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Part 2 of Henry has a twin (rwrb)
← 前作《亨利有个双胞胎》第二部分 (rwrb)
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The wrong twin  错误的双胞胎

Chapter 2: Hey, on the brightside, atleast now you know he's never going to cheat on you
第 2 章:嘿,往好的方面想,至少现在你知道他永远不会欺骗你了

Summary: 摘要

Alex has a panick attack when he wakes up next to his boyfriend only for him to turn to face him and Alex to realize he woke up in bed with his boyfriend's twin brother.

George tries to calm him down but Alex won't hear him out until Henry comes rushing in and explains that there is nothing weird going on.

George had a night mare about Henry dying and slipped in to Henry's bed on Henry's side.

Henry woke up in the middle between Alex and George and went to make everyone tea and coffee.

A few minutes later Alex woke up with a big gap between a blonde and him in Henry's bed and freaked out when he realized the twin he'd slept with wasn't his boyfriend

Notes: 备注

I'm still not sure how I feel about this chapter but I wanted to share it because g&H got so many lovely reactions and because i have a bad migrane and wanted to focus on something else so I decided to edit this chapter I came up with at 3 am for some reason.
我还不确定自己对这一章的感觉如何,但我想分享它,因为 g&H 得到了这么多可爱的回应,而且我有严重的偏头痛,想专注于其他事情,所以我决定编辑这一章,这是我在凌晨 3 点不知为何想出来的。

Cw: Alex makes some wild assumptions when he wakes up to find the wrong twin in his bed and can't find henry but in reality no weird shit happens George just slept next to his twin after a nightmare and Henry went downstairs to make coffee.

Tw: swearing, wrong assumptions, mean and rude jokes but its all just banter between besties, name calling, mentions of adhd struggles because it's me, mentions of antidepressants, mentions of nightmares about the death of a loved one, conversation about cheating/alcohol and consent (this is really just George trying to prove a point with a hypothetical loyalty scenario that has nothing to do with the point he's trying to make), like one d*ck joke, one murder joke, mentions of insomnia
之二:脏话、错误的假设、刻薄粗鲁的笑话,但都只是闺蜜之间的戏谑、辱骂、提到因为是我而挣扎的 adhd、提到抗抑郁药、提到关于亲人死亡的噩梦、关于出轨/酗酒和同意的对话(这其实只是乔治试图用一个假设的忠诚场景来证明一个观点,与他想表达的观点毫无关系),比如一个鸡鸡笑话、一个谋杀笑话、提到失眠症

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text 章节正文

"Hen?" George whispers as he awkwardly stands next to the king-sized bed in his twin's room.

Henry slowly opens his eyes, untangles himself from Alex, and turns to face the voice of his twin. "Hey, what is wrong?" He whispers back.

George bites his lip and looks at Alex.

Henry smiles softly. "It's okay, he's out cold, talk to me, G."

George sighs. "Look I know I'm a grown man in my mid-twenties so this is fucking weird but I had a nightmare in which you died. And every time I close my eyes I relive it. Which is fucked up. But I can't afford to not sleep because I have that presentation at work today."
乔治叹了口气"听着,我知道我是个二十多岁的成年人,所以这很奇怪,但我做了个噩梦,梦见你死了。每次我闭上眼睛都会重温一遍真他妈糟透了但我不能不睡觉 因为我今天要去做演讲"

Henry opens the blankets on his side. "You can sleep here."

George scoffs. "Yeah, no, I'm not a child, I just wanted to see for myself that you're... you know not dead."

"Of course, you don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable, but we used to do it all the time. And G, it's not that weird friends can sleep next to each other, lots of people do it all the time", Henry tells him gently.

George sighs. "I know, usually it wouldn't be weird, not if it was just us, like you said we've done that countless of times, even recently but now you're dating Alex and he is laying next to you as we speak."

Henry shrugs. "So?" 亨利耸耸肩。"所以呢?"

"So he's going to think I'm fucked in the brain if he wakes up and finds me in this bed', George hisses.

Henry laughs. "God you're dramatic. He's not going to think it's weird if you sleep next to your brother. Siblings share rooms and beds all the time, all around the world. He has a sibling too. He'll understand, I'm sure he and June have shared a bed before. Plus he used to get vivid nightmares from his adhd medication, he'll get it, knowing him he'll be nothing but supportive.'

George groans. "Maybe but I bet June and Alex never shared a bed with one of their partners in it."

Henry pulls George closer. "Kowing Nora and Alex's bond they probably did at some point. Those 3 are all besties. It's not that weird, G. I'll sleep in the middle so you won't even notice Alex is there. Alex and I didn't have sex last night so we're both fully clothed and the bed is clean. So It really isn't gross or weird. I'd join you in your bed if that made you more comfortable, but I really don't want to because this is a kingsized bed that easily fits 4 of us and your single bed barely fits you."

George sighs. "I think I'll be able to sleep if I'm next to you, but do you promise I'm not going to see any dicks if I get in this bed?"
乔治叹了口气。"我想如果我在你身边,我就能睡得着了" "但你能保证,如果我上了这张床,就不会看到任何小鸡鸡吗?"

"Yes, you demon, I wouldn't have offered it otherwise. Everyone is wearing pajamas. Now go to sleep", Henry tells him before pushing him down.

George pulls the covers over them. "Thanks, H.'

"Don't mention it, just try to get some sleep and please don't kick me in your sleep.'

George scoffs. "I was 9!"

"And I was bruised!" Henry whispers back offended.

"Whatever, thanks for letting me crash here so I can check every 5 seconds if you're still alive."
"不管怎样,谢谢你让我在这里坠机 这样我就可以每5秒钟检查一次你是否还活着"

henry sighs. "Sure, but your aggressive staring better not wake me up, and no matter what you do don't wake up Alex because he has had some really bad insomnia lately. I'm serious no one is waking up Alex unless there is a fire. And honestly, even then I'd rather carry him out while letting him sleep than wake him up. That man hasn't slept more than 4 hours in days."

"That's why we're whispering, smartass', George reminds him.

***  Alex's pov  *** 亚历克斯的视角

Alex wakes up ready to kiss his boyfriend good morning, however when he blindly pats the king-sized bed the space next to him is empty.

He frowns and opens his eyes to stretch, assuming Henry already went downstairs.

Then he takes notice of a blonde head all the way on the other side of the bed.

He frowns at the blonde boy who is lying at the very corner of the left side.

He literally couldn't have created more space between them if he tried.

Two full-grown men would easily fit in the gap between them.

Weird because Alex usually wakes up with Henry either in his arms or at least with Henry right next to him.

He literally has to stretch his entire arm and then he still has to move to be able to touch his boyfriend. Fucking unacceptable, he wants morning cuddles.

All his movement seems to wake up the blonde.

"Hey, baby. Good morning, How did you sleep?" Alex asks sweetly.

"No", the guy mumbles as he turns to face him.

Alex giggles at the confused-sounding   "no".
亚历克斯听到这个听起来让人困惑的 "不 "字,不禁咯咯笑了起来。

That is until the twin turns to face him and Alex realizes it's the   Wrong twin
直到那对双胞胎转过身来面对他,亚历克斯才意识到这是一对 "错误的双胞胎"。

"You're not Henry! What the fuck?!" Alex yells before backing away so fast that he yeets himself off the other end of the bed with a loud crash.

George looks up concerned. "Christ, Are you okay, Alex?"

Alex looks at him with wide eyes from where he's lying on the floor. "No, I'm not fucking okay. I'm going to be sick, actually! What the fuck happened? What did I   do ? What did  you  do? Where the hell is  Henry ?"

George sits up straight. "Alex, it's okay, everything is fine, but you have to breathe."

Alex shakes his head violently. "It's not okay, I didn't mean for this to happen. You fucking tricked me! Oh my god, you're one sick man for pretending to be Henry in the bedroom. So what? You were so jealous of your brother that you decided to pretend to be him and sleep with his boyfriend? Out of what? revenge that I am with Henry instead of you?"
亚历克斯猛摇头。"这不行,我不是故意的。你他妈耍我!天啊,你在卧室里假装亨利,真是个变态。那又怎样?你太嫉妒你哥哥了 所以你决定假扮他 和他男朋友上床?报复我和亨利而不是你在一起?"

George stares at him and then bursts out in laughter. "Oh, this is fucking funny to you?" Alex asks his supposed-to-be best friend.

George giggles. "A little yes, look, Alex, you've got it all wrong-"

"Oh save it, I don't want to hear from you", Alex bites at him.

Then he loudly yells "Henry!"

Henry comes rushing in a few seconds later. "What's wrong? Why are you on the floor, Alex?"

"Because this psychopath was lying in my bed pretending to be my boyfriend!" Alex yells.
"因为这个神经病躺在我床上 假装是我男朋友!"亚历克斯大喊。

"I swear I had no idea, H. I know it looks bad, baby. But I got away from him as soon as I realized it was him", he promises.
"我发誓我不知道,H 我知道这看起来很糟糕,宝贝。但我一意识到是他,就马上离开了他",他保证道。

George rolls his eyes at him. "Okay, first of all, this is Henry's bedroom, and second of all, Henry promised me you wouldn't find it weird if I slept here. Obviously, he knew I was here since he went to bed next to you. How do you think I ended up here without him and without his knowledge? I'm not a wizard and we can't teleport or magically switch places no matter what people on Reddit seem to think the psychic powers of twins are capable of."
乔治朝他翻了个白眼。"好吧,首先,这是亨利的卧室;其次,亨利答应过我,如果我睡在这里,你不会觉得奇怪。很明显,他知道我在这里,因为他就睡在你旁边。你觉得我是怎么瞒着他来到这里的?我不是巫师,我们也不能瞬移或魔法换位,不管 Reddit 上的人怎么认为双胞胎的超能力有多厉害。"

Henry frowns at his twin before kneeling in front of Alex to check his head for injuries. "I really didn't think he would find it weird, that's my fault for assuming, sorry, G."

Alex scoffs as he stands up. "Yeah speak for yourself, I find it very fucking weird. You were in on this? So what was this? Some kind of sick boyfriend swap for the night? Just because you agreed to that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. I didn't consent to any weird partner swap shit."

Henry looks at his twin and then the twins both burst out into hysterical laughter.

Alex frowns. "What did I miss? And Henry why aren't you threatening to cut our balls off? Aren't we exclusive? I don't get what's so funny about catching your boyfriend in bed with  another man ? No offense but I'd be making a scene right about now. But then again you're in on this weird partner swap thing? Does this mean you've shared the night with George's partner? Does George even have a partner? I thought he was single. This isn't like some weird fantasy of George's right because I really didn't see that coming. I never expected that he thought of me as anything but a friend."
亚历克斯皱起了眉头。"我错过了什么?还有亨利,你为什么不威胁要把我们的蛋蛋切下来?我们不是独家吗?我不明白自己的男朋友和别人上床有什么好笑的?我无意冒犯,但我现在就会大吵大闹了不过你也参与了这种奇怪的交换伴侣的活动?这是不是意味着你和乔治的搭档共度了一夜?乔治有舞伴吗?我以为他单身呢这不是乔治的什么奇怪幻想吧 因为我真的没想到会这样"我从没想过他会把我当成朋友"

Henry rolls his eyes at him. "You didn't sleep with George, love. And honestly, if you did while both fully clothed I wouldn't care that you slept in the same bed because I trust you both with my life, but that's not what happened. And I can assure you George and I are also not into  partner swaps  or whatever you were on about. I've never even heard of that- must be an American thing-. Anyway, I was here the whole time. I got out of bed a few minutes ago because I got hot from laying between the lot of you all night. Because you're a cuddler and George threw like 5 blankets on top of our side. I was overheating, but otherwise, I'd have still been there when you woke up."
亨利朝他翻了个白眼。"你没有和乔治上床,亲爱的。老实说,如果你们都衣衫不整地上床了,我也不会在乎你们睡在一张床上,因为我把我的生命都托付给了你们,但事实并非如此。我可以向你保证,乔治和我也不喜欢交换伴侣 或者你说的那些东西。我听都没听说过 肯定是美国人的专利总之,我一直都在这里几分钟前我下了床 因为整晚躺在你们中间 我觉得很热因为你喜欢抱着我,乔治在我们中间铺了五条毯子。我是太热了,不然你醒来的时候我还在呢。"

George looks around awkwardly. "I'm sorry for causing problems and making you uncomfortable, Alex. I was anxious after a nightmare in which Henry died. I get very vivid nightmares sometimes due to my antidepressants. This one felt a little too real. Henry takes them too so he knows how hard it can be and we usually sleep in the same bed if one of us has an episode. It's comforting because we used to do it as kids a lot and then again when dad died when we were 18. I'm sorry for sleeping in your bed though, Henry told me you'd be fine with it, but that's obviously not true. I'm so sorry.' 
乔治尴尬地环顾四周。"我很抱歉给你添麻烦,让你感到不自在,亚历克斯。我做了一个亨利死了的噩梦后很焦虑。由于服用了抗抑郁药,我有时会做很逼真的噩梦。这次感觉太真实了亨利也在服用抗抑郁药 所以他知道这有多难 如果我们其中一个发作了 我们通常会睡在一张床上这让我很欣慰,因为我们小时候经常这样,18 岁那年爸爸去世后也是。我很抱歉睡在你的床上,亨利告诉我你不会介意的,但这显然不是真的。真对不起

Alex bites his lip.

Oh , George wanting to sleep next to his twin after a nightmare makes way more sense.

"Fuck, sorry, I'm a dick. Hen is right. I don't care if you want to sleep next to, H. I totally get that, I've crashed in June's bed before and I understand why you two didn't try to fit into your tiny bed. Plus friends can sleep in the same bed. It really isn't weird. I'm sorry for making you feel like shit."

George scoffs. "If you don't find it weird then why did you make such a scene?"
乔治嘲笑道"如果你不觉得奇怪 那你为什么要大吵大闹?"

Alex chuckles awkwardly. "You try to wake up next to another man when you thought you went to sleep with your boyfriend. Of course, I freaked out. It would have been totally different if I knew you were here before I went to bed or if Henry was still lying in the middle when I woke up. I don't think it's weird that you slept here. I've shared beds with Nora and June lots of times. And you're my friend, friends can share a bed. I'd share a bed with you if necessary. I just freaked out because I woke up expecting my boyfriend and not another man."
亚历克斯尴尬地笑了笑。"你以为和男朋友睡了,却在另一个男人身边醒来。当然,我吓坏了。如果我睡觉前就知道你在这里,或者我醒来时亨利还躺在中间,情况就完全不一样了。我不觉得你睡在这里有什么奇怪的。我跟诺拉和琼睡过很多次床。你是我的朋友 朋友可以同床共枕如果有必要 我也会和你睡一张床的我只是吓坏了 因为我醒来时以为是我男朋友 而不是别的男人"

Henry sighs. "That's my bad for not waking you up So you'd know George was going to crash here. I just felt guilty because you had a few bad insomnia days."
亨利叹了口气。"是我不好,没有叫醒你,让你知道乔治要在这里过夜。我只是觉得很内疚 因为你失眠了好几天"

George laughs. "Hey, on the bright side, at least now you know he's not going to cheat on you. I mean he woke up next to another man and the realization it wasn't you almost made him throw up.'

Henry scoffs. "I wasn't too worried about that before either."

"I would be, if I looked like you", George jokes.

Henry sighs loudly. "We literally look identical, you fool."

"You really don't or I wouldn't have freaked out the second I saw his face", Alex pointed out.

henry waves him off and then sighs. "I'm sorry you freaked out and I'm sorry for not asking you if George could sleep here. I shouldn't have assumed. I feel terrible", he tells him awkwardly.

Alex laughs. "Oh no, baby, it's totally fine with me. Everyone is wearing pajamas and shit. Nothing weird about that, I just didn't expect to see another man and freaked out when the guy I thought was my boyfriend turned around and revealed that he was you know  the wrong twin.  But I'm fine with George crashing here after a nightmare because he wanted to be with his twin, you don't have to feel guilty, baby and neither does George. I shouldn't have been such a dick about it. I just had a completely different situation in mind than what actually happened."

Then he turns to George. "I'm seriously sorry George, I shouldn't have made those assumptions about you. I actually know damn well that you'd never take advantage of me by making me do something I'd only do with Henry by pretending to be Henry and that even in other situations you'd never pretend to be Henry to get something you wanted or some weird shit like that. My point is I know you'd never take advantage of being a twin by stealing H's identity without his consent. And I know you're not into me and that you respect my boundaries and that we can trust you and I'm sorry for making everything weird and being a jerk to you. I should have known nothing weird was going on. Just because I'm dating Henry doesn't give me the right to freak out when I happened to find you in my bed. As my friend, I should have given you the benefit of the doubt and trusted you enough to know you'd never do any of the things I accused you of."
然后他转向乔治。"我真的很抱歉,乔治,我不应该对你做出那些假设。其实我很清楚,你绝对不会利用我,让我假扮亨利做一些我只和亨利一起做的事,而且即使在其他情况下,你也绝对不会假扮亨利来得到你想要的东西,或者一些类似的怪事。我的意思是,我知道你绝不会利用自己是双胞胎的优势,在未经 H 同意的情况下盗用他的身份。我知道你不喜欢我,你尊重我的底线,我们可以信任你,我很抱歉把一切搞得很奇怪,对你很混蛋。我早该知道没有什么奇怪的事。我和亨利约会并不代表我就有权利在碰巧发现你在我床上时抓狂。作为我的朋友,我应该给你足够的信任 知道你不会做我指责你的那些事"

George rolls his eyes at him. "Of course, I wouldn't do any of that shit," he says offended.

Then he smirks. "Besides you're not hot enough to take the risk for", he teases, taking them back to their familiar banter.

Alex gasps in offense. "Yes, I am. Wait- that sounds weird defending myself for being hot enough to risk your bond with Henry-. That's not what I meant. I just mean that  I am  hot."

Henry laughs. "Of course, you are, my love", he says before pulling him in for a kiss.

"At least one twin thinks so", George teases.

Alex glares at him. 

George laughs. "Oh please, did you or did you not call me an  ugly white boy  like 5 seconds after confusing me for Henry when you were drunk? Henry should have dumped your arse for that if you ask me.'
乔治大笑起来。"哦,拜托,你是不是喝醉了,把我和亨利搞混后,5 秒钟就叫我丑白人男孩?要我说,亨利早该把你甩了。

Henry sighs loudly. "I will not be doing that, can we now please go downstairs and drink coffee before the lot of you kill each other in cold blood? Because I'd have no idea whose side I'd be on if things turned murderous.'

George scoffs. "Oh, you fucking  traitor . We've been connected by the hip for like 25 years, I am quite literally your  other half  and if it came down to it you'd save your boyfriend of one week over your literal twin? Well, I guess that's what good dick does to you."
乔治嘲笑道。"哦,你这个该死的叛徒。我们在一起已经有 25 年了,我是你名副其实的另一半,如果真的到了这一步,你会救你一周前的男朋友而不是你名副其实的双胞胎?好吧,我想这就是好鸡巴对你的影响。"

Then he turns to Alex. 'Is that offer still open, Alex?" he jokes.

Alex snorts. "What offer? I literally called you a  psychopath  when I found you in my bed.'

George nods slowly. "Good point, so that's not going to work. Got any hot cousins?"

Alex shakes his head. "No, why would I think my cousins are hot?"

"Good point, just give me the number of any single cousin above 18 and I'll see for myself', George teases.
"说得好,只要告诉我任何一个 18 岁以上单身表亲的电话号码,我自己就知道了",乔治揶揄道。

Alex shakes his head again. "No, I don't want to become family with you', he jokes.

"Well that is good to know', Henry deadpans.

Alex throws his arms around Henry's neck. "I was kidding, babe, I'd marry you right now if you asked'.

"Don't do it, Henry, I get it the dick is good, but you need to be dating for more than two weeks before you propose', George warns him jokingly.

"Okay, first of all, can we stop oversexualizing my boyfriend and discussing sex in general? It's weirding me out to talk about things like that with you. So shut up, okay? Thanks. And second of all I never said anything about a proposal those were Alex's words.'
"好吧,首先,我们能不能不要把我的男朋友 过度性化,也不要再讨论性的话题了?和你谈这些让我觉得很奇怪。所以闭嘴,好吗?谢谢其次,我从来没说过求婚的事 那是亚历克斯说的

George waves him off. "Yes, but you're a hopeless romantic you probably already have a ring hidden in your sock drawer or something. Despite the fact that you've been dating him for like 11 days.'
乔治挥手让他走开。"是的,但你是个无可救药的浪漫主义者 你可能已经把戒指藏在袜子抽屉里了。尽管你和他约会才11天'。

Henry laughs. "If I were to hide a ring I would not hide it in my sock drawer that is probably the first place where Alex would look because that's way too on the nose. And how many times do I have to remind you that Alex and I have been dating for almost half a year?"

George glares at him. "Oh, right. I keep forgetting that because I'm not used to that kind of  betrayal  coming from you. We used to tell each other everything, minus sex life stuff, and suddenly I found out you were gatekeeping an entire boyfriend for me? for half a year? Do you even love me at all?"

Henry rolls his eyes at him. 'Alex and I had every right to come out on our own terms."

George sighs. "To everyone else, Yes. But you came out to me when you were what? 11? And I also already knew you were crushing on Alex, because I know you and because when he moved in you were all like  he's so hot, I want to die . So I really don't understand why you waited 6 months to tell me. Fucking rude if you ask me. I thought we'd been telling each other all our secrets since the literal day we started talking."
乔治叹了口气。"对其他人来说,是的。但你11岁的时候就向我坦白了?我还知道你暗恋亚历克斯,因为我了解你,而且他搬进来的时候,你还说他太帅了,我想死。所以我真不明白你为什么等了六个月才告诉我要我说真他妈没礼貌我还以为从我们开始交谈的那天起 我们就把所有的秘密都告诉对方了呢"

Henry glares at him. "Well, I'm never telling you anything, ever again, because you know bloody well I didn't want Alex to know what I said when he just moved in.'

Alex snorts. "Ah, baby, why not? It's not like it's a secret that you're obsessed with me.'

George nods. "That is true, he really is obsessed with you. I'm actually kind of glad you're dating when you put it like that. Because I spent the last 6 months thinking Henry had a pathetically large crush on our roommate."

Henry sighs loudly. "Well I'm done with you both and I'm going to throw away the coffee I made when I still liked the lot of you.'

Alex runs downstairs. "No not the coffee, that's a hate crime, baby. I would literally divorce you.'

"Well it's good to know you care more about coffee beans than you care about me', Henry deadpans.

Alex grins. "Don't worry, You're a close second, baby. And the ugly twin comes in fourth after June and Nora and my 3 parents that share the 3rd place."
亚历克斯咧嘴一笑。"别担心,你紧随其后,宝贝。丑双胞胎排在第四位,仅次于茱恩和诺拉 还有我的三位父母,他们排在第三位"

"You know one of these days I'm going to push you off the stairs', George warns him as he walks down the stairs behind Alex with Henry hot on his feet.

"I have to give it to George, not the pushing you off the stairs part of course, but I would also like to know why you keep calling him ugly, Alex. It's kind of rude, darling. And not to make everything about me but I hate it too. We literally look identical so you're kind of calling your boyfriend ugly as well", Henry reminds him.

Alex rolls his eyes at the twins from where he is pouring hot coffee into two mugs for him and George.

"I call him ugly as a joke. But y'all don't even look alike. I really don't see the resemblance. Like your voices sound kinda alike and you're about the same height but I wouldn't say you look  identical . Honestly, if someone told me that Catherine gave birth to twins but someone swapped one of the babies with a random stranger I'd fucking believe it. Y'all don't even look like twins.'
"我说他丑是开玩笑的但你们长得一点都不像。我真看不出有什么相似之处。就像你们的声音听起来有点像,身高也差不多,但我不会说你们长得一模一样......老实说,如果有人告诉我凯瑟琳生的是双胞胎 但有人把其中一个孩子随便换给了一个陌生人 我他妈肯定会相信的你们看起来根本不像双胞胎

George and Henry share a look.

"Right, of course, we don't, that's why you tried to kiss George's neck the other day', Henry teases him.

Alex sighs loudly. "I was very drunk and sleep deprived and it was like 3 am, how long are you guys going to bully me with that? I can tell you two apart just fine, I have literally never missed up when I was sober. It's like... I'm a good driver, but I still wouldn't be allowed to drive if I was drunk. So y'all suck for not letting me off the hook for one drunken mistake.'
亚历克斯大声叹气。"我当时喝得很醉,睡眠不足,而且好像是凌晨三点,你们还要拿这个欺负我到什么时候?你们两个我分得清,我清醒的时候从来没失手过。这就像...我是个好司机 但如果我喝醉了还是不能开车'所以,你们都很烂,不放过我 一个醉酒的错误。

George shrugs before accepting the coffee Alex offers him. "I still think it's rude that you keep calling me ugly. And honestly, if my partner kept calling Henry ugly I would dump them, no joke, because that's fucking weird. That's like calling my reflection in the mirror ugly. We are not fraternal twins or siblings, it's literally not okay or normal to call your partner's identical twin ugly.'

Henry sighs. "He just said it's just a joke George.'

"Sure, but it's still weird', George points out.

Alex shrugs. "I just do it because I don't want Henry to think I'm attracted to his brother, that's weird. If I had a brother I wouldn't like it if I knew Henry was attracted to him. I always call Henry the hottest man on the planet, so that's why I make sure to remind him I think his twin is not as good-looking as him. Not because I actually think you're ugly but because I don't want Henry to think I find his brother the hottest man on earth. That can't be fun for him. He's not the jealous type, but that would probably make anyone jealous, right? It's like that TikTok trend.   Would you still pick your boyfriend in a room full of men?   I don't want Henry to think that if I didn't know y'all's personalities and I'd walk into a room full of men, and you were both there, there was a chance I'd pick George instead of H. I want him to think I'd choose him over anyone else, in any universe and in any situation.'
亚历克斯耸耸肩。"我这么做是因为我不想让亨利觉得我喜欢他哥哥,这很奇怪。如果我有个哥哥,如果我知道亨利喜欢他,我也不会喜欢的。我总是说亨利是这个星球上最帅的男人,所以我才会提醒他,我觉得他的双胞胎没有他帅。不是因为我真的觉得你很丑,而是因为我不想让亨利觉得我觉得他哥哥是世界上最帅的男人。这对他来说可不好玩他不是那种爱吃醋的人,但这可能会让任何人吃醋,对吧?就像 TikTok 的流行趋势一样。你还会在满屋子的男人中选你的男朋友吗?我不想让亨利觉得,如果我不了解你们的个性,走进一个满是男人的房间,而你们都在,我有可能会选乔治而不是H。

George laughs. "Of course, you've been overthinking this. We should have seen that coming.'

Henry elbows him. "Don't be rude, we have no idea how exhausting adhd can be.'
亨利用手肘撞了他一下。"别这么粗鲁,我们不知道 adhd 会有多累。

Then he turns to Alex.

"Love, it makes sense that if you're attracted to me you're automatically attracted to my identical twin, that doesn't make you a cheater or gross or a bad person. That's just one of the downsides of dating an identical twin. But we have very different personalities that's why you chose me. So don't worry about who you'd choose if you didn't know us personally yet and don't worry whether you'd pick the right twin. You're overthinking something that is never going to happen because you already know us personally. Plus that TikTok trend is just a hypothetical meant to test your partner's loyalty and I already know that you're loyal."
"爱情,如果你被我吸引,你就会自动被我的同卵双胞胎吸引,这是有道理的,这并不意味着你是个骗子、恶心或坏人。这只是和同卵双胞胎约会的弊端之一。但我们的性格截然不同 所以你才选择了我所以,如果你还不了解我们,不用担心你会选择谁,也不用担心你是否选对了双胞胎。你想太多了,因为你已经认识我们了。另外,TikTok 趋势只是一个假设,目的是测试你的伴侣是否忠诚,而我已经知道你很忠诚。

Alex hugs him. "Thank you for saying that, baby.'

Then he smirks at George. "Oh, I get it, if I want to let Henry know he's the only one for me I should just call you   twin with the unlikeable personality   instead of   the ugly twin   so I don't make Henry insecure.'

"Yeah, okay, you have my permission to push him down the stairs', Henry tells his brother jokingly.

Alex gasps offended as he pulls away from the hug. "You know you're going to regret this when he actually does it.'

Henry rolls his eyes at him. "George is not a bad person, he's not going to push my boyfriend or anyone else down the stairs. Especially not one of his own friends.'

George hums. "No, I agree with Alex, you're going to regret saying that, Hen", he teases.

"Christ, I've had enough of you two already and I've only been awake for 30 minutes. I'm starting to think that letting you two meet was the biggest mistake I ever made', Henry teases.
"天哪,我已经受够你们俩了,而我才醒了 30 分钟。我开始觉得让你们俩见面是我犯过的最大的错误了",亨利调侃道。

'It really was, he literally slept with your twin', George jokes.

Alex punches him in the arm. "Too soon, asshole. That was not a fun way to wake up. I've never been that stressed in my life.'

"Oh my god, you should have seen your face when you woke up and I turned around. It was hilarious', George laughs.

"George, stop bullying my boyfriend", Henry sighs.

"But he makes it so easy", George pouts.

"Yes, G, go bully someone else. Or go pull a twin swap prank on someone who can't tell the difference between y'all. I think I'd find it really enjoyable if I wasn't the victim.'

Henry chuckles softly. "Literally no one can, except for Bea and you occasionally."

Alex rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. " Occasionally?  Seriously? I've been your roommate for what? Two years? I've been your boyfriend for 6 months and I messed up  Once  while under the influence. It's not fair that this ruined my track record."
亚历克斯对他的男朋友翻了个白眼。"偶尔?偶尔?我做你室友多久了?两年?我做你男朋友才 6 个月,我就在酒后搞砸了一次。这毁了我的记录,这不公平。"

"Theoretically, yes it is. You're just looking at it the wrong way. You've never cheated on Henry, right?" George asks.

Alex frowns. "I don't know what that has to do with anything, but no of course not."

George nods. 'Right, so you have a perfect track record when it comes to loyalty, right?"

Alex scoffs. "I'm pretty sure that's just called being a decent partner. I don't think anyone deserves a gold star for not cheating in an  exclusive  relationship. That's basic respect and commitment, not a flex."

George waves him off. "Obviously, but I'm just trying to make a point."

Alex sighs loudly. "Okay fine, yes I have a  perfect track record  when it comes down to loyalty even though I'd rather just call myself trustworthy or loyal.'

Henry smiles fondly at his boyfriend and tries to hug him.

George sighs loudly. "God, H, you can go be a sap in a second. I'm proving a point. My god, y'all are clingy and disgustingly in love."

Alex drags Henry towards him and hugs him to his chest. "Don't gatekeep him, I can still answer your questions while holding my baby if he wants cuddles.'

George pretends to gag. "That was disgustingly corny, even for you. Buy my point is, hypothetically if you were to cheat on Henry during a night out while you're drunk-"
乔治假装插科打诨。"即使对你来说,这也太老套了。我想说的是,假设你在喝醉的情况下 和亨利出去偷情--"

Alex scoffs as he kisses Henry's hair. "That would never happen, stupid fucking question."

George groans. "That's why I said  hypothetically."

Alex scoffs again. "There is no universe or situation in which I'd willingly hurt Henry in any way. I'm done with this conversation."

Henry turns around in Alex's arms to face George. "Is this going somewhere, G?"

George sighs. "It was, but y'all keep drifting off-topic. My point is, y'all have never cheated on each other so you have a perfect track record, right? But should you cheat once that track record is fucked, right? No one is going to be like  I only cheated once.  Either you're a cheater or you're not. If you cheat while drunk and you weren't too drunk to consent it's not a  drunken mistake,  right? I know you'd both agree that, if consensual, it's a conscious choice and not a  mistake.  So then with that mindset, it makes sense that Alex confessing me for H once fucks up his entire track record, right? There Is no perfect record minus one drunken mistake. It simply ruins your credibility."

Alex groans. "Geez, that was the whole point of your speech? I thought it was like a belated shovel talk thingy. My g- we need to get you a partner George. You're turning into a Grinch who gets angry at the mere sight of love. Stop being a jealous little asshole and let me set you up on a date. Before Henry and I started dating my friend Sabrina once told me while drunk  that if Henry had been bi or straight or pan or fluid I'd have asked him out ages ago because he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life.  I could easily give you her number. She's a pretty, curvy, short, sassy, funny, pansexual, blonde girl and I think you'll really like her if you were to give her a chance. She has your rude sense of humor and she's really quite beautiful."
亚历克斯呻吟道。"天啊,这就是你演讲的重点?我还以为是迟来的铲子谈话呢。我们得给你找个搭档,乔治。你现在就像个鬼灵精,一看到爱情就生气。别再像个嫉妒的小混蛋了 让我给你安排个约会吧在我和亨利约会之前,我的朋友萨布丽娜曾在喝醉的时候告诉我,如果亨利是双性恋、异性恋、平底锅或者同性恋,我早就约他出去了,因为他是我这辈子见过的最漂亮的男人。我可以很轻松地告诉你她的电话号码。她是一个漂亮、有曲线、矮小、时髦、风趣、泛性、金发的女孩,如果你能给她一个机会,我想你会非常喜欢她的。她有你那种粗鲁的幽默感 而且她真的很漂亮"

George shrugs. "Okay, I'll go to the date but not as a  backup plan since Henry is unavailable"

Alex cringes. "That's not what I meant I just mean she thinks that you guys are really beautiful and she's been asking me to set her up with a  hot nice guy or girl that supports queer rights, that you know for damn sure wouldn't cheat on their partner and that can take a joke, no cry baby that can't handle sarcasm  for ages. You're a good match if you ask me. I mean you fit the description of her dream partner." 

George raises an eyebrow. "I thought you said H and I didn't look alike?"
乔治挑了挑眉毛。"你不是说我和 H 长得不一样吗?"

Alex groans. "Do you want the date or not?"

George hums. "You said she's funny, queer and pretty, right?"

Alex nods. 亚历克斯点点头。

"And not racist or unsupportive of mental health or the neuro divergency community or anything like that, right?" George asks.

Alex rolls his eyes at him. "Yes, because I've got tons of racist friends that don't support mental health and hate people with adhd or other neuro divergencies."
亚历克斯朝他翻了个白眼。"是的,因为我有很多种族主义朋友,他们不支持心理健康,讨厌患有 adhd 或其他神经疾病的人。"

George cringes. "Right, you said she's your friend so then I'm assuming she's a good person."
乔治缩了缩脖子。"对了,你说她是你的朋友 所以我想她是个好人"

Alex nods. 亚历克斯点点头。

"Okay, yeah I'll go on that date with her. Thanks for doing that for me.'

Henry laughs. "G, You know he's only doing it so you'll stop bullying him, right? He's just hoping your partner will be horrible at keeping us apart so you'll stop bullying Alex for messing up once."
亨利笑了"G,你知道他这么做只是为了让你不再欺负他,对吧?他只是希望你的搭档能可怕地把我们分开 这样你就不会再因为亚历克斯搞砸了一次而欺负他了。"

George shrugs. "If I get a funny, hot, kind girlfriend out of it I really don't care what selfish intentions Alex has for it. Even if it's just a plan to get me to move out."

Alex bites his lip. "Dude you do know that I don't actually hate you, right? You're genuinely one of my best friends. I'm not just friends with you because I'm dating H. I genuinely like to spend time with you, even one on one. I really appreciate you as a friend.'
亚历克斯咬着嘴唇。"老兄,你知道我其实并不讨厌你,对吧?你真的是我最好的朋友之一。我和你做朋友不只是因为我在和 H 约会,我真的很喜欢和你在一起,甚至是一对一。我真的很感激你这个朋友

George laughs. "I wasn't worried about that."

"Well good, I wouldn't want you to be because all banter aside you mean a lot to me. And I genuinely just offered you that date with Sabrina because I want you to be happy and you deserve a nontoxic partner. And I'm sorry for calling you a psychopath, for real. You have my full permission to push me out of Henry's bed and steal my spot anytime you have a nightmare", Alex reassures him.
"很好,我不希望你这样,因为抛开戏谑不谈,你对我很重要。我真的只是想让你和萨布丽娜约会 因为我希望你快乐 你应该有个无毒的伴侣我很抱歉说你是神经病,真的亚历克斯安慰他说:"我完全同意你在做噩梦的时候把我从亨利的床上推下来,抢走我的位置。

George snorts and says, "Thanks you're a good friend, Alex. But I knew that already. And you mean a lot to me too. Like for example... I wouldn't  actually  throw you down the stairs".

Right as Henry says, "He didn't mean that literally, it's fine if you want to crash with me but you do not have my permission to push Alex out of his own bed".

"Kill joy", George jokes.

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