I was thunderstruck, as you may well imagine. Not Goliath? What could it possibly mean to be not Goliath?
我被雷倒了，你完全可以想象。不是歌利亚？不是歌利亚意味着什么？
It didn’t occur to me to say, “Well, if I’m not Goliath, then who am I?” A human would ask this question, because he would know that, whatever his name, he is assuredly someone. I did not. On the contrary, it seemed to me that if I was not Goliath, then I must be no one at all.
我没有想过说 "好吧，如果我不是歌利亚，那我是谁？"人类会问这个问题，因为他知道，不管他叫什么名字，他肯定是一个人。我却不知道。相反，在我看来，如果我不是歌利亚，那我就根本不是人。
Though this stranger had never laid eyes on me before that day, I didn’t doubt for a moment that he spoke with an unquestionable authority. A thousand others had called me by the name of Goliath -even those who, like the workers at the menagerie, knew me well -but that was clearly not the point, counted for nothing. The stranger hadn’t said, “Your name is not Goliath.” He had said, “You are not Goliath.” There was a world of difference. As I felt it (though I could not have expressed it this way at the time), my awareness of selfhood had been pronounced a delusion.
虽然这个陌生人在那天之前从未见过我，但我丝毫不怀疑他说话的权威性。成千上万的人都叫过我 "歌利亚"，甚至那些像动物园的工人一样熟悉我的人也叫过我 "歌利亚"，但这显然不是重点，毫无意义。陌生人没有说 "你不叫歌利亚"他说的是 "你不是歌利亚"这是天壤之别。正如我所感受到的那样（尽管当时我无法这样表达），我的自我意识被宣布为一种错觉。

I drifted into a sort of fugue state, neither aware nor unconscious. An attendant came round with food, but I ignored him. Night fell, but I didn’t sleep. The rain stopped and the sun rose without my noticing. Soon there were the usual crowds of visitors calling out, “Goliath! Goliath! Goliath!” but I paid no attention.
我陷入了一种迷离的状态，既没有意识也没有知觉。一位服务员拿着食物走了过来，但我没有理睬他。夜幕降临，但我没有入睡。雨停了，太阳在不知不觉中升起。很快，游人如织，"歌利亚！歌利亚！"的呼喊声此起彼伏！歌利亚！歌利亚！歌利亚！"但我没有理会。

Several days passed in this way. Then one evening after the menagerie had closed for the day, I took a long drink from my bowl and soon fell asleep-a powerful sedative had been added to my water. At dawn I awoke in an unfamiliar cage. At first, because it was so large and so strangely shaped, I didn’t even recognize it as a cage. In fact, it was circular, and open to the air on all sides; as I later understood, a gazebo had been modified to serve the purpose. Except for a large white house nearby, it stood alone in the midst of
就这样过了几天。一天傍晚，动物园下班后，我从碗里喝了一大口水，很快就睡着了--水里加了强力镇静剂。黎明时分，我在一个陌生的笼子里醒来。起初，由于笼子太大，形状太奇怪，我甚至认不出这是一个笼子。事实上，笼子是圆形的，四面通风；后来我才知道，这是一个经过改装的凉亭。除了附近的一座白色大房子，它孤零零地矗立在茫茫森林中。
an attractive park that I imagined must extend to the ends of the earth.
一个迷人的公园，我想象它一定延伸到天涯海角。

It was not long before I’d conceived an explanation for this strange translocation: The people who visited the menagerie came, at least in part, with the expectation of seeing a gorilla named Goliath; how they came to have this expectation I could not guess, but they certainly seemed to have it; and when the owner of the menagerie learned that I was in fact not Goliath, he could scarcely go on exhibiting me as such, and so had no real choice but to send me away. I didn’t know whether to be sorry about this or not; my new home was far more pleasant than anything I’d seen since leaving Africa, but without the daily stimulation of the crowds, it would soon become even more excruciatingly boring than the zoo, where at least I’d had the company of other gorillas. I was still pondering these matters when, around midmorning, I looked up and saw that I was not alone. A man was standing just beyond the bars, blackly silhouetted against the sunlit house in the distance. I approached cautiously and was astonished to recognize him.
没过多久，我就想出了这种奇怪的迁移的解释：来动物园参观的人，至少有一部分是期望看到一只名叫 "歌利亚 "的大猩猩；他们怎么会有这样的期望，我无法猜测，但他们似乎确实有这样的期望；当动物园的主人得知我其实不是 "歌利亚 "时，他几乎无法把我当作 "歌利亚 "继续展出，因此别无选择，只能把我送走。我不知道该不该为此感到遗憾；我的新家比我离开非洲后所见过的任何地方都要舒适得多，但没有了人群的日常刺激，它很快就会变得比动物园更无聊，至少在动物园里我还有其他大猩猩陪伴。我还在思考这些问题时，大约中午时分，我抬起头，发现自己并不孤单。栅栏外站着一个人，在远处阳光照耀下的房子里，他的身影黑乎乎的。我小心翼翼地走过去，惊讶地认出了他。

As if reenacting our former encounter, we gazed into each other’s eyes for several minutes, I sitting on the floor of my cage, he leaning on his walking stick. I saw that, dry and freshly dressed, he was not the elderly person I’d first taken him for. His face was long and dark and bony, his eyes burned with a strange intensity, and his mouth seemed set in an expression of bitter mirth. At last he nodded, exactly as before, and said:
我坐在笼子的地板上，他拄着拐杖，仿佛在重演我们曾经的相遇，我们互相凝视了几分钟。我看到，他的衣服干爽、焕然一新，并不是我最初认为的那个老人。他的脸又长又黑，瘦骨嶙峋，眼睛里闪烁着异样的光芒，嘴角似乎挂着苦笑的表情。最后，他点了点头，和以前一模一样，然后说："我知道了：
“Yes, I was right. You are not Goliath. You are Ishmael.”
"是的，我是对的。你不是歌利亚你是以实玛利
Once again, as if everything that mattered was now finally settled, he turned and walked away.
他再次转身离去，仿佛一切都已尘埃落定。

And once again I was thunderstruck-but this time by a feeling of profound relief, for I had been redeemed from oblivion. More, the error that caused me to live as an unwitting impostor for so many years had been corrected at last. I had been made whole as a person -not again but for the very first time.
我再一次如雷贯耳--但这一次，我感到如释重负，因为我从被遗忘的境地中得到了救赎。更重要的是，导致我作为一个不知情的冒名顶替者生活了这么多年的错误终于得到了纠正。我作为一个人变得完整了--不是再次，而是第一次。

I was consumed with curiosity about my savior. I didn’t think to associate him with my removal from the menagerie to this charming belvedere, for I was as yet incapable of even that most primitive of fallacies: post hoc, ergo propter hoc. He was to me a supernal being. To a mind ready for mythology, he was the beginning of what is meant by godlike. He had twice made a brief appearance in my life -and twice, with a single utterance, had transformed me. I tried to search for the underlying meaning of these appearances, but found only questions. Had this man come to the menagerie in search of Goliath or in search of me? Had he come because he hoped I was Goliath or because he suspected I was not Goliath? How had he so promptly found me in my new location? I had no measure of the extent of human information; if it was common knowledge that I could be found at the menagerie (as it had seemed to be), was it also common knowledge that I could now be found here? Despite all these unanswerable questions, the overwhelming fact remained that this uncanny creature had twice sought me out in order to address me in an unprecedented way-as a person. I was certain that, having finally settled the matter of my identity, he would vanish from my life forever; what more was there for him to do?
我对我的救世主充满了好奇。我没想过把他和我从动物园搬到这个迷人的美景阁联系起来，因为我还不懂得最原始的谬论："事后诸葛亮"（post hoc, ergo propter hoc）。对我来说，他是一个超凡的存在。对我这个喜欢神话的人来说，他就是神的开端。他曾两次短暂地出现在我的生命中--两次只说了一句话，就改变了我。我试图寻找这些出现的深层含义，但发现只有疑问。这个人来动物园是为了寻找歌利亚，还是为了寻找我？他是希望我是歌利亚，还是怀疑我不是歌利亚？他是如何如此迅速地在我的新家找到我的？我不知道人类的信息量有多大；如果说在动物园里能找到我是众所周知的（似乎是这样），那么现在在这里也能找到我，这也是众所周知的吗？尽管有这些无法回答的问题，但一个压倒性的事实是，这个不可思议的生物两次找到我，是为了以一种前所未有的方式称呼我--作为一个人。我确信，在最终解决了我的身份问题之后，他将永远从我的生活中消失；他还能做什么呢？

Doubtless you will have surmised that all these breathless apperceptions were just so much moonshine. Nonetheless the truth (as I later learned it) was not much less fantastic.
毫无疑问，你们一定会猜测，所有这些令人屏息凝神的想象都不过是一派胡言罢了。尽管如此，事实（我后来了解到的）并不像想象的那么梦幻。
My benefactor was a wealthy Jewish merchant of this city, a man by the name of Walter Sokolow. On the day he discovered me at the menagerie, he’d been out walking in the rain, in a kind of suicidal gloom that had descended on him a few months before, when he learned beyond any doubt that his entire family had been swallowed up in the Nazi holocaust. His wanderings led him to a carnival set up at the edge of town, and he went in with nothing in particular on his mind. Because of the rain, most of the booths and rides were shut down, giving the place an air of abandonment that accorded well with his melancholy. At last he came to the menagerie, whose chief attractions were advertised in a series of lurid paintings. One
我的恩人是本市一位富有的犹太商人，名叫沃尔特-索科洛。他在动物园发现我的那天，他在雨中漫步，陷入了一种自杀式的阴郁之中，这种阴郁在几个月前降临到他身上，当时他毫无疑问地得知，他的整个家族都在纳粹大屠杀中被吞噬了。他漫无目的地来到镇子边上的一个嘉年华会。由于下雨，大部分摊位和游乐设施都关闭了，给人一种被遗弃的感觉，这与他的忧郁很相称。最后，他来到了动物园，这里的主要景点都用一系列淫秽的画作做了宣传。其中一幅
of these, more lurid than the rest, depicted the gorilla Goliath brandishing the broken body of an African native as if it were a weapon. Walter Sokolow, perhaps thinking that a gorilla named Goliath was an apt symbol for the Nazi giant that was then engaged in crushing the race of David, decided it would be satisfying to behold such a monster behind bars.
其中一幅作品比其他作品更加荒诞，描绘的是大猩猩歌利亚挥舞着非洲人残破的身体，仿佛那是一件武器。沃尔特-索科洛也许认为大猩猩 "歌利亚 "是纳粹巨人的恰当象征，而纳粹巨人当时正在碾压大卫的种族，因此他决定把这样一个怪物关进监狱，让他看看也是一种满足。

He went in, approached my wagon, and by gazing into my eyes, soon realized that I was no relation to the bloodthirsty monster in the painting-and indeed no relation to the Philistine tormentor of his race. He found it gave him no satisfaction whatever to see me behind bars. On the contrary, in a quixotic gesture of guilt and defiance, he decided to rescue me from my cage and fashion me into a dreadful substitute for the family he had failed to rescue from the cage of Europe. The owner of the menagerie was agreeable to a sale; he was even glad to let Mr. Sokolow hire away a handler who had looked after me since my arrival. The owner was a realist; with America’s inevitable entrance into the war, traveling shows like his were either going to spend the duration in winter quarters or simply become extinct.
他走进去，走近我的马车，凝视着我的眼睛，很快就意识到，我和画中那个嗜血的怪物没有任何关系，和那个折磨他的种族的非利士人也没有任何关系。他发现，看到我身陷囹圄，他一点也不感到满足。相反，为了表示内疚和蔑视，他决定把我从笼子里救出来，把我塑造成一个可怕的替代品，代替他没能从欧洲的笼子里救出来的家人。动物园的主人同意把我卖掉；他甚至很高兴让索科洛夫先生雇走了一个驯兽师，自从我来到这里，他就一直在照顾我。动物园主人是个现实主义者；随着美国不可避免地加入战争，像他这样的巡回展览要么会在冬季逗留一段时间，要么就会消失。

After letting me settle in for a day in my new surroundings, Mr. Sokolow returned to begin to make my acquaintance. He wanted the handler to show him how everything was done, from mixing my feed to cleaning my cage. He asked him if he thought I was dangerous. The handler said I was like a piece of heavy machinerydangerous not by disposition but by dint of sheer size and power.
让我在新环境中安顿了一天后，索科洛夫先生回来开始和我熟悉起来。他想让饲养员向他展示一切是如何进行的，从混合饲料到清理笼子。他问饲养员是否认为我很危险。驯兽师说我就像一台重型机械，危险不是因为我的性格，而是因为我的体型和力量。
After an hour or so, Mr. Sokolow sent him away, and we gazed at each other in a long silence as we had already done twice before. Finally-reluctantly, as if surmounting some daunting interior barrier-he began to speak to me, not in the jocular way of visitors to the menagerie but rather as one speaks to the wind or to the waves crashing on a beach, uttering that which must be said but which must not be heard by anyone. As he poured out his sorrows and self-recriminations, he gradually forgot the need for caution. By
过了一个多小时，索科洛夫先生把他打发走了，我们就像以前两次一样，长时间地默默注视着对方。最后--勉强地，好像在克服某种令人生畏的内心障碍--他开始对我说话，不是以动物园游客的戏谑方式，而是像对风说话或对拍打在沙滩上的海浪说话那样，说出那些必须说但又不能让任何人听到的话。当他倾诉自己的悲伤和自责时，他逐渐忘记了谨慎的必要性。通过
the time an hour had passed, he was propped up against my cage with a hand wrapped around a bar. He was looking at the ground, lost in thought, and I used this opportunity to express my sympathy, reaching out and gently stroking the knuckles of his hand. He leaped back, startled and horrified, but a search of my eyes reassured him that my gesture was as innocent of menace as it seemed.
一个小时过去了，他用一只手缠绕着一根铁杆，支撑着我的笼子。他望着地面，陷入了沉思，我借此机会表达了我的同情，伸出手轻轻地抚摸着他的手关节。他吓了一跳，惊恐地向后退去，但我的眼神让他放心了，我的举动并不像看上去那样具有威胁性。

Alerted by this experience, he began to suspect that I possessed real intelligence, and a few simple tests were enough to convince him of this. Having proved that I understood his words, he leaped to the conclusion (as others were later to do in working with other primates) that I should be able to produce some of my own. In short, he decided to teach me to talk. I will pass over the painful and humiliating months that followed. Neither one of us understood that the difficulty was unsurmountable, owing to a lack of basic phonic equipment on my part. In the absence of that understanding, we both labored on under the impression that the knack would someday magically manifest itself in me if we persevered. But at last there came a day when I couldn’t go on, and in my anguish at not being able to tell him this, I thought him this, with all the mental power I possessed. He was stunned-as was I when I saw that he’d heard my mental cry.
有了这次经历的提醒，他开始怀疑我拥有真正的智慧，几个简单的测试就足以让他相信这一点。在证明了我能听懂他的话之后，他得出结论（就像其他人后来在与其他灵长类动物合作时所得出的结论一样），我应该能说出一些自己的话。简而言之，他决定教我说话。我将一笔带过随后几个月痛苦而屈辱的日子。我们都不明白，由于我缺乏基本的语音设备，困难是无法克服的。在缺乏这种认识的情况下，我们都以为只要坚持不懈，我总有一天会神奇地掌握诀窍。但终于有一天，我坚持不下去了，在无法告诉他这件事的痛苦中，我用尽所有的精神力量，把这件事告诉了他。他惊呆了，我也惊呆了，因为我看到他听到了我的心灵呼唤。

I won’t burden you with all the steps of our progress once full communication was established between us, since they are easily imagined, I believe. Over the next decade, he taught me all he knew of the world and the universe and human history, and when my questions went beyond his knowledge, we studied side by side. And when my studies carried me beyond his own interests at last, he cheerfully became my research assistant, tracking down books and information in places that were of course beyond my reach.
在我们之间建立了充分的交流之后，我就不再赘述我们之间的所有进展步骤了，因为我相信这些步骤很容易想象得到。在接下来的十年里，他向我传授了他所知道的关于世界、宇宙和人类历史的一切，当我的问题超出了他的知识范围时，我们就并肩研究。当我的研究终于超出了他自己的兴趣范围时，他欣然成为我的研究助手，在我无法到达的地方寻找书籍和资料。

With the new interest of my education to absorb his attention, my benefactor soon forgot to torment himself with remorse and so gradually recovered from his gloom. By the early sixties I was like a houseguest who needed very little attention from his host, so Mr. Sokolow began to allow himself to be rediscovered in social circles, with the not-unpredictable result that he soon found himself in the
我的恩人对我的教育产生了新的兴趣，吸引了他的注意力，他很快就忘记了悔恨的煎熬，逐渐从忧郁中恢复过来。到了六十年代初，我就像一个很少需要主人关心的客人，于是索科洛夫先生开始让自己在社交圈中被重新发现，结果不出所料，他很快发现自己在
hands of a young woman of forty who saw no reason why he could not be made into a satisfactory sort of husband. In fact, he was not at all averse to marriage, but he made a terrible mistake in anticipation of it: He decided that our special relationship should be kept a secret from his wife. It was not an extraordinary decision for those times, and I was not sufficiently experienced in such matters to recognize it for the error it was.
一个四十岁的年轻女人认为他没有理由不成为一个令人满意的丈夫。事实上，他一点也不排斥婚姻，但他在期待婚姻的过程中犯了一个可怕的错误：他决定对他的妻子隐瞒我们之间的特殊关系。在那个时代，这并不是一个特别的决定，而我在这方面的经验不足，没有认识到这是一个错误。
I moved back into the gazebo as soon as it had been renovated to accommodate the civilized habits I’d acquired. From the first, however, Mrs. Sokolow viewed me as a peculiar and alarming pet and began agitating for my speedy removal or disposal. Luckily, my benefactor was used to having his own way and made it clear that no amount of pleading or coercion would change the situation he’d created for me.
为了适应我养成的文明习惯，凉亭一翻新，我就搬回了凉亭。然而，从一开始，索科洛夫夫人就把我当成了一只奇特而令人担忧的宠物，开始催促我尽快搬走或处理掉。幸运的是，我的恩人习惯了我行我素，他明确表示，无论如何恳求或强迫，都无法改变他为我造成的局面。
A few months after the wedding, he dropped in to tell me that his wife, like Abraham’s Sarah, was soon going to present him with a child of his old age.
婚后几个月，他突然来告诉我，他的妻子就像亚伯拉罕的撒拉一样，很快就要为他生下一个晚年的孩子了。
“I anticipated nothing like this when I named you Ishmael,” he told me. “But rest assured that I won’t let her cast you out of my house the way Sarah cast your namesake out of Abraham’s house.” Nevertheless, it amused him to say that, if it was a boy, he would name him Isaac. As matters turned out, however, it was a girl, and they named her Rachel.
"当我给你起名叫以实玛利的时候 我没有想到会是这样" 他告诉我"但请放心，我不会让她把你赶出家门 就像萨拉把和你同名的人赶出亚伯拉罕家一样"尽管如此，他还是很开心地说，如果是个男孩，他会给他起名叫以撒。然而，结果却是一个女孩，他们给她取名拉结。

At that, Ishmael paused for so long, with his eyes closed, that I began to wonder if he’d fallen asleep. But at last he went on.
说到这里，伊斯梅尔闭着眼睛停顿了很久，我开始怀疑他是不是睡着了。但最后他还是继续说了下去。
"Wisely or foolishly, my benefactor decided that I would be the girl’s mentor, and (wisely or foolishly) I was delighted to have a chance to please him in this way. In her father’s arms, Rachel spent nearly as much time with me as with her mother-which of course did nothing to improve my standing with that person. Because I was able to speak to her in a language more direct than speech, I could soothe and amuse her when others failed, and a bond gradually developed between us that might be likened to the one that exists between identical twins-except that I was brother, pet, tutor, and nurse all rolled into one.
"不知是明智还是愚蠢，我的恩人决定让我做这个女孩的导师，（不知是明智还是愚蠢）我很高兴有机会以这种方式取悦他。在父亲的怀抱里，蕾切尔和我在一起的时间几乎和和她母亲在一起的时间一样多--当然，这并没有提高我在她母亲心目中的地位。因为我能用比说话更直接的语言和她交流，所以我能在别人失败的时候安抚她、逗她开心，我们之间逐渐建立起了一种纽带，这种纽带可以比作同卵双胞胎之间的纽带--只不过我集兄弟、宠物、家教和护士于一身。
"Mrs. Sokolow looked forward to the day when Rachel would begin school, for then new interests would make her a stranger to me. When this result didn’t occur, she renewed her campaign to have me sent away, predicting that my presence would stunt the child’s social growth. Her social growth remained unstunted, however, even though she skipped no fewer than three grades in elementary school and one grade in high school; she had a master’s degree in biology before her twentieth birthday. Nonetheless, after so many years of being thwarted in a matter that pertained to the management of her own home, Mrs. Sokolow no longer needed any particular reason to wish me gone.
"索科洛夫夫人期待着蕾切尔开始上学的那一天，因为到那时，新的兴趣爱好会让她与我形同陌路。当这一结果没有出现时，她又开始了把我送走的运动，预言我的存在会阻碍孩子的社交成长。然而，她的社会成长并没有受到阻碍，尽管她在小学跳了不少于三个年级，在高中跳了一个年级；她在 20 岁生日之前就获得了生物学硕士学位。尽管如此，经过这么多年在管理自己家的问题上受挫之后，索科洛夫夫人再也不需要什么特别的理由来希望我离开了。
“On the death of my benefactor in 1985, Rachel herself became my protector. There was no question of my remaining in the gazebo. Using funds provided for this purpose in her father’s will, Rachel moved me to a retreat that had been prepared in advance.”
"1985年我的恩人去世后，瑞秋就成了我的保护人。我不可能再留在凉亭里了。瑞秋利用她父亲遗嘱中为此目的提供的资金，把我转移到了事先准备好的疗养地"。

Once again Ishmael fell silent for several minutes. Then he went on: "In the years that followed, nothing worked out as it had been
以实玛利再次沉默了几分钟。然后他继续说道"在随后的岁月里，一切都不尽如人意
planned or hoped for. I found I was not content to ‘retreat’ having spent a lifetime in retreat, I now wanted somehow to advance into the very center of your culture, and I proceeded to exhaust my new protector’s patience by trying one bothersome arrangement after another to achieve this end. At the same time, Mrs. Sokolow was not content to leave things as they were and persuaded a court to cut in half the funds that had been allocated to my support for life.
我发现自己并不满足于 "退隐"。我发现自己已经不满足于 "退隐 "了，我已经在退隐中度过了一生，我现在想以某种方式进入你们文化的中心，为了达到这个目的，我尝试了一个又一个令人烦恼的安排，耗尽了我的新保护人的耐心。与此同时，索科洛夫夫人并不满足于现状，她说服法院将拨给我的生活费减半。
“It was not until 1989 that things came clear at last. In that year I finally comprehended that my unfulfilled vocation was to teachand finally devised a system that would enable me to exist in tolerable circumstances in this city.”
"直到 1989 年，事情才最终明朗起来。在那一年，我终于明白，我未完成的使命就是教书，并最终设计了一个系统，使我能够在这个城市的环境中生存下去"。

He nodded to let me know this was the end of his story-or was as much of it as he meant to tell.
他点点头，让我知道他的故事到此结束--或者说，他想讲的故事已经讲完了。

There are times when having too much to say can be as dumbfounding as having too little. I could think of no way to respond adequately or gracefully to such a tale. Finally I asked a question that seemed no more or less inane than the dozens of others that occurred to me.
有时候，说得太多和说得太少一样，都会让人哑口无言。对于这样的故事，我想不出任何适当或优雅的回应方式。最后，我问了一个问题，这个问题和我想到的其他几十个问题一样，似乎都很无厘头。
“And have you had many pupils?”
"你有很多学生吗？"
“I’ve had four, and failed with all four.”
"我做过四次，都失败了"
“Oh. Why did you fail?”
"哦，你为什么失败了？"
He closed his eyes to think for a moment. “I failed because I underestimated the difficulty of what I was trying to teach-and because I didn’t understand the minds of my pupils well enough.”
他闭上眼睛思考了一会儿。"我失败了，因为我低估了我要教的东西的难度，也因为我不够了解我的学生的想法。"
“I see,” I said. “And what do you teach?”
"我明白了，"我说。"那你教什么呢？"
Ishmael selected a fresh branch from a pile at his right, examined it briefly, then began to nibble at it, gazing languidly into my eyes. At last he said, “On the basis of my history, what subject would you say I was best qualified to teach?”
伊斯梅尔从他右边的一堆树枝中挑选了一根新鲜的树枝，简单地检查了一下，然后开始啃树枝，慵懒地注视着我的眼睛。最后他说："根据我的历史，你觉得我最有资格教什么科目？"

I blinked and told him I didn’t know.
我眨了眨眼睛，告诉他我不知道。
“Of course you do. My subject is: captivity. '”'Captivity."
"你当然知道。我的主题是：俘虏。俘虏
“That’s correct.” "没错"
I sat there for a minute, then I said, “I’m trying to figure out what this has to do with saving the world.”
我坐了一会儿，然后说："我在想这和拯救世界有什么关系？"

Ishmael thought for a moment. “Among the people of your culture, which want to destroy the world?”
伊斯梅尔想了一会儿。"在你们的文化中，有哪些人想要毁灭世界？"
“Which want to destroy it? As far as I know, no one specifically wants to destroy the world.”
"哪个想毁灭世界？据我所知，没有人特别想毁灭世界。"
“And yet you do destroy it, each of you. Each of you contributes daily to the destruction of the world.”
"然而你们每个人都在毁灭它你们每个人每天都在为世界的毁灭做贡献"。
“Yes, that’s so.” "是的，就是这样"
“Why don’t you stop?” "你为什么不停下来？"
I shrugged. “Frankly, we don’t know how.”
我耸耸肩"老实说，我们也不知道怎么做。"
“You’re captives of a civilizational system that more or less compels you to go on destroying the world in order to live.”
"你们是一个文明体系的俘虏" "这个文明体系或多或少地迫使你们为了生存而继续毁灭世界"
“Yes, that’s the way it seems.”
"是的，看起来就是这样"
“So. You are captives-and you have made a captive of the world itself. That’s what’s at stake, isn’t it?-your captivity and the captivity of the world.”
"所以，你们是俘虏，你们俘虏了世界本身。这才是关键所在，不是吗？
“Yes, that’s so. I’ve just never thought of it that way.”
"是的，就是这样。我只是从没这么想过。"
“And you yourself are a captive in a personal way, are you not?”
"而你自己也是个人的俘虏，不是吗？"
“How so?” "怎么说？"
Ishmael smiled, revealing a great mass of ivory-colored teeth. I hadn’t known he could, until then.
伊斯梅尔笑了，露出一大堆象牙色的牙齿。在那之前，我不知道他还会笑。

I said: “I have an impression of being a captive, but I can’t explain why I have this impression.”
我说"我有一种被俘虏的感觉 但我无法解释为什么会有这种感觉"
“A few years ago-you must have been a child at the time, so you may not remember it-many young people of this country had the same impression. They made an ingenuous and disorganized effort to escape from captivity but ultimately failed, because they were unable to find the bars of the cage. If you can’t discover what’s keeping you in, the will to get out soon becomes confused and ineffectual.”
"几年前--你当时一定还是个孩子，所以可能不记得了--这个国家的许多年轻人都有过同样的印象。他们巧妙而无序地努力逃离囚笼，但最终失败了，因为他们找不到笼子的栅栏。如果你不能发现是什么把你关在里面，想出来的意愿很快就会变得混乱和无效"。
“Yes, that’s the sense I have of it.”
"是的，我是这么认为的"
Ishmael nodded. 伊斯梅尔点了点头。
“But again, how does this relate to saving the world?”
"但再说一遍，这和拯救世界有什么关系？"
“The world is not going to survive for very much longer as humanity’s captive. Does that need explication?”
"作为人类的俘虏，这个世界已经活不长了。这还需要解释吗？"
“No. At least not to me.”
"不，至少对我不是"
“I think there are many among you who would be glad to release the world from captivity.”
"我想你们当中有很多人 都乐意让世界摆脱囚禁"
“I agree.” "我同意"
“What prevents them from doing this?” “I don’t know.”
"是什么阻止了他们这么做？""我不知道"
“This is what prevents them: They’re unable to find the bars of the cage.”
"这就是阻止他们的原因他们找不到笼子的栅栏"
“Yes,” I said. “I see.” Then: “What do we do next?”
"是的，"我说"我明白了"然后"接下来我们该怎么办？"
Ishmael smiled again. “Since I have told you a story that explains how I come to be here, perhaps you will do the same.”
伊斯梅尔又笑了。"既然我已经给你讲了一个故事，解释了我是如何来到这里的，也许你也会这么做。"
“What do you mean?” "你是什么意思？"
“I mean, perhaps you will tell me a story that explains how you come to be here.”
"我的意思是，也许你会告诉我一个故事 来解释你是如何来到这里的"
“Ah,” I said. “Give me a moment.”
"啊" 我说"给我点时间"
“You may have any number of moments,” he replied gravely.
"他严肃地回答道："你有的是时间。

“Once when I was in college,” I told him at last, "I wrote a paper for a philosophy class. I don’t remember exactly what the assignment was-something to do with epistemology. Here’s what I said in the paper, roughly: Guess what? The Nazis didn’t lose the war after all. They won it and flourished. They took over the world and wiped out every last Jew, every last Gypsy, black, East Indian, and American Indian. Then, when they were finished with that, they wiped out the Russians and the Poles and the Bohemians and the Moravians and the Bulgarians and the Serbians and the Croatians-all the Slavs. Then they started in on the Polynesians and the Koreans and the Chinese and the Japanese-all the peoples of Asia. This took a long, long time, but when it was all over, everyone in the world was one hundred percent Aryan, and they were all very, very happy.
"上大学时，"我最后告诉他，"我为哲学课写过一篇论文。我不记得作业的具体内容了，大概是关于认识论的。我在论文中大致是这么说的：你猜怎么着？纳粹终究没有输掉战争。他们赢得了战争，并蓬勃发展。他们占领了世界，消灭了所有犹太人、吉普赛人、黑人、东印第安人和美洲印第安人。然后，他们消灭了俄国人、波兰人、波希米亚人、摩拉维亚人、保加利亚人、塞尔维亚人和克罗地亚人--所有斯拉夫人。然后，他们开始消灭波利尼西亚人、朝鲜人、中国人和日本人--所有亚洲人。这花了很长很长的时间，但当一切结束时，世界上的每个人都是百分之百的雅利安人，他们都非常非常高兴。
"Naturally the textbooks used in the schools no longer mentioned any race but the Aryan or any language but German or any religion but Hitlerism or any political system but National Socialism. There would have been no point. After a few generations of that, no one could have put anything different into the textbooks even if they’d wanted to, because they didn’t know anything different.
"当然，学校使用的教科书不再提及任何种族，只提及雅利安人；不再提及任何语言，只提及德语；不再提及任何宗教，只提及希特勒主义；不再提及任何政治制度，只提及国家社会主义。这样做毫无意义。经过几代人的努力，即使有人想把不同的东西写进教科书，他们也做不到，因为他们不知道有什么不同。
"But one day two young students were conversing at the University of New Heidelberg in Tokyo. Both were handsome in the usual Aryan way, but one of them looked vaguely worried and unhappy. That was Kurt. His friend said, ‘What’s wrong, Kurt? Why are you always moping around like this?’ Kurt said, ‘I’ll tell you, Hans. There is something that’s troubling me-and troubling me deeply.’ His friend asked what it was. ‘It’s this,’ Kurt said. ‘I can’t shake the crazy feeling that there is some small thing that we’re being lied to about.’
"但有一天，东京新海德堡大学里有两个年轻学生在交谈。两个人都是雅利安人特有的英俊潇洒，但其中一个看起来隐隐有些忧虑和不开心。他就是库尔特。他的朋友说："怎么了，库尔特？你为什么总是这样闷闷不乐？库尔特说：'我来告诉你，汉斯。'库尔特说：'我告诉你，汉斯，有件事困扰着我，而且困扰得很深。'他的朋友问是什么事。库尔特说：'是这样的。'我无法摆脱一种疯狂的感觉，那就是有一件小事我们被骗了。
“And that’s how the paper ended.”
"报纸就这样结束了"

Ishmael nodded thoughtfully. “And what did your teacher think of that?”
伊斯梅尔若有所思地点了点头。"那你的老师是怎么想的呢？"
“He wanted to know if I had the same crazy feeling as Kurt. When I said I did, he wanted to know what I thought we were being lied to about. I said, ‘How could I know? I’m no better off than Kurt.’ Of course, he didn’t think I was being serious. He assumed it was just an exercise in epistemology.”
"他想知道我是否有和库尔特一样疯狂的感觉。当我说有时，他想知道我觉得我们被骗了什么。我说：'我怎么知道？我不比库尔特好到哪里去。当然，他不认为我是认真的。他以为这只是认识论的练习。"
“And do you still wonder if you’ve been lied to?”
"你还会怀疑自己被骗了吗？"
“Yes, but not as desperately as I did then.”
"是的，但不像当时那么拼命"
“Not as desperately? Why is that?”
"没有那么拼命？为什么会这样？"
“Because I’ve found out that, as a practical matter, it doesn’t make any difference. Whether we’re being lied to or not, we still have to get up and go to work and pay the bills and all the rest.”
"因为我发现，实际上，这并没有什么区别。不管我们是不是被骗了，我们还是得起床上班，付账单和其他一切。"
“Unless, of course, you all began to suspect you were being lied to -and all found out what the lie was.”
"当然，除非你们都开始怀疑自己被骗了--而且都发现了谎言是什么"。
“What do you mean?” "你是什么意思？"
“If you alone found out what the lie was, then you’re probably right-it would make no great difference. But if you all found out what the lie was, it might conceivably make a very great difference indeed.”
"如果只有你一个人发现了谎言，那么你可能是对的--不会有什么大的区别。但如果你们所有人都发现了谎言的真相，那么可以想象，这的确会带来很大的不同。"
“True.” "没错"
“Then that is what we must hope for.”
"那这就是我们的希望"
I started to ask him what he meant by that, but he held up a leathery black hand and told me: “Tomorrow.”
我刚想问他这是什么意思 但他举起一只皮质的黑手告诉我："明天"

That evening I went for a walk. To walk for the sake of walking is something I seldom do. Inside my apartment I’d felt inexplicably anxious. I needed to talk to someone, to be reassured. Or perhaps I needed to confess my sin: I was once again having impure thoughts about saving the world. Or it was neither of these -I was afraid I was dreaming. Indeed, considering the events of the day, it was likely that I was dreaming. I sometimes fly in my dreams, and each time I say to myself, “At last-it’s happening in reality and not in a dream!”
那天晚上，我出去散步。我很少为了散步而散步。在公寓里，我感到莫名的焦虑。我需要找人倾诉，需要得到安慰。或者，我需要忏悔我的罪过：我又一次产生了拯救世界的邪恶念头。或者这两者都不是--我害怕自己是在做梦。事实上，考虑到今天发生的事情，我很可能是在做梦。我有时会在梦中飞翔，每次我都会对自己说："终于--这是在现实中发生的，而不是在梦中！"

In any case, I needed to talk to someone, and I was alone. This is my habitual condition, by choice-or so I tell myself. Mere acquaintanceship leaves me unsatisfied, and few people are willing to accept the burdens and risks of friendship as I conceive of it.
无论如何，我需要找人倾诉，而我是一个人。这是我的习惯，是我自己选择的--我是这么告诉自己的。单纯的熟人关系让我不满足，很少有人愿意接受我所理解的友谊的负担和风险。

People say that I’m sour and misanthropic, and I tell them they’re probably right. Argument of any sort, on any subject, has always seemed like a waste of time to me.
人们说我尖酸刻薄，愤世嫉俗，我告诉他们，他们可能是对的。对我来说，任何主题的争论都是浪费时间。

The next morning I woke and thought: “Even so, it could be a dream. One can sleep in a dream, even have dreams in a dream.” As I went through the motions of making breakfast, eating, and washing up, my heart was pounding furiously. It seemed to be saying, “How can you pretend not to be terrified?”
第二天早上醒来，我想"即便如此，这也可能是一场梦人可以在梦中入睡，甚至在梦中做梦"。在我做早餐、吃饭和洗漱的过程中，我的心怦怦直跳。它似乎在说："你怎么能假装不害怕呢？"

The time passed. I drove downtown. The building was still there. The office at the end of the hall on the ground floor was still there and still unlocked.
时间一分一秒地过去。我驱车前往市中心。大楼还在。一楼大厅尽头的办公室还在，而且没有上锁。

When I opened the door, Ishmael’s huge, meaty aroma came down on me like a thunderclap. On wobbly legs, I walked to the chair and sat down.
当我打开门时，伊斯梅尔那巨大的、肉乎乎的香气像一声惊雷向我扑来。我摇摇晃晃地走到椅子旁坐下。

Ishmael studied me gravely through the dark glass, as if wondering if I was strong enough to be taxed with serious conversation. When he made up his mind, he began without
伊斯梅尔透过黑玻璃严肃地看着我，似乎在想我是否有足够的体力来应付严肃的谈话。当他下定决心时，他开始不
preamble of any kind, and I came to know that this was his usual style.
我知道这是他的一贯风格。

TWO 两个
“Oddly enough,” he said, “it was my benefactor who awakened my interest in the subject of captivity and not my own condition. As I may have indicated in yesterday’s narrative, he was obsessed by the events then taking place in Nazi Germany.”
"他说："说来也怪，是我的恩人唤起了我对囚禁这一主题的兴趣，而不是我自己的状况。正如我在昨天的叙述中所说，他对当时发生在纳粹德国的事件非常着迷"。
“Yes, that’s what I gathered.”
"是的，我就是这么想的。"
“From your story about Kurt and Hans yesterday, I take it that you’re a student of the life and times of the German people under Adolf Hitler.”
"从你昨天讲述库尔特和汉斯的故事来看" "我认为你是一个了解阿道夫-希特勒统治下 德国人民生活和时代的学生"
“A student? No, I wouldn’t go as far as that. I’ve read some of the well-known books-Speer’s memoirs, Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, and so on-and a few studies of Hitler.”
"学生？不，我还没到那种程度。我读过一些著名的书，如《希特勒回忆录》、《第三帝国的兴衰》等，还读过一些关于希特勒的研究。
“In that case, I’m sure you understand what Mr. Sokolow was at pains to show me: that it was not only the Jews who were captives under Hitler. The entire German nation was a captive, including his enthusiastic supporters. Some detested what he was doing, some just shambled on as best they could, and some positively thrived on itbut they were all his captives.”
"在这种情况下，我相信你会理解索科洛夫先生不厌其烦地向我展示的东西：在希特勒统治下被俘虏的不仅仅是犹太人。整个德意志民族都是俘虏，包括他的热情支持者。"有些人憎恨他的所作所为， 有些人只是尽其所能地苟延残喘， 有些人则积极地以此为乐， 但他们都是他的俘虏。"
“I think I see what you mean.”
"我想我明白你的意思了"
“What was it that held them captive?”
"是什么俘虏了他们？"
“Well … terror, I suppose.”
"嗯......恐怖吧。"
Ishmael shook his head. “You must have seen films of the prewar rallies, with hundreds of thousands of them singing and cheering as one. It wasn’t terror that brought them to those feasts of unity and power.”
伊斯梅尔摇了摇头。"你一定看过战前集会的电影，成千上万的人齐声高唱，欢呼雀跃。让他们参加这些团结和力量盛宴的并不是恐怖。"
“True. Then I’d have to say it was Hitler’s charisma.”
"没错那我不得不说是希特勒的魅力。"
“He certainly had that. But charisma only wins people’s attention. Once you have their attention, you have to have something to tell them. And what did Hitler have to tell the German people?”
"他当然有这种魅力。但魅力只能赢得人们的注意。一旦你吸引了他们的注意力，你就必须有东西要告诉他们。希特勒要告诉德国人民什么呢？"

I pondered this for a few moments without any real conviction. “Apart from the Jewish business, I don’t think I could answer that question.”
我思索了片刻，没有任何真正的说服力。"除了犹太人的事，我想我无法回答这个问题。"
“What he had to tell them was a story.”
"他要告诉他们的是一个故事"
“A story.” "一个故事"
“A story in which the Aryan race and the people of Germany in particular had been deprived of their rightful place in the world, bound, spat upon, raped, and ground into the dirt under the heels of mongrel races, Communists, and Jews. A story in which, under the leadership of Adolf Hitler, the Aryan race would burst its bonds, wreak vengeance on its oppressors, purify mankind of its defilements, and assume its rightful place as the master of all races.”
"在这个故事中，雅利安人，特别是德国人民被剥夺了他们在世界上应有的地位，被杂种、共产主义者和犹太人捆绑、唾弃、强奸，并被踩在脚下。在这个故事中，在阿道夫-希特勒的领导下，雅利安种族将冲破束缚，向压迫者复仇，净化人类的污垢，并取得其作为所有种族主人的合法地位"。
“True.” "没错"
“It may seem incredible to you now that any people could have been captivated by such nonsense, but after nearly two decades of degradation and suffering following World War I, it had an almost overwhelming appeal to the people of Germany, and it was reinforced not only through the ordinary means of propaganda but by an intensive program of education of the young and reeducation of the old.”
"你们现在可能会觉得不可思议，居然会有人被这种胡言乱语所迷惑，但在经历了第一次世界大战后近二十年的堕落和苦难之后，它对德国人民几乎具有压倒性的吸引力，而且它不仅通过普通的宣传手段，还通过对年轻人的强化教育和对老年人的再教育计划得到了加强"。
“True.” "没错"
“As I say, there were many in Germany who recognized this story as rank mythology. They were nevertheless held captive by it simply because the vast majority around them thought it sounded wonderful and were willing to give their lives to make it a reality. Do you see what I mean?”
"正如我所说，在德国，有许多人认为这个故事是等级神话。但他们还是被它俘虏了，只因为他们周围的绝大多数人都认为这听起来很美好，并愿意用自己的生命来实现它。你明白我的意思吗？"
“I think so. Even if you weren’t personally captivated by the story, you were a captive all the same, because the people around you made you a captive. You were like an animal being swept along in the middle of a stampede.”
"我想是的。即使你本人没有被故事吸引，你也是一个俘虏，因为你周围的人让你成为了俘虏。你就像一只动物 被卷进了一场踩踏事件中"
“That’s right. Even if you privately thought the whole thing was madness, you had to play your part, you had to take your place in
"没错即使你私下里认为整件事都是疯狂的，你也必须扮演好自己的角色，你必须在
the story. The only way to avoid that was to escape from Germany entirely.”
的故事。避免这种情况的唯一办法就是完全逃离德国"。
“True.” "没错"
“Do you understand why I’m telling you this?”
"你明白我为什么要告诉你这些吗？"
“I think so, but I’m not sure.”
"我想是的，但我不确定"
“I’m telling you this because the people of your culture are in much the same situation. Like the people of Nazi Germany, they are the captives of a story.”
"我告诉你们这些是因为 你们文化中的人们也处于同样的境地就像纳粹德国的人民一样 他们是故事的俘虏"

I sat there blinking for a while. “I know of no such story,” I told him at last.
我坐在那里眨了一会儿眼睛。"我不知道有这样的故事，"我最后告诉他。
“You mean you’ve never heard of it?”
"你是说你从来没听说过？"
“That’s right.” "没错"
Ishmael nodded. “That’s because there’s no need to hear of it. There’s no need to name it or discuss it. Every one of you knows it by heart by the time you’re six or seven. Black and white, male and female, rich and poor, Christian and Jew, American and Russian, Norwegian and Chinese, you all hear it. And you hear it incessantly, because every medium of propaganda, every medium of education pours it out incessantly. And hearing it incessantly, you don’t listen to it. There’s no need to listen to it. It’s always there humming away in the background, so there’s no need to attend to it at all. In fact, you’ll find-at least initially-that it’s hard to attend to it. It’s like the humming of a distant motor that never stops; it becomes a sound that’s no longer heard at all.”
伊斯梅尔点了点头。"那是因为没有必要听到它。没有必要说出它的名字或讨论它。你们每个人在六七岁的时候就已经熟记于心了。黑人和白人、男性和女性、富人和穷人、基督徒和犹太人、美国人和俄国人、挪威人和中国人，你们都听过。你们不停地听到它，因为每一种宣传媒介、每一种教育媒介都在不停地灌输它。听得多了，也就听不进去了。没必要去听。它总是在背景中嗡嗡作响，所以根本无需理会。事实上，你会发现--至少一开始--很难去关注它。它就像远处马达的嗡嗡声，永不停歇；它变成了一种根本听不到的声音"。
“This is very interesting,” I told him. “But it’s also a little hard to believe.”
"这很有趣，"我对他说"但也有点难以置信"

Ishmael’s eyes closed gently in an indulgent smile. “Belief is not required. Once you know this story, you’ll hear it everywhere in your culture, and you’ll be astonished that the people around you don’t hear it as well but merely take it in.”
伊斯梅尔的眼睛轻轻闭上，露出一个宽容的微笑。"信仰不是必需的。一旦你知道了这个故事，你就会在你的文化中处处听到它，你会惊讶地发现，你周围的人并没有听到它，而只是接受了它。"
“Yesterday you told me you have the impression of being a captive. You have this impression because there is enormous pressure on you to take a place in the story your culture is enacting in the world-any place at all. This pressure is exerted in all sorts of ways, on all sorts of levels, but it’s exerted most basically this way: Those who refuse to take a place do not get fed.”
"昨天你告诉我，你有一种被俘虏的感觉。你之所以会有这种感觉，是因为你面临着巨大的压力，你必须在你的文化在世界上演绎的故事中占有一席之地--无论在什么地方。这种压力以各种方式、在各种层面上施加，但最基本的施加方式是这样的：那些拒绝占有一席之地的人就没有饭吃"。
“Yes, that’s so.” "是的，就是这样"
“A German who couldn’t bring himself to take a place in Hitler’s story had an option: He could leave Germany. You don’t have that option. Anywhere you go in the world, you’ll find the same story being enacted, and if you don’t take a place in it you won’t get fed.”
"一个无法在希特勒的故事中占有一席之地的德国人有一个选择：他可以离开德国你没有这个选择。"无论你走到世界的哪一个角落 你都会发现同样的故事正在上演" "如果你不在其中占据一席之地 你就得不到食物"
“True.” "没错"
“Mother Culture teaches you that this is as it should be. Except for a few thousand savages scattered here and there, all the peoples of the earth are now enacting this story. This is the story man was born to enact, and to depart from it is to resign from the human race itself, is to venture into oblivion. Your place is here, participating in this story, putting your shoulder to the wheel, and as a reward, being fed. There is no ‘something else.’ To step out of this story is to fall off the edge of the world. There’s no way out of it except through death.”
"母亲文化 "教导你们，这本是理所应当的。除了散落在这里和那里的几千个野蛮人，地球上的所有民族现在都在演绎这个故事。这是人类与生俱来要讲述的故事，背离这个故事就等于背离人类本身，等于冒险去遗忘。你的位置就在这里，参与这个故事，肩负重任，作为回报，获得食物。没有'别的东西'。走出这个故事，就意味着从世界的边缘跌落。除了死亡，别无他法"。
“Yes, that’s the way it seems.”
"是的，看起来就是这样"
Ishmael paused to think for a bit. "All this is just a preface to our work. I wanted you to hear it because I wanted you to have at least a vague idea of what you’re getting into here. Once you learn to discern the voice of Mother Culture humming in the background, telling her story over and over again to the people of your culture, you’ll never stop being conscious of it. Wherever you go for the rest of your life, you’ll be tempted to say to the people around you, ‘How can you listen to this stuff and not recognize it for what it is?’ And if
伊斯梅尔停顿了一下，思考了一会儿。"这一切只是我们工作的前奏。我想让你听听，因为我想让你至少对你在这里要做的事情有一个模糊的概念。一旦你学会辨别文化之母在背景中嗡嗡作响的声音，一遍又一遍地向你的文化中的人们讲述她的故事，你将永远不会停止意识到这一点。无论你余生走到哪里，你都会忍不住对周围的人说：'你怎么能听着这些东西却不知道它是什么？如果