CHAPTER ONE
第一章

WINTER
冬

“You are staring at him again”, Crystal nudges my arm trying to pull me out of the daze I’ve been in for the past one hour.
“你又盯着他看了”，Crystal轻推我的手臂，试图把我从过去一个小时的发呆中拉出来。

The warmth of the sun coupled by the intense heat today isn’t the only thing making my cheeks red. The men in our pack are training right in front of us which is as per the custom of our pack. My eyes, however, have been stuck on one man.
温暖的阳光加上今天的酷热并不是让我脸颊发红的唯一原因。我们团队中的男人就在我们面前训练，这是按照我们团队的习俗。然而，我的眼睛一直盯着一个人。
温暖的阳光加上今天的酷热并不是让我脸颊发红的唯一原因。我们团队中的男人就在我们面前训练，这是按照我们团队的习俗。然而，我的眼睛一直盯着一个人。

I’m drawn like a moth to a flame at how his broad shoulders and biceps strain against his dark shirt.
我像飞蛾扑火一样被他宽阔的肩膀和二头肌如何与他的深色衬衫相抗衡而被吸引。
我像飞蛾扑火一样被他宽阔的肩膀和二头肌如何与他的深色衬衫相抗衡而被吸引。

How his jet-black hair falls on his forehead messily. How his jaw, the one that looks like it was sculpted by the Goddess herself, is locked and loaded as he focuses on the opponent he’s sparring against.
他乌黑的头发是如何凌乱地落在额头上的。他的下巴，看起来像是女神自己雕刻的下巴，当他专注于他正在对战的对手时，它是如何被锁定和加载的。

Another blush creeps up my neck and Crystal chuckles.
我的脖子上又泛起了红晕，Crystal咯咯地笑了起来。

Deacon Cross is the only man I see. The only man I breathe since I learnt what love is and sadly, my brother’s hot best friend who sees me like his little sister.
克洛斯执事是我看到的唯一一个男人。自从我学会了什么是爱以来，我唯一呼吸的男人，可悲的是，我哥哥最好的朋友，他把我看作他的妹妹。

“I can’t help it, Crys. He’s so handsome”, I sigh dreamily.
“我忍不住了，哭泣。他太帅了”，我梦幻般地叹了口气。

“But he’s also older than you by a lot. Jake would kill you if he knew you were crushing on his best friend.”
“但他也比你年长很多。如果杰克知道你暗恋他最好的朋友，他会杀了你。

Deacon isn’t older than me by a lot. Not if you count seven years as a lot and while my brother is sometimes protective of me, I don’t think anything or anyone would separate me and Deacon if we were to somehow end up as destined mates.
Deacon 并不比我大很多。如果你把七年算作很多，那就不是了，虽然我哥哥有时会保护我，但我认为如果我们以某种方式成为命中注定的伴侣，任何事情或任何人都不会将我和 Deacon 分开。

“It’s not just a hopeless crush, Crystal. How do I explain it? I think we are meant for each other.”
“这不仅仅是一次无可救药的暗恋，Crystal。我该怎么解释呢？我觉得我们是命中注定的。

I can feel it in my bones.
我能从骨子里感觉到它。

I want to believe that the Goddess has been listening to my prayers too.
我愿意相信女神也一直在倾听我的祈祷。

“You mean like what? Mates? Winter, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but Deacon is the Alpha’s son. That title comes with power. His Luna is going to be as powerful as he is.”
“你是说什么？ 伴侣？ 冬天，很抱歉打破了你的泡沫，但 Deacon 是 Alpha 的儿子。那个头衔伴随着力量。他的 Luna 会和他一样强大。
“你是说什么？ 伴侣？ 冬天，很抱歉打破了你的泡沫，但 Deacon 是 Alpha 的儿子。那个头衔伴随着力量。他的 Luna 会和他一样强大。

I’m about to tell Crystal I’ll be powerful in future too but my words die down the minute my brother locks eyes with me.
我正要告诉 Crystal，我将来也会很强大，但我的话在我哥哥与我四目相接的那一刻就消失了。

His opponent, who happens to be Deacon, follows my brother’s line of sight and dark-brown eyes fall on me taking all the breath from my lungs.
他的对手，恰好是迪肯，跟着我哥哥的视线，深棕色的眼睛落在我身上，吸走了我肺里所有的呼吸。
他的对手，恰好是迪肯，跟着我哥哥的视线，深棕色的眼睛落在我身上，吸走了我肺里所有的呼吸。

Deacon is looking at me.
迪肯看着我。

Goddess, the intensity of his stare makes my legs weak.
女神，他强烈的凝视让我的双腿发软。

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I don’t see my furious brother headed toward me in long and brisk strides.
也许这就是我没有看到我愤怒的弟弟大步向我走来的原因之一。
也许这就是我没有看到我愤怒的弟弟大步向我走来的原因之一。

“Winter”, Jacob’s voice pulls me out of my trance. Running his hand in his hair like I exhaust him, he asks, “What are you doing here?”
“冬天”，雅各布的声音把我从恍惚中拉了出来。他用手抚摸着他的头发，就像我让他筋疲力尽一样，他问道，“你在这里做什么？
“冬天”，雅各布的声音把我从恍惚中拉了出来。他用手抚摸着他的头发，就像我让他筋疲力尽一样，他问道，“你在这里做什么？

“I-I wanted to see how your training is going.”
“我——我想看看你的训练进展如何。”

I’ve always been a terrible liar and my brother knows it.
我一直都是个可怕的骗子，我哥哥知道这一点。

“You and Crystal are not supposed to be anywhere near the training grounds. Do mom and dad know you are here?”
“你和Crystal不应该在训练场附近的任何地方。爸爸妈妈知道你在这儿吗？
“你和Crystal不应该在训练场附近的任何地方。爸爸妈妈知道你在这儿吗？

I hate it when he uses that tone. Like I’m a child.
我讨厌他用那种语气。就像我还是个孩子一样。

“I’m eighteen, Jake. Not a kid and I think I have all the rights to go anywhere I want.”
“我十八岁了，杰克。不是个孩子，我认为我有权利去任何我想去的地方。

Crystal pulls me by my shoulders, shooting a nervous chuckle to my brother.
Crystal拉着我的肩膀，对我哥哥发出紧张的笑声。

“We were just leaving.”
“我们就要走了。”

I cast another glance at Deacon who has already moved on from staring at me and is now sparring with another guy I recognize as a beta.
我又看了一眼Deacon，他已经从盯着我看的动作中走了出来，现在正在和另一个我认来是beta的家伙对打。

“You can’t be serious, Winter”, Jake scoffs.
“你不能当真，Winter”，Jake嘲笑道。

I turn my gaze to him, confused,“What?”
我把目光转向他，困惑地说：“什么？

“You are still infatuated with Deacon? And you say you are not a kid?”
“你还迷恋着迪肯？你说你不是个孩子吗？

“What if I am? Infatuated with Deacon I mean?”
“如果我是呢？我是说迷恋Deacon吗？
“如果我是呢？我是说迷恋Deacon吗？

I’m more than infatuated. I’ve been in love with him since I saw him.
我不仅仅是迷恋。自从我见到他以来，我就爱上了他。

“Go home. Right now, Winter.”
“回家吧。现在，Winter。

“I like Deacon, Jake. We could be-“
“我喜欢Deacon，Jake。我们可以——”

“Could be what? Goddess, Winter! You are eighteen, no wolf, no sense of direction; he’s the Alpha’s son. He’ll lead the pack one day and you think you’ll be by his side when he does that? You are young for him. You are too weak for him and this crush you’ve got for Deacon will end in one way. You hurt. I’m only trying to protect you, Win.”
“可能是什么？女神，冬天！你十八岁了，不是狼，没有方向感;他是Alpha的儿子。他总有一天会带头，你觉得当他这样做时你会在他身边吗？你对他来说还年轻。你对他来说太弱了，你对Deacon的迷恋会以一种方式结束。你受伤了。我只是想保护你，Win。

He means well. I know he does. But that doesn’t stop the tears that spring my eyes and burn the back of my throat with malice.
他的用心是好的。我知道他是的。但这并不能阻止我眼中涌出的泪水，用恶意灼伤我的喉咙后部。
他的用心是好的。我知道他是的。但这并不能阻止我眼中涌出的泪水，用恶意灼伤我的喉咙后部。

“Maybe I don’t need protection. Maybe I’m sick of you, dad and mom coddling me like I don’t know what I want.”
“也许我不需要保护。也许我厌倦了你，爸爸和妈妈溺爱我，就像我不知道自己想要什么一样。

I sound like a petulant child.
我听起来像个任性的孩子。

“Go home. We’ll talk about this when I get home.”
“回家吧。我回家后再谈这件事。

It’s Jake’s final word or nothing.
这是 Jake 的最后决定，否则什么都没有。

I blink away tears, turn around and leave with my best friend in tow.
我眨了眨眼泪，转身带着我最好的朋友离开了。

A few minutes later Crystal is looking at me with piteous eyes and I hate it.
几分钟后，Crystal 用可怜的眼神看着我，我讨厌它。

“Winter I- “
“冬天我——”

“I’m going to take a short walk. Thanks for today.”
“我要走一小段路。谢谢今天。

The short walk turns into a run. The tears I had held back from Jake come flowing down my cheeks like water from a broken dam. I swipe away the leaves from the trees blocking my way while every sound my feet makes with the dry earth echoes in the silent woods.
短途的步行变成了跑步。我忍住了Jake的泪水从我的脸颊上流下来，就像决堤的水一样。我擦掉挡住我去路的树叶，而我的脚在干燥的土地上发出的每一个声音都在寂静的树林中回荡。
短途的步行变成了跑步。我忍住了Jake的泪水从我的脸颊上流下来，就像决堤的水一样。我擦掉挡住我去路的树叶，而我的脚在干燥的土地上发出的每一个声音都在寂静的树林中回荡。

I don't know how long I’ve been running but everything comes to a standstill when pain shoots from the base of my spine climbing up my limbs and paralyzing my entire body. I try to breathe but that only makes the burn in my lungs turn fiercer and more painful.
我不知道我跑了多久，但当疼痛从我的脊椎底部射出，爬上我的四肢，使我的整个身体瘫痪时，一切都停了下来。我试着呼吸，但这只会让我肺部的灼热变得更猛烈、更痛苦。
我不知道我跑了多久，但当疼痛从我的脊椎底部射出，爬上我的四肢，使我的整个身体瘫痪时，一切都停了下来。我试着呼吸，但这只会让我肺部的灼热变得更猛烈、更痛苦。

The pounding in my chest brings me to my knees as the word ‘help’ rests on my tongue trying to fight its way out of my lips. Every thought in my mind jumps into the possibility that I might be dying. That would explain the complete loss of strength inside me and the pain that gnaws my body like the fury of the Goddess herself.
胸口的砰砰直跳使我跪了下来，“帮助”这个词停在我的舌头上，试图从我的嘴唇中挤出来。我脑海中的每一个想法都跳入了我可能快死了的可能性。这可以解释我内心完全失去力量，以及像女神本人的愤怒一样啃咬我身体的痛苦。
胸口的砰砰直跳使我跪了下来，“帮助”这个词停在我的舌头上，试图从我的嘴唇中挤出来。我脑海中的每一个想法都跳入了我可能快死了的可能性。这可以解释我内心完全失去力量，以及像女神本人的愤怒一样啃咬我身体的痛苦。

‘Winter.’ A voice in my head calls out. A voice that sounds like me but doesn’t feel like me at the same time.
“冬天。”我脑海中有一个声音在呼唤。一个听起来像我，但同时又不像我的声音。

‘Let me in.’
“让我进来。”

The voice continues and the realization of what is happening nearly knocks the remaining air from my throbbing lungs. The voice, is it my wolf?
声音还在继续，意识到发生了什么，几乎把我悸动的肺里剩下的空气打断了。那个声音，是我的狼吗？

Jake said it would hurt the first time I felt my wolf but I didn’t imagine it would hurt this much. He also said I would hear her talk to me when the time was right but the feeling of listening to my wolf doesn’t compare to anything I’ve experienced in my entire life.
杰克说我第一次感觉到我的狼会很痛，但我没想到会这么痛。他还说我会在适当的时候听到她和我说话，但听我的狼说话的感觉比不上我一生中经历过的任何事情。
杰克说我第一次感觉到我的狼会很痛，但我没想到会这么痛。他还说我会在适当的时候听到她和我说话，但听我的狼说话的感觉比不上我一生中经历过的任何事情。

My hands slap the ground and with pain shooting through every muscle in my body, I look at the skies letting my wolf in.
我的手拍打着地面，疼痛传遍了我身体的每一块肌肉，我看着天空，让我的狼进来。

The pain surges up my limbs, wrapping around my bones as I change. Fur, the same shade as my hair sprouts from my arms and legs and in no time my paws are sinking into the chilled grass.
疼痛涌上我的四肢，随着我的变化缠绕着我的骨头。皮毛，与我的头发一样的色调从我的手臂和腿上发芽，很快我的爪子就陷入了冰冷的草地中。

I breathe in like I’m tasting how air feels like for the first time and everything feels different. Every sound from the woods crashes into my ears and the surge to run while in my wolf forms overwhelms me.
我吸气，就像我第一次品尝到空气的感觉一样，一切都感觉不同了。树林里的每一个声音都撞进了我的耳朵，当我的狼形时，奔跑的涌动让我不知所措。
我吸气，就像我第一次品尝到空气的感觉一样，一切都感觉不同了。树林里的每一个声音都撞进了我的耳朵，当我的狼形时，奔跑的涌动让我不知所措。

I run till I can barely hear the sound of my wolf howling. When the adrenaline rush wears off and my wolf decides that’s enough for the night, I shift back to my human form and the pain is nowhere as crippling as before.
我跑到几乎听不见我的狼嚎声。当肾上腺素的激增消退，我的狼决定这已经足够过夜时，我变回了我的人形，疼痛不再像以前那样严重。
我跑到几乎听不见我的狼嚎声。当肾上腺素的激增消退，我的狼决定这已经足够过夜时，我变回了我的人形，疼痛不再像以前那样严重。

My hands tremble against the grass and the smile on my face wobbles as I try to keep up with what has just happened.
我的手在草地上颤抖，脸上的笑容在我试图跟上刚刚发生的事情时摇晃不定。
我的手在草地上颤抖，脸上的笑容在我试图跟上刚刚发生的事情时摇晃不定。

I’ve barely gathered enough strength to stand up when Deacon’s voice hits me out of nowhere.
我还没积攒足够的力气站起来，这时 Deacon 的声音突然打在我耳中。
我还没积攒足够的力气站起来，这时 Deacon 的声音突然打在我耳中。

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

His voice is deep and gritty, thick and dark like rich melted chocolate.
他的声音低沉而坚韧，像浓郁的融化巧克力一样浑厚而黑暗。
他的声音低沉而坚韧，像浓郁的融化巧克力一样浑厚而黑暗。

I raise my head, my eyes meeting his dark onyx ones.
我抬起头，我的眼睛与他那双深色的缟玛瑙相遇。
我抬起头，我的眼睛与他那双深色的缟玛瑙相遇。

He’s real? And even more than real, a gasp wrenches out of me when he takes off his shirt, kneels in front of me and puts it on my shoulders urging me to wear it. I didn’t even think about the fact that my clothes might have ripped away the minute I shifted into my wolf.
他是真的吗？更令人难以置信的是，当他脱下衬衫，跪在我面前，把它放在我的肩膀上催促我穿上它时，我倒抽了一口气。我什至没有想过，在我换上狼的那一刻，我的衣服可能已经被撕掉了。

“You just got your wolf. It might take a second for you to adjust.”
“你刚刚抓到你的狼。你可能需要一秒钟来适应。

How is he here?
他怎么在这里？

“Okay.”
“好的。”

“Anything hurt?”
“有什么伤吗？”

“No. Yes? Maybe…a little. Everything…smells different. You smell different.”
“没有。 是的？ 或。。。 一点儿。 万事。。。 闻起来不一样。你闻起来不一样。

He smells familiar.
他闻起来很熟悉。
他闻起来很熟悉。

“Come on. I’ll take you home. Jake must be worried to death.”
“来吧。我带你回家。杰克一定是担心得要死。

“You...you followed me?”
“你......你跟着我了？

A small smile tugs his lips and it makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter crazily.
他的嘴唇上露出一丝微笑，这让我肚子里的蝴蝶疯狂地翩翩起舞。

“You looked upset. Jake would have wanted me to make sure you are alright. Come on, I’ll help you up.”
“你看起来很不高兴。Jake会希望我确保你没事的。来吧，我来帮你起来。

My heart breaks a little. He followed me to make sure his best friend’s little sister didn’t get into trouble.
我的心有点碎。他跟着我，确保他最好朋友的妹妹没有惹上麻烦。

I’m naked with only his shirt acting as some sort of cover and not once has it affected him. Meanwhile my eyes can’t stop raking every muscle on his naked chest.
我赤身裸体，只有他的衬衫充当某种掩护，而且一次也没有影响到他。与此同时，我的眼睛不停地耙着他裸露的胸前的每一块肌肉。

I take Deacon’s hand begrudgingly.
我不情愿地握住了迪肯的手。

A touch of the skin on his calloused hand sends electrifying frissons all across my body. My heart thumps, I can almost feel the sensations roaring in my veins and the feeling itself is akin to having found something that I’ve been missing my entire life. Almost as if my entire life, I’ve been living without knowing how complete a person should be.
他布满老茧的手上的皮肤一触即发，我全身都感到震惊。我的心砰砰直跳，我几乎能感觉到血管中咆哮的感觉，这种感觉本身就好像找到了我一生都错过的东西。几乎就像我的一生，我一直在不知道一个人应该有多完整。
他布满老茧的手上的皮肤一触即发，我全身都感到震惊。我的心砰砰直跳，我几乎能感觉到血管中咆哮的感觉，这种感觉本身就好像找到了我一生都错过的东西。几乎就像我的一生，我一直在不知道一个人应该有多完整。

“Winter”, Deacon’s blazing eyes, dig into mine and I take a step away, this unsettling and new found feeling slipping deep inside me till my wolf can feel it.
“冬天”，炽热的眼睛深深地盯着我，我走开了一步，这种令人不安的新发现的感觉在我内心深处滑落，直到我的狼能感觉到它。

‘Mate’, my wolf growls with such heated desire that confirms what I felt a few minutes ago wasn’t a figment of my imagination.
“伙计”，我的狼咆哮着，欲望如此强烈，这证实了我几分钟前的感觉并不是我的想象。
“伙计”，我的狼咆哮着，欲望如此强烈，这证实了我几分钟前的感觉并不是我的想象。

“We are fated”, I whisper and the words together with the realization only heighten the desire growing inside me like an unwanted weed.
“我们命中注定”，我低声说，这些话和领悟只会加剧我内心生长的欲望，就像一棵不需要的杂草。
“我们命中注定”，我低声说，这些话和领悟只会加剧我内心生长的欲望，就像一棵不需要的杂草。

“It’s getting late”, Deacon tries to divert my words but the look on his face tells it all.
“天色已晚”，Deacon 试图转移我的话，但他脸上的表情说明了一切。

He feels this pull between our bodies almost as much as I do. He feels the magnetic pull my heart has on his, like they are soulmates calling each other for comfort.
他几乎和我一样感受到我们身体之间的这种拉扯。他感觉到我的心对他的磁性拉扯，就像他们是灵魂伴侣，互相呼唤着寻求安慰。

In our pack, once every member turns eighteen and gets his wolf, they are able to tell who their mates are whether or not their partners know it as well. Does that mean Deacon knew I was his mate when he got his wolf too?
在我们的狼群中，一旦每个成员年满 18 岁并得到他的狼，他们就能够分辨出他们的伴侣是谁，无论他们的伙伴是否也知道。这是否意味着 Deacon 在得到他的狼时也知道我是他的伴侣？

Why did he not tell me? Because I was still young? Because he was afraid of telling his best friend’s little sister they were mated?
他为什么不告诉我？因为我还年轻？因为他害怕告诉他最好朋友的妹妹他们已经交配了？

‘We are mates.’
“我们是伙伴。”

My wolf repeats, this time more determined to make sure I hear her.
我的狼重复了一遍，这一次更加坚定地确保我听到了她的声音。

“You are my mate and I am yours. We are destined to be together”, I try to insist even though the look on Deacon’s face tells me he’s not going to give in to the bond that’s getting stronger and stronger every minute we stand like this.
“你是我的伴侣，我是你的。我们注定要在一起”，我试图坚持，即使 Deacon 脸上的表情告诉我，他不会屈服于我们这样每站一分钟就越来越牢固的纽带。
“你是我的伴侣，我是你的。我们注定要在一起”，我试图坚持，即使 Deacon 脸上的表情告诉我，他不会屈服于我们这样每站一分钟就越来越牢固的纽带。

“You are still recovering from shifting. You are confused, Winter and I need to take you home.”
“你还在从轮班中恢复过来。你很困惑，Winter，我需要带你回家。
“你还在从轮班中恢复过来。你很困惑，Winter，我需要带你回家。

“Stop…stop lying to me. My wolf and I feel it which means you feel it too. Did you know? How long have you known?”
“住手......别再骗我了。我和我的狼都感觉到了，这意味着你也感觉到了。你知道吗？你知道多久了？
“住手......别再骗我了。我和我的狼都感觉到了，这意味着你也感觉到了。你知道吗？你知道多久了？

I’m met with silence.
我遭遇了沉默。

The critters of the night chirp away, a distant howl flogs the air and the man I’ve loved since forever stands before me, no, he looks at me and he lies to me even more.
黑夜的小动物叽叽喳喳地走开，远处的嚎叫鞭打着空气，我永远爱着的男人站在我面前，不，他看着我，他对我撒谎得更厉害了。
黑夜的小动物叽叽喳喳地走开，远处的嚎叫鞭打着空气，我永远爱着的男人站在我面前，不，他看着我，他对我撒谎得更厉害了。

“We are not mates, Winter.”
“我们不是伙伴，温特。”

The denial in his voice cuts me but the happiness booming in my chest rivals his words.
他声音中的否认让我感到伤心，但我胸中涌动的幸福与他的话语相媲美。
他声音中的否认让我感到伤心，但我胸中涌动的幸福与他的话语相媲美。

I can feel my wolf getting angry and scared at the same time.
我能感觉到我的狼同时生气和害怕。

“Did you not tell me because of Jake? Because if that’s the case you shouldn’t be worried about him. I love you, Deacon. I have loved you since the day we first met. I’ve always felt a connection with you even before I got my wolf-“
“你不是因为Jake才告诉我的吗？因为如果是这样的话，你就不应该担心他。我爱你，执事。从我们第一次见面的那天起，我就爱你了。甚至在我得到我的狼之前，我就一直觉得和你有联系——”

Deacon takes a step back as if he’s repulsed by the thought of us being mates. The action itself makes my heart almost crack into two halves.
狄肯后退了一步，仿佛他对我们是伙伴的想法感到厌恶。这个动作本身就让我的心几乎裂成两半。

“You are young, Winter. Young people fall out of love all the time.”
“你还年轻，冬天。年轻人总是会失恋。

How dare he put my age as an excuse not to yield to our bond?
他怎么敢把我的年龄当作不屈服于我们关系的借口呢？
他怎么敢把我的年龄当作不屈服于我们关系的借口呢？

“You think I’ll fall out of love with you? Especially now that I know we are mates?”
“你觉得我会爱上你吗？尤其是现在我知道我们是朋友了？

“I think you are the same little girl who’s been following me hoping I’ll give her a little attention and right now, she can’t seem to understand that we are not what she wants us to be.”
“我觉得你就是那个一直跟着我，希望我能给她一点关注的小女孩，现在，她似乎无法理解我们不是她希望我们成为的样子。”

Everything inside me rages to turn around, find a way out of here and never think of Deacon again. If this is the man I fell in love with then I would rather fall out of love. The other part of me that is controlled by my wolf, begs me to stay and convince this man I'm his rightful mate.
我内心的一切都愤怒地转过身来，找到离开这里的路，再也不想起迪肯。如果这是我爱上的男人，那我宁愿失恋。我被我的狼控制的另一部分，恳求我留下来，让这个男人相信我是他合法的伴侣。
我内心的一切都愤怒地转过身来，找到离开这里的路，再也不想起迪肯。如果这是我爱上的男人，那我宁愿失恋。我被我的狼控制的另一部分，恳求我留下来，让这个男人相信我是他合法的伴侣。

I can hear my wolf beg me not to leave, not to let Deacon’s words hurt us even though all his words have done is break us.
我能听到我的狼求我不要离开，不要让迪肯的话伤害我们，即使他的话所做的一切都让我们崩溃了。

I breach the space I had put between us, standing in front of him so our eyes can meet and he has no choice but to see me and to listen to me.
我打破了我为我们设置的空间，站在他面前，这样我们的眼睛就可以相遇，他别无选择，只能看到我，听我说话。

“Then look me in the eye and reject me, Deacon. If you think I'm still a little girl you don’t want as your mate, reject me and my wolf so we can move on to a guy who’ll actually care about our bond.”
“然后看着我的眼睛，拒绝我，执事。如果你觉得我还是个你不想成为你伴侣的小女孩，那就拒绝我和我的狼，这样我们就可以换一个真正关心我们关系的男人了。
“然后看着我的眼睛，拒绝我，执事。如果你觉得我还是个你不想成为你伴侣的小女孩，那就拒绝我和我的狼，这样我们就可以换一个真正关心我们关系的男人了。

‘Don’t reject us.’
“不要拒绝我们。”
“不要拒绝我们。”

My wolf howls inside of me like it’s her biggest fear. I’m on the same boat too because if our mate rejects us, I don’t think we could ever recover.
我的狼在我心里嚎叫，就像这是她最大的恐惧一样。我也在同一条船上，因为如果我们的伴侣拒绝我们，我认为我们永远无法恢复。
我的狼在我心里嚎叫，就像这是她最大的恐惧一样。我也在同一条船上，因为如果我们的伴侣拒绝我们，我认为我们永远无法恢复。

Deacon holds my chin and it trembles the minute we lock eyes.
Deacon 扶着我的下巴，当我们四目相接的那一刻，它就颤抖了起来。
Deacon 扶着我的下巴，当我们四目相接的那一刻，它就颤抖了起来。

Hot betraying tears stream down my cheeks as I await his answer and in the anticipation of it all, I can hear my wolf calling to him the way a siren lures men to their deaths. I can feel her vulnerability in my tears too.
当我等待他的回答时，炙热的背叛泪水顺着我的脸颊流下，在对这一切的期待中，我能听到我的狼在呼唤他，就像塞壬引诱男人走向死亡一样。我也能在我的眼泪中感受到她的脆弱。
当我等待他的回答时，炙热的背叛泪水顺着我的脸颊流下，在对这一切的期待中，我能听到我的狼在呼唤他，就像塞壬引诱男人走向死亡一样。我也能在我的眼泪中感受到她的脆弱。

I expect Deacon to tell me I should start walking home.
我希望 Deacon 告诉我应该开始步行回家。

What I don’t expect?
我不期望什么？

I don’t expect him to lick my tears and whisper, “I’m so sorry, baby.”
我不指望他会舔我的眼泪，低声说：“我很抱歉，宝贝。

And I most especially don’t expect him to smash his lips with mine.
我尤其不希望他用我的嘴唇砸碎他的嘴唇。

CHAPTER TWO
第二章

DEACON
执事

‘Stay away from my sister, Deacon. She’s at this age where she thinks you are the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen when it’s so far from the truth.’
“离我姐姐远点，迪肯。她到了这个年纪，她认为你是她见过的最美丽的东西，而这与事实相去甚远。

That was Jake a week ago when I spoke to his sister in their home.
那是一周前我在 Jake 家里和他姐姐交谈时说的。

‘Forget about the Cavanaugh girl or I’ll take matters into my own hands, son.’
“别管那个卡瓦诺姑娘了，不然我就自己动手了，孩子。”
“别管那个卡瓦诺姑娘了，不然我就自己动手了，孩子。”

And that was my father’s warning, the minute I turned eighteen and told him who my mate was.
这就是我父亲的警告，就在我十八岁的时候，告诉他我的伴侣是谁。

Right now, a thousand thoughts swirl in my mind. Thoughts I shouldn’t entertain. Thoughts I should have never acted upon.
此刻，一千个想法在我的脑海中盘旋。我不该考虑的想法。我不该采取行动的想法。
此刻，一千个想法在我的脑海中盘旋。我不该考虑的想法。我不该采取行动的想法。

If Jacob doesn’t kill me for this then my father will definitely ensure I’m six feet under once he finds out. But maybe this is worth it.
如果雅各布没有为此杀了我，那么一旦我父亲发现，他肯定会确保我在六英尺以下。但也许这是值得的。
如果雅各布没有为此杀了我，那么一旦我父亲发现，他肯定会确保我在六英尺以下。但也许这是值得的。

Winter Cavanaugh has been on my mind since she became of age. Add the fact that I knew she was my mate and every plaguing thought has revolved around her.
温特·卡瓦诺 （Winter Cavanaugh） 自从她长大后就一直在我的脑海中。再加上我知道她是我的伴侣，所有令人痛苦的想法都围绕着她。
温特·卡瓦诺 （Winter Cavanaugh） 自从她长大后就一直在我的脑海中。再加上我知道她是我的伴侣，所有令人痛苦的想法都围绕着她。

Starting from the roots of that shiny blonde hair of hers, to the freckles on her nose, to those green orbs she has for eyes, all the way to those pink lips that look kissable from a mile away; this woman has been the death of me and she has no clue just how much.
从她那一头闪亮的金发的根部开始，到她鼻子上的雀斑，到她眼睛上的那些绿色球体，一直到那些从一英里外看起来可以亲吻的粉红色嘴唇;这个女人是我的死亡，她不知道有多少。

I’ve seen her watching me. And going to an extent of coming to the training grounds to cheer me on. Every single second, my wolf has been craving nothing but her, her scent and everything that encompasses Winter Cavanaugh.
我看到她看着我。甚至来到训练场为我加油。每一秒，我的狼都渴望着她，她的气味和围绕着Winter Cavanaugh的一切。

I’ve tried getting my wolf to be satisfied with other women but that has proved impossible because we are attracted to one woman. The woman my wolf and I are not supposed to touch or think about while having a cold shower with a raging boner every single night.
我试过让我的狼对其他女人感到满意，但事实证明这是不可能的，因为我们被一个女人所吸引。我和我的狼不应该在每晚与狂暴的鸡巴一起洗冷水澡时触摸或思考那个女人。
我试过让我的狼对其他女人感到满意，但事实证明这是不可能的，因为我们被一个女人所吸引。我和我的狼不应该在每晚与狂暴的鸡巴一起洗冷水澡时触摸或思考那个女人。

And tonight, I watched her cry because I was an imbecile who couldn’t tell her that yes, we are mates, baby and I’m hella proud you got your wolf tonight.
今晚，我看着她哭泣，因为我是个低能儿，不能告诉她，是的，我们是伙伴，宝贝，我为你今晚得到了你的狼而感到自豪。

The minute she said ‘so I can move on to a guy who’ll actually care about our bond’; I lost all restraint. I hated seeing her cry too so I did what any weak man in my situation would do…. I tasted my mate.
当她说“这样我就可以转向一个真正关心我们关系的男人”的那一刻;我失去了所有的克制。我也讨厌看到她哭泣，所以我做了任何像我这样的弱者都会做的事情......我尝到了我的伴侣的味道。
当她说“这样我就可以转向一个真正关心我们关系的男人”的那一刻;我失去了所有的克制。我也讨厌看到她哭泣，所以我做了任何像我这样的弱者都会做的事情......我尝到了我的伴侣的味道。

The moment her lips touch mine, the last shred of my sanity is lost, to her and this ecstatic feeling that grows as I make her lips fully mine.
当她的嘴唇触碰到我的嘴唇的那一刻，我失去了最后一丝理智，对她来说，这种欣喜若狂的感觉随着我让她的嘴唇完全属于我而增长。

I drown in the tiny noise she lets out as I taste everything her lips have to give and Winter? Goddess, my girl laces her arms around my neck submerging into the pull of the kiss that has both of us starved and stunned.
我淹没在她发出的微小声音中，当我品尝她的嘴唇所能给予的一切时，冬天？女神，我的女孩用手臂搂住我的脖子，沉浸在让我们俩都感到饥饿和震惊的吻的拉扯中。
我淹没在她发出的微小声音中，当我品尝她的嘴唇所能给予的一切时，冬天？女神，我的女孩用手臂搂住我的脖子，沉浸在让我们俩都感到饥饿和震惊的吻的拉扯中。

The clean sweet taste of her, the jasmine smell of her skin and the submission of her body to mine has every dirty thought inside me roaring like a fire being fed flint, minute after every minute.
她干净甜美的味道，她皮肤上的茉莉花味，以及她的身体对我的屈服，我心中每一个肮脏的想法都像火被燧石喂养的火一样咆哮着，每一分钟都在咆哮。

I can feel all my blood heading south to my cock. I can feel said cock rubbing against my pants painfully as it tries to reach out to what I crave most right now.
我能感觉到我所有的血液都流向南流向我的阴茎。我能感觉到那根鸡巴痛苦地摩擦着我的裤子，因为它试图伸向我现在最渴望的东西。

I want to taste every inch of her.
我想品尝她的每一寸。

I want to see her cunt. Just one look. Just a little peek.
我想看看她的屄。就看一眼。只是看了一眼。

I want to take her right here and the restraint keeping me from doing so seems to grow thin as I suck on her bottom lip savoring her taste to memory.
我想把她带到这里，当我吮吸她的下唇，细细品味她的味道时，阻止我这样做的束缚似乎越来越薄。

“Winter”, I mumble against her lips, the thought of stopping the kiss cutting me from the inside out but I have to.
“冬天”，我在她的嘴唇上喃喃自语，停止这个吻的想法让我从里到外都割伤了我，但我必须这样做。

I can't go any further than I've done tonight.
我不能比今晚更进一步。

“We have to stop”, I utter hoarsely, my words being the complete opposite of what I want.
“我们得停下来”，我嘶哑地说，我的话与我想要的完全相反。
“我们得停下来”，我嘶哑地说，我的话与我想要的完全相反。

But this is what I should want. She turned eighteen a couple months ago, I probably took her first kiss tonight and I'm not going to be the douchebag who fucks her and breaks her virginity in the middle of the woods whether we are bonded or not.
但这就是我应该想要的。她几个月前刚满十八岁，我今晚可能接受了她的初吻，无论我们是否结合，我都不会成为那个在树林里操她并破坏她童贞的混蛋。
但这就是我应该想要的。她几个月前刚满十八岁，我今晚可能接受了她的初吻，无论我们是否结合，我都不会成为那个在树林里操她并破坏她童贞的混蛋。

“No”, Winter lets out a shaky breath and the first mistake I make is looking into her eyes.
“不”，Winter 颤抖地呼出一口气，我犯的第一个错误是看着她的眼睛。

Because her eyes carry the same thing mine are carrying. Desire. Wild and crazy desire.
因为她的眼睛带着和我一样的东西。 欲望。 狂野而疯狂的欲望。
因为她的眼睛带着和我一样的东西。 欲望。 狂野而疯狂的欲望。

“Deacon, I—I’ve never wanted anything more than I want this and you don't get to say no to me after you initiated the first kiss.”
“执事，我——我从来没有想要过任何东西，除了我想要这个，而且在你开始初吻之后，你不能对我说不。”
“执事，我——我从来没有想要过任何东西，除了我想要这个，而且在你开始初吻之后，你不能对我说不。”

Seeing her stand up to me only spikes my already hot blood with fire. This is the reason why I shouldn't have kissed her. This is the reason why I’ve stayed away from her and watched her from afar.
看到她站到我面前，只会让我本已炙热的血液燃烧起来。这就是我不该亲吻她的原因。这就是我远离她，远远地看着她的原因。

Her small hand cradles my jaw and I hold it against my cheek, kissing her tenderly when the caveman in me wants to do more than kiss her. My right hand grabs her ass, hauling her tighter to my chest.
她的小手抱住我的下巴，我把它贴在我的脸颊上，当我内心的穴居人想要做的不仅仅是亲吻她时，温柔地亲吻她。我的右手抓住她的屁股，把她拉得更紧。
她的小手抱住我的下巴，我把它贴在我的脸颊上，当我内心的穴居人想要做的不仅仅是亲吻她时，温柔地亲吻她。我的右手抓住她的屁股，把她拉得更紧。

Winter lets out a small gasp, her arms banding around my neck again. I give her another kiss on the lips before pulling away to kiss her neck, jaw, cheeks and every inch of her skin my greedy lips can find.
Winter发出一声轻柔的喘息，她的手臂再次搂住了我的脖子。我在她的嘴唇上又吻了一下，然后抽身亲吻她的脖子、下巴、脸颊和我贪婪的嘴唇能找到的每一寸皮肤。
Winter发出一声轻柔的喘息，她的手臂再次搂住了我的脖子。我在她的嘴唇上又吻了一下，然后抽身亲吻她的脖子、下巴、脸颊和我贪婪的嘴唇能找到的每一寸皮肤。

“It’s your first time, baby and while I can’t promise it won’t hurt, I’ll make it good for you.”
“这是你的第一次，宝贝，虽然我不能保证不会痛，但我会让你好起来的。
“这是你的第一次，宝贝，虽然我不能保证不会痛，但我会让你好起来的。

Her emerald eyes dig into mine and she smiles nervously, an action that makes my heart beat twice as fast. I should have told her we were mates as soon as she turned eighteen. I should have kissed her every time she came to watch me thinking I couldn’t notice her.
她翡翠般的眼睛深深地盯着我，她紧张地笑着，这个动作让我的心跳加快了一倍。我应该在她十八岁的时候告诉她我们是伴侣。每次她来看我时，我都应该亲吻她，以为我没有注意到她。

“I trust you, Deacon.”
“我相信你，执事。”

Her words serve as the final straw. I take a step away from her and my mate looks at me disappointedly, not having a clue I want to see every inch of her body naked under the moonlight.
她的话是最后一根稻草。我从她身边走开一步，我的伴侣失望地看着我，不知道我想看到她身体的每一寸都在月光下赤裸裸。
她的话是最后一根稻草。我从她身边走开一步，我的伴侣失望地看着我，不知道我想看到她身体的每一寸都在月光下赤裸裸。

“I want to see you, baby.”
“我想见你，宝贝。”

The blush that creeps up her cheeks makes me smirk lightly. No one has ever spoken to her like that before. And no man has been intimate or will ever be intimate with her but me.
她脸颊上爬上的红晕让我轻轻地笑了笑。以前从来没有人这样和她说话。除了我，没有男人曾经或将来和她亲密。
她脸颊上爬上的红晕让我轻轻地笑了笑。以前从来没有人这样和她说话。除了我，没有男人曾经或将来和她亲密。

“Me?” She stutters. I'm momentarily stuck on staring at her creamy thighs and making my way up to the perky nipples poking out of the shirt she’s wearing.
“我？”她结结巴巴地说。我瞬间盯着她奶油般的大腿，然后一直走到从她穿着的衬衫里探出的活泼的。

“Yes, Winter. I want you on the ground, legs spread for me, with my mouth, fingers and cock each having a taste of you tonight. You want that too, baby?”
“是的，冬天。我要你躺在地上，双腿为我张开，今晚我的嘴巴、手指和鸡巴都尝到了你的滋味。你也想要那个，宝贝？
“是的，冬天。我要你躺在地上，双腿为我张开，今晚我的嘴巴、手指和鸡巴都尝到了你的滋味。你也想要那个，宝贝？

Her breath hitches and her dilated green eyes pierce into mine before she whispers,”I want that.”
她的呼吸急促，她瞪大的绿色眼睛刺入我的眼睛，然后她低声说，“我想要那个。

By the time Winter takes off my shirt and lies on it on the ground, I’m already on top of her, making sure I don't crush her. Our lips meet, only this time the kiss is more demanding, more needy.
当 Winter 脱下我的衬衫并躺在地上时，我已经压在她身上，确保我不会压伤她。我们的嘴唇相遇，只是这一次的吻要求更高，更需要。
当 Winter 脱下我的衬衫并躺在地上时，我已经压在她身上，确保我不会压伤她。我们的嘴唇相遇，只是这一次的吻要求更高，更需要。

I kiss my way down her jaw, lick the skin on her clavicle as I move down to her pebbled nipples.
我顺着她的下巴亲吻，舔舐她锁骨上的皮肤，同时向下移动到她鹅卵石般的。

Licking the underside of one of her breasts, my mouth waters all the more as I latch on one nipple, tasting how good she feels in my mouth.
舔舐她的一个乳房的下侧，当我含住一个时，我的嘴巴流得更厉害了，品尝着她在我嘴里的感觉有多好。

“Oh…Goddess”, Winter moans and I would correct her it’s my name she should be moaning out loud if I wasn’t too busy getting entranced by her pretty pair of tits.
“哦......女神”，Winter 呻吟着，我会纠正她，如果我不是忙着被她漂亮的一对奶子迷住，她应该大声呻吟。

I pinch her nipple and she squirms before I suck the little thing back in my mouth.
我捏住她的，她扭动着，然后我把小东西吸回嘴里。

“Your tits are gorgeous, baby. All creamy and pink. I can’t get enough. I’ll never get enough.”
“你的奶子很漂亮，宝贝。都是奶油色和粉红色的。我受不了。我永远不会受够。

“Deacon…please.”
“执事......拜托。

I drag my tongue against her ribs, kissing her navel before I stop at the apex of her sex.
我用舌头抵住她的肋骨，亲吻她的肚脐，然后在她性爱的顶点停下来。

I can smell her arousal so damp in the air. I can see her arousal drip right in front of me and there’s nothing that prevents me from kneeling between her legs and sinking my tongue inside her soaking cunt.
我能闻到她的兴奋在空气中如此潮湿。我可以看到她的兴奋就在我面前滴落，没有什么能阻止我跪在她的两腿之间，将我的舌头伸进她湿漉漉的屄里。
我能闻到她的兴奋在空气中如此潮湿。我可以看到她的兴奋就在我面前滴落，没有什么能阻止我跪在她的两腿之间，将我的舌头伸进她湿漉漉的屄里。

“You are not just wet, Winter. Fuck, baby. You are soaking wet for me.”
“你不只是湿漉漉的，冬天。操，宝贝。你对我来说湿透了。

“Yes…for you.”
“是的......为了你。

I eat her pretty pink cunt till she moans my name a few more times. Every moan I wrench from her lips and every orgasm she gives me only fuels the pulsing in my cock. I don’t know how many times Winter Cavanaugh comes on my tongue. All I know is, I will be going on my knees a few times in future to eat this cunt.
我吃她漂亮的粉红色屄，直到她再呻吟我的名字几下。我从她的嘴唇上扯出的每一次呻吟，她给我的每一次高潮，都只会助长我鸡巴的跳动。我不知道 Winter Cavanaugh 在我的舌头上出现了多少次。我只知道，以后我会跪下吃几次这个屄。

When I finally get on top of her, my thumb circling her throbbing clit and my cock lining her entrance, I lean down to kiss her hoping it will distract her from the pain.
当我终于趴在她身上时，我的拇指环绕着她跳动的阴蒂，我的阴茎衬在她的入口处，我俯下身来亲吻她，希望这能分散她的痛苦。
当我终于趴在她身上时，我的拇指环绕着她跳动的阴蒂，我的阴茎衬在她的入口处，我俯下身来亲吻她，希望这能分散她的痛苦。

Pushing the tip inside her has me grunting back a moan, the feel of her better than I had imagined for years. I wrench my lips from her swiping the stray locks of hair that have clung to her face, so I can meet her eyes.
将尖端推入她体内让我咕哝着呻吟，这种感觉比我多年来想象的要好。我从她身上扯开嘴唇，轻扫着粘在她脸上的散乱的头发，这样我就可以与她的眼睛对上。

I can’t hurt her.
我不能伤害她。

The last thing I want to do is hurt her on a special night like this.
我最不想做的就是在这样一个特殊的夜晚伤害她。

“Shh”, I whisper into her ear, before dragging my lips over her temple. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.”
“嘘”，我在她耳边低语，然后把嘴唇滑过她的太阳穴。“我有你，宝贝。我有你。

Her nails only dig deep into the back of my shoulders.
她的指甲只会深深地钻进我的肩膀后面。

“I don't want you to stop. Please don’t stop, Deacon.”
“我不希望你停下来。请不要停下来，执事。

The sound of her voice urging me to continue sounds like music to my ears and despite that, I don’t thrust inside her at one go.
她催促我继续的声音在我耳中听起来像音乐，尽管如此，我并没有一下子插入她体内。
她催促我继续的声音在我耳中听起来像音乐，尽管如此，我并没有一下子插入她体内。

“I'll take it slow, yeah? We move together, baby. Are you ready?”
“我会慢慢来的，对吧？我们一起行动，宝贝。你准备好了吗？

Her swollen lips stretch to a small grin, one that tells me she’s okay and I’m the one too worried about everything
她肿胀的嘴唇张开，露出一个小小的笑容，告诉我她没事，而我是那个太担心一切的人

“As much as I love your smile, you have to use words, Winter. Are you ready?”
“尽管我很喜欢你的笑容，但你得用语言，冬天。你准备好了吗？

“Y—Yes. I'm ready.”
“嗯——是的。我准备好了。

I search for any hint of hesitation on her face. Taking her virginity despite her being wet for me means she'll have to go through the pain as I thrust inside her and I'd do anything to take the pain away.
我在她的脸上寻找任何犹豫的迹象。尽管她对我来说是湿漉漉的，但夺走她的童贞意味着她必须忍受我插入她体内的痛苦，我会做任何事情来消除痛苦。

“Deacon? I'm okay. I'm ready. P-please.”
“执事？ 我没事。 我准备好了。 P-拜托。

The breathless plea she hands me travels like an arrow straight to my heart. I kiss her.
她给我的喘不过气来的恳求像箭一样直奔我的心。我亲吻她。

Then I plunge inside her, slowly, passionately like a lover making love to his mate after being separated for eons.
然后我慢慢地、热情地插入她体内，就像一个情人在分离亿万年后与他的伴侣做爱。

It takes about two thrusts to find Winter’s weak spot and seeing her come on my cock while she screams my name ends up being my damnation.
大约需要抽插两次才能找到 Winter 的弱点，看到她在尖叫我的名字时来到我的鸡巴上，最终成为我的诅咒。

I don't know how long I fuck her in my arms.
我不知道我在怀里操她多久了。
我不知道我在怀里操她多久了。

I don't know how many times I come inside her and how many times I praise her for taking my cock so well.
我不知道我进入她体内多少次，又有多少次称赞她把我的鸡巴拿得这么好。
我不知道我进入她体内多少次，又有多少次称赞她把我的鸡巴拿得这么好。

All I know is, Winter Cavanaugh is mine after tonight.
我只知道，今晚之后，温特·卡瓦诺就是我的了。

***

“Deacon, I think you should put me down now.”
“执事，我觉得你现在应该把我放下来。”

My hands wrap around her thighs. I’ll not be putting her down anytime soon.
我的手搂住她的大腿。我不会很快放下她。

“You have no shoes and I went pretty hard on you tonight. Carrying you is no trouble for me.”
“你没穿鞋，今晚我对你很伤心。背着你对我来说不麻烦。

Her wolf ran almost two miles into the woods. Another mile more and she would be lost, maybe even in the territory of our pack’s rivals in the south.
她的狼跑进了树林里差不多两英里。再多跑一英里，她就会迷路了，甚至可能在我们狼群在南方的对手的领地里。
她的狼跑进了树林里差不多两英里。再多跑一英里，她就会迷路了，甚至可能在我们狼群在南方的对手的领地里。

“Jake will overreact when he sees us. And the pack, my parents, Goddess, what will they all say?”
“杰克看到我们时会反应过度。还有那群人，我的父母，女神，他们都会说什么呢？

I kiss the top of her head. We are almost back home. Her brother will most definitely punch me and end our friendship. As for Mr. and Mrs. Cavanaugh, they’ve always liked me. they wouldn’t deny me the chance of making Winter my future Luna.
我亲吻了她的头顶。我们快到家了。她的哥哥肯定会打我一拳，结束我们的友谊。至于卡瓦诺先生和夫人，他们一直都喜欢我。他们不会拒绝我让温特成为我未来的露娜的机会。

Any thoughts about me and Winter are put to a halt when the shrill sound of drums getting pounded echo all the way from our pack’s village.
当刺耳的鼓声从我们狼群的村庄一路回荡时，任何关于我和 Winter 的想法都停止了。

Drums in the pack mean one thing. Death.
包装中的鼓意味着一件事。 死亡。
包装中的鼓意味着一件事。 死亡。

“Deacon”, Winter’s voice wobbles.
“执事”，Winter 的声音颤抖着。

I kiss her on the lips.
我亲吻她的嘴唇。

“Everything is going to be okay.”
“一切都会好起来的。”

Nothing turns out to be okay when we reach Winter’s home. I don’t have to be told who died. The truth is in the smell and the dark smoke that hangs in the skies. The truth is in the people from our pack who start to give me and Winter way as soon as we arrive.
当我们到达 Winter 的家时，一切都变得好起来。我不必被告知谁死了。真相就在天空中弥漫的气味和黑烟中。真相在我们背包中的人身上，他们一到就开始给我和 Winter 路。

The truth is in my father’s eyes as he looks at me and nods his head sideways. The only person who doesn’t see the truth is…
真相就在我父亲的眼中，他看着我，侧身点头。唯一看不到真相的人是......
真相就在我父亲的眼中，他看着我，侧身点头。唯一看不到真相的人是......

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

“Deacon…let me go. I have to go inside. Jake and my parents are worried sick about me.”
“执事...... 放开我。 我得进去。杰克和我父母都很担心我。

There is no house because said house has been burnt to ashes. Jake or her parents would be here somewhere if they were alive and the acrid smell of flesh wouldn’t reek so much in the air.
没有房子，因为那栋房子已经被烧成灰烬。如果杰克或她的父母还活着，他们会在这里的某个地方，而且刺鼻的肉味不会在空气中散发出那么多的臭味。

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

“Jacob said we would…we would get to talk once he came home. I’m home and I w—want to see my brother. Mom is waiting for me too. I have…I have to tell her I got…my wolf. I have to tell mom and dad I got my wolf. I have to show them! Deacon, let me go!”
“雅各布说我们会......他回家后我们会好好谈谈。我回家了，我想见见我哥哥。妈妈也在等我。 我有。。。 我得告诉她我有......我的狼。我得告诉爸爸妈妈我有我的狼。我得让他们看看！执事，放我走！

“Winter. “
“冬天。”

“Why won’t you let me see my family? They are…they are waiting for me! They are worried…sick about me but I’m home. I’m… here. I have to go to my family, Deacon.”
“你为什么不让我见我的家人？他们在......他们在等我！他们担心......对我感到不舒服，但我在家。我...... 这里。 我得去找我的家人了，执事。

“Winter, they are dead. Your family is dead.”
“冬天，他们死了。你的家人死了。

CHAPTER THREE
第三章

WINTER
冬

“Go home. We’ll talk about this when I get home.”
“回家吧。我回家后再谈这件事。

Jacob’s voice haunts me three weeks later.
三个星期后，雅各布的声音一直萦绕在我心头。

I should have never gone to the training grounds. Maybe if I stayed home, mom and dad would still be here. Maybe Jacob would be here too or maybe I would have done something. I would have…saved them.
我本来就不该去训练场的。也许如果我待在家里，爸爸妈妈还会在这里。也许雅各布也会在这里，或者我会做点什么。我会......救他们。
我本来就不该去训练场的。也许如果我待在家里，爸爸妈妈还会在这里。也许雅各布也会在这里，或者我会做点什么。我会......救他们。

Jacob was one of the strongest betas in the pack and my dad even though retired,beta he had the power to shift. My parents would have escaped the fire by themselves which only leaves me with the only truth I know and believe in. My family was murdered.
雅各布是这群人中最强的贝塔人之一，我爸爸即使已经退休了，他也有改变的能力。我的父母会自己逃离大火，这只给我留下了我唯一知道和相信的真相。我的家人被谋杀了。

“Here.”
“给你。”

I’m pulled out of grief by the man who took my virginity the night my parents were murdered and has been acting weird ever since that night.
我被那个在我父母被谋杀的那天晚上夺走了我童贞的男人从悲伤中拉出来，从那天晚上开始就一直表现得很奇怪。
我被那个在我父母被谋杀的那天晚上夺走了我童贞的男人从悲伤中拉出来，从那天晚上开始就一直表现得很奇怪。

I take the glass of water from Deacon’s hands because I need it.
我从迪肯手中接过那杯水，因为我需要它。

I haven’t been able to stomach anything since that night and that’s mostly due to the grief that won’t let me go.
自从那天晚上以来，我一直无法忍受 任何事情，这主要是因为悲伤让我无法离开。

I drink half of the water in the glass, handing it back to Deacon.
我喝掉了杯子里一半的水，把它递回给 Deacon。

“You have to drink all of it, Winter.”
“你得把这东西都喝光，冬天。”

He’s been calling me Winter since Jake’s death. Not doll face, not baby but Winter. Almost as if he blames me for something. Almost as if he doesn’t want me anymore but I can’t dwell on that. Everyone is gathered here for an entirely different reason.
自从杰克死后，他就一直叫我冬天。不是洋娃娃脸，不是婴儿，而是冬天。几乎就像他责怪我什么。几乎就像他不再想要我了，但我不能纠结于此。每个人都为了一个完全不同的原因聚集在这里。

Deacon’s dad, Alpha Foster Cross, assembled an emergency meeting for my family and everyone in the pack is supposed to be here, me most included. This meeting serves as the only hope I have of finding my family’s killer.
Deacon 的爸爸 Alpha Foster Cross 为我的家人召集了一次紧急会议，大家都应该在这里，包括我。这次会议是我找到杀害我家人的凶手的唯一希望。
Deacon 的爸爸 Alpha Foster Cross 为我的家人召集了一次紧急会议，大家都应该在这里，包括我。这次会议是我找到杀害我家人的凶手的唯一希望。

“Betas and omegas, three weeks ago, we witnessed the most horrendous thing to ever happen to our pack. Our very own Melanie Cavanaugh, Will Cavanaugh and Jacob Cavanaugh got caught in a fire that claimed their lives. Now, I promised you that me and my elders would look into the matter. If there was any evidence of foul play or if one of our enemies caused the fire to be precise, I promised to deliver justice. Unfortunately, despite my great efforts, there was no evidence of foul play. The Cavanaugh family died from an accidental fire inside their home.”
“贝塔和欧米茄，三周前，我们目睹了发生在我们狼群身上的最可怕的事情。我们自己的梅兰妮·卡瓦诺、威尔·卡瓦诺和雅各布·卡瓦诺被卷入一场大火，夺走了他们的生命。现在，我向你保证，我和我的长辈会调查这件事。如果有任何犯规的证据，或者如果我们的敌人之一准确地导致了火灾，我承诺会伸张正义。不幸的是，尽管我付出了巨大的努力，但没有证据表明有犯规行为。卡瓦诺一家死于家中的意外火灾。

Most of the men and women agree to whatever Alpha Foster is saying.
大多数男人和女人都同意阿尔法·福斯特所说的任何话。

One of them says, ‘Fires are common in small houses’ and another says, ‘that Jacob kid was a menace from the start.’
其中一个说，'小房子里经常起火'，另一个说，'那个雅各布的孩子从一开始就是一个威胁。

I look at Deacon who’s standing next to his father and listening to everything they are saying about my brother and not once does he correct them and tell them they are wrong.
我看着站在他父亲旁边的迪肯，听着他们对我哥哥的一切说，他一次也没有纠正他们，告诉他们他们错了。

Not once does he look at me and I don’t know what pains more, whatever his father says or the fact that he’s siding with his father’s words.
他一次也没有看我一眼，我不知道还有什么比这更痛苦的，无论他父亲说什么，还是他站在他父亲一边的事实。

My parents were murdered. It’s as clear as day.
我的父母被谋杀了。一切都像白昼一样清晰。

“I don’t believe that!”
“我不相信！”

I place the empty glass of water by the small table next to me then I stand up walking to where our almighty Alpha is spreading his filthy lies.
我把空水杯放在旁边的小桌子旁边，然后站起来，走向我们全能的Alpha正在散布他肮脏谎言的地方。
我把空水杯放在旁边的小桌子旁边，然后站起来，走向我们全能的Alpha正在散布他肮脏谎言的地方。

“My parents were murdered.”
“我的父母被谋杀了。”

Everyone goes quiet.
大家都安静了下来。

Alpha Foster’s eyes linger on me and they are nowhere near as warm as his son’s.
阿尔法·福斯特的眼睛在我身上徘徊，远不如他儿子的眼睛温暖。

“Winter, don't do this.”
“冬天，不要这样做。”

I push Deacon’s arms away
我推开了 Deacon 的手臂

How dare he side with his father when he knew whatever was being said wasn’t true? How could he?
当他知道所说的一切都不是真的时，他怎么敢站在他父亲一边？他怎么可能呢？

“Everyone knows that this was murder. If the fire was an accident, the doors would have worked just fine and my father…my brother they would have…they would have gotten my mom out of there. They would have all escaped! This is what a murder looks like!”
“每个人都知道这是谋杀。如果火灾是意外，门会工作得很好，我爸爸......我哥哥他们会......他们会把我妈妈救出来。他们都会逃脱的！这就是谋杀的样子！
“每个人都知道这是谋杀。如果火灾是意外，门会工作得很好，我爸爸......我哥哥他们会......他们会把我妈妈救出来。他们都会逃脱的！这就是谋杀的样子！

Alpha Foster Cross steps forward, his apologetic smile not reaching his eyes.
阿尔法·福斯特·克罗斯向前走了一步，他的眼睛里没有露出他抱歉的笑容。

“You are grieving, child. You are allowed to grieve but this is not what your parents would have wanted.”
“你很伤心，孩子。你可以伤心，但这不是你父母想要的。

The pack agrees with the Alpha.
该包与 Alpha 一致。

I can see their nods. I can hear every murmur and whisper being tossed around the hall. They think I’ve lost my mind. They think I’m crazy to challenge the Alpha and his words.
我能看到他们的点头。我能听到大厅里传来的每一声杂音和耳语。他们觉得我疯了。他们觉得我疯了，敢挑战Alpha和他的话。
我能看到他们的点头。我能听到大厅里传来的每一声杂音和耳语。他们觉得我疯了。他们觉得我疯了，敢挑战Alpha和他的话。

‘Deacon will help us. He is our mate, he’ll stick to our side and help us get justice’, the loyalty my wolf has to Deacon makes me want to latch on false hope.
“狄肯会帮助我们。他是我们的伙伴，他会站在我们这边，帮助我们伸张正义”，我的狼对狄肯的忠诚让我想抓住虚假的希望。
“狄肯会帮助我们。他是我们的伙伴，他会站在我们这边，帮助我们伸张正义”，我的狼对狄肯的忠诚让我想抓住虚假的希望。

Deep inside me, I can feel the bond between me and Deacon hang by a thread. The minute he failed to stop his father from saying all those things about my family’s death being an accident, I felt something change between us.
在我的内心深处，我能感觉到我和迪肯之间的纽带悬一线。当他没能阻止他的父亲说出我家人的死亡是意外的那些事情时，我感觉到我们之间发生了一些变化。

Despite all that, I side with my wolf because this is Deacon Cross and he will side with us when we need him the most.
尽管如此，我还是站在我的狼一边，因为这是 Deacon Cross，在我们最需要他的时候，他会站在我们这边。
尽管如此，我还是站在我的狼一边，因为这是 Deacon Cross，在我们最需要他的时候，他会站在我们这边。

“I, Winter Cavanaugh, omega of Moon Stone pack, demand justice for my parents. As the future Luna of this pack, I want the people who did this to my family found and treated the same way. I deserve to be accorded that much as the future Luna, right?”
“我，温特·卡瓦诺，月亮石包的欧米茄，要求为我的父母伸张正义。作为这个包的未来露娜，我希望那些对我的家人做这件事的人能被找到，并以同样的方式对待。我应该得到和未来的露娜一样多的待遇，对吧？
“我，温特·卡瓦诺，月亮石群的欧米茄，要求为我的父母伸张正义。作为这个群的未来露娜，我希望那些对我家人做这种事的人能被找到，并以同样的方式对待。我应该得到和未来的露娜一样多的待遇，对吧？

The whispers and murmurs turn into something more. They turn into scornful words and sneers. Alpha Foster runs a hand in his silver hair trying to calm everyone down and assuring them that the future Luna of the pack hasn’t been chosen yet.
耳语和低语变成了更多的东西。它们变成了轻蔑的话语和冷笑。Alpha Foster用一只手抚摸着他的银发，试图让大家冷静下来，并向他们保证，未来的狼群中的露娜还没有被选中。

I must admit the Alpha’s words cut me but that doesn’t matter because Deacon Cross chose me as his mate. He’ll stand by me and fight with me.
我必须承认 Alpha 的话让我很伤心，但这并不重要，因为 Deacon Cross 选择了我作为他的伴侣。他会站在我身边，和我一起战斗。
我必须承认 Alpha 的话让我很伤心，但这并不重要，因为 Deacon Cross 选择了我作为他的伴侣。他会站在我身边，和我一起战斗。

I look at Deacon waiting for the same knight in shining armor who saved me and made love to me in the woods, to come to my rescue. My naïve eighteen-year-old heart hopes for the impossible.
我看着狄肯，等待着那个穿着闪亮盔甲的骑士，他在树林里救了我，并与我发生了关系，来拯救我。我天真的十八岁心里希望不可能的事情。
我看着狄肯，等待着那个穿着闪亮盔甲的骑士，他在树林里救了我，并与我发生了关系，来拯救我。我天真的十八岁心里希望不可能的事情。

“Stop this nonsense right now, Deacon”, Alpha Foster whispers loud enough for me and his son to hear.
“别再胡说八道了，执事”，Alpha Foster低声说，声音大到足以让我和他的儿子听到。

Deacon faces the pack addressing them.
狄肯面对着对他们说话的狼群。
狄肯面对着对他们说话的狼群。

“I, Deacon Cross, future Alpha of Moon Stone pack, have not chosen a mate yet. Winter Cavanaugh is not my mate. However, I would like all of us to help her during these tough times she’s going through.”
“我，克洛斯执事，未来的月亮石阿尔法狼群，还没有选择伴侣。温特·卡瓦诺不是我的伴侣。但是，我希望我们所有人都能在她正在经历的艰难时期帮助她。
“我，克洛斯执事，未来的月亮石阿尔法狼群，还没有选择伴侣。温特·卡瓦诺不是我的伴侣。但是，我希望我们所有人都能在她正在经历的艰难时期帮助她。

I don’t stick around to listen to whatever else he has to say. I feel sick. The sting of his rejection comes like another slap to the face on top of everything that has happened this past few weeks
我不会留下来听他要说什么。我感到恶心。他被拒绝的刺痛就像是在过去几周发生的一切之上的又一记耳光.

My wolf takes the rejection the hardest. I can hear her waiting on Deacon, thinking that Deacon will follow us and apologize saying it was all a big mistake, that he was wrong and he rejected us in the heat of the moment.
我的狼对拒绝是最难接受的。我能听到她在等着 Deacon，以为 Deacon 会跟着我们道歉，说这都是一个大错误，他错了，他在一时冲动下拒绝了我们。
我的狼对拒绝是最难接受的。我能听到她在等着 Deacon，以为 Deacon 会跟着我们道歉，说这都是一个大错误，他错了，他在一时冲动下拒绝了我们。

Deacon never follows us though and shame and humiliation feel sticky against my skin as I slowly get away from all of them. I want to run but I have nowhere to go. I have no one to turn to. I’m all alone. My parents left me. Jake left me. Jake warned me about Deacon. Why didn’t I listen?
然而，Deacon 从来没有跟着我们，当我慢慢远离他们所有人时，羞耻和羞辱感觉粘在我的皮肤上。我想逃跑，但我无处可去。我没有人可以求助。我孤身一人。我的父母离开了我。Jake 离开了我。Jake 警告我关于 Deacon 的事情。为什么我不听？
然而，Deacon 从来没有跟着我们，当我慢慢远离他们所有人时，羞耻和羞辱感觉粘在我的皮肤上。我想逃跑，但我无处可去。我没有人可以求助。我孤身一人。我的父母离开了我。Jake 离开了我。Jake 警告我关于 Deacon 的事情。为什么我不听？

It feels like so many hours have passed when I knock on the door of the last person I consider a friend.
当我敲响最后一个我认为是朋友的人的门时，感觉已经过去了这么多小时。

“Winter?”
“冬天？”

“Crystal, hey. I was wondering if maybe I could stay here for a while?”
“Crystal，嘿。我在想我能不能在这里待一会儿？

The look on her face has another piece of my heart breaking.
她脸上的表情让我心碎。

“Sorry, Winter. I’m really sorry about Jake and your parents but I don’t think my parents will be okay with me letting you stay here given what happened today. They don’t want to get in trouble with the Alpha.”
“对不起，温特。我真的很抱歉杰克和你的父母，但考虑到今天发生的事情，我认为我父母不会同意我让你留在这里。他们不想和Alpha惹麻烦。

“No. Yeah, it’s okay. I…I get it.”
“没有。是的，没关系。 我。。。 我明白了。

“Winter-“
“冬天——”

“Thanks for everything.”
“谢谢你所做的一切。”

By the time I leave Crystal’s house, that’s when I realize I’ve truly lost everything.
当我离开 Crystal 的家时，我才意识到我真的失去了一切。

Ten minutes later and I’m standing by the edge of the cliff where parents in Moon Stone pack warn their kids not to go. The cliff overlooks the sea, I catch a whiff of the sea salt, listen to the calming waves which crash against the base of the cliff, then I inhale one last gulp of breath ready to end the pain…
十分钟后，我站在悬崖边上，月亮石背包里的父母警告他们的孩子不要去。悬崖俯瞰着大海，我闻到了一股海盐的味道，听着平静的海浪拍打着悬崖底部，然后我吸了最后一口气，准备结束痛苦......
十分钟后，我站在悬崖边上，月亮石背包里的父母警告他们的孩子不要去。悬崖俯瞰着大海，我闻到了一股海盐的味道，听着平静的海浪拍打着悬崖底部，然后我吸了最后一口气，准备结束痛苦......

‘Winter? We are pregnant.’
“冬天？我们怀孕了。
“冬天？我们怀孕了。

CHAPTER FOUR
第四章

DEACON
执事

ONE YEAR LATER
一年后

The mid-winter’s air filters through my nostrils, resting heavy in my lungs and bringing with it the same hollowness I’ve been feeling for days. The last of the snow pours from the skies and if you look up keenly, you can see the dark heavy clouds settle in like a curse brought forth by the Goddess herself.
隆冬的空气通过我的鼻孔过滤，沉重地停留在我的肺部，带来了我几天来一直感受到的空虚。最后一场雪从天空倾泻而下，如果你敏锐地抬头看，你可以看到乌云密布，就像女神自己带来的诅咒一样。
隆冬的空气通过我的鼻孔过滤，沉重地停留在我的肺部，带来了我几天来一直感受到的空虚。最后一场雪从天空倾泻而下，如果你敏锐地抬头看，你可以看到乌云密布，就像女神自己带来的诅咒一样。

Some would say the weather matches the occasion. Me? I’d say the weather has been this way since the Cavanaughs’ house burnt down and destroyed everything good in my pack.
有人会说天气与场合相匹配。 我？ 我想说，自从 Cavanaughs 的房子被烧毁并摧毁了我背包里所有美好的东西以来，天气就一直都是这样的。

A subtle knock sounds against the wood of my door and I pull myself from the window, settling down on the seat that felt like a throne to my father once upon a time. I take the bottle of scotch resting on my desk, pouring myself a glass.
一阵轻柔的敲门声敲打着我的门，我从窗户里站起来，坐在那个感觉像是我父亲的宝座上的座位上。我拿起放在桌上的一瓶苏格兰威士忌，给自己倒了一杯。

“Come in”, my voice comes out huskily.
“进来”，我的声音沙哑地传来。

I haven’t spoken for a while.
我已经有一段时间没有说话了。

It takes a minute for my visitor to open the door and usher herself inside.
我的访客花了一分钟时间打开门并引导自己进去。

It takes another minute for me to drink the scotch from my glass feeling it burn my throat but do nothing to soothe the burn in my chest that has continued growing bigger and bigger since my mate left.
我又花了一分钟才喝下杯子里的苏格兰威士忌，感觉它灼痛了我的喉咙，但没有任何作用来缓解我胸口的灼痛感，自从我伴侣离开后，这种灼痛就越来越大。

I’ve been having tons of visitors since my father fell sick. Today, my visitor is none other than the last woman I want to see.
自从我父亲生病以来，我一直有很多访客。今天，我的访客不是别人，正是我想见的最后一位女性。

Crystal Sanders stands in my office. Her dark hair up in a ponytail, her lips smeared by some kind of red lipstick, her body in a tiny dress that hugs all of her curves.
克里斯特尔·桑德斯（Crystal Sanders）站在我的办公室里。她的黑发扎成马尾辫，嘴唇上涂着某种红色的口红，她的身体穿着一件紧贴着她所有曲线的小裙子。
克里斯特尔·桑德斯（Crystal Sanders）站在我的办公室里。她的黑发扎成马尾辫，嘴唇上涂着某种红色的口红，她的身体穿着一件紧贴着她所有曲线的小裙子。

She’s dressed to impress for sure. Unfortunately for her, she could be standing naked in my office and I would barely notice.
她的穿着肯定是为了给人留下深刻印象。对她来说不幸的是，她可能赤身裸体地站在我的办公室里，我几乎不会注意到。
她的穿着肯定是为了给人留下深刻印象。对她来说不幸的是，她可能赤身裸体地站在我的办公室里，我几乎不会注意到。

The only woman I would kill to see naked is gone. But I’ll find her. I’ll find my mate soon and bring her back. I’ll end this torment once and for all.
我唯一想杀掉的那个女人已经走了。但我会找到她。我会很快找到我的伴侣，把她带回来。我会一劳永逸地结束这种折磨。

“Deacon”, Crystal purrs my name, her voice laced with the same sultry she’s been using on me since Winter disappeared and my father got ill
“执事”，Crystal咕噜咕噜地叫着我的名字，她的声音里夹杂着自从冬天消失和我爸爸生病后她一直在对我使用的同样的撩人
“执事”，Crystal咕噜咕噜地叫着我的名字，她的声音里夹杂着自从冬天消失和我爸爸生病后她一直在对我使用的同样的撩人

If I cared enough about her and her actions, I’d dwell on the way her eyes buzz with excitement every time she steps in my office, how she takes every opportunity to put her hands on my shoulders and how big of a smile she gives me when I speak to her. It doesn’t take a genius to see Crystal Sanders is shamelessly infatuated with me. I could care less about the whole thing.
如果我足够关心她和她的行为，我会仔细想想她每次踏入我的办公室时眼睛里兴奋地嗡嗡作响，她如何抓住一切机会把手放在我的肩膀上，以及当我和她说话时她对我露出多么灿烂的笑容。不需要天才就能看到 Crystal Sanders 无耻地迷恋我。我可以不那么关心整件事。

“Crystal.” Her name flies out of my mouth dryly.
“水晶。”她的名字干巴巴地从我嘴里飞出。

The only reason I’ve been entertaining the woman in my office is because she was Winter’s best friend once upon a time. Yet one question gnaws at my mind.If Crystal really was Winter’s best friend, why would she flirt with her best friend’s mate? Why would she go to the extent of trying to seduce her best friend’s mate with the short dresses she wears every time she comes to see me?
我一直在办公室里招待那个女人的唯一原因是因为她曾经是 Winter 最好的朋友。然而，有一个问题一直困扰着我。如果 Crystal 真的是 Winter 最好的朋友，她为什么要和她最好朋友的伴侣调情呢？为什么她会走到每次来看我时都穿的短裙试图勾引她最好朋友的伴侣的程度？

If anything, this woman was never Winter’s friend. Frankly speaking, I don’t think she understands how the concept of loyalty works.
如果有的话，这个女人从来都不是 Winter 的朋友。坦率地说，我认为她不理解忠诚的概念是如何运作的。
如果有的话，这个女人从来都不是 Winter 的朋友。坦率地说，我认为她不理解忠诚的概念是如何运作的。

“I just came from seeing Uncle Foster and the doctor said he’s doing a bit better. You shouldn’t be worried. Your father is going to be okay.”
“我刚看完福斯特叔叔，医生说他好多了。你不用担心。你爸爸会没事的。

My father has been bedridden for six months. The healers have been trying all they can to nurse him back to health, the pack has been praying for him but his state has only continued to worsen.
我父亲已经卧床不起六个月了。治疗师们一直在尽一切可能照顾他恢复健康，狼群一直在为他祈祷，但他的状况只会继续恶化。
我父亲已经卧床不起六个月了。治疗师们一直在尽一切可能照顾他恢复健康，狼群一直在为他祈祷，但他的状况只会继续恶化。

Foster Cross is not getting any better. His wolf is not healing him either. If I’m being honest, my old man is one day away from kicking the bucket and I don’t feel a morsel of pity about it.
福斯特克罗斯并没有好转。他的狼也没有治愈他。老实说，我老头子还有一天就要踢桶了，我对此没有一丝怜悯。

“Thank you for the concern, Crystal. I appreciate it”, I repeat the same words I’ve been giving every member in the pack who comes to assure me that everything will be okay with the Alpha.
“谢谢你的关心，Crystal。我很感激”，我重复了我一直对狼群中每一位前来向我保证 Alpha 一切都会好起来的相同成员的话。
“谢谢你的关心，Crystal。我很感激”，我重复了我一直对狼群中每一位前来向我保证 Alpha 一切都会好起来的相同成员的话。

Crystal’s eyes light up, as if my words have just handed her a bag of the most coveted candy.
Crystal的眼睛亮了起来，仿佛我的话刚刚递给了她一袋最令人垂涎的糖果。

“Of course. I’m here for you, Deacon. Always. I know you are still mourning Jake and you are still dealing with what Winter did to you but I’ll never leave you. I’m here to help-”
“当然。我在这里等你，迪肯。 总是。 我知道你还在哀悼杰克，你还在处理温特对你所做的一切，但我永远不会离开你。我是来帮忙的——”

The scoff that leaves my throat almost engulfs the entire room in flames.
从我喉咙里发出的嘲笑几乎将整个房间吞没在火焰中。

I haven’t heard my mate’s name since she disappeared.
自从我朋友失踪后，我就再也没有听到过她的名字。
自从我朋友失踪后，我就再也没有听到过她的名字。

“Pray tell, Crystal. What did my mate do to me?”
“请告诉我们，Crystal。我的伙伴对我做了什么？

The ice in my tone and the tick in my jaw has the woman in front of me taking a step back.
我语气中的冰冷和下巴上的滴答声让我面前的女人后退了一步。

“I just meant she left you. She just took off and left but I won’t do that. I’ll be by your side as long as you need me.”
“我只是说她离开了你。她就这样走了，但我不会那样做。只要你需要我，我就会在你身边。
“我只是说她离开了你。她就这样走了，但我不会那样做。只要你需要我，我就会在你身边。

Winter didn’t just leave me with no explanation.
冬天并没有给我留下任何解释。

I failed her. I betrayed her. I rejected her. I’m the one who left her not the other way around and I regret every second of it.
我辜负了她。我背叛了她。我拒绝了她。我是那个离开她的人，而不是相反，我每一秒都后悔。
我辜负了她。我背叛了她。我拒绝了她。我是那个离开她的人，而不是相反，我每一秒都后悔。

I’m about to educate the woman who was once my mate’s best friend about that tiny detail when someone knocks on my door for the second time of the day.
我正要把那个曾经是我朋友最好的朋友的女人告诉她这个小细节，这时有人在一天中第二次敲我的门。
我正要把那个曾经是我朋友最好的朋友的女人告诉她这个小细节，这时有人在一天中第二次敲我的门。

This time around I don’t have to shout ‘come in’ to my visitor because she barges right in.
这一次，我不必对我的访客大喊“进来”，因为她直接闯入了。

Tall, thin with graying hair and a pale look on her face, the pack’s healer looks at me and whispers the very thing I’ve been waiting for months.
她又高又瘦，头发花白，脸色苍白，这群人的治疗师看着我，低声说着我等待了几个月的事情。

“Deacon, your father… Alpha Foster wants to see you.”
“执事，你的爸爸......Alpha Foster想见你。

xxx

Small shards of the sun’s light penetrate into the room and lie across the floorboards of my father’s bedroom. Many are the times I played in this room before my mother died when I was two and my father took the role of being both mother and father to me.
阳光的小碎片穿透房间，横落在我父亲卧室的地板上。在我两岁时，我母亲去世之前，我在这个房间里玩了很多次，我父亲承担了我既是母亲又是父亲的角色。

Years later and the same room has lost my mother’s smell as well the best memories I shared with her.
多年后，同一个房间已经失去了我母亲的气味，也失去了我与她分享的最美好的回忆。

If anything, it smells like death here.
如果有的话，这里闻起来像死亡。

“Deacon. Come…Come here”, my father’s groggy voice beckons me from where he’s sleeping on the bed.
“执事。 来。。。 过来“，我父亲昏昏沉沉的声音从他睡在床上的地方向我招手。

His face is practically white, his once great body reduced to nothing but a sack of bones, his hair the same color as mine, is now gray and his lips are cracked like a man trying to hold his last breath.
他的脸几乎是白色的，他曾经伟大的身体变成了一袋骨头，他的头发和我一样，现在已经灰白了，他的嘴唇干裂，就像一个试图屏住最后一口气的人。

Except today is the day my father dies. I can see it. Can feel it and the healer said so too.
除了今天是我父亲去世的日子。我能看到。能感觉到， 治疗师也是这么说的。

I stand by his bedside watching him try to speak.
我站在他的床边，看着他试图说话。

“Dad.”
“爸爸。”

The air stirs around us, the tension so palpable I can taste it in my mouth.
空气在我们周围搅动，紧张感如此明显，我可以在嘴里尝到它。
空气在我们周围搅动，紧张感如此明显，我可以在嘴里尝到它。

“I’m dying. I’ve tried to hold on, son but this? This seems like the end of the road for me. My pack, my family… I’m leaving them behind.”
“我快死了。我试着坚持住了，孩子，但这个呢？这对我来说似乎是路的尽头。我的背包，我的家人......我要把他们丢下了。

The fake smile on my lips is enough to make my stomach churn as I assure him,”I’ll take care of everything, dad. Our family and our pack. They are mine now.”
我嘴唇上假装的笑容足以让我的胃翻腾，我向他保证，“我会照顾好一切的，爸爸。我们的家人和我们的背包。他们现在是我的了。

“Yes. Yes. You’ll be Alpha. You’ll make a good Alpha. Better… than I was. Stronger.”
“是的。 是的。 你会成为 Alpha。你会成为一个好的 Alpha。 更好。。。 比我更强壮。更强壮。

Grabbing the headboard of his bed, I lean closer to him, right where he can hear me loud and clear as every breath escapes from his body.
我抓住他床头板，靠得更近一些，就在他能听到我响亮而清晰的地方，因为每一次呼吸都从他的身体里逸出。
我抓住他床头板，靠得更近一些，就在他能听到我响亮而清晰的地方，因为每一次呼吸都从他的身体里逸出。

“I’ll make a good Alpha, dad. You know why? Because I intend to bring back the woman you forced me to reject a year ago.”
“我会成为一个好的 Alpha，爸爸。 知道为什么吗？ 因为我打算把你一年前强迫我拒绝的那个女人带回来。
“我会成为一个好的 Alpha，爸爸。 知道为什么吗？ 因为我打算把你一年前强迫我拒绝的那个女人带回来。

His bloodshot eyes go wide and he uses the only remaining strength in his body to grab my shirt. I can only smirk at that.
他睁大了布满血丝的眼睛，用他身体仅存的力量抓住了我的衬衫。我只能傻笑。
他睁大了布满血丝的眼睛，用他身体仅存的力量抓住了我的衬衫。我只能傻笑。

“You were the Alpha then and I couldn’t stop you from harming my mate but the fucking minute you die, I’ll be the Alpha, I’ll protect her, I’ll make her Luna and give you as many bouncing grandchildren as I can.”
“那时你就是Alpha，我无法阻止你伤害我的伴侣，但你他妈的死了一刻，我就会成为Alpha，我会保护她，我会让她成为Luna，并尽可能多地给你带来蹦蹦跳跳的孙子。”
“那时你就是Alpha，我无法阻止你伤害我的伴侣，但你他妈的死了一刻，我就会成为Alpha，我会保护她，我会让她成为Luna，并尽可能多地给你带来蹦蹦跳跳的孙子。”

I want him to roll in his grave as Winter and I have the happy ending we deserved.
我希望他像冬天一样在坟墓里滚来滚去，我得到了我们应得的幸福结局。
我希望他像冬天一样在坟墓里滚来滚去，我得到了我们应得的幸福结局。

“She was not…not worthy! She was a Cavanaugh! I did everything for you. I did it for you!”
“她不是......不配！她是卡瓦诺！我为你做了一切。我为你做了一切！

This man, my father, a year ago, had gone to extreme lengths to keep me away from Winter.
这个人，我的父亲，一年前，为了让我远离冬天，他不遗余力地让我离开。

“You did it for me? You have never done anything for anyone. Everything you did, you did for yourself.”
“你是为了我做的？你从来没有为任何人做过任何事情。你所做的一切都是为了你自己。

Everything that happened to my mate has been on me and I'll live to ask for forgiveness from her.
发生在我伴侣身上的一切都在我身上，我会活着请求她的原谅。

My father’s teeth grind in his mouth,the realization of what I’m about to do hitting him hard.
我爸爸的牙齿在他的嘴里磨蹭，意识到我将要做的事情狠狠地打了他一拳。

“You think I don’t know you did it, dad? That you killed Jacob, that you killed Winter’s parents? All for what? Huh? So you could teach me a lesson? Separate me from her? Well I’m swearing on your deathbed, Foster, Winter Cavanaugh will be back in my arms soon and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“你以为我不知道你干的，爸爸？你杀了雅各布，你杀了温特的父母？都是为了什么？ 哼？ 所以你能给我一个教训吗？把我和她分开？好吧，我在你临终前发誓，福斯特，温特·卡瓦诺很快就会回到我的怀里，你对此无能为力。

My words turn out to be the sharpest blades that have ever sliced his body. The horrific look on his face only makes his white skin turn paler almost like how a wounded animal discovers there’s no way to escape the predator. And death? It might be the biggest predator of all.
我的话竟然是划破他身体的最锋利的刀刃。他脸上可怕的表情只会让他白皙的皮肤变得更加苍白，几乎就像一只受伤的动物发现没有办法逃脱捕食者一样。那么死亡呢？它可能是最大的捕食者。
我的话竟然是划破他身体的最锋利的刀刃。他脸上可怕的表情只会让他白皙的皮肤变得更加苍白，几乎就像一只受伤的动物发现没有办法逃脱捕食者一样。那么死亡呢？它可能是最大的捕食者。

His hands, which are now more boneless than anything, grip my shirt but with the disease festering in his blood like poison, the almighty Foster can’t do the very thing his mind is telling him to.
他的手现在比任何东西都更无骨，紧紧抓住我的衬衫，但随着疾病像毒药一样在他的血液中溃烂，全能的福斯特无法做他心中告诉他的事情。
他的手现在比任何东西都更无骨，紧紧抓住我的衬衫，但随着疾病像毒药一样在他的血液中溃烂，全能的福斯特无法做他心中告诉他的事情。

He wants to punch me. To put me in line. Joke’s on him because this is the last time we breathe the same air.
他想打我一拳。让我排队。开他的玩笑，因为这是我们最后一次呼吸同样的空气。

Bloodshot eyes, the color of a madman, lock in on me as he opens his mouth trying to fight me,”You are not going… to ruin your future. Over my dead body, you will not-”
布满血丝的眼睛，疯子的颜色，盯着我，张开嘴试图与我打架，“你不会......毁了你的未来。在我的尸体上，你不会——”

I’m about to inform him he’s already going to be dead by sunset but fate takes its natural course.
我正要告诉他，他已经在日落前死了，但命运自然而然。
我正要告诉他，他已经在日落前死了，但命运自然而然。

My father’s hands loosen against the collar of my shirt and I take a step away watching the Almighty Foster Cross break into a series of uncontrollable coughs.The coughs turn into him squelching blood from his mouth and nose.
父亲的手松开了我的衬衫领子，我向外走了一步，看着全能的福斯特十字架爆发出一连串无法控制的咳嗽。咳嗽变成了他从嘴巴和鼻子里挤出血来。

Angling his head so our eyes can meet, his frail hand reaches out to me, seeking sympathy but there is no sympathy for a wicked man like him.
他倾斜着头，让我们的眼睛能相遇，他虚弱的手向我伸出，寻求同情，但对像他这样的恶人没有同情。
他倾斜着头，让我们的眼睛能相遇，他虚弱的手向我伸出，寻求同情，但对像他这样的恶人没有同情。

“Deacon…help…me.”
“执事...... 帮助。。。 我。

I watch the once great Alpha of Moonstone pack choke on his own blood while he begs me to help him.
我看着曾经伟大的月光石阿尔法背包被自己的血呛死，同时他恳求我帮助他。
我看着曾经伟大的月光石阿尔法背包被自己的血呛死，同时他恳求我帮助他。

I don’t help him of course because death comes for him faster than the shock can do so. The beeping machines near his bed roar louder than my breathing.
当然，我不会帮助他，因为死亡来得比电击来得更快。他床边的哔哔声比我的呼吸声还要响亮。
当然，我不会帮助他，因为死亡来得比电击来得更快。他床边的哔哔声比我的呼吸声还要响亮。

The healer and her assistants run into the room trying to revive my father but I know the truth.
治疗师和她的助手跑进房间，试图救活我父亲，但我知道真相。

Foster Cross is dead and I’m the new alpha of the Moonstone pack.
福斯特·克洛斯已经死了，我是月光石包的新首领。

Two minutes later, I’m holding my little sister, Mia, in my arms as she sobs over our father’s death. I barely shed a tear as they announce that the alpha is dead.
两分钟后，我把我的小妹妹 Mia 抱在怀里，她为我们父亲的死而哭泣。当他们宣布 Alpha 已经死了时，我几乎没流下一滴眼泪。
两分钟后，我把我的小妹妹 Mia 抱在怀里，她为我们父亲的死而哭泣。当他们宣布 Alpha 已经死了时，我几乎没流下一滴眼泪。

The mourning goes on for about three days. The burial preparations are held by the pack.
哀悼持续大约三天。安葬的准备工作由狼群保管。

I stand in my office, the room that has been my friend for days, looking at the betas I hired to follow Winter when she left the town.
我站在我的办公室里，这个房间是我好几天的朋友，看着我雇来的 beta 版，当 Winter 离开小镇时，我跟踪她。
我站在我的办公室里，这个房间是我好几天的朋友，看着我雇来的 beta 版，当 Winter 离开小镇时，我跟踪她。

My heart pounds in my mouth. The thrill of finally being with my mate licks my veins and gives me life. I can almost hear my wolf growling in anticipation.
我的心在嘴里砰砰直跳。终于和我的伴侣在一起的兴奋舔舐着我的血管，给了我生命。我几乎可以听到我的狼在期待中咆哮。

I’m coming for you, baby.
我来找你了，宝贝。

We are going to finally be together.
我们终于要在一起了。

“Where is my mate?” I ask.
“我的伙伴在哪里？”我问。

“Alpha Deacon, we tried to follow her just like you asked but we lost track of her eight months ago.”
“Alpha Deacon，我们试着按照你的要求跟踪她，但我们在八个月前就失去了她的踪迹。”
“Alpha Deacon，我们试着按照你的要求跟踪她，但我们在八个月前就失去了她的踪迹。”

CHAPTER FIVE
第五章

WINTER
冬

SEVEN YEARS LATER
七年后

A smirk folds on my lips and in no time, it stretches to a smile as I watch the two tiny three foot tall monsters wipe their cheeks with the back of their hands.
我的嘴唇上浮现出一丝得意的笑容，很快，当我看着两个三英尺高的小怪物用手背擦拭脸颊时，它变成了微笑。

Normally on a late morning like this, I would be scolding them for their behavior but how do I scold two boys who have brown chocolate smeared on their cheeks and are currently looking at me with the most innocent looks they can muster?
通常在这样的深夜，我会因为他们的行为而责骂他们，但我怎么责骂两个脸颊上涂着棕色巧克力的男孩，他们现在正用他们能聚集起来的最无辜的眼神看着我呢？
通常在这样的深夜，我会因为他们的行为而责骂他们，但我怎么责骂两个脸颊上涂着棕色巧克力的男孩，他们现在正用他们能聚集起来的最无辜的眼神看着我呢？

I place a hand on my hip, lifting a brow, “I’m going to ask again, boys. Who ate the last remaining piece of chocolate cake that was meant for mommy?”
我把一只手放在臀部上，扬起眉毛，“我要再问一次，孩子们。谁吃了最后一块本来是给妈妈的巧克力蛋糕的？

Adrian’s blue-green eyes land on me and he nods his head saying, “Not me, mommy.”
阿德里安蓝绿色的眼睛落在我身上，他点点头说：“不是我，妈妈。

I fight back a chuckle.
我忍住笑声。

Adrian has pieces of said cake on his right cheek and on his nose.
Adrian 的右脸颊和鼻子上有一块蛋糕。
Adrian 的右脸颊和鼻子上有一块蛋糕。

Turning to Asher, I toss him the same question, “Do you have any clue who ate mommy’s cake, Asher?”
我转向 Asher，向他抛出同样的问题，“你知道谁吃了妈糕吗，Asher？
我转向 Asher，向他抛出同样的问题，“你知道谁吃了妈糕吗，Asher？

Asher whispers back a ‘no’ just as fast as his brother did. I’m about to reprimand them for their behavior when the buzzing sound of my doorbell spears the air.
Asher低声回答说“不”，就像他哥哥一样快。我正要训斥他们的行为，这时我的门铃嗡嗡作响。

I don’t have to guess to know it’s Isabel, my twins’ nanny, by the door. She comes in right before I go to work, prepares the kids’ lunches and drops the kids at school. She also picks them up from school for me when work runs late in the office. Safe to say, she’s been the only nanny to my boys since I arrived in Bracken City. Bonus point being my boys loved her as soon as they met her.
我不必猜测就知道门口是我双胞胎的保姆伊莎贝尔。她在我上班之前进来，为孩子们准备午餐，然后送孩子们上学。当办公室工作迟到时，她还会帮我从学校接他们。可以肯定地说，自从我来到布雷肯城以来，她一直是我儿子们唯一的保姆。额外的一点是，我的儿子们一见到她就爱上了她。
我不必猜测就知道门口是我双胞胎的保姆伊莎贝尔。她在我上班之前进来，为孩子们准备午餐，然后送孩子们上学。当办公室工作迟到时，她还会帮我从学校接他们。可以肯定地说，自从我来到布雷肯城以来，她一直是我儿子们唯一的保姆。额外的一点是，我的儿子们一见到她就爱上了她。

“Isabel!” Asher shouts in excitement.
“伊莎贝尔！”Asher 兴奋地喊道。

Putting on my other pair of heels and straightening my skirt, I walk to the door opening it. Isabel walks right in greeting me with a jolly ‘good morning’.
穿上另一双高跟鞋，整理好裙子，我走到门前打开了门。伊莎贝尔径直走进来，高兴地向我打招呼，说了一声“早上好”。

“Running late?” She asks.
“迟到？”她问。

I tuck my blouse in my skirt, looking for my coat and bag that are somewhere resting on the couch if the boys didn’t move them. I’m hoping they didn’t, otherwise I'll be running ten minutes late to work.
我把衬衫塞进裙子里，寻找我的外套和包，如果男孩们不动的话，它们就放在沙发上的某个地方。我希望他们没有，否则我上班会迟到十分钟。

“Almost late. Someone stole my chocolate cake from the fridge and we’ve been trying to figure out who did it.”
“快迟到了。有人从冰箱里偷了我的巧克力蛋糕，我们一直在试图找出是谁做的。
“快迟到了。有人从冰箱里偷了我的巧克力蛋糕，我们一直在试图找出是谁做的。

My eyes flick to the boys standing guiltily near the kitchen island. Isabel gives me a knowing look, stifling back a chuckle.
我的眼睛瞥向站在厨房岛台附近的男孩们。伊莎贝尔会心地看了我一眼，忍住了笑声。

I move to the living room, taking an approximate five minutes to find my coat and bag and fix everything else. Isabel’s laughter and my boys’ voices come from the kitchen and the sound of it all makes my heart ache a little.
我搬到客厅，花了大约五分钟的时间找到我的外套和包，并整理好其他所有东西。伊莎贝尔的笑声和我儿子们的声音从厨房传来，这一切的声音让我的心有点痛。

I would give everything to spend every second of my time with Adrian and Asher but unfortunately I can't afford the privilege. Life in Bracken city is expensive and working as an assistant barely pays enough for me to retire or take off-days.
我愿意付出一切，把每一秒的时间都花在Adrian和Asher身上，但不幸的是，我负担不起这种特权。布雷肯城的生活很昂贵，做助理的薪水勉强够我退休或休假。

But I’m content with my family as it is. Life is good and I have my boys to thank for that. I wouldn’t be alive without them.
但我对我的家庭现状感到满意。生活很美好，我要感谢我的儿子们。没有他们，我就不会活着。
但我对我的家庭现状感到满意。生活很美好，我要感谢我的儿子们。没有他们，我就不会活着。

Wiping the memories from my mind, I move to the kitchen and it takes less than a second before my boys come hugging each of my feet. I almost fall down from the weight.
抹去脑海中的记忆，我走到厨房，不到一秒钟，我的孩子们就抱住了我的每一只脚。我差点从重物中摔下来。

“I’m sorry, mommy!” Asher shouts, his onyx dark eyes, landing on me with a pool of unshed tears. “I ate the cake. I’m sorry.”
“对不起，妈妈！”Asher喊道，他那双缟玛瑙般的黑眼睛，落在我身上，泪水一滩未流出。“我吃了蛋糕。对不起。

“I ate the cake too. Sorry, mommy.” Adrian follows.
“我也吃了蛋糕。对不起，妈妈。”Adrian紧随其后。

I ruffle their hair before kneeling on the tiled floor to be at a level with them.
我捋了捋他们的头发，然后跪在瓷砖地板上，与他们齐平。

Goddess, I never thought seven years later, I’d be having the sweetest boys to ever walk the earth but here we are. Adrian and Asher both look like him. From the unruly dark hair, to his dark consuming eyes, to his face and to that mole on the back of their necks, Goddess do they look like him and I should hate it but Asher and Adrian are mine. My babies. My children.
女神，我从没想过七年后，我会拥有地球上有史以来最甜美的男孩，但我们在这里。Adrian 和 Asher 都长得像他。从不羁的黑发，到他那双深邃的眼睛，到他的脸，再到他们脖子后面的那颗痣，女神们都长得像他，我应该讨厌它，但 Asher 和 Adrian 是我的。我的孩子。我的孩子。

“What did we say about eating desserts before breakfast?” I ask.
“我们说早餐前吃甜点是怎么说的？”我问。

“That we shouldn’t eat cake without mommy’s permission”, Asher responds.
“未经妈妈允许，我们不应该吃蛋糕”，Asher 回答道。

“That we shouldn’t lie to mommy when we eat cake without her permission”, Adrian adds.
“当我们未经妈妈允许吃蛋糕时，我们不应该对妈妈撒谎”，Adrian 补充道。

Isable chuckles behind them shaking her head.
Isable在他们身后咯咯地笑着，摇了摇头。

“That’s right. Give mommy a kiss then?”
“没错。那给妈妈一个吻吧？

They both give me a kiss on the cheek. The same kisses that have always started my day.
他们俩都亲吻了我的脸颊。同样的吻总是开始我的一天。
他们俩都亲吻了我的脸颊。同样的吻总是开始我的一天。

“We love you mommy.”
“我们爱妈。”

And I love you more than anything in this world.
我爱你胜过这个世界上的任何事情。

“I love you too, baby. Have a good day in school and no giving Isabel a hard time, yeah?”
“我也爱你，宝贝。祝你在学校度过美好的一天，不要让伊莎贝尔难过，对吧？

“Yes, mommy.”
“是的，妈妈。”

I shower them with kisses five minutes later, knowing that walking out that door to go to work always kills me every time.
五分钟后，我亲吻了他们，因为我知道每次走出那扇门去上班总是要了我的命。

The upside of Bracken City, the one that drew me here more than anything, is the lack of bullshit rules and expectations from the society. The same rules and expectations that were enforced in the pack I grew up in. Here, betas and omegas coexist without there being an Alpha to dictate what ought to be done or a pack you have to belong to. Everyone minds their business, beta, omega, no one cares about you or your past. An added bonus point to why I like this city is that Alphas are rare to find here. The downside of living in Bracken City however, more than the heat that beats down my car and seeps all the way down to my blouse, is the traffic. Two missed calls from my manager and one from my best friend and coworker, Julie, tells me I’m on the verge of being fired for running late.
Bracken City 的好处，也是最吸引我来到这里的一个，是没有来自社会的狗屁规则和期望。在我长大的群体中强制执行的规则和期望相同。在这里，beta 和 omega 共存，没有 Alpha 来规定应该做什么，也没有你必须属于的群体。每个人都在乎自己的事，beta、omega，没有人关心你或你的过去。 我喜欢这座城市的另一个好处是，这里很少见 Alpha。然而，住在 Bracken City 的缺点是，比起热气冲刷我的车并一直渗到我的衬衫，更多的是交通。我的经理和我最好的朋友兼同事 Julie 的两个未接电话告诉我，我正处于因迟到而被解雇的边缘。

I tap my steering wheel furiously, my eyes lingering outside the window at the miles and miles of cars that don’t seem like they’ll be moving soon.
我疯狂地敲打着方向盘，我的眼睛在窗外徘徊着，看着数英里的汽车，它们似乎不会很快移动。
我疯狂地敲打着方向盘，我的眼睛在窗外徘徊着，看着数英里的汽车，它们似乎不会很快移动。

‘Relax. We’ll be there on time.’ My wolf assures me so I try to breathe gazing at the clear blue skies, the palm trees that are as tall as the buildings, breathing in the smell of gas from the cars and a distant scent of ground coffee beans.
“放松。我们会准时到的。我的狼向我保证，所以我试着呼吸，凝视着湛蓝的天空，与建筑物一样高的棕榈树，呼吸着汽车的汽油味和遥远的咖啡粉香味。
“放松。我们会准时到的。我的狼向我保证，所以我试着呼吸，凝视着湛蓝的天空，与建筑物一样高的棕榈树，呼吸着汽车的汽油味和遥远的咖啡粉香味。

Bracken City and Moonstone city are two worlds apart. The place I was born in didn’t have such buildings or cars or such noise. I’m pretty sure Jake would have loved this city and the thought of him brings the same pain I’ve been feeling for years. The one that impales my heart when I think of home and my family.
布雷肯城和月光石城是两个不同的世界。我出生的地方没有这样的建筑、汽车或这样的噪音。我很确定杰克会喜欢这个城市，一想到他，我就会感到同样的痛苦。当我想到家和家人时，它刺痛了我的心。

Fortunately, like the universe can feel me teetering to the abyss, the traffic starts moving and in less than ten minutes, my car pulls up in Bracken Holdings, the shipping company I’ve been working in for close to five years.
幸运的是，就像宇宙能感觉到我摇摇欲坠地走向深渊一样，交通开始移动，在不到十分钟的时间里，我的车停在了 Bracken Holdings，这是我工作了近五年的航运公司。
幸运的是，就像宇宙能感觉到我摇摇欲坠地走向深渊一样，交通开始移动，在不到十分钟的时间里，我的车停在了 Bracken Holdings，这是我工作了近五年的航运公司。

Taking the usual lift with my fellow coworkers today feels off. Again I could blame it on the heat inside the lift that has all of us sweating like pigs and sharing the same muggy air but something is off.
今天和我的同事一起乘坐通常的电梯感觉很不对劲。 我又可以把它归咎于电梯内的热量，我们所有人都像猪一样出汗，分享同样闷热的空气，但有些地方不对劲。

It starts the very minute Ashley from the human resources department whispers something to her friend.
它从人力资源部门的 Ashley 与她的朋友耳语的那一刻开始。

“I heard he’s coming in today and apparently it’s mandatory for everyone to be present when he comes in.”
“我听说他今天要来，显然他进来时每个人都必须在场。”

I’m not eavesdropping if everyone in the lift can hear her too. While Julie and Luka like work gossip more than they like doing actual work, I’ve never cared about said gossip but something about what Ashley says makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand.
如果电梯里的每个人都能听到她的声音，我就不会偷听。虽然 Julie 和 Luka 更喜欢工作八卦而不是做实际工作，但我从来不在乎这些八卦，但 Ashley 所说的一些事情让我脖子后面的汗毛竖起来。

Who’s coming? The boss? And if he wants everyone to be present when he comes in, it can only mean two things. Either some of us are getting promoted or some of us are getting fired. I’m praying to the Goddess that it’s the former.
谁来了？老板？如果他想让他进来时每个人都在场，那只能意味着两件事。要么我们中的一些人升职，要么我们中的一些人被解雇。我在向女神祈祷，是前者。
谁来了？老板？如果他想让他进来时每个人都在场，那只能意味着两件事。要么我们中的一些人升职，要么我们中的一些人被解雇。我在向女神祈祷，是前者。

“Mr. Wilfred has never shown his face in the office. Okay maybe once and that was last year because of an emergency so why now?” Ashley’s friend asks.
“威尔弗雷德先生从来没有在办公室露过脸。好吧，也许有一次，那是去年因为紧急情况，为什么是现在呢？”Ashley 的朋友问道。
“威尔弗雷德先生从来没有在办公室露过脸。好吧，也许有一次，那是去年因为紧急情况，为什么是现在呢？”Ashley 的朋友问道。

The numbers on the lift increase by the second and my heart pulses by the minute as I await Ashley’s answer.
电梯上的数字每秒钟增加，我的心每分钟都在跳动，等待 Ashley 的回答。

“Oh no. Rumor around the office is, Mr. Wilfred is no longer the boss. We have a new boss. Apparently he’s an Alpha.”
“哦，不。办公室里有传言说，Wilfred先生不再是老板了。我们有了新的老板。显然他是Alpha。

The way Ashley purrs the word ‘Alpha’ almost makes me sicker than the news of having a new boss but there’s no denying that everyone inside the elevator has a gasp lodged in their throats.
Ashley 咕噜咕噜地说出“Alpha”这个词的方式几乎让我比新老板的消息更糟糕，但不可否认的是，电梯里的每个人都喉咙里都哽咽着。
Ashley 咕噜咕噜地说出“Alpha”这个词的方式几乎让我比新老板的消息更糟糕，但不可否认的是，电梯里的每个人都喉咙里都哽咽着。

Alphas in Bracken city are as rare as finding diamonds in the sand so to hear that the new boss is an Alpha takes everyone by surprise. I can almost hear their thoughts. An Alpha being the boss would mean everyone has no choice but to obey and submit because Alphas are generally intimidating beings
布雷肯城的 Alpha 就像在沙子里找到钻石一样稀有，所以听到新 Boss 是 Alpha 让每个人都感到惊讶。我几乎可以听到他们的想法。Alpha 成为 Boss 意味着每个人都别无选择，只能服从和屈服，因为 Alpha 通常是令人生畏的生物
布雷肯城的 Alpha 就像在沙子里找到钻石一样稀有，所以听到新 Boss 是 Alpha 让每个人都感到惊讶。我几乎可以听到他们的想法。Alpha 成为 Boss 意味着每个人都别无选择，只能服从和屈服，因为 Alpha 通常是令人生畏的生物

The lift doors part and I move out quickly heading to the finance department where I work as an assistant to the head of the aforementioned department.
电梯门部分，我迅速出发前往财务部门，在那里我担任上述部门负责人的助理。
电梯门部分，我迅速出发前往财务部门，在那里我担任上述部门负责人的助理。

I barely make it to my manager's office when Luka steps in my way and Julie shows up out of nowhere pulling me to her work station.
我刚到经理办公室，Luka 挡住了我的去路，Julie 突然出现，把我拉到她的工作站。
我刚到经理办公室，Luka 挡住了我的去路，Julie 突然出现，把我拉到她的工作站。

“As much as I love running into you guys, my manager will kill me if I don’t make it to-”
“虽然我很喜欢碰到你们，但如果我不来——”

“Your manager got fired”, Luka cuts me off with a smile.
“你的经理被解雇了”，Luka 微笑着打断了我。

Blood drains from my face, my lungs almost collapsing.
鲜血从我的脸上流走，我的肺几乎要崩溃了。

“What do you mean he got fired?Him being fired means… I no longer have a job?
“你说他被解雇了什么？他被解雇意味着......我没有工作了？

Julie, the calm one, the omega who befriended me on my first day here puts her hand on my shoulder, giving me a placating smile,”What Luka is trying to say is, every head of every department got fired.”
朱莉，那个冷静的那个，那个在我来的第一天就和我交朋友的omega，把手放在我的肩膀上，对我露出一个安抚的微笑，“卢卡想说的是，每个部门的每一位负责人都被解雇了。

“Does this have to do with the new boss? Ashley was talking about it in the lift but I thought she was bluffing.”
“这和新老板有关系吗？Ashley 在电梯里谈论这件事，但我认为她在虚张声势。

Fuck. Ashley wasn’t lying at all.
他妈的。 Ashley 根本没有撒谎。

Luka, pushes back his hair, that brown gelled hair he treats like his child, before he rolls his eyes, “Of course Ashley knows about the new boss. That leech knows about every single guy, especially if said guy comes with dollar bills dripping from his pockets.”
卢卡拨开他的头发，那一头棕色的凝胶状头发，他像对待自己的孩子一样，然后翻了个白眼，“阿什利当然知道新老板的事情。那个水蛭知道每一个人，特别是如果那个家伙的口袋里滴着美元钞票的话。

My lungs only deflate further. What does a new boss mean for us assistants?
我的肺只会进一步放气。新老板对我们助理意味着什么？
我的肺只会进一步放气。新老板对我们助理意味着什么？

“You know him?” It seems I'm the only one who doesn’t.
“你认识他？”看来我是唯一一个不认识的人。

“Nope. Heard of him today. And what I've heard tells me it’s either we are losing our jobs or getting a new ruthless boss. They are saying he has money practically leaking from his pockets. He’s a billionaire who’s investing in companies like ours for fun and when he gets tired he’ll toss all of us aside. I heard he acquired casinos as well as two of the largest shipping industries in Bracken city in a span of two years and before you ask, he accomplished this by making sure his employees worked to the bone.”
“没有。今天听说过他。我听到的消息告诉我，要么我们失去了工作，要么得到了一个新的无情的老板。他们说他的口袋里几乎有钱漏出来。他是一个亿万富翁，投资像我们这样的公司是为了好玩，当他累了时，他会把我们所有人扔到一边。我听说他在两年内收购了布拉肯城的赌场以及两个最大的航运业，在你问之前，他通过确保他的员工工作到骨子里来做到这一点。

I know how ruthless Alphas can be and yet I still try to fight the rumor mill that is starting to make me weak in the knees, “I’m sure he’s not that bad, Luka.”
我知道 Alpha 有多么无情，但我仍然试图与开始让我膝盖发软的谣言作斗争，“我确定他没有那么糟糕，Luka。
我知道 Alpha 有多么无情，但我仍然试图与开始让我膝盖发软的谣言作斗争，“我确定他没有那么糟糕，Luka。

Luka’s mocking laughter follows, telling me he’s not yet finished.
Luka 嘲讽的笑声接踵而至，告诉我他还没有完成。

“If that isn’t surprising enough, the new boss is apparently so handsome, he has women like Ashley falling at his feet everyday. The irony being, he rejects every single woman to ever approach him. I’m calling it now, we should be prepared to say goodbye to our jobs.”
“如果这还不够令人惊讶的话，新老板显然是如此英俊，他每天都有像 Ashley 这样的女人倒在他的脚下。具有讽刺意味的是，他拒绝每一个女人接近他。我现在打电话，我们应该准备好告别我们的工作。

I can feel Julie’s smile and hear her statement before she even states it,”Maybe he’s a good Alpha. Come on, give the new guy the benefit of the doubt.”
我能感觉到 Julie 的微笑，甚至在她说之前就听到了她的陈述，“也许他是一个好的 Alpha。来吧，给这个新家伙怀疑的好处。

I’m the one to crush her little statement, “No Alphas are good, Julie, Especially ones with power.”
我是那个粉碎她小小话的人，“没有 Alpha 是好的，Julie，尤其是那些有力量的人。

I leant that the hard way but I don’t tell my friends that. I’m almost recovering from the shock of how my work will be affected by all this when the only remaining manager in the building calls all of us so we can gather around and meet the new boss.
我以艰难的方式努力，但我没有告诉我的朋友。我几乎要从这一切会影响我的工作的震惊中恢复过来，这时大楼里唯一剩下的经理打电话给我们所有人，让我们聚在一起见新老板。
我以艰难的方式努力，但我没有告诉我的朋友。我几乎要从这一切会影响我的工作的震惊中恢复过来，这时大楼里唯一剩下的经理打电话给我们所有人，让我们聚在一起见新老板。

Julie, Luka and everyone who works in Bracken Holdings, stands at least ten feet away from the elevator. Rumors fly around about how cold the new billionaire is. Some whisper about how this new boss has won battles for his pack before he decided to venture into the clean world of business and money.
朱莉、卢卡和在 Bracken Holdings 工作的每个人都站在离电梯至少十英尺远的地方。关于这位新亿万富翁有多冷淡的谣言四起。有些人低声说，这个新老板在决定冒险进入商业和金钱的干净世界之前是如何为他的团队赢得战斗的。
朱莉、卢卡和在 Bracken Holdings 工作的每个人都站在离电梯至少十英尺远的地方。关于这位新亿万富翁有多冷淡的谣言四起。有些人低声说，这个新老板在决定冒险进入商业和金钱的干净世界之前是如何为他的团队赢得战斗的。

I’m shaking inwardly from what awaits me and my job.
我内心为等待我和我的工作的事情而颤抖。

I can feel my wolf stir inside me with the same fear.
我能感觉到我的狼带着同样的恐惧在我心中搅动。
我能感觉到我的狼带着同样的恐惧在我心中搅动。

And maybe that should have been my first clue that everything was about to change.
也许这应该是我的第一个线索，一切都即将改变。
也许这应该是我的第一个线索，一切都即将改变。

Maybe I should have relied on that instinct inside me that buzzed the minute I stood there with my friends, like sheep huddled together waiting for the big bad wolf.
也许我应该依靠我内心的那种本能，当我和朋友们站在那里的那一刻，它就嗡嗡作响，就像羊挤在一起等待大灰狼一样。

Because the minute the elevator doors open, revealing an expensive Brioni suit, a glinting Rolex on his wrist and a six foot three man in said suit, the ground beneath my heels shakes.
因为当电梯门打开的那一刻，露出一套昂贵的 Brioni 西装，手腕上戴着一枚闪闪发光的劳力士手表，还有一个穿着这套西装的 6 英尺 3 英尺的男人，我脚后跟下的地面都在颤抖。

“Oh Goddess, he looks like he fell from the heavens”,a woman I recognize from the printing room, shrieks in a high-pitched voice.
“哦，女神，他看起来就像从天上掉下来的”，我从印刷室认出一个女人，用高亢的声音尖叫着。

“He’s so hot!” Ashley’s sickeningly sweet voice joins the bandwagon. Murmurs fly around within seconds like fireworks exploding after getting a whiff of fire.
“他好热！”Ashley 令人作呕的甜美嗓音也加入了这股潮流。杂音在几秒钟内飞来飞去，就像闻到一丝火光后爆炸的烟花一样。

My feet remain rooted to the ground as almost everyone moves to get closer to the new boss.
我的脚仍然扎根于地面，因为几乎每个人都移动以靠近新 Boss。

An almost too familiar scent, the one that appears in my nightmares and haunts me to no end, hangs so thickly in the air, I can almost feel my entire body getting covered in hives.
一种几乎太熟悉的气味，出现在我的噩梦中并无休止地困扰着我，它如此浓密地悬挂在空气中，我几乎可以感觉到我的整个身体都被荨麻疹覆盖。
一种几乎太熟悉的气味，出现在我的噩梦中并无休止地困扰着我，它如此浓密地悬挂在空气中，我几乎可以感觉到我的整个身体都被荨麻疹覆盖。

Dark hair, the same as my sons’, comes to sight,The same hair I ran my fingers in on that unforgettable night The memory of that forbidden night churns my soul more than the scent that has rendered me immobile.
黑发，和我儿子的一样，映入眼帘，在那个难忘的夜晚，我用手指抚摸的同一根头发 那个禁忌之夜的记忆比使我动弹不得的气味更能搅动我的灵魂。

Sharp muscled jaw, hardened by years of being apart, taunts me from a distance.
尖锐的肌肉发达的下巴，因多年的分离而变得坚硬，从远处嘲笑着我。
尖锐的肌肉发达的下巴，因多年的分离而变得坚硬，从远处嘲笑着我。

My wolf and I are taken back to the days when he and his calming presence were everything that mattered to us as our world came crumbling down..
我和我的狼被带回到了那个日子，那时他和他的平静存在对我们来说就是一切，因为我们的世界正在崩溃..

Muscles not from a boy but from a man who’s grown to be the Alpha he was always destined to be, mock every female in the room. Every female but me.
肌肉不是来自一个男孩，而是来自一个已经成长为他注定要成为的 Alpha 的男人，嘲笑房间里的每一个女性。除了我之外的每一个女性。

I can taste the rush of the severed bond between us slowly flickering to a dulling pain in my chest and I refuse to let it cripple me. I refuse to let the burn behind my eyes win too.
我能尝到我们之间被切断的纽带的冲动，慢慢地闪烁成胸口的钝痛，我拒绝让它使我瘫痪。我也拒绝让我眼后的灼热获胜。

When cold, dark eyes search the room finding me a throng of people,my throat closes in on itself, my heart, the one that this man left bleeding in chains, pounds against my chest cavity.
当冰冷、黑暗的眼睛在房间里搜索时，发现我有一大群人，我的喉咙紧闭了，我的心脏，这个男人用锁链流血的那颗，砰砰作响。

My first instinct urges me to escape, get out of here, take everything and run. Because I have everything to lose.
我的第一直觉催促我逃离，离开这里，带走一切然后逃跑。因为我有一切可以失去。

My second instinct tells me that he’s not real, that he’s not here but I know those eyes.
我的第二直觉告诉我，他不是真的，他不在这里，但我知道那双眼睛。

Seven years later and I know the man looking at me like I wronged him is none other than Deacon freaking Cross, my new boss.
七年后，我知道那个看着我就像我冤枉了他一样的男人不是别人，正是我的新老板 Deacon 这个该死的 Cross。

CHAPTER SIX
第六章

DEACON
执事

All good things come to those who wait.
所有美好的事物都会降临到等待的人身上。

I haven’t waited seven years because I’m one patient man.
我没有等七年，因为我是一个有耐心的人。

I have waited seven years because my mate has been that good and elusive at hiding.
我已经等了七年，因为我的伴侣一直那么善于躲藏。

Years of saying her name in dreams, nightmares, while at wars, under my shower, in almost everything I fucking saw and finally, the wait is over. And this time, there’s no running from me, Winter Cavanaugh.
多年来，我在梦中、噩梦中、在战争中、在我的淋浴下、在我他妈看到的几乎所有东西中说出她的名字，终于，等待结束了。而这一次，我没有逃避的办法，温特·卡瓦诺。

The many ‘congratulations for acquiring Bracken Holdings’ splice the air around me, the welcome jubilee that’s headed by a few omegas and betas, cocoons me with handshakes and all manner of greetings but my eyes hone in on the woman who’s looking at me with such distaste I can almost sniff it in the air.
许多“祝贺收购 Bracken Holdings”在我周围穿插，由几位 omega 和 beta 领导的欢迎禧年，用握手和各种问候将我包裹住，但我的眼睛盯着那个女人，她以如此厌恶的眼神看着我，我几乎可以在空气中闻到它。

Hate me as much as your little heart desires, baby. Give me your hate, I can take it.
你小小的心灵多么渴望就恨我多少，宝贝。把你的恨给我，我能接受。
你小小的心灵渴望多少就恨我多少，宝贝。把你的恨给我，我能接受。

The same green eyes that bore into mine, that dilated with pleasure as I sucked her neck and pumped inside her, are no longer filled with the same desire or the same innocence from seven years ago.
那双钻进我体内的绿色眼睛，在我吮吸她的脖子和她的体内时因快乐而瞪大，不再充满七年前的同样的欲望或同样的纯真。
那双钻进我体内的绿色眼睛，那双眼睛在我吮吸她的脖子和她的时候，因快感而瞪大，不再充满七年前的同样的欲望或同样的纯真。

If anything, those green eyes look different. More mature. More resilient.
如果有的话，那双绿色的眼睛看起来不一样。更成熟。更有弹性。
如果有的话，那双绿色的眼睛看起来不一样。更成熟。更有弹性。

That blonde hair I ran my hands in while I made love to her in those woods has now been dyed to brown. I’d say I prefer her blonde hair but her brown hair makes my blood light aflame. Like gasoline to an inferno.
我在那些树林里和她做爱时用手摸进去的那头金发现在已经染成了棕色。我想说我更喜欢她的金发，但她的棕色头发让我的血液燃烧起来。就像汽油之于地狱。

But most of all, as much as seven years have changed me, so have they changed my mate.
但最重要的是，七年改变了我，他们也改变了我的伴侣。

The age of twenty five looks good on her. That professional getup she has on hugs her voluptuous curves. Curves that have only grown bigger with time.
二十五岁 对她来说很好看。她穿着的那套专业装扮拥抱着她性感的曲线。随着时间的推移，曲线只会变得更大。

Jacob would be smiling if he saw her right about now. She survived for seven years all on her own and that takes strength. I’m more proud of her than she knows.
如果雅各布现在看到她，他会微笑。她独自活了七年，这需要力量。我为她感到骄傲，比她知道的还要多。

My eyes sweep another look on her face, committing every new feature to detail, locking everything new about her inside my mind because that’s where she has lived tormenting me.
我的眼睛在她的脸上扫过另一个表情，将每一个新的特征都投入到细节中，将关于她的一切新事物都锁在我的脑海中，因为那是她折磨我的地方。
我的眼睛在她的脸上扫过另一个表情，将每一个新的特征都投入到细节中，将关于她的一切新事物都锁在我的脑海中，因为那是她折磨我的地方。

Does she know how long I have been looking for her? How crazy and manic, my wolf and I have been without her?
她知道我找她多久了吗？没有她，我和我的狼是多么疯狂和狂躁？
她知道我找她多久了吗？没有她，我和我的狼是多么疯狂和狂躁？

Does she know I found her a week ago, bought this bankrupt company she works for, for twelve million dollars so I could become close to her without her running away from me?
她知道我一周前找到了她，以一千二百万美元的价格买下了她工作的这家破产公司，这样我就可以在不让她离开我的情况下接近她吗？
她知道我一周前找到了她，以一千二百万美元的价格买下了她工作的这家破产公司，这样我就可以在不让她离开我的情况下接近她吗？

“Boss? Your office is right this way. Let me show you around”, the middle-aged man, who smells like an omega, pats me on the shoulder like we are acquaintances.
“老板？你的办公室就在这边。让我带你四处看看”，那个闻起来像omega的中年男人，像熟人一样拍了拍我的肩膀。

For the sake of formality and trying not to breach the distance between me and my mate lest I scare her away and I begin the whole ‘hide and seek’ thing once again, I play along,”Lead the way.”
为了正式起见，尽量不要打破我和我伴侣之间的距离，以免我把她吓跑，然后我又开始了整个“捉迷藏”的事情，我跟着玩，“带路”。

For the next half an hour, I’m shown at least ten departments in Bracken Holdings and in every department I’m forced to act cordial by pretending that every handshake I initiate with my employees doesn’t make me pissed off. Only thing I’m interested in this building is the woman with five inch red-bottom heels, a window-pane blue blouse and a skirt that completes the whole thing by hugging her hips. Unfortunately for me, I don't see Winter again.
在接下来的半个小时里，我至少参观了 Bracken Holdings 的十个部门，在每个部门，我都被迫表现得很亲切，假装我与员工的每一次握手都不会让我生气。我对这座建筑唯一感兴趣的是那个穿着五英寸红底高跟鞋、玻璃蓝色衬衫和裙子的女人，她通过拥抱臀部完成了整个事情。不幸的是，我再也看不到冬天了。

Knowing her, she probably ran. But she’s the same woman who’s worked in this company and in the same city for seven years. That tells me she won’t run. She likes this city. She likes this company. Reason number why I bought it for her.
了解她，她可能参选了。但她就是在这家公司和同一个城市工作了七年的同一个女人。这告诉我她不会参选。她喜欢这个城市。她喜欢这家公司。我为她买下它的原因。

I get to the office after what feels like ages and the first thing I do is stand by the transparent glass walls admiring the view of Bracken City on a hot Tuesday noon. Skyscrapers taller than the building I’m standing in reflect the orange cadence of the sun back to my office, the smell from below right where cars honk at each other, clogs my nostrils and in all that white noise, the only thing I focus on is Winter's scent. On the look that was on Winter’s face. On the column of Winter’s throat as that pulse near her neck throbbed when she saw me. Everything on my mate.
我回到办公室，感觉像是过了很久，我做的第一件事就是站在透明的玻璃墙旁，欣赏着炎热的周二中午布雷肯城的景色。比我所站的建筑物还高的摩天大楼反映了太阳回到我办公室的橙色节奏，从下面传来的气味，汽车互相鸣笛，堵塞了我的鼻孔，在所有的白噪音中，我唯一关注的是 Winter 的气味。在 Winter 脸上的表情。在 Winter 的喉咙柱上，当她看到我时，她脖子附近的脉搏跳动着。一切都在我的伴侣身上。

“We are grateful for everything, boss. Sir Wilfred never showed up at the office or checked in on things but we are hoping things will be different with you.”
“我们很感激，老板。威尔弗雷德爵士从未出现在办公室或检查事情，但我们希望您的情况会有所不同。

Wilfred had a gambling problem and I used that little information to my advantage. Getting Wilfred to sell his company for twelve million dollars was like stealing candy from a baby. It didn’t take the old man less than two minutes to sign the papers and hand me his company and I couldn’t be any more grateful since due to Wilfred’s gambling, I’m back in Winter’s life and I'm more than tired of the hide and seek game we’ve been revolving around for seven years.
威尔弗雷德有赌博问题，我利用了这个小信息。让威尔弗雷德以一千二百万美元的价格卖掉他的公司，就像从婴儿那里偷糖果一样。老人花了不到两分钟就签署了文件，把他的公司交给了我，我再感激不过了，因为威尔弗雷德的赌博，我又回到了冬天的生活，我已经厌倦了我们围绕着七年的捉迷藏游戏。
威尔弗雷德有赌博问题，我利用了这个小信息。让威尔弗雷德以一千二百万美元的价格卖掉他的公司，就像从婴儿那里偷糖果一样。老人花了不到两分钟就签署了文件，把他的公司交给了我，我再感激不过了，因为威尔弗雷德的赌博，我又回到了冬天的生活，我已经厌倦了我们围绕着七年的捉迷藏游戏。

It’s time I finally see my mate. .
现在是我终于见到我的伴侣的时候了。......

“Cyrus?” I can hardly remember his name. It's ironic since he’s been speaking to me for close to an hour.
“塞勒斯？”我几乎记不住他的名字了。这很讽刺，因为他已经和我说话了将近一个小时。

“Simon, boss. My name is Simon”, he corrects nervously.
“西蒙，老板。我叫西蒙”，他紧张地纠正道。

My gaze still outside, my wolf badgering inside me to see Winter again, I give Simon a command.“Get me Winter Cavanaugh.”
我的目光仍然在外面，我的狼在我心里狠狠地盯着，想再次看到冬天，我给西蒙一个命令。给我找温特·卡瓦诺。

“Sir?”
“先生？”

“The woman with the emerald green eyes, mocha brown hair, blue blouse, dark skirt, dark heels, I want her inside my office in the next five minutes.”
“那个有着翠绿色眼睛、摩卡棕色头发、蓝色衬衫、深色裙子、深色高跟鞋的女人，我希望她在接下来的五分钟内进入我的办公室。”

I’d add the woman who looked at me like she wanted my neck in a noose but that’s sufficient information to get Winter inside my office.
我会加上那个看着我的女人，她好像想把我的脖子套上套索，但这足以让 Winter 进入我的办公室。
我会加上那个看着我的女人，她好像想把我的脖子套上套索，但这足以让 Winter 进入我的办公室。

“Of course, Sir. Right away, Sir.”
“当然，先生。马上，先生。

I settle in my chair and wait.
我坐在椅子上等待。

My mate takes close to twenty minutes to show up to my office, the action amusing if I wasn’t dying to see her up close and in my arms.
我的朋友花了将近 20 分钟才出现在我的办公室，如果我不想近距离看到她在我怀里，这个动作很有趣。
我的朋友花了将近 20 分钟才出现在我的办公室，如果我不是很想近距离看到她在我怀里，这个动作很有趣。

The click of her feels against the linoleum floor is the first thing I hear as she saunters inside my office.
她踩在油毡地板上的咔哒声是她在我的办公室里闲逛时听到的第一件事。

The next thing I feel is her scent. Like a cocoon hugging and hogging my senses. The scent itself is enough to raise me to my feet and round my desk.
接下来我感觉到的是她的气味。就像一个茧拥抱和蚕食我的感官。气味本身就足以让我站起来，绕着我的桌子转一圈。
接下来我感觉到的是她的气味。就像一个茧拥抱和蚕食我的感官。气味本身就足以让我站起来，绕着我的桌子转一圈。

My throat constricts, my heart pummeling against my chest and that pull, that bond between us tugging at my heartstrings.
我的喉咙收缩，我的心猛烈撞击我的胸膛，那拉扯，我们之间的纽带拉扯着我的心弦。

Winter looks at me once then avoids my eyes altogether as her hand extends some sort of document in my direction.
Winter看了我一眼，然后完全避开了我的眼睛，她的手向我的方向伸出了某种文件。
Winter看了我一眼，然后完全避开了我的眼睛，她的手向我的方向伸出某种文件。

“This is my resignation letter, Mr. Cross. Please accept it.”
“这是我的辞职信，克洛斯先生。请收下它。

Her words hit me like a cold bucket of ice water to the face. The sound of her calling me Mr.Cross like we are strangers makes a static ring in my ears.
她的话像一桶冰水打在我的脸上。她叫我 Mr.Cross 的声音就像我们是陌生人一样，在我耳边响起了静电。

I’m not accepting her fucking resignation letter.
我他妈的不接受她那封辞职信。

Neither am I letting this be the first conversation we have in seven years.
我也不会让这是我们七年来的第一次对话。

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

I haven’t called her name out loud in years and she must feel it because she gives me her eyes. Eyes that are filled with so much disdain it’s enough to maim me where I stand.
我已经很多年没有大声喊出她的名字了，她一定感觉到了，因为她给了我她的眼睛。那双眼睛里充满了轻蔑，足以让我在我所站的地方致残。

“I’m resigning so accept my resignation letter or don’t accept it but i’ll no longer be working for Bracken Holdings as of-”
“我要辞职了，所以接受我的辞职信，或者不接受它，但我不会再为 Bracken Holdings 工作了——”

I could blame my actions on the mate bond that rages like a spitfire inside my blood.
我可以把我的行为归咎于伴侣纽带，它在我的血液中像喷火一样肆虐。
我可以把我的行为归咎于伴侣纽带，它在我的血液中像喷火一样肆虐。

I could blame it on my wolf who’s been growling the word ‘mate’ since we saw her again.
我可以把这归咎于我的狼，自从我们再次看到她以来，它就一直在咆哮着'伴侣'这个词。
我可以把这归咎于我的狼，自从我们再次看到她以来，它就一直在咆哮着'伴侣'这个词。

But grabbing her waist and pulling her body to my chest is all on me. I’m not ashamed either when I lock my lips with hers, having a taste of what I've desired and not had for seven years.
但是抓住她的腰，把她的身体拉到我的胸前，全靠我。当我用她的嘴唇锁住我的嘴唇时，我也不感到羞耻，尝到了我渴望而七年没有拥有的东西。
但是抓住她的腰，把她的身体拉到我的胸前，全靠我。当我用她的嘴唇锁住我的嘴唇时，我也不感到羞耻，尝到了我渴望而七年没有拥有的东西。

Our lips clash like blades from opposing teams, her taste injects in my system trimming all the years of torment to sweet bliss, her body melts in my arms and I’m taken back to when I had her before I broke her so bad she had to run to another city to escape me.
我们的嘴唇像对方球队的刀片一样碰撞，她的味道注入我的系统，将多年的折磨修剪成甜蜜的幸福，她的身体在我的怀里融化，我被带回了我拥有她的时候，我把她弄坏了，她不得不跑到另一个城市来逃避我。
我们的嘴唇像对方球队的刀片一样碰撞，她的味道注入我的系统，将多年的折磨修剪成甜蜜的幸福，她的身体在我的怀里融化，我被带回了我拥有她的时候，我把她弄坏了，她不得不跑到另一个城市来逃避我。

Kiss. My hands dig into her waist.
亲吻。我的手深深地探入她的腰部。

“I’m here, baby.”
“我在这里，宝贝。”

Kiss. I trace the line on her back, the one hidden by the blouse I want to rip from her body.
吻。我描摹着她背上的线，那条被我想从她身上扯下来的衬衫遮住的那条。

“I’m back for you.”
“我回来找你了。”

Kiss. I suck her bottom lip, living off her taste like I need it for survival.
吻。我吮吸她的下唇，以她的味道为生，就像我需要它来生存一样。

“I’ll never leave you.”
“我永远不会离开你。”

I’m about to lean in for another kiss when the feel of her hand crushing down on my cheek echoes. Understanding she just slapped me takes a second to sink in.
我正要俯身再亲一下，这时她的手压在我脸颊上的感觉回荡着。明白她刚刚打了我一巴掌，花了一秒钟才沉浸其中。
我正要俯身再亲一下，这时她的手压在我脸颊上的感觉回荡着。明白她刚刚打了我一巴掌，花了一秒钟才沉浸其中。

“You bastard!”
“你这个混蛋！”

She wipes her lips with the palm of her hand. An action that arouses anger from me.
她用手掌擦了擦嘴唇。一个激起我愤怒的举动。

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

Taking one step forward towards her, makes her take one step back.
向她向前迈出一步，她就会后退一步。

My lungs are on fire, my lips watering and throbbing for more. I learn the hard way that the kiss means nothing to Winter, the minute her green eyes impale me with her hatred.
我的肺在燃烧，我的嘴唇流泪和悸动，希望能更多。我痛苦地了解到，这个吻对冬天来说毫无意义，就在她绿色的眼睛用她的仇恨刺穿我的那一刻。
我的肺在燃烧，我的嘴唇流泪和悸动，希望能更多。我痛苦地了解到，这个吻对冬天来说毫无意义，就在她绿色的眼睛用她的仇恨刺穿我的那一刻。

“I hope the kiss was enough for you to consider my resignation, Mr. Cross. If we are done here then I’ll take my leave hoping that we don’t ever run into each other again.”
“我希望这个吻足以让你考虑我的辞职，克洛斯先生。如果我们在这里结束了，那我就告别了，希望我们不要再碰到对方了。

Her pretending that I was the only one who enjoyed the kiss bruises my ego much more than I would have anticipated. Her indifference and that dead cold gaze of hers leaves a bad taste in my mouth but I endure it. I’ll endure everything till she forgives me.
她假装我是唯一一个享受这个吻的人，这比我预期的要严重得多。她的冷漠和她那死气沉沉的冰冷目光在我嘴里留下了难闻的味道，但我忍受了。我会忍受一切，直到她原谅我。
她假装我是唯一一个享受这个吻的人，这比我预期的要严重得多。她的冷漠和她那死气沉沉的冰冷目光在我嘴里留下了难闻的味道，但我忍受了。我会忍受一切，直到她原谅我。

Winter turns around to leave but she’s sorely mistaken if she thinks I'll let her walk away from me again.
Winter 转身离开，但她是否认为我会让她再次离开我，那她就大错特错了。

“Be my personal assistant and I'll triple your salary. I’ll give you forty eight hours to think about my offer and for that reason, I’m not accepting your resignation letter, Ms. Cavanaugh. Not until I have your answer.”
“做我的私人助理，我会给你三倍的薪水。我会给你四十八小时来考虑我的提议，因此，我不接受你的辞职信，卡瓦诺女士。在我得到你的答复之前。

CHAPTER SEVEN
第七章

WINTER
冬

Keep walking.
继续走。

Keep walking.
继续走。

Everything’s okay.
一切都很好。

The five inch-heels adorning my feet are one step away from breaking and shoving me to the floor but I hold my head high and I’ll be damned If I let a single kiss and a man who has no right being back in my life, weigh me down.
我脚上的五英寸高跟鞋离打破并把我推到地板上只有一步之遥，但我昂首挺胸，如果我让一个吻和一个没有权利的男人回到我的生活，我就会被诅咒。

Bitter memories from the past rattle my chest in discomfort, angry tears sting my eyes as I make my way outside the new boss’ office or should I say my ex’s office or better yet, maybe I should add the word baby daddy in it too.
过去的痛苦回忆不安地在我的胸口嘎嘎作响，当我走出新老板的办公室时，愤怒的泪水刺痛了我的眼睛，或者我应该说是我前任的办公室，或者更好的是，也许我也应该在里面加上宝贝爸爸这个词。

I’m going crazy, I can feel it in my bones, I can feel it in the way my wolf growls inside me with a temper.
我快要疯了，我能从我的骨子里感觉到它，我能从我的狼在我体内脾气暴躁地咆哮的方式中感受到它。

Several questions rack my brain and they are all directed at the Goddess.
有几个问题让我绞尽脑汁，它们都是针对女神的。

Why now? Why would the Goddess bring him into my life when I’m happy, stronger and better off than when I was back in Moonstone City believing in naive things like fated mates and unbreakable mate bonds?
为什么是现在？为什么当我快乐、更强大、比回到月光石城时更快乐、更强大、更好时，女神会把他带入我的生活，我相信命中注定的伴侣和牢不可破的伴侣纽带等天真事物？
为什么是现在？为什么当我快乐、更强大、比回到月光石城时更快乐、更强大、更好时，女神会把他带入我的生活，我相信命中注定的伴侣和牢不可破的伴侣纽带等天真事物？

Getting into the elevator offers me some sort of relief that I’ve put enough distance between me and Deacon. Uttering his name in my mind when I haven’t done so for seven years, leaves a subtle burn in my chest.
进入电梯让我感到某种解脱，因为我已经在我和 Deacon 之间保持了足够的距离。当我七年没有这样做时，在我的脑海中说出他的名字，在我的胸口留下了微妙的灼伤。
进入电梯让我感到某种解脱，因为我已经在我和 Deacon 之间保持了足够的距离。当我七年没有这样做时，在我的脑海中说出他的名字，在我的胸口留下了微妙的灼伤。

Getting out of the elevator however, makes the relief bubbling in my chest frizzle out. The minute I step out, several pairs of eyes land on me, all of them questioning why I was the first employee to be called to the boss’ office. All of them trying to connect the dots of whether me and the boss know each other.
然而，走出电梯后，我胸口冒泡的解脱感变得毛躁不安。我走出去的那一刻，好几双眼睛都盯着我，他们都在质问为什么我是第一个被叫到老板办公室的员工。他们都试图把我和老板是否认识的点点滴滴联系起来。

I hardly make it to my work station where Luka and Julie must be waiting for another scoop of gossip when Ashley and her minions block my path.
我几乎没到我的工作站，Luka 和 Julie 一定在等待另一条八卦，这时 Ashley 和她的爪牙挡住了我的去路。
我几乎没到我的工作站，Luka 和 Julie 一定在等待另一条八卦，这时 Ashley 和她的爪牙挡住了我的去路。

She flicks her blonde hair from her face, her eyes scrutinizing me from head to toe.
她甩了甩脸上的金发，眼睛从头到脚打量着我。

I dyed my blonde hair brown when I came to Bracken City and seeing Ashley’s hair reminds me that I’m better off as a brunette than a blonde.
当我来到布雷肯城时，我把我的金发染成了棕色，看到阿什利的头发让我想起了我作为一个黑发女郎比作为一个金发女郎更好。

“I get that you are making hay while the sun shines but fraternizing with the boss when he has hardly settled in, is not a good look, Cavanaugh.”
“我知道你在阳光明媚的时候干草，但是在老板还没安顿下来的时候和他交朋友，可不是什么好看的样子，卡瓦诺。”

Her minions laugh beside her. Classic bullying maneuver.
她的爪牙在她旁边大笑。经典的欺凌动作。

I shouldn’t engage her. Ashley is known as the meddling bitch in the company for a reason.
我不应该和她打交道。Ashley 在公司里被称为爱管闲事的婊子是有原因的。
我不应该和她打交道。Ashley 在公司里被称为爱管闲事的婊子是有原因的。

But the surprise from seeing Deacon, the rage and shock coalescing in my blood like acquaintances, the kiss… Goddess, that kiss that shouldn’t have happened stirs up something ugly inside me.
但是看到迪肯的惊喜，像熟人一样在我的血液中凝聚的愤怒和震惊，那个吻......女神，那个不该发生的吻激起了我内心的某种丑陋。

“Some of us have better things to do than ogle the new boss, Ashley. If you are scared I'll seduce the boss before you get the chance to do so, don’t worry, he’s all yours”, I end my words with a forced smile moving around Ashley and her friends.
“我们中的一些人有更好的事情要做，而不是盯着新老板，Ashley。如果你害怕 ，我会在你有机会之前勾引老板，别担心，他都是你的”，我以一个强迫的微笑结束了我的话，在 Ashley 和她的朋友们周围移动。

Murmurs, gasps and a few chuckles beckon me from behind but I don’t turn to stare at the surprise written in Ashley’s face, there are other pressing things on my mind than putting a co-worker in her place.
低语、喘息和几声轻笑从后面向我招手，但我没有转身盯着写在 Ashley 脸上的惊讶，除了让同事代替她之外，我还有其他紧迫的事情在心里。

As expected, Luka and Julie are waiting for me near my desk. Luka is seated on my desk with a curious brow on his face while Julie sits in my swivel chair pretending to go through my notebook.
不出所料，Luka 和 Julie 正在我的办公桌附近等我。Luka 坐在我的办公桌上，脸上带着好奇的眉头，而 Julie 则坐在我的转椅上，假装翻阅我的笔记本。
不出所料，Luka 和 Julie 正在我的办公桌附近等我。Luka 坐在我的办公桌上，脸上带着好奇的眉头，而 Julie 坐在我的转椅上，假装翻阅我的笔记本。

“Finally, someone put Ashley in her place and I’m glad it’s you, girl but… I’m just curious as everyone here. The boss called you specifically, is there any reason why he did so?” Luka asks.
“终于，有人让 Ashley 代替了她，我很高兴是你，女孩，但是......我只是和这里的每个人都很好奇。老板专门打电话给你，他这样做有什么原因吗？Luka 问道。
“终于，有人让 Ashley 代替了她，我很高兴是你，女孩，但是......我只是和这里的每个人都很好奇。老板专门打电话给你，他这样做有什么原因吗？Luka 问道。

I’m dying to get out of here.
我很想离开这里。

The walls I’ve built for seven years threaten to crumble and I have to ensure they don’t.
我建造了七年的墙壁有倒塌的危险，我必须确保它们不会倒塌。
我建造了七年的墙壁有倒塌的危险，我必须确保它们不会倒塌。

“Not that we are trying to meddle but everyone’s worried whether they’ll be keeping their jobs or not”, Julie adds, her brown eyes prying me for answers.
“不是我们试图插手，而是每个人都担心他们是否能保住自己的工作”，朱莉补充道，她棕色的眼睛窥探着我寻求答案。

I open my mouth, desperate to tell them that their new boss is worse than they ever imagined.
我张开嘴，不顾一切地告诉他们，他们的新老板比他们想象的还要糟糕。

If he’s anything like I remember, then he’ll betray them like he betrayed me. He’ll stab them in the back until they are nothing but shells barely hanging on to life.
如果他和我记得的一样，那么他会像背叛我一样背叛他们。他会在他们背后捅刀子，直到他们只剩下勉强维持生命的壳。
如果他和我记得的一样，那么他会像背叛我一样背叛他们。他会在他们背后捅刀子，直到他们只剩下勉强维持生命的壳。

But instead all I have to say is, “I have to go.”
但我只能说，“我必须走。

“What?” Julie enquires in surprise.
“什么？”朱莉惊讶地问道。

“I have to go. I don't feel well. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?”
“我得走了。我感觉不舒服。明天见，对吧？

I don’t think I’ll ever step foot in this company ever again.
我认为我永远不会再踏入这家公司。

The guilt that lodges in my chest for keeping the truth from the friends who’ve stuck by me since I started working here follows me down the hallway, down the lift, all the way to the parking lot and inside my car.
自从我开始在这里工作以来，我一直对那些一直陪伴在我身边的朋友隐瞒真相而感到内疚，这种内疚一直伴随着我沿着走廊，沿着电梯，一直到停车场，再到我的车里。
自从我开始在这里工作以来，我一直对那些一直陪伴在我身边的朋友隐瞒真相而感到内疚，这种内疚一直伴随着我沿着走廊，沿着电梯，一直到停车场，再到我的车里。

Once I get inside my car, sheer panic and a pinch of pain radiates in my chest bringing it with the dam of tears I couldn’t let Deacon Cross see.
当我进车后，纯粹的恐慌和一丝痛苦在我的胸口散发出来，带来了我无法让 Deacon Cross 看到的泪水坝。
当我进车后，纯粹的恐慌和一丝痛苦在我的胸口散发出来，带着我无法让 Deacon Cross 看到的泪水坝。

I don’t just let my tears fall. I set them free. All of them.
我不只是让我的眼泪落下。我让他们自由。他们所有人。

‘We’ll leave and start over where he can’t find us this time around.’
“我们这次离开，在他找不到我们的地方重新开始。”

.

My wolf whispers what I want to hear but I can also hear the little hesitation in her voice, like she doesn’t want to leave, like she believes our fates with Deacon are tied together even after everything he did to us. Her pain and sadness coupled with the bitterness we felt seven years ago draws out the memories of Deacon we’ve tried to bury.
我的狼低声说着我想听的话，但我也能听到她声音中的微微犹豫，就像她不想离开，就像她相信我们与 Deacon 的命运是紧密相连的，即使在他对我们所做的一切之后。她的痛苦和悲伤，加上我们七年前的痛苦，勾勒出我们试图埋葬的 Deacon 的回忆。
我的狼低声说着我想听的话，但我也能听到她声音中的微微犹豫，就像她不想离开，就像她相信我们与 Deacon 的命运是紧密相连的，即使在他对我们所做的一切之后。她的痛苦和悲伤，加上我们七年前的痛苦，勾勒出我们试图埋葬的 Deacon 的回忆。

I try to forget those memories, Goddess do I try but my wolf is hellbent on trying to prove that Deacon was good to us once upon a time. Fighting her proves difficult so I let her bring out the most precious memory we had with Deacon and I’m pulled back to that special night in the woods.
我试图忘记那些回忆，女神，我尝试了，但我的狼一心想证明 Deacon 曾经对我们很好。事实证明，与她战斗很困难，所以我让她带出我们与 Deacon 最珍贵的回忆，我被拉回到了树林里那个特别的夜晚。

When Deacon kissed me like he believed we would never be apart, that we were bound for eternity.
当狄肯亲吻我时，就像他相信我们永远不会分开一样，我们注定要永远分开。

When he held me in his arms, slamming inside me passionately like I was fragile glass he needed to protect from breaking.
当他把我抱在怀里，热情地猛烈地撞击我时，就像我是脆弱的玻璃一样，他需要保护我不被打破。

When his teeth left sweet bruises on my skin and I shamelessly asked for more.
当他的牙齿在我的皮肤上留下甜甜的瘀伤时，我无耻地要求更多。

When the feeling of loving him compared to soaring in the skies and never wanting to touch the ground.
当爱他的感觉与翱翔在天空中，永远不想触及地面相比时。
当爱他的感觉与翱翔在天空中，永远不想触及地面相比时。

And I can also remember the monumental moment when he rejected me and my babies in front of the pack and in front of his father. Just like that, like I was nothing to him.
我还记得他在狼群和他父亲面前拒绝我和我的孩子的重要时刻。就这样，就像我对他来说什么都不是。
我还记得他在狼群和他父亲面前拒绝我和我的孩子的重要时刻。就这样，就像我对他来说什么都不是。

He came back for me? Well he’s seven years too late!
他回来找我了？嗯，他晚了七年了！

He’ll never leave me? I'll do the leaving.
他永远不会离开我？我会离开的。

Amidst the chaos swirling in my entire body, my trembling fingers reach the lips that are still throbbing from the kiss Deacon gave me in his office.
在我全身的混乱中，我颤抖的手指碰到了仍然因 Deacon 在他的办公室里给我的吻而跳动的嘴唇。
在我全身的混乱中，我颤抖的手指碰到了仍然因 Deacon 在他的办公室里给我的吻而跳动的嘴唇。

I slapped him but that doesn’t erase the fact that he kissed me enough to bruise or the fact that the taste of his kiss, the touch of his lips, and the dominance in the way his hands held me in place were more intoxicating than any drink I’ve ever had. If he wasn’t holding me up in that office, I would have fallen over. My knees would have given in for him. Curse him!
我打了他一巴掌，但这并不能抹去他亲吻我到淤青的事实，也不能抹去他吻的味道、他嘴唇的触感以及他用手固定我的主导方式比我喝过的任何饮料都更令人陶醉。如果他没有在那个办公室里扶着我，我早就摔倒了。我的膝盖会为他屈服。诅咒他！

I don’t know how long I stay in that parking lot, debating whether I’m okay enough to drive home. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours and the only thing that breaks me from the spell is the sharp ringing of my phone somewhere in my purse.
我不知道我在那个停车场呆了多久，争论我是否还好可以开车回家。几秒钟变成了几分钟，几分钟变成了几个小时，唯一让我摆脱魔咒的是我钱包某处手机的尖锐铃声。
我不知道我在那个停车场呆了多久，争论我是否还好可以开车回家。几秒钟变成了几分钟，几分钟变成了几个小时，唯一让我摆脱魔咒的是我钱包某处手机的尖锐铃声。

Picking my phone and seeing Isabel’s name has me wiping my tears quickly.
拿起手机，看到 Isabel 的名字，我很快就擦干了眼泪。

“Winter?”
“冬天？”

Isabel’s voice comes from the other end of the line.
伊莎贝尔的声音从电话的另一端传来。

The sound of my kids laughing in the background somehow injects strength in my system.
我的孩子们在背景中笑声以某种方式为我的系统注入了力量。
我的孩子们在背景中笑声以某种方式为我的系统注入了力量。

“Hey, Isabel. How was today?”
“嘿，伊莎贝尔。今天怎么样？

“Apart from Asher asking about you while I drove us home, everything has been okay. Sorry to disturb you at work like this but the kids kinda want to know if you are coming home to make dinner tonight? Adrian and Asher made new friends today and they can’t wait to tell you all about it.”
“除了 Asher 在我开车送我们回家时问了你的事情，一切都很好。很抱歉在工作中打扰你，但孩子们有点想知道你今晚要回家吃晚饭吗？Adrian 和 Asher 今天结交了新朋友，他们迫不及待地想告诉你这一切。

I smile knowing how my boys will be when I get home.
我知道我回家后我的孩子们会是什么样子，我笑了。

“I can imagine their excitement. I’ll be home in thirty. Can you handle their chaos by then?” I joke.
“我能想象到他们的兴奋。我会三十后回家。到那时你能应付他们的混乱吗？”我开玩笑说。
“我能想象到他们的兴奋。我会三十后回家。到那时你能应付他们的混乱吗？”我开玩笑说。

Isabel laughs,”I’ve handled their chaos since they were babies. I'll tell them the good news. And Winter?”
伊莎贝尔笑着说，“我从他们还是婴儿的时候就开始处理他们的混乱。我会告诉他们这个好消息。冬天呢？

“Yes?”
“是吗？”

“Did something happen at work today? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“今天上班出了什么事吗？你听起来不像你自己。

“I’m okay. See you in thirty.”
“我没事。三十岁后见。

I’m far from okay.
我远非正常。

xxx

Isabel left fifteen minutes ago.
伊莎贝尔十五分钟前离开了。

I chop down the carrots, prepared for Adrian when he comes tugging at my skirt so I can look at him while he speaks.
我把胡萝卜切碎，当Adrian来扯我的裙子时，他准备了胡萝卜，这样我就可以在他说话的时候看着他。
我把胡萝卜切碎，当Adrian来扯我的裙子时，他准备了胡萝卜，这样我就可以在他说话的时候看着他。

“And Devon and Abby said we can play with them at their house. They said they have a pool, mommy!” Adrian claps, I hold back a chuckle.
“Devon 和 Abby 说我们可以在他们家和他们一起玩。他们说他们有个游泳池，妈妈！Adrian 鼓掌，我忍住笑声。

“Is that right?” I ask incredulously.
“是这样吗？”我难以置信地问。

Asher comes to stand behind his brother with the same smile.
Asher 带着同样的微笑站在他的兄弟身后。

“They said they know how to swim, mommy. Their daddy taught them, isn’t that cool?”
“他们说他们会游泳，妈妈。他们爸爸教他们，这不是很酷吗？

Pinpricks spear my heart at the mention of ‘daddy’ knowing that my sons’ daddy is in the same city we are and sooner or later, my boys will meet him and I can’t let that happen.
一提到“爸爸”，我的心就被刺痛了，因为我知道我儿子的爸爸在我们所在的城市，我的儿子们迟早会遇到他，我不能让这种情况发生。

“So cool, baby.”
“太酷了，宝贝。”

How do I tell my babies we might leave this city in the next week?
我如何告诉我的宝宝我们可能会在下周离开这个城市？

I can’t risk my babies getting rejected like I did.
我不能像我一样冒着我的孩子被拒绝的风险。
我不能像我一样冒着我的孩子被拒绝的风险。

“And… and Abby said their daddy can teach me and Asher to swim!”
“而且......Abby 说他们爸爸可以教我和 Asher 游泳！

“Adrian”, I ruffle his hair.
“阿德里安”，我捋了捋他的头发。

I’m not about to let some stranger teach my kids how to swim.
我不会让某个陌生人教我的孩子如何游泳。

“Don’t worry, mommy. Daddy won’t get jealous. He’ll watch over me and Asher from heaven.”
“别担心，妈妈。爸爸不会嫉妒的。他会在天堂看顾我和 Asher。

Goddess, bless his little heart.
女神，保佑他的小心脏。
女神，保佑他的小心脏。

Telling my babies their daddy was in heaven was the right call. I never thought I would see Deacon ever again or our lives would intertwine like this. Nor did I think I'd sacrifice the life I’d built for me and my family for Deacon. Again.
告诉我的孩子们他们的爸爸在天堂是正确的选择。我从没想过我会再见到 Deacon，或者我们的生活会像这样交织在一起。我也没有想过我会牺牲我为我自己和我的家人为 Deacon 建立的生活。 再。

Putting the knife down, I kneel on my kitchen floor to face my babies.
放下刀子，我跪在厨房的地板上面对我的孩子们。

“Abby and Devon, do you like them as your friends?”
“艾比和德文，你喜欢他们当朋友吗？”

“Yes! They are cool. Can they come to play with us tomorrow after school?”
“是的！他们很酷。他们明天放学后可以来和我们一起玩吗？

I can’t do this to my children. I can’t flee the city. I just can’t start over.
我不能这样对待我的孩子。我不能逃离这座城市。我就是不能重新开始。

I don’t have enough money, no plan and moving would mean me searching for a new house and a new job.
我没有足够的钱，没有计划，搬家意味着我要找新房子和新工作。
我没有足够的钱，没有计划，搬家意味着我要找新房子和新工作。

‘Instead of leaving, we can stay, Winter. Maybe we can listen to what he has to say.’
“与其走，不如留下来，温特。也许我们可以听听他怎么说。

My wolf advises
我的狼建议.

I’ll stay not because my wolf sounds like she wants us to give Deacon a chance but because the triple salary Deacon offered me would change my life and my boys’ lives.
我留下来不是因为我的狼听起来像是想让我们给 Deacon 一个机会，而是因为 Deacon 给我的三倍薪水会改变我和我儿子们的生活。

I’ll play along, I’ll take his offer and I’ll reject him every single step of the way till he takes the hint and goes back to wherever he came from.
我会配合，我会接受他的提议，我会拒绝他的每一步，直到他接受暗示并回到他来的地方。
我会配合，我会接受他的提议，我会拒绝他的每一步，直到他接受暗示并回到他来的地方。

I’ll never let Deacon find out about my sons.
我绝不会让 Deacon 发现我儿子们的事情。

And this time around, I’m not falling for his words like a naive eighteen year old with a childish crush on him.
这一次，我不会像一个天真的 18 岁少年那样被他的话所迷惑。

CHAPTER EIGHT
第八章

DEACON
执事

Glancing outside the panoramic window of my penthouse to the city that stretches for miles and miles brings some sort of peace to my body.
从我顶层公寓的全景窗户向外瞥一眼绵延数英里的城市，我的身体得到了某种平静。

While Bracken City offers what most people search for outside the confines of their packs, this metropolis is nowhere close to home. Nowhere close to how it feels like being an Alpha and being in control.
虽然 Bracken City 提供了大多数人在背包范围之外寻找的东西，但这个大都市离家很远。远非成为 Alpha 并处于控制之中的感觉。

Moonstone was my turf but Bracken? This city is Winter’s turf and she didn’t hesitate to show me how.
月光石是我的地盘，但布雷肯？这座城市是 Winter 的地盘，她毫不犹豫地向我展示如何做。

She put me in my place. As she should have.
她把我放在我的位置上。她应该这样做。

Did the slap sting? It sure as fuck did. I can still feel it a few hours later. Can still feel those pretty fingers of hers and that immaculately soft palm of hers connect with my cheek in rage.
那一巴掌刺痛了吗？确实，就像他妈的一样。几个小时后我仍然能感觉到它。仍然能感觉到她那双漂亮的手指和她那完美无瑕的柔软手掌在愤怒中与我的脸颊相连。
那一巴掌刺痛了吗？确实，就像他妈的一样。几个小时后我仍然能感觉到它。仍然能感觉到她那双漂亮的手指和她那完美无瑕的柔软手掌在愤怒中与我的脸颊相连。

The man inside of me who is head over heels in love with her, smiles. She might have tried to wipe away my kiss from her lips but at least she slapped me. That meant I got under her skin, that meant she feels something for me even if that something revolves around the word ‘hate’. I’ll take that instead of her ignoring I’m in her life again.
我内心那个一头扎进去爱她的男人，微笑着。她可能试图把我的吻从她的嘴唇上抹去，但至少她打了我一巴掌。这意味着我深入了她的皮肤，这意味着她对我有感觉，即使那件事围绕着“恨”这个词。我会接受这一点，而不是她忽视我再次出现在她的生活中。
我内心那个一头扎进去爱她的男人，微笑着。她可能试图把我的吻从她的嘴唇上抹去，但至少她打了我一巴掌。这意味着我深入了她的皮肤，这意味着她对我有感觉，即使那件事围绕着“恨”这个词。我会接受这一点，而不是她忽视我再次出现在她的生活中。

The man who kissed her and watched her dismiss it as nothing, feels a little slice of pain cutting his chest.
那个亲吻她，看着她把这当作什么都没有的男人，感到胸口有一丝痛苦。

Taking my eyes off the city lights, I swirl the drink in my glass watching the ice cubes clink against each other. My other hand, which has an Ipad resting on it, presses play on the video I got from the company’s surveillance footage.
我把目光从城市的灯光上移开，旋转着杯子里的饮料，看着冰块相互碰撞。我的另一只手上放着一台 Ipad，按下播放我从公司监控录像中获得的视频。

Like a stalker, I watch the cameras show me every move my mate made when she stepped out of my office.
我像个跟踪狂一样，看着摄像机向我展示我的朋友走出我的办公室时所做的一举一动。

I watch as she steps out of my office with a calm and collected demeanor and that has the alcohol burning my throat fiercely.
我看着她以冷静和沉着的举止走出我的办公室，这让酒精猛烈地灼伤了我的喉咙。
我看着她以冷静和沉着的举止走出我的办公室，这让酒精猛烈地灼伤了我的喉咙。

The kiss didn’t affect you, baby but I’ve been thinking about it every second since you left my office.
那个吻没有影响你，宝贝，但自从你离开我的办公室后，我每一秒都在想这件事。

I continue watching the footage, from her getting inside the lift to her getting out of it only to wind up being ambushed by her co-workers. Winter handles the three women like a pro and I’m almost proud of her were it not for the fact she used the ‘he’s all yours’ line to get them to back off.
我继续观看录像，从她进入电梯到她从电梯里出来，结果却被她的同事伏击。Winter 像专业人士一样对待这三个女人，如果不是她用“他都是你的”这句话让她们退缩，我几乎为她感到自豪。
我继续观看录像，从她进入电梯到她从电梯里出来，结果却被她的同事伏击。Winter 像专业人士一样对待这三个女人，如果不是她用“他都是你的”这句话让她们退缩，我几乎为她感到自豪。

I’m not just anyone’s. I’m hers.
我不是随便谁的。我是她的。

She’ll understand that soon enough.
她很快就会明白的。

The footage continues to show Winter as she gets in her car, slams the door and sits in the driver’s seat for hours. I can’t make out her face pretty clearly but the minute she lays her head against the steering wheel seemingly falling asleep, I watch her through the screen wishing we weren’t separated like this. Wishing I would be there to give her a shoulder to sleep on and assure her we will never be separated again.
镜头继续显示 Winter 上车，关上车门，在驾驶座上坐了几个小时。我无法清楚地看清她的脸，但当她把头靠在方向盘上似乎睡着了的那一刻，我透过屏幕看着她，希望我们没有像这样分开。希望我能在那里给她一个可以睡觉的肩膀，并向她保证我们永远不会再分开。
镜头继续显示 Winter 上车，关上车门，在驾驶座上坐了几个小时。我无法清楚地看清她的脸，但当她把头靠在方向盘上似乎睡着了的那一刻，我透过屏幕看着她，希望我们没有像这样分开。希望我能在那里给她一个可以睡觉的肩膀，并向她保证我们永远不会再分开。

I can almost see her lips in my head, moving as her chest puffs and huffs while she snores. I can see her luscious lips, looking delectable against the lighting in the dingy parking lot. I can see and feel so much and yet I’m far away from her than I’d like and that only fuels the urge to be with her again. I have to get her back or I’ll lose my mind.
我几乎能在我的脑海中看到她的嘴唇，随着她的胸部在打鼾时起伏不定而移动。我可以看到她甜美的嘴唇，在昏暗的停车场的灯光下显得令人愉悦。我能看到和感觉到很多，但我离她远得比我想要的要远，这只会助长再次和她在一起的冲动。我必须把她找回来，否则我会失去理智。

I toss the Ipad to the nearest couch before I finish my drink. I barely make it to the mini-bar for a refill when the sound of my doorbell buzzes and cuts the silence into two. I don’t move to open the door because the person knocking knows he’s allowed to show himself in.
在喝完饮料之前，我把 Ipad 扔到最近的沙发上。我刚来得及去迷你吧续杯，门铃就响了起来，将寂静一分为二。我没有动手开门，因为敲门的人知道他可以进来。

His shaggy dark-brown hair is the first thing that comes to sight, followed by that tight-lipped smile he likes to give me when he thinks he’ll get into trouble. Martin, is the newest addition to my pack. A beta who’s come in handy more times than i can count and he’s barely twenty five years old.
他蓬松的深棕色头发是第一个映入眼帘的东西，然后是当他认为自己会惹上麻烦时喜欢对我露出的紧闭的嘴唇微笑。Martin，是我团队中的最新成员。一个派上用场的测试版，次数多得数不清，而且他才 25 岁。

“I got everything you asked for about Ms. Winter, Alpha. I thought about including her address in the file but you said-”
“我得到了你问的关于Winter女士的一切，Alpha。我考虑过把她的地址写进文件里，但你说——”
“我得到了你问的关于Winter女士的一切，Alpha。我考虑过把她的地址写进文件里，但你说——”

I cut him off, urging him to sit down, “I said I didn’t want to know her address.”
我打断了他，催促他坐下，“我说我不想知道她的地址。
我打断了他，催促他坐下，“我说我不想知道她的地址。

Sitting down and getting comfortable, Martin levels me with curiosity before he hands me the file that contains everything about Winter since she left home.
坐下来，让自己舒服些，Martin好奇地打量着我，然后把文件递给我，里面有Winter离家后关于她的一切。
坐下来，让自己舒服些，Martin好奇地打量着我，然后把文件递给我，里面有Winter离家后关于她的一切。

I open the file and the first page contains a picture of her. Pretty, smiling, older, my mate stares back at me.
我打开文件，第一页有她的照片。漂亮、微笑、年纪大了，我的伴侣回头盯着我。

“Can I ask the reason why, Alpha? You recruited me to search for her and I’ve searched for her for more than five years. Why not get her home address? Would it not be easier to show up at her home and speak to her face to face?”
“我能问一下为什么吗，Alpha？你招募我来找她，我已经找她五年多了。为什么不得到她的家庭住址呢？出现在她家里和她面对面交谈不是更容易吗？
“我能问一下为什么吗，Alpha？你招募我来找她，我已经找她五年多了。为什么不得到她的家庭住址呢？出现在她家里和她面对面交谈不是更容易吗？

I chuckle, flicking my eyes through every tidbit of information written in the file about Winter. She worked a few jobs when she came to Bracken city. She was a dishwasher, a waitress at some shitty bar in downtown Bracken before she landed the assistant job almost two years later.
我咯咯地笑了起来，目光扫视着档案中写的每一个关于温特的花絮。她来到布雷肯市时打过几份工。她是一名洗碗工，在布雷肯市中心某个破酒吧当服务员，差不多两年后她找到了助理的工作。
我咯咯地笑了起来，目光扫视着档案中写的每一个关于温特的花絮。她来到布雷肯市时打过几份工。她是一名洗碗工，在布雷肯市中心某个破酒吧当服务员，差不多两年后她找到了助理的工作。

“Did you know Winter when she lived back in Moonstone?” I ask.
“你认识住在月光石的温特吗？”我问。

“Not personally, no. I was eighteen when her family died. I heard a few rumors about her.”
“不是个人的，不是。她家人去世时我十八岁。我听说了一些关于她的传闻。

The same rumors that I couldn’t protect her from once upon a time. The same rumors about her that I have tried to eliminate since I became an Alpha.
那些我曾无法保护她的谣言。 自从我成为 Alpha 以来，我一直试图消除的关于她的同样的谣言。

“She was kind, too curious for her own good and most importantly the Winter from seven years ago, loved me more than anything. The Winter Cavanaugh in this file however, has endured shit because of me, she’s become tough because she had to and trust me when I say if I show up on her doorstep, she will punch me in the face for stalking her, quit her job forever and disappear so I can’t find her. I can’t risk that, Martin.”
“她很善良，为了自己的利益而好奇，最重要的是七年前的冬天，她爱我胜过一切。然而，这个档案中的冬季卡瓦诺因为我而忍受了痛苦，她变得坚强，因为她不得不信任我，当我说如果我出现在她家门口时，她会因为跟踪她而打我的脸，永远辞掉她的工作，然后消失，这样我就找不到她了。我不能冒这个险，马丁。
“她很善良，为了自己的利益而好奇，最重要的是七年前的冬天，她爱我胜过一切。然而，这个档案中的冬季卡瓦诺因为我而忍受了痛苦，她变得坚强，因为她不得不信任我，当我说如果我出现在她家门口时，她会因为跟踪她而打我的脸，永远辞掉她的工作，然后消失，这样我就找不到她了。我不能冒这个险，马丁。

Martin looks at me and he doesn’t hold back his words when he says,”What if she runs again, Alpha? What then?”
Martin 看着我，他毫不犹豫地说：“如果她再次逃跑怎么办，Alpha？然后呢？

There’s a possibility of Winter trying to run so she can avoid me, I know.
我知道，Winter 有可能试图逃跑，这样她就可以避开我。
我知道，Winter 有可能试图逃跑，这样她就可以避开我。

There’s also the possibility of her rejecting my offer.
她也有可能拒绝我的提议。
她也有可能拒绝我的提议。

But the Winter Cavanaugh who I kissed in that office is a fighter and more than that, she hates me, she would never give me the satisfaction of winning which is why I know Winter’s not going anywhere. I can bet my money and go ahead and say she’ll take my offer.
但是我在那个办公室里亲吻的温特·卡瓦诺是一个斗士，不仅如此，她讨厌我，她永远不会给我胜利的满足感，这就是为什么我知道温特不会去任何地方。我可以赌我的钱，然后继续说她会接受我的提议。

“She won’t run. Her pride and her hate for me, won’t let her run.”
“她不会逃跑的。她的骄傲和她对我的仇恨，不会让她逃跑。

Martin only nods at my words
马丁只是对我的话点点头

On the rare occasion my mate decides to run in the future,I’ll have to increase her tripled salary to a substantial amount that would be too attractive for her not to reject. If that fails to work too then I’ll have to resort to measures like putting a tracker on her to make sure I don’t lose her again.
在极少数情况下，我的伴侣决定将来参选，我将不得不将她的三倍薪水提高到一个相当大的数额，这对她来说太有吸引力了，无法拒绝。如果这也不起作用，那么我将不得不采取一些措施，例如在她身上安装追踪器，以确保我不会再次失去她。

I sit there for almost an hour, learning new things about my mate every single second.
我在那里坐了将近一个小时，每一秒都在学习关于我伴侣的新事物。

“That’s all I could gather from people around the office that seem to know her and from a few pictures in the system. There could be a few things I missed about her so I’ll keep looking.”
“这就是我能从办公室周围似乎认识她的人和系统中的一些照片中收集到的全部信息。我可能会错过她的一些事情，所以我会继续寻找。

I reach the end of the file, taking out every picture of Winter that was inside.
我走到文件的末尾，取出里面的每一张 Winter 照片。

Like the kid can somehow read my mind on the most important thing I want to learn about Winter, he goes ahead to add, ”She has not been dating anyone since she left Moonstone City, Alpha.”
就像那个孩子能以某种方式读懂我想了解的关于Winter的最重要的事情一样，他继续补充道，“自从她离开Alpha的Moonstone City后，她就没有和任何人约会过。

I hiss out a breath of relief. The fact that she remained single only strengthens my resolve to win her back.
我嘶嘶地松了一口气。她一直单身的事实更加坚定了我赢回她的决心。
我嘶嘶地松了一口气。她一直单身的事实更加坚定了我赢回她的决心。

“Good because if she was dating anyone, I would have to either ship him off to another city or chop his hands off for touching what’s mine.”
“很好，因为如果她和任何人约会，我要么把他送到另一个城市，要么因为碰到我的东西就砍掉他的手。”

My wolf agrees on the latter and I definitely have no qualms about it. When it comes to Winter, killing is not beneath me.
我的狼同意后者，我绝对没有顾虑。说到冬天，杀戮并不低于我。

“Of course, Alpha”, Martin fires back but apart from the tremble in his voice, the poker face on the kid has me questioning whatever he’s keeping from me. Especially if it concerns Winter.
“当然，Alpha”，Martin 回击，但除了他声音中的颤抖之外，这个孩子身上的扑克脸让我质疑他对我隐瞒的一切。特别是如果它与 Winter 有关。
“当然，Alpha”，Martin 回击，但除了他声音中的颤抖之外，这个孩子身上的扑克脸让我质疑他对我隐瞒的一切。特别是如果它与 Winter 有关。

“Anything else I need to know about Winter that you haven’t told me?”
“关于冬天，我还有什么需要知道的，你还没告诉我吗？”

I can practically smell the sweat rolling down his back, can almost hear the hesitation biting his throat and the fear that comes with opening his mouth.
我几乎可以闻到他背上滚落的汗水，几乎可以听到他咬着喉咙的犹豫和张开嘴带来的恐惧。

“I heard a rumor so I might not be too sure if it’s correct or-”
“我听到了一个谣言，所以我可能不太确定它是正确的还是——”

“What rumor?” I grit my teeth, almost feeling my molars grind in my mouth from the impatience.
“什么传闻？”我咬紧牙关，几乎感觉到我的臼齿因不耐烦而在嘴里磨蹭。

“Apparently, Alpha Kieran Vega, CEO of Vega Industries, the rival company of Bracken Holdings, has been seen flirting with Winter everytime he comes to visit the company. He likes her. This flirting thing has been going on for two years between them and from what I gathered, Winter might like him too.”
“显然，每次来参观 Winter 公司时，都会看到 Bracken Holdings 的竞争对手 Vega Industries 的首席执行官 Alpha Kieran Vega 与他调情。他喜欢她。他们之间这种调情已经持续了两年，从我收集到的信息来看，Winter 可能也喜欢他。

CHAPTER NINE
第九章

WINTER
冬

Five years I have worked for Bracken Holdings and yet in all those five years never have I dreaded coming to work than I do today.
我在 Bracken Holdings 工作了五年，但在这五年里，我从来没有像今天这样害怕来上班。

Yesterday’s stunt with Ashley raised a lot of rumors. I let some of the rumors roll off my back. People talk when they’ve got nothing to do and when you give them time, they forget about you. At least that’s what I tell myself when I walk to the office.
昨天与 Ashley 的噱头引起了很多谣言。我让一些谣言从我脑海中消失。人们在无事可做时会说话，当你给他们时间时，他们就会忘记你。至少当我走到办公室时，我是这样告诉自己的。
昨天与 Ashley 的噱头引起了很多谣言。我让一些谣言从我脑海中消失。人们在无事可做时会说话，当你给他们时间时，他们就会忘记你。至少当我走到办公室时，我是这样告诉自己的。

However, that ‘people talk and they’ll stop when they get tired’ mantra I’ve been chanting in my car on my way here, flies out the window the minute someone whispers, “ The new boss demanded that Winter be his new assistant. Guess we all know why she went to see him yesterday.”
然而，我来车里一直在吟诵的那句“人们会说话，他们累了就会停下来”的口头禅，当有人低声说：“ 新老板要求温特成为他的新助手。我想我们都知道她昨天为什么去见他。

It doesn’t fly past me at what they are hinting at. To the naked eye, the new boss wanting me as his assistant right after I paid him a visit only spells one thing; I slept with the boss. And how wrong they are if they think I’d stoop too low for a man like Deacon.
他们所暗示的并没有从我身边飞过。肉眼看来，新老板在我拜访他后立即想让我做他的助手，这只说明了一件事;我和老板睡过。如果他们认为我对像 Deacon 这样的男人来说屈膝太低了，那他们就大错特错了。

“How are you feeling today?” Julie hands me a cup of coffee as soon as I get to my desk and I almost want to hug her for the sentiment.
“你今天感觉如何？”我一走到办公桌前，朱莉就递给我一杯咖啡，我几乎想拥抱她。

“You mean how am I feeling when hideous rumors about me are flying around faster than I can stop them?” I quip dryly, sipping the goodness from inside the paper cup.
“你的意思是，当关于我的可怕谣言飞得比我能阻止它们的速度飞时，我感觉如何？”我干巴巴地打趣着，啜饮着纸杯里的美味。
“你的意思是，当关于我的可怕谣言飞得比我能阻止它们的速度飞时，我感觉如何？”我干巴巴地打趣着，啜饮着纸杯里的美味。

On a day like this, I’ll need stronger coffee. Maybe two more cups of coffee to make me numb to this nightmare of a day.
在这样的日子里，我需要更浓的咖啡。也许再喝两杯咖啡就能让我对这一天的噩梦麻木。

“Everyone is in a tizzy like I said, if you give-”
“就像我说的，每个人都很兴奋，如果你给——”

Julie’s words are cut off by Luka, who appears in a grey tailored suit with the same gelled back hairstyle he never seems to give up.
朱莉的话被卢卡打断了，他穿着一件灰色的定制西装，留着他似乎从未放弃过的凝胶后发型。

“Everyone is in more than a tizzy, Julie. Let’s be honest, our friend here has a lot of explaining to do, starting with how she keeps attracting Alphas like bees to honey. She’s caught the attention of two Alphas so far and everyone in here might pretend like that’s normal but why we both know it isn’t.”
“每个人都很烦恼，朱莉。老实说，我们这里的朋友有很多解释要做，首先是她如何像蜜蜂一样不断吸引 Alpha 吃蜂蜜。到目前为止，她已经引起了两个 Alpha 的注意，这里的每个人都可能会假装这很正常，但为什么我们都知道这不是。

Luka Graves has always been straightforward and blunt. Those two qualities are some of the best things I admired about him yet I despise those qualities right now because I know he won’t let this go without getting answers.
卢卡·格雷夫斯 （Luka Graves） 一直直截了当。这两个品质是我钦佩他的一些最好的地方，但我现在鄙视这些品质，因为我知道他不会在没有得到答案的情况下放手。
卢卡·格雷夫斯 （Luka Graves） 一直直截了当。这两个品质是我钦佩他的一些最好的地方，但我现在鄙视这些品质，因为我知道他不会在没有得到答案的情况下放手。

Plus,I know among the two alphas he’s speaking about, one of them is Deacon and the other is Alpha Kieran Vega and I would argue that I didn't necessarily attract Alpha Kieran Vega’s attention on purpose.
另外，我知道在他所说的两个 alpha 中，一个是 Deacon，另一个是 Alpha Kieran Vega，我会争辩说我不一定是故意吸引 Alpha Kieran Vega 的注意。

Alpha Kieran who was and still is the CEO of Vega Industries bumped into me just outside the elevator and had made me spill coffee all over my most expensive blouse. With an easy and a genuine smile, Alpha Kieran had offered to buy me a new shirt but I had declined his offer and said I was fine. He’d asked me out to lunch on the same day and I had said ‘no’ and in the next two years, everytime he showed up here, he would call me ‘sweetheart’, ask me out and I would give him the same answer every time. I’m not interested. It was a running joke between us, nothing more.
Alpha Kieran 过去和现在都是 Vega Industries 的首席执行官，他在电梯外撞见了我，让我把咖啡洒在了我最昂贵的衬衫上。Alpha Kieran 带着轻松而真诚的微笑，提议给我买一件新衬衫，但我拒绝了他的提议，说我很好。他当天约我出去吃午饭，我说“不”，在接下来的两年里，每次他出现在这里，他都会叫我“甜心”，约我出去，我每次都会给他同样的答案。我不感兴趣。这是我们之间一个流传的笑话，仅此而已。

To Luka’s insinuation, I decide to play dumb.
在 Luka 的暗示下，我决定装傻。

“What?”
“什么？”

“Don’t ‘what’ me, Winter. First, that brooding Alpha from Vega industries who only comes here to see you and now the new boss? I need you to spill the truth to us, girl. Why does the boss want you as his assistant?”
“别'吩咐'我，Winter。首先，那个来自织女星工业的沉思的Alpha，他只是来这里见你的，现在是新老板？我需要你把真相告诉我们，女孩。为什么老板要你做他的助手？

The words that come out from my lips sound like lies even to my own ears,”I work harder than anyone in this office. The manager of the finance department didn’t see my potential but the boss went through my resume and decided to give me the promotion I deserve so no, Luka, the boss isn’t attracted to me.”
从我嘴里说出来的话，甚至在我自己耳中听起来都像是谎言，“我比这个办公室里的任何人都努力工作。财务部的经理没有看到我的潜力，但老板看了我的简历，决定给我应得的晋升，所以不，卢卡，老板对我没有吸引力。

Silence cuts between us with me waiting for Luka to buy my lie and Luka gazing at me like he doesn’t believe my bluff.
我们之间一片寂静，我等着 Luka 买我的谎言，而 Luka 盯着我看，好像他不相信我的虚张声势。

The whole awkwardness is split into two when the telephone on my desk rings.
当我桌上的电话响起时，整个尴尬一分为二。
当我桌上的电话响起时，整个尴尬一分为二。

I pick up the phone, holding it against my ear.
我拿起电话，把它贴在耳边。

“Bracken Holdings. How might I be of service-”
“Bracken Holdings。我该怎么服务——”

“Ms. Cavanaugh”, deep and husky, Deacon’s voice makes every nerve inside me char like burnt wood.
“卡瓦诺女士”，低沉而沙哑，迪肯的声音让我内心的每一根神经都像烧焦的木头一样烧焦。

We might not be face to face but Goddess I can feel his voice wash over me and seep inside my body like hot lava. I can also feel the excitement buzzing from my wolf just from the sound of his voice alone and I refuse to share the same feeling.
我们可能不是面对面的，但女神，我能感觉到他的声音冲刷着我，像热熔岩一样渗入我的身体。我也能从他的声音中感受到我的狼发出的兴奋嗡嗡声，我拒绝分享同样的感觉。

“How can I help you, Sir?”
“先生，我能帮你什么忙吗？”

I keep the vitriol in my voice to a minimum even though I very much want to cuss at him for the odd change of things.
我把声音中的尖酸刻薄保持在最低限度，尽管我非常想因为他奇怪的变化而责骂他。

Never in my life did I think I'd be in such a situation yet here we are. Me at his beck and call and him as the boss of the very company I've put my blood and sweat into.
在我的一生中，我从来没有想过我会处于这样的境地，而我们现在却在这里。我听从他的吩咐和召唤，他是我付出了血汗的公司的老板。
在我的一生中，我从来没有想过我会处于这样的境地，而我们现在却在这里。我听从他的吩咐和召唤，他是我付出了血汗的公司的老板。

“Come to my office, Winter.”
“到我的办公室来吧，温特。”

My heart pulses in my throat at the way he samples my name in his mouth. Like it’s something he’s been dying to say.
我的心在喉咙里跳动，因为他在嘴里品尝我的名字。就像这是他一直想说的话。

“And if I don’t want to, Sir?”
“如果我不想的话，先生？”

Defiance licks my voice. I want the money, I’m taking his offer but I’m not going to be obeying him the way he expects me to.
Defiance 舔了舔我的声音。我想要钱，我接受了他的提议，但我不会按照他期望我的方式服从他。

Luka and Julie have somehow started engaging in their own conversation, too caught up in themselves to listen in on my phone call.
Luka 和 Julie 不知何故开始进行他们自己的对话，他们太沉浸在自己身上，没有时间听我的电话。
Luka 和 Julie 不知何故开始进行他们自己的对话，他们太沉浸在自己身上，没有时间听我的电话。

“I didn’t phrase it as a question, Ms. Cavanaugh. Come to my office or I will come get you myself.”
“我没有把它当作一个问题来表达，卡瓦诺女士。到我的办公室来，不然我就自己来接你。

Fuck his tone but I can’t necessarily tell him that if I’m going to accept his offer. The threat in his voice is clear too. I go up to his office or he comes down to get me and with the rumors still going around, the last thing I need is to add more fire to them.
去他的语气，但我不一定能告诉他，如果我要接受他的提议。他声音中的威胁也很清楚。我去他的办公室，或者他下来接我，由于谣言还在流传，我最不需要的就是给他们添油加霜。

Swallowing my pride and digging a hole in my heart to bury the rage coursing through my veins, I excuse myself from my friends, with Luka telling me our conversation isn’t done.
我吞下了我的骄傲，在心里挖了一个洞，把流淌在我血管里的愤怒埋葬了，我向我的朋友们告辞，卢卡告诉我，我们的谈话还没有结束。
我吞下了我的骄傲，在心里挖了一个洞，把流淌在我血管里的愤怒埋葬了，我向我的朋友们告辞，卢卡告诉我，我们的谈话还没有结束。

As much as I wanted to avoid Luka’s conversation, I would pick it any day rather than this.
尽管我很想避免 Luka 的谈话，但我宁愿随时选择它，而不是现在。
尽管我很想避免 Luka 的谈话，但我宁愿随时选择它，而不是现在。

The lift up to Deacon’s office is nothing short of hives breaking on my skin and my palms getting sweatier than usual. I watch the numbers on the lift ascend and each time those numbers near his top floor, so does my frantic heartbeat skyrocket.
通往 Deacon 办公室的电梯里，我的皮肤上荨麻疹破壳，手心比平时出汗。我看着电梯上的数字上升，每次这些数字靠近他的顶楼时，我疯狂的心跳也会飙升。
通往 Deacon 办公室的电梯里，我的皮肤上荨麻疹破壳，手心比平时出汗。我看着电梯上的数字上升，每次这些数字靠近他的顶楼时，我疯狂的心跳也会飙升。

The perks of being a boss is, unlike us employees, the boss gets a whole floor to himself that consists of his office, his secretary’s workstation and a boardroom for meetings and presentations. While some of us suffocate in the stifling air we share with our co-workers, men like Deacon Cross get the luxury of fresh air and the best view money can offer.
作为老板的好处是，与我们员工不同，老板可以独享一整层楼，包括他的办公室、秘书的工作站和用于会议和演示的会议室。虽然我们中的一些人在与同事分享的令人窒息的空气中窒息而死，但像 Deacon Cross 这样的人却可以享受到奢华的新鲜空气和金钱所能提供的最佳景观。
作为老板的好处是，与我们员工不同，老板可以独享一整层楼，包括他的办公室、秘书的工作站和用于会议和演示的会议室。虽然我们中的一些人在与同事分享的令人窒息的空气中窒息而死，但像 Deacon Cross 这样的人却可以享受到奢华的新鲜空气和金钱所能提供的最佳景观。

When Mr. Wilfred owned this floor, I didn't even care if he existed but knowing Deacon Cross owns all of this makes me mad and jealous than I've ever been in my entire life.
当威尔弗雷德先生拥有这层楼时，我什至不在乎他是否存在，但知道 Deacon Cross 拥有这一切让我比我这辈子任何时候都生气和嫉妒。

Why does he get the soft life? Why does he get to live like a rich bachelor while I’ve struggled for seven years of my life to make ends meet?
为什么他会过上柔软的生活？为什么他可以像个有钱的单身汉一样生活，而我却在为维持生计挣扎了七年？
为什么他会过上柔软的生活？为什么他可以像个有钱的单身汉一样生活，而我却在为维持生计挣扎了七年？

My thoughts are severed when the ding of the elevator announces I’ve reached the top floor.
当电梯的叮当声宣布我已经到达顶楼时，我的思绪被打断了。
当电梯的叮当声宣布我已经到达顶楼时，我的思绪被打断了。

It takes about fourteen steps to get to his office and another dose of courage to knock on the door.
他花了大约14个步骤才到达他的办公室，又鼓起勇气敲了敲门。

“Come in”, Deacon’s voice vibrates from the other side of the door and I obey his command.
“进来”，Deacon 的声音从门的另一边震动，我服从他的命令。

The boss stands by the floor-to-ceiling window of his office, the city sprawling beneath him like a concrete and glass tapestry and as beautiful as the city looks from up here, my eyes flick through the muscles that threaten to rip his well tailored suit all the way to the back of his head, where his neatly cut dark hair lies.
老板站在他办公室的落地窗旁，城市像混凝土和玻璃挂毯一样在他脚下蔓延，与这座城市从这里看起来一样美丽，我的眼睛扫过那些有可能将他剪裁考究的西装一直撕裂到后脑勺的肌肉，那里是他修剪整齐的黑发。

He’s always been a handsome son of a gun and the years we’ve been apart only prove that assertion.
他一直是一个英俊的枪手儿子，我们分开的岁月只能证明这种说法。

“I’m assuming you showing up to the office today means you’ve taken my offer?”
“我猜你今天来办公室意味着你已经接受了我的提议？”
“我猜你今天来办公室意味着你已经接受了我的提议？”

I’m about to answer him but Deacon turns around, his eyes chasing mine in a way that should be deemed criminal.
我正要回答他，但狄肯转过身来，他的眼睛以一种应该被视为犯罪的方式追逐着我。

“Last I checked, you gave me forty eight hours to make my decision so I still have time to think about your offer, Mr. Cross.”
“上次我检查了一下，你给了我四十八个小时来做决定，所以我还有时间考虑你的提议，克洛斯先生。”

My words seem to have no effect on him because he moves around his desk walking towards me and with every step, I can feel my wolf begging me to at least ask him questions, to at least hear him out and let him in. I don't listen to her as I take one step back.
我的话似乎对他没有影响，因为他绕着桌子向我走来，每走一步，我都能感觉到我的狼在恳求我至少问他问题，至少听他说话并让他进来。我不听她的话，我后退了一步。
我的话似乎对他没有影响，因为他绕着桌子向我走来，每走一步，我都能感觉到我的狼在恳求我至少问他问题，至少听他说话并让他进来。我不听她的话，我后退了一步。

“Delaying the inevitable doesn’t change the fact that my offer is the best one you’ve got.”
“推迟不可避免的事情并不能改变这样一个事实，即我的报价是你得到的最好的报价。”
“推迟不可避免的事情并不能改变这样一个事实，即我的报价是你得到的最好的报价。”

“Yeah? Then why does it seem like you are the one who’s desperate to get me as your assistant instead of the other way around, Sir?” I ask.
“是吗？那为什么看起来你是那个不顾一切地让我成为你的助手的人，先生？”我问。

He doesn’t have to move for me to smell his musky cologne in the air.
他不需要移动，我就能闻到空气中的麝香古龙水。

It’s everywhere, it’s on my clothes, it’s in my nostrils, it’s the only other thing that makes my body heat apart from his lingering eyes.
它无处不在，它出现在我的衣服上，它在我的鼻孔里，它是除了他挥之不去的眼睛之外唯一让我的身体发热的东西。

“I never sugarcoated anything, baby. I’m here to win you back and if this is what I have to stoop to, so that I can get you back then so be it.”
“我从来没有粉饰过任何东西，宝贝。我是来赢回你的，如果这是我必须屈服的，这样我才能让你回来，那就这样吧。

My knees nearly go weak when he calls me baby but the incredulous laugh that bubbles from inside me comes from a place of pain,”We were done the day you rejected me, Mr. Cross and I’m afraid your money won’t be able to fix that..”
当他叫我宝贝时，我的膝盖几乎发软，但从我内心冒出的难以置信的笑声来自痛苦的地方，“你拒绝我的那天我们已经完蛋了，克罗斯先生，恐怕你的钱无法解决这个问题。

Something akin to pain flashes in his eyes but he masks it within seconds.
他的眼中闪过某种类似于痛苦的东西，但他在几秒钟内就掩盖住了它。
他的眼中闪过某种类似于痛苦的东西，但他在几秒钟内就掩盖住了它。

“Yes or no, Winter?”
“是还是不是，温特？”

He knows my answer but he wants me to say it and I do it because I refuse to back down when this is my city, my job, my new life.
他知道我的答案，但他希望我说出来，我这样做是因为我拒绝让步，因为这是我的城市、我的工作、我的新生活。

“Yes. I accept your offer, Mr. Cross.”
“是的。我接受你的提议，克洛斯先生。

xxx

My first official hours as Deacon’s personal assistant have me seated next to him as the CFO and the board members drone on about quarterly projections and profit margins. The boardroom air is thick with the sterile scent of polished wood and stale coffee while the hum of the city down below coalesces with the voices inside.
我作为 Deacon 的私人助理的第一个正式工作时间让我坐在他旁边，因为首席财务官和董事会成员喋喋不休地谈论季度预测和利润率。会议室的空气中弥漫着抛光木材和陈咖啡的无菌气味，而下面城市的嗡嗡声与里面的声音融为一体。
我作为 Deacon 的私人助理的第一个正式工作时间让我坐在他旁边，因为首席财务官和董事会成员喋喋不休地谈论季度预测和利润率。会议室的空气中弥漫着抛光木材和陈咖啡的无菌气味，而下面城市的嗡嗡声与里面的声音融为一体。

My job is to write down the notes and minutes while listening to what the CFO is talking about. A job I would normally do in my sleep but has proven difficult since I sat next to Deacon.
我的工作是写下笔记和会议记录，同时倾听 CFO 在谈论什么。我通常会在睡梦中做这项工作，但自从我坐在 Deacon 旁边以来，事实证明这很困难。

I have felt the weight of his eyes on me the entire time the meeting has been going on. He starts on my face, lingering on my lips before he traces the pulse hammering against my throat and in the madness of it all, I can almost feel his physical touch on my skin; rough, greedy and possessive.
在会议进行的整个过程中，我一直感觉到他的目光在我身上的重量。他从我的脸开始，在我的嘴唇上徘徊，然后他追踪着敲打我喉咙的脉搏，在这一切的疯狂中，我几乎可以感觉到他对我皮肤的身体触摸;粗暴、贪婪和占有欲。

The bastard doesn’t even try to hide it as his eyes graze the cleavage peeking from my dress. The action itself feels like he’s stripping me of my clothes one by one and I can’t do anything about it other than try to close my thighs and pray to the Goddess that the meeting ends so I can run to the nearest washroom and catch a breath. Possibly maybe even try to soothe the throbbing ache between my legs.
这个混蛋甚至没有试图隐藏它，因为他的眼睛擦过从我衣服上露出的。这个动作本身感觉就像他把我的衣服一件一件地脱掉了，我什么也做不了，只能试着合上我的大腿，向女神祈祷会议结束，这样我就可以跑到最近的洗手间喘口气了。甚至可能尝试缓解我两腿之间悸动的疼痛。

“What do you think, boss?” One of the board members asks or I think it’s the CFO’s voice, I can’t even tell anymore.
“老板，你怎么看？”其中一位董事会成员问道，或者我认为是 CFO 的声音，我什至说不清了。

I don’t look at Deacon as he opens his mouth to speak,”The contingency we’ll use to make sure we don’t face the same risks Wilfred put the company through, are not entirely clear. Elaborate more on that.”
我没有看Deacon，他张开嘴说话，“我们将使用什么应急措施来确保我们不会面临Wilfred让公司经历的同样风险，这并不完全清楚。请详细说明。

Deacon’s request sets the meeting running for another hour and this time he not only stares at me but his leg brushes mine on purpose no matter how much I try to avoid him under the table.
狄肯的要求让会议又进行了一个小时，这一次他不仅盯着我看，而且他的腿故意擦过我的腿，无论我多么努力地躲在桌子底下。
狄肯的要求让会议又进行了一个小时，这一次他不仅盯着我看，而且他的腿故意擦过我的腿，无论我多么努力地躲在桌子底下。

Almost three hours later, I watch as everyone trickles out of the boardroom and I stand up ready to leave this room, this building and reach the confines of my home within thirty minutes but that turns out to be wishful thinking.
将近三个小时后，我看着每个人都从会议室里溜出来，我站起来，准备在三十分钟内离开这个房间、这栋楼，到达我家的界限，但事实证明，这只是一厢情愿。

“Where do you think you are going, Ms. Cavanugh?” Deacon’s question has me confused.
“你觉得你要去哪里，卡瓦努女士？”迪肯的问题让我感到困惑。

It’s almost six in the evening, everyone has left. Correction, every employee leaves the office at six and seven at the latest.
快晚上六点了，大家都下班了。更正一下，每个员工最晚六点七点就下班了。

“I thought we were done here, Sir.”
“我以为我们已经到此为止了，先生。”

I ask the question while facing him and I don’t miss the mischief written in his dark, heavy lidded eyes.
我面对他问这个问题，我不会错过他那双漆黑沉重的眼睑里写的恶作剧。

“There’s more work to be done other than jotting down minutes for one measly board meeting, Ms. Cavanaugh. Unless you have a date waiting for you somewhere?”
“除了为一次微不足道的董事会会议记下会议记录之外，还有更多的工作要做，卡瓦诺女士。除非你在某个地方有约会等着你？

He’s going to keep me here till midnight, I know it.
他会把我留在这里直到午夜，我知道。

I also read the insinuation under his words and how easy would it be to tell him I want to rush home to see my babies because they are waiting for me and not because I have a date?
我还读到了他话语中的暗示，告诉他我想赶回家看我的孩子，因为他们在等我，而不是因为我有约会，这有多容易？

“I don’t think my personal life is any of your business, Mr. Cross. What else do you need me to do before I leave?”
“我不认为我的私生活与你无关，克洛斯先生。在我走之前，你还需要我做什么？

CHAPTER TEN
第十章

DEACON
执事

If there was one quality that Jake hated about his sister, it was her stubbornness. Seven years later and Winter wears that stubbornness like a suit of armor she won’t let me get past. Our first day working together and she has proven to be a tough nut to crack. The entire day I've forced her to be with me, she’s hardly let her guard down let alone let me in. I’m starting to think that I can’t put a dent on those walls she’s built so high to keep me out.
如果说杰克讨厌他姐姐的什么品质，那就是她的固执。七年过去了，冬天把那种固执穿上了她不会让我过去的盔甲。我们一起工作的第一天，她已经证明是一个难以破解的难题。我强迫她陪着我一整天，她几乎没有放松警惕，更不用说让我进来了。我开始觉得我无法在她为我建造的那些高墙上留下一个凹痕。
如果说杰克讨厌他姐姐的什么品质，那就是她的固执。七年过去了，冬天把那种固执穿上了她不会让我过去的盔甲。我们一起工作的第一天，她已经证明是一个难以破解的难题。我强迫她陪着我一整天，她几乎没有放松警惕，更不用说让我进来了。我开始觉得我无法在她为我建造的那些高墙上留下一个凹痕。

Her work station being in my office means we are seated in the same room but not once has she flicked her gaze at me. Since the meeting with the CFO ended a few hours ago, I’ve tried engaging her in conversation but my mate has done nothing but shut me out since I told her she wasn’t done for the day.
她的工作站在我的办公室，这意味着我们坐在同一个房间里，但她一次也没有盯着我看。自从几个小时前与首席财务官的会议结束以来，我试着与她交谈，但我的伴侣除了把我拒之门外，什么也没做，因为我告诉她她今天没有完成。

Citylights from the world outside penetrate past my windows but there’s nothing that beats the view of the moon’s light falling on Winter’s desk and by extension falling on her too. Sounds of the aircon and the bustling drivers from down below distantly reach us but all I can listen to is the sound of her breathing as she yet again grows frustrated at the situation.
外面的世界的城市灯光穿过我的窗户，但没有什么能比得上月光落在冬天的桌子上，进而落在她身上的景色。空调的声音和下面熙熙攘攘的司机的声音远处传来，但我能听到的只是她的呼吸声，因为她再次对这种情况感到沮丧。

My wolf’s impatience flays me raw from the inside. I can taste his wounded ego so sour in my mouth and although his primal instincts revolve around getting Winter to want us back and possibly kiss her again, I try to get Winter’s attention another way.
我的狼的不耐烦从内心生生地剥开了我的皮。我可以在嘴里尝到他受伤的自我如此酸涩，尽管他的原始本能围绕着让 Winter 想要我们回来并可能再次亲吻她，但我试图以另一种方式引起 Winter 的注意。

Dragging my eyes on her again, I drink in the sharp features of her face all including her high cheekbones that are dusted with a pink blush. I drink in the way her brows furrow as she goes over the quarterly reports, how her lips curl and she worries her bottom lip into her mouth because she doesn’t seem to understand anything on the sheet of paper she’s holding and most importantly, how those long toned legs would look great against my face as I ate her core out.
我再次将目光拖向她，沉浸在她脸上尖锐的五官中，包括她高高的颧骨上沾满了粉红色的腮红。我沉浸在她翻阅季度报告时皱起眉头的样子，她的嘴唇如何卷曲，她担心地将下唇塞进嘴里，因为她似乎什么都不明白她手里的纸上的任何内容，最重要的是，当我吃掉她的核心时，那些修长的腿在我的脸上看起来会多么美妙。

Goddess, have I missed the taste of what’s between her legs. My memory is still fresh when it comes to Winter and so is the memory of how addicting she tastes like and how pretty she looks when she’s coming from my fingers alone.
女神，我是不是错过了她两腿之间的味道。说到冬天，我的记忆仍然很新鲜，她的味道是多么令人上瘾，当她独自从我的手指中出来时，她看起来是多么漂亮。

Looking at her now and going back to that night, one thought festers in my mind. I should have marked her. I should have claimed ownership of her that night. Marking her would have meant me sinking my fangs into her neck and being one with her. That sort of thing would have also required Winter to become less anxious and mentally prepared otherwise if she wasn’t, there were the chances of her bleeding out or experiencing pain more than she should have. Looking back now, I should have left my mark which would have presented itself as a tattoo pattern on her neck.
现在看着她，回到那个晚上，一个想法在我脑海中溃烂。我应该标记她。我应该在那天晚上声称拥有她。标记她意味着我将獠牙插入她的脖子，与她合二为一。这种事情也要求温特变得不那么焦虑和心理准备，否则如果她不这样做，她很可能会流血或经历比她应该的更多的痛苦。现在回想起来，我应该在她的脖子上留下我的印记，它会以纹身图案的形式出现。
现在看着她，回到那个晚上，一个想法在我脑海中溃烂。我应该标记她。我应该在那天晚上声称拥有她。标记她意味着我将獠牙插入她的脖子，与她合二为一。这种事情也要求温特变得不那么焦虑和心理准备，否则如果她不这样做，她很可能会流血或经历比她应该的更多的痛苦。现在回想起来，我应该在她的脖子上留下我的印记，它会以纹身图案的形式出现。

Maybe we wouldn’t be here if I had done so. Maybe rejecting her but still putting my mark on her neck would have assured her I wanted her to be mine but circumstances forced me not to keep her.
如果我这样做了，也许我们就不会在这里。也许拒绝她但仍然在她的脖子上留下我的印记会让她确信我希望她是我的，但环境迫使我不要留下她。
如果我这样做了，也许我们就不会在这里。也许拒绝她但仍然在她的脖子上留下我的印记会让她确信我希望她是我的，但环境迫使我不要留下她。

Testing the waters,the need to know why she’s been checking the watch on her wrist for close to ten minutes now, I break the silence that has stretched on between us hoping my thoughts about her having a date have no roots.
试水，需要知道她为什么已经检查手腕上的手表将近十分钟了，我打破了我们之间一直延伸的沉默，希望我关于她约会的想法没有根源。

“You seem upset, Ms. Cavanaugh. Is something the matter?”
“你看起来很不高兴，卡瓦诺女士。有什么事吗？

Winter’s answer to my question is a steely blank stare directed at me. One that would melt even the strongest of icicles to mere puddles.
Winter 对我问题的回答是一双钢铁般的茫然凝视。它甚至可以将最坚固的冰柱融化成一滩水洼。
Winter 对我问题的回答是一双钢铁般的茫然凝视。它甚至可以将最坚固的冰柱融化成一滩水洼。

“I don’t know, Mr. Cross. Why don’t you tell me? Are you keeping me here to punish me? I’ve reviewed these reports thrice, counter checked them twice too and I still can’t find the problem.”
“我不知道，克洛斯先生。你为什么不告诉我？你把我留在这里是为了惩罚我吗？这些报告我已经看了三次，也反查了两次，但我还是找不到问题所在。
“我不知道，克洛斯先生。你为什么不告诉我？你把我留在这里是为了惩罚我吗？这些报告我已经看了三次，也反查了两次，但我还是找不到问题所在。

Listening to her call me ‘Mr. Cross’ feels like I’m trying to chew rusty nails down my throat every fucking time; and she won’t find the problem because there’s no problem in those financial reports in the first place. I said I would resort to anything to get her back and this is but a tip of the iceberg.
听她叫我“克罗斯先生”，感觉就像我他妈的每次都想把生锈的指甲咀嚼到我的喉咙里;而且她不会发现问题所在，因为那些财务报告本来就没有问题。我说我会不惜一切代价让她回来，而这只是冰山一角。
听她叫我“克罗斯先生”，感觉就像我他妈的每次都想把生锈的指甲咀嚼到我的喉咙里;而且她不会发现问题所在，因为那些财务报告本来就没有问题。我说我会不惜一切代价让她回来，而这只是冰山一角。

“You can be out of here in minutes if you give me what I want, Winter. One question, baby. Give me the answer to my question and you can leave.”
“如果你给我我想要的东西，你几分钟就能离开这里，冬天。一个问题，宝贝。把我问题的答案给我，然后你就可以离开了。

She’s dodged the one question that’s racking my mind like an itch and I can’t help but feel pissed off about it every ticking minute. I blame it on Martin. Ever since he mentioned another Alpha being in Winter’s life, I’ve all but gone crazy. Thoughts of Winter and another alpha together or flirting or dating have been making me see red all day.
她回避了一个让我心痒难耐的问题，我每时每刻都忍不住为此感到生气。我把这归咎于马丁。自从他提到冬天生命中的另一个阿尔法存在以来，我几乎发疯了。一想到冬天和另一个阿尔法在一起，或者调情或约会，我整天都红了。
她回避了一个让我心痒难耐的问题，我每时每刻都忍不住为此感到生气。我把这归咎于马丁。自从他提到冬天生命中的另一个阿尔法存在以来，我几乎发疯了。一想到冬天和另一个阿尔法在一起，或者调情或约会，我整天都红了。

Winter piles up the reports neatly against her desk before she picks her purse, stands up and says, “If that’s all you needed, then I'll be on my way, Mr. Cross.”
Winter 把报告整齐地堆在她的桌子上，然后她拿起钱包，站起来说，“如果这就是你所需要的，那我就走了，克洛斯先生。

The minute she makes a beeline for the door, my feet are already hoisting me up and one minute I’m behind my desk, watching her, instead of focusing on work and the next minute, I’m standing right behind her, my hand above her head, my gaze on her and my entire body caging her from the back.
当她径直走向门口的那一刻，我的脚已经把我抬起来，前一分钟我还在桌子后面，看着她，而不是专注于工作，下一分钟，我就站在她身后，我的手举过她的头顶，我的目光注视着她，我的整个身体从后面把她笼住了。

Jealousy and possessiveness clench my heart in a vice grip and words fly from my mouth faster than I stop them, “Do you call him Sir? Or do you call him by his first name?”
嫉妒和占有欲紧紧抓住了我的心，话语从我嘴里飞出的速度比我阻止它们的速度还快，“你叫他先生吗？还是叫他的名字？

Her shoulders stiffen and I watch the action itself without backing down.
她的肩膀僵硬了，我看着动作本身，没有退缩。

“Is he waiting for you to get home right as we speak, Winter? Is that the reason you’ve been itching to get away from me all night?”
“在我们说话的时候，他是在等你回家吗，温特？这就是你整晚都想离开我的原因吗？

Silence.
沉默。

Winter gives me nothing but the silent treatment and in that silence, is confusion and disbelief written in her pretty features. As if what I just said wounds her and shocks her at the same time. For me I take her silence as my answer. I might have been right about her having a date, I might have also been right in assuming there’s a guy, more specifically Kieran Vega waiting for her somewhere. .
冬天只给我无声的对待，在那种沉默中，她漂亮的五官上写满了困惑和难以置信。仿佛我刚才说的话既伤了她，又让她感到震惊。对我来说，我把她的沉默当作我的答案。我关于她约会的说法可能是对的，我假设有一个男人，更具体地说是 Kieran Vega 在某个地方等她，也可能是对的。

I can hear the little spurts of air that erupt from her nostrils, I can almost see her eyes without standing in front of her and this is the most torturous thing I’ve had to endure.
我能听到从她的鼻孔喷出的小气，我几乎可以看到她的眼睛，即使站在她面前，这也是我不得不忍受的最痛苦的事情。
我能听到从她的鼻孔喷出的小气，我几乎可以看到她的眼睛，即使站在她面前，这也是我不得不忍受的最痛苦的事情。

To ask my mate whether she’s seeing another man, whether she moved on from me, when the truth of the matter is my insides feel like they are being chopped to pieces by a serrated blade from anticipating her answer.
问我的朋友她是否在看另一个男人，她是否离开了我，而事实是，我的内心感觉就像是被锯齿状的刀片切成碎片，因为期待她的回答。

Putting my foot in my own mouth, i lean closer, my lips almost touching the shell of her ear, “Does Kieran Vega know you were mine first and you are still mine when he fucked you?”
把脚伸进自己的嘴里，我靠得更近了，我的嘴唇几乎碰到了她的耳壳，“Kieran Vega知道你先是我的，而当他操你的时候，你还是我的吗？

“Fuck you, Deacon”,the hitch in her breathing and the sound of her voice cracking as she speaks tells me I went too far.
“去你妈的，执事”，她呼吸的急促和她说话时嘶哑的声音告诉我，我做得太过分了。

Winter pushes the double-edged doors with enough might to bring the building down. By the time my mind registers I just ruined our work relationship before it even began, Winter is already running down the hall that leads to the only lift on this floor.
Winter 用足够的力量推开了双刃门，将大楼推倒。当我的脑海中回想起我刚刚在工作关系开始之前就破坏了我们的工作关系时，Winter 已经沿着通往这一层唯一电梯的走廊跑下。

I give her a head start, I watch her do the exact same thing she did years ago and I couldn't stop her but this time round? I run after my mate. I choose her. I’ll always choose her.
我给她一个良好的开端，我看着她做着几年前做过的一模一样的事情，我无法阻止她，但这次呢？我追着我的伴侣跑。我选择她。我永远选择她。

The elevator doors part in time for Winter to get in. Once she’s inside, Winter raises her head and our eyes meet and I can't forget the look written on her face.
电梯门及时分开，让 Winter 进来。她一进去，Winter 就抬起头，我们的目光相遇，我无法忘记她脸上的表情。
电梯门及时分开，让 Winter 进来。她一进去，Winter 就抬起头，我们的目光相遇，我无法忘记她脸上的表情。

Like she didn’t expect me to run after her. Like she’s already decided that I’m the asshole who’ll never run after her no matter what.
就像她没想到我会追她。就像她已经决定我是那个无论如何都不会追她的混蛋。
就像她没想到我会追她。就像她已经决定我是那个无论如何都不会追她的混蛋。

Our eyes colliding, my feet moving faster than those doors close, my little mate taps the button at least thrice so she can lock herself inside and lock me out. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for me, I shoulder my way inside the metal contraption before the doors shut and lock us both inside.
我们的眼睛相撞，我的脚移动得比那些门关上的速度还快，我的小伙伴至少按了三次按钮，这样她就可以把自己锁在里面，把我锁在外面。对她来说不幸的是，对我来说也很幸运，在门关上之前，我肩膀走进了金属装置，把我们俩锁在里面。
我们的眼睛相撞，我的脚移动得比那些门关上的速度还快，我的小伙伴至少按了三次按钮，这样她就可以把自己锁在里面，把我锁在外面。对她来说不幸的是，对我来说也很幸运，在门关上之前，我肩膀走进了金属装置，把我们俩锁在里面。

“Winter-”
“冬天——”

“No. Just no, Deacon! You rejected me and I left. Was that not enough for you? Was me losing my family and losing you all in the same shitty month not enough satisfaction for you?”
“不。就是不，执事！你拒绝了我，我就走了。这对你来说还不够吗？难道我在同一个糟糕的月份里失去了我的家人和你，还不够让你满意吗？
“不。就是不，执事！你拒绝了我，我就走了。这对你来说还不够吗？难道我在同一个糟糕的月份里失去了我的家人和你，还不够让你满意吗？

Her eyes burn aflame, those green shards of eyes she has being an inch away from spilling a bout of tears as she points an accusatory finger at me.
她的眼睛燃烧着火焰，当她用指责的手指指着我时，她那双绿色的眼睛碎片离她只有一英寸的距离要流出一阵泪水。

Static only filters through my ears as I sample her words.
静电只会在我采样她的文字时过滤我的耳朵。

“Satisfaction? For Goddess' sake, Jacob was my best friend too, Winter. Your family was like my-”
“满意吗？看在女神的份上，雅各布也是我最好的朋友，温特。你的家人就像我一样——”

Winter cuts me off like a woman scorned,”My family was never your family, Deacon. Jake was never your fucking best friend if you couldn’t even be man enough to stop your father’s lies and avenge his death years ago.”
冬天打断了我的话，就像一个女人轻蔑地说道，“我的家人从来都不是你的家人，执事。如果你连个男人都不能阻止你父亲的谎言，为他几年前的死报仇，那么Jake从来都不是你他妈的最好的朋友 。

How wrong she is and I couldn’t even begin to tell her by just how much.
她错得有多大，我什至无法开始告诉她到底有多大。

Not backing down, refusing to let me have a word in because she’s hurt and tired all together, Winter continues talking and every word is laced with as much acid as she can summon.
Winter 没有退缩，因为她又伤又累，拒绝让我说一句话，她继续说话，每一个字都掺杂着她能召唤出的酸。

“Which is why you do not get the right to come here and pretend like you own me. You don’t get the right to ask who i’m fucking or who I’m not fucking because i am not yours and you are not mine. Whether it’s Alpha Kieran or someone else, you lost all the right to me a long time ago, Deacon.”
“这就是为什么你没有权利来这里假装你拥有我。你没有权利问我他妈的是谁，或者我他妈的不是谁，因为我不是你的，你也不是我的。无论是Alpha Kieran还是其他人，你很久以前就失去了我的所有权利，Deacon。

The only assurance I have here is that this lift provides me all the room to corner her without her running off, and without anyone interfering with us.
我在这里唯一能保证的是，这部电梯为我提供了所有的空间，让她不会跑掉，也不会有人打扰我们。

I eat away the distance between us and Winter steels herself against the steel wall ready for me.
我蚕食着我们之间的距离，Winter把自己靠在为我准备好的钢墙上。
我蚕食着我们之间的距离，Winter把自己靠在为我准备好的钢墙上。

“A long time ago you reminded me of one thing, Winter. That we are fated. That, come what may this pull between us would never cease to exist.”
“很久以前，你让我想起了一件事，冬天。我们是命中注定的。那，无论我们之间的这种拉扯如何，都不会停止存在。
“很久以前，你让我想起了一件事，冬天。我们是命中注定的。那，无论我们之间的这种拉扯如何，都不会停止存在。

Her eyes pool with tears but with her tough as nails exterior and the ire she has for me, she doesn’t let those tears fall. She would rather jump off a building than let me see her cry. And I don't know whether to clap at her strength or to be offended by the fact that she’ll never allow herself to be vulnerable towards me ever again.
她的眼睛里积满了泪水，但她坚韧如钉的外表和她对我的愤怒，她没有让那些眼泪掉下来。她宁愿跳楼也不愿让我看到她的哭泣。我不知道是该为她的力量鼓掌，还是因为她再也不会允许自己对我脆弱而感到冒犯。
她的眼睛里积满了泪水，但她坚韧如钉的外表和她对我的愤怒，她没有让那些眼泪掉下来。她宁愿跳楼也不愿让我看到她的哭泣。我不知道是该为她的力量鼓掌，还是因为她再也不会允许自己对我脆弱而感到冒犯。

“The girl who told you that was young, dumb and naive. She should have seen your betrayal from a mile away. You didn’t acknowledge me as your Luna in front of the pack because I was the same girl who would have opened her legs for you anytime because I had a crush on you. You were never going to admit I was your Luna nor were you ever going to mark me and I should have seen it coming, Deacon. Goddess, was i stupid.”
“告诉你那句话的女孩年轻、愚蠢、天真。她应该在一英里外看到你的背叛。你没有在人群面前承认我是你的 Luna，因为我是同一个女孩，因为我暗恋你，随时都会为你张开双腿。你永远不会承认我是你的 Luna，你也不会标记我，我应该预见到它的到来，Deacon。女神，我愚蠢吗。

My ears peak at the word ‘mark’. She thinks I didn't mark her because I wasn't planning to make her my Luna after I took her virginity? She was eighteen, she had just had her wolf, I had just made her bleed on my cock and I thought that marking her would come at another time. I thought we had time to explore our bond and get to the marking when she was at least comfortable to be fully mine. I had been wrong about that though.
我的耳朵在“标记”这个词上达到顶峰。她认为我没有标记她，因为我不打算在夺走她的童贞后让她成为我的 Luna？她十八岁，她刚刚生了她的狼，我刚刚让她在我的鸡巴上流血，我想标记她会在另一个时候出现。我认为我们有时间探索我们的纽带，并在她至少感到舒适时完全成为我的时候进行标记。不过我错了。
我的耳朵在“标记”这个词上达到顶峰。她认为我没有标记她，因为我不打算在夺走她的童贞后让她成为我的 Luna？她十八岁，她刚刚生了她的狼，我刚刚让她在我的鸡巴上流血，我想标记她会在另一个时候出现。我认为我们有时间探索我们的纽带，并在她至少感到舒适时完全成为我的时候进行标记。不过我错了。

Plus I might have been an asshole back then but even with that, I wouldn’t have marked her and increased her pain all in the same night. I couldn’t have handled seeing my mate in that much pain no matter what me and my wolf wanted.
另外，那时我可能是个混蛋，但即使这样，我也不会在同一晚标记她并增加她的痛苦。无论我和我的狼想要什么，我都无法忍受看到我的伴侣如此痛苦。

“Is that what it’ll take Winter? My mark? Because I'll mark you right here right now if you want, baby. I’ll put my mark on that graceful little neck so that men like Kieran Vega understand you are not up for grabs. I didn’t mark you then because you’d just bled for me but you are stronger now. Say the word, Winter.”
“这就是冬天需要的吗？我的标记？因为如果你愿意，我现在就在这里给你做标记，宝贝。我会在那优雅的小脖子上做标记，这样像Kieran Vega这样的男人就会明白你不是可以被抓住的。那时我没有标记你，因为你刚刚为我流血，但你现在更强大了。说出这个词，Winter。
“这就是冬天需要的吗？我的标记？因为如果你愿意，我现在就在这里给你做标记，宝贝。我会在那优雅的小脖子上做标记，这样像Kieran Vega这样的男人就会明白你不是可以被抓住的。那时我没有标记你，因为你刚刚为我流血，但你现在更强大了。说出这个词，Winter。

I corner her,caging my arms against her and the wall. Winter opens her mouth, her hands slapping my chest ready to push me away but we are both startled by the red light that flicks inside the lift. I’ve seen enough elevator malfunctions to know what comes next.
我把她逼到角落里，用手臂抵住她和墙壁。Winter张开了她的嘴，她的手拍打着我的胸膛，准备把我推开，但我们都被电梯里闪烁的红灯吓了一跳。我已经见过足够多的电梯故障，知道接下来会发生什么。

One minute later and stark darkness fills the whole lift.
一分钟后，整个电梯里一片漆黑。

One second in the darkness and Winter shrieks.
在黑暗中前一秒，Winter 尖叫。

CHAPTER ELEVEN
第十一章

WINTER
冬

This is all his fault.
这都是他的错。

This would have never happened if he let me walk out of here when everyone did.
如果他让我在所有人都离开这里时离开这里，这永远不会发生。

He kept me here.
他把我留在这里。

He made some shocking accusations that riled me up and caused me to react when I said I wouldn’t bat an eyelid to anything he did today.
他提出了一些令人震惊的指控，这些指控激怒了我，当我说我不会对他今天所做的任何事情睁一只眼闭一只眼时，我做出了反应。
他提出了一些令人震惊的指控，这些指控激怒了我，当我说我不会对他今天所做的任何事情睁一只眼闭一只眼时，我做出了反应。

And now, we are trapped in an elevator with both our phones having no signal service to call for help.
而现在，我们被困在电梯里，我们的两部手机都没有信号服务来寻求帮助。
而现在，我们被困在电梯里，我们的两部手机都没有信号服务来寻求帮助。

A streak of white hot fear blazes across my face as I try to make out everything in front of me only to fail disastrously at it. I can’t see a thing. Pitch darkness surrounds us and eats us up without mercy and I can't move because I’m afraid if I do so, the lift might give in to mine and Deacon’s weight and drop us.
一丝白热的恐惧在我的脸上燃烧起来，我试图看清眼前的一切，却灾难性地失败了。我什么也看不到。漆黑包围着我们，毫不留情地吞噬着我们，我不能动弹，因为我害怕如果我这样做，电梯可能会屈服于我和迪肯的重量，把我们摔下来。

I can’t die like this. I can’t die trapped within four solid walls of steel with him no less. I can’t leave Asher and Adrian without… without telling them how much I love them. I'm not yet ready to leave them in the first place!
我不能就这样死去。我不能和他一起被困在四堵坚固的钢铁墙里 。我不能离开 Asher 和 Adrian......而不告诉他们我有多爱他们。我还没有准备好离开他们！

Deacon’s hand cups my cheek in the darkness and I grab the lapel of his jacket as if I need a tether to prevent me from plunging to death. Whether I like it or not, his scent and the feel of his touch on my skin is the only thing that makes sense right now and without it, I don't think I'm going to survive being locked in a lift that’s probably dangling above thirty floors from the ground.
迪肯的手在黑暗中捂住我的脸颊，我抓住他夹克的翻领，仿佛我需要一根绳子来防止我坠落而死。不管我喜不喜欢，他的气味和他触碰我皮肤的感觉是现在唯一有意义的东西，没有它，我认为我无法被锁在离地面三十多层楼高的电梯里活下来。
迪肯的手在黑暗中捂住我的脸颊，我抓住他夹克的翻领，仿佛我需要一根绳子来防止我坠落而死。不管我喜不喜欢，他的气味和他触碰我皮肤的感觉是现在唯一有意义的东西，没有它，我认为我无法被锁在离地面三十多层楼高的电梯里活下来。

“Breathe, baby. I need you to take a breath for me. In. Out.”
“呼吸，宝贝。我需要你帮我呼吸。 在。 出去。

I hate this.
我讨厌这个。

I hate him.
我恨他。

And I pay heed to his words like I'm his dainty loyal omega and he’s my alpha. Almost like deja vu.
我听他的话，就像我是他娇小忠诚的 omega，他是我的 alpha。几乎就像似曾相识。

One gulp of fresh air through my nostrils and all the way to my lungs feels like I’m inhaling liquid fire. It burns and it fails to take the uneasiness away.
一口新鲜空气通过我的鼻孔一直吹到我的肺部，感觉就像我吸入了液体火。它燃烧着，但它无法消除不安。

“Turn”, my voice cracks and I swallow past the feel of nausea, dizziness and crippling fear before I correct myself,”Turn the lights…on. Please.”
“转”，我的声音沙哑，我忍住了恶心、头晕和极度恐惧的感觉，然后我纠正自己，“把灯关...... 上。 拜托。

His hand slides down from my cheek to the column of my neck and I would be lying if I said the feel of his thumb applying pressure to my throbbing pulse isn’t doing a thing in calming my frayed nerves.
他的手从我的脸颊滑到我的脖子上，如果我说他的拇指对我跳动的脉搏施加压力的感觉对平息我紧张的神经没有任何帮助，那我就是在撒谎。
他的手从我的脸颊滑到我的脖子上，如果我说他的拇指对我跳动的脉搏施加压力的感觉对平息我紧张的神经没有任何帮助，那我就是在撒谎。

Like a damsel in distress who needs saving, I lean into his palm all the more, needing him more than I can admit.
就像一个需要拯救的遇险少女一样，我更加靠在他的手掌中，对他的需要超过了我所能承认的程度。
就像一个需要拯救的遇险少女一样，我更加靠在他的手掌中，对他的需要超过了我所能承认的程度。

“Wish i could do just that, Winter but the lights will be back anytime now. Give it a few seconds.”
“希望我能做到这一点，冬天，但灯光现在随时都会回来。再等几秒钟。

I can’t survive a few seconds here.
我在这里不能活几秒钟。

My wolf is panicking so much that I can feel her rioting inside my head. We’ve never been able to handle enclosed spaces for too long.
我的狼非常恐慌，我能感觉到她在我的脑海里暴动。我们从来没有处理过封闭的空间太久了。
我的狼非常恐慌，我能感觉到她在我的脑海里暴动。我们从来没有处理过封闭的空间太久了。

Did I use this same lift to come and leave the office for all the years I've worked here? Yes but that was different from this.
我在这里工作的这些年里，是否使用同一部电梯来出办公室？是的，但那与这次不同。

Being trapped here inside this lift without it moving, reminds me of how my family died. I’m trapped the same way my parents and Jake were caged in our burning house with no way of saving themselves and the reminder of how they died makes my body leap into panic.
被困在这部电梯里一动不动，让我想起了我的家人是如何死去的。我被困在燃烧的房子里，就像我父母和杰克被关在燃烧的房子里一样，没有办法自救，提醒我他们是如何死去的，这让我的身体陷入恐慌。
被困在这部电梯里一动不动，让我想起了我的家人是如何死去的。我被困在燃烧的房子里，就像我父母和杰克被关在燃烧的房子里一样，没有办法自救，提醒我他们是如何死去的，这让我的身体陷入恐慌。

“Winter, hey? Stay with me, baby”, Deacon begs.
“冬天，嘿？陪着我，宝贝”，Deacon 乞求道。

I bite my bottom lip in my mouth venting out my fear and anger on him, ”Don’t call me baby. Not right now, Deacon Cross.”
我咬着下唇，向他发泄我的恐惧和愤怒，“别叫我宝贝。现在不行，克洛斯执事。

His other hand moves to my right arm and he caresses me, never leaving me to die in the darkness alone.
他的另一只手移到我的右臂上，爱抚着我，从来没有让我独自死在黑暗中。

“You hate me calling you, baby when we are mates?”
“你讨厌我叫你，宝贝，当我们是伙伴的时候？”

My heart pulses in my mouth. This is how I die, isn’t it?
我的心在嘴里跳动。我就是这样死的，不是吗？

“This is all your fault. You… did this!”
“这都是你的错。 你。。。 做到了这个！

You self-entitled prick of an Alpha.
你这个自称是 Alpha 的刺。
你这个自称是 Alpha 的刺。

“I did.” Deacon takes the blame more easily than I'd expect him to and that only fuels my wrath. The wrath that’s coated with nothing more than terror.
“是的。”迪肯比我想象的他更容易接受责备，这只会助长我的愤怒。那种只披着恐惧的愤怒。
“是的。”迪肯比我想象的他更容易接受责备，这只会助长我的愤怒。那种只披着恐惧的愤怒。

“You should have let me leave. I wouldn’t be in this…this darkness if it wasn’t for you.”
“你应该让我离开。如果不是你，我不会在这里......这片黑暗中。

I wouldn’t be too far away from my babies if he didn’t make me work overtime. And all for what? Some fucking reports that didn’t even make sense?
如果他不让我加班，我就不会离我的孩子太远了。而这一切是为了什么？一些他妈的连都没意义的报道？

“Keep talking, Winter. Focus on me, you got that? I want your thoughts on me and not on the darkness, baby.”
“继续说，Winter。把注意力集中在我身上，你明白了吗？我想让你的心思在我身上，而不是在黑暗上，宝贝。

Reaching out for his chest and grazing the rippling muscles underneath his shirt, my body moves on its own accord to Deacon and soon enough, I’m hugging him.
伸手摸向他的胸膛，擦过他衬衫下起伏的肌肉，我的身体自然而然地向Deacon移动，很快，我就拥抱了他。

“I hate you. .”
“我恨你......”

Patting my head and acting like I said nothing, Deacon’s hand comes falling on the back of my head And he hugs me so tight like he knows I’ll break if he doesn’t catch me.
拍拍我的头，装作什么都没说的样子，迪肯的手落在了我的后脑勺上，他紧紧地抱着我，就像他知道如果他不抓住我，我就会崩溃。

“Hate me as much as you will, Winter because I’ll love you enough for both of us”, he says that in a voice like nightshade, one that’s cloaked with determination and certainty and how wrong he is if he thinks me hugging him in a moment of weakness means i’m accepting him and his so called love.
“你想怎么恨我，冬天，因为我会为了我们俩而爱你”，他用一种像夜影一样的声音说，这种声音披着决心和确定的外衣，如果他认为我在虚弱的时刻拥抱他意味着我接受了他和他所谓的爱，那他就错了。

The Goddess, who's been watching me on the precipice of a breakdown, somehow remembers us when a beeping sound bounces off the walls and light fills the space we are in, blinding us temporarily. I lift my cheek from Deacon’s chest as if mere contact with him will burn my skin off.
一直在崩溃的边缘看着我的女神，不知何故，当一声哔哔声从墙壁上反弹时，光线充满了我们所在的空间，让我们暂时失明。我把脸颊从迪肯的胸口抬起，仿佛只要与他接触就会烧掉我的皮肤。
一直在崩溃的边缘看着我的女神，不知何故，当一声哔哔声从墙壁上反弹时，光线充满了我们所在的空间，让我们暂时失明。我把脸颊从迪肯的胸口抬起，仿佛只要与他接触就会烧掉我的皮肤。

Lifting my head to look up at the numbers on the elevator nearly paralyzes me. The numbers are not moving. The lift is not moving.
抬起头看电梯上的数字，我几乎瘫痪了。数字没有移动。电梯没有移动。

“Winter.”
“冬天。”

My lungs clench and Deacon’s concerned eyes do nothing in assuring me things are going to be okay.
我的肺紧缩着，Deacon 关切的眼神无法向我保证一切都会好起来的。
我的肺紧缩着，Deacon 关切的眼神无法向我保证一切都会好起来的。

“The lights are back, meaning things are okay but why isn’t the lift moving?”
“灯又回来了，这意味着一切都很好，但为什么电梯不动呢？”

“It doesn’t work like that”, Deacon tries to explain.
“不是那样的”，Deacon 试图解释。

“I can’t breathe, Deacon. I can’t stay here one more minute or else I’ll die before anyone notices we are trapped in here. We’ll die here. We’ll run out of air or the lift could snap and we would fall to our deaths. I would never get to see…”, I restrain my words with a harsh bite.
“我无法呼吸，执事。我不能在这里多待一分钟，否则我会在任何人注意到我们被困在这里之前就死了。我们会死在这里。我们会耗尽空气，或者电梯会啪啪作响，我们会坠落而死。我永远看不到......”，我用严厉的一口克制住了我的话。
“我无法呼吸，执事。我不能在这里多待一分钟，否则我会在任何人注意到我们被困在这里之前就死了。我们会死在这里。我们会耗尽空气，或者电梯会啪啪作响，我们会坠落而死。我永远看不到......”，我用严厉的一口克制住了我的话。

Rubbing my chest only makes breathing more difficult and I can almost feel my panic attack winning
揉搓我的胸部只会让呼吸更加困难，我几乎可以感觉到我的惊恐发作赢了
揉搓我的胸部只会让呼吸更加困难，我几乎可以感觉到我的惊恐发作赢了

“Fuck, Winter. I’m right here. No one’s dying because I’m here with you. Look at me”, Deacon’s voice hogs my ears and it’s almost sounds like a saving grace
“操，冬天。 我就在这里。 没有人会因为我在这里和你在一起而死去。看着我“，狄肯的声音在我的耳朵里响起，听起来几乎像是一种救命之恩
“操，冬天。 我就在这里。 没有人会因为我在这里和你在一起而死去。看着我“，狄肯的声音在我的耳朵里响起，听起来几乎像是一种救命之恩

I look at him. I look at those dark onyx eyes that are all concerned about me, all lasered on me and my wolf chooses to seek solace in him rather than face this nightmare.
我看着他。我看着那双黑色的缟玛瑙眼睛，它们都关心着我，全都盯着我，我的狼选择在他身上寻求慰藉，而不是面对这场噩梦。

Unlike the naive girl who kissed him like she believed the world was theirs and they were but star crossed lovers blessed the Goddess, the woman who kisses him now does so because she’s scared and he’s the only thing that feels safe.
与那个天真的女孩亲吻他不同，她相信世界是他们的，他们只是星际恋人祝福了女神，而亲吻他的女人现在这样做是因为她害怕，而他是唯一感到安全的东西。

One kiss on Deacon’s lps turns out to be both a nightmare and a curse.
在 Deacon 的 lps 上亲吻结果证明既是噩梦又是诅咒。

Electricity coils in every cell in my body and I’m transported back to his office when he kissed me and I pulled away. I’m transported to that night in the woods when our mate bond first burnt between us and it doesn’t compare to the way it lits up aflame when Deacon snags my waist with one hand pulling me to his body while the other hand fists my hair deepening the kiss.
电流盘绕在我身体的每个细胞中，当他吻我时，我被送回了他的办公室，我拉开了。我被带到了那个在树林里的夜晚，当我们的伴侣纽带第一次在我们之间燃烧时，它无法与它点燃的方式相比，当 Deacon 一只手抓住我的腰，将我拉到他的身体上，另一只手握住我的头发，加深了这个吻。

His lips pry mine open and in no time, our teeths clash, our tongues fight like tortured lovers learning their way back to each other. I tell myself I should stop this but stopping this means facing my nightmare, means pretending that I don’t feel the shock and warmth that pools between my legs threatening to throw me off the edge of a cliff from a single touch.
他的嘴唇撬开了我的嘴唇，很快，我们的牙齿相撞，我们的舌头打架，就像受折磨的恋人一样，学习着回到彼此身边的方法。我告诉自己我应该停止这一切，但停止这一切意味着面对我的噩梦，意味着我假装没有感受到两腿之间积聚的震惊和温暖，这些震惊和温暖有可能因为我的一次触摸就把我从悬崖边扔下来。

The sound of our lips clashing almost rivals my moans as I scratch Deacon’s chest with my nails praying to the Goddess that I leave marks beneath that shirt he’s wearing. I might like this but I might just hurt him to show him this is nothing but a spur of the moment type of thing.
我们嘴唇碰撞的声音几乎与我的呻吟相媲美，我用指甲挠着迪肯的胸膛，向女神祈祷我在他穿的衬衫下面留下痕迹。我可能喜欢这个，但我可能只是伤害他，让他知道这只不过是一时冲动的事情。
我们嘴唇碰撞的声音几乎与我的呻吟相媲美，我用指甲挠着迪肯的胸膛，向女神祈祷我在他穿的衬衫下面留下痕迹。我可能喜欢这个，但我可能只是伤害他，让他知道这只不过是一时冲动的事情。

The boy who made love to me a few years ago is nothing like the man who fists my hair and nips the skin at my neck going all the way down to my blouse and ripping the buttons away with his teeth. The buttons clatter against the ground, my blouse rips open at the front, the sight of my pink bra reflecting in Deacon’s eyes like two shiny beacons.
几年前和我做爱的那个男孩，跟那个用拳头捏我头发，咬我脖子上的皮肤，一直到我的衬衫，用牙齿扯掉纽扣的男人完全不同。纽扣在地上咔嚓作响，我的衬衫从前面撕开，我的粉红色胸罩像两座闪亮的灯塔一样倒映在迪肯的眼睛里。