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Love me like you used to

Chapter 8: What are these feelings?


Ughhh i am trying to keep these chapters a manageable length but it's so difficult lol anyways enjoy 🫶

I always have a lot of fun writing Rin being confused about his feelings he's so silly, giggling and kicking my legs

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text 正文

"Were you having a nightmare, Rin?"

Rin's sleepy eyes, while still adjusting, lingered on the shape of Isagi, who was standing with a soccer ball at his feet, staring right back at Rin.

"...Nngh." "...嗯。"

"I heard you say Sae's name. A lot, actually. I've been awake for a couple of hours."
"我听到你提到了 Sae 的名字。实际上,提了很多次。我已经醒了几个小时了。"

"Shut up," Rin grumbled, "It's too fucking early for your shit, Isagi."

"Well I was getting bored waiting for you to wake up so I went through your stuff and found this ball. I've been practicing heel lifts and stuff like that, anything I can do in this little room."

Isagi demonstrated what he'd been practicing and Rin watched him carefully. It was definitely a heel lift, only...
Isagi 展示了他的练习成果,而 Rin 则仔细观察着他。那确实是一个脚跟抬升,只是...

"Your technique is still shit, Isagi. Seriously, how the hell did you make it this far with such shit technique?"

"Hey! That's not very nice!" Isagi then looked down at the ball shyly. "But... Also I know it's true. I'm trying to improve, y'know?"
"嘿!这么说可不太好!" Isagi 然后羞涩地低头看着球。"但...我也知道这是事实。我正在努力改进,你知道的。"

Rin roused himself from bed, making for the kitchenette in his room to prepare his morning tea and rice.
Rin 从床上起身,走向房间里的厨房准备早晨的茶和米饭。

"Want some?" Rin motioned at Isagi with a teabag.
“来点吗?” Rin 拿着茶包向 Isagi 示意。

"Yes, please," Isagi replied.
“好的,谢谢。” Isagi 回答道。

The pair had morning tea together. Afterward, Rin did his morning meditation and yoga practice, Isagi abandoning his technical practice and joining Rin in this, instead. Once Rin's morning routine was through, he retrieved his language study materials and the pair studied together, Isagi English and Rin German.

They did so for a few hours before Isagi decided it was time for him to make his leave. As much as he really did enjoyed spending time with Rin, he also knew Rin was the type who needed his own personal time, and the younger was seemingly reaching a limit with his patience. So they proceeded to pack the study materials back up and Isagi got himself ready to leave.

"Why are threw and through pronounced the same in English? I don't get it..." Isagi wondered, pulling his jacket over his shoulders and sliding his shoes onto his feet.
"为什么英语里的 threw 和 through 发音一样?我不明白..." Isagi疑惑着,披上外套,穿上鞋子。

"Wait until you find out there are three different theres. That's just how English is, sometimes it doesn't make sense at all."

"Huh. Interesting." "哈,有意思。"

Rin's voice wasn't resonating from behind him as Isagi'd expected but it seemed to be in front of him. After tying the shoelace on his left shoe into a satisfying bow, Isagi glanced upward.

The shape of a hand was placed against the door above him, fingers spread along the polished surface it was pressed against, each one curved inward with pressure. Rin, whose face was concealed beneath the dark fringe of his bangs, was blocking the door.

"Rin...? What is it?" "Rin...? 怎么了?"

Isagi noticed Rin's jaw was clenched, the muscles around it taught with effort.

Truthfully, Rin's heart was still fraught with turmoil. He didn't want to let Isagi leave... Not yet.

He'd completely spaced out for most of the morning while Isagi was studying English. And how couldn't he? He'd tried to concentrate on his own studies but the events of the previous night were still shining hot and bright in his memory.

Rin's gaze shifted down, meeting with Isagi's. He felt the cool, crystal-blue of the ocean current that was nestled deep within Isagi's eyes, permeating back into his soul.

He knew Isagi deserved to hear those words returned to him, along with the sentiment behind them. I love you, too. But as Rin stood there, blocking the door with his hand planted firm against it, he found himself freezing, the words trapped inside his mouth practically begging to be set free.

He now knew it in his heart—he really did—that he had feelings for Isagi. That same love that Isagi genuinely felt for him, and had shown to him, was no doubt reflected back. And he knew he'd absolutely hate himself, far more than he alread did, if he didn't tell Isagi exactly how he felt.

So why was he hesitating?

Perhaps it was because he knew, deep down, even if he felt the same love for Isagi that Isagi felt for him, it would never truly be of the same substance.

Isagi, with his beautiful, warm, cerulean blue-hued soul was picturesquely bold and pure. He undoubtedly loved a love that was capable of breaking down walls, shattering fragile composures, and melting frigid hearts.

And Rin? What sort of substance was his love made of?

He'd never felt romantic love before, and as such, he didn't really know. He really didn't. And it terrified him.

When they'd kissed the night before, had Isagi tasted bitterness or heard glass shattering? Felt barbed wire and rusted nails and dull knives in Rin's kiss back to him? Because Rin knew, as much as he'd tasted honey, heard trickling waterfalls, and felt gentle brushes of fresh grass in Isagi's kiss—there was absolutely no way Isagi had felt the same from him.

After all, even the moon high in the midnight sky, as beautiful and mesmerizing as it was, nestled in darkness with only pinpoints of stars surrounding it, was all but an illusion to those who beheld it. Even in its rapture, when it's at its brightest and most prominent peak, when it shone like a lone pearl nested amongst black silk and silver glitter, the moon was still only reflecting the light from the sun that had died on the horizon the evening before it.

Rin knew he was capable of loving Isagi immensely. But would it be in the way he truly deserved to be loved? Or would it only be a fallacy, utterly paling in comparison to the love the ocean held for the moon?

"Rin? Hello?" “Rin?你好?”

Rin snapped back to reality, scoffing at Isagi who was now standing beside him, clearly ready to leave.

"Are you standing there for a reason?" Isagi mused, grinning as he took a step in closer to his exit, "Or did you intend to keep me here so you can stare at me with that ridiculous look you have on your face?"

Rin's nerves were alight, because as much as he wanted to say what he wanted to say to Isagi, the words would not form. The I love you that was filling his mind and heart threatened his tongue, eager to spill out into sounds off his lips... Only it chose to remain hidden for the moment, eclipsed beneath the shadow that always existed in the dark side of his heart.

"I'll call you," Rin finished, opening the door for Isagi afterwards. This was all he could really manage.

Isagi stood in place quietly for another moment, eyes glinting like drops of ocean and cloud as they reflected the pure white of snow outside—before he smiled softly.

"Good," Rin heard, "And I'll answer. I always will, I promise."
"好," Rin听到,"我会回答。我永远都会,我保证。"

Isagi didn't expect, though, that later that night just past eight-thirty, even though he'd just given the other boy his number that morning, Rin would already take him up on that.

He was shocked by how soon it was, but then again, Isagi had no complaints about this. Rin never really seemed to care all that much about appearances anyway. Isagi answered the call.

"Hey, Rin." "嘿,Rin。"

"Isagi." "Isagi。"

"What's up?" "怎么了?"

"I... I don't know what to do."

"Hm?" “嗯?”

"I feel lost." “我感觉迷失了。”

Lost. Hearing this made Isagi's heart ache deeply... But he somehow thought he knew what Rin meant. How could he not feel that way, on forced stress leave in a foreign country, all by himself with no one to talk to and basically nothing to do? Isagi decided he'd take this opportunity to be a shoulder for Rin to lean on, if that's what Rin wanted.

"Keep doing your yoga practice. Read all those pamphlets the medic gave you, like, all of them. Don't skip any of them. Keep up with a healthy diet and light exercise. And if you need to talk about anything, anything at all, talk to me. Quit bottling things up. That sort of behavior won't serve a purpose for you anymore, it'll only make things worse. Then, hopefully, you'll be back out on the field in no time."

Rin was deathly quiet following this but Isagi could hear the soft static of his breathing on the other line. He smiled a warm smile to himself.

"I'll come see you tomorrow night after practice, if you want."

"... Yeah. Okay." "... 嗯。好的。"

"Good night, Rin."

"G'nite." "晚安。"


After four weeks on his stress leave, Rin was given clearance to return to the field, his blood pressure seemingly having returned back to a healthy level for someone his age. It was short-lived, though, as the team broke for the holiday season two weeks after that in mid-December.

Isagi had visited him almost every night those four weeks of his stress leave, and though Rin wasn't always an easy person to deal with, Isagi was careful and patient with him anyway.

Though Rin's feelings had been uncovered—he now knew that he certainly loved Isagi—something was still holding him back from saying it.

It was a difficult thing for Rin... To confront these feelings he'd kept hidden for so long. Though it did help that Isagi did not seem to expect to hear it back... Not right away, anyway. He must've had some idea of how difficult this was for Rin.

Two days after the holiday break had started, Rin was alone, packing his suitcase, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, examining the text from none other than Isagi.

Isagi: Hey. R u going back to Japan for the holidays?
Isagi: 嘿,假期要回日本吗?

He quicky typed out a response.

Me: Yes. 我:是的。

I'm packing right now. Landing in Japan tomorrow morning.


Isagi: sick! I am going back too
Isagi: 酷毙了!我也要回去

My plane is landing in the evening


Maybe I will see u over the break ?


Me: Yeah. For sure. 我:当然,一定会的。

Text me when you land tomorrow.

Isagi: OK 👍 Isagi: 好的 👍

U too pls 你也一样,请

Mr doesn't-check-his phoen

*phone *手机


Me: I think I could've figured that out without your spelling correction.


Isagi: .....! Isagi:.....!

But I need u to know I can actually spell phoen properly lmfao

***PHONE FFS ***是 PHONE 啦,拜托


Talk to u tomorrow 明天再聊

Rin clicked his phone screen off and replaced it back into his pocket. He was basically done packing so he stood a moment, carefully going through his travel list, considering if there was anything he'd forgotten. From across the room, his eyes landed on something.
Rin 按灭了手机屏幕,将其重新放回口袋。他基本上已经收拾完毕,于是站了一会儿,仔细地检查着旅行清单,思索是否有遗漏之处。从房间的另一头,他的目光落在了某样东西上。

Slowly and deliberately he approached, then knelt beside his dufflebag. Fingers touched at the lacquer keychain Isagi had gifted him for his birthday. He carefully unlooped it from the shoulder strap and shoved it into his pocket.
他缓缓地、刻意地走近,随后跪在他的旅行包旁。手指触碰到 Isagi 送给他的生日礼物——一个漆面钥匙扣。他小心翼翼地将其从肩带上解下,塞进了口袋。


Rin was in his childhood house watching television in his childhood bedroom. He sipped the cup of hot tea he'd made for himself as he flicked through channels for something to watch.
Rin 正坐在他童年时的卧室里,看着电视。他啜饮着为自己泡的热茶,一边切换频道寻找想看的节目。

Being back in this familiar setting was relaxing for Rin. He didn't have to worry about slacking off on grocery shopping and meal prepping because his parents kept the kitchen stocked, nor would he be forced to eat the shit food they served in Blue Lock.

He stopped on a news channel that was talking about a plane that crashed a couple of hours earlier. There was a severe structural failure that hadn't been caught during the pre-flight inspection, apparently.

Rin sighed relief, grateful that it wasn't his plane. However, as he listened further...

"... The plane was traveling from Germany to Japan..."

He froze, dropping the hot cup of tea he was cradling onto the nightstand beside him.

It was then that he realized... He hadn't heard from Isagi. Rin had texted when his plane had landed that morning, but he hadn't heard a word back since then.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket anxiously to check the time. It was 6:58 PM. He immediately got to work drafting a text. However, as he saw the Read at 09:32 AM badge beside the last text he'd sent, he changed his mind and hit the call button instead.
他焦急地从口袋里掏出手机查看时间。已经是晚上 6 点 58 分了。他立刻开始草拟一条短信。然而,当他看到自己最后发送的短信旁边显示的“已读于上午 9:32”标记时,他改变了主意,转而拨打了电话。

Riiiing. Riiiing. Riiiing. Riiiing—

"Hey, this is Isagi Yoichi. I'm currently unavailable, please leave me a message and I'll—"
"嘿,我是Isagi Yoichi。我现在没空,请给我留言,我会——"

Rin hung the phone up, his pulse suddenly hammering in his chest, and he shot up to his feet. Pacing side-to-side in an attempt to calm himself, he glared down at the phone screen at Isagi's non-response, then swore under his breath.

Isagi was probably just busy—

"—emergency response has confirmed there were no survivors found in the wreckage following the plane crash—"

Rin frantically slammed his finger against the call button again, waiting in agony as the phone rang and rang and rang again but once more, Isagi did not pick up.
Rin 疯狂地再次按下呼叫按钮,痛苦地等待着电话一遍遍响起,但又一次,Isagi 没有接听。

"Hey, this is Isagi Yoichi. I'm currently unavailable, please leave me a—"
“嘿,我是 Isagi Yoichi。我现在无法接听,请给我留言—”

Rin hung up again, this time, the force of his finger colliding with the screen sent the device falling onto the carpet beneath him. He knelt to retrieve it but toppled forward, now becoming painfully aware that his legs were weak and trembling.

When he reached out for his phone, laying on the carpet screen-down, he saw trembling paper-white fingers outstretched. His own fingers.

Isagi... You're supposed to text me... Text me when you landed... Where are you?

"—the families of those that passed in the plane crash have already been notified. This will truly be a dark holiday season for many of these families—

Rin's hand was trembling so fitfully now, when he did finally manage to pick up his phone again it immediately fell right back out of his grasp and onto the carpet.

Something like this hadn't happened to him in a long time... Not since the day Sae had returned from Spain, actually. With his breaths coming shallower and shallower, head starting to feel light, Rin knew exactly what was happening to him. He was having a panic attack.
这样的事情他已经很久没有经历过了...实际上,自从 Sae 从西班牙回来那天起就没有过。随着呼吸越来越浅,头也开始感到晕眩,Rin清楚地知道自己正在经历什么。他正在经历一场恐慌发作。

Because if Isagi... If that was Isagi's plane... If he was gone... How could Rin possibly move on from this?
因为如果Isagi... 如果那是Isagi的飞机... 如果他不在了... Rin怎么可能从这一切中走出来?

Isagi couldn't leave him... There was still so much Rin needed to say to him. He couldn't leave Rin like this, terrified. Cold. Alone. Everything else had gone wrong in his life, everyone else had completely forsaken him, was this only to be yet another tragedy for him to endure?
Isagi不能离开他... 还有太多Rin需要对他说的话。他不能就这样留下Rin,恐惧、冰冷、孤单。他生命中的一切都出了错,每个人都彻底抛弃了他,难道这只会是他要承受的又一个悲剧吗?

Shaking violently now and struggling to breath properly, Rin simply flipped his phone over on the ground so the screen was facing up and a quivering finger tapped on the call button.

Riiiing. Riiiing.— 铃铃铃。铃铃铃。——

"Pick up, damnit... Pick up... Isagi—"

"Rin? Hey!" “Rin?嘿!”

Ah. Such relief. 啊,如释重负。

"Isagi... Why... Why didn't you text me when you landed? Why didn't you fucking pick up? I called... Twice..." Rin tried to keep the panic from seeping into his voice but it trembled.
"Isagi... 为什么... 你落地后为什么不给我发消息?为什么不接电话?我打了... 两次..." Rin 努力不让恐慌渗入声音,但还是颤抖了。

"I'm sorry! I forgot to text you. I was so excited to see my parents... Hey, are you okay?"
"对不起!我忘了给你发消息。我太兴奋要见父母了... 嘿,你还好吗?"

"Fuck, Isagi... You said you'd always answer..."
"操,Isagi... 你说过你会一直回应的..."

Rin was struggling to catch his breath, his lungs were feeling tight and his vision persistently unsteady. Still reeling from his panic attack, Rin could only do one thing in response to Isagi's absurd question.
Rin 正努力喘息,肺部感觉紧绷,视线也持续不稳。刚从恐慌发作中缓过来的 Rin 面对 Isagi 荒谬的问题,只能做出一个反应。

He laughed. 他笑了。

Isagi tensed at the sound, though, because it was downright bizarre. It wasn't laughter of joy or happiness or humor, it was a sound that seemed to reflect distress. And this was Rin, the guy who didn't possess a single comedic bone in his body.
Isagi 听到那声音时紧张起来,因为它实在古怪。那不是喜悦、快乐或幽默的笑声,而是一种似乎反映着痛苦的声响。而这是 Rin,那个身上找不到一丝幽默细胞的家伙。

"Rin? What's going—" “Rin?怎么回事——”

"Where do you live?" Rin blurted out.
“你住哪儿?”Rin 脱口而出。

"Um. Saitama..." “呃,埼玉……”

"Send me your address."

Saitama was a few hours away by train, but Rin would go anyway. He had no other choice.

"What? I'm just finishing dinner."

"I'm coming over."

"Oh. Well... I'll ask my parents if you can."

"I'm coming anyway. They can kick me out after I get there if they want but I'm still coming."

"You're acting weird. Is everything okay, Rin?

"Your address, Isagi. Send it."

Rin hung the phone up after this and got to work dressing himself. When Isagi's address popped up in their chat, he put it into Google Maps. By train, it would take him about two and a half hours to get there.

Whatever, Rin thought, scratching a note onto a piece of paper for his parents, who hadn't arrived home from work yet.

There would be no more hesitation from him... This felt like a warning somehow. Rin now believed if he didn't steel himself and take his fate into his own hands, he would end up regretting it.

So, once again, Rin found himself braving the cold outside in pursuit of his destiny.


When Rin found himself in front of Isagi's house it was 9:38 PM and he was freezing. With one hand, he knocked on the door, trying to ignore how nervous he was.
当Rin站在Isagi家门前时,已是晚上 9 点 38 分,他冻得直哆嗦。他单手敲门,努力忽视内心的紧张。

It wasn't only Isagi in there, it was Isagi's parents, too.

When the door opened, it was Isagi himself standing there in the doorway, all beautiful blue eyes and soft dark hair and smooth skin.

"Come on in," Isagi gestured inside his house, smiling, "My parents said you can sleep in the guest bedroom if you want." After Rin stepped inside and started to unlace his boots, Isagi's voice reduced down to a whisper.
"进来吧," Isagi笑着示意他进屋,"我爸妈说如果你想的话,可以在客房睡。" Rin进门后开始解鞋带,Isagi的声音压低成了耳语。

"What's going on with you? Why did you have to come out here tonight? I made up some story about you having a fight with your parents so they'd let you stay over..."

Rin pulled his jacket off and hung it on the coat rack. "I just—"

"You're Yocchan's friend!"
“你是 Yocchan 的朋友!”

Rin looked sideways at the person who'd addressed him. It appeared to be Isagi's mother.

She was shorter than the both of them with honey brown hair and eyes, cheeks sporting a strong natural blush. The shape of her face and eyes as well as her smile were the same as her son's.

"Isagi Iyo, I'm Yocchan's mom," she reached to shake his hand with a smile that reminded Rin of Yoichi.
"Isagi 伊予,我是洋酱的妈妈,"她微笑着伸出手,那笑容让Rin想起了Yoichi。

"Itoshi Rin." He took her hand and shook it.
"Itoshi Rin。"他握住她的手,轻轻摇了摇。

"Of course I know who you are. You and Yocchan made such a great team in the world cup. I don't know anything about football, but it was really wonderful to watch you two play together!"
当然我知道你是谁。你和 Yocchan 在世界杯上组成了那么棒的搭档。我对足球一窍不通,但看你们俩一起比赛真是精彩极了!

Of course she knew who he was. Rin felt like an idiot for introducing himself like that, yet he didn't know what else he was supposed to do. Just assuming she already knew his name and not giving a proper introduction would've probably been rude.

"Your socks look wet, Rin. Wanna come upstairs and I'll get you a dry pair?" Isagi interjected calmly, though the look he gave Rin was questioning.

"Yeah. Thanks." "嗯,谢谢。"

"Would you like some tea, Itoshi-kun?" Iyo asked.
"你要来点茶吗,Itoshi君?" 伊约问道。

"Oh... Um, sure. Thanks. And you can just call me Rin."
"哦... 呃,好的,谢谢。你可以直接叫我Rin。"

"Give me ten minutes then, Rin." The mother of the house shuffled off and around the corner, probably to the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone again.
"给我十分钟,Rin。" 屋子的母亲拖着脚步离开,绕过拐角,大概是去了厨房,留下他们两人独处。

"My dad went to bed early, he's a bit of an early bird like that. Maybe you could meet him tomorrow morning," Isagi explained, leading Rin over to the staircase. They ascended together and Isagi lead Rin into his room.
"我爸早早就睡了,他有点像那种早起的人。或许你明天早上可以见见他," Isagi解释道,领着Rin走向楼梯。他们一起上楼,Isagi带着Rin进了自己的房间。

It was a fair bit smaller than Rin's own room, posters and figures and collector's cards of Noel Noa and other prominent players were lining the walls on the far side near Isagi's bed. Rin was unsurprised that Isagi idolized Noa; he was regarded as the world's best striker, after all.

"You gonna tell me what's going on? Is everything okay? Did something happen?" Isagi pressed, pulling his dresser open to grab a pair of socks.

"Yeah." “是啊。”

Isagi was about to turn back but he suddenly felt arms wrapping tight around his waist, holding him firm in place. When he gazed down, he saw that he wasn't imagining it, after all.

Rin was actually hugging him.

"What is it?" Isagi asked quietly, "C'mon. Tell me what happened."

Rin's embrace only grew tighter, absorbing Isagi's warmth and relishing the feel of him in his arms.

He always knew Isagi was small, but now he could really feel it. Isagi wasn't delicate or anything like that—he was strong for his size, actually. But he was still... Small. The feel of his narrow waistline was a perfect fit in Rin's arms, almost too good to be true.

Rin buried his face into the side of Isagi's neck, warmth radiating off the skin there. A chill from the winter air still lingered on Rin's face, and as such, it caused Isagi to flinch a little.

Isagi was right here in his arms, not out in that plane wreckage. As he stood there with Isagi pulled tight against him, Rin felt in that moment that he never wanted to let him go.

"I had a panic attack," Rin mumbled, the sound of his voice muffled against the skin of Isagi's neck.

"Really? Why? Because I didn't text you?"

"On the news, there was this plane crash... I didn't pay enough attention but for some reason, I thought it was your plane... And you weren't answering me, either..."

"Oh..." Isagi whispered, the exhalation almost more of a gasp.
“哦……”Isagi 低声说道,那口气几乎更像是一声喘息。

"I overreacted. I was being dumb. But I just really wanted to see you after that."


Isagi's hands clasped against Rin's and he leaned backward into the embrace, savoring its warmth and comfort for as long as he possibly could.

Rin had never seemed like much of a hugger to Isagi, for obvious reasons. Actually, he didn't seem like much of a kisser, either. Or an anything-er, for that matter. All of this was a side to Rin Isagi had never seen before. It was startling for him to see, but also so very beautiful for him to behold.
Rin对Isagi来说,从未显得是个爱拥抱的人,这显而易见。实际上,他也不像是个爱接吻的人。或者说,他不像是个爱做任何事的人。这一切都是Rin Isagi从未见过的Rin的另一面。这对他来说是令人惊讶的,但同时也是极其美丽的。

"I love you," Rin whispered, the words rolling off his lips like a sigh of relief, "I really do love you, Isagi."
"我爱你," Rin 轻声低语,话语如释重负般从唇边滑落,"我真的爱你,Isagi。"

He could no longer deny nor shove aside these feelings, and bottling them up forever wouldn't do him any good. Rin knew Isagi deserved to hear it, and he also knew how badly he wanted to say it.
他再也无法否认或压抑这些情感,永远将它们深藏心底对他并无益处。Rin 知道 Isagi 理应听到这句话,他也深知自己有多么渴望说出口。

Love was not a language his heart had spoken for such a terribly long time—he'd been stuck in stagnation, trapped in nothing but cold and dark and utter apathy, closed off to not only everything and everyone around him, but also shut out from himself. From the true Itoshi Rin and all his human thoughts and emotions, basically anything that he believed would tie him down.
爱,已是他心灵久未诉说的语言——他陷入了停滞,困于冰冷、黑暗与彻底的冷漠之中,不仅对周围的一切人和事封闭了心扉,甚至也与自己隔绝。与真正的 Itoshi Rin 以及他所有的人类思想和情感,基本上任何他认为会束缚自己的东西,都隔绝了。

"I love you too, Rin. I really do."

Isagi was completely breathless, caught off guard by this sudden affectionate side Rin was showing him.
Isagi 完全喘不过气来,被Rin突然展现的柔情打了个措手不及。

Sudden for him, maybe, but Rin had been stewing on all these new feelings that were being brought out from deep inside of him since the night Isagi had spent in his hotel room... Since they'd kissed.

Isagi pivoted around in place so they were facing eachother. He stroked a hand across Rin's cheek gently, the graze of his fingertips tingling against Rin's cold skin.

Rin gazed into the deep blue ocean softly, relishing the calm that was washing over him in that moment. It was like a tidal wave sweeping him up, overcoming him with such a vast relief.

Isagi. It was Isagi. Isagi,正是Isagi。

He could feel things stirring in his chest and gut, unfamiliar things. Desire, maybe? It was new for Rin, but he urged himself on to meet with those blossoming feelings that were now filling him, pandering to some need that he didn't even know he had.

Rin leaned forward until their lips touched, a kiss sending warmth and chills across both their necks.

They hadn't kissed since their first kiss, but Rin would be damned if that would be their last kiss. He absolutely couldn't stand the idea of something happening to Isagi or something happening between them and that being both the first and last time they ever kissed. It was almost too much of an idea for him to take.

This kiss sparked a fire which burned hotter than their first kiss—it was less sweet and more savory. Not that he knew what he was doing, but Isagi didn't either, so to hell with it.

The force behind Rin's kiss was arching Isagi backward against the edge of his dresser, which sat about waist high off the floor. Isagi shuffled onto the surface to keep himself comfortable, only Rin pressed in even further, snaking his hands up along Isagi's neck and rifling fingers through his hair.

By the time Rin finally relented, pulling his face back so their lips were only inches apart, Isagi was pushed all the way back against the wall behind him. The porcelain skin on his face and neck were dusted with pink, hair tousled from Rin's hands running through it, and his lips were plump, round, and red as rosepetals.

Isagi's chest heaved a few times with heavy breath. He was about to speak, when—

"Yocchan! Rin-chan! Tea is ready!"

Isagi huffed. "Okay, mum! Be right down!"

At that moment, Rin did have the though that tea would be nice to help warm him up... But he also felt he wasn't done with Isagi yet. However, when he leaned in again, Isagi stopped him by planting a hand against his chest.

"I think that's enough for now," Isagi remarked, grinning with a cocky, toothy smile. "I'm right here. No plane crash. I'm not going anywhere, hm? Let's go have tea with my mom."

"Yeah..." Rin muttered, "Alright."

What, exactly, was this feeling? Rin knew now how deep his love for Isagi truly was—it was as unfathomable as the ocean is deep, that much was now painfully clear to him. But what else was this?

Rin had spent so many of his teenage years suppressing himself in every way possible, burying anything and everything he felt beneath red-hot fury, every emotion, every feeling, every urge Isagi was pulling out of him now was like a completely new experience for him.

Itoshi Rin, 17-years-old, was uncovering the whole truth of his heart's desire for the very first time ever. But more than that—he was experiencing something else that was completely foreign to him. It was a thing that often went hand-in-hand with love... A thing called lust.
17 岁的ItoshiRin,正首次揭开内心渴望的全部真相。但不仅如此——他还经历着某种对他完全陌生的东西。那是常常与爱相伴相生的……一种名为欲望的东西。

Rin stood in the centre of Isagi's room in dumbfounded silence, unable to rid himself of the image of Isagi that was now rooting itself deep in his mind from moments before—the sight of Isagi, shoved against the wall, flustered, with messy hair, pink cheeks and red lips and narrow sapphire eyes shimmering deviously with a small grin to boot.
Rin 站在 Isagi 房间的中央,目瞪口呆地沉默着,无法摆脱刚才深深烙印在脑海中的 Isagi 的形象——看到 Isagi 被推到墙边,慌乱无措,头发凌乱,脸颊绯红,嘴唇艳丽,狭长的蓝宝石眼眸闪烁着狡黠的光芒,嘴角还挂着一丝得意的微笑。

Yeesh. Rin never knew such a thing could leave him feeling so... So bothered.
哎呀。Rin 从未想过这样的情景会让他感到如此...如此困扰。

"Let's go have tea," Rin heard, shaking him out of his daze. He looked up from the floor, his gaze meeting with Isagi's, which was fixed firmly and steadily on him.
“我们去喝杯茶吧,”Rin 听到这句话,从恍惚中惊醒。他抬起头,目光与 Isagi 坚定而沉稳的眼神相遇。

"Sure, Yocchan," Rin teased, hoping the provocation would bring some sort of banter or something else to rid him of these strange new feelings.

Isagi jutted his elbow into Rin's ribcage as they departed the room together.

"Only my parents get to call me that."


Womp womp Isagi's mom the cockblocker