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Chapter Text 正文

Kaiser’s body burned under his robe as he stared at Yoichi in the doorway; the sight before him hazy and unfocused. His phone lay discarded next to the martini glass with the messages staring back at him. He knew what he sent. He knew why he called Yoichi here. He wasn’t so drunk that he was unaware of his actions. 
Kaiser的身躯在他长袍下燃烧，他盯着门口的Yoichi；眼前的景象模糊不清。他的手机被丢弃在马提尼酒杯旁，信息回望着他。他知道自己发了什么。他知道为什么把Yoichi叫到这里。他并没有醉到对自己的行为一无所知。

The alcohol just lets them be easier to make. 
酒精只是让他们更容易制造罢了。

“You have to be fucking kidding me.”
“你他妈在逗我吧。”

Yoichi’s voice was irritated, as he expected. Yoichi’s voice is always irritated when they talk. The ending of his words were always sharp and jagged as if he was trying to cut into Kaiser’s skin when he said them. They never hurt though. Maybe it was just because Kaiser’s skin has become so hardened over the years that the lashes just felt like a tracing of finger nails along his veins. 
Yoichi的声音果然带着不耐烦，正如他所料。Yoichi的声音总是带着不耐烦，每当他们交谈时。他的话语总是尖锐而刺耳，仿佛试图刺入Kaiser的皮肤。然而，这些话从未真正伤到过他。或许只是因为Kaiser的皮肤在这些年里变得如此坚硬，那些话语就像是指甲沿着他的血管轻轻划过。

He wondered if Yoichi’s actual nails felt the same way against him. 
他好奇Yoichi的指甲是否也以同样的方式触碰他。

“You’re drunk?” “你喝醉了？”

Kaiser let out a sharp breath as he rolled his head against the chair. 
Kaiser将头靠在椅背上，发出一声急促的呼吸。

“Just a little under the influence. It’s depressing to drink alone, you know. I wanted some company.” 
“只是稍微有点醉了。你知道的，一个人喝酒很郁闷的。我想要点陪伴。”

Yoichi’s face soured as he crossed his arms over his chest, “Aren’t you underaged? Also, why are you allowed to have alcohol? Did you know I’m barely even allowed any sugar?”
“Yoichi”的脸色变得难看起来，他交叉双臂抱在胸前，“你不是未成年吗？还有，为什么你可以喝酒？你知道我连糖都几乎不被允许吃吗？”

So many questions. He’s so noisy. Yoichi always has so much to say. He’s lucky he’s so pretty. Even his annoyed voice is pretty. He destroys words so beautifully. 
这么多问题。他真吵。“Yoichi”总是有那么多话要说。他真幸运，长得这么好看。连他生气的声音都那么好听。他能把话毁得如此美丽。

“I’m of age in Germany. Ego doesn’t control what I do. I’m the star player of Bastard Munchen, Yoichi. I can have a drink if I want to.”
“我在德国已经成年了。自我意识并不控制我的行为。我是混蛋慕尼黑的明星球员，Yoichi。我想喝一杯就可以喝。”

“Does no one ever say no to you? Do you even know what that word means?”
“难道从来没有人对你说不吗？你甚至知道这个词的意思吗？”

It was a word he went the entire first fifteen years of his life hearing on repeat. Obviously he knows what it means. He knows its impact. He’s brought himself to a point where the word has become a memory instead of a constant variable. As long as he shows results he can do what he wants. Mostly. 
"这个词在他生命的前十五年里不断重复出现。显然他知道它的意思。他知道它的影响。他让自己达到了一个境界，这个词变成了记忆，而不是一个恒定的变量。只要他能展示出成果，他就可以做他想做的事。基本上。”

Yoichi doesn’t know that though. Yoichi knows nothing. Yoichi believes him to be a spoiled brat who has never faced any repercussions of his actions. There’s no reason for him to think differently. Kaiser won’t allow him to think differently. 
Yoichi 并不知道这些。Yoichi 一无所知。Yoichi 认为他是个被宠坏的纨绔子弟，从未因自己的行为承担过任何后果。他没有理由去想不同。Kaiser 不会让他有不同的想法。

“You do.” “你知道。”

“At least someone does. Jesus.”
“至少有人知道。天啊。”

A soft laugh left Kaiser’s throat, “I’m surprised you came.”
一声轻笑从Kaiser的喉间逸出，“我很惊讶你会来。”

“If I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to sleep.”
“如果我不来，恐怕会彻夜难眠。”

“I’m on your mind that much, Yoichi?”
“我在你心里有那么重要吗，Yoichi？”

“No. I just thought after everything you wouldn’t call me here for no reason. Or are you seriously just wasting my time for fun?”
“不，我只是觉得经历了那么多，你不会无缘无故把我叫到这里。还是说，你真的只是为了好玩而浪费我的时间？”

A reason. It was an obvious conclusion. He would have to be an idiot to not realize that. But what Kaiser intended to say was still stuck in his throat. Also, there wasn’t enough of a build up. How much further could Kaiser push the boy in the doorway before he snapped again? 
一个理由。这是显而易见的结论。他要是连这都意识不到，那他就是个白痴。但Kaiser想说的话仍然卡在喉咙里。而且，铺垫还不够。Kaiser还能在门口的男孩再次爆发前把他逼到什么程度？

“And if I was?”
“如果我是呢？”

“Then I’m leaving. I have a movie night to get back to.”
“那我走了。我得回去看电影之夜。”

Wrong choice. Again. It just seems like Kaiser has been making a series of wrong choices. He’s meant to be perfect but he can’t even get his words to work the way he wants them to. It should be easy. What he wants to say should be easy. What he wants to do should be easy. 
又选错了。Kaiser似乎一直在做出错误的选择。他本该是完美的，却连自己的话都说不对。这本该很容易。他想说的话本该很容易。他想做的事本该很容易。

He’s done it before. They’ve done it before. He filled himself with liquor in order to stop the mental roadblocks. But he’s failing. Again. He’s losing to that pink frilled shark. Again.  
他以前做过。他们以前做过。他灌醉自己以阻止思维障碍。但他又失败了。他又输给了那只粉红色荷叶边的鲨鱼。

“With Ranze?” “和兰泽？”

His voice came out far more bitter than he expected it to. The words brought up the burning flavor of the alcohol that should have already settled in his stomach. It seems whatever he wants to say doesn’t struggle at all when there’s malice behind it. 
他的声音比预想的更加苦涩。这些话勾起了本应已沉入胃中的酒精的灼热感。似乎只要背后有恶意，他想说什么都毫不费力。

That was normal for him. Speaking with disdain and hatred was easy. It was natural. Maybe they could serve as a pin cushion for his actual intentions.
这对他来说是常态。带着轻蔑和仇恨说话很容易，自然而然。或许这些情绪可以作为他真实意图的针垫。

Even through the dazed vision and poor lighting, Yoichi’s anger was clear. His narrowed eyes and deepening scowl made it impossible to think otherwise. He always gets so upset when it involves the runt. He loves him. He’s loved. Ranze is adored by Yoichi. 
即便视线模糊、光线昏暗，Yoichi的怒火依然显而易见。他眯起的双眼和愈发阴沉的眉头让人无法有其他想法。每当涉及那小家伙时，他总是如此激动。他爱他。他曾被爱。兰泽深受Yoichi的喜爱。

The fact made Kaiser reach for the remnants of liquor left in the glass. 
这一事实让Kaiser伸手去拿杯中残留的酒液。

“Does it matter?” “这有关系吗？”

The final sip slid down his throat easily. A sweetness of the fruit flavoring coated his tongue before being bitten by the actual alcohol. He was going to need something stronger for this conversation to continue. Considering Yoichi currently looked like he was about to strangle him, his own memories would have to do. 
最后一口酒顺滑地滑过他的喉咙。水果调味剂的甜味先是在舌尖上蔓延，随即被真正的酒精所掩盖。为了继续这场对话，他需要更烈的东西。考虑到Yoichi现在看起来像是要掐死他，他只能依靠自己的记忆了。

“You’re just always with him, is all. You’re really in the honeymoon phase, aren’t you?”
“你只是总是和他在一起，就是这样。你们真的还在蜜月期，不是吗？”

“We aren’t…” Isagi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Why are you so obsessed with that?”
““我们不是……” Isagi 叹了口气，揉了揉鼻梁，“你为什么对那件事如此执着？””

“I’m not obsessed.” ““我没有执着。””

“Bullshit. Your comments say otherwise. Like that shit you said earlier. What’s wrong with you?”
““胡说八道。你的评论可不是这么说的。就像你之前说的那些屁话。你到底怎么了？””

“Yoichi-”

“No. I didn’t get to say it before with everyone there but you seriously piss me off. You lead me on, fully reject me, humiliate me, and then have the nerve to be jealous over me possibly dating my best friend?”
“不，刚才人多我没机会说，但你真的让我很火大。你先是撩拨我，然后彻底拒绝我，羞辱我，现在还有脸嫉妒我可能和我最好的朋友约会？”

“It’s not jealousy.” “这不是嫉妒。”

“Then what the fuck is it Kaiser, huh? Make up your fucking mind already. Tell me why I’m actually here or I’m leaving.”
“那这他妈到底是什么Kaiser，嗯？赶紧决定吧。告诉我为什么我真在这儿，不然我就走了。”

Why can’t Yoichi understand? Is it because of his innocence? Is it because he’s gone his entire life loved and cherished that he can’t possibly understand that some people can’t experience those things? That some people shouldn’t ? That Kaiser shouldn’t? That Kaiser isn’t worthy ?
为什么Yoichi就是不明白？是因为他的纯真吗？是因为他一生都被爱与珍视，所以他无法理解有些人无法经历这些？有些人不应该经历这些？Kaiser不应该？Kaiser不值得？

It wasn't jealousy that called Yoichi into that screening room. Kaiser couldn’t possibly be jealous of someone who is barely able to stand on the same field as him. It can’t be jealousy. Kaiser doesn’t experience jealousy. 
并非嫉妒让Yoichi走进那间放映室。Kaiser不可能嫉妒一个几乎无法与他站在同一领域的人。这不可能是嫉妒。Kaiser不会感到嫉妒。

“I don’t know what it fucking is, Yoichi! That’s what the issue is!” 
“我不知道那他妈是什么，Yoichi! 这就是问题所在！”

Standing from his chair, Kaiser ignored the sway of the room around him as he walked forward. The outburst caused Yoichi’s eyes to widen but he stayed in the same position in front of the doorway. With nothing given in reply, Kaiser allowed the liquor in his body to speak for him. 
从椅子上站起身，Kaiser无视周围房间的摇晃，径直向前走去。这一举动让Yoichi的眼睛瞪大，但他依然保持站在门口的姿势。没有得到任何回应，Kaiser任由体内的酒精替他说话。

“I’m not sure why my skin feels like it's going to slide off my body whenever I see the two of you together. It’s disgusting. The way you look at Ranze like he’s the greatest gift to the world. You speak to him so delicately it's nauseating. He’s just a child! He’s done nothing worthy of praise and admiration from you! He’s nothing compared to me! So how were you able to move on so fast?! ”
“我不明白为什么每次看到你们俩在一起，我的皮肤就感觉像要滑落一样。太恶心了。你看着兰泽的眼神，仿佛他是世界上最珍贵的礼物。你对他讲话那么温柔，简直令人作呕。他只是个孩子！他没做过任何值得你赞美和崇拜的事！他跟我比什么都不是！那你又是怎么这么快就放下的？！”

His voice broke at the end of his sentence; it strained as his hands clawed at his neck. He felt sick. He wanted to blame it on the alcohol but he’s been black out drunk and never thrown up. It’s this stupid fucking situation with these stupid fucking feelings that trying to comprehend the meaning of was making him break out into a fever. 
他的声音在句子末尾哽咽了；双手紧抓着喉咙，显得异常痛苦。他感到恶心。他想把这归咎于酒精，但他曾醉得不省人事，却从未呕吐过。正是这该死的局面，这些该死的情感，试图理解其含义的过程让他发起了高烧。

Yoichi’s arms fell from his chest; his hands balling into fists at his side. 
Yoichi的手臂从胸前垂下；双手紧握成拳，置于身侧。

“I didn’t, you fucking asshole.” Yoichi finally stepped out of the doorway and further into the room. “ I wish I did, but I didn’t. There. Are you happy? I’m not dating Kurona. I’m just forcing myself away from anything that has to do with you so I stop feeling used and gross.”
““我没有，你这个混蛋。”Yoichi终于从门口迈出，更深入房间。“我倒是希望我有，但我没有。这样你满意了吗？我没有和 Kurona 约会。我只是强迫自己远离任何与你有关的事情，这样我就不会再感到被利用和恶心。””

Kaiser was frozen in the middle of the room as Yoichi approached him. His feet refused to listen to him as a finger jabbed forcefully into his chest. 
“Kaiser站在房间中央，Yoichi向他走来时，他僵住了。他的脚不听使唤，一根手指用力戳在他的胸口。”

“In case you forgot, you pushed me away. You spit at me. You are the one who actively rejected me in a way that made me feel like an idiot for even giving you the slightest chance of being a decent person. I..I trusted you. You made me trust you just to literally spit in my face.”
““以防你忘了，是你推开我的。你对我吐口水。是你主动拒绝我，让我觉得自己像个傻瓜，竟然给你哪怕一丝成为好人的机会。我……我信任你。你让我信任你，结果却在我脸上吐口水。””

The finger hit him with more force after each sentence. If Kaiser looked down, he wouldn’t be surprised if blood was flowing down his torso as Yoichi dug into the cavity to grip his heart. 
每说完一句话，那手指就以更大的力道戳向他。如果Kaiser低头看，他不会惊讶地发现鲜血正顺着躯干流淌，因为Yoichi正深入腔体，紧紧攥住他的心脏。

“I know that-” “我知道那——”

“Do you? Because it seems like you’re just trying to make me feel like shit for being close to someone else.”
“是吗？因为看起来你只是想让我因为和别人亲近而感到糟糕。”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do.”
“我不是那个意思。”

“Then what are you trying to do?”
“那你到底想干什么？”

Kaiser’s hands raised to grip Yoichi’s wrist. He forced the hand to go flat against his skin. The contrast between their body heats was drastic enough to cause steam. Cold sweat began to form on Kaiser’s forehead and he held eye contact between them. 
Kaiser的双手抬起，紧紧抓住Yoichi的手腕。他强迫那只手平贴在自己的皮肤上。两人体温的巨大差异足以产生蒸汽。冷汗开始在Kaiser的额头上形成，他保持着与对方的目光接触。

The fury in Yoichi’s eyes hadn’t lessened; it still raged with an intensity as brutal as a typhoon. Even his anger was beautiful. This look of detest on his face that could only ever be directed at Kaiser deserved to be painted and hung in a museum. Would anyone else be able to appreciate its beauty, though? Would anyone be able to notice the waves and storming skies and freckles across his cheeks? 
Yoichi眼中的怒火丝毫未减，依旧如台风般猛烈。就连他的愤怒也如此美丽。这张脸上只可能对Kaiser展现的厌恶表情，值得被画下来挂在博物馆里。但其他人能欣赏到它的美吗？有人能注意到他脸颊上的波纹、暴风雨般的天空和雀斑吗？

“I don’t know !” Another crack of his voice at the end of a sentence. Another break in what should be a perfect person. How much more could his body take before pieces laid shattered in the abandoned screening room?
“我不知道！” 他的声音在句末再次破裂。又一个本应完美的人的裂痕。他的身体还能承受多少，直到碎片散落在废弃的放映室里？

Yoichi’s eyes softened on the edges, his deep hatred taking a back seat as he listened to Kaiser’s answer.
Yoichi的眼角柔和下来，深切的恨意退居次席，他聆听着Kaiser的回答。

“Okay? I don’t fucking know. For the first time in my life I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and I don’t know how to handle it and it’s your fault!”
“好吧？我他妈也不知道。这辈子头一回不知道自己在搞什么鬼，也不知道该怎么应对，这都是你的错！”

The hatred returned immediately. Yoichi attempted to pull his hand away from Kaiser’s chest, but the grip on his wrist didn’t let him. Kaiser should let go. Forcing them to be so close like this is only going to lead to a worse outcome. It was the reason he brought Yoichi here in the first place, but the sober part of him was banging on the inside of his skull. 
仇恨瞬间回归。Yoichi试图从Kaiser的胸前抽回手，但手腕上的钳制让他无法挣脱。Kaiser应该放手。强迫他们如此接近只会导致更糟糕的结果。这正是他最初带Yoichi来这里的原因，但清醒的那部分自我正在他脑海中猛烈敲击。

“How the hell is it my fault?!”
“这他妈怎么是我的错？！”

“Because this never happened before you! I’ve never felt this need to be next to someone before. Or talk to someone until I pass out from exhaustion. Or poke at you until you scream at me. Or have someone look at me the way you look at him !”
““因为你之前从未发生过这样的事！我从未有过如此强烈的想要靠近某人的冲动。或者和某人聊天直到筋疲力尽。或者戳你直到你对我大喊大叫。或者有人用你看他的那种眼神看我！””

Kaiser’s chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. Pieces of himself were falling onto the ground around them. His eyes began to sting the longer he stared in front of him. It was no longer possible for him to tell if the glossy vision was a result of the liquor in his system. 
Kaiser的胸膛剧烈起伏，试图喘口气。他的碎片正散落在他们周围的地上。他的眼睛开始因为长时间盯着前方而刺痛。他再也无法分辨眼前模糊的景象是否是体内酒精所致。

“That kiss wasn’t meant to mean anything. I never should have kissed you back. It’s only made everything so much worse.”
““那个吻本不该有任何意义。我本不该回吻你。这只会让一切都变得更糟。””

Yoichi bit the inside of his cheek as he went over a reply in his head, the hostility lowering in his posture.
Yoichi 咬了咬内颊，脑海中反复斟酌着回复，敌意在姿态中逐渐消退。

“What’s so wrong about it?”
“这有什么不对的？”

Kaiser blinked at him, “..Huh?”
Kaiser 对他眨了眨眼，“……啊？”

What’s so wrong about it? What’s wrong about the way his body reacts to Yoichi? There’s a million things wrong with it! But for some reason, Kaiser was unable to think of any at the moment. 
这有什么不对劲的？他的身体对Yoichi的反应有什么问题？这里面有无数的问题！但不知为何，Kaiser当时却一个也想不出来。

“We can scream and go back and forth for hours about who is at fault even though we both know it’s you. Or, you can figure it out, right now, and save us both our vocal cords and time. You already know why, don’t you?”
“我们可以尖叫着争论几个小时，尽管我们都知道是你错了。或者，你现在就可以想明白，省得我们俩都费嗓子又浪费时间。你已经知道原因了，不是吗？”

Kaiser stared at Yoichi’s face as he replayed the words in his head. The question of why has been haunting him all day. The emotions that welled in his torso whenever he looked at Yoichi still didn’t fully make sense to him. There probably wouldn’t be a day in the near future where it does. 
Kaiser 盯着 Yoichi 的脸，脑海中反复回放着那些话。“为什么”这个问题一整天都在困扰着他。每当他看向 Yoichi 时，胸中涌起的情感依然让他难以完全理解。在不久的将来，恐怕不会有哪一天他能彻底明白。

So he stood here, doing his best not to sway on his feet, as he held Yoichi’s palm against his chest. He could feel the racing of the boy’s pulse through his wrist - and a small part of him was relieved that it matched the intensity of his own. 
于是他站在这里，尽力稳住脚步，将Yoichi的手掌紧贴在胸前。他能感受到男孩手腕上急促的脉搏——而内心的一小部分为此感到宽慰，因为那脉搏的强度与他自己的心跳如出一辙。

Yoichi continued to search his face for some sort of answer; his irises darting around in an attempt to find the reasoning himself. Kaiser didn’t want to admit that Yoichi was right. Honestly, even with countless martinis deep in his system, he would rather die than agree with anything Blue Lock’s heart had to say. 
Yoichi继续在他脸上寻找某种答案；他的瞳孔四处游移，试图自己找出其中的缘由。Kaiser不想承认Yoichi是对的。说实话，即使体内已深陷无数马提尼的迷醉，他宁愿死也不愿同意蓝锁之心所说的任何话。

But the answer to why continued to tear the inside of his torso to ribbons as it tried to take control of his actions. That’s the only explanation as to why his core kept tightening and pulling on his heart the longer he kept his eyes locked on Yoichi’s.
但那个关于为何的答案却继续在他的胸腔内撕扯，试图掌控他的行动。这就是为什么他的核心持续收紧、拉扯着他的心脏，随着他目光锁定在Yoichi的时间越长，这种感觉就越强烈。

The only sounds he could hear was a distant ringing that was being suffocated by the beating of his heart. It was calling to him - guiding him - to reach forward and take the answer for himself. 
他能听到的唯一声音，是远处被心跳声淹没的铃声。它在呼唤他——指引他——伸手去抓住属于自己的答案。

Kaiser’s grip around Yoichi’s wrist loosened; his hands hesitating before moving to rest on the sides of Yoichi’s face. The hand on his chest stayed motionless; the blue hair soft as it moved through Kaiser’s fingers. The skin of a cheek against his thumb matched the chill of the hand and sent goosebumps through his body that left him feeling numb. 
Kaiser握住Yoichi手腕的力道松了些；他的手犹豫了一下，才轻轻放在Yoichi的脸颊两侧。按在胸口的手依旧静止不动；蓝色的发丝柔顺地穿过Kaiser的指间。拇指触碰到的脸颊肌肤与那只冰冷的手一样寒凉，激起他全身的鸡皮疙瘩，令他感到一阵麻木。

The cold. The stare. The questions. All of it swirled in Kaiser’s head with the alcohol. He was drowning in his senses with no way to reach the surface. Glancing at Yoichi’s lips that were forming words unheard, he let himself be pulled deeper underwater. 
寒冷。凝视。质问。这一切与酒精一同在Kaiser的脑海中翻腾。他感觉自己正被感官淹没，无法触及水面。瞥见Yoichi的唇瓣无声地开合，他任由自己被拖入更深的水底。

This kiss was a stark contrast to the one shared a few days prior. It was forceful and desperate as Kaiser searched for the answer to his deteriorating state. The chill on his skin was replaced with a burning sensation that almost made him pull away. 
这个吻与几天前的那次截然不同。它充满了力量与绝望，Kaiser在寻找自己日益恶化的状态的答案。皮肤上的寒意被灼热感取代，几乎让他想要退缩。

But Yoichi was kissing him back. Yoichi was pulling on the collar of his robe and gripping the base of his hair. Yoichi was trying his best to return the energy being shot into his body. It was messy. Teeth kept scraping Kaiser’s bottom lip as nails glided over his collarbone. 
但Yoichi也在回吻他。Yoichi拉扯着他的袍领，紧握着他的发根。Yoichi竭尽全力回应着注入体内的能量。一切都很混乱。牙齿不断刮擦着Kaiser的下唇，指甲滑过他的锁骨。

The kiss should be terrible. It should be grossing him out the longer it goes on. But for something that should have filled his stomach with dread, the only reaction his body had was weakening knees. 
这个吻本该糟糕透顶。它本该随着时间的推移让他越来越反感。但本应让他心生恐惧的事情，却只让他的身体产生了膝盖发软的反应。

Whether it was from the last sip of liquor finally getting into his bloodstream or his mind just reaching its limit, Kaiser felt his legs buckle and lips fall away. Hands were quick to grip his biceps to steady him, but he let himself lower the rest of the way to the floor. The world was spinning around him. His heart and stomach were flipping inside his body. Everything was unstable and on the verge of collapse except for one thing. 
不知是最后一口酒终于渗入血液，还是他的心智已至极限，Kaiser感到双腿一软，嘴唇也无力地垂下。双手迅速抓住他的上臂以稳住他，但他任由自己完全瘫倒在地。世界在他周围旋转。他的心脏和胃在体内翻腾。一切都岌岌可危，濒临崩溃，唯有一物例外。

Yoichi looked down at him from his standing position. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes watched Kaiser with a mixture of worry and annoyance. Dark blue hair framed his face like a portrait. A beautiful portrait fitting for a gallery that only Kaiser would ever have the privilege of seeing. His glossy lips continued to move but it all sounded like rolling waves in Kaiser’s head. Only when a hand gripped the drunk’s jaw did the words finally form something coherent. 
Yoichi 从站立的位置低头看着他。他的脸颊泛红，眼神中混杂着担忧与恼怒，注视着 Kaiser。深蓝色的头发如同一幅肖像画般环绕着他的脸庞，这幅美丽的肖像只适合陈列在 Kaiser 才有幸一睹的画廊中。他那光泽的嘴唇继续动着，但在 Kaiser 的脑海里，这一切听起来就像翻滚的海浪。直到一只手抓住了醉汉的下巴，那些话语才终于变得清晰可辨。

“So much for just being ‘under the influence’. I swear to God if you pass out-”
“看来‘只是受影响’的说法不成立了。我向上帝发誓，你要是昏过去——”

A laugh left Kaiser’s throat as he took Yoichi’s wrist back into his hand. He stared up at him through hazy eyes and took satisfaction in how the flush deepend. 
Kaiser发出一声轻笑，重新握住Yoichi的手腕。他透过朦胧的眼睛凝视着他，满意地看着那抹红晕加深。

“I’m not that drunk. I guess you just made me swoon so badly I had to fall to my knees.”
“我没那么醉。我想你只是让我如此神魂颠倒，以至于我不得不跪倒在地。”

Yoichi rolled his eyes, but the faint pull of a smile showed on his face, “Okay, yeah. You’re fine. If you forgot about this I would probably murder you.”
Yoichi 翻了个白眼，但脸上还是浮现出一丝淡淡的笑意，“好吧，是啊。你没事。要是你忘了这事，我可能会杀了你。”

How could he ever forget? The memories of Yoichi’s skin beneath his hands and their shared breath was already branded with hot iron in his brain. Even if he was blacked out and unable to remember his own name, he would remember this feeling as soon as his mind came back to him. 
他怎能忘记？Yoichi肌肤的触感与他们共享的呼吸，早已如烙铁般深深印在他的脑海中。即便他昏迷不醒，连自己的名字都记不得，只要意识一恢复，这份感觉便会立刻涌上心头。

“You want to stay in my memory that badly?”
“你这么想留在我的记忆里吗？”

“If it means you stop acting like a bitch, yeah.”
“如果这意味着你不再像个婊子一样行事，是的。”

“Harsh.” “苛刻。”

“You’ll live.” “你会活下来的。”

The grip on his jaw tightened as Yoichi leaned in closer. Kaiser was embarrassed by the way he felt his heart flip from the decreasing distance. The kiss had barely ended a few seconds ago, but he wanted another. He wanted their lips to stay locked until their breath became one and it was impossible to breathe without the other’s presence. 
随着Yoichi更靠近，握住他下巴的力道收紧了。Kaiser因感受到心跳因距离缩短而翻腾感到羞涩。那个吻才刚结束几秒钟，但他已经想要再来一次。他希望他们的唇能一直紧贴，直到呼吸交融，没有对方的气息就无法呼吸。

So when the lips he was longing for stopped just before his own, his drunken self couldn’t stop the pout that formed. The mouth in front of him smirked at the expression as nails dug into his skin.
所以当那双他渴望的唇停在他自己的唇前时，他醉醺醺的自己无法抑制住撅起的嘴。面前的嘴角因这表情而扬起，指甲刺入了他的皮肤。

“I expect an apology from you to Kurona tomorrow, by the way.”
“顺便说一句，我期待你明天向 Kurona 道歉。”

The words barely made sense in Kaiser’s head, “What?”
这些话在Kaiser的脑海中几乎无法理解，“什么？”

“An apology. To Kurona. Tomorrow. I’ll never kiss you again if you don’t.”
“一个道歉。给 Kurona。明天。如果你不这么做，我再也不会吻你了。”

How does it always go back to him? Even when Kaiser should have finally gained an upper hand, the focus is brought back to that fucking shark. It’s infuriating, but the way his lips stung from the air let him push that thought aside. If it meant they could be together again, he would do anything. Not that the sober version of himself would agree, though.
为什么总是回到他身上？即使Kaiser本应最终占据上风，焦点却总是被拉回到那该死的鲨鱼身上。这令人恼火，但空气让他的嘴唇刺痛，让他暂时抛开了这个念头。如果这意味着他们能再次在一起，他愿意做任何事。不过，清醒时的自己可不会同意。

“What makes you think I want another?”
“你怎么会觉得我想要另一个？”

Kaiser was unable to suppress the teasing smirk from reappearing on his face. He was talking out of his ass. They both knew it. He was staring at Yoichi like he was the most gorgeous being in the universe. At that moment in time, it was impossible for Kaiser to believe that he wasn’t. 
Kaiser 无法抑制脸上再次浮现的戏谑笑容。他完全是在胡说八道。他们俩都心知肚明。他凝视着 Yoichi，仿佛他是宇宙中最美丽的存在。那一刻，Kaiser 几乎无法相信他不是。

Yoichi used the hand on his jaw to push Kaiser backwards before walking back to the door. His skin felt empty. The space of his jaw burned with pins and needles as Yoichi walked away from him again. Why can’t he stay? Why does he continue to leave? What else does Kaiser need to do in order to keep the focus on himself?
Yoichi 用手托住下巴，将Kaiser 推开，然后转身走回门口。他的皮肤感到空虚。随着Yoichi 再次离他而去，下巴处的空间像针扎般刺痛。为什么他不能留下？为什么他总是离开？Kaiser 还需要做些什么才能让自己成为焦点？

He attempted to stand, but the swaying of the room brought him back to the floor. He managed to catch himself on his hands so his nose didn’t break against the hardwood. The wood dug into his knees and palms uncomfortably, but he still crawled forward after Yoichi. 
他试图站起来，但房间的摇晃又将他拽回地面。他用手撑住自己，避免了鼻子撞上硬木地板。木头硌得他的膝盖和手掌生疼，但他仍匍匐着向Yoichi爬去。

“Where are you going?”
“你要去哪儿？”

His voice was rushed and ridden with anxiety. It sounded foreign coming from his throat. He sounded pathetic and lost but all he could focus on was getting Yoichi to stay. Stay with him. Feel his lips on his own again. Be bitten into and bleed into his mouth and leave lasting memories in Yoichi’s brain that could mirror his own. 
他的声音急促而充满焦虑，从喉咙里发出时显得陌生。他听起来可怜又迷茫，但此刻他唯一能专注的，就是让Yoichi留下。留下来陪他。再次感受他的唇贴在自己的唇上。被咬破，鲜血流入彼此的口中，在Yoichi的脑海中留下深刻的记忆，与自己的记忆相映成辉。

Yoichi turned back and looked at him with an amused glint in his eye. He probably looked like a mess in his drunken stupor with his hair barely staying in its bun as he moved on his hands and knees. But he couldn’t care like he would if he was coherent. Anything to have Yoichi look at him. Anything to have Yoichi stay.
Yoichi 转过身，眼中闪过一丝玩味的光芒，看着他。他大概在醉酒的恍惚中看起来一团糟，头发几乎要从发髻中散落，手脚并用爬行。但若是清醒时，他才不会在意这些。只要能让Yoichi 看他一眼，只要能让Yoichi 留下，什么都无所谓。

“I have people waiting for me. I lied and said I was going to the bathroom. They’ll probably start looking for me soon.”
“有人在等我。我撒谎说要去洗手间。他们可能很快就会开始找我了。”

Kaiser clicked his tongue in his mouth in disapproval. Yoichi was leaving. He couldn’t do anything about it. He slowly sat back on his thighs; dusting his hands off on his robe before getting into a proper sitting position. Well, as proper as it could have been in his state. 
Kaiser 不满地咂了咂嘴。Yoichi 要走了。他无能为力。他缓缓坐回大腿上，拍了拍手上的灰尘，然后调整成一个还算端正的坐姿。好吧，以他现在的状态，这已经算是尽可能得体了。

One knee was raised in front of him as his other leg laid out straight. His wrists rested on his knee as he continued to stare up at Yoichi. 
一条腿屈膝立于身前，另一条腿则伸直平放。他手腕搭在膝上，继续仰望着Yoichi。

“Also, I don’t forgive you.” The light of the hallway casted a glow around Yoichi’s figure. It was as unsettling as it was captivating, “Kissing me once doesn’t make the shitty stuff you did go away. Prove that this wasn’t you acting on drunken impulses, or I will seriously ruin your life.”
“还有，我不会原谅你。”走廊的灯光在Yoichi的身影周围投下了一圈光晕。这既令人不安又迷人，“亲我一次并不能抹去你做的那些烂事。证明这不是你酒后冲动的行为，否则我会彻底毁了你的生活。”

The previous traces of teasing joy were no longer in Yoichi’s voice. His words bordered on a threat, which only made Kaiser’s heart leap. 
Yoichi的声音中已不见先前戏谑的欢愉。他的话语近乎威胁，反倒让Kaiser的心跳加速。

“Oh Yoichi, haven’t you ever heard that drunken actions are sober thoughts?”
“哦Yoichi，你没听说过酒后吐真言吗？”

The boy in the doorway rolled his eyes before stepping into the hallway; the door shutting loudly behind him. Kaiser continued to stare at the closed door. Half of his mind was struggling to comprehend that he definitely just made a complete fool out of himself. The other half, however, was only able to focus on the phantom feeling of Yoichi’s teeth on his lip and nails in his skin. 
门口的男孩翻了个白眼，随后踏入走廊；门在他身后重重关上。Kaiser继续盯着紧闭的门。一半的思绪在努力理解自己刚刚绝对出尽了洋相。然而另一半，却只能专注于唇上Yoichi牙齿的幻觉和皮肤上指甲的触感。

Groaning, he fell onto his back and stared at the now moving lights on the ceiling. This hangover was going to be a bitch. 
他呻吟着仰面倒下，盯着天花板上此刻移动的灯光。这宿醉可真够受的。

_____

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
搞什么鬼搞什么鬼搞什么鬼搞什么鬼

Isagi’s thoughts only consisted of these three words as he walked back to the room with his waiting friends. His face burned as he remembered the look Kaiser gave him from the floor and the intensity of that kiss. What a fucking 180 from the other day! Do people kiss like that all the time?! How are they supposed to focus on anything else during the day instead of just replaying those memories over and over?!
Isagi的脑海中只剩下这三个字，他带着等待的朋友们走回房间。想起Kaiser从地板上投来的目光和那个吻的激烈程度，他的脸颊发烫。这他妈的跟前几天简直是 180 度大转弯！人们平时都这么接吻吗？！他们白天怎么可能专注于其他事情，而不一遍又一遍地重温那些记忆呢？！

Now he’s not going to be able to sleep for a completely different reason!
现在他因为完全不同的原因睡不着了！

Still, he knows Kaiser was drunk but seeing him act in a way so different than his usual demeanor made his chest tighten. It’s correct to assume that Kaiser definitely likes him back. Right? Yeah. Totally. Isagi made a small fist in victory at his side as he approached the door. 
尽管如此，他知道Kaiser喝醉了，但看到他表现得如此不同于平时的举止，他的心不由得紧缩起来。可以肯定的是，Kaiser绝对也喜欢他，对吧？没错，绝对是的。Isagi走近门口时，在身侧悄悄握紧了拳头，心中暗自庆祝胜利。

Even if they did kiss again and Kaiser basically confessed to him, does that even change anything? Kaiser is still a piece of shit. An attractive and charming piece of shit. Ugh. He can’t let his brain be swayed so easily!
即使他们再次接吻，Kaiser 基本上向他表白了，这又能改变什么呢？Kaiser 依然是个混蛋。一个迷人又吸引人的混蛋。呃。他不能这么轻易地被自己的脑子左右！

Everything will probably be up to tomorrow and if Kaiser actually does what Isagi told him to do. Is it even possible for Kaiser to admit he did something wrong and apologize? 
一切大概都要等到明天，如果Kaiser真的按照Isagi的指示去做的话。Kaiser真的有可能承认自己做错了并道歉吗？

Wait. He didn’t even apologize before they kissed or after! He wasn’t sorry at all! Isagi slapped a hand over his face as he entered the room to a screaming group of boys huddled together in the center. The noise caused Isagi to jump into a defensive position as he screamed in return.  
等等。他们在接吻之前他甚至没有道歉，之后也没有！他根本不觉得抱歉！Isagi 一进房间就用手捂住脸，面对一群在中央挤作一团尖叫的男孩。这噪音让 Isagi 跳起来摆出防御姿势，尖叫着回应。

“WHAT THE FUCK!” “搞什么鬼！”

“KILL YOURSELF ISAGI!” “去死吧 ISAGI！”

“WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!”
“我到底做了什么？！”

“WE THOUGHT YOU WERE A DEMON!”
“我们以为你是恶魔！”

Isagi took a deep breath before walking into the room. A tense scene from the horror film played on the screen. The music sent goosebumps down his back as he sat in his previous position next to Kurona. His friend’s face scrunched in his sleep as he threatened to wake from the noise. Isagi put a finger to his lips and let out a harsh ‘shush’ that his friend’s rolled their eyes at.
Isagi 深吸一口气，走进房间。恐怖电影中的紧张场景在屏幕上播放。音乐让他脊背发凉，他坐在库罗娜旁边的旧位置上。朋友在睡梦中皱起脸，似乎要被噪音吵醒。Isagi 将手指放在唇边，发出一声严厉的‘嘘’，朋友们对此翻了个白眼。

“You guys are so fucking stupid. Demons aren’t real! And they definitely wouldn’t be haunting Blue Lock!”
“你们真是蠢到家了。恶魔根本不存在！更别说它们会缠上蓝色监狱了！”

Hiori’s face took on a teasing glint as he leaned forward from the huddle. 
Hiori 的脸从人群中探出，带着一丝戏谑的光芒。

“Ya they are! Are ya forgetting Kaiser exists?”
“是啊，他们就是！你忘了Kaiser的存在吗？”

A flush took over Isagi’s face from the unexpected mention of the name. Hiori laughed before ruffling his hair.
Isagi的脸因意外提及这个名字而泛红。Hiori 笑了起来，揉乱了他的头发。

“As if ya could forget about him.”
“好像你能忘记他似的。”

Isagi slapped his friend’s hand away from his head, a scowl appearing under his blush,“Hiori I will fucking kill you.”
Isagi 啪地一声拍开朋友伸向自己脑袋的手，脸颊泛红下隐现怒容，“Hiori，我他妈要杀了你。”

Raichi looked at him from behind Hiori’s shoulder. His mouth was agape and his eyes looked like they were on the verge of tears,“Isagi. Bro. Don’t tell me.”
雷一从日织的肩后望向他，嘴巴微张，眼中泪光闪烁，“Isagi。哥，别告诉我。”

Isagi was continuing to fight off Hiori’s hands as he tried his best to avert the topic, “It’s nothing Raichi.”
Isagi 正尽力避开日织的手，试图转移话题，“没什么啦，来栖。”

“Do you actually have a crush on that bastard?!”
“你该不会真的喜欢上那个混蛋了吧？！”

Igaguri’s mouth dropped as Raichi stated the obvious, “What?! Isagi you traitor!”
伊加古里的嘴巴张大了，当来知说出显而易见的事实，“什么？！Isagi 你这个叛徒！”

The victim of the betrayal gained a deadly look in his eye, “Hiori, run.”
背叛的受害者眼中闪过一丝致命的寒光，“日织，快跑。”

Both boys were on their feet and were soon dashing around the screening room. Hiori’s smile took up the majority of his face as he jumped behind tables and used chairs as obstacles to keep Isagi at a distance. Isagi’s face was heated with embarrassment as he tried to grab his friend. It was humiliating having his crush exposed to his friend group, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry. 
两个男孩都站了起来，很快就在放映室里四处奔跑。Hiori 的笑容占据了大部分脸庞，他跳过桌子，用椅子作为障碍物，试图与Isagi保持距离。Isagi的脸因尴尬而发烫，他努力去抓他的朋友。被朋友团体揭露自己的暗恋对象是件丢脸的事，但他却无法生起气来。

As his hands locked onto Hiori’s shoulders and began to shake him, his feeling of humiliation morphed into a joy that left him laughing. 
当他的双手紧扣住 Hiori 的肩膀并开始摇晃时，那份屈辱感转变成了让他放声大笑的喜悦。

At least until the demon showed itself on the screen again and earned another scream from the entire room. They all turned to look at Kurona’s sleeping form with bated breath as their hearts calmed. The boy turned again in his sleep, but he showed no signs of waking. This kid could probably sleep through a tornado. 
至少在屏幕上再次出现恶魔并引发全屋尖叫之前，他们的心跳都平复了下来。所有人都屏息凝视着库罗娜熟睡的身影。男孩在睡梦中又翻了个身，但丝毫没有醒来的迹象。这孩子大概能在龙卷风中酣睡。

The group sighed; Isagi’s grip on his friend’s shoulders dropping. Hiori fixed the collar of his shirt and attempted to smooth out the creases as he leaned to Isagi’s ear. 
众人叹息；Isagi松开了搭在朋友肩上的手。Hiori 整理了一下衬衫领子，试图抚平褶皱，然后凑近Isagi的耳边。

“Ya didn’t actually go to the bathroom, did ya?”
“你其实没真的去洗手间，对吧？”

The blush from before returned in full force. Isagi didn’t even attempt to make eye contact as the memories flooded back to him. 
之前的红晕再次全面袭来。Isagi甚至没有试图对视，记忆如潮水般涌回他的脑海。

“Shut up.” “闭嘴。”

A pat hit his back as Hiori picked up a sugar free cookie from the pile next to him, “I’m trusting ya told him off before ya went to town on him though, right?”
Hiori 从他旁边的一堆无糖饼干中拿起一块，拍了拍他的背，“我相信你在对他大展身手之前已经训过他了，对吧？”

“Jesus christ no going to town happened! Oh my God.” Isagi’s face fell into his hands as his head threatened to explode from the heat. He continued to speak from behind his palms, “He should, hopefully, apologize to Kurona tomorrow though. Hopefully. If that’s even possible for him.”
“天哪，没去成镇上！哦，我的上帝。”Isagi的脸埋进了双手，脑袋因热度而几欲爆炸。他继续从手掌后说道，“希望他明天能向 Kurona 道歉吧。希望如此。如果他还有可能的话。”

“Jeeeeez. How good are ya that ya managed to rewrite his entire character?”
“天哪。你到底有多厉害，居然能重塑他整个角色？”

A harsh slap hit the back of the cyan hair’s head. 
一记重重的耳光打在了青色头发的后脑勺上。

“I said nothing like that happened! Knock it off you sadistic asshole.”
“我说了什么都没发生！别再这样了，你这个变态混蛋。”

“Okay okay I believe ya.”The smile on Hirori’s face faltered as he turned to properly face his friend, “You know what you’re doing?.”
“好好好，我相信你。”广利转过身正视朋友时，脸上的笑容有些动摇，“你知道自己在做什么吗？”

Isagi looked at his friend with a tilted head. It was a loaded question, even if it seemed simple at first glance. What exactly was he doing with Kaiser? Was it technically even anything at all? They’ve kissed twice and have somewhat confessed to each other? Kind of???
Isagi 歪着头看向他的朋友。这个问题意味深长，即便乍一看似乎很简单。他到底和 Kaiser 在做什么？严格来说，这算得上是某种关系吗？他们已经亲吻了两次，并且或多或少地向对方表白了？算是吧？？？

What were they supposed to do now? They only have another week or so before the final game against pxg and the NEL ends. Kaiser leaves to go back to Germany after that. They’ll be thousands of miles away from each other and swamped in training for the world cup. 
他们现在该怎么办？距离与 pxg 的决赛和 NEL 结束只剩下一周左右的时间。Kaiser 之后就要回德国了。他们将相隔千里，各自沉浸在世界杯的训练中。

Is there an end goal here? What does Isagi expect to happen once they’re separated? 
这里有一个最终目标吗？一旦他们被分开，Isagi期望会发生什么？

The idea of having Kaiser as a boyfriend made him feel nauseous. The idea of introducing him to his parents made him want to tie a noose. So what exactly was he doing?
拥有Kaiser作为男朋友的想法让他感到恶心。把他介绍给父母的念头让他想打个绳结。那么他到底在做什么呢？

“I’m just having fun, I think.”
“我只是觉得好玩。”

“Fun with Michael Kaiser is certainly a choice.”
“与Michael Kaiser一起玩确实是个不错的选择。”

“Yeah…I’ll be fine though. I’ll make sure of it.”
“是啊……不过我会没事的。我保证。”

“I’ll hold ya to that.”
“我可记住你这话了。”

The two went to shake hands on the deal, only to be interrupted by another scream of the demon. If thoughts of the demon Michael Kaiser didn’t keep Isagi awake that night, terrors of the one on screen definitely will.
两人正要握手成交，却被恶魔的另一声尖叫打断。如果恶魔Michael Kaiser的想法那晚没能让Isagi保持清醒，那么屏幕上的那个恐怖存在绝对会让他彻夜难眠。

__

Isagi woke up with a sore back and strained neck. The floor under him was hard as he tried to rotate to go back to sleep. His knee bumping into another body finally forced him to sit up and open his eyes. 
Isagi 醒来时，背部酸痛，脖子僵硬。他试图翻身继续入睡，但地板坚硬如石。膝盖撞到另一具身体，最终迫使他坐起身来，睁开双眼。

The only ones left in the room were himself, Kurona, and Raichi. Everyone else must have either gone back to their rooms after the final movie, or woken up in the middle of the night and left on their own. Rubbing the back of his neck, Isagi wished he was one of them. It’s not his fault that My Neighbor Totoro was so calming!
房间里只剩下他、Kurona 和 Raichi。其他人要么在最后一部电影结束后回了自己的房间，要么半夜醒来后自行离开。Isagi揉着后颈，希望自己也是其中一员。这可不是他的错，《龙猫》就是那么让人心平气和！

He picked up his phone that was flipped over next to him. His eyes widened at the 1:14 pm on his screen. When was the last time he ever slept past 8 am? Hopefully his sleep schedule wouldn’t become messed up as a result. 
他拿起旁边倒扣着的手机，屏幕上显示的 1:14 pm 让他瞪大了眼睛。他上次睡过 8 点是什么时候？希望这次不会因此打乱他的作息。

The red marking in the top corner on the battery made him curse at himself for not plugging it in before he passed out. Between the meeting with Kaiser and the three movies watched after The Conjuring, he wasn’t exactly focused on his phone. Glancing down, he was met with a handful of notifications.
电池顶部角落的红色标记让他懊恼不已，责怪自己昏倒前没有及时充电。与Kaiser的会面以及在《招魂》之后连看的三部电影，让他根本无暇顾及手机。低头一看，屏幕上弹出一大堆通知。

A good morning text from his mom. 
妈妈发来的早安短信。

A few twitch notifications of streamers that he followed saying they went live. 
他关注的几个主播直播开始的抖动通知。

An unread message on twitter from a certain blonde asshole. 
来自某个金发混蛋的未读推特消息。

It was embarrassing how quickly he clicked on the last bubble. The message was sent in German which made Isagi’s head hurt to read first thing in the morning. He was just glad there was an auto translate feature in the app. 
他点击最后一个气泡的速度之快令人尴尬。消息是用德语发送的，这让Isagi一大早读起来就头疼。他很庆幸这个应用有自动翻译功能。

mkaiser10: do i seriously have to
mkaiser10:我真的必须这么做吗

An amused breath left Isagi’s mouth as he typed his reply. At least the bastard didn’t forget. 
Isagi轻笑一声，开始输入回复。至少那混蛋还没忘记。

Isagiyoi11: yes. and be sincere. 
Isagiyoi11: 是的。而且要真诚。

Isagiyoi11: actually is that even possible for you
Isagiyoi11: 实际上，对你来说这可能吗

isagiyoi11: at least don’t look like you want to kill yourself when you do it
isagiyoi11: 至少别看起来像是要自杀一样

Isagiyoi11: and don’t insult him again when you do it or i will skin you alive (in game)
Isagiyoi11: 动手时别再侮辱他，否则我会在游戏里把你活剥了

A reply bubble formed almost immediately. 
回复气泡几乎立刻出现了。

mkaiser10: fine. whatever.
mkaiser10: 好吧。随便。

isagiyoi11: wow you can actually listen
isagiyoi11: 哇，你真的能听进去啊

isagiyoi11: can you bark and roll over too
isagiyoi11: 你能叫和打滚吗

mkaiser10: holy fuck  mkaiser10: 我靠

mkaiser10: kill yourself (in real life)
mkaiser10: 去死吧（现实中的）

mkaiser10: can it just be me and the runt or do i need an audience
mkaiser10: 就我和小家伙行不行，还是需要观众在场

isagiyoi11: just me and him. I need to make sure you actually do it and aren’t an asshole
isagiyoi11: 就我和他。我得确保你真的去做，而不是个混蛋。

isagiyoi11: but having you apologize in front of the entire cafeteria is extremely appealing
isagiyoi11: 但让你在全食堂面前道歉，真是太诱人了。

mkaiser10: no.  mkaiser10: 不。

isagiyoi11: yeah yeah i know
isagiyoi11: 是是，我知道了

isagiyoi11: meet us in the lounge in like
isagiyoi11: 在休息室见，大概

isagiyoi11: a hour  isagiyoi11: 一小时后

isagiyoi11: hes still sleeping
isagiyoi11: 他还在睡

mkaiser10: ?  mkaiser10: ？

mkaiser10: wake him up????
mkaiser10: 叫醒他？？？

isagiyoi11: no  isagiyoi11: 不

isagiyoi11: bye  isagiyoi11: 再见

mkaiser10: ?????  mkaiser10: ？？？？？

Another bubble began to appear, but Isagi closed the app. He didn’t need Kaiser nagging him right after he woke up. The original message was sent three hours ago. Isagi wondered if Kaiser spent all of that time staring at his phone and waiting. The thought of an impatient 19 year old twiddling his thumbs as he waited for a text back made him laugh quietly to himself. His smile fell when he realized what he was laughing about.
又一个气泡开始出现，但Isagi关闭了应用。他不需要Kaiser在他刚醒来时就唠叨他。原始消息是三小时前发送的。Isagi想知道Kaiser是否花了所有时间盯着手机等待。想到一个不耐烦的 19 岁少年在等待回复时无聊地摆弄手指，他不禁暗自发笑。当他意识到自己在笑什么时，笑容消失了。

God. He was imagining Kaiser is a somewhat domestic situation and smiling to himself about it. Jesus christ. 
天啊。他竟然在想象Kaiser处于某种家庭场景中，还为此暗自微笑。耶稣基督啊。

“Morning , morning.” Kurona rubbed his eyes as he finally sat up on the floor. Looking around the room, his eyebrow raised in confusion, “I fell asleep during the movie?”
“早上好，早上好。”久野揉着眼睛，终于从地板上坐了起来。环顾房间，他困惑地挑起眉毛，“我看电影时睡着了？”

Isagi’s hand reached out to ruffle his friend’s bed head out of impulse, “Morning. Yeah. So did I, which is why we were abandoned here.”
Isagi的手不由自主地伸出去揉了揉朋友的乱发，“早啊。是啊。我也一样，所以我们才被丢在这儿。”

“Harsh, harsh.” ““严厉，太严厉了。””

Isagi shrugged before stretching out his limbs and standing up, “You looked too peaceful to wake up and send to your dorm. Are you sore?”
“Isagi耸了耸肩，伸展四肢后站了起来，“你看起来太安详了，不忍心叫醒你送回宿舍。你酸痛吗？””

Kurona’s eyes looked to the ceiling as he rolled his neck, “No. I’m okay.”
库罗娜的目光投向天花板，他转动着脖子，“不，我没事。”

“Good. Also, uh..” “好。还有，呃……”

The realization that he needed to explain this entire situation to Kurona hit him all at once. Surely he won’t need to explain everything. Just the main key points. Like the apology. Surely Kurona won’t ask why. Or how. Or further explanation. Surely.
意识到他需要向 Kurona 解释整个情况，这一念头突然袭来。当然，他不需要解释所有细节。只需抓住关键点。比如道歉。Kurona 肯定不会问为什么。也不会问如何。更不会要求进一步解释。肯定不会。

“What is it?” “这是什么？”

“We are meeting with Kaiser in like an hour.”
“我们大概一小时后和Kaiser见面。”

Kurona blinked and rubbed his eyes again to make sure he was properly awake,“Huh?”
Kurona 眨了眨眼，再次揉了揉眼睛，确保自己完全清醒，“嗯？”

“He’s going to apologize.”
“他会道歉的。”

Hands now slapped the side of the shark’s cheeks as he held eye contact with his friend, “Run that back for me, me?”
手拍打着鲨鱼的脸颊，他保持着与朋友的目光接触，“再说一遍，我？”

“I got him to agree to apologize to you.”
“我让他同意向你道歉了。”

The two stared at each other in silence. Isagi couldn’t blame his friend for the reaction. It sounded insane. Kaiser apologizing is something that would only happen if Hell itself was threatened with an ice age. Still, despite the obvious amazement, Kurona didn’t doubt what he was being told.
两人默默对视。Isagi无法责怪朋友这般反应，这听起来确实疯狂。Kaiser道歉这种事，恐怕只有地狱面临冰河世纪的威胁时才会发生。尽管显而易见地惊讶，Kurona 却并未怀疑所听之言的真实性。

“You didn’t have to-”
“你不必——”

Isagi waved his hand in front of his face to cut him off, “I did. Well. He does. I’m just forcing him to do it. He was a piece of shit to you and you deserve an apology.”
Isagi 在他面前挥手打断他，“我确实做了。嗯。他会的。我只是逼他这么做。他对你太差劲了，你应该得到一个道歉。”

“What about your apology? He was way worse to you. Yeah, yeah.”
“那你的道歉呢？他对你的态度更恶劣。是啊，是啊。”

Right. There’s also that part that Isagi completely forgot about when Kaiser was looking at him like that. Him crawling on his knees when Isagi was trying to leave could basically serve as an apology from how rewarding it was to see. He couldn’t exactly tell that to Kurona though, so he just shrugged and ignored the heat that threatened to rise up his neck from the memory.
对。还有Isagi完全忘记的那部分，当Kaiser那样看着他时。他跪着爬行，当Isagi试图离开时，那几乎可以算作一种道歉，因为看到这一幕是如此令人满足。但他无法确切地告诉 Kurona 这些，所以他只是耸了耸肩，忽略了记忆中那股威胁要涌上脖子的热意。

“I’ll get that at some point. Hopefully. I think. But we are focused on you right now. I can’t promise how apologetic he’ll be about it though.”
“我会在某个时候解决的。希望如此。我想。但我们现在专注于你。不过我不能保证他会对此有多么歉意。”

Kurona continued to look at him with wide eyes. 
库罗娜继续睁大眼睛看着他。

“You are like a planet, Isagi.”
“你就像一颗行星，Isagi。”

Isagi looked down at his friend with an amused expression, “What are you talking about?”
Isagi 低头看着他的朋友，脸上带着一丝玩味的表情，“你在说什么呢？”

A light redness showed on Kurona’s cheeks as he averted his gaze. His hands fiddled with his braid as he thought over his words, “Well, well. You just have such a presence to you and you make such a strong impact on everyone around you. It’s like a gravitational pull, pull.” Kurona looked back up at him with a small smile, “I’m really glad I could be one of your moons.”
库罗娜的脸颊泛起淡淡的红晕，他移开视线，双手摆弄着自己的辫子，思索着措辞，“嗯，嗯。你身上有种气场，对周围的人影响很大。就像引力一样，吸引着大家。”库罗娜重新抬头看向他，露出一丝微笑，“能成为你的卫星之一，我真的很高兴。”

Blue eyes blinked down at his friend as the words processed in his head, “Kurona, are you trying to make me cry?”
蓝眼睛眨了眨，看着他的朋友，脑海中处理着这些话，“库罗娜，你是想让我哭吗？”

“What? No, no!” “什么？不，不！”

Isagi laughed and pulled his friend to his feet. Kurona wasn’t one to be outspoken about his emotions. The majority of his thoughts stayed locked in his head for no one else to hear. Even for Isagi, who had quickly become close friends with him, heart to heart conversations still weren’t all that common. 
Isagi 笑了起来，将朋友拉起身。Kurona 不是一个善于表达情感的人。他大部分的想法都深藏心底，无人能听。即使是 Isagi，这个与他迅速成为挚友的人，心与心的交流也并不常见。

To Kurona, this may have just been a small compliment that he didn’t think much of before saying. But Isagi’s heart swelled at the fact that he was now one step closer in knowing the inner workings of his friend. 
对 Kurona 来说，这可能只是一个随口的小小赞美，说出口前并未多想。但 Isagi 的心中却因意识到自己更进一步了解朋友的内心而感到充实。

“Come on, let's get ready. I’m starving.”
“快点，我们准备出发吧。我饿死了。”

“Okay, okay. You can tell me how you convinced the most prideful person to apologize to someone like me.”
“好吧，好吧。你可以告诉我，你是怎么说服那个最骄傲的人向我这样的人道歉的。”

Blush soon returned to Isagi’s face as he rubbed the back of his neck,“Haha ! Would you believe if I said I just asked nicely?”
Isagi的脸颊很快又泛起了红晕，他揉着后颈，“哈哈！如果我说我只是好好请求了，你会相信吗？”

Kurona looked at him with a deadpan expression,“No.”
Kurona 面无表情地看着他，“不。”

“Fuck.” “操。”

Isagi did his best to explain what occurred the night before without including any of the fine details. Unfortunately, there was no way for him to avoid the fact that he basically bribed Kaiser with another kiss in the future in order to get him to apologize. By the end of his rambling, his face was the shade of Kurona’s hair and he couldn’t look his friend in the eye.
Isagi 尽力解释了前一晚发生的事情，但没有透露任何细节。不幸的是，他无法避免这样一个事实：他基本上是用未来再亲一次的承诺来贿赂Kaiser，以让他道歉。到最后，他的脸红得像 Kurona 的头发一样，不敢直视朋友。

“Dude, dude.” “兄弟，兄弟。”

“Don’t say anything.” “什么都别说。”

“Face the wall. Execution time.”
“面壁，行刑时刻。”

Hanging his head in shame, Isagi turned his back and faced the wall with his hands behind his back. 
羞愧地低下头，Isagi转身背对，双手背在身后，面壁而立。

“Pow pow! Dead for the crime of having romantic feelings for a German.”
“砰砰！因对德国人产生浪漫情感而罪该万死。”

Hearing the term ‘romantic’ made Isagi cringe as he turned back around. 
听到‘浪漫’这个词，Isagi不禁皱眉，转身回去。

“I don’t even want to call it romantic because I’d rather die than go on, like, an actual date with him. Or call him my boyfriend.”
“我甚至不想称之为浪漫，因为我宁愿死也不想和他去真正的约会，或者称他为我的男朋友。”

“I didn’t think you were the type to sleep around, Isagi.”
“没想到你是那种会随便跟人上床的人，Isagi。”

The two jumped from the addition of Raichi’s voice from the floor. 
两人被从地板上传来的莱一的声音吓了一跳。

“When did you wake up?!”
“你什么时候醒的？！”

“I’ve been up. I heard it all. I wish I was born deaf. Kurona, can you shoot me too so I don’t have to live the rest of my life knowing this information?”
“我一直醒着。全听见了。真希望我生来就是聋的。库罗娜，你能也给我一枪吗？这样我就不用带着这些记忆活下去了。”

“For sure.” Kurona made his hands into finger guns and pointed them at Raichi on the floor, “Bam bam!”
“当然。”库罗娜双手比成手枪状，指向地板上的来栖，“砰砰！”

Raichi feigned a dead expression as he lay flat on the ground. 
雷一志装作一副死相，平躺在地上。

“Also, I’m not sleeping around. Asshole. I’d need to be interested in at least two people. I think.”
“还有，我不是随便乱睡的。混蛋。我至少得对两个人感兴趣吧。我想。”

“Still, settling on Kaiser when probably every other guy in this place would go for you is insane.”
“不过，在这儿大概其他每个男的都会追你，你却选了Kaiser，真是疯了。”

First Yukimiya and Hiori, now Raichi too? Why were so many people convinced he was sought after by tons of guys? He’s never even received a chocolate on Valentine’s day!
先是雪见和日织，现在连来栖也这样？为什么这么多人都坚信他被无数男生追求？他连情人节都没收到过巧克力！

“No they fucking wouldn’t stop being weird.”
“不，他们他妈的就是不会停止犯傻。”

“This place is basically your harem.”
“这里基本上就是你的后宫了。”

“Kill yourself. Are you coming with us to get lunch or no?”
“你自己解决吧。跟不跟我们去吃午饭？”

“Yeah yeah.” “是是。”

The three left the screening room and continued to bicker about Isagi’s poor taste in men until they were stuffing their faces in the cafeteria. Even though it was a break day, it seemed the majority of players in the stratum were focused on their own individual training. Hopefully this would mean there was less of a chance of the apology being witnessed by other people. 
三人离开放映室，继续争论着Isagi糟糕的择偶品味，直到他们在食堂大快朵颐。尽管今天是休息日，但似乎大部分玩家都在专注自己的训练。希望这意味着道歉被他人目睹的几率会小一些。

The fact that Kaiser agreed to it at all is still insane to think about. But even if Isagi would love to humiliate him in front of everyone by making the apology public, he knew it wasn’t worth it. He will take the tiny victory as long as it makes Kurona happy and makes Kaiser feel shame. 
Kaiser竟然同意了这件事，光是想想都觉得不可思议。但即便Isagi想通过公开道歉来让他当众出丑，他也明白这不值得。只要能让 Kurona 开心，让Kaiser感到羞愧，他愿意接受这小小的胜利。

Time passed quickly after they ate and got properly ready for the day. When the two finally made it to the lounge, Kaiser was already sitting spread across on the couch with an irritated look on his face. Dark circles were plastered under his eyes and his skin was flushed in the yellow lighting. His arms were crossed over his chest as he stared at the ceiling. 
他们吃完早餐并准备好一天的事务后，时间飞逝。当两人终于来到休息室时，Kaiser已经摊坐在沙发上，脸上带着不悦的表情。他的眼底布满黑眼圈，在黄色灯光下，皮肤显得泛红。他双臂交叉抱在胸前，盯着天花板。

The entrance of the two players made his eyes dart towards the door. It shouldn’t have been possible for his face to sour even further, but this guy always loves to make the impossible the reality. 
两位选手的入场让他的目光瞬间投向门口。他的脸色本不该再难看下去，但这家伙总是喜欢把不可能变为现实。

“Took you two long enough.”
“你们俩可真够慢的。”

Isagi glanced at the clock on the wall and rolled his eyes.
Isagi 瞥了一眼墙上的时钟，翻了个白眼。

“It hasn’t even been an hour since I texted you. We’re technically early.”
“我给你发消息还不到一小时。我们实际上算早到的。”

“The fact that I’m here before you says otherwise.”
“我比你先到的事实已经说明了一切。”

“Yeah, it says you’re an impatient fuck.”
“是啊，上面说你是个急躁的混蛋。”

“You little-” “你这个小-”

“Guys, guys.” “伙计们，伙计们。”

Kurona waved his hands between the two to stop their bickering. Seriously, would it ever be possible for them to have a normal conversation? This situation is only happening because Isagi said they could have a third kiss yet they’re incapable of talking without insulting each other. Isagi apologized quietly under his breath to his friend who patted him on the back in forgiveness. 
Kurona 在两人之间挥手，试图阻止他们的争吵。说真的，他们能有一次正常对话吗？这种情况的发生，全因Isagi说他们可以有第三次亲吻，但他们却无法不互相侮辱地交谈。Isagi低声向朋友道歉，朋友则拍了拍他的背以示原谅。

The braided boy turned the one still taking up the entire space of the sofa. 
编着辫子的男孩转向那个仍占据着沙发整个空间的另一个人。

“Your turn. Up,up.” “轮到你了。起来，起来。”

Kaiser groaned dramatically as he pulled himself up from the couch. As he stood, his eyes danced around the room to avoid the two boys in front of him. His hand rested on his hip as the other scratched at the base of his neck anxiously. Silence stretched between the group as they waited for Kaiser to speak. 
Kaiser 夸张地呻吟着，从沙发上挣扎起身。他站起来时，眼睛四处游移，避开面前两个男孩的目光。一只手搭在胯上，另一只则不安地挠着颈根。沉默在众人之间蔓延，等待着Kaiser开口。

After about 30 seconds of nothing, Isagi coughed into his fist before making a hurry up motion with his hands. A vein on Kaiser’s forehead twitched as he pinched his skin. Taking a deep breath, he finally managed to make eye contact with Kurona. 
大约 30 秒的沉默后，Isagi清了清嗓子，用拳头捂住嘴，然后急切地挥了挥手。Kaiser的额头上青筋跳动，他捏了捏自己的皮肤。深吸一口气后，他终于与 Kurona 对上了视线。

“I’m sorry.” “对不起。”

Isagi crossed his arms over his chest and leaned forward, “For?”
Isagi 交叉双臂于胸前，身体前倾，“为了？”

The hand on Kaiser’s hip balled into a fist as his eyes darkened, “Are you serious? I’m not five.”
Kaiser腰间的手紧握成拳，眼神阴沉下来，“你是认真的吗？我又不是五岁小孩。”

“So stop acting like it. Apologize like a grown up.”
“所以别再装了。像个成年人一样道歉。”

Kaiser rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath, “Jesus Christ okay. Fine. Okay.” Straightening his posture, he attempted his apology again, “I’m sorry for the comments that I made at you. Please accept my humble apology.” His voice lacked any emotion as he spoke, causing Isagi’s eyebrow to twitch.
Kaiser翻了个白眼，低声咕哝道：“耶稣基督，好吧。行。好吧。”他挺直身子，再次尝试道歉：“我为对你说的话感到抱歉。请接受我诚挚的歉意。”他的声音毫无感情，这让Isagi的眉毛不由自主地抽动了一下。

Sure, he apologized (kind of) but it seriously was just empty words. This was the best they were probably going to get. His gaze shifted from Kaiser’s annoyed face to Kurona’s calm one. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he thought over a response. 
当然，他道歉了（算是吧），但那真的只是空话。这大概已经是他们能得到的最好结果了。他的目光从Kaiser恼怒的脸上移到 Kurona 平静的脸上。他的下唇被牙齿咬住，思考着如何回应。

“Thanks, but I don’t accept accept.”
“谢谢，但我不会接受。”

Kaiser threw up his hands as his eyes fell back onto Isagi. 
Kaiser 双手一摊，目光再次落回 Isagi 身上。

“What the fuck?!” “搞什么鬼？！”

Isagi only shrugged as he placed an arm around his friend’s shoulder, “I said you had to apologize meaningfully. I never said it would be accepted or that you would be forgiven.”
Isagi 只是耸了耸肩，将手臂搭在朋友的肩上，“我说了你要真诚道歉。我从没说过这会被接受或你会被原谅。”

“Then why the fuck am I here?!”
“那我他妈的为什么在这儿？！”

“To show that your actions have consequences. You still never apologized to me either, you know. Keep it going.”
“为了让你明白行为会有后果。你至今也没向我道过歉，你知道的。继续吧。”

“Holy shit.” “我靠。”

“I’m waiting.” “我在等。”

Kaiser ran his hands down his face as if he was trying to pull off his skin, “Fine. Okay. I’m sorry for being me , Yoichi.”
Kaiser 双手从脸上滑下，仿佛试图扯下自己的皮肤，“好吧。行。对不起，我就是我，Yoichi。”

“Great. Still don’t forgive you.”
“很好。还是不原谅你。”

“Fuck off.” “滚开。”

“You really know how to pick them, Isagi.”
“你真的很会挑人，Isagi。”

Kaiser threw up his arms as his face soured again, “Hey! I’m a catch!”
Kaiser 再次皱起脸，举起双臂，“嘿！我可是抢手货！”

“Like the flu.” “像流感一样。”

“Whatever! I apologized. I’m done. I’m leaving.”
“随便吧！我已经道歉了。我受够了。我要走了。”

Isagi couldn’t help but laugh under his breath as Kaiser stomped out of the lounge. The tips of the man’s ears burned a bright red; he half expected to see steam accompanying the blush. It was a horrible apology and probably the first one he’s ever said in his life. It wasn’t meaningful and there were still bits of malice laced through the words. 
Isagi 忍不住在喉咙里轻笑出声，看着 Kaiser 气冲冲地走出休息室。那人的耳尖烧得通红，他几乎以为会看到蒸汽随着脸红一起冒出来。这是一个糟糕的道歉，可能也是他这辈子第一次说出口。道歉并不真诚，字里行间仍夹杂着恶意。

But it was still an apology that would not have been able to exist less than 24 hours ago. So Isagi guesses it counts for something. 
但这仍然是一个在不到 24 小时前无法存在的道歉。所以 Isagi 认为这还是有意义的。