I turned 30 last week and a friend asked me if I'd figured out any life advice in the past decade worth passing on. I'm somewhat hesitant to publish this because I think these lists usually seem hollow, but here is a cleaned up version of my answer:
上週我滿了 30 歲,一位朋友問我在過去十年裡是否得出了任何值得傳授的人生建議。我有些猶豫要不要發表這篇文章,因為我覺得這些清單通常顯得空洞,但這裡是我回答的簡化版本:
1) Never put your family, friends, or significant other low on your priority list. Prefer a handful of truly close friends to a hundred acquaintances. Don’t lose touch with old friends. Occasionally stay up until the sun rises talking to people. Have parties.
永遠不要將家人、朋友或重要的另一半放在你的優先順序低處。與一小群真正親近的朋友相比,更喜歡與一百個泛泛之交。不要失去與老朋友的聯繫。偶爾熬夜到太陽升起時與人交談。舉辦派對。
2) Life is not a dress rehearsal—this is probably it. Make it count. Time is extremely limited and goes by fast. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled—few people get remembered hundreds of years after they die anyway. Don’t do stuff that doesn’t make you happy (this happens most often when other people want you to do something). Don’t spend time trying to maintain relationships with people you don’t like, and cut negative people out of your life. Negativity is really bad. Don’t let yourself make excuses for not doing the things you want to do.
生命不是排練,這可能就是現實。把握機會。時間非常有限且流逝迅速。做讓自己快樂和滿足的事情,很少有人死後幾百年還會被人記得。不要做讓自己不快樂的事情(這通常發生在別人想讓你做某事時)。不要浪費時間與不喜歡的人維持關係,切斷負面的人。負面情緒真的很糟糕。不要為自己不去做想做的事情找藉口。
3) How to succeed: pick the right thing to do (this is critical and usually ignored), focus, believe in yourself (especially when others tell you it’s not going to work), develop personal connections with people that will help you, learn to identify talented people, and work hard. It’s hard to identify what to work on because original thought is hard.
3) 如何成功:選擇正確的事情(這是至關重要的,通常被忽略),專注,相信自己(尤其是當其他人告訴你這不會成功時),與能幫助你的人建立個人聯繫,學會識別有才華的人,並努力工作。很難確定要做什麼,因為原創思維很難。
4) On work: it’s difficult to do a great job on work you don’t care about. And it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for your work. Work very hard—a surprising number of people will be offended that you choose to work hard—but not so hard that the rest of your life passes you by. Aim to be the best in the world at whatever you do professionally. Even if you miss, you’ll probably end up in a pretty good place. Figure out your own productivity system—don’t waste time being unorganized, working at suboptimal times, etc. Don’t be afraid to take some career risks, especially early on. Most people pick their career fairly randomly—really think hard about what you like, what fields are going to be successful, and try to talk to people in those fields.
4)關於工作:在你不在乎的工作上做出優秀的表現是困難的。如果你不喜歡自己的工作,要完全快樂 / 滿足於生活也是困難的。努力工作 —— 令人驚訝的是,許多人會對你選擇努力工作感到冒犯 —— 但不要努力到錯過生活的其他部分。努力成為你所從事的專業領域中世界上最優秀的人。即使你失敗了,你可能最終會處於一個相當不錯的位置。找出自己的生產力系統 —— 不要浪費時間不整理,不要在次優化的時間工作等。不要害怕冒一些職業風險,尤其是在早期。大多數人對自己的職業選擇相當隨意 —— 真正深思熟慮你喜歡什麼,哪些領域將會成功,並嘗試與那些領域的人交流。
5) On money: Whether or not money can buy happiness, it can buy freedom, and that’s a big deal. Also, lack of money is very stressful. In almost all ways, having enough money so that you don’t stress about paying rent does more to change your wellbeing than having enough money to buy your own jet. Making money is often more fun than spending it, though I personally have never regretted money I’ve spent on friends, new experiences, saving time, travel, and causes I believe in.
5) 關於金錢:金錢是否能買到幸福尚無定論,但它能買到自由,這是一件重要的事情。同時,缺乏金錢會帶來很大壓力。在幾乎所有方面,擁有足夠的金錢不必為支付房租而感到壓力,對改善你的幸福感比擁有足夠的金錢買私人飛機更為重要。賺錢通常比花錢更有趣,儘管我個人從未後悔花在朋友、新體驗、節省時間、旅行以及我所信仰的事業上的金錢。
6) Talk to people more. Read more long content and less tweets. Watch less TV. Spend less time on the Internet.
6) 與人多交談。閱讀更多長篇內容,少看推文。看電視的時間減少。在網路上花費較少時間。
7) Don’t waste time. Most people waste most of their time, especially in business.
7) 不要浪費時間。大多數人浪費了大部分時間,尤其是在商業上。
8) Don’t let yourself get pushed around. As Paul Graham once said to me, “People can become formidable, but it’s hard to predict who”. (There is a big difference between confident and arrogant. Aim for the former, obviously.)
8) 不要讓自己被推倒。正如保羅・格雷厄姆曾對我說過的那樣,“人們可能變得強大,但很難預測是誰”。(自信和傲慢之間有很大的區別。顯然應該追求前者。)
9) Have clear goals for yourself every day, every year, and every decade.
9) 每天、每年和每十年都要為自己設定明確的目標。
10) However, as valuable as planning is, if a great opportunity comes along you should take it. Don’t be afraid to do something slightly reckless. One of the benefits of working hard is that good opportunities will come along, but it’s still up to you to jump on them when they do.
然而,儘管計劃的重要性不言而喻,但如果有一個絕佳的機會出現,你應該抓住它。不要害怕做一些稍微冒險的事情。努力工作的好處之一是會有好機會出現,但當機會來臨時,仍取決於你是否抓住它們。
11) Go out of your way to be around smart, interesting, ambitious people. Work for them and hire them (in fact, one of the most satisfying parts of work is forging deep relationships with really good people). Try to spend time with people who are either among the best in the world at what they do or extremely promising but totally unknown. It really is true that you become an average of the people you spend the most time with.
盡力與聰明、有趣、有抱負的人在一起。為他們工作並雇用他們(事實上,工作中最令人滿意的部分之一就是與真正優秀的人建立深厚的關係)。試著花時間與那些在自己領域中是世界頂尖或是極具潛力但完全不知名的人在一起。你真的會成為與你花最多時間在一起的人的平均水平。
12) Minimize your own cognitive load from distracting things that don’t really matter. It’s hard to overstate how important this is, and how bad most people are at it. Get rid of distractions in your life. Develop very strong ways to avoid letting crap you don’t like doing pile up and take your mental cycles, especially in your work life.
12) 將自己從那些真的不重要的分心事物中減少認知負荷。這一點有多重要以及大多數人在這方面有多糟糕,很難言喻。擺脫生活中的干擾。發展非常強大的方法,避免讓你不喜歡的事情堆積起來佔據你的心智週期,尤其是在工作生活中。
13) Keep your personal burn rate low. This alone will give you a lot of opportunities in life.
13) 保持個人的消耗率低。這一點將為您在生活中帶來許多機會。
14) Summers are the best.
14) 夏天是最好的。
15) Don’t worry so much. Things in life are rarely as risky as they seem. Most people are too risk-averse, and so most advice is biased too much towards conservative paths.
15) 不要太擔心。生活中的事情很少像看起來那麼危險。大多數人過於避險,因此大多數建議都偏向保守的方向。
16) Ask for what you want.
16) 要求你想要的。
17) If you think you’re going to regret not doing something, you should probably do it. Regret is the worst, and most people regret far more things they didn’t do than things they did do. When in doubt, kiss the boy/girl.
17) 如果你覺得不做某事會後悔,那你可能應該去做。後悔是最糟糕的,大多數人後悔的是他們沒做的事情,而不是做了的事情。當你猶豫不決時,親吻那個男孩 / 女孩。
18) Exercise. Eat well. Sleep. Get out into nature with some regularity.
18) 運動。 飲食均衡。 睡眠充足。 定期到大自然中走走。
19) Go out of your way to help people. Few things in life are as satisfying. Be nice to strangers. Be nice even when it doesn’t matter.
19) 盡力幫助他人。生活中很少事情能帶來如此滿足感。對陌生人友善。即使沒有關係,也要保持友善。
20) Youth is a really great thing. Don’t waste it. In fact, in your 20s, I think it’s ok to take a “Give me financial discipline, but not just yet” attitude. All the money in the world will never get back time that passed you by.
20) 青春是一件非常棒的事情。不要浪費它。事實上,在你的 20 多歲時,我認為採取一種 “給我財務紀律,但還不是時候” 的態度是可以的。世界上所有的錢都無法讓逝去的時間回來。
21) Tell your parents you love them more often. Go home and visit as often as you can.
21) 更經常告訴你的父母你愛他們。盡可能多回家探望。
22) This too shall pass. 這也將會過去。
23) Learn voraciously. 23) 學習如飢渴。
24) Do new things often. This seems to be really important. Not only does doing new things seem to slow down the perception of time, increase happiness, and keep life interesting, but it seems to prevent people from calcifying in the ways that they think. Aim to do something big, new, and risky every year in your personal and professional life.
24) 經常嘗試新事物。這似乎非常重要。不僅是因為嘗試新事物似乎能減緩時間感知、增加幸福感、使生活更有趣,而且似乎能防止人們在思維方式上變得僵化。努力在個人和職業生活中每年做一些重大、新穎且冒險的事情。
25) Remember how intensely you loved your boyfriend/girlfriend when you were a teenager? Love him/her that intensely now. Remember how excited and happy you got about stuff as a kid? Get that excited and happy now.
25) 記得當你是個十幾歲的青少年時,你是多麼地熱愛你的男朋友 / 女朋友?現在也要那麼熱愛他 / 她。記得當你還是個孩子時,你對事物是多麼地興奮和快樂?現在也要那麼興奮和快樂。
26) Don’t screw people and don’t burn bridges. Pick your battles carefully.
26) 不要欺騙他人,也不要燒毀橋樑。謹慎挑選你要打的戰役。
27) Forgive people. 27) 原諒他人。
28) Don’t chase status. Status without substance doesn’t work for long and is unfulfilling.
28) 不要追求地位。没有实质内容的地位长久不了,也是不令人满足的。
29) Most things are ok in moderation. Almost nothing is ok in extreme amounts.
29) 大部分事情適度都沒問題。幾乎沒有什麼東西在極端的量下是可以的。
30) Existential angst is part of life. It is particularly noticeable around major life events or just after major career milestones. It seems to particularly affect smart, ambitious people. I think one of the reasons some people work so hard is so they don’t have to spend too much time thinking about this. Nothing is wrong with you for feeling this way; you are not alone.
30) 存在的焦慮是生活的一部分。在重大生活事件或重大職業里程碑之後,這種焦慮尤為明顯。這似乎特別影響聰明、有抱負的人。我認為有些人如此努力工作的原因之一是為了不必花太多時間去思考這個問題。感覺這樣並沒有錯;你並不孤單。
31) Be grateful and keep problems in perspective. Don’t complain too much. Don’t hate other people’s success (but remember that some people will hate your success, and you have to learn to ignore it).
31) 感恩並保持問題的角度。不要抱怨太多。不要嫉妒他人的成功(但記住有些人會嫉妒你的成功,你必須學會忽略它)。
32) Be a doer, not a talker.
32) 做實踐者,而非說教者。
33) Given enough time, it is possible to adjust to almost anything, good or bad. Humans are remarkable at this.
33) 給予足夠的時間,幾乎可以適應任何事情,無論是好是壞。人類在這方面非常了不起。
34) Think for a few seconds before you act. Think for a few minutes if you’re angry.
34) 在採取行動之前多想幾秒鐘。如果你生氣了,多想幾分鐘。
35) Don’t judge other people too quickly. You never know their whole story and why they did or didn’t do something. Be empathetic.
35) 不要太快就對他人下判斷。你永遠不知道他們的整個故事以及他們為什麼這樣做或不做某事。要有同理心。
36) The days are long but the decades are short.
36) 日子很長,但十年很短。