeled ‘Julie’s dinner Tuesday’, so I assumed that was the right one. I thought maybe you could take her to bed, and then I’ll go prepare us some food, and then when you get back we can watch another episode of The Witcher?”
“我冒昧地喂了她，”马克斯说，稍微坐直了一些，重新调整了朱莉的位置。“冰箱里有一个标着‘朱莉的晚餐星期二’的容器，所以我想那应该是对的。我想也许你可以把她带上床，然后我去给我们准备点吃的，等你回来后我们可以再看一集《猎魔人》？”

Charles nods. “Sounds like a plan,” he says, and Max hands Julie over to him, before they each go their separate ways.
查尔斯点头。“听起来不错，”他说，马克斯把朱莉交给他，然后他们各自走开。

Charles appears in the kitchen fifteen minutes later, Julie fast asleep in her crib, to find Max cutting cucumber. “Look at you go,” he says, leaning against the doorway. “Tucking your fingers and everything. I’m impressed.”
查尔斯在十五分钟后出现在厨房，朱莉在婴儿床上熟睡，发现马克斯正在切黄瓜。“看看你，真不错，”他靠在门口说。“手指都收起来了，真让我刮目相看。”

Max laughs. “Well, I learned from the best, so,” he shrugs. “I’m almost finished, though. Would you mind checking the pizza’s and getting some plates ready?”
马克斯笑了。“好吧，我是向最优秀的人学习的，”他耸耸肩。“不过我快完成了。你能帮我检查一下比萨饼并准备一些盘子吗？”

Charles nods, and grabs a few plates, before hip checking Max out of the way so he can take the cutlery out of the drawer Max is standing in front of. “Stop doing that, when I’m holding a knife.” Max exclaims, trying to frown, but the smile tugging at the corners of his lips is ruining the effect a little bit.
查尔斯点点头，抓起几盘子，然后用臀部撞开麦克斯，以便能从麦克斯站在前面的抽屉里拿出餐具。“别这样，等我手里拿着刀的时候。”麦克斯喊道，试图皱眉，但嘴角微微上扬的笑容让他的表情有些失效。
“Well, stop standing in the way then,” Charles retorts, waving a fork at Max. Max throws a piece of cucumber at him, which, out of sheer luck, Charles manages to catch in his mouth.
“那么，别再挡路了，”查尔斯反驳道，挥舞着叉子指着马克斯。马克斯朝他扔了一片黄瓜，查尔斯出于运气好，竟然接住了。

Charles triumphantly raises his arms, as Max chokes on his laughter, shaking his head fondly.
查尔斯得意地举起双臂，马克笑得喘不过气来，满怀宠溺地摇着头。
“Unbelievable,” Max mutters, as Charles happily munches on his piece of cucumber.
“真不可思议，”马克嘟囔着，查尔斯高兴地啃着他的一片黄瓜。
The oven beeps, then, and Charles goes to retrieve their pizza’s as Max finishes the salad. A few minutes later they are settled in on the couch, food spread out on the coffee table and the next episode of The Witcher playing on the screen.
烤箱发出 beep 声，查尔斯走去取他们的比萨饼，麦克斯则在完成沙拉。几分钟后，他们坐在沙发上，食物摆在咖啡桌上，屏幕上播放着《猎魔人》的下一集。
“So, where are you and Julie going?” Max asks, taking a slice of pizza. Charles looks at him questioningly. “For the summer break, I mean. You said something about booking a trip?”
“那么，你和朱莉要去哪里？”马克斯一边问，一边拿了一片披萨。查尔斯疑惑地看着他。“我是说暑假。你提到过要预订一次旅行？”
“Right,” Charles says, also taking a slice of pizza. “Found a nice all-inclusive hotel on Mallorca. It’s not my usual style, but I figured with it just being me and Julie it’s not like I can do anything really adventurous. So it’s going to be a full two weeks of beaches and swimming pools for me.”
“对，”查尔斯说，同时拿了一片披萨。“在马洛卡找到了一家不错的全包酒店。这不是我平常的风格，但我想既然只有我和朱莉，那就没什么特别冒险的事情可以做。所以我将会有整整两个星期的海滩和游泳池。”
“Sounds like my ideal vacation, if I’m honest,” Max says, scooping some salad on his plate.
“说实话，这听起来像我理想的假期，”马克斯一边把沙拉舀到盘子里一边说。
“Does that mean there’s a chance I’ll run into you on Mallorca, or?” Charles says, and it’s a joke, really.
“那是不是意味着我有可能在马略卡岛遇到你，或者？”查尔斯说，这其实是个玩笑。

But then he starts thinking about Max in a pair of swim trunks, on a beach in Mallorca somewhere. His muscular arms and chest all on display, and his thighs. Starts thinking about Max handing him a bottle of sunscreen, asking him to do his back. Thinks about running his hands all over Max’s skin, his neck, his shoulders, his waist, going down lower and lower and lower.
但他开始想象马克斯穿着泳裤，站在马洛卡的某个海滩上。他结实的手臂和胸膛尽显无遗，还有他的腿部。他开始想象马克斯递给他一瓶防晒霜，请他帮他涂背。想象着自己的手在马克斯的肌肤上游走，抚摸着他的脖子、肩膀、腰部，慢慢向下，越来越低。

He quickly takes a big bite of his pizza, and then curses when he immediately burns the roof of his mouth.
他迅速咬了一大口披萨，随即因为烫到了上颚而咒骂。

Max, oblivious to Charles’s pain, shakes his head. “Unfortunately no. Ibiza, for me. But I’ll send you a picture, so you won’t miss me too much.”
马克斯对查尔斯的痛苦毫不在意，摇了摇头。“不幸的是，不行。对我来说是伊比萨。但我会给你发张照片，这样你就不会太想我了。”

Charles, who really, really doesn’t want to send himself into an inappropriate thought spiral again, about Max possibly sending him shirtless selfies from a beach in Ibiza, decides it’s time to change the topic. “The salad is really good, by the way,” he says, taking another bite. He’s not even lying. It is a good salad, even though he can’t taste much with the roof of his mouth still burned.
查尔斯真的不想再陷入不适当的思维漩涡，想着马克斯可能会从伊比萨的海滩发给他没有穿上衣的自拍，他决定是时候换个话题了。“顺便说一下，这沙拉真的很好，”他说着，咬了一口。他甚至没有撒谎。这确实是一份好沙拉，尽管他的上颚仍然被烫得很厉害，味觉并不灵敏。

Max snorts. “It’s four different vegetables and a store bought dressing. It’s really not that special.” He pauses, and when he looks at Charles, his expression is soft. “But thanks. Maybe next time I’ll try something a little more complicated.”
马克嗤之以鼻。“这不过是四种不同的蔬菜和一瓶买来的调料。其实没什么特别的。”他停顿了一下，当他看向查尔斯时，表情变得柔和。“不过谢谢你。也许下次我会尝试一些更复杂的东西。”

Charles smiles at him, and then reaches over, wiping a bit of dressing from the corner of Max’s mouth. “You have a little something,” he says, as he does it, and then freezes.
查尔斯对他微笑，然后伸手过去，擦掉马克斯嘴角的一点调料。“你有一点东西，”他说着，随后僵住了。

The thing is, he does this to Julie all the time. It’s a reflex, at this point. But it’s a lot different when it’s your 10 month old daughter, rather than your colleague/rival/friend, maybe. But it’s too late now, his hand is already on Max’s face, his thumb brushing the corner of his mouth,
事情是，他总是这样对朱莉。这已经成为一种反应。但当对象是你十个月大的女儿，而不是你的同事/对手/朋友时，感觉就完全不同了。但现在已经太晚了，他的手已经放在马克斯的脸上，拇指轻轻擦过他的嘴角。
and they’re so close, so fucking close, and all Charles would have to do is lean forward a little bit and their lips would touch.
他们如此接近，如此他妈的接近，查尔斯只需稍微向前倾一点，他们的嘴唇就会碰在一起。
“Uh,” Max says, and his voice sounds a little high pitched. Before Charles can do anything, though, like act on the insane urge to kiss him, there’s a cry from the baby monitor, and they shoot apart.
“呃，”马克斯说，他的声音听起来有点尖。可是，在查尔斯能做任何事情之前，比如冲动地想吻他，婴儿监视器里传来一声哭喊，他们立刻分开。
“Right, I’ll go, I’ll go check on her,” Charles says, scrambling off the couch and practically running into Julie’s bedroom. When he’s inside he lets himself fall back against the door and lets his head drop back against the wood with a loud thunk. He has to get this, this stupid crush under control, before it really truly gets out of hand.
“好吧，我去，我去看看她，”查尔斯说着，急忙从沙发上跳起来，几乎是跑进朱莉的卧室。当他进了房间，他靠在门上，头重重地靠在木门上，发出一声响亮的碰撞声。他必须控制住这个愚蠢的暗恋，免得它真的失控。

He takes another deep, steadying breath, and then turns towards Julie’s crib. “Hey Julie, what’s up?” He asks, putting his full attention on his daughter, and trying desperately not to think about Max, still sitting on his couch in his living room, and what he must be thinking.
他深吸一口气，平静下来，然后转向朱莉的婴儿床。“嘿，朱莉，怎么样？”他问，专注地看着女儿，拼命不去想仍然坐在他客厅沙发上的马克，以及他此刻的想法。

When he reemerges, Max has put the dishes away and is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. For a moment Charles wonders if he has to bring it up, what just happened between them, but then Max says, “Hey, do you want to watch Bullet Train?” And the moment is broken.
当他重新出现时，马克斯已经把碗碟收拾好了，正坐在沙发上刷手机。查尔斯一瞬间在想是否要提起刚才发生的事情，但随后马克斯说：“嘿，你想看《子弹列车》吗？”这一刻被打破了。

They end up watching another movie after Bullet Train, and when Max glances at the clock, he curses quietly to himself. “Shit, I didn’t realize it was getting that late already. I should go.”
他们在《子弹列车》之后又看了一部电影，当马克斯瞥了一眼钟表时，心里暗骂了一声。“该死，我没意识到已经这么晚了。我得走了。”
“Oh,” Charles says, feeling slightly disappointed at the idea of Max leaving already. He’ll see him at Spa, sure, but race weekends are always hectic and never like this, and he wants to cherish this just a little bit longer. They won’t see each other for most of the summer break, after all. “Uh, you could sleep over again, if you want to?”
“哦，”查尔斯说，心里对马克斯就要离开的想法感到有些失望。他当然会在斯帕见到他，但比赛周末总是忙碌而且从来不像这样，他想再珍惜一下这段时光。毕竟，他们在整个夏季假期里大部分时间都不会见面。“呃，如果你想的话，你可以再留宿一晚。”

Max pulls a face. “No offense, Charles, but it took me three days to recover the last time I slept on that thing you call a couch, so I’ll have to politely decline.”
马克做了个鬼脸。“没有冒犯的意思，查尔斯，但上次我在你所谓的沙发上睡觉后花了三天才恢复，所以我得婉拒了。”
“I have a bed,” Charles blurts out, and then blushes slightly as he adds, “I mean, my bed, it’s quite big, we can uh, share, if you want to? I mean, it’s late, and I don’t want to force you to track all the way back to your apartment, and I really don’t mind, so…”
“我有一张床，”查尔斯脱口而出，然后微微脸红地补充道，“我的意思是，我的床很大，我们可以，呃，如果你想的话，可以一起用？我的意思是，已经很晚了，我不想强迫你一路走回公寓，我真的不介意，所以……”

Max seems to think about it for a second, but then he nods. “Sure, yeah. I’ll sleep over.”
马克斯似乎思考了一下，但随后点了点头。“当然，没问题。我会过夜的。”
So that’s how Charles finds himself tucked under the covers, on his back, listening to Max’s breathing slowly evening out next to him. Charles wasn’t wrong when he said the bed was big, and so they’re hardly in each other space, but still knowing that Max is there is making Charles’s stomach do all kind of twists and turns.
所以查尔斯就这样躺在被子下，仰面朝天，听着马克斯的呼吸逐渐平稳。查尔斯说床很大并没有错，他们几乎没有互相占用空间，但知道马克斯就在身边，还是让查尔斯的心里感到各种翻腾。

Max had borrowed on of Charles’s shirts again, and watching him stand there in the middle of Charles’s bedroom in Charles’s clothes, looking all soft and sleepy, was seriously doing things to Charles’s brain that he didn’t really want to dwell on too much.
马克又借了查尔斯的一件衬衫，看到他站在查尔斯的卧室里，穿着查尔斯的衣服，显得柔软而困倦，这让查尔斯的脑海中产生了一些他不太想过多思考的念头。

Eventually he closes his eyes and wills himself to sleep. Next to him, Max snores quietly.
最终，他闭上眼睛，强迫自己入睡。在他旁边，马克轻轻地打着鼾。

Summer break passes by a lot faster than Charles had anticipated, and before he knows it him and Julie are on their flight back to Monaco. It had been fun, and relaxing, and he feels recharged to take on the rest of the season, but he can’t help but feel like maybe something was missing.
暑假过得比查尔斯预想的要快得多，没过多久，他和朱莉就乘坐航班返回摩纳哥。这个假期很有趣，也很放松，他感到充满了重新迎接接下来赛季的能量，但他不禁觉得似乎缺少了些什么。

Max and him had texted back and forth for most of the break, sending each other pictures and updates, and yet it hadn’t felt like enough. Charles kept wishing Max was there, with him, and all the pictures Max send him did was make him feel sad.
马克斯和他在假期的大部分时间里一直互发短信，发送彼此的照片和动态，但这似乎还不够。查尔斯一直希望马克斯能在身边，所有马克斯发给他的照片只让他感到难过。

He doesn’t even get the chance to see Max when they’re back in Monaco, because Max is already in the Netherlands to do some promotional stuff for the Dutch Grand Prix. And then in Zandvoort itself, all Charles manages to squeeze in is a quick hello and a ‘have a good race’, before they’re both swept up in their responsibilities again.
他甚至没有机会在他们回到摩纳哥时见到马克斯，因为马克斯已经在荷兰为荷兰大奖赛做一些宣传活动。然后在赞德沃特，查尔斯能挤出时间的也只是快速打个招呼和一句“祝你比赛顺利”，然后他们又被各自的责任卷走了。

So it’s almost a relief, when a few days later, Charles opens the door of his apartment to find Max standing there. “Hi,” Max says, and Charles can’t help it, lurches forward to pull him into a bone crushing hug.
所以几天后，当查尔斯打开公寓的门，发现马克斯站在那里时，几乎感到如释重负。“嗨，”马克斯说，查尔斯忍不住向前冲去，把他紧紧抱住，几乎要把他骨头都压碎。
“Hi,” he says, into the crook of Max’s neck. “Good to see you.”
“嗨，”他说，靠在马克斯的脖子上。“很高兴见到你。”
“You too,” Max says, and his smile is soft when Charles pulls back and lets him into the apartment.
“你也是，”马克斯说，当查尔斯退后一步，让他进公寓时，他的微笑显得温柔。

Julie is sitting in her play chair, and babbles excitedly when she spots Max, bouncing up and down and reaching her arms out for him. Max doesn’t hesitate for a second, and walks over to her, lifting her out of her chair and hugging her close. “Hi, Julie bug. Did you have a good break? I missed you.”
朱莉坐在她的玩具椅上，当她看到马克斯时兴奋地喃喃自语，跳来跳去，伸出手臂向他。马克斯毫不犹豫，走到她身边，把她从椅子上抱起来，紧紧拥抱着她。“嗨，朱莉小虫。你过得好吗？我想你了。”
“Hi!” Julie says, and Max whips his head around to look at Charles.
“嗨！”朱莉说，马克斯猛地转过头看向查尔斯。
“Did you hear that?” He says, awestruck look on his face.
“你听到了吗？”他满脸惊讶地说。
“Yeah,” Charles says, smiling fondly. “She’s been doing it for a while now.”
“是的，”查尔斯微笑着说，带着深情。“她已经这样做一段时间了。”
“Julie!” Max says excitedly, turning his attention back to her. “Your first word! I’m so proud of you!” Julie babbles incomprehensibly, but when Max holds up his hand, she slaps hers against it in the most heart meltingly adorable high five Charles has ever seen.
“朱莉！”马克兴奋地说，转过头来关注她。“你的第一个词！我为你感到骄傲！”朱莉喃喃自语，听不清楚，但当马克举起手时，她用自己的小手拍上去，做出了查尔斯见过的最让人心融化的可爱击掌。
“How was your break?” He asks, as Max puts Julie back in her play chair and moves to sit next to Charles on the couch.
“你的假期怎么样？”他问，马克斯把朱莉放回她的玩具椅上，然后走到沙发旁坐在查尔斯身边。
“Fun. Long. Glad to be back to racing,” Max says. “You?”
“有趣。漫长。很高兴能回到赛车中，”马克斯说。“你呢？”
“Same,” Charles says. “Feeling recharged and stuff. Which is good, with Monza coming up this weekend and all.”
“我也是，”查尔斯说。“感觉充满活力之类的。这很好，因为这个周末有蒙扎比赛。”
“Ah, yes, Monza,” Max says, “Hey, speaking off, how are you getting there?”
“啊，是的，蒙扎，”马克斯说，“嘿，顺便问一下，你怎么去那儿？”
“Car,” Charles says, watching Julie bounce around in her play chair. “It’s only a four hour drive and getting Julie on a plane is always an experience, plus I can take much more of her stuff if we’re going by car.”
“车，”查尔斯说，注视着朱莉在她的玩具椅上跳来跳去。“开车只需四个小时，而让朱莉上飞机总是一次经历，另外如果我们开车的话，我可以带更多她的东西。”

Max hums. “Hey, you can take my car if you want? I’m pretty sure it’s bigger than yours.”
马克哼着歌。“嘿，如果你想的话，可以用我的车？我很确定它比你的大。”
Charles snorts. “Is it, Max? Is yours bigger than mine?” When Max waggles his eyebrows, Charles laughs loudly. “But sure, I’d love to take your car.”
查尔斯哼了一声。“是吗，马克？你的比我的大吗？”当马克挑眉时，查尔斯大笑起来。“不过当然，我很乐意开你的车。”
“Cool,” Max says, excitedly, as he pulls out his phone. “I’ll let the team know I’m coming a day early. What time did you want to leave?”
“太酷了，”马克兴奋地说，拿出他的手机。“我会告诉团队我提前一天到。你想几点出发？”

Charles pauses. He hadn’t realized taking Max’s car meant taking Max, too. It makes sense, of course. It’s his car. Charles lets very few people drive his own cars. But it’s been weighing on him a bit, lately, how much Max does for him. How much he’s always helping out and how he’s basically getting nothing for it in return. But Max is already texting away, and he knows it’s impossible to change Max’s mind once he’s decided something, so he lets it go.
查尔斯停顿了一下。他没有意识到开马克斯的车意味着也要带上马克斯。当然，这很有道理。这是他的车。查尔斯很少让别人开自己的车。但最近，他一直在思考马克斯为他做了多少事情。他总是乐于助人，而他基本上没有得到任何回报。但马克斯已经在发信息了，他知道一旦马克斯下定决心，就不可能改变他的想法，所以他选择不再纠结。

Plus, it’ll be kind of nice to have Max there.
而且，有马克斯在那儿也会感觉不错。

Max has been playing ‘Baby Shark’ for half an hour straight at this point, much to Julie’s delight and Charles’s despair. Charles is seriously starting to regret getting into a car with. He groans and lets his head fall back against the back of the seat, making Max glance at him. He seems to notice Charles’s suffering, because he turns the volume down with a sheepish grin. “Sorry. I promise the song grows on you, after a while.”
马克斯已经连续播放《宝宝鲨鱼》半个小时了，这让朱莉感到高兴，而查尔斯则感到绝望。查尔斯开始真心后悔和马克斯一起上车。他呻吟着，把头靠在座椅的靠背上，马克斯朝他看了一眼。他似乎注意到了查尔斯的痛苦，因为他带着害羞的笑容把音量调低了。“对不起。我保证这首歌听久了会让你喜欢的。”
“Shak,” Julie insist, from the backseat. “Shak!”
“沙克，”朱莉在后座坚持道。“沙克！”
“No Baby Shark, honey, I’m sorry,” Max calls back to her. “I think your dad needs a little break.”
“没有小鲨鱼，亲爱的，我很抱歉，”马克回头对她说。“我想你爸爸需要休息一下。”
“Shak,” she says, glumly, and then starts banging her bunny plushie against the side of her car seat.
“沙克，”她沮丧地说，然后开始用她的兔子毛绒玩具撞击车座的侧面。
“It’s fine,” Charles says, “Sometimes I just wonder if I’m ever going to hear normal pop music again.”
“没关系，”查尔斯说，“有时候我只是想知道我是否还会再听到正常的流行音乐。”
“Oh, don’t worry, when she reaches her teen years and fangirls over her generation’s One Direction you’ll hear plenty of pop again,” Max says, with a grin on his face.
“哦，别担心，当她进入青春期，迷恋她这一代的单向乐队时，你会再次听到很多流行音乐，”马克斯笑着说。

Charles groans again and buries his face in his hands. “I don’t even want to think about that. Like she’s just a baby, can she just forever be a baby? I’m not ready for a teen.”
查尔斯再次呻吟，把脸埋在手中。“我甚至不想考虑这个。她就像个婴儿，她能永远是个婴儿吗？我还没准备好面对青春期。”

Max laughs. “Don’t worry, Charles, you’ll be fine,” he takes his hands off the gear shift and places it on Charles’s thigh, squeezing reassuringly before putting it back on the steering wheel.
马克斯笑了。“别担心，查尔斯，你会没事的，”他把手从换挡杆上移开，放在查尔斯的大腿上，安慰地握了一下，然后再把手放回方向盘上。

Charles’s brain short-circuits for a second, the place where Max’s hand has just been burning, and he doesn’t realize Max is still talking until he glances at Charles expectantly and Charles has to embarrassingly ask, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
查尔斯的脑海短暂地短路了一下，马克斯的手刚刚在他身上烫过的地方仍然在发热，他直到看到马克斯期待地看着自己才意识到马克斯还在说话，查尔斯不得不尴尬地问：“对不起，你刚才说什么？”
“I said, having known her as a baby, I don’t think you have anything to worry about when she becomes a teen. She’s like, the most well behaved child I’ve ever met.”
“我说，既然我从小就认识她，我认为你不必担心她长大后会变成青少年。她是我见过的最乖巧的孩子。”

Julie immediately contradicts this point by throwing her bunny plushie through the car, hitting Charles on the shoulder and sending Max into peals of laughter. “Alright, forget I said that,” he says, grinning.
朱莉立刻反驳了这一点，把她的兔子毛绒玩具扔过车去，正中查尔斯的肩膀，惹得马克哈哈大笑。“好吧，忘了我刚才说的，”他说，露出笑容。
“Julie,” Charles admonishes, leaning back in his seat to give her her plushie back.
“朱莉，”查尔斯警告道，向后靠在座位上，把她的毛绒玩具还给她。
"Shak,"Julie insists. “Shak.”
“沙克，”朱莉坚持道。“沙克。”
Charles sighs. “Fine. But just one time, okay?” He turns up the volume again and Julie babbles happily, Max laughing loudly again.
查尔斯叹了口气。“好吧。就一次，行吗？”他再次调高音量，朱莉高兴地喋喋不休，马克又大声笑了起来。

They end up listening to Baby Shark for the rest of the way there.
他们在去的路上一直听着《宝宝鲨》。

When they get to the paddock later that day, he lets Max take Julie for a walk, so he can catch up with Pierre, who is hanging out by the Alpine motor home
当天晚些时候，当他们到达围场时，他让马克斯带着朱莉去散步，这样他就可以和皮埃尔聊聊，皮埃尔正靠在阿尔卑斯房车旁
“How are you?” Pierre asks, as Charles slides up beside him. They’re leaning against the wall, looking out over the people walking by.
“你好吗？”皮埃尔问道，查尔斯滑到他身边。他们靠在墙上，望着路过的人们。
“I have a monster headache, mate,” Charles says, rubbing his temples. “Max played Julie ‘Baby Shark’ in the car and now she’s obsessed with it. Insisted on having us play it for the whole ride.”
“我头疼得厉害，伙计，”查尔斯说着，揉了揉太阳穴。“马克斯在车上给朱莉放了《小鲨鱼》，现在她对这首歌上了瘾。坚持要我们一路都放这首歌。”
“I’m sorry, what?” Pierre asks, looking genuinely confused.
“对不起，什么？”皮埃尔问，脸上露出真正的困惑。
“You know? ‘Baby Shark’? That song that is like,” Charles gestures his hands around a little, “Baby Shark, to do do do do do.”
“你知道吗？‘小鲨鱼’？那首歌就像，”查尔斯稍微挥动了一下手，“小鲨鱼，嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟。”

Pierre makes an impatient noise. “Yeah, I know Baby fucking Shark, Charles, I’m pretty sure everyone does. What I mean is why were you in a car with Max?”
皮埃尔不耐烦地发出声音。“是的，我知道《宝宝鲨鱼》，查尔斯，我敢肯定每个人都知道。我想问的是，你为什么和马克斯在一辆车里？”
“Hm? Oh, he offered me a ride,” Charles says, waving at Carlos as he walks by. “His car is bigger.”
“嗯？哦，他给我提供了搭车，”查尔斯一边说，一边向路过的卡洛斯挥手。“他的车更大。”
“Is it now,” Pierre says, sounding very unimpressed. “And since when do you spend time with Max? I thought he was like, your number one enemy?”
“现在是吗，”皮埃尔说，听起来非常不以为然。“你从什么时候开始和马克斯在一起的？我还以为他是你头号敌人呢？”
“Yeah, well, but then he turned out to be some kind of baby whisperer, so I decided it was in everyone’s best interest to change my mind,” Charles says, with a shrug. "Listen, he just helps me with Julie every now and then, and I think we’ve sort of become friends along the way?
“是啊，不过后来他竟然成了某种婴儿耳语者，所以我决定改变主意对大家都好，”查尔斯耸耸肩说。“听着，他只是偶尔帮我照顾朱莉，我觉得我们在这个过程中算是成了朋友？”

Pierre looks at him, long and hard. “Right,” he says. “Friends.”
皮埃尔长时间凝视着他。“对，”他说。“朋友。”
Charles glares at him. “Drop it, Pierre. There’s nothing going on between us.” He fiddles with the hem of his shirt as he says it, before glancing back at the paddock, not looking Pierre in the eyes.
查尔斯瞪着他。“放手，皮埃尔。我们之间没有任何事情。”他说这话时玩弄着衬衫的下摆，然后瞥了一眼马厩，没有直视皮埃尔的眼睛。
“But you want there to be,” Pierre says, looking at him knowingly.
“但你希望有这样的事情，”皮埃尔说，带着会意的目光看着他。
Charles sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Maybe? I don’t know. It’s all just a bit much right now. Just. Drop it, okay?”
查尔斯叹了口气，手穿过他的头发。“也许？我不知道。现在这一切都太过了。就。别提了，好吗？”

Pierre’s expression softens. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
皮埃尔的表情变得柔和。“我只是不想让你受伤。”
“I know,” Charles says, smiling a little tightly. “I won’t.”
“我知道，”查尔斯微微紧绷着笑着说。“我不会。”
“Won’t you?” Pierre says, but before Charles can answer that, Max reappears in front of them, carrying Julie, who is now wearing-
“你不会吗？”皮埃尔说，但在查尔斯能回答之前，马克斯再次出现在他们面前，抱着朱莉，而朱莉现在穿着——
“Absolutely not,” Charles says, as Pierre snorts. “Max, oh my god, I leave you alone for what, five minutes?! And you put her in that?!”
“绝对不行，”查尔斯说，皮埃尔嗤之以鼻。“马克，天哪，我就离开你五分钟？！你居然把她放在那种地方？！”
“What?” Max asks, adjusting the little baby sized Red Bull polo Julie is now wearing. “I think she looks cute.”
“什么？”马克斯问，调整着朱莉现在穿着的小婴儿尺寸的红牛 polo 衫。“我觉得她看起来很可爱。”
“Of course you do,” Charles says, burying his face in his hand. “Just. Get her out of that, before someone photographs her in it and Ferrari is all over my ass for dressing my daughter in the colors of the enemy.”
“当然你会这样想，”查尔斯说，脸埋在手中。“快把她从那件衣服里弄出来，免得有人拍到她穿着那样的衣服，法拉利就会因为我让女儿穿上敌人的颜色而追着我不放。”

Max goes to protest, but is interrupted by Pierre, who touches Charles’s arm to get his attention. “Listen, Charles, I got to leave but just. Be careful, yeah?”
马克斯去抗议，但被皮埃尔打断了，皮埃尔轻触查尔斯的手臂以引起他的注意。“听着，查尔斯，我得走了，但你要小心，明白吗？”

Charles deflates a little. “Yeah. Yeah, I will. Don’t worry about me.”
查尔斯稍微泄气了。“是的。是的，我会的。别担心我。”
Pierre laughs. “I always worry about you, you should know that by now. Bye Julie, bye Max,” he says, and then disappears inside of the Alpha Tauri motor home.
皮埃尔笑了。“我总是担心你，你应该知道这一点。再见，朱莉，再见，马克斯，”他说，然后消失在阿尔法·塔乌里的房车里。

Max frowns after him. “What was that about?”
马克斯皱着眉头看着他。“那是什么意思？”
“Hm?” Charles says. “Oh, nothing, don’t worry about it. Now please get my daughter out of that ghastly polo before someone catches us.”
“嗯？”查尔斯说。“哦，没什么，别担心。现在请把我女儿从那件可怕的马球服里弄出来，免得被人发现。”

Charles finally manages to get the last of the plates in the dishwasher, shutting it with a tired sigh, as he glances around the now empty kitchen. A few hours ago, it was the scene of Julie’s first birthday party, with a big cake and all of Charles’s friends and family, and way too many presents for one little girl alone.
查尔斯终于把最后一盘碗放进洗碗机，疲惫地叹了口气，关上了洗碗机，环顾四周这间现在空荡荡的厨房。几小时前，这里还是朱莉第一次生日派对的场景，桌上摆着一个大蛋糕，还有查尔斯的朋友和家人，以及为一个小女孩准备的太多礼物。

It’s only him now, left to clean up the mess. Well him, and-
现在只剩下他一个人，负责清理这个烂摊子。好吧，还有——
“There you go, Julie! Good job! Wait until your dad sees.” Max voice comes floating in from the living room, followed by Julie’s laughter. Charles follows the sound of their voices, leaning against the doorway as he watches them play on the rug. Max has managed to put most of the toys and presents that were scattered through the room away, and is now helping Julie build a block tower.
“你做得很好，朱莉！等你爸爸看到的时候会很高兴的。”马克斯的声音从客厅传来，紧接着是朱莉的笑声。查尔斯顺着他们的声音走去，靠在门口，看着他们在地毯上玩耍。马克斯已经把房间里散落的大部分玩具和礼物收拾好了，现在正在帮助朱莉搭建积木塔。

He’s suddenly reminded of the first time Max came over to his apartment, all those months ago, when Julie was much smaller and took great joy in knocking Max’s block towers down. Now she’s deep in concentration as she carefully places another block on top of her tower.
他突然想起几个月前马克斯第一次来他公寓的情景，那时朱莉还小得多，乐于把马克斯的积木塔推倒。现在她正全神贯注，小心翼翼地在自己的塔上放置另一块积木。

She’s just, she’s gotten so big, and Charles feels like it’s slipping through his fingers, like he’s constantly learning something new only for that thing not to be relevant any more.
她就是，她长得太快了，查尔斯感觉一切都在他指间溜走，仿佛他不断在学习新的东西，却又发现这些东西很快就不再相关。

Julie finishes her tower and Max cheers loudly, picking her up and lifting her in the air before settling her on his lap. “Good job, Julie bug,” he says, booping her little nose.
朱莉完成了她的塔，马克大声欢呼，抱起她，把她举到空中，然后把她放在自己的腿上。“干得好，朱莉小虫，”他说，轻轻戳了戳她的小鼻子。

Julie smiles, and then says something that breaks Charles’s heart in a way he hadn’t imagined was possible. “Dad,” she says, looking up at Max with big eyes. He can’t see Max’s face, but Julie must see something, because she repeats, more urgently, “Dad.”
朱莉微笑着，然后说了一句让查尔斯心碎的话，超出了他想象的可能性。“爸爸，”她抬头用大眼睛看着马克斯。虽然他看不见马克斯的脸，但朱莉一定看到了什么，因为她更加急切地重复道：“爸爸。”
“No, honey,” Max says, voice soft, and so, so gentle, like he always is with her. “No, honey, I’m not your dad. Charles is.”
“不是，亲爱的，”马克斯说，声音柔和，温柔得就像他对她一向的态度。“不是，亲爱的，我不是你的爸爸。查尔斯是。”
“Dad,” Julie insists, and Charles can’t help the sound he makes, causing Max to whip his head around and make eye contact with him.
“爸爸，”朱莉坚持道，查尔斯无法抑制自己发出的声音，这让马克迅速转过头来与他对视。
“Shit, Charles, I-” He starts.
“该死，查尔斯，我—”他开始说。
Charles cuts him off. “Don’t. I just. I need.” He turns around, abruptly, and disappears down the hallway, desperate to get away from the scene before he does something stupid, like cry. He finds himself standing in his laundry room, staring at the bottle of fabric softener on top of his washing machine, vision slowly blurring.
查尔斯打断了他。“别。我只是。我需要。”他突然转身，消失在走廊里，急切地想要远离这个场景，以免做出愚蠢的事情，比如哭泣。他发现自己站在洗衣房里，盯着洗衣机上那瓶柔顺剂，视线渐渐模糊。

It’s just. He knows he’s not great at this. He’s trying, really, but it’s clear he needs help like, all the time, hardly ever managing to deal with things alone. But his own daughter calling someone else dad? Yeah. Yeah, that fucking stings.
就是。他知道自己在这方面并不出色。他真的在努力，但显然他总是需要帮助，几乎从来无法独自应对事情。但他自己的女儿叫别人“爸爸”？是的。是的，那真是刺痛。

He can’t even be mad at Max for it, because Max hasn’t done anything wrong. If anything, he’s been absolutely perfect these past few months. It’s clearly him that’s the problem here. He’s not doing enough, he is not enough, and he’s failing his little girl, letting her down, before she’s even learned how to walk.
他甚至无法对马克感到生气，因为马克并没有做错任何事。如果说有什么的话，这几个月来他简直是完美无缺。显然，问题出在他自己身上。他做得不够，他不够好，他辜负了他的小女孩，让她失望，甚至在她还没学会走路之前。

He doesn’t realize how panicked his breathing has gotten until there’s suddenly a hand on his neck, thumb brushing against his cheek, another hand on his waist as Max’s blurry face comes into view. “Charles,” he says, but it sounds far away. “Charles, breathe.”
他没有意识到自己的呼吸有多么慌乱，直到突然有一只手放在他的脖子上，拇指轻轻擦过他的脸颊，另一只手放在他的腰上，马克模糊的脸渐渐出现在视线中。“查尔斯，”他说，但听起来很遥远。“查尔斯，深呼吸。”

He does, because Max hasn’t been wrong about anything so far, so he must be right about this, too. Slowly, the world comes back into view, his breath evening out, and he feels less like the ground is going to disappear from under his feet.
他是对的，因为到目前为止，马克斯没有错过任何事情，所以他在这件事上也一定是对的。慢慢地，世界重新出现在视野中，他的呼吸逐渐平稳，感觉脚下的地面不再像要消失一样。
“Hey,” Max says, softly, gentle, his thumb still stroking Charles’s jaw. “You okay?”
“嘿，”马克轻声说道，温柔地，他的拇指仍然轻抚着查尔斯的下巴。“你还好吗？”
“No,” Charles chokes out, letting himself fall forward so his head is leaning against Max’s chest. Max’s hand moves from his neck to his back, rubbing gentle circles there.
“不，”查尔斯哽咽着说，身体向前倾，头靠在马克的胸口。马克的手从他的脖子移到他的背上，轻柔地在那里摩擦着圆圈。
“If it helps,” Max says, leaning his chin on the top of Charles’s head. “I don’t think she knows what she’s saying, not really. It’s like, you know that lion plushie she has that she keeps calling ‘shak’? Even though we’ve pointed out to her what a real shark looks like? I just think, because I call you dad all the time, she’s just repeating a word she hears me say a lot back to me.”
“如果这有帮助，”马克说，俯下身把下巴搁在查尔斯的头顶上。“我觉得她并不知道自己在说什么，真的。就像你知道的，她有那个狮子毛绒玩具，她一直叫它‘鲨鱼’？尽管我们已经向她指出真正的鲨鱼是什么样子？我只是觉得，因为我一直叫你爸爸，她只是把我常说的一个词重复回给我。”
“I know that,” Charles says, against the fabric of Max’s shirt. “I think. I mean, that still hurt, to hear her say that, but, you know. It’s like how she calls every snack you put in front of her ‘nana’ regardless of if it’s a banana or not.” Max chuckles, which Charles feels more than he hears, his forehead still pressed against Max’s chest.
“我知道，”查尔斯说，脸贴在马克的衬衫上。“我想。我是说，听她这么说还是很痛，但，你知道。就像她把你放在她面前的每一种零食都叫做‘香蕉’，无论那是不是香蕉。”马克轻笑，查尔斯感受到的比听到的要多，他的额头仍然贴在马克的胸口。
“I just keep thinking.” He pauses. His hands have found their way to Max’s waist, somehow, and he grips the hem of Max’s shirt, desperate to cling on to something. “What if I’m just not cut out for this? What if I’m just a bad dad?” The words sound loud in the small room, in the intimacy of Max’s embrace.
“我一直在想。”他停顿了一下。他的手不知怎么地找到了马克斯的腰，紧紧抓住马克斯衬衫的下摆，渴望抓住些什么。“如果我根本不适合这个呢？如果我只是个糟糕的爸爸呢？”这些话在这个小房间里显得格外响亮，在马克斯的怀抱中显得格外亲密。

Max pulls back all of a sudden, forcing Charles to look at him. Charles makes a small noise at the loss of contact as Max’s hand finds his way back to Charles’s neck, squeezing lightly. “Listen to me, Charles, there is no one on this earth who loves Julie more than you do. You would do anything for her. And yeah, some days are going to be shit, and some days you’re going to feel like you’re doing everything wrong. But as long as at the end of the day Julie is happy, and save, and loved, no one can ever call you a bad dad.”
马克突然退后，迫使查尔斯看着他。查尔斯在失去接触时发出一声轻微的声音，马克的手又回到了查尔斯的脖子上，轻轻地握住。“听我说，查尔斯，这个世界上没有人比你更爱朱莉。你愿意为她做任何事。是的，有些日子会很糟糕，有些日子你会觉得自己做错了一切。但只要在一天结束时，朱莉快乐、安全、被爱，没有人能称你为坏爸爸。”
“She’s just so small,” Charles says, mostly to Max’s shoes. “And I’m all she has. And I’m so goddamn terrified that I’m just going to fuck up one day and she’s not going to be happy and save and loved and I could never live with myself if that happened.”
“她实在是太小了，”查尔斯说，主要是对着马克斯的鞋子。“而我就是她唯一的依靠。我真是太害怕了，害怕有一天我会搞砸，她不会快乐，不会被拯救和爱护，如果那样发生，我根本无法原谅自己。”

Charles looks up, and finds Max’s smiling softly at him. “I think that’s just called parenting, Charles. I would be more concerned if you weren’t worried about all that.”
查尔斯抬头，发现马克斯正温柔地对他微笑。“我想这就是所谓的养育，查尔斯。如果你不担心这些，我才会更担心。”

Charles sighs, and lets himself fall forward again, back into Max’s embrace. Max’s catches him effortlessly, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. For a second, Charles lets himself burry his face in Max’s shoulder, lets himself breathe in the soapy scent of his laundry detergent, lets himself be.
查尔斯叹了口气，再次向前倾倒，回到马克斯的怀抱中。马克斯轻松地接住了他，双臂环绕着他，将他拉得更近。片刻间，查尔斯让自己埋进马克斯的肩膀，深吸一口他洗衣粉的香味，任由自己沉浸在这一刻。

Then, suddenly, his head shoots up so fast he nearly breaks Max’s nose. “Wait, shit, where is Julie?” He asks, staring at Max with panicked eyes. He goes to sprint out the laundry room, but Max stops him, laughing a little.
然后，突然间，他的头猛地抬起，差点撞到马克斯的鼻子。“等一下，糟糕，朱莉在哪里？”他问，眼中流露出惊慌的神色。他准备冲出洗衣房，但马克斯笑着拦住了他。
“Charles, calm down, I put her in her crib for a bit. Figured we needed a little time to talk in private.” Charles visibly deflates at Max’s words, relieved, but also that same fear from earlier coming back again. But before he can send himself in another panic spiral, Max’s hand is on his shoulder, and he’s making direct eye contact with Charles. “Don’t,” he says. “You were panicking, and you left her with me, and you trust me with her, so you knew she
“查尔斯，冷静点，我把她放在婴儿床上了。我想我们需要一点时间私下谈谈。”查尔斯在马克斯的话语中明显松了一口气，感到宽慰，但早先的那种恐惧又回来了。但在他还没来得及再次陷入恐慌时，马克斯的手放在他的肩膀上，直视着查尔斯的眼睛。“别这样，”他说。“你当时很慌张，把她留给我，你信任我，所以你知道她会没事的。”
was never in danger, despite not knowing where exactly she was. Now, I’m going to go check on her, you’re going to take a moment to breathe, and then we’re going to go meet in the living room and watch another episode of The Witcher, yeah?”
她从来没有危险，尽管她不知道自己到底在哪里。现在，我要去看看她，你先深呼吸一下，然后我们去客厅再看一集《猎魔人》，好吗？”
“Yeah,” Charles says, nodding.
“是的，”查尔斯说，点了点头。
“Good.” Max says, and then heads for Julie’s bedroom.
“好。”马克斯说，然后朝朱莉的卧室走去。
“Wait,” Charles says. Max stops in the doorway, glancing back at him. “Thanks,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“等一下，”查尔斯说。马克在门口停下，回头看了他一眼。“谢谢，”他说，因为他不知道还能说些什么。

Max smiles softly. “Any time.” And then he’s gone, leaving Charles to slump back against the washing machine and take another deep, shuddering breath.
马克斯轻声微笑。“随时。”然后他就走了，留下查尔斯靠在洗衣机上，深深地、颤抖着吸了一口气。

After Julie it’s Max’s turn to celebrate his birthday, although his celebration has considerably less birthday cake and shaped balloons and a lot more booze and loud music. Charles is actually very excited to go, hasn’t been to a party, to a real party since, well. Since he got Julie.
在朱莉之后，轮到马克斯庆祝他的生日，尽管他的庆祝活动上生日蛋糕和造型气球少得多，却有更多的酒和喧闹的音乐。查尔斯其实非常兴奋去参加，已经很久没有去过派对，真正的派对，自从，嗯，自从他得到了朱莉。

He’s arranged everything, from the babysitter to the transportation to the outfit he’ll wear, except.
他安排了一切，从保姆到交通工具，再到他将要穿的衣服，除了。

Except Julie gets sick. Nothing bad, just a bit of a cold, but it’s enough that Charles doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her with a stranger, and so he has to stay home.
除了朱莉生病了。没什么大不了的，只是有点感冒，但这足以让查尔斯不放心把她留给陌生人，所以他不得不待在家里。
“It’s fine,” Max says, when Charles calls him with the bad news. He has to shout a little bit to be heard over the music, clearly already at the club. “I will just see you later.”
“没关系，”马克斯在查尔斯打来坏消息时说。他不得不大声一点才能在音乐声中被听到，显然他已经在俱乐部了。“我稍后再见你。”

Charles apologizes again, hangs up, and goes to change into sweatpants and a hoodie, expecting ‘later’ to mean the next day, or maybe even a few days from now.
查尔斯再次道歉，挂断电话，去换上运动裤和连帽衫，心里想着“稍后”可能意味着明天，或者甚至几天后。

Not three hours later. 不到三个小时后。
“Hi,” Max says, when Charles swings the door open at eleven pm. “I brought champagne,” he holds up a bottle, and then wanders past an utterly confused Charles into the apartment, taking off his shoes as he goes. “How’s Julie doing?”
“嗨，”当查尔斯在晚上十一点打开门时，马克斯说道。“我带来了香槟，”他举起一瓶，然后在完全困惑的查尔斯身边走进公寓，边走边脱掉鞋子。“朱莉怎么样？”
“Why are you here,” Charles says, blinking away his surprise as he slowly closes the door.
“你为什么在这里？”查尔斯一边眨眼驱散惊讶，一边慢慢关上门。
Max, who’d already disappeared down into the kitchen, pops his head back around the door. “Did you want a glass?” He asks, holding up the bottle again.
马克斯已经消失在厨房里，突然把头探出门外。“你想要一杯吗？”他问，手里再次举起那瓶酒。
“No,” Charles says, frowning at him now. “I want to know why you are here, and not at your probably elaborate over the top birthday party.”
“不，”查尔斯皱着眉头对他说。“我想知道你为什么在这里，而不是在你那可能奢华无比的生日派对上。”

Max shrugs, and disappears back into the kitchen, forcing Charles to go in after him. “Was worried about Julie,” he says, casually. “About you. I know what happened, last time she was sick,” he pauses, as they both cringe at the memory of Julie’s stomach bug. “So I wanted to
马克耸耸肩，消失回厨房，迫使查尔斯跟着他进去。“我担心朱莉，”他说，语气随意。“关于你。我知道上次她生病时发生了什么，”他停顿了一下，他们都因回忆起朱莉的肠胃病毒而感到不适。“所以我想要……”
make sure you were fine.” He’s rummaging through Charles’s cabinets in search of Champagne flutes.
确保你没事。”他正在查找查尔斯的橱柜，寻找香槟杯。
“Well, I’m fine,” Charles says, doing an awkward little ‘tada’ motion with his hands. “And so is Julie. She’s fast asleep and she has been for the past few hours, so I’m convinced she’s getting a lot better. So you can go back to your party now.”
“嗯，我很好，”查尔斯说，尴尬地做了个小小的‘哒哒’手势。“朱莉也很好。她正在酣睡，过去几个小时一直如此，所以我相信她正在好转。所以你可以回去参加你的派对了。”

It’s Max’s turn to frown now, turning around with a flute in each hand. “Listen, if you don’t actually want me here, you can just tell me.” He actually looks a little upset, and Charles sighs, running a hand through his hair.
现在轮到马克斯皱眉了，他手里各拿着一支长笛，转过身来。“听着，如果你真的不想让我在这里，你可以直接告诉我。”他看起来有点不高兴，查尔斯叹了口气，手插进头发里。
“I do,” he says. “I do want you here.” ‘I want you here all the time’, the thinks, ‘I want you to never leave again’. “I just don’t understand why you want to be here when there’s well. A party.”
“我愿意，”他说。“我确实想要你在这里。”他心里想着，“我想要你一直在这里，我希望你永远不要离开。” “我只是不明白你为什么想要在这里，明明有个派对。”

Max rolls his eyes. “I think you’re severely overselling the party. There was booze, there was music, there were people, it was like any other party, really. I had one of these last week and I have another one of these next week. They’re all the same.”
马克斯翻了个白眼。“我觉得你对派对的评价过于夸张了。那里有酒，有音乐，有人，真的就像其他任何派对一样。我上周参加了一个这样的派对，下周还有一个。它们都是一样的。”
“Yeah, but this one was your birthday,” Charles says, truly not understanding why Max is being so blasé about this. “People were there for you.”
“是啊，但这是你的生日，”查尔斯说，真的不明白为什么马克对此如此淡然。“人们是为了你而在那里的。”

Max snorts. “Nah, people were there to get drunk and hook up, maybe. Me having my birthday was just an excuse for them to do that. Seriously, Charles, stop overthinking this so much. I was there, I had my fun, and then I went here to see how you were doing. Now, are we going to drink champagne or what?”
马克嗤之以鼻。“不，人们只是想喝酒和约会，也许。我过生日只是他们借口而已。说真的，查尔斯，别想太多了。我在那里，玩得很开心，然后我来这里看看你怎么样。现在，我们是喝香槟还是怎么着？”

Over the course of the conversation Max has managed to pour Charles a glass, and hands it out to him now, and Charles takes it, sighing deeply. “I still think you should be at your own birthday party,” he says, as Max takes his own glass.
在谈话的过程中，马克斯成功地给查尔斯倒了一杯酒，现在把酒杯递给他，查尔斯接过酒杯，深深叹了口气。“我还是觉得你应该在自己的生日派对上，”他说，马克斯也拿起了自己的酒杯。

Max grins at him. “And I think I would rather be here,” he says, and he sounds so sincere, so honest, and Charles has to swallow past a lump in his throat as his glass clinks against Max’s. “To me,” Max says, smiling a little cheekily.
马克斯对他微笑。“我想我宁愿在这里，”他说，听起来如此真诚，如此诚实，查尔斯不得不咽下喉咙里的堵塞感，随着他的酒杯与马克斯的碰撞发出清脆的声响。“对我来说，”马克斯说，带着一点顽皮的微笑。

Charles laughs, shakes his head fondly. “To you,” he says, and takes a sip. “So,” he says, putting his glass on the counter, realizing that this is happening, and that he’s simply not going to talk Max out of this. “The Witcher?”
查尔斯笑了，亲切地摇摇头。“为了你，”他说着，喝了一口。“那么，”他说，放下酒杯，意识到这一切正在发生，而他根本无法说服马克斯放弃。“猎魔人？”
“The Witcher,” Max agrees, and heads towards the living room.
“猎魔人，”马克斯同意道，朝客厅走去。
(A few hours later they stumble to bed, together, because it’s late and they’re a bit drunk from the champagne and it would be stupid for Max to walk all the way back to his own apartment when he could just sleep here.
几个小时后，他们一起跌跌撞撞地上了床，因为已经很晚了，他们喝了些香槟，有点醉了。对于马克斯来说，走回自己公寓实在太傻，不如就睡在这里。

When they get under the covers, Max curls himself around Charles, wraps his arm around his waist and pulls him close, burying his face in the back of Charles’s neck, and Charles, tipsy and tired and so so so in love, lets himself have this, if only for just a moment, and snuggles back into Max’s warm body, eyes slowly slipping shut.)
当他们钻进被窝时，马克斯将自己蜷缩在查尔斯身边，手臂环绕着他的腰，将他拉得更近，脸埋在查尔斯的脖子后面，而查尔斯微醺、疲惫，心中充满爱意，任由自己享受这一刻，慢慢依偎进马克斯温暖的身体，眼睛缓缓闭上。

When Charles wakes, drowsy and groggy and confused, it’s to an arm slung over his waist and a face pressed into his neck. The night before comes back to him slowly, and then all at once.
当查尔斯醒来时，昏昏欲睡、迷迷糊糊、感到困惑，他发现一只手臂搭在他的腰上，脸庞紧贴着他的脖子。前一晚的记忆慢慢浮现，然后一下子涌现出来。

Max showing up at his door, them drinking champagne on the couch, crawling into bed together tipsy and giggly and falling asleep in each other arms, like this is just a thing they do, like they are in love.
马克斯出现在他的门口，他们在沙发上喝香槟，醉醺醺地咯咯笑着一起爬上床，依偎在彼此的怀里入睡，就像这只是他们的日常，就像他们相爱一样。

It’s like he crossed a line he promised himself he was never going to cross. He wasn’t going to do this. He wasn’t going to get too close, too attached, only to be left heartbroken when it was inevitably ripped from his grasp. He detaches himself from Max’s grip, quickly but quietly as not to wake him, and pads out into the hallway, leaning against the wall and letting out a deep breath.
就像他越过了自己承诺永远不会越过的界限。他不打算这样做。他不打算过于亲近，过于依赖，结果在不可避免地被撕扯离开时心碎。他从马克斯的握住中抽身，迅速而安静地，以免吵醒他，然后走到走廊里，靠在墙上，深深地呼出一口气。

He checks in on Julie, and when he finds her still peacefully asleep, he walks into the kitchen, getting the coffee machine going and pulling his phone out of his pocket.
他去查看朱莉，发现她仍然安静地睡着，于是走进厨房，启动咖啡机，并从口袋里拿出手机。

Pierre picks up after three rings. “What,” he says, voice groggy, like he only just woke up.
皮埃尔在响了三声后接起电话。“什么，”他说，声音迷糊，像是刚刚醒来。
“Max ditched his birthday party for me,” Charles says, in lieu of a greeting. “And then we cuddled in bed.”
“马克斯为了我放弃了他的生日派对，”查尔斯说，作为问候。“然后我们在床上拥抱在一起。”
“All right,” Pierre says, still sounding annoyed. “Congrats? What are you calling me for then. Go snuggle your man, or whatever.”
“好吧，”皮埃尔说，听起来仍然很恼火。“恭喜？那你叫我干什么。去抱抱你的男人，或者别的什么。”
“I,” Charles stares at the coffee machine, at the slow drip drip drip of the coffee. “I think it’s too late. To not get hurt, I mean. I think I’m already getting hurt.” His voice hitches.
“我，”查尔斯盯着咖啡机，听着咖啡缓慢的滴滴声。“我觉得已经太晚了。为了不受伤，我是说。我觉得我已经在受伤了。”他的声音哽咽。

When Pierre speaks again, the annoyance in his voice is gone, replaced by confusion. “I think I’m missing a step here,” he says, slowly.
当皮埃尔再次开口时，他的声音中不再有烦恼，取而代之的是困惑。“我觉得我漏掉了一个步骤，”他说，慢慢地。

Charles leans forward, his forehead falling against the kitchen cabinet with a ‘thunk’. 'I can’t drag him into this mess, Pierre. That’s not fair to him. I just. I take, and I take, and I take. And I don’t know what I’ll do if he stops giving. And I don’t think that’s fair, to him, either. He needs someone that gives back, you know?"
查尔斯向前倾身，额头重重地撞上厨房橱柜，发出“咚”的一声。“我不能把他拖进这个烂摊子，皮埃尔。这样对他不公平。我只是。我索取，索取，再索取。我不知道如果他停止给予我，我该怎么办。我觉得这对他也不公平。他需要一个能回馈的人，你知道吗？”

Pierre sighs. “Charles, I love you, but it’s 6 in the morning, I have a massive hangover, and you are making absolutely no sense. What happened?”
皮埃尔叹了口气。“查尔斯，我爱你，但现在是早上六点，我头痛得厉害，而你说的话完全没有意义。发生了什么？”
“He ditched his birthday party for me,” Charles repeats. “Because he was worried about Julie. And then a few weeks ago he came over because ‘my texts sounded stressed’ and there was the near panic attack I had on Julie’s birthday he talked me down from, and god Julie’s stomach bug. He’s just always there for me and I don’t know. I don’t know how to stop taking.”
“他为了我放弃了生日派对，”查尔斯重复道。“因为他担心朱莉。然后几周前他过来是因为‘我的短信听起来很紧张’，还有我在朱莉生日那天差点发作的恐慌发作，他帮我平静下来，还有天哪，朱莉的肠胃病毒。他总是陪在我身边，我不知道。我不知道该如何停止这种依赖。”

Pierre hums. “Who says Max doesn’t want to give, though?”
皮埃尔哼着歌。“谁说马克斯不想给予呢？”
“He does now,” Charles says, a little dejectedly. “But eventually he’s going to meet some pretty model who will give him his own kids and then what? Then it’s just me, and Julie, and the shattered pieces of my broken heart.”
“他现在是这样，”查尔斯有些沮丧地说。“但最终他会遇到一个漂亮的模特，给他生孩子，那我怎么办？那时候就只剩下我，朱莉，还有我破碎心灵的残片。”
“All right, that’s a little dramatic,” Pierre says, and sighs. “Listen, it sounds to me like you just need to talk to him, yeah? Just wait until he wakes up and see how he feels. I don’t know, he might surprise you.”
“好吧，这有点戏剧化，”皮埃尔说，叹了口气。“听着，我觉得你只需要和他说说话，对吧？等他醒来看看他的感受。我不知道，他可能会让你惊讶。”
“Right,” Charles says, righting himself again, “Right, yeah, I’ll do that.”
“对，”查尔斯说，重新调整自己的姿势，“对，没错，我会做到的。”
“Attaboy,” Pierre says. “Now, I’m going to go back to sleep. Let me know how it went later, yeah? You know. At a reasonable time.”
“好样的，”皮埃尔说。“现在，我要回去睡觉了。等会儿告诉我结果，行吗？你知道的，找个合适的时间。”
“I will. Thank you,” Charles says, and then Pierre hangs up.
“我会的。谢谢你，”查尔斯说，然后皮埃尔挂断了电话。
He hears a noise then, and when he looks up it’s Max, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Hey,” he says, smiling softly at him. “Sleep well?”
他听到一个声音，然后抬头一看，是马克斯，站在厨房的门口。“嘿，”他说，温柔地对他微笑。“睡得好吗？”
“Yeah,” Max says, rubbing at his eyes. “Woke up and couldn’t find you. You okay? Who was on the phone?”
“是啊，”马克斯说，揉了揉他的眼睛。“醒来后找不到你。你还好吗？电话里是谁？”
“I’m fine,” Charles says, “couldn’t sleep,” he lies, because even though they do need to talk, starting that talk off with ‘I woke up in your arms and panicked about it’ seems a bit too direct maybe. “And it was Pierre. I needed to uh, talk. To him.”
“我没事，”查尔斯说，“睡不着，”他撒谎，因为尽管他们确实需要谈谈，但以“我在你怀里醒来，感到有些慌乱”作为开场似乎有点太直接了。“还有，是皮埃尔。我需要，呃，和他谈谈。”

Max frowns. “At six in the morning?”
马克皱起眉头。“早上六点？”
“Yeah, it’s” he takes a deep breath. Turns to Max. “You know we are fine, right? Without you? Me and Julie?” Charles asks, grabbing a cup and filling it with coffee just to give his hands something to do. “You don’t have to come over like, all the time.”
“是的，”他深吸一口气，转向马克斯。“你知道我们没事，对吧？没有你？我和朱莉？”查尔斯问，抓起一个杯子，给它倒满咖啡，只是为了让自己的手有事可做。“你不必总是过来。”

When he glances back at Max, his expression is shuttered, unreadable. “Okay,” is all he says.
当他回头看向马克斯时，他的表情封闭，难以捉摸。“好吧，”他只说了这句话。
“I’m just saying,” Charles says, feeling the panic bubbling up in him again. “You know, when you eventually find someone to settle down with, you’re not going to like. Have time to come over all the time, so.”
“我只是想说，”查尔斯说，感到内心的恐慌再次涌上来。“你知道，当你最终找到一个可以安定下来的人时，你就不会有时间总是过来。”
“Right,” Max says, face still completely unreadable. It unnerves Charles, who’d gotten pretty good at reading Max’s facial expressions over the past few months. “Someone.”
“对，”马克斯说，脸上的表情依然完全无法捉摸。这让查尔斯感到不安，过去几个月他已经相当擅长解读马克斯的面部表情。“某个人。”
“Yeah!” Charles says, “Yeah, and you know. Maybe, eventually, I will find someone too.” ‘Unlikely’, he can’t help but think, ‘none of them will be you’. “And I’m just… I don’t want you to feel like you just have to be here all the time.”
“是啊！”查尔斯说，“是啊，你知道，也许最终我也会找到一个人。”他忍不住想，“不太可能，没一个会是你。” “而我只是……我不想让你觉得你必须一直待在这里。”

Max ‘hms’, says nothing. Charles takes a sip of his coffee just to give himself something to do and completely burns the roof of his mouth. Max barely reacts, too lost in thought. “I should go,” He eventually says, and turns to the bedroom, presumably to grab his stuff.
马克“嗯”，什么也没说。查尔斯喝了一口咖啡，只是为了给自己找点事做，结果烫到了上颚。马克几乎没有反应，沉浸在自己的思绪中。“我该走了，”他最终说，转向卧室，想必是去拿他的东西。
“Oh,” Charles says, “you don’t want to stay for breakfast?”
“哦，”查尔斯说，“你不想留下来吃早餐吗？”

Max’s eyes flash as he turns back around, and he seems angry now. Charles thought they were on the same page, but apparently not. “Clearly,” he says, “I am not wanted here. So no, I will not stay for breakfast.”
马克斯的眼睛闪烁着，他转过身来，似乎现在很生气。查尔斯以为他们意见一致，但显然并不是。“很明显，”他说，“我在这里不受欢迎。所以不，我不会留下来吃早餐。”

Charles wants to correct him. Wants to say he is always welcome here. Wants to say that if he wants to stay he can stay forever. But maybe it’s better, like this. Cut it off now, before they’re in too deep. Before it becomes a heartbreak he can’t come back from.
查尔斯想要纠正他。想要说他在这里永远受欢迎。想要说如果他想留下来，可以永远留下来。但也许这样更好。现在就结束，趁他们还没有陷得太深。趁这还没有变成他无法回头的心碎。

Max leaves without another word. Charles leans against the kitchen counter, takes another deep, shuddering breath, and then goes to check on Julie.
马克默默离开。查尔斯靠在厨房的台面上，深深地吸了一口气，颤抖着，然后去查看朱莉的情况。

The absolute worst part of it all is that Charles and Julie are fine. They get through the next few weeks without any serious struggles. Charles finds himself thinking he’s maybe, finally, gotten the hang of it. He gets Julie dressed in the mornings, feeds her breakfast, deals with the small temper tantrum she throws about having to wear shoes when they go outside, gets her back in bed in the evenings, and all things considered it’s pretty smooth sailing.
最糟糕的部分是查尔斯和朱莉都很好。他们在接下来的几周里没有遇到任何严重的困难。查尔斯发现自己可能终于掌握了这一切。他早上给朱莉穿衣服，喂她吃早餐，处理她在外出时因为要穿鞋而发的小脾气，晚上把她送回床上，综合来看，一切都进行得相当顺利。

He should be happier about that, probably.
他应该对此感到更快乐，可能。
Max is still there, he still seems him at races and around the paddock, but they don’t talk, don’t even really get near each other. They’re forced to, when both get on the podium in Qatar, but the second the Champagne spraying starts Max turns his back to Charles and focuses all his efforts on Checo. Charles gets out of there as fast as he’s allowed, after that.
马克斯仍然在那里，他在比赛和马厩附近仍然能看到查尔斯，但他们不交谈，甚至几乎不靠近对方。在卡塔尔的颁奖台上，他们被迫靠近，但香槟喷洒的那一刻，马克斯转过身去，专注于切科。查尔斯在被允许的情况下尽快离开那里。

He opts out of celebrating his birthday. Between the panic attack on Julie’s and the fight with Max on Max’s, he’s not had a great track record of them so far, so instead he falls down on his couch and settles in for a night of watching movies on Netflix. He stares at the The Witcher in the ‘Continue Watching’ category for way too long, and then switches to Hulu instead.
他选择不庆祝自己的生日。在朱莉的聚会上经历了恐慌发作，在马克斯的聚会上又与马克斯发生了争吵，他的生日记录并不理想，因此他倒在沙发上，准备在家里看一晚的 Netflix 电影。他盯着“继续观看”类别中的《猎魔人》看了太久，然后转而选择了 Hulu。

He brings Julie with him to Austin, and when Max spots them across the paddock, there’s a second where his eyes light up and a smile tugs at his lips, but then his face shutters again and he turns away, disappearing back into the crowd. Charles pretends very hard his heart doesn’t break at the sight, and turns back to Lando, who is still trying to teach Julie to say his name. Julie blatantly refuses, calling him ‘oge’ instead. Lando’s squawk of indignation when Charles explains to him that is how she pronounces ‘orange’ makes him feel a little less like he’s just going to start crying.
他带着朱莉来到奥斯丁，当马克斯在场地的另一边看到他们时，眼中闪过一丝光芒，嘴角露出微笑，但随即他的脸又变得冷漠，转身消失在人群中。查尔斯努力假装自己的心没有因为这一幕而破碎，转过身去面对兰多，后者仍在试图教朱莉怎么说他的名字。朱莉毫不客气地拒绝，反而叫他“oge”。当查尔斯向兰多解释这是她对“orange”的发音时，兰多愤怒的叫声让查尔斯感觉自己不那么想哭了。

When they’re back from Austin Charles has a few days off, and he mostly spends them hanging out with Julie and ignoring the urge to pick up his phone and call Max.
当他们从奥斯丁回来时，查尔斯有几天的假期，他大部分时间都和朱莉在一起，忽视着想要拿起手机给马克斯打电话的冲动。

He’s on the floor of his apartment, watching Julie pull herself up by the table, standing on wobbly legs, when it happens. She’s been doing it for a while now, and Charles lets her take it one day at a time, tries not to push her too much, but then all of a sudden she looks at Charles, concentration on her face, and takes a tentative step.
他正坐在公寓的地板上，看着朱莉靠着桌子站起来，腿有些不稳。这一幕发生在他眼前。朱莉已经这样做了一段时间，查尔斯让她一天一天地来，尽量不去逼她，但突然间，她看向查尔斯，脸上满是专注，迈出了小心翼翼的一步。

And then another, and another.
然后又一个，又一个。

And then suddenly she’s in Charles’s arms and Charles cheers loudly, pressing kisses all over her little face as she laughs loudly. “Julie,” he says, feeling so warm and happy and proud. “My little girl, I’m so proud of you. I wish Max could’ve seen that, he would’ve-” He cuts himself off, smile dropping of his face. He carefully places Julie back on the floor, and she looks at him with big eyes.
然后她突然被查尔斯抱住，查尔斯大声欢呼，亲吻着她的小脸，她笑得很开心。“朱莉，”他说，感到无比温暖、快乐和自豪。“我的小女孩，我为你感到骄傲。我希望马克斯能看到这一幕，他一定会——”他停住了，笑容从脸上消失。他小心翼翼地把朱莉放回地上，她用大眼睛看着他。
“Mak?” She asks, and she looks so excited, waving her arms around and glancing at the door, like Max can walk through any moment. “Mak?” She repeats again, a little more urgently, looking at Charles intently.
“马克？”她问，兴奋得挥舞着手臂，瞥向门口，仿佛马克随时都能走进来。“马克？”她再次重复，语气稍显急切，专注地看着查尔斯。

And fuck. He’s gone about this all wrong, hasn’t he? He’s been trying so hard not to let himself get too attached, not let Julie get too attached, and now here they are, one of Julie’s biggest milestones as a baby and they both just want Max.
该死。他真是搞错了，难道不是吗？他一直在努力不让自己太过依恋，不让朱莉太过依恋，而现在他们却在这里，朱莉作为婴儿的一个重要里程碑，而他们俩只想要马克斯。
“Fu-” He cuts himself off, corrects. “Fudge, okay. Okay, you know what, this is stupid. I’m being stupid. I can do something about this. I am going to do something about this, actually.”
“呃——”他打断了自己，纠正道。“好吧，行吧，你知道吗，这太傻了。我在犯傻。我可以对此做点什么。实际上，我会对此做点什么。”

Julie stares at him, utterly confused. “Mak?” She asks, and Charles can’t help but smile fondly at her.
朱莉盯着他，完全困惑。“马克？”她问，查尔斯忍不住对她微笑。
“Yeah, Julie,” he says, as he picks her up. “Let’s go get Max.”
“好吧，朱莉，”他说着，抱起她。“我们去找马克斯。”

He ends up dropping Julie at his mom’s for the time being, figuring this is a conversation him and Max need to have on their own. His mom sends him a knowing look, but says nothing as she takes Julie from him and stresses that she can stay as long as he needs her to. Charles squints at her, and then kisses Julie’s forehead before he’s out the door again.
他最终把朱莉暂时放在妈妈那里，觉得这是他和马克斯需要单独谈的话题。他妈妈给了他一个了然的眼神，但什么也没说，只是接过朱莉，强调她可以待多久都可以。查尔斯眯起眼睛看着她，然后在出门前亲吻了朱莉的额头。

He’s only been to Max’s apartment once, when they had to pick up some stuff before going back to Charles’s. It had just always been easier, to hang out at Charles’s apartment, with Julie around. All her stuff was there. The result is that Charles now feels like he’s intruding in a space he’s not allowed to be, as he knocks on the door.
他只去过马克斯的公寓一次，那次他们得去拿一些东西，然后再回查尔斯的地方。和朱莉在一起时，去查尔斯的公寓总是更方便，因为她的所有东西都在那里。结果是，查尔斯现在感觉自己像是在闯入一个不该进入的空间，他敲了敲门。

Max opens the door, and then almost immediately goes to close it again. “Please,” Charles says, his hand shooting out to stop him, “Please hear me out.”
马克斯打开门，几乎立刻又要关上它。“请，”查尔斯说，他的手伸出阻止他，“请听我说。”
“I thought you were done with me,” Max says, bitingly.
“我以为你已经不想理我了，”马克斯尖刻地说。
Charles flinches. “Listen, I deserve that, but just. I think I went about things a little wrong, and I think we got our wires crossed, and just. Can you just let me say what I came here to say? And then I’ll leave and we never have to talk again.”
查尔斯退缩了一下。“听着，我值得这样，但我想我处理事情的方式有点错了，我觉得我们之间有些误会。能不能让我说完我来这里想说的话？然后我会离开，我们就再也不需要谈论了。”

Max crosses his arms. “Fine. Talk.”
马克斯交叉着手臂。“好吧。说吧。”
“Right,” Charles says, fiddling with his hands a little. “Right, so, I mean. I wasn’t lying. When I said I didn’t need you. Turns out we are fine without you.”
“对，”查尔斯说，稍微摆弄了一下他的手。“对，我是说。我没有撒谎。当我说我不需要你时。结果我们没有你也没问题。”

Max’s expression falls. Completely crumbles. “Well, thanks, really glad you came over here to say that, I’ll-” Max snipes, but Charles cuts him off.
马克斯的表情垮掉了。完全崩溃。“好吧，真的谢谢你过来告诉我这个，我会——”马克斯冷嘲热讽，但查尔斯打断了他。
“No, fuck, I’m going about this all wrong, let me just. Let me just finish, okay?” When Max looks less like he’s going to slam the door in Charles’s face again, he continues. “I don’t need you, maybe. But I want you. I’ve done nothing these past few weeks but fucking miss you, all the time, and I thought it would be better, if I put some distance between us, that the heartbreak wouldn’t be so bad when you eventually left if I just left first, but guess what! That was already way too fucking late, and now I’m miserable.”
“不，见鬼，我完全搞错了，让我先说完，好吗？”当马克看起来不再像要把门砰地关在查尔斯脸上时，他继续说道：“我可能不需要你，但我想要你。这几周我什么都没做，就是他妈的想你，时时刻刻，我以为如果我在我们之间保持一些距离，等你最终离开时，心碎就不会那么糟糕，如果我先离开的话，但你猜怎么着！那已经太晚了，现在我很痛苦。”

He sighs, runs a hand through his hair. Max’s expression is unreadable. “Julie learned how to walk today,” he says, and there’s a second there, a tiny micro second that Charles only catches because he’s watching Max so intently, where the corner of Max’s mouth quirks up. “And the only person I wanted to tell was you. And then she said your name as well, and well. Fuck. I realized I’ve been so stupid about all of this. I just ran and I never gave you a choice, and so here I am, giving you a choice.”
他叹了口气，手穿过头发。马克斯的表情难以捉摸。“朱莉今天学会走路了，”他说，那里有一瞬间，微小的瞬间，查尔斯之所以能捕捉到，是因为他如此专注地看着马克斯，马克斯嘴角微微上扬。“而我想告诉的唯一一个人就是你。然后她也说了你的名字，真是的。该死。我意识到我在这一切上是多么愚蠢。我只是跑了，我从来没有给你选择，所以现在我在这里，给你一个选择。”

He takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you. Have been for a while, I think, actually, looking back on it. I’m in love with you, and I want you in my life, and I want you in Julie’s life, and if you, maybe, want that too then. Well. Here I am. I’m all yours, if you want me.”
他深吸一口气。“我爱你。我想，实际上，回想起来已经有一段时间了。我爱你，我希望你在我的生活中，我希望你在朱莉的生活中，如果你也想要这样的话。那么，好吧。我在这里。如果你想要我，我全是你的。”

There’s a second. There’s a second where Max just stares at him and Charles feels like the world is going to crumble under his feet, like the rug is going to be pulled out from under him and it’s all going to fall apart. But then Max lurches forward, determined and purposeful, and grabs Charles’s face in his hand, kissing him full on the mouth.
有那么一瞬间。马克斯只是盯着他，查尔斯感觉世界仿佛要在他脚下崩溃，像是地毯要被抽走，一切都要崩溃。但随后，马克斯向前倾身，坚定而果断，抓住查尔斯的脸，直接吻上了他的嘴。

Charles makes a surprised little noise but then melts into it immediately, grasping at Max’s shirt, trying to pull him closer, closer, closer. It’s a little desperate, a little frantic, neither of them quite believing that his is a thing that’s happening, and neither of them willing to pull away, terrified it’s going to slip out of their fingers the second they do.
查尔斯发出一声惊讶的小声，但随即便融入其中，抓住马克的衬衫，试图将他拉得更近、更近、更近。这有些绝望，有些疯狂，他们都不太相信这一切正在发生，也都不愿意退开，害怕一旦松手就会从指尖溜走。

They have to, eventually, gasping for breath but still clinging on to each other like they’re each other’s only life lines. “Should we maybe,” Max says, and his voice is rough and a little raspy, and so so so sexy, “should we maybe move inside?”
他们最终不得不这样，喘着气，但仍紧紧相拥，仿佛彼此是对方唯一的生命线。“我们要不要，”马克斯说，他的声音粗哑而略显沙哑，性感得令人心动，“我们要不要进屋里？”

It’s only then that Charles realizes they’re still standing in the doorway of Max’s apartment, and that anyone could just walk by and see them, and he nods quickly, walking past Max straight into his living room.
这时查尔斯才意识到他们仍然站在马克斯公寓的门口，任何人都可能路过看到他们，他迅速点了点头，径直走过马克斯走进了他的客厅。

Max follows him, and it’s a little awkward all of a sudden. Neither of them quite seems to know what to do next. “I should apologize, maybe,” Max says, and before Charles can protest, because for what, Max holds up his hand and continues. “I could have been more clear about my intentions, maybe. I just thought. You were so stressed with Julie already, and I figured me admitting I’ve actually been in love with you all these years probably wasn’t going to help with that, maybe.”
马克跟着他，突然之间有些尴尬。他们似乎都不知道接下来该做什么。“我应该道歉，也许，”马克说，在查尔斯还没来得及抗议之前，因为到底是为了什么，马克举起手继续说道。“我本可以更清楚地表达我的意图，也许。我只是想。你已经因为朱莉而感到如此压力，我想我承认我这些年来一直爱着你，可能不会对你有所帮助，也许。”
“Years?” Charles repeats, staring at Max with wide eyes.
“几年？”查尔斯重复道，瞪大眼睛看着马克斯。
Max smiles, but there’s a melancholic little edge to it. “I’m all in, Charles. If you say you want me, if you really want me, then you have me.”
马克斯微笑，但其中带着一丝忧伤的边缘。“我全心投入，查尔斯。如果你说你想要我，如果你真的想要我，那么我就是你的。”

Charles’s breath hitches, and he feels himself reaching forward, desperate to be closer to Max again. “I’m all in too,” he says, as his hand find Max’s waist and he pulls him closer, until their noses touch. “Are you sure?” He says, in the small space between them. “I mean, are you really sure? Me and Julie, we can be a lot. I can be a lot.”
查尔斯的呼吸急促，他感到自己向前倾去，渴望再次靠近马克斯。“我也全心投入，”他说，手找到马克斯的腰，将他拉得更近，直到他们的鼻子相触。“你确定吗？”他在他们之间的小空间里问。“我的意思是，你真的确定吗？我和朱莉，我们可能会很复杂。我可能会很复杂。”

Max snorts. “If nothing in the past few months has scared me off, I don’t think anything else will. Now stop worrying, will you? We’re having a moment.” And then he kisses Charles again.
马克斯哼了一声。“如果过去几个月没有让我退缩，我想其他的也不会。现在别再担心了，好吗？我们正在享受一个时刻。”然后他又吻了查尔斯。

Times will be hard, Charles can’t help but think, as he melts into the kiss. After all, times tend to do that, every now and then. But he thinks with Max by his side, he can handle them.
时光会很艰难，查尔斯忍不住这样想，当他沉浸在这个吻中。毕竟，时光总是会这样，时不时地。但他想，有马克在身边，他可以应对这些。

Max pulls away from the kiss and leans his forehead against Charles’s, and for a moment they just stand there, grinning widely at each other, the rest of the world forgotten.
马克斯从吻中退开，额头靠在查尔斯的额头上，片刻之间，他们就这样站着，彼此露出灿烂的笑容，周围的世界仿佛被遗忘。

Yeah, they’ll be alright.
是的，他们会没事的。
if you want to talk to me or yell at me or whatever you can find me on tumblr here 😃
如果你想和我聊天、对我大喊大叫，或者其他什么的，你可以在这里的 Tumblr 找到我 😃

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请到档案馆留言，让创作者知道您是否喜欢他们的作品！