reflections on solitude and superficiality
对孤独和肤浅的反思
Hey, 嘿
How long has it been since I last created a blog post? 3 or 4 months? It’s been a long time and it has also been exhausting, both mentally and physically.
距离我上次创建博客文章有多长时间了？3 个月还是 4 个月？这已经很长一段时间了，精神上和身体上都很累。
Honestly, when I thought about posting something here, I had an idea of what I wanted to write, that is, I knew what the topic would be, but I didn’t know when I would write it because I am mentally exhausted.
老实说，当我考虑在这里发布一些东西时，我对我想写什么有个想法，那就是我知道主题会是什么，但我不知道什么时候写，因为我精神上很疲惫。
Have you ever wished that people wouldn’t talk to you? Because the only thing I’ve been thinking and wishing for is exactly that… I don’t want people to talk to me, I don’t care who it is, passerby or close friend, I just don’t want to talk or respond, so it can take me anywhere from seconds to weeks to respond, and it’s not because something happened or because I’m “afk” temporarily, but because I don’t feel like opening the conversation, reading what you wrote, and responding… It seems bizarre, but it’s not social “burnout” or lack of social “battery,” I just don’t want to.
你有没有想过人们不要和你说话？因为我唯一一直在思考和希望的就是......我不想让人们和我说话，我不在乎是谁，路人还是亲密的朋友，我只是不想说话或回应，所以我可能需要几秒钟到几周的时间才能回应，这不是因为发生了什么事情或因为我暂时 “afk”，而是因为我不想打开对话， 阅读你写的内容，并做出回应......这看起来很奇怪，但这不是社交 “倦怠” 或缺乏社交 “电池”，我只是不想。
In some cases, it’s normal to see me disappear out of nowhere and then reappear after days, weeks, months, or years, randomly, and if you ask me why, my answer will be a simple “yes” or “because I want to,” and that’s it.
在某些情况下，看到我凭空消失，然后在几天、几周、几个月或几年后随机地重新出现是正常的，如果你问我为什么，我的回答会是一个简单的“是”或“因为我想”，就是这样。
I don’t see a reason to explain to people the reason for my actions, as long as that action doesn’t directly have something to do with third parties.
我看不出有什么理由向人们解释我行为的原因，只要该行为与第三方没有直接关系。
Now, changing the subject but still within the new topic:
现在，更改主题，但仍在新主题中：
Some time ago I mentioned that I left social media but left a personal bot forging and replicating posts I make elsewhere, like Telegram, and of course, I knew some people would end up messaging me on social media, but I simply said “fuck it, I don’t need to care about that,” and that’s what I did. But this week I logged into the social media where my bot was active, and the worst-case scenario happened: I was flooded with messages.
前段时间我提到我离开了社交媒体，但留下了一个个人机器人来伪造和复制我在其他地方发布的帖子，比如 Telegram，当然，我知道有些人最终会在社交媒体上给我发消息，但我只是说“去他妈的，我不需要关心那个”，这就是我所做的。但本周我登录了我的机器人处于活动状态的社交媒体，最坏的情况发生了：我被消息淹没了。
Bizarre that even without interacting with other people, they try to interact with me… You might think this is something only a “jerk” would do, but do you really think I care what people think about other people who post on social media like Instagram and Facebook? Seriously?
奇怪的是，即使不与其他人互动，他们也试图与我互动......你可能认为这是只有“混蛋”才会做的事情，但你真的认为我在乎人们如何看待在 Instagram 和 Facebook 等社交媒体上发帖的其他人吗？认真地？
These people cut out the parts they hate most about themselves to try to reach the standard of other people and then be happy because of likes on photos… Imagine needing others to validate what, how, or who you are. How bizarre.
这些人剪掉自己最讨厌的部分，试图达到别人的标准，然后因为照片上的点赞而快乐......想象一下，需要其他人验证您是什么、如何或是谁。多么奇怪。
Superficiality is in fashion.
肤浅是时尚。
Well, let’s talk more about what I’ve been doing in recent months, but to summarize, it would be: nothing.
好吧，让我们更多地谈谈我最近几个月一直在做的事情，但总而言之，那就是：什么都没有。
Yes, nothing… The only thing I’ve really been doing is gaining weight, programming small things, setting up new personal servers, and trying to reach a level of perfect solitude to be happier with my solitude than I already am.
是的，什么都没有......我唯一真正在做的事情是增加体重、编写小程序、设置新的个人服务器，并尝试达到完美的孤独水平，以便比现在更快乐地享受我的孤独。
“Yuri, why do you want to reach a level of happiness being solitary?” Because people are strange to me, really.
“尤里，你为什么想达到独处的幸福程度？”因为人们对我来说很陌生，真的。
I tried to get romantically involved with two girls in the last three months, and I remembered why I don’t try to get involved even as friends, let alone romantically… People have become so superficial and uncultured that they simply can’t understand what is good and what is bad, just as they can’t have a dialogue to solve the problems you/you are having and/or want to try to take/use/spend your money, as if you were the provider of that person.
在过去的三个月里，我试图和两个女孩谈恋爱，我想起了为什么我即使作为朋友也不尝试交往，更不用说浪漫了......人们变得如此肤浅和没有文化，以至于他们根本无法理解什么是好的，什么是坏的，就像他们无法进行对话来解决你/你遇到的问题和/或想尝试拿/使用/花你的钱一样，就好像你是那个人的提供者一样。
I’m a guy with old-fashioned culture, so yes, my worldview is more closed… I’m the kind of guy I usually call myself “Man Guy,” because I’m going to act like one; inside and outside the house, I’m going to play my role as a man… I’m the kind of guy with the culture of the old folks from the 20s/30s/40s, and I always make that very clear to the girls I end up getting involved with, and I’m also from the Right State (in case it’s different in your country, I’m part of the “conservatives”) and that already says a lot about most of the things you should imagine about who I am, but it’s worth saying that I’m conservative, but I respect your choices and opinions, as long as you don’t involve me in them and don’t try to impose them on me.
我是一个文化老派的人，所以是的，我的世界观更加封闭......我是那种我通常称自己为“Man Guy”的人，因为我要表现得像个男人;在房子里外，我要扮演我作为一个男人的角色......我是那种拥有 20 年代/30 年代/40 年代老年人文化的人，我总是向我最终参与的女孩们清楚地说明这一点，而且我也来自正确的州（如果你的国家不同，我是“保守派”的一员），这已经说明了你应该想象的关于我是谁的大部分事情。 但值得一提的是，我是保守的，但我尊重你的选择和意见，只要你不让我参与其中，也不要试图把它们强加给我。
So yes, I will provide everything for the girl who is with me, as long as she behaves like a woman who respects herself as such. You can’t demand something if you have nothing to offer, or if you have nothing equivalent to what you demand. This is one of the problems of society at the current romantic level, but another problem is when you are arguing/discussing and/or having many problems, and one of the parties keeps talking for a relevant amount of time about the problems they are having, what is wrong and saying to talk and solve, but the other party simply doesn’t want to have the dialogue… This ends any relationship, no matter the level or degree.
所以，是的，我会为和我在一起的女孩提供一切，只要她的行为举止像一个尊重自己的女人。如果你没有什么可以提供的，或者如果你没有与你所要求的相当的东西，你就不能要求什么。这是当前浪漫层面的社会问题之一，但另一个问题是当你在争论/讨论和/或有很多问题时，其中一方一直在谈论他们遇到的问题，出了什么问题，并说要谈和解决，但另一方就是不想进行对话......这将结束任何关系，无论级别或程度如何。
If you are friends and don’t talk about the differences you have, at some point, by refusing the premise so much, you will end up fighting and cutting off the friendship, and the same happens for romantic relationships… It’s no wonder that more and more I envy my grandfather who is also my father… He took care of my grandmother, never drank, never smoked, never disrespected her, always protected and provided everything she and the house needed, without questioning, without looking at other women and always focused on just getting and having a single woman who is his wife (my grandmother), just as I envy the woman my grandmother was and who was also my mother, for the woman she was/is.
如果你是朋友，不谈论你们的差异，在某些时候，由于如此拒绝这个前提，你们最终会打架并切断友谊，浪漫关系也会发生同样的情况......难怪我越来越羡慕我的爷爷，他也是我的爸爸......他照顾我的祖母，从不喝酒，从不抽烟，从不不尊重她，总是保护和提供她和房子所需的一切，不问问题，不看其他女人，总是专注于得到和拥有一个单身女人，她是他的妻子（我的祖母），就像我羡慕我的祖母曾经的女人，也是我的母亲一样， 对于她过去/现在的女人。
Honestly, I’m tired and fed up with all levels of relationships, from passerby to friendship or romantic; shallow people, with shallow opinions, with shallow conversations and idiocies they created for themselves.
老实说，我厌倦了各种层次的关系，从路人到友谊或浪漫;肤浅的人，肤浅的观点，肤浅的对话和他们为自己创造的愚蠢。
Today what I’m looking for is social distancing from all people… On a professional level, I keep the conversation only about the work environment, without putting my life in it, just as I only listen and forget what they say about personal life…
今天我正在寻找的是与所有人保持社交距离......在专业层面上，我只谈论工作环境，而不把我的生命投入其中，就像我只听而忘记他们对个人生活的看法一样......
Changing the subject again, I have increasingly embraced my unique and exclusive solitude because I feel good when I simply open my eyes and everything is calm, just as I feel good when I simply lie down and see everything calm too, and that my biggest concern is doing my job, eating and the rest is whatever I want, and that’s it.
再次换个话题，我越来越接受我独特而独特的孤独，因为当我简单地睁开眼睛，一切都很平静时，我感觉很好，就像我躺下看到一切都很平静时感觉很好，我最大的关心是做我的工作，吃饭，剩下的就是我想做什么， 就是这样。
Really? Try solitude, peace, and quiet.
真？尝试孤独、和平和安静。
I don’t have much more to say here… Actually, I wanted this to have just a few lines, but it’s already too long; I just wanted to say that I’m fine, living well, and continuing in the best way possible.
我在这里没有太多要说的了......实际上，我希望它只有几行，但它已经太长了;我只是想说，我很好，生活得很好，并以最好的方式继续。
Thanks! 谢谢！
Listen this epsode on Spotify or YouTube. Or email me if you want.
在 Spotify 或 YouTube 上收听此 epsode。或者如果你愿意，可以给我发电子邮件。