Chapter Text 章节正文
“Henry,” his sister is poking his cheek, trying to get his attention from where it is fixed on his porridge, “are you there?”
"亨利，"姐姐戳戳他的脸颊，试图把他的注意力从粥上吸引过来，"你在吗？"
He jolts, eyes darting to her face to see that she is smiling at him softly, head tilted to the side as she surveys him. He can’t help but smile back, a small one, but it seems to be enough. These days, it seems that she is the only one that knows how to bring a smile from him, no matter how small.
他猛地一惊，眼睛瞟向她的脸，看到她正温柔地对他微笑，头歪向一边打量着他。他情不自禁地回了一个微笑，虽然很小，但似乎已经足够了。这些天来，似乎只有她知道如何让他露出笑容，无论多么微小。
“Sorry. Lost in thought today.”
"对不起，我今天想事情想疯了" "Sorry.今天想不起来了。"
“You and me both.” She hums, but there is a pinch in her brow that Henry can’t quite figure out, “Gran called me for a private dinner last night.”
"你和我"她哼了一声，但眉头紧皱，让亨利摸不着头脑。"奶奶昨晚叫我去吃私人晚餐。"
“Oh?” "哦？"
“She has found me a husband.” She says idly, as though asking him to pass the butter, but her fingers are clenched around her glass, knuckles whitening.
"她给我找了个丈夫"她闲闲地说着，好像在请他递上黄油，但她的手指紧紧握住酒杯，指节泛白。
It is no secret that Bea has never wanted for a husband, always content to stay on her own. She likes things a certain way and has always insisted that a husband would only encroach on that. He understands her thought process entirely.
Bea 从不想要丈夫，总是满足于自己的生活，这已经不是什么秘密了。她喜欢按照自己的方式生活，并一直坚持认为丈夫只会破坏她的生活。他完全理解她的想法。
“Oh Bea.” His voice is warm and sympathetic as he entirely turns his body towards her, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder, “For when?”
"哦，碧。"他的声音温暖而富有同情心，他将身体完全转向她，用手臂搂住她的肩膀安慰她："什么时候？"
“She wants the wedding as soon as possible.” She chokes out, a single tear spilling from her eye, “She said twenty one is far too old for a lady of our ranking to be unwed. Said that she had given me time because of mum and dad but she has been patient enough.” Her voice cracks on the tail end of her sentence before she breaks into a fit of sobs, shoulders shaking as she tries to contain herself.
"她希望婚礼越快越好"她哽咽着说，眼角溢出一滴泪水，"她说，像我们这种级别的女士，未婚先孕到二十一岁太老了。她说，因为爸爸妈妈的缘故，她给了我一些时间，但她已经有足够的耐心了。话音刚落，她的声音就哽咽起来，肩膀不停地颤抖着，试图控制住自己。
“Oh, love.” He murmurs, leaning forward and fully wrapping his arms around her, tucking her face into his chest and allowing her to wholly sob in his arms, “I am so sorry.”
"哦，亲爱的。"他喃喃地说，身体前倾，双臂完全环抱住她，把她的脸掖进自己的胸膛，让她在自己的怀里尽情地啜泣，"我真的很抱歉。"
“I don’t know what to do, Hen.” She whispers, “I had so much planned. So much I wanted to do .”
"我不知道该怎么办，亨"她低声说："我计划了很多事我想做的事太多了"
He rubs small patterns into her back as she continues to sob, whispering comforting words every so often until her shoulders finally stop shaking and the sobs slow down until they are just hiccuping breaths.
在她不断啜泣的时候，他在她的背上揉出细小的花纹，时不时低声安慰几句，直到她的肩膀终于停止颤抖，啜泣声也慢慢减弱，直到只剩下打嗝的呼吸声。
“There she is,” He says as she pulls back, face entirely red and eyes sunken in with tears, “feel any better?”
"她来了，"他说，她退后一步，脸涨得通红，眼眶里噙满泪水，"感觉好些了吗？"
“No.” She says petulantly, though the side of her lips quirks up, reaching for a serviette and blowing her nose in it in such a way that he’s surprised their grandmother doesn’t come barging into the room to reprimand her, “Yes. I don’t know.”
"没有。"她娇气地说，不过嘴角微微上扬，伸手拿起餐巾纸擤鼻涕，那样子让他惊讶于他们的祖母没有闯进房间训斥她："是的，我不知道。"
“You could say no.” He says eventually when it seems as though Bea has nothing more to say.
"你可以拒绝"当碧似乎无话可说时，他最终说了这句话。
“What?” "什么？"
“Well, she can hardly force you to wed, Bea. What’s she going to do? Force you down the aisle with a knife in your back?”
"她不可能强迫你结婚的 碧她能怎么办？在你背后插把刀逼你走红毯吗？"
“I…” "I..."
“You know we have dad’s money. It would be enough to sustain us, without her help.”
"你知道我们有爸爸的钱没有她的帮助，我们也能维持生计"
“Us?” "我们？"
He can’t help but smile at the wide eyed look on her face, “You don’t think I would let you go alone, would you?”
看着她瞪大的眼睛，他不禁笑了起来："你不会以为我会让你一个人去吧？"
Her resounding smile is blinding as she throws herself at him, winding her arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tightly.
她绽放出灿烂的笑容，扑向他，用双臂紧紧搂住他的肩膀。
He comes to spend the next few years regretting these words, as they are the last thing he says to her before she disappears.
接下来的几年里，他一直在为这些话后悔，因为这是他在她失踪前对她说的最后一句话。
–
Time is a fickle thing, Henry has come to find in the years since his sister’s disappearance. The eighteen years he had by her side, following in her footsteps and wanting nothing more than to be just like her, went much faster than the three years without her, since she had disappeared in the dead of night without a trace.
时间是无常的，亨利在妹妹失踪后的这些年里发现了这一点。在她身边的 18 年，他追随着她的脚步，只想成为和她一样的人，但这比没有她的三年要快得多，因为她在夜深人静的时候消失得无影无踪。
Beatrice Mountchristen Windsor’s face was plastered on posters all over town on the eve of her twenty-first birthday.
Beatrice Mountchristen Windsor 的脸在她 21 岁生日前夕贴满了全城的海报。
It had been late by the time they had been certain she was truly missing, and not just out on one of her usual walks. Their grandmother had stormed the manor, slamming doors and screaming for attention, making the entire staff, as well as Henry bolt down the stairs, thinking she needed medical attention. She had Phillip in tow, clearly having dragged him from bed in his neighbouring home, judging by the way his hair was sticking up.
当他们确定她真的失踪了，而不是像往常一样出去散步时，天色已经很晚了。他们的祖母冲进庄园，摔门而出，大喊大叫，让所有的工作人员和亨利都以为她需要就医，赶紧跑下楼梯。她还拖着菲利普，从他头发翘起的样子来看，显然是把他从邻居家的床上拖了出来。
Her face was bright red, cheeks tracked with tears as she shrieked that her ‘ beloved Beatrice ’ had been stolen in the night by bandits. How she had reached that conclusion, Henry never found out, but she was adamant that this was the case and that posters would need to be distributed by morning.
她的脸涨得通红，脸颊上满是泪痕，尖叫着说她 "心爱的比阿特丽斯 "在夜里被强盗偷走了。亨利不知道她是怎么得出这个结论的，但她坚持说情况就是这样，而且需要在早上之前分发海报。
Henry walked the town in a daze the next morning, eyes drawn to every single poster of her with deep brown eyes, almost mournful as they stared back at him, paired with mousy brown hair that she always kept tucked behind her ears, a placid smile that didn’t reach her eyes on her lips. Her face followed him throughout town, no matter how far he walked, the soles of his feet throbbing by the time he passed a tree that didn’t have her face on it.
第二天一早，亨利迷迷糊糊地走在小镇上，目光被她的每一张海报吸引住了，深褐色的眼睛近乎哀伤地回望着他，配上她总是掖在耳后的棕色头发，嘴角挂着不达眼底的平和微笑。无论他走多远，她的脸都会跟随着他，当他经过一棵没有她的脸的树时，他的脚底就会感到阵阵刺痛。
That tree became his closest confidant for the day as he leaned against it, face buried in his knees as he sobbed, the noise echoing through the trees as they attempted to keep his secret. His sister was his closest confidant, the most important person in the world to him, especially since their parents had died many years prior. It had always been the two of them against the world and now…it was Henry and Henry alone.
那棵树成了他这一天最亲密的知己，他靠在树上，脸埋在膝盖里啜泣，声音在树丛中回荡，树试图保守他的秘密。他的姐姐是他最亲密的知己，是他在这个世界上最重要的人，尤其是在他们的父母去世多年之后。一直以来都是他们两个人对抗世界，而现在......只有亨利和亨利两个人了。
By morning, their grandmother had begun announcing to the town that she had been captured by bandits on her usual evening walk, that war needed to be waged against these ‘cretins to society’. Bandits had in fact become a larger problem as of late, with groups of them coming to town on a near monthly basis at this point. But nine times out of ten they would rob the bank and call it a day, or show up to the tavern and demand free drink and lodging for the evening before disappearing before the sun could fully rise and they could be chased out by the sheriffs.
到了早上，他们的祖母开始向镇上的人宣布，她在傍晚散步时被强盗抓走了，必须向这些 "社会渣滓 "开战。事实上，近来强盗问题越来越严重，几乎每个月都有一群强盗来到镇上。但他们十有八九会抢劫银行，然后收工，或者出现在酒馆里，要求免费酒水和晚上的住宿，然后在太阳完全升起之前消失，被治安官赶走。
Henry envied them, the freedom that they had. All they needed in life was a horse and a place to lay their head and the world was all in front of them. Sure, they were often thieves and murderers and God knows what else, but he had often wondered what it would be like to be one of them, to escape the small town he lived in and to be free .
亨利羡慕他们，羡慕他们拥有的自由。他们一生只需要一匹马和一个安身之处，世界就在他们眼前。当然，他们常常是小偷、杀人犯，天知道还有什么其他的，但他常常在想，如果能成为他们中的一员，逃离他生活的小镇，获得自由，那会是什么样子？
It turns out that he should have been careful what he wished for.
事实证明，他应该小心自己的愿望。
–
Something in the air feels wrong the moment he opens his eyes that morning. It’s his twenty-first birthday, just over three years since Bea had disappeared. It is supposed to be a day of joy and celebration yet all he wants to do is close his eyes again and pray for the darkness to take over.
那天早上，当他睁开眼睛的那一刻，感觉空气中有些不对劲。今天是他 21 岁的生日，距离碧失踪刚刚过去三年。这本该是一个充满欢乐和喜庆的日子，然而他只想再次闭上眼睛，祈求黑暗降临。
He has yet to go a single morning without Bea being the first thought on his mind when he wakes. Ten minutes after he first manages to peel his eyes open, he stretches his arms above his head until he feels a low pop in his back. Satisfied, he clambers out of bed, scratching at his stomach and running a hand through his hair.
他还没有哪天早上醒来时第一个想到的不是碧。在他勉强睁开眼睛十分钟后，他把胳膊伸到头顶上，直到感觉后背发出 "啪 "的一声低响。他满意地爬下床，抓抓肚子，用手捋捋头发。
The image of himself frowns back at him through the mirror, his hair a mess, his eyes sunken in and his face dim. It’s been a while since he has properly smiled, felt the dimples in his cheeks rise because of it. These days it feels easier to just keep his mouth in a straight line, especially towards his grandmother. He quickly washes his face, refusing to make eye contact with himself anymore as he dabs himself with a washcloth before tossing it back in the sink.
镜中的自己皱着眉头，头发乱糟糟的，眼睛深陷，脸色暗淡。他已经很久没有正经地笑过了，脸颊上的酒窝也因此而隆起。这些天来，他只觉得把嘴保持在一条直线上更容易些，尤其是对他的祖母。他迅速洗了把脸，一边用毛巾擦拭，一边把毛巾扔回水槽，拒绝再与自己有目光接触。
He dresses slowly, something that he can’t quite put a finger on burning in the back of his mind, begging to be listened to. Genuinely, he tries to do so as he dresses, but cannot understand what his mind is trying to tell him, to warn him about. If he had taken it a bit more seriously, perhaps he wouldn’t be in the situation he is in now.
他慢慢地穿上衣服，脑海中有一种难以名状的东西在燃烧，乞求被倾听。诚然，他在穿衣服时也在努力这样做，但他无法理解自己的大脑在试图告诉他什么，警告他什么。如果他再认真一点，也许就不会陷入现在的境地。
His grandmother is sitting at the dining room table when he arrives, Phillip steadfast at her side as he bites into a slice of toast - sans butter. She is sipping at a cup of tea, eyes locking on him the moment he steps into the room, her eyes raking him up and down disapprovingly.
他到达时，祖母正坐在餐桌旁，菲利普在她身旁坚定地咬着一片土司--没有涂黄油。她正在喝茶，在他踏进房间的那一刻，她的目光就锁定了他，不怀好意地上下打量着他。
“Do you have to always wear blue, Henry?” She says in lieu of greeting as he sits in the chair opposite of them, pulling his chair in, a scraping sound echoing in the dining hall that makes Phillip’s face curl in distaste.
"你一定要一直穿蓝色吗，亨利？"当他坐到他们对面的椅子上时，她没有打招呼，而是拉了拉椅子，"蹭蹭 "的声音在餐厅里回荡，让菲利普的脸不禁皱了起来。
“Sorry, gran.” Is all he can think to say as he reaches for the porcelain pot of tea, pouring himself a cup and adding a sugar cube.
"对不起，奶奶。"他只能这样说，一边伸手去拿瓷壶泡茶，给自己倒了一杯，又加了一块方糖。
He always hates the grandiose things that his grandmother litters the house with, because he has no doubts in his mind that the teapot sitting in the centre of the table costs more than half the town’s rent. There is no need for it, he thinks as he places it back down, lined with gold and with matching tea cups.
他总是讨厌祖母在家里摆放的那些华而不实的东西，因为他毫不怀疑桌子中央的茶壶比镇上一半的房租还贵。他一边想，一边把茶壶放回原处，茶壶上镶着金边，还有配套的茶杯。
Phillip is flipping through a newspaper, frowning at one of the headlines, “There’s rumours of another one of those gangs nearby. Apparently they were only up north just three days ago.”
菲利普正在翻阅报纸，皱着眉头看着其中一条头条新闻："有传言说附近又出现了一个黑帮。显然，他们三天前才到过北部。"
“ Bandits ,” Mary hisses, venom dripping from her tone, “Scum of the earth if you ask me. They have taken everything from us, Phillip. What else is left?”
"强盗，"玛丽嘶吼着，语气中流露出怨毒，"要我说，他们就是人渣。他们夺走了我们的一切，菲利普。还剩下什么？"
Henry wonders idly if they would like the teapot.
亨利闲暇时想，他们是否会喜欢这个茶壶呢？
“Perhaps we should up the patrol for the next few nights?”
"也许我们应该在接下来的几晚加强巡逻"
Mary scoffs, “We have enough, Phillip. They’re hardly going to take myself or Henry, are they?”
玛丽嘲笑道："我们已经够多了，菲利普。他们不会带走我和亨利吧？"
Henry would be so lucky.
亨利会很幸运的。
They fall into silence as Henry attempts to stomach an entire slice of toast and Phillip finishes his paper, handing it off to a servant before sharing a glance with their grandmother. Henry watches them carefully, hand clenching into a fist at his side. Nothing good ever came of that look shared between them.
他们陷入了沉默，亨利试图把一整片吐司吃下肚，菲利普则把报纸写完，交给仆人，然后和祖母对视一眼。亨利小心翼翼地看着他们，手紧紧地握成拳头。他们之间的对视从来没有带来过什么好结果。
“We wanted to talk to you this morning,” His grandmother starts, making a cool shudder run down his back, the voice in his brain now screaming at him to run , “with it being your twenty first birthday.”
"我们今天早上想和你谈谈，"他的祖母一开口，就让他的后背凉飕飕的，他脑子里的声音现在正尖叫着要他逃跑，"今天是你二十一岁的生日。"
“Thank you,” He says, though neither of them actually wished him a happy birthday.
"谢谢，"他说，虽然他们都没有真正祝他生日快乐。
“It is a big age, Henry.” Phillip finally pipes up as he brushes some crumbs from his face with a serviette, “An important one. You are now to be a representative of this family, like myself.”
"这是一个大时代，亨利。"菲利普终于开口了，他用餐巾纸拂去脸上的碎屑，"这是一个重要的时刻。你现在是这个家族的代表了，就像我一样。"
“On Phillip’s twenty-first birthday, he announced his engagement to Martha.”
"菲利普21岁生日那天 他宣布与玛莎订婚"
Henry is taking a sip of scalding tea as she speaks, her words rattling into his brain and making him choke a gasp, tea going down the wrong pipe and making him cough loudly, scrambling for a serviette to cover his mouth.
她说话的时候，亨利正在喝一口滚烫的茶，她的话刺入他的大脑，让他呛得喘不过气来，茶水顺着错误的管道流下，让他大声咳嗽，慌忙拿起餐巾纸捂住嘴巴。
“God, Henry, must you be so uncouth? It seems no matter how hard I try I cannot get manners into you.”
"天哪，亨利，你一定要这么没礼貌吗？看来不管我怎么努力 都无法让你懂礼貌了"
He resents this, quite highly if he’s honest. Henry is wonderfully polite, knows exactly which fork to use at dinner even if there is an unseemly amount before him. He has mentally spent twenty-one years at the Mary Mountchristen Windsor school of etiquette yet it seems she is reluctant to ever give him higher than a passing grade.
老实说，他对此非常反感。亨利非常有礼貌，即使面前的食物多得不像话，他也知道吃饭时该用哪把叉子。他在玛丽-蒙特克里斯汀-温莎礼仪学校学习了 21 年，但玛丽-蒙特克里斯汀-温莎似乎不愿给他打及格以上的分数。
“Sorry,” he wheezes, coughing once more into the tissue before flattening it on the table, taking another shaky sip of tea to try and ground himself, “you were saying?”
"对不起，"他喘着粗气，对着纸巾又咳了一声，然后把纸巾平放在桌子上，又颤抖着喝了一口茶，试图让自己镇定下来，"你刚才说什么？"
“Henry,” His grandmother’s voice grows cold, formal in a way he is well used to hearing from her, “we have let you wallow over Beatrice for long enough. We understand that you are upset, but we have duties to fulfil within this town. An image to upkeep. You understand this, don’t you?”
"亨利，"祖母的声音变得冷漠，以一种他已经听惯了的方式正式说道，"我们已经让你沉湎于比阿特丽斯的事情很久了。我们知道你很难过，但我们在这个小镇上还有职责要履行。我们要维护自己的形象。你明白这一点吧？"
He nods, throat tightening at her words as he finds himself unable to speak. Another gulp of tea washes down his throat, hand shaking and cup clinking against the saucer as he tries to quietly place it down.
他点点头，喉咙因她的话而发紧，发现自己说不出话来。他又喝了一大口茶，手在颤抖，茶杯和茶托碰得叮当作响，他试图安静地放下茶杯。
“With that…here.” She pulls a newspaper up from seemingly nowhere, sliding it across the table to him, “This will run tomorrow morning.”
"有了这个......给。"她不知道从哪里拿出一张报纸，递给他："这将在明天早上刊登。"
He grabs it with trembling hands, pointer finger running down the headline and freezing at the photograph of himself, lips in a familiar straight line as he stares at the camera, not a single spark behind his eyes, dulled by the black and white hue of the photo.
他用颤抖的手抓起照片，食指顺着标题向下划动，定格在自己的照片上，嘴唇呈熟悉的直线，盯着镜头，眼底没有一丝火花，被照片的黑白色调掩盖得黯淡无光。
The headline is what gives him pause.
标题让他感到不安。
Youngest son of Mountchristen Windsor family to marry eldest Hampton daughter.
Mountchristen Windsor 家族最小的儿子娶了 Hampton 家族的长女。
Directly beside his own is a photograph of Jessica Hampton, a girl he knows next to nothing about other than her name and the fact that she is a woman roughly his age.
在他自己的照片旁边是杰西卡-汉普顿的照片，他对这个女孩几乎一无所知，只知道她叫杰西卡-汉普顿，是一个和他年龄相仿的女人。
“What?” Every ounce of breath in his chest escapes him with that word, his lungs burning as they struggle to take in enough air to breathe, “I… what ?”
"什么？"他胸中的每一丝气息都随着这个词漏出，他的肺部因努力吸入足够的空气而燃烧起来。"我......什么？"
“Henry,” Phillip is frowning across the table at him, “we have let you go on as you are for long enough. We have duties. If anything we should have done this at your eighteenth birthday but withheld because of…the situation.”
"亨利，"菲利普隔着桌子皱着眉头对他说，"我们已经让你这样下去够久了。我们有责任。如果说我们应该在你十八岁生日时做这件事，但因为......当时的情况而暂缓了。"
He feels like he’s drowning, gasping for air and begging for someone to save him as his family look at him with thinly veiled derision, happy to let him struggle beneath the surface until he can’t struggle any longer.
他感觉自己快要溺水了，大口大口地喘着气，乞求别人来救他，而他的家人则用含蓄的嘲笑看着他，乐得让他在水面下挣扎，直到他再也挣扎不下去为止。
“The situation?” He laughs darkly, not entirely sure where the confidence to speak back is coming from, “Is that what we call her now?”
"情况？"他暗暗发笑，完全不知道哪来的自信回嘴："我们现在是这么称呼她的吗？"
“Henry-” 亨利
“No.” He interrupts his grandmother, a slightly giddy feeling running through him at the utterly shocked look on her face, “Just because her disappearance was convenient for you doesn’t mean that it meant nothing. That she means nothing-”
"不。"他打断了祖母的话，看着祖母一脸震惊的表情，他有种眩晕的感觉。"她的失踪对你来说很方便，但这并不意味着什么都没有。她意味着什么--"
“How dare you?” Mary shrieks, slamming a palm on the table, making the silverware rattle, “I was distraught .”
"你怎么敢？"玛丽尖叫着一掌拍在桌子上 银器发出哗啦哗啦的响声 "我当时心都碎了"
Was. 曾经是
“Please. She refused to marry. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got rid of her yourself.” The words fly from his lips before he can stop them and he immediately clamps them shut at the look on his grandmother’s face.
"求你了她拒绝结婚如果是你自己把她赶走的，我一点也不惊讶。"他话音未落，就被祖母的表情吓得立刻闭上了嘴。
She pales instantly, fingers digging into the table top and her brow furrowing in a way that makes his knees knock together. He fears he may have just awoken the beast.
她立刻脸色苍白，手指抠进桌面，眉头紧皱，让他的膝盖磕在一起。他担心自己刚刚唤醒了野兽。
“Henry!” Phillip’s tone leaves no room for negotiation, his face turning a new purplish hue as spittle flies from his lips, “Go to your room.”
"亨利！"菲利普的语气没有任何商量的余地，他的脸变成了新的紫红色，唾沫星子从他的嘴里飞溅出来："回你的房间去。"
“I am not a child-”
"我不是孩子......"
“Go!” He roars, standing and pointing a threatening finger in Henry’s face.
"滚！"他怒吼着站起来，用威胁的手指着亨利的脸。
So he goes without protest.
所以他没有抗议就走了。
His hands tremble as they hold onto the bannister, slowly ascending the stairs. Dozens of pairs of eyes follow him as he goes, the staff obviously having heard the entire interaction through the open dining room doors. He refuses to feel shame, though he can’t help but feel like a young boy being scolded and sent to the corner to think about what he has done.
他的手颤抖着扶着栏杆，慢慢地走上楼梯。几十双眼睛跟随着他的脚步，工作人员显然已经透过敞开的餐厅大门听到了整个互动过程。他拒绝感到羞愧，尽管他不禁觉得自己就像一个被训斥的小男孩，被送到角落里去思考自己的所作所为。
The idea that his grandmother had something to do with Bea’s disappearance was something that had crossed his mind from time to time, but never something he actually dwelled on. He didn’t truly believe it; while Mary could be a witch at times, he didn’t believe that she could be capable of such a thing…could she?
他时不时地会想到祖母与碧的失踪有关，但从来没有仔细想过。他并不真的相信；虽然玛丽有时可能是个女巫，但他不相信她能做出这种事......她能吗？
His bedroom door slams behind him as he stalks over to his window, yanking it open and sticking his head out, letting the cool morning air wash over him. He breathes slowly, in and out, trying to ground himself enough to allow his mind to stop spinning. His eyes focus on a mountain in the distance, using that to let his mind go quiet, thinking of nothing else but the mountain.
当他走到窗前，一把拉开窗户，把头伸出窗外，让清晨凉爽的空气拂过他的脸庞时，卧室的门在他身后砰地关上了。他慢慢地吸气、呼气，试图让自己脚踏实地，让思绪停止转动。他的眼睛注视着远处的一座山，借此让自己的思绪安静下来，除了那座山，什么也不想。
Then he can’t help but wonder what’s beyond the mountain, what kind of lives people live outside of the small town he has found himself essentially trapped in. He has heard stories from passers through of massive cities, bustling with people and creativity and music . He can’t remember the last time he had heard music that wasn’t hushed or passed around a campfire.
然后，他不禁想知道山外有什么，他发现自己被困在这个小镇之外的人们过着什么样的生活。他从路人那里听说过大城市的故事，熙熙攘攘的人群、创意和音乐......。他已经不记得自己上一次听到音乐是什么时候的事了，要么是低沉的，要么是在篝火旁传来传去的。
His mother had loved to sing melodious harmonies that the children would attempt to join in on before falling silent, content to let her voice wash over them. Their father had loved it, always saying a happy home was one filled with love, laughter and song. None of these things have breached the walls of the manor in years.
他的母亲喜欢唱悠扬的和声，孩子们会试图加入其中，然后沉默不语，任由母亲的歌声荡漾在他们心间。他们的父亲也很喜欢，他总是说，充满爱、欢笑和歌声的家才是幸福的家。多年来，庄园的墙壁上从未出现过这些东西。
He wonders if in these big cities, if people sing, if people laugh and spend time outside of their homes. He wonders if they are able to marry who they want, rather than who their family assigns them to. It’s a life he wishes he could live but, alas, it is not the life for Henry Mountchristen Windsor.
他想知道，在这些大城市里，人们是否会唱歌，是否会欢笑，是否会走出家门共度时光。他想知道，他们是否能够嫁给自己想要的人，而不是家庭指定的人。他希望自己能过上这样的生活，但遗憾的是，这不是亨利-蒙特克里斯汀-温莎的生活。
He does not leave his room for the rest of the morning, and no one comes to check on him.
整个上午他都没有离开房间，也没有人来看望他。
–
The thing about Jessica Hampton is, she is perfectly lovely. She is six months his junior, with deep brown hair and bright green eyes. Her skin is smooth and toned, her smile wide and genuine and her laugh is soft like a bell, echoing around any room she walks into.
杰西卡-汉普顿的特点是非常可爱。她比他小六个月，深棕色的头发，明亮的绿眼睛。她的皮肤光滑匀称，笑容灿烂真诚，笑声轻柔如铃，在她走过的任何房间里回荡。
Despite this, Henry does not feel an inkling of romantic attraction towards her. It is something he has struggled with for much of his life, feeling positively broken every time he is faced with a woman and tries to force himself to make his heart beat faster, his palms sweat.
尽管如此，亨利对她却没有一丝浪漫的吸引力。这是他一生中一直苦苦挣扎的问题，每次面对一个女人，他都会感到心碎，并试图强迫自己让心跳加速、手心出汗。
Nothing ever happens. 什么都没发生过。
Currently, she is beaming at him over a cup of tea, eyebrow quirked as she speaks, head tilted to the side in a way he knows is supposed to be endearing, yet he once again feels nothing. Not so much as a tugging in his chest or a warmth in his stomach. It is as though he is speaking with a colleague rather than a paramour.
现在，她正端着一杯茶对他笑，说话时眉毛弯弯，头歪向一边，他知道这应该是一种惹人喜爱的方式，但他又一次什么感觉也没有。他的胸口没有一丝牵动，胃里也没有一丝暖意。就好像他是在和同事而不是姘妇说话。
It makes him wonder that if he can’t feel these things with someone as perfect and wonderful as Jessica Hampton, who the hell could he ever feel them for?
这让他不禁想，如果和杰西卡-汉普顿这样完美出色的人在一起都无法感受到这些，那他还能为谁感受到这些呢？
Phillip had come banging on his door around tea time, explaining he was to meet Jessica and discuss their engagement before the papers announce it in the morning. His face is monotone and his tone leaves absolutely no room for argument and Henry, too exhausted and dehydrated from crying, does not have it in him to argue any longer.
下午茶时间，菲利普来敲他的门，说是要见杰西卡，在明天早上报纸宣布他们订婚之前讨论一下。他的表情很单调，语气也完全没有争辩的余地，而亨利已经哭得精疲力竭、脱水严重，根本没有力气再争辩下去。
He travels by foot to her home, nodding politely at those he passes on the way, hands deep in his pockets. Her home is not dissimilar to his own, a large, looming manor overlooking the town, wiry gates keeping it separate from the public and dozens of staff roaming the grounds, both inside and out.
他步行前往她家，一路上礼貌地向路过的人点头致意，双手插在口袋里。她的家与他自己的家并无二致，都是一座高耸入云的大庄园，俯瞰着整个小镇，毛茸茸的大门将庄园与公众隔离开来，几十名工作人员在院子里里外外巡视。
Jessica had greeted him with a large hug, squeezing him tightly before they pulled apart, pecking him on the cheek. He can’t bring himself to return the gesture but he does manage a small smile as she leads him to the dining room, almost a carbon copy of the one in his own manor.
杰西卡给了他一个大大的拥抱，在他们分开之前紧紧地拥抱了他，并在他的脸颊上啄了一下。他无法回礼，但当她带他来到餐厅时，他还是微微一笑，餐厅几乎是他自己庄园里餐厅的翻版。
“I have always wanted a big wedding,” Jessica admits, tracing a fingertip along the rim of her teacup, “Big white dress, massive wedding party, my father walking me down the aisle.”
"我一直想要一个盛大的婚礼，"杰西卡承认，她用指尖在茶杯边缘划了一下，"白色的大礼服，庞大的婚礼队伍，我父亲陪我走过红地毯"。
Henry hums noncommittal in response, and her face pinches slightly. She sighs, placing her tea cup down and reaching across the table to cover his trembling hand with her own. Her hand is warm in his, almost comforting if he tries hard enough.
亨利不置可否地哼了一声，她的脸微微发烫。她叹了口气，放下茶杯，伸过桌子，用自己的手捂住他颤抖的手。她的手很温暖，如果他足够努力，几乎可以得到安慰。
“Look,” She says, her voice slow as though speaking with a child, “I know this may not have been your first choice but…I think we could make each other happy, Henry. Don’t you?”
"听着，"她说，声音缓慢，仿佛在跟孩子说话，"我知道这可能不是你的第一选择，但是......我觉得我们可以让彼此幸福，亨利。你觉得呢？"
No , his mind screams. He knows that even if they were to live a hundred lifetimes by each other’s sides, he could never feel anything more than a kinship towards her. What he can’t figure out is why he can’t, what is so wrong with him that he can’t bring himself to feel anything for this wonderful woman?
不，他的内心在呐喊。他知道，即使他们相依为命一百世，他对她的感觉也不会超过亲情。他想不明白的是，为什么他做不到，他到底出了什么问题，让他无法对这个美妙的女人产生任何感情？
“Of course.” He lies smoothly, able to force a pinched smile, “It has just been a hectic day is all. I am sorry if I have offended you in any way.”
"当然。"他顺口撒谎，勉强挤出一丝笑容，"今天实在是太忙了。如果在任何方面冒犯了您，我很抱歉"。
She chuckles, “Henry. It will take a lot more than this to offend me. Don’t you worry one bit. Come, follow me to the drawing room and I will show you some of the wedding preparations mother and I have been looking at.”
她笑着说："亨利。要想得罪我，可没这么简单。你不用担心。来，跟我去客厅，我给你看看我和妈妈一直在看的婚礼准备工作。"
He manages to keep his sigh internal as he climbs to his feet.
当他爬起来时，他还能保持内心的叹息。
–
Despite his exhaustion, he ends up staying at the Hampton manor well into the night, until her father, Michael, enters the drawing room, candle in hand, and says in no uncertain terms that it is time for Henry to leave. Henry, with a lapful of designs and ideas, quickly climbs to his feet and agrees, placing a careful kiss on his bride-to-be's cheek and shaking her father’s hand firmly.
尽管疲惫不堪，他还是在汉普顿庄园待到了深夜，直到她的父亲迈克尔手持蜡烛走进客厅，明确表示亨利该离开了。亨利满脑子都是设计和想法，他赶紧站起来同意了，小心翼翼地在准新娘的脸颊上亲了一下，然后紧紧握住她父亲的手。
Michael squeezes slightly harder than Henry had been expecting, making him shake his hand by his side as he leaves the manor, trying to unclench the muscle.
迈克尔捏他的手比亨利预想的要稍微用力一些，这让亨利在离开庄园时不由自主地握住他的手，试图松开肌肉。
He has always loved the town in the dead of night, everyone having retired to bed and only the barest of lights scattered through town. It is peaceful, knowing he is the only person on the street, that no one can bother him for once. He is truly and utterly alone.
他一直很喜欢夜深人静时的小镇，每个人都已经上床睡觉，只有最微弱的灯光散落在小镇上。他知道街上只有他一个人，没有人能打扰他，这让他感到安宁。他是真正的、彻底的孤独。
Or so he thinks.
他是这么想的。
The gate to the manor is open, something that gives him pause for a moment. Did he leave it open when he had left earlier? Or one of the servants? He wracks his brain to try and remember as he passes through, shutting it quietly behind him. In his mind, he remembers shutting the gate, latching it behind him before turning towards the road, just like he always does. Nothing different there, nothing out of the ordinary that would account for it being unlocked.
庄园的大门敞开着，这让他停顿了片刻。是他之前离开时没关好吗？还是某个仆人？他一边绞尽脑汁回忆，一边穿过大门，悄无声息地把门关在身后。在他的脑海中，他记得关上大门，在身后锁上门闩，然后转身朝大路走去，就像往常一样。那里没有任何异样，也没有任何异常情况表明大门没有上锁。
A glance over to the left shows Phillip’s house in the near distance, no signs of lights in the windows, the house blissfully asleep. It reassures him slightly, that if Phillip wasn’t racing to the manor then surely something couldn’t be wrong.
他向左侧看了一眼，菲利普的房子就在不远处，窗户上没有亮灯的迹象，房子沉沉地睡着了。这让他稍稍放心，如果菲利普没有飞奔到庄园，那肯定不会出什么问题。
Alarm bells do not go off in his mind, it could have been Jameson on his nightly checks in the stables, making sure the horses are locked away. Jameson is getting older, it’s only natural to forget these kinds of things in older years. Next, the front door is wide open, swinging on its hinges. Again, he thinks that perhaps Jameson is yet to return from the stables. Although he has never left the front door open before, his mind does not jump to anything more sinister.
他的脑海中并没有响起警钟，可能是詹姆森每晚都要去马厩检查，确保马匹都锁好了。詹姆森年纪大了，上了年纪自然会忘记这些事情。接着，前门大开着，在门铰链上摇晃着。他再次想到，也许詹姆森还没有从马厩回来。虽然他以前从未让前门敞开过，但他的脑海中并没有浮现出任何更邪恶的东西。
These things simply do not happen to the Mountchristen Windsors.
这些事情根本不会发生在温莎家族身上。
Everything appears to be perfectly in order, until he takes a step through the threshold and hears a blood curdling scream bouncing off the walls - his grandmother’s. His feet root to the spot for a moment, all eventualities of what he may find running through his mind if he follows the noise. Would she be dead? Dying? Murdering an attacker? If he’s entirely honest, he is not sure how he feels about any of the outcomes.
一切看起来都井然有序，直到他迈出门槛，听到一声令人血脉喷张的尖叫从墙壁上弹跳而出--那是他祖母的尖叫。他的双脚顿时站在原地，脑海中不断闪过如果循声望去可能会发现的一切。她会死吗？死了？杀害了袭击者？老实说，他不知道自己对这些结果有什么感觉。
When another, louder scream echoes off the walls, he snaps out of his daze and promptly dashes towards the dining room, the origin of the scream, to find his grandmother cowering against the wall, attempting to barricade one of the other doors that led to the kitchen, screaming bloody murder. He quickly closes the door on his side, idly wondering how Phillip has not come running at the sounds of commotion.
当另一声更大的尖叫在墙壁上回荡时，他从呆滞中清醒过来，迅速冲向尖叫声的源头--餐厅，发现他的祖母正蜷缩在墙边，试图堵住通往厨房的另一扇门，嘴里发出血腥的尖叫。他迅速关上了自己这边的门，空想着菲利普听到骚动声怎么还没跑过来。
“Gran!” He hisses, trying to keep his voice low, though there seems to be no point when she is screeching loud enough to wake the dead, “What is going on?”
"格兰！"他嘶哑着嗓子，尽量压低声音，不过当她的尖叫声大到足以吵醒死人的时候，似乎已经没有任何意义了。"这是怎么回事？"
“Bandits!” She snaps, shoving a chair under the door handle on her side, “The absolute mongrels broke into the house and are trying to take everything . I refuse to go with them, Henry. I would rather they strike me down where I stand!”
"强盗！"她咆哮着，把一把椅子塞到自己这边的门把手下面，"那些杂种闯进了房子，想要拿走所有东西。我拒绝跟他们走，亨利。我宁愿他们把我打倒在地！"
Henry does not think to block the door on the opposite side of the room that he has just come through, too focused on trying to get his grandmother to stop shrieking like a banshee. She is shoving the chair even further under the door handle, though no one on the other side is even trying to break through.
亨利没有想到要去堵住对面房间的门，他只顾着让外婆停止像女妖一样的尖叫。她正把椅子往门把手下塞得更紧，尽管对面根本没有人试图破门而入。
“Trust me, lady.” A low voice comes through the door, immediately seeping beneath Henry’s skin and making something warm settle in his gut, “The last thing we want is to take you . No offence to your kind self. We just want some of your nice trinkets and we will be on our way.”
"相信我，女士。"一个低沉的声音从门外传来，立刻渗入亨利的皮肤，让他的内脏里有种温暖的感觉，"我们最不希望的就是把你......"。无意冒犯您的好意。我们只想要你的一些漂亮饰品，然后我们就走。"
“Murderers! Pillagers! Scoundrels! The sheriff is coming and when he get here you will be shot down where you stand!”
"杀人犯！掠夺者！恶棍！治安官就要来了 等他来了你们就会被击毙！"
“Goodie.” A higher yet still masculine voice responds, “It’s been a while since we ran from the sheriffs, Diaz.”
"好家伙"一个更高但仍充满阳刚之气的声音回应道："迪亚兹，我们很久没有躲过警长的追捕了。"
“Best get to stretching, boy.” The low voice responds and Henry can positively hear the smirk in it, dripping with sarcasm.
"最好去做伸展运动，孩子。"低沉的声音回应道，亨利可以清楚地听出其中的笑意，掺杂着嘲讽。
It is not the time to reflect on the thrumming of his blood beneath his veins, his brain once again trying to tell him something that he has absolutely no time to listen to.
他的大脑再次试图告诉他一些事情，但他完全没有时间去听。
“You will regret this!” Mary points a bony finger at the door, as if they can see her, “My grandson here is a crack shot! I wouldn’t mess with him!”
"你们会后悔的！"玛丽用瘦骨嶙峋的手指着门，好像他们能看见她一样，"我孙子是个神枪手！我可不敢惹他！"
Henry whips around to face her, eyes wide and staring at her incredulously as she gestures for him to shush. He has never so much as held a gun in his entire life, let alone enough to be considered a crack shot . He fears he would somehow accidentally shoot himself if someone was stupid enough to hand one to him.
亨利转过身来面对她，眼睛瞪得大大的，难以置信地看着她，她做了个噤声的手势。他这辈子连枪都没拿过，更不用说被认为是神枪手了。 他担心，如果有人蠢到把枪递给他，他会不小心打中自己。
It is then, the low chuckles of the bandits growing closer as it travels through the wall, does Henry remember the door he just came through. The door flies open, smacking against the wall with a resounding bang that makes Henry jump and his grandmother wail, her hand digging into his arm, nails breaking the skin.
这时，土匪们低沉的笑声穿过墙壁，越来越近，亨利这才想起他刚刚穿过的那扇门。门飞快地打开了，撞在墙上发出 "砰 "的一声巨响，亨利吓了一跳，他的祖母也嚎啕大哭起来，她的手伸进他的胳膊，指甲划破了他的皮肤。
Three things happen in succession.
三件事接连发生。
One, two bandits step into the room. The first is a tall, dark man with luminous hair that almost appears to be perfectly yellow, a wide smile on his lips and a shotgun in his hands, staring at them over the barrel of it. The second man manages to make every ounce of breath leave Henry’s chest in an instant as he quickly realises that this is exactly what he should have felt when he looked at Jane Hampton. Joanna? He finds that he can’t remember.
一个，两个匪徒走进房间。第一个是一个身材高大、皮肤黝黑的男人，他有着一头几乎看起来完全是黄色的光亮头发，嘴角挂着灿烂的笑容，手里拿着一把猎枪，正透过枪管盯着他们。第二个男人成功地让亨利的每一丝呼吸都瞬间离开了胸膛，因为他很快意识到，这正是他看着简-汉普顿时应该有的感觉。乔安娜？他发现自己记不起来了。
Two, he immediately gets lost in the eyes of the second bandit as he takes a step forward. His tanned skin is shining with sweat, reflecting in the dim candlelight of the room. Raven curls fall around his face, only partially hidden by the hat atop his head, brim pointed upwards. Dark hazel eyes settle on his own and his lips quirk up in a smirk, devastatingly handsome and sending Henry’s entire being into a whirlwind.
二，当第二个强盗向前迈出一步时，他的眼神立刻迷离起来。他黝黑的皮肤在汗水的浸润下闪闪发光，在房间昏暗的烛光下反射出耀眼的光芒。乌鸦般的卷发散落在脸上，只有头顶的帽子遮住了一部分，帽檐朝上。深褐色的眼睛注视着自己，嘴角勾起一抹冷笑，英俊潇洒，让亨利整个人都陷入了漩涡之中。
Three, his grandmother’s hand leaves his arm as she turns, yanking the chair from beneath the door and running out, slamming it shut behind her. It takes Henry far too long to process what she has just done as he is still staring at the bandit before him, entirely rooted to the spot under his gaze.
三，他祖母的手离开了他的胳膊，她转身从门下扯过椅子，跑了出去，在身后砰地一声关上了门。亨利花了很长时间才反应过来她刚刚做了什么，因为他还在盯着眼前的强盗，在他的注视下完全呆住了。
He feels like a block of ice finally being exposed to the summer sun, thawing rapidly and feeling warmth spread throughout his entire body. Despite the fact that he is likely about to die, he fears this is the first time he has ever actually felt alive in twenty one years on this earth.
他感觉自己就像一块冰块终于暴露在夏日的阳光下，迅速解冻，温暖传遍全身。尽管他很可能就要死了，但他担心这是他来到这个世界二十一年来第一次真正感觉到自己还活着。
“Well,” Bandit one says, “she seems like a right treat.”
"好吧，"强盗一号说，"她看起来是个好东西。"
Henry is still rooted to the spot, the second bandit not breaking eye contact for even a moment. He feels pinned under the man’s sharp gaze, like he is drowning in it. Not a single part of him wants to swim back to the surface, to breathe fresh air again. His mind is spinning, screaming at him to listen once more. There is something warm in the other man’s eyes that betrays the entire situation at hand and for some reason, Henry feels no fear.
亨利仍然站在原地，与第二个强盗的目光接触一刻也没有停止。他感觉自己被压制在那人锐利的目光下，仿佛要被淹没在其中。他没有一丝一毫想要游回水面，重新呼吸新鲜空气的念头。他的大脑在不停地转动，呼唤着他再次倾听。对方的眼睛里有一种温暖的东西，出卖了眼下的整个局势，不知为什么，亨利并不感到害怕。
“And you are, sweetheart?” He eventually drawls, his voice smooth like honey and molasses.
"你是，亲爱的？"他终于开口了，声音平滑得像蜂蜜和糖浆。
“Henry.” He croaks, before clearing his throat, “My name is Henry.”
"亨利"他歪了歪嘴，然后清了清嗓子，"我叫亨利"
“Well, Henry ,” The bandit puts extra emphasis on his name, tipping his cap to him, “we are mighty sorry for interrupting your night. We are just looking for some trinkets and we will be on our merry way. We mean no harm.”
"好吧，亨利，"强盗特别强调了他的名字，向他致意，"我们非常抱歉打扰了你的夜晚。我们只是来找些小玩意儿，然后就走。我们没有恶意"。
The first bandit snorts and the handsome one jams an elbow into his side, making him wince.
第一个强盗哼了一声，那个英俊的强盗用胳膊肘撞了他一下，让他吓了一跳。
“What are you looking for?” He finds himself asking and just about holds himself back from throwing himself at the bandit’s feet.
"你在找什么？"他发现自己问出了这句话，差点没把自己扔到强盗脚下。
The man smirks at him, his lips quirking up on one side as he darts his gaze up and down Henry’s frame. He can feel the blush starting on his cheeks and hopes the candlelight is dim enough so that it’s not as noticeable as it feels - like a ripened tomato.
那人冲着他笑了笑，嘴角微微上翘，目光在亨利的身上上下打量。他能感觉到自己的脸颊开始泛红，希望烛光足够昏暗，这样就不会像感觉到的那样明显--就像一个熟透的番茄。
“Something that will fetch a pretty penny. We are looking for a big score and we heard you Mountchristens are rolling in it.”
"能卖个好价钱的东西"我们正在找一个大买卖" "我们听说你们蒙特克里斯滕森家族在这上面赚了不少钱"
Henry believes he is currently experiencing psychosis, or something similar to it, likely due to the man in front of him and the strange reaction he is having to his presence. His body is on fire, head to toe and he wants to bottle this feeling and keep it close to his chest. This is the only explanation he has for the words that leave his lips next.
亨利认为自己目前正处于精神错乱或类似的状态，很可能是因为眼前的这个男人，以及他对自己的出现所产生的奇怪反应。他的身体从头到脚都在燃烧，他想把这种感觉装进瓶子里，紧紧地藏在胸口。这也是他接下来说出的话的唯一解释。
“Take me,” he says, struggling to keep his voice level, “use me for ransom.”
"带我走，"他说，努力保持声音平缓 "用我来赎人"