Learning outcomes
学习成果

This lesson will support the achievement of Course Learning Outcomes 1, 2 and 7:
本课将支持实现课程学习成果 1、2 和 7：

demonstrate English language proficiency skills required to communicate and operate successfully at the FSAE Standard entry level;
展示在 FSAE 标准入门级成功沟通和操作所需的英语语言能力技能;

use the UNSWG-LMS to find and select appropriate learning resources in order to support learning objectives and complete FSAE Plus task requirements;
使用 UNSWG-LMS 查找和选择合适的学习资源，以支持学习目标并完成 FSAE Plus 任务要求;

demonstrate critical thinking skills by analysing ideas, evaluating alternative views, making criterion-based judgments, and searching for well-informed answers to self-generated questions.
通过分析想法、评估不同观点、做出基于标准的判断以及为自我生成的问题寻找明智的答案，展示批判性思维技能。

In this lesson learners will:
在本课程中，学习者将：

identify academic style conventions;
确定学术风格惯例;

recognise the difference between informal and academic language;
认识到非正式语言和学术语言之间的区别;

practise developing a higher vocabulary register.
练习发展更高的词汇量。

Learners should be able to:
学习者应该能够：

identify language components in an academic text;
识别学术文本中的语言成分;

produce simple academic sentences demonstrating an understanding of academic style conventions.
制作简单的学术句子，展示对学术风格惯例的理解。

Task 1: Comparing styles of writing
任务 1：比较写作风格

Read the texts and compare them by answering the following questions.
阅读文本并通过回答以下问题来比较它们。

Text A
文本 A

Text B
文本 B

Text C
文本 C

Developing an academic style
培养学术风格

Academic style refers to the expressions and conventions designed to communicate meaning about complex ideas within an academic context. Characteristics of academic style include:
学术风格是指旨在在学术背景下传达复杂思想含义的表达和惯例。学术风格的特点包括：

use of the third-person rather than first-person perspective
使用第三人称视角而不是第一人称视角

a formal tone through the use of higher register vocabulary
通过使用高音域词汇来营造正式的语气

complex ideas and abstract theories
复杂的思想和抽象的理论

a clear focus on the key issues with logical organisation
明确关注 Logical Organisation 的关键问题

concise explanation rather than long-winded description and figurative language
简洁的解释，而不是冗长的描述和比喻性的语言

clear, direct and unambiguous sentence structure
清晰、直接和明确的句子结构

Task 2: Understanding academic style conventions
任务 2：了解学术风格惯例

Go to Moodle and match the following academic style conventions with the reasons for each rule.
转到 Moodle 并将以下学术风格约定与每条规则的原因相匹配。

Task 3: Recognising academic style
任务 3：识别学术风格

Compare Sentences A and B and comment on the style of each. Which is more academic?
比较句子 A 和 B 并评论每个句子的风格。哪个更学术？

Make notes about the features and differences.
记下功能和差异。

Task 4: Improving academic style
任务 4：改进学术风格

Discuss the style of the following sentence. Rewrite the sentence to improve the academic style.
讨论以下句子的风格。重写句子以改善学术风格。

Task 5: Recognising academic style
任务 5：识别学术风格

Text 1 is the first draft of a descriptive paragraph on a television media channel. Comment on the academic style by referring to the academic style conventions and vocabulary.
文本 1 是电视媒体频道上描述性段落的初稿。通过参考学术风格惯例和词汇来评论学术风格。

Task 6: Recognising academic style
任务 6：识别学术风格

Text 2 is the rewritten second draft. What changes have been made in this version of the text?
文本 2 是重写的第二稿。这个版本的文本做了哪些改变？

Vocabulary range
词汇范围

Academic writing requires the use of higher register vocabulary. This means that the vocabulary must not be simple, casual, everyday words – it must be more concise, specific and formal in tone.
学术写作需要使用更高语域的词汇。这意味着词汇不能是简单、随意的日常用语——它必须在语气上更加简洁、具体和正式。

Task 7: Identifying poor academic style
任务 7：识别不良的学术风格

Underline examples of poor academic style in the following sentences and rewrite each sentence to improve the academic style.
在以下句子中为不良学术风格的例子加下划线，并重写每个句子以提高学术风格。

Consider the following:
请考虑以下事项：

Are there any informal words? What academic vocabulary could be used instead?
有没有非正式的词语？可以使用哪些学术词汇来代替？

Is the expression concise? Is there a shorter way to express the idea?
表达式简洁吗？有没有更短的方式来表达这个想法？

Are there any lists of examples that could be combined into a group?
是否有任何可以合并为一组的示例列表？

Does it contain sexist, idiomatic, emotive, or biased expressions?
它是否包含性别歧视、惯用语、情绪化或有偏见的表达？

The big problem with our news story is there’s not enough information to prove the story is true.
我们新闻报道的最大问题是没有足够的信息来证明这个故事是真实的。

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reading a lot about many countries can make us more aware of many other different cultures.
阅读大量有关许多国家的信息可以使我们更加了解许多其他不同的文化。

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and WeChat are used more and more to share and spread news.
Facebook、Twitter、Instagram 和微信越来越多地用于分享和传播新闻。

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The media is a double-edged sword and throughout history man has used it for good and bad.
媒体是一把双刃剑，纵观历史，人类一直在使用它来做善事和坏事。

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nowadays, you can see lots of news updates in your social media feed. That’s cool!
如今，您可以在社交媒体提要中看到很多新闻更新。很酷！

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Task 8: Writing objectively by removing ‘people’.
任务 8：通过删除“人”来客观地写作。

Read Appendix 1 which introduces ways to remove ‘people’ from your writing and therefore write more objectively.
阅读 附录 1 ，其中介绍了从你的写作中删除 “人物 ”的方法，从而更客观地写作。

Then, go to Moodle and rewrite the following sentences to remove the personal references.
然后，转到 Moodle 并重写以下句子以删除个人引用。

Many people become unemployed in a financial crisis.
许多人 在金融危机中 失业。

A large number of citizens think that wealth is more important than health.
大量 公民 认为财富比健康更重要。

We waste a lot of time on social media.
我们在 社交媒体上浪费了大量时间。

I think cycling is beneficial for health.
我认为 骑自行车对健康有益。

In my opinion, physical activity is important.
在 我 看来，体育活动很重要。

Task 9: Reflection
任务 9：反射

This lesson has explored the following academic style conventions:
本课探讨了以下学术风格惯例：

use of the third-person rather than first-person perspective
使用第三人称视角而不是第一人称视角

a formal tone through the use of higher register vocabulary
通过使用高音域词汇来营造正式的语气

complex ideas and abstract theories
复杂的思想和抽象的理论

a clear focus on the key issues with logical organisation
明确关注 Logical Organisation 的关键问题

concise explanation rather than long-winded description and figurative language
简洁的解释，而不是冗长的描述和比喻性的语言

clear, direct and unambiguous sentence structure
清晰、直接和明确的句子结构

Respond to the following questions:
回答以下问题：

Which academic style conventions do you need more practice with?
您需要更多练习哪些学术风格惯例？

How will you continue to practise and improve academic style?
您将如何继续实践和改进学术风格？

Extension task 扩展任务 Go to Moodle to complete this task and check your answers. 转到 Moodle 完成此任务并检查您的答案。 The sentences in this task do not follow appropriate academic conventions. Rewrite these sentences using appropriate academic style. 此任务中的句子未遵循适当的学术惯例。使用适当的学术风格重写这些句子。 Refer to the list of academic style conventions below: 请参阅下面的学术风格惯例列表： Never use contractions 切勿使用缩略语 Use more objectivity 使用更客观 Use nominalisation 使用名词化 Use words with higher register 使用高音域的单词 Use modality/hedging language 使用模态/对冲语言 Never use overly emotive language 切勿使用过于情绪化的语言 Task: Rewrite these sentences using appropriate academic style. 任务： 使用适当的学术风格重写这些句子。 Carbon emissions are damaging the environment a lot. 碳排放对环境造成了很大破坏。 I believe that lots of really good things can be learned from studying in another country. 我相信 在另一个国家学习可以学到很多真正好的东西。 Most people don’t care about the environment and aren’t aware of the problems. 大多数人不关心环境，也没有意识到问题。 The smartphone is an amazing invention that has many wonderful uses. 智能手机是一项了不起的发明，有许多奇妙的用途。 In my opinion, running, swimming and jogging are all really good for the health of your body and your mind. 在我看来，跑步、游泳和慢跑都 对您的 身 心健康非常有益。

HOMEWORK REMINDER
作业提醒

Go to Moodle, Unit 1.3 to see the homework. Do the pre-lesson task there before the next class.
转到 Moodle 第 1.3 单元查看家庭作业。 在下一节课之前在那里做课前任务。

Appendix 1: How to improve objectivity in academic writing
附录 1：如何提高学术写作的客观性

Academic writing is formal and uses the third person. Objectivity is the key to good academic writing. How can the word, ‘people', be avoided in academic writing? Try the following strategies:
学术写作是正式的，并使用 第三人称。客观性是优秀学术写作的关键。在学术写作中如何避免使用“人”这个词？请尝试以下策略：

Omit it, or leave it out
省略它，或者省略它

Sometimes the word, ‘people', can be omitted because it is obvious the writer is referring to people.
有时，“人”这个词可以省略，因为很明显作者指的是人。

Examples:
例子：

The ability to use the internet to communicate globally is very convenient for people
使用互联网进行全球通信的能力对人们来说非常方便.

The ability to use the internet to communicate globally is very convenient.
使用互联网进行全球通信的能力非常方便。

If using a passive verb, the ‘doer’ is optional, so can also be left out.
如果使用被动动词，则 'doer' 是可选的，因此也可以省略。

The information may have been deleted by someone on purpose.
这些信息可能是有人故意删除的。

The information may have been deliberately deleted.
这些信息可能已被故意删除。

2. Use a more specific word or extended noun group
2. 使用更具体的单词或扩展名词组

Try to be more precise about which people you are referring to. E.g. workers, managers, students.
尽量更准确地说明你指的是哪些人。例如工人、经理、学生。

Examples:
例子：

Some people like the internet for study, while others do not.
有些人 喜欢互联网学习，而另一些人则不喜欢。

Some students like the internet for study, while others do not.
一些学生喜欢上网学习，而另一些学生则不喜欢。

Some researchers like to use the internet for research purposes, while others do not.
一些研究人员喜欢将互联网用于研究目的，而另一些则不喜欢。

 Or leave out the reference to any particular group
或者省略对任何特定组的引用

Some like to use the internet for research purposes, while others do not.
有些人喜欢将互联网用于研究目的，而另一些则不喜欢。

3. Use a reference word or impersonal reference
3. 使用参考词或非个人参考

Examples:
例子：

People who are overweight may suffer from diet-related diseases.
超重的人可能患有与饮食相关的疾病。

Those who are overweight may suffer from diet-related diseases.
超重的人可能会患上与饮食有关的疾病。

Many people think smoking is harmful.
许多人 认为吸烟是有害的。

It is widely believed that smoking is harmful.
人们普遍认为吸烟是有害的。

4. Concentrate on the concept, issue or problem rather than the people involved
4. 专注于概念、问题或问题，而不是所涉及的人

Examples:
例子：

Therefore humans move less and become overweight
因此，人类运动减少并变得超重.

The key concepts are: move less and overweight. Change one or both into nouns.
关键概念是：少动和超重。将一个或两个都改为名词。

Therefore the lack of movement may cause obesity
因此，缺乏运动可能会导致肥胖.

People use technology in negative ways which can cause problems.
人们以消极的方式使用技术，这可能会导致问题。

The passive voice is often needed
经常需要被动语态

Problems can be caused by the negative use of technology.
问题可能是由技术的消极使用引起的。

Or, use the active form of the verb.
或者，使用动词的主动形式。

The negative use of technology can cause problems.
对技术的消极使用可能会导致问题。

Appendix 2: Academic style guide
附录 2：学术风格指南