DINNER 晚餐

by Moira Buffini 由莫伊拉·巴芬所著

Scene 1. Aperitif 场景 1. 开胃酒

A table set for a lavish dinner, surrounded by darkness.
一张为奢华晚宴准备的桌子，周围笼罩在黑暗中。
A Waiter stands on the edge of the light.
一个服务员站在光的边缘。
He is formally dressed and holds a chic floral arrangement.
他穿着正式的服装，手里拿着一束时尚的花卉。
Paige enters, dramatically attired.
佩奇走进来，穿着戏剧性的服装。

Paige Am I paying you to stand there?
Paige，我是在付钱让你站在那里吗？
Yes, I think I am.
是的，我想我是。
Don’t move 不要动

Paige approaches the Waiter.
佩奇走近服务员。

Everything you represent thrills me.
你所代表的一切都让我感到兴奋。
May I? 我可以吗？

She kisses him. She puts a thickly stuffed envelope into his pocket.
她吻了他。她把一个装满东西的厚信封放进他的口袋里。

Your fee 您的费用
It’s all in advance as we arranged
一切都是按照我们安排的提前进行的
There won’t be any tip
不会有任何小费
So I’m relying on you to serve with grace
所以我依赖你优雅地服务
In silence. 在沉默中。
When the time comes
当时机到来时

She is interrupted. 她被打断了。

Could you put that on the table, please?
请把那个放在桌子上，好吗？

Lars enters, wearing a casual linen suit. The Waiter places the floral arrangement on the table. Lars is examining his trousers.
拉尔斯走进来，穿着一套休闲的亚麻西装。服务员把花卉摆放在桌子上。拉尔斯正在检查他的裤子。

Lars I’ve got something on here
拉尔斯，我这里有些事情

Paige (to the Waiter) In the middle
佩奇（对服务员）在中间

Lars Some sort of / crusty stuff
拉尔斯某种/脆硬的东西

Paige That’s not the middle
佩奇，那不是中间

The Waiter moves the floral arrangement.
服务员移动花卉布置。

Paige The success of my evening depends on you. So prove capable. I hope your instructions are clear
佩奇，我今晚的成功取决于你。所以请证明你有能力。我希望你的指示很清楚。

The Waiter bows. He exits.
服务员鞠躬。他退出。

Lars I think it might be the cat
拉尔斯，我觉得可能是猫

Paige Where? 佩奇在哪里？

Lars There, on the leg
拉尔斯在那里，在腿上
It’s made a stain
它留下了污渍

Paige Well, it doesn’t show
佩奇，好吧，它并没有显示出来

Lars Maybe I should change them
拉尔斯，也许我应该改变它们

Paige You always do this to me!
佩奇你总是这样对我！

Lars What? 拉尔斯什么？

Paige I am perfectly in control of the situation. You come in harassing me with your pathetic frets and I start to panic
佩奇，我完全掌控着局势。你带着你可怜的烦恼来骚扰我，我开始感到恐慌。

Lars What about? 拉尔斯，关于什么？

Paige The starter 佩奇启动器

Lars What’s wrong with it?
拉尔斯，怎么了？

Paige They might not understand its subtlety
佩奇他们可能无法理解它的微妙之处

Lars Your starters are always fantastic
拉尔斯，你的开胃菜总是很棒

Paige Don’t / mollify me
佩奇，别安抚我

Lars And even if they hate it you can tell them that the main will be well worth the wait
拉尔斯，即使他们讨厌它，你也可以告诉他们，主要内容值得等待

Paige I want the main to be a surprise. I want it to confound them!
佩奇，我想让主菜成为一个惊喜。我想让它让他们困惑！

Lars Well / I’m sure it
拉尔斯·韦尔 / 我相信它

Paige It’s already ruined by that friend of yours being a vegetarian
佩奇，你那个素食主义的朋友已经把它搞砸了

The Waiter enters with modish cruets. He places them on the table.
服务员带着时尚的调味瓶走进来。他把它们放在桌子上。

Lars Her name’s Wynne
拉尔斯，她的名字是温

Paige It’s ludicrous coming to dinner saying, ‘I can’t eat anything that’s been alive!’ She should be eating granite because even the bunny food I’m serving up for her was once alive. It wasn’t sentient; it didn’t have a soul but it photosynthesised. Perhaps I’ll point that out
佩奇，来晚餐时说“我不能吃任何曾经活过的东西”真是荒谬！她应该吃花岗岩，因为我为她准备的兔子食物曾经也活过。它没有意识；它没有灵魂，但它进行了光合作用。也许我会指出这一点。

Lars That would make her feel welcome, wouldn’t it?
拉尔斯，那会让她感到受欢迎，不是吗？

Paige (to the Waiter) We need drinks
佩奇（对服务员）我们需要饮料

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Paige I know this meal’s about your amazing brilliant success and everything, Lars, but it’s my statement. It’s my creation - like Frankenstein’s monster
佩奇，我知道这顿饭是为了庆祝你惊人的成功和一切，拉尔斯，但这是我的声明。这是我的创作——就像弗兰肯斯坦的怪物。

Lars is fiddling with his stain.
拉尔斯正在摆弄他的污点。

Will you listen! 你会听吗！
I don’t live in the fabulous world of profound ideas like you do and food
我并不像你那样生活在深刻思想的美妙世界里和食物中
It takes on a character
它呈现出一种特性
It looms 它在逼近
I’ve had sleepless nights
我经历了无眠的夜晚
With this meal, I’m going to -
这顿饭，我打算 -
Where is everyone, I said seven-thirty!
大家都在哪里，我说七点半！

Lars I expect they’ve got caught in the fog
拉尔斯，我想他们被雾困住了

Paige It’s so rude to be late
佩奇，迟到真是太无礼了

Lars It’s very foggy. I looked out of the window when I was dressing and I could hardly see the pool house
拉尔斯，外面雾很大。我穿衣服时看了看窗外，几乎看不见泳池小屋。

Paige It shows a distinct apathy about coming, a real reluctance, as if they’d rather be in a Little Chef. They’re probably sick with dread. God, if I thought they were going to snub us, I’d kill myself
佩奇这表现出一种明显的冷漠，真正的勉强，仿佛他们宁愿待在小厨师那里。他们可能是因为恐惧而感到恶心。天哪，如果我觉得他们要冷落我们，我会自杀。

Lars What with? 拉尔斯，什么事？

Paige A pump-action automatic shotgun
佩奇 A 泵动自动霰弹枪

Lars What’s wrong with pills?
拉尔斯，药丸有什么问题？

She stares at him. The Waiter enters with drinks. He approaches Paige. She takes one. He approaches Lars. He takes the other.
她盯着他。服务员端着饮料进来。他走向佩奇。她拿了一杯。他走向拉尔斯。他拿了另一杯。

Paige You 佩奇·尤
Are 是

Lars You’re a tad overdressed, my love
拉尔斯，你穿得有点过于正式了，我的爱

The doorbell rings. 门铃响了。

Paige There. The fog has safely spewed up a guest
佩奇在那儿。雾安全地喷出了一个客人。

Lars is on his way to answer it.
拉尔斯正在前往回答它。

Paige Let the waiter go
佩奇，让服务员走

Lars I can get it
拉尔斯，我可以得到它

Paige It’s his job
佩奇，这是他的工作

The Waiter crosses the stage and exits.
服务员穿过舞台并退出。

Lars Did you get him from the usual place?
拉尔斯，你是从那个地方找到他的吗？

Paige No, I found him on the internet. He had his own website
佩奇，不，我是在网上找到他的。他有自己的网站。

Lars A waiter with a website?
拉尔斯，一个有网站的服务员？

Paige It was very well designed. I was intrigued by the wording
佩奇，这个设计得非常好。我对措辞感到很感兴趣。

Lars What wording? 拉尔斯什么措辞？

Paige It said let me hold your coat and snicker
佩奇说让我帮你拿着外套并窃笑

Lars So you don’t know him?
拉尔斯，你不知道他吗？

Paige Not intimately acquainted
佩奇不太熟悉

Lars Did you check his references?
拉尔斯，你检查过他的推荐信吗？

Paige They were excellent. He’s a man of experience
佩奇，他们很出色。他是一个有经验的人。

Wynne enters, taking off cycling paraphernalia. She hands it all to The Waiter. Underneath, she is dressed in Bohemian style.
温妮走进来，脱下骑行装备。她把所有东西递给服务员。她的穿着是波希米亚风格。

Wynne God, I’m so sorry; the fog is unbelievable! I had to cycle right down the middle of the road so I could see the white line
温恩，天哪，我真抱歉；雾真是不可思议！我不得不骑车正好在路中间，这样我才能看到白线

Lars Goodness 拉尔斯·古德尼斯

Wynne And I was really feeling watched, you know, as if there were eyes hidden in the mist, when this moron in a Saab zoomed by and sent me swerving right into one of those gryphon things on your gateposts
温和和我真的感觉被注视着，你知道，就好像雾中藏着眼睛，当时一辆萨博的傻瓜飞驰而过，把我逼得直冲向你门柱上的那些狮鹫

Lars You poor thing
拉尔斯，你可怜的家伙

Wynne Really knocked my knee
温妮真的撞到了我的膝盖

Lars Oh no 拉尔斯哦不

Lars hugs her. Wynne kisses him on the lips.
拉尔斯拥抱她。温恩吻了他的嘴唇。

Wynne It’s so good to see you
温妮，见到你真好

Lars This is my wife, Paige
拉尔斯，这是我的妻子，佩奇

Paige Hello, Wynne 佩奇你好，温妮

Wynne Paige, lovely to meet you
温妮·佩奇，很高兴见到你

She kisses Paige on the cheek. The Waiter exits with Wynne’s things.
她在佩奇的脸颊上吻了一下。服务员带着温的东西离开了。

Paige Lars said you were bringing your other half
Paige Lars 说你要带上你的另一半

Wynne Bob 温博

Paige I’m terribly excited
佩奇，我非常兴奋

Wynne Don’t be 温妮，别这样

Paige I adore politicians. The last one I met came to the door at election time. He was so persuasive I almost had his child
佩奇，我非常喜欢政治家。我遇到的最后一个在选举时来敲门。他的说服力太强了，我差点就想和他生个孩子。

Wynne Um, he’s in the pub
温恩嗯，他在酒吧

Paige I’m sorry? 佩奇，我很抱歉？

Wynne Bob. 温博。
I’m afraid he’s not coming
我担心他不来了

Paige I’m devastated 佩奇，我感到非常沮丧

Wynne Oh 温·欧

Paige He was vitally important to my interesting mix of guests
佩奇对我有趣的客人组合至关重要

Wynne We’ve had a bit of a -
温妮，我们有点-
We’ve just parted company
我们刚刚分开

Lars Wynne, are you OK?
拉斯·温恩，你还好吗？

The Waiter enters. 服务员进来了。

Wynne He’s been seeing someone behind my back
温恩他在我背后和别人约会

Lars Oh no 拉尔斯哦不

Wynne Her name’s Pam
温妮她的名字是帕姆

Lars That’s awful 拉尔斯，那太糟糕了

Wynne She’s a temp with a crush. It’s so tacky
温妮，她是一个有暗恋的临时工。这太俗气了。

Lars You poor thing
拉尔斯，你可怜的家伙

Wynne Don’t be nice to me or I’ll cry
温妮，别对我太好，否则我会哭

Paige You didn’t think of phoning me?
佩奇，你没想过给我打电话吗？

Wynne Pardon? 温恩，您说什么？

Paige To tell me that Bob had a new girlfriend and wasn’t going to come?
佩奇告诉我鲍勃有了新女友，不打算来了？

Wynne I-

Lars Of course she didn’t
拉尔斯当然她没有

Paige Only I have odd numbers now and a spare main, which is a terrible waste. It’ll probably rot in the fridge
佩奇现在我只有奇数，还有一个备用的主板，这真是个 terrible waste。它可能会在冰箱里腐烂。

Wynne I’m sorry but this has just happened. (to Lars) I found a letter. She called him Bobble
温妮，我很抱歉，但这刚刚发生。（对拉尔斯）我找到了一封信。她称他为 Bobble。

Lars You’re joking 拉尔斯你在开玩笑吗

Wynne She said he made her quiver like a jelly
温妮说他让她像果冻一样颤抖

Lars What a cliché
拉尔斯真是个陈词滥调

Wynne She had writing like a child and she signed herself Cuddly Pam
温妮她的写作像个孩子，她签名为 Cuddly Pam

Paige Were you rooting through his personal belongings?
佩奇，你是在翻找他的个人物品吗？

Wynne Only his coat! He tried to tell me that Pam was a harmless fantasy fulfilment and why was I getting so het up? I said a harmless what? He said she was so -
温恩只有他的外套！他试图告诉我，帕姆是一个无害的幻想实现，我为什么要这么激动？我说无害的什么？他说她是如此——
Can I sit down somewhere?
我可以在某个地方坐下吗？

Lars Of course, sorry
拉尔斯当然，抱歉

Wynne So young 温妮如此年轻

Paige (to the Waiter) She needs a chair
佩奇（对服务员）她需要一把椅子

Lars I’ll get one
拉尔斯，我会拿一个

Paige It’s his job
佩奇，这是他的工作

The Waiter fetches a chair from the table. He arranges it for Wynne. Wynne sits.
服务员从桌子上拿来一把椅子。他为温安排好椅子。温坐下。

Wynne Thank you 温恩谢谢你

Paige We need drinks
佩奇，我们需要饮料

Wynne It’s in response 温妮这是回应
He’s never forgiven me for -
他从未原谅我
It was when I put my portrait of his genitals in my exhibition
当我把他的生殖器肖像放在我的展览中时
I’d painted it from memory
我是在记忆中画的
Vigorous 充满活力
And there was purple
而且有紫色
Perhaps I should have called the picture something else but I thought why not call it ‘Bob Patterson’s Cock’? That’s what it is
也许我应该给这幅画起个别的名字，但我想为什么不叫它“Bob Patterson’s Cock”呢？这就是它的名字

Paige (to the Waiter) I said drinks
佩奇（对服务员）我说要饮料

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Wynne He said how could you, it’s nothing like mine
温说你怎么能这样，这和我的完全不同
I said it’s impressionistic
我说这是印象派的
He said look at my balls; they’re falling off
他说看看我的球；它们快掉下来了
I said that’s a dreamlike quality
我说那是一种梦幻般的品质
A cartoon appeared in the opposition newsletter
一幅漫画出现在反对派的通讯中
The Member for Camberwell Green
坎伯韦尔绿区的议员
I meant it as a gesture!
我把它当作一种姿态！

The Waiter enters with drinks on a tray. He approaches Wynne. She takes one.
服务员端着托盘上的饮料走进来。他走向温。她拿起一杯。

Wynne He said I was trying to castrate him
温恩他说我试图阉割他
I said Bob 我说鲍勃
I’m not a feminist I’m an eroticist I’m free about everything I don’t hold back I did it to share why shouldn’t I share my feelings with the world?
我不是女权主义者，我是一个色情主义者。我对一切都很自由，我不会有所保留。我这样做是为了分享，为什么我不应该与世界分享我的感受呢？
He said why shouldn’t I share mine with Pam?
他说，为什么我不应该和 Pam 分享我的？
He was triumphant 他胜利了
I said no wonder she called you Bobble. Your cock’s / like a
我说难怪她叫你 Bobble。你的鸡巴像一个

Lars The man’s a fool. (as a toast) Here’s to freedom
拉尔斯这个人是个傻瓜。（作为祝酒词）为自由干杯

Wynne Freedom 温自由

Lars clinks glasses with Wynne.
拉尔斯与温恩碰杯。

Paige I’ll drink to that.
佩奇，我为此干杯。

Wynne Lars, I love your book, I really, really love it. It’s like everything I’ve always thought only I haven’t known I’ve thought it
温恩·拉尔斯，我爱你的书，我真的，真的很爱它。这就像是我一直以来所想的，只是我不知道我想过这些。
Honestly, I read it and I just thought, ‘Yes!’ It was so -
老实说，我读了它，我只是想，‘是的！’它太——
I mean I know l’ve known you forever but it’s made me feel -
我的意思是，我知道我认识你很久了，但这让我感到——
Oh goodness 哦，天哪
Every time I think of it I know I’m strong
每次我想到它，我知道我很坚强

Lars Well, I- 拉尔斯好吧，我-

Wynne Paige, isn’t it brilliant?
温妮·佩奇，这不是很棒吗？

Paige I haven’t read it
佩奇，我还没读过

Wynne Pardon? 温恩，您说什么？

Paige I thought I’d wait till it came out in paperback. Then I wouldn’t worry if I dropped it in the bath
佩奇，我想我会等到它出平装本再看。那样我就不用担心如果我把它掉进浴缸里。

Lars She thinks of everything
拉尔斯她考虑了一切

Paige I’m just going to put that spare main away for the cat. (to the Waiter) Would you come with me? I want to discuss the dessert
佩奇，我只是要把那块备用主板收起来给猫用。（对服务员说）你能跟我来吗？我想讨论一下甜点。

Paige exits, followed by The Waiter.
佩奇离开，后面跟着服务员。

Wynne It’s genius, Lars, honestly. I was blown away
温恩这真是天才，拉尔斯，老实说。我被震撼了。

Lars I’m glad he didn’t come
拉尔斯，我很高兴他没有来

Wynne The psychological apocalypse is such a brilliant concept
温妮，心理末日是一个如此精彩的概念
Putting a name like that to what so many of us feel I mean, it’s obvious you’ve been through things You know
给我们这么多人感受的东西起个这样的名字，我是说，很明显你经历过一些事情，你知道的
Suffered 遭受

Lars Oh 拉尔斯·哦

Wynne You write with such insight
温妮，你写得如此深刻

Lars Thank you 拉尔斯谢谢你

Wynne And your new morality thrilled me. It’s so bold
温和，你的新道德让我感到兴奋。它是如此大胆。
You’ve said what we all think but daren’t utter
你说出了我们大家心里想的但不敢说的话
Refusing to be dragged down by write-offs
拒绝被注销拖累
Oh… To walk away from the choking weeds that failed us
哦……走开那些辜负我们的窒息杂草
To free oneself from liability, from blame -
要摆脱责任，摆脱指责 -
We think it must be shameful
我们认为这一定是可耻的
But you’re right. It’s a powerful force
但你是对的。这是一种强大的力量。

Lars Be the Phoenix
拉尔斯成为凤凰

Wynne I’m regendering myself right now. This stuff about Bob; it’s just a negative influxion, isn’t it?
温恩，我现在正在重新定义自己的性别。这些关于鲍勃的事情；这只是一个消极的影响，不是吗？

Lars That’s right 拉尔斯，没错

Wynne I can deflect it
Wynne 我可以偏转它

Lars You certainly can
拉尔斯，你当然可以

Wynne Overcome it even at the point of wound entry
温妮即使在伤口进入的时刻也克服了它

Lars You look wonderful
拉尔斯，你看起来真棒

Wynne No I don’t. I’m all splodgy and cryey
Wynne 不，我没有。我全身都是斑点，哭得很厉害。

Lars Think what the woman who’d read my book would say
拉尔斯，想想那个读过我书的女人会怎么说

Wynne She’d say yes  温妮会答应的
I look wonderful  我看起来很棒
Thank you  谢谢你

Lars You’re shining 拉尔斯，你在闪耀

Wynne Lars

Lars An embodiment 拉尔斯体现
Of everything alive 万物生灵

They kiss: illicit, passionate, full of promise. The doorbell rings. They separate as the Waiter enters. He crosses the stage; exits. Paige enters with a drink.
他们亲吻：非法、热情、充满承诺。门铃响了。他们分开，服务员进来了。他穿过舞台；退出。佩奇拿着饮料进来。

Paige Well this must be Hal and Siân. They’re great fun
佩奇，好吧，这一定是 Hal 和 Siân。他们非常有趣。
He’s a scientist; works in the cutting-edge arena of germs
他是一名科学家；在前沿的细菌领域工作
He used to be married to my best friend Mags but he left her
他曾经和我最好的朋友 Mags 结婚，但他离开了她
And now he’s married to Siân
现在他和 Siân 结婚了
She’s a sexpot 她是个性感尤物

Hal and Siân enter. He wears a seen-better-days jacket and tie; she is stunning in black. The Waiter follows them. He takes their coats.
哈尔和西安走了进来。他穿着一件看起来有些旧的夹克和领带；她则身穿黑色，显得惊艳。服务员跟在他们后面，帮他们拿下外套。

Paige Hello newlyweds, lovely to see you
佩奇，您好，新婚夫妇，很高兴见到你们

Lars Come in, come in
拉尔斯进来，进来

Hal We have just had the worst journey. Thought we weren’t going to bloody get here. The fog is unbelievable
哈，我们刚经历了最糟糕的旅程。以为我们根本到不了这里。雾真是不可思议。

Wynne God yes it’s / terrible isn’t -
温恩，天哪，是的，这太糟糕了，不是吗？

Lars Couldn’t see the pool earlier
拉尔斯之前看不见游泳池

Hal Couldn’t see your drive. Been going up and down that lane for about half an hour. Nearly knocked some mad witch off a bike and I don’t know how we’re going to get home. You might be stuck with us all night, Paige!
Hal 看不到你的车道。已经在那条小路上上下走了大约半个小时。差点把一个疯狂的女巫从自行车上撞下去，我不知道我们怎么回家。你可能要和我们一起呆一整夜，Paige！

Paige What fun. (to the Waiter) We need drinks
佩奇，真有趣。（对服务员）我们需要饮料。

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Hal Do you know there was a moment when I thought this is getting really Stephen King, as if any minute Jack Nicholson was going to appear going - (He laughs an insane laugh.) - with a big bloodspattered axe and then the windscreen would shatter and - (He throttles himself.) - curtains. It’s really spooky out there. More than spooky; uberspooky
哈，你知道吗，有一刻我觉得这真的变得像斯蒂芬·金的作品，仿佛随时会出现杰克·尼科尔森，笑着说——（他发出疯狂的笑声。）——手里拿着一把沾满血迹的斧头，然后挡风玻璃会破碎——（他掐住自己。）——就这样结束。外面真的很阴森。比阴森更阴森；超级阴森。

Siân I expect he’s busy getting fat
Siân 我想他忙着变胖

Hal Who? 哈谁？

Siân Jack Nicholson 西安·杰克·尼科尔森

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Lars Hal, this is Wynne
拉尔斯·哈尔，这是温恩

Wynne Hello, super Wynne 你好，超级

Hal Great pleasure 哈，非常高兴

Lars Siân, Wynne 拉尔斯·西安，温恩

Siân Hi

Wynne Nice to meet you
温妮，很高兴见到你

Lars Wynne and I go way back. We were actually at college together and we lost touch for years and years, then, just a short time ago, I decided to go to this life-drawing class and lo and behold, amazing coincidence, Wynne was teaching it
拉尔斯·温恩和我有很长的交情。我们实际上是大学同学，后来失去了联系很多年，直到不久前，我决定去上这个人物素描课，结果，惊人的巧合，温恩在教这个课。

Wynne I couldn’t believe it when he walked in. He was exactly the same. Except for the badges
温恩，我简直不敢相信他走进来的时候。他完全没有变。除了那些徽章。

Lars Do you want to know the truth?
拉尔斯，你想知道真相吗？
I found out you were teaching it before I went
我发现你在我去之前就已经在教它

Wynne Did you? 温妮，你做了吗？

Lars I’d been to your exhibition the week before
拉尔斯，我上周去过你的展览

Wynne Why didn’t you tell me?
温妮，为什么你不告诉我？

Lars I thought it was brilliant
拉尔斯，我觉得这太棒了

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Hal So what do you exhibit?
那么你展示什么？

Lars She’s an artist
拉尔斯，她是一位艺术家

Paige Sadly undiscovered as yet
佩奇遗憾地尚未被发现

Hal Right 哈尔·赖特

Wynne Probably because I’m figurative
温可能是因为我比较形象化

Hal That’s bowls of fruit and stuff, isn’t it?
哈，那是水果和其他东西的碗，不是吗？

Lars It means she can paint. She doesn’t just make crap out of crap and call it art
拉尔斯，这意味着她会画画。她不仅仅是把垃圾做成垃圾然后称之为艺术。

Paige Do you know anything about art, Siân?
佩奇，你知道关于艺术的事吗，西安？

Siân Yes Siân 是的

Wynne So, what do you like?
温妮，你喜欢什么？

Sian I like the graffiti on the back of toilet doors. I saw some today that said Fuck Shit Up. Is that art?
Sian，我喜欢厕所门后面的涂鸦。今天我看到一些写着“Fuck Shit Up”的涂鸦。那算艺术吗？

Paige It’s literature 佩奇这就是文学

Wynne Do you know I’ve got a really funny feeling that I’ve met you somewhere before
温恩，你知道我有一种很奇怪的感觉，我好像在某个地方见过你

Siân Right

Wynne I wasn’t being funny or -
Wynne 我不是在开玩笑或者 -

Hal You’ve seen her on the goggle box
哈，你在电视上见过她

Wynne Are you an actress?
温妮，你是演员吗？

Siân I’m a journalist
Siân 我是一名记者

Hal She’s a newsbabe. Aren’t you, love?
哈，她是个新闻小妞。你不是吗，亲爱的？

Siân (pause) I’m a newsbabe
Siân（停顿）我是一名新闻新人

Wynne That’s right! 温妮，没错！

Siân I decorate the rolling news
Siân 我装饰滚动新闻

Hal Don’t do yourself down
哈尔，不要贬低自己

Wynne That is such a scary job. It must be awful when things go wrong
温妮，那是一份非常可怕的工作。当事情出错时一定很糟糕。

Hal Oh, she thrives on it. Sits there with a smile on her face and drops the other presenter in it
哈，她在这方面表现得很好。她坐在那里，脸上挂着微笑，把另一个主持人陷入困境。

Wynne I’d be absolutely hopeless at it
Wynne 我对此绝对无能为力

Paige Yes 佩奇是的

Wynne And gosh - it must cost you a fortune in suits
温恩，天哪——这一定让你花了很多钱在西装上

Siân I get an allowance
Siân 我有零用钱

Can I smoke in here?
我可以在这里抽烟吗？

Paige You feel free. I’ll spray around in the morning. (to the Waiter) Ashtray
佩奇，你随意。我早上会喷洒。（对服务员说）烟灰缸

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Hal So

You’ve really done it with this book then
你真是做到了这本书

Lars I don’t know
拉尔斯，我不知道

Hal Oh, you have. You’ve really effing blinding done it. You’re for sale on a special stand in John effing Menzies that’s how much you’ve done it
哈，哦，你做到了。你真的太厉害了。你在约翰·曼齐斯的一个特别展台上待售，这就是你做到了的程度。

Lars Well the reviews haven’t all been good
拉尔斯，好吧，评论并不全是好的

Paige Have you read it, Hal?
佩奇，你读过了吗，哈尔？

Hal Yes  哈，好的
Yes  是的
I read it  我读了它

Lars And? 拉尔斯·安德？

Hal Great 哈尔·格雷特
Loved it 喜欢它

Lars You don’t have to lie
拉尔斯，你不必撒谎

Hal No, I did  哈，没错，我做了
Life-changing  改变人生的
Really tip-top  真的非常棒

Siân He said it was as dry as old dog biscuits
西安·赫说这就像老狗饼干一样干

Hal I did not
哈，我没有

Siân But he was freaked / couldn’t finish it
西安，但他感到很害怕/无法完成它

Hal Leave it, honeybunch
哈，别管它，亲爱的

The Waiter enters with an ashtray. He stands near Sian, holding it out for her use.
服务员拿着一个烟灰缸走了进来。他站在 Sian 旁边，把它递给她使用。

Siân He thought it was too nihilistic or something. I thought it was a smorgasbord of syllogisms that ultimately ate itself, but that’s only the opinion of a newsbabe, Lars, so I wouldn’t take it to heart
Siân 认为这太虚无主义了。我觉得这是一场最终自我吞噬的三段论盛宴，但这只是一个新闻小白 Lars 的看法，所以我不会放在心上。

Paige (to the Waiter) What are you doing with that? She doesn’t want to stand there and flick ash on you
佩奇（对服务员）你拿那个干什么？她不想站在那里往你身上弹烟灰

Siann I’ll put it out
Siann 我会把它放出来

Paige No! Why don’t you find something to stand it on?
佩奇，不要！你为什么不找点东西把它支起来呢？

The Waiter removes the ashtray just as Sian goes to stub her cigarette out. It falls to the floor.
服务员在 Sian 准备熄灭香烟时移走了烟灰缸。它掉到了地上。

Sian Sorry Sian 对不起

She grinds it out with her foot.
她用脚把它磨碎。

Paige Waiter 佩奇·韦特
Fuck shit up 搞砸一切

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Well here we all are. I’d just like to say welcome, tremendous congratters for getting through the fog and sorry that we’re odd numbers. Wynne’s lover has just dumped her and can’t attend
好吧，我们都在这里。我想说欢迎，祝贺你们成功走出迷雾，很抱歉我们是单数。温的爱人刚刚抛弃了她，无法参加。

Hal Oh bad luck
哈，哦，运气真差

Wynne 's fine /'s nothing
温的好 /没什么

Paige So that leaves just the four of us to toast Lars and his remarkable achievement in modern philosophy: for the third week running he’s outsold Delia Smith’s Cooking for the Brain Dead. To Lars
佩奇，那么只剩下我们四个人来为拉尔斯和他在现代哲学方面的卓越成就干杯：连续第三周，他的销量超过了德莉亚·史密斯的《脑死亡烹饪》。为拉尔斯干杯。

Hal Well done, mate
哈，干得好，伙计

Siân Yep

Wynne To you 温妮对你

The Waiter enters with a dustpan and brush.
服务员拿着一个簸箕和刷子进来了。

Lars Thank you all very much. It’s actually quite humbling that my book, arguably syllogistic as I’m sure it is, should have tapped the twenty-first century zeitgeist in / quite such a
拉尔斯，非常感谢大家。实际上，我的书，尽管我相信它是有逻辑推理的，却能够触及二十一世纪的时代精神，这让我感到非常谦卑。

Paige Well, our starter awaits, quivering in its prime
佩奇，好吧，我们的开胃菜在它的最佳状态下等待着，微微颤动
Waiter, when you’ve dealt with that we’d like to sit
服务员，当你处理完那个后，我们想坐下

The Waiter nods. He sweeps up the ash.
服务员点头。他扫起灰烬。

Wynne He’s very professional, isn’t he?
温恩，他非常专业，不是吗？

Paige I hope so
佩奇，我希望如此

Wynne Does he do the hoovering too?
Wynne 他也做吸尘吗？

Paige No 佩奇号

Lars Paige found him on the internet
拉斯·佩奇在互联网上找到了他

Wynne Oh, I’m an internet virgin, a total Luddite. I hate the whole idea of it
温恩哦，我是个互联网处女，完全是个技术恐惧者。我讨厌这个想法。

Paige You don’t know what you’re missing
佩奇，你不知道你错过了什么

Wynne So alienating 温妮如此疏离

Paige You can find anything you want on the internet, from plumbers and hired assassins right through to Siamese-twin prostitutes who’ll dance naked in front of your friends
佩奇，你可以在互联网上找到任何你想要的东西，从水管工和雇佣杀手到会在你朋友面前裸舞的连体婴妓女

Hal Is that what you’ve arranged for later?
Hal 这是你为稍后安排的事情吗？

Paige No 佩奇号

Hal Shame 哈尔·谢姆
Ha 哈

The Waiter exits with the dust pan and brush.
服务员拿着铲子和刷子退出。

Wynne Lars has told me all about your dinners, Paige
Wynne Lars 已经告诉我关于你们的晚餐的所有事情，Paige

Hal Oh, they’re famous
哈，哦，他们很有名

Lars She is indeed an artist of the Aga
拉尔斯，她确实是阿加的艺术家

Wynne I can’t wait. I feel very honoured to be invited
Wynne，我等不及了。我感到非常荣幸被邀请。

Paige Well, it was Bob I really wanted to meet
佩奇，实际上我真的想见的是鲍勃

Wynne Oh 温·欧

Lars She’s attempting a negative influxion
拉尔斯，她正在尝试一种负向变化

Wynne Ah, well then 温恩啊，那么
Deflected 偏转

Paige (to Wynne) Wynne, would you like to freshen up before we eat? I can lend you a clean pair of tights
佩奇（对温）温，你想在我们吃饭前整理一下吗？我可以借给你一条干净的丝袜

Wynne (looking down at her laddered tights, dismayed) Oh -
温（看着自己破洞的丝袜，沮丧地）哦——

Paige And Siân, you probably want some mouthwash
Paige 和 Siân，你们可能想要一些漱口水

Siân I’d like a piss actually
Siân 我其实想上厕所

Paige Super. We’ve got two little girls’ rooms; you can have one each. And we’ll leave you boys to discuss the crisis in masculinity
佩奇超级。我们有两个小女孩的房间；你们可以各自拥有一个。我们会让你们男孩讨论男性危机。

Paige, Wynne and Siân exit.
佩奇、温恩和西安离开。

Hal Nice to see Paige on form
哈，看到佩奇状态很好真不错

Lars Yes 拉尔斯是的

Hal You still haven’t told her, then?
哈尔，你还没有告诉她吗？

Lars No 拉尔斯·诺

Hal Right. Tough business
哈，没错。艰难的生意。

Lars How did you do it with Mags?
拉尔斯，你是怎么和 Mags 做到的？

Hal Sorry, mate; can’t go there
哈，抱歉，伙计；不能去那里

The Waiter enters with crockery for soup. He sets it at the table.
服务员带着汤碗进来。他把它放在桌子上。

That’s not what I thought, by the way. About your book. Siân can really put words / in my mouth
这不是我所想的，顺便说一下。关于你的书。Siân 真的能替我说话。

Lars Doesn’t matter 拉尔斯没关系

Hal Well look. I’m going to admit
好吧。我承认。
I didn’t like the whole - I mean what? - psychological apocalypse thing. And the way it’s being marketed like some kind of effing bible when it’s called
我不喜欢整个——我的意思是，什么？——心理末日的东西。还有它被宣传得像某种该死的圣经一样。
I mean I just don’t think you can make a bible out of lack of belief
我的意思是，我只是觉得你不能因为缺乏信仰而编写一本圣经

Lars I’m not trying to
拉尔斯，我不是想要

Hal Oh, come on
哈，哦，得了吧

Lars I’m not 拉尔斯，我不是

Hal Look

I know that we’re born for no reason and survive by accident
我知道我们是无缘无故出生的，偶然生存
I know it every time I look down a microscope and see
我每次看显微镜并看到时都知道
Dumb organisms 愚蠢的生物
Vacuously multiplying, gormlessly devouring, pointlessly expiring
空洞地相乘，愚蠢地吞噬，无意义地消亡
A hideous human death in each one of them like -
每一个人都像是经历了一场可怕的人类死亡 -
Like things you couldn’t make up in a nightmare
就像你在噩梦中无法编造的事情一样

Lars You need to get out of the lab, Hal
拉尔斯，你需要离开实验室，哈尔

Hal What I’m saying is it’s not your nihilism I take issue with
哈，我想说的是，我并不反对你的虚无主义

Lars I’m not nihilistic
拉尔斯，我并不是虚无主义者

Hal It’s your -  哈尔，这是你的 -
Do you know  你知道吗
I think I hate it because you’re probably right
我想我讨厌它，因为你可能是对的
Anyway  无论如何
Been feeling a bit mad lately and that sort of you know - Probably just jealous. I mean, my book’s been lying around covered in mildew in the section marked ‘Geeks’ for effing years
最近有点生气，你知道的 - 可能只是嫉妒。我的书在标记为“极客”的地方放了好几年，满是霉菌。

Lars We’re alone in an uncaring universe, Hal
拉尔斯，我们在一个无情的宇宙中孤独，哈尔

Hal Holy batcrap 哈尔神圣的废话

Lars And the world is a mad cacophony of excess. Every living thing is either consuming or in a state of decay. You’re right, we’re no better than microbes. You can dwell on the fact that our lives have no meaning for as long as you like. You can dwell on life’s pain and life’s injustice. You can latch on to all that negativity like a big sour tit. That kind of thinking leads to the inevitable -
拉尔斯，世界是一场疯狂的过度喧嚣。每一个生物要么在消费，要么处于衰败状态。你说得对，我们和微生物没有什么区别。你可以尽情沉溺于我们的生活毫无意义这一事实。你可以沉浸于生活的痛苦和不公之中。你可以像一个大酸奶奶头一样紧紧抓住所有的消极情绪。那种思维方式必然会导致不可避免的结果——

Hal OK 哈喽 OK

Lars To the psychological apocalypse
拉尔斯到心理末日

Hal So we all go crazy
哈，所以我们都疯了

Lars We perceive the truth of our condition
拉尔斯我们感知到我们状况的真相
Yes, that truth is painful
是的，那种真相是痛苦的
And yes, if one dwells on it in isolation one could go mad
是的，如果一个人孤立地沉溺于此，可能会发疯

Hal Ha

Lars But 拉尔斯·布特
What I have done for those who reach that point
我为那些到达那个点的人所做的事情
That abyss 那个深渊

Is to offer a choice, a cure if you like
是提供一个选择，如果你愿意的话，就是一种治疗

Hal Physician, heal thyself
哈利医生，自愈吧

Lars I say the psychological apocalypse is a cosmic wake-up call. And a position of total despair is a great place to wake from because, Hal, the only way is up
拉尔斯，我说心理上的末日是一种宇宙的觉醒呼唤。而完全绝望的状态是一个很好的觉醒点，因为，哈尔，唯一的出路就是向上。

Hal There’s always down. Things can always, always be worse
哈，事情总会变糟。情况总是可以、总是更糟。

Lars Would you rather consume, or rot? To go back to your microbe analogy, that is the central question. Do you want to eat or have things eat you?
拉尔斯，你是想被消费，还是腐烂？回到你的微生物类比，这就是核心问题。你是想吃东西，还是想让东西吃你？

Hal The whole thing comes down to power for you, doesn’t it?
哈，一切归根结底对你来说就是权力，不是吗？

Lars Power sounds supremacist and my philosophy is not. I call it psyche-drive. With the psyche-drive of the will, you can decide to live and flourish or you can decide to rot
拉尔斯·鲍威尔听起来像是一个至上主义者，而我的哲学则不是。我称之为心理驱动。通过意志的心理驱动，你可以选择生活和繁荣，或者选择腐烂。

Paige appears at the door. She listens, unnoticed except by the Waiter
佩奇出现在门口。她静静地听着，除了服务员，没有人注意到她。

Lars You’ve spent long enough allowing.
拉尔斯，你已经允许得太久了。

Hal You want us to behave like diseases
哈，你想让我们像疾病一样表现

Lars No 拉尔斯·诺

Hal Well, it’s just capitalism gone mad then, isn’t it? Consume / consume
好吧，这就是疯狂的资本主义，不是吗？消费 / 消费

Lars No, no 拉尔斯不，不

Hal And the thing about consumption is that once your host organism is completely devoured - and in our case the host is the planet Earth - once / it’s consumed, you rot anyway!
哈，关于消费的事情是，一旦你的宿主生物被完全吞噬——在我们的例子中，宿主是地球——一旦它被消费，你也会腐烂！

Lars I’m not talking about consumption on a physical level; I’m talking about psyche-attitude. People let themselves putrefy. Look at Mags
拉尔斯，我不是在谈论物质层面的消费；我在谈论心理态度。人们让自己腐烂。看看玛格斯。

Hal Could you just not go there?
哈，你能不能不去那里？

Lars Well, look at Paige then
拉尔斯，好吧，那就看看佩奇吧

Hal Paige is the ultimate consumer
Hal Paige 是终极消费者

Lars Oh, look harder; she’s decomposing
拉尔斯哦，仔细看看；她正在腐烂

Hal So anyone who professes to any pain or weakness is decomposing?
哈，所以任何声称有任何痛苦或虚弱的人都是在分解吗？

Lars It’s their decision: do they indulge or deflect?
拉尔斯这是他们的决定：是沉溺于此还是转移注意力？

Hal What about the meek?
哈，温柔的人怎么样？

Lars The who? 拉尔斯谁？

Hal The unfashionable meek: the selfless, the givers. Blessed are they, Lars
哈尔不合时宜的温顺者：无私的，给予者。祝福他们，拉尔斯

Lars Oh bullshit 拉尔斯哦，胡说八道

Hal For theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven
哈，因为他们是天国的

Lars You don’t believe that
拉尔斯，你不相信那件事

Hal I believe that there’s virtue in / compassion
哈，我相信同情心是有价值的

Lars As Heaven doesn’t exist, the meek are very welcome to it. And so is anyone else who’d rather be dead than alive. I say you can leave pain behind. And I don’t lack compassion. My lessons on psyche-drive and negative deflection come directly from the Buddha
拉尔斯既然天堂不存在，温顺的人非常欢迎它。任何宁愿死去而不是活着的人也是如此。我说你可以摆脱痛苦。我并不缺乏同情心。我的心理驱动和负面偏转的课程直接来自佛陀。

Hal So this new way of thinking, this Nazi Buddhist morality
哈，所以这种新的思维方式，这种纳粹佛教道德

Lars I object to Nazi
拉尔斯，我反对纳粹

Hal How is it for you? In your own life? Not for the superman persona who’s obviously written your book / but for you?
哈，您觉得怎么样？在您自己的生活中？不是那个显然写了您书的超人形象，而是您自己？

Lars There is nothing Nazi in my thinking. How dare you suggest it?
拉尔斯，我的思维中没有任何纳粹的成分。你怎么敢这样暗示？

Hal Anyway, answer my question will you because I can’t believe that you can simply decide to walk away from life’s pain and find yourself free
好吧，回答我的问题好吗？因为我无法相信你可以简单地选择逃避生活的痛苦，找到自己的自由

Lars Look at me, Hal. You know me of old
拉尔斯，看看我，哈尔。你对我很熟悉。

Hal You’re the guy who can see gaps in the despair market
Hal 你是那个能看到绝望市场中的空隙的人

Lars Do I seem different to you?
拉尔斯，我在你眼中看起来不同吗？
Am I raging? Sulking?
我在发怒吗？在闹情绪吗？
Am I agonising over people I’m powerless to change?
我是否在为那些我无能为力无法改变的人而痛苦？
I’m cool Hal 我很酷 Hal

Hal You always were
哈，你一直都是

Lars My friend 拉尔斯我的朋友
You’ve spent your life exploring every avenue of thought
你一生都在探索各种思维途径

You’re a deep-thinking man
你是一个深思熟虑的人

Hal Yes 哈，好的

Lars For your own good
拉尔斯为了你好
Abandon it 放弃它

Hal You want me to abandon thought?
哈，你想让我放弃思考吗？

Lars This self-absorbed negativity. You’re drowning in it. You’ve spent long enough allowing the meek to tyrannise you. It’s time to stop, to let them go
拉尔斯，这种自我中心的消极情绪。你正在沉溺于其中。你已经花了足够的时间让温顺的人对你施加暴政。是时候停止，放手了。

The Waiter is still, looking at Paige.
服务员静静地看着佩奇。

Haven’t you got anything to do?
你难道没有什么事情要做吗？

The Waiter looks at Lars. He exits.
服务员看着拉尔斯。他离开了。

Hal So without all this, um
所以没有这些，嗯
Thought 思考
What am I left with?
我还剩下什么？

Lars Peace 拉尔斯·皮斯

Hal OK 哈喽 OK

Lars Freedom 拉尔斯·弗里德姆

Hal Right 哈尔·赖特

Lars And passion 拉尔斯与激情

Hal Uh-huh 哈嗯哼

Lars The eternal moment of present. Hal, in order to heal you simply abandon yourself to our most powerful instinct, the instinct of I Want. You abandon yourself to the sensual world
拉尔斯现在的永恒时刻。哈尔，为了治愈你，只需将自己完全交给我们最强烈的本能，渴望的本能。你将自己交给感官世界。

Hal Isee
I was hoping you wouldn’t say that
我希望你不要这么说

Lars Why? 拉尔斯，为什么？

Hal I tried it 哈，我试过了
Doesn’t fucking work 他妈的根本不管用

Scene 2. The Starter
场景 2. 启动器

The diners are seated at the table. The Waiter is serving with impeccable grace, ladling from a stylish tureen. Everyone but Paige is unnerved by the colour and texture of the soup. The Waiter finishes serving.
食客们坐在桌子旁。服务员优雅地为大家上菜，从一个时尚的汤碗中舀汤。除了佩奇，其他人都对汤的颜色和质地感到不安。服务员完成了上菜。

Paige We need drinks
佩奇，我们需要饮料

The Waiter nods. He exits.
服务员点头。他离开了。

The diners tentatively start to eat. The soup is disgusting. Only Paige manages to swallow it without extreme difficulty.
食客们小心翼翼地开始吃。汤很恶心。只有佩奇能够毫不费力地吞下它。

I saw Mags the other day, Hal
我前几天见到了 Mags，Hal

Hal Great 哈尔·格雷特

Paige She’s doing really well. They’re allowing her into a halfway house. She might be home in a month or two
佩奇她的情况很好。他们允许她进入一个中途之家。她可能在一两个月内回家。

Hal Yes 哈，好的

Paige And she says the scars look so much better. She’s going to have reconstructive surgery
佩奇，她说伤疤看起来好多了。她将进行重建手术。

Hal I know 哈，我知道

Paige Oh yes, you’re paying for it, aren’t you? She was telling me how lovely and generous you’ve been. She really appreciated That Card
佩奇，哦，是的，你在为此付钱，不是吗？她告诉我你是多么可爱和慷慨。她真的很感激那张卡。

Hal involuntarily gags. The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
哈尔不由自主地呕吐。服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Paige (referring to the empty chair) The invisible guest. No dinner party is complete without one. When we were newlyweds, Lars and I used to have a joke at our dinners. If a guest didn’t arrive, we always called the empty seat Jesus’ chair
佩奇（指着空椅子）看不见的客人。没有一个晚宴是完整的，没有一个这样的客人。当我们刚结婚时，拉尔斯和我在晚餐时总是开一个玩笑。如果有客人没有到，我们总是称空位为耶稣的椅子。

Lars No we didn’t
拉尔斯，不，我们没有

Paige Because I used to say what a great dinner guest Jesus would be. Lars said he didn’t think he could bear entertaining someone who wore sandals, but I thought he’d be witty and provocative and offer interesting carpentry tips. He’d also provide great entertainment raising the food from the dead and whathaveyou
佩奇，因为我曾经说过耶稣会是多么出色的晚宴嘉宾。拉尔斯说他觉得自己无法忍受招待一个穿凉鞋的人，但我认为他会机智而富有挑衅性，并提供有趣的木工技巧。他还会提供精彩的娱乐，复活食物之类的。

Hal Paige, Siân’s a Christian
Hal Paige，Siân 是基督徒

Siân No I'm not
Siân 不，我不是

Hal Yes you are
哈，是的，你是

Sian I am not
Sian 我不是

Hal She’s a Christian
哈，她是基督徒

Siân Christ

Paige I genuinely think Jesus would be a thrilling guest in all but one way
佩奇，我真心认为耶稣在某种程度上会是一个令人兴奋的客人

Siân And what’s that?
Siân 那是什么？

Paige He’d hold us up to judgement. And who’d want that? We’d all get indigestion
佩奇，他会让我们接受审判。谁会想要那样呢？我们都会得消化不良。

Wynne Is there, um 温妮在那儿，嗯
Any meat in this, Paige?
这里面有肉吗，佩奇？

Paige Oh no. Lars told me you existed solely on vegetable matter and I absolutely respect that
佩奇，哦不。拉尔斯告诉我你完全依靠植物性食物生存，我对此非常尊重。

Wynne There’s, um 温恩，有，呃
A flavour I can’t put my finger on
一种我无法确切描述的味道

Paige Well, I suppose there might be the odd zoo-plankton in there - but they’re pretty hard to eliminate in this dish. Would you object to eating zoo-plankton?
佩奇，好吧，我想里面可能会有一些动物浮游生物——但在这道菜中很难去除它们。你会反对吃动物浮游生物吗？

Wynne Idon’t know Wynne 我不知道

Paige They’re single cell animals so I suppose technically they’re meat. I could have the waiter blast it in the microwave for you, then at least you’d know they were dead
佩奇他们是单细胞动物，所以我想从技术上讲，他们是肉。我可以让服务员把它放进微波炉里加热，这样至少你就知道它们已经死了。

Lars What is this, Paige?
拉尔斯，这是什么，佩奇？

Paige It’s soup, my love. Lars loves traditional-type starters. He can’t be doing with mimsy salads and little piles of swept-up, drizzled-on chicken bits. He calls those kind of starters goat poo, don’t you?
佩奇，这是汤，我的爱。拉尔斯喜欢传统类型的开胃菜。他可不喜欢那些花哨的沙拉和小堆洒上酱汁的鸡肉块。他称那种开胃菜为山羊粪，你不觉得吗？

Lars No 拉尔斯·诺

Paige He likes something substantial and as this meal is entirely in his honour I’d thought I’d pull out all the stops
佩奇他喜欢一些丰盛的东西，既然这顿饭完全是为了他，我想我会尽全力准备

Wynne What’s in it?
Wynne 里面有什么？

Paige It’s an onion, celeriac and parsnip base, with algae
佩奇这是一种洋葱、芹菜根和防风根的底料，加入了海藻

Wynne Algae?

Paige Simmered slowly at a very low temperature, in brine
佩奇在盐水中以非常低的温度慢慢煮熟

Hal That would account for the salt, then
哈，那就解释了盐的来源

Paige There’s a bouquet garni in there and a dash of sulphur - which might be that indefinable flavour, Wynne
佩奇，里面有一束香料花束和一小撮硫磺——这可能就是那种难以定义的味道，温

Sian Is it one of those Nigella Lawson things?
Sian 这是那种 Nigella Lawson 的东西吗？

Paige Oh no; it’s such a simple dish. The only thing that’s tricky is getting the temperature to stay low enough - and the cooking time
佩奇，哦不；这道菜实在太简单了。唯一棘手的就是保持温度足够低——还有烹饪时间。

Siân Right

Paige Three weeks 佩奇三周
I was pulling my hair out thinking how can I cook this without Lars knowing? How can I keep it as a special surprise? And I came up with a genius solution. I put the pan on the sunbed out in the summerhouse. That way, it’s had not only heat, but light to photosynthesise. I’ve been out there to stir it every other day and about a week ago I added a sprinkling of yeast
我在想，怎么才能在拉尔斯不知道的情况下做这个呢？我怎么才能把它保持为一个特别的惊喜？然后我想出了一个绝妙的解决方案。我把锅放在夏季小屋的日光浴床上。这样，它不仅得到了热量，还有光线进行光合作用。我每隔一天就去那里搅拌一次，大约一周前我加了一点酵母。

Lars Well, that’s remarkable, Paige
拉尔斯好吧，那真是了不起，佩奇

Paige It’s called Primordial Soup
佩奇，它叫原始汤

Hal Great 哈尔·格雷特

Paige The living starter. Enjoy
佩奇生活的开端。享受

Wynne involuntarily gags.
温妮不由自主地呕吐。

Sian It must be Gordon Ramsay
西安，肯定是戈登·拉姆齐

Paige As a matter of fact, Siân, after a great deal of research and experimentation, I wrote the recipe myself
事实上，Siân，在经过大量的研究和实验后，我自己写了这个食谱

Lars I’d have expected nothing less
拉尔斯，我对你没有其他期待

Paige Then I haven’t let you down
佩奇，那么我没有让你失望

The diners continue in their efforts to eat the soup.
用餐者继续努力吃汤。

This soup is actually in honour of you, Hal
这汤实际上是为了你，Hal

Hal Is it? 哈，是吗？

Paige (to Wynne) Hal is a world expert on microbes
佩奇（对温）哈尔是微生物方面的世界专家

Wynne Oh 温·欧

Paige He wrote a fascinating book a number of years ago called The Microbe Within. It was very informative; lovely diagrams - but it didn’t quite get that Nobel Prize, did it, Hal?
佩奇·赫写了一本几年前非常吸引人的书，名为《内在微生物》。这本书信息量很大；图表也很美丽——但它并没有获得诺贝尔奖，对吧，哈尔？

Hal No, Paige, it didn’t
哈，没错，佩奇，它没有

Wynne What are you working on at the moment?
Wynne 你现在在做什么？

Hal It’s not interesting
哈尔，这没什么意思

Wynne I’m sure it is. I’m mesmerised by science. Every-one’s saying it’s the new art
温恩，我相信是的。我被科学迷住了。每个人都在说这是新的艺术。

Hal Really?

Wynne It would be so easy for you to make art out of your job and for me to make science out of mine
温恩，你把工作变成艺术对你来说是如此简单，而我把工作变成科学对我来说也是如此

Hal Would it? 哈，会吗？

Wynne Oh yes. You could do an exhibition of microbes you know; project magnified images or paint representations of them breeding or eating other microbes or whatever microbes do. Because I’m sure - and I’ll bet a lot of people don’t think about this - that when you’re close up to microbes, they’re actually rather beautiful
温恩哦，是的。你可以做一个微生物的展览；展示放大图像或绘制它们繁殖或吃其他微生物或微生物所做的事情的表现。因为我相信——我敢打赌很多人没有想到这一点——当你近距离观察微生物时，它们实际上是相当美丽的。

Hal I’ve never thought about their aesthetic
哈，我从未考虑过他们的美学

Wynne And I could do the science of art with prisms and things. The boundaries between art and science are almost non-existent these days, don’t you think, Hal?
温和我可以用棱镜和其他东西来做艺术的科学。你不觉得现在艺术和科学之间的界限几乎不存在吗，Hal？

Hal Sure 哈尔·舒尔

Wynne What exactly are you working on?
Wynne 你到底在做什么？

Hal It’s really not interesting
哈尔，这真的没什么趣味

Lars (to the Waiter) Could we have some Parmesan cheese?
拉尔斯（对服务员）我们可以要一些帕尔马干酪吗？

Paige You'll spoil it
佩奇，你会把它搞坏的

Lars I’d like some Parmesan cheese
拉尔斯，我想要一些帕尔马干酪

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Siân (to Wynne) He’s studying the microbes in sheepshit
西安（对温恩说）他正在研究羊粪中的微生物

Hal That’s not what I’m doing
哈，那不是我在做的

Siân If it’s not sheepshit it’s pigshit or something
Siân 如果不是羊屎就是猪屎或其他什么的

Hal That Is Not What I Am Doing
哈尔，那不是我正在做的事情

Wynne You know that’s why I would never ever eat meat. We just don’t know what’s in it these days. Are you looking for mutancy and hideous diseases?
温妮，你知道这就是为什么我永远不会吃肉。我们现在根本不知道里面有什么。你是在寻找突变和可怕的疾病吗？

Hal No 哈尔·诺

The Waiter enters with Parmesan cheese. He serves Lars.
服务员端着帕尔马干酪进来。他为拉尔斯服务。

Wynne Because we pump them full of hormones and steroids and antibiotics, we feed them on bone slurry and keep them in cages where they develop muscular atrophy and drink each others’ urine. Even seafood is caged now. Do you know, they’re trying to breed de-sexed crabs so they don’t go mad and kill each other in their overcrowded farming tanks and they’re covered in vile moulds and sea lice and their eyes are all cataracted and -
温因因为我们给它们注射激素、类固醇和抗生素，喂它们骨浆，把它们放在笼子里，让它们出现肌肉萎缩，喝彼此的尿液。即使是海鲜现在也被圈养。你知道吗，他们正在尝试繁殖去性别的螃蟹，以免它们在过度拥挤的养殖水箱中发疯并互相残杀，而且它们身上覆盖着可怕的霉菌和海虱，眼睛都得了白内障——

Paige The main course is seafood
佩奇主菜是海鲜

Wynne Oh 温·欧

Paige So, a lot to look forward to
Paige 所以，有很多值得期待的事情

Hal My work has nothing to do with sheep or cows or any other farmyard animal, Wendy. That’s just Siân’s little joke
哈，我的工作与羊、牛或其他任何农场动物无关，温迪。这只是西安的小玩笑。

The Waiter is offering Wynne Parmesan cheese.
服务员正在给 Wynne 提供帕尔马干酪。

Paige (to the Waiter) What are you doing with that? No one else wants it
佩奇（对服务员）你拿那个干什么？没有人想要它

Siân I’ll have some
Siân 我会要一些

Paige Take it away
佩奇，开始吧

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Wynne So what are you doing, Hal? Or do you just not want to talk about it?
温妮，你在做什么，哈尔？还是说你只是不想谈论这个？

Hal I’d love to talk about it, Wendy. But I can’t
哈，我很想和你谈谈，温迪。但我不能。

Wynne You don’t have to be embarrassed
温妮，你不必感到尴尬

Hal I’ve signed the Official Secrets Act
哈，我已经签署了《官方机密法》

Wynne Oh 温·欧

Lars He works for the Government
拉尔斯为政府工作

Wynne Oh my God
温妮哦，我的天哪

Hal In a minor capacity
哈尔在一个小的角色中

Wynne Biological warfare
温恩生物战

Hal What on earth makes you say that?
哈尔，你到底为什么这么说？

Wynne Well I don’t know
温恩我不知道
James Bond and things
詹姆斯·邦德和事情

Hal How could this country possibly be involved in something like that?
哈，怎么可能这个国家会卷入这样的事情呢？

Wynne Well, I’m sure it’s not, but -
温恩好吧，我相信这不是，但——

Hal But nothing. It isn’t. And neither am I
哈，但没有。它不是。我也不是。

Wynne I wasn’t being serious. I mean, I hope you don’t think I’m some sort of, you know, anti-whatnot person
温恩，我不是认真的。我的意思是，我希望你不要认为我是什么反对什么的人。

Siân Hal’s very touchy about his work
Siân Hal 对他的工作非常敏感

Hal As a matter of fact, Wendy, I work for the Ministry of Health
实际上，温迪，我在卫生部工作

Sian Torturing lab rats
Sian 折磨实验室老鼠

Hal Why are you -
哈尔，你为什么 -
I mean what is the -
我的意思是 -

Siân What? Siân 什么？

Hal Is this because I called you a newsbabe?
哈，这是不是因为我叫你新闻小妞？

Siân No

Hal Because that was a joke. It was an effing joke, OK?
哈，因为那是个笑话。这是个他妈的笑话，明白吗？

Siân Sure, whatever 西安当然，随便

Hal Meet Siân, everybody. She’s a journalist. She wants you all to know that her skill at reading an autocue has nothing to do with the way she looks
大家好，认识一下 Siân。她是一名记者。她想让你们知道，她阅读提词器的技巧与她的外貌无关。

Siâ lights a cigarette.
Siâ 点燃了一支香烟。

Wynne Um, Hal, my name isn’t Wendy
温妮嗯，哈尔，我的名字不是温迪

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Wynne You called me Wendy just then and my name’s actually Wynne
温妮，你刚才叫我温迪，但我的名字其实是温妮

Hal I’m so sorry. Wynne
哈，我很抱歉。温妮

The doorbell rings. 门铃响了。

Lars Are we expecting anyone else?
拉尔斯，我们还在期待其他人吗？

Paige No 佩奇号

Lars (getting up) No biblical figures or Siamese twins?
拉尔斯（起身）没有圣经人物或暹罗双胞胎吗？

Paige Sadly not 佩奇可惜不行

Wynne It might be Bob
温恩可能是鲍勃

Paige Let the waiter go
佩奇，让服务员走

Lars I can get it
拉尔斯，我可以得到它

Paige It’s his job
佩奇，这是他的工作

The Waiter enters. He crosses the stage and exits.
服务员进来。他穿过舞台并退出。

Paige Would anyone like any more? The great thing about this dish is that the leftovers breed, so you never completely run out. Hal, can I tempt you?
佩奇，还有人想要更多吗？这道菜的好处在于剩菜会不断增殖，所以你永远不会完全用完。哈尔，我能诱惑你吗？

Hal I’m saving myself for the main
哈，我在为主要活动保存自己

Paige The other extraordinary thing about this starter is that it creates its own oxygen. If you were to take it to Mars, lift the lid of the tureen and come back in a billion years or so, you’d find you were stepping into a new Eden. This soup is an irrepressible force of life. And that’s why I wanted to share it with you all. When we’re surrounded by so much excess I think it’s wonderful to remember that we were once such persistent slime
佩奇这个开胃菜的另一个非凡之处在于它能创造自己的氧气。如果你把它带到火星，打开汤锅的盖子，过个十亿年再回来，你会发现自己走进了一个新的伊甸园。这汤是一种不可抑制的生命力量。这就是我想和大家分享它的原因。当我们被如此多的奢侈包围时，我认为记住我们曾经是如此顽强的泥浆是件美妙的事情。

Lars Bravo 拉斯·布拉沃

Siân Slime is the agony of water
Siân Slime 是水的痛苦

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Siân Sartre 西安·萨特

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Mike is shown in by the Waiter. He’s in his twenties, wearing nondescript clothes. He seems to be waiting for the Waiter to speak.
迈克被服务员带进来。他二十多岁，穿着普通的衣服。他似乎在等待服务员说话。

Lars Can we help you?
拉尔斯，我们能帮你吗？

Mike Um, I asked him if I could borrow a phone. I’ve had an accident down on the lane and -
迈克，嗯，我问他我是否可以借用一部手机。我在小路上发生了事故——

Siân turns. Mike sees her.
Siân 转身。Mike 看到她。

Oh my God. You’re thing
哦，我的天。你在说什么
Off the news 离开新闻
You were on this morning
你今天早上在这里

Siân Yes Siân 是的

Mike That bit about cluster bombs
迈克关于集束炸弹的那部分

Siân Right

Mike They’re fucking evil, aren’t they?
迈克他们真是太邪恶了，不是吗？

Siân Yes Siân 是的

Paige Who are you and what do you want?
佩奇，你是谁，你想要什么？

Mike Um, just a phone. Um, my van… It’s gone into your gatepost. I’m very sorry but I just couldn’t see. / I came out of the corner and -
迈克，嗯，只是一个电话。嗯，我的面包车……它撞上了你的门柱。我非常抱歉，但我真的看不见。/ 我从拐角出来时——

Wynne Oh, you poor thing
温妮哦，你可怜的东西

Mike I’m really sorry to bother you but I need to use a phone. (to Siân) I can’t believe you’re in here. I must be concussed
迈克，我真的很抱歉打扰你，但我需要用一下电话。（对西安说）我真不敢相信你在这里。我一定是脑震荡了。

Paige Have you damaged our property?
佩奇，你损坏了我们的财产吗？

Mike I think my van came out worse. But one of those eagle things you’ve got on your gates fell off and I think it’s broken its nose
迈克，我觉得我的面包车变得更糟了。但是你们大门上的那些鹰的东西掉下来了，我觉得它的鼻子坏了。

Paige Its beak 佩奇它的喙

Wynne He’s bleeding 温妮他在流血

Mike If you could just let me use a phone
迈克，如果你能让我用一下电话就好了

Wynne From his cheek, look
温从他的脸颊上，看

Mike I need to call out a tow truck
迈克，我需要叫一辆拖车

Paige Waiter? 佩奇·韦特？
Show him the door
把他送出去

Lars Paige? 拉尔斯·佩奇？

Paige There’s a phone box down by the traffic lights. I suggest you use that
佩奇，交通灯旁边有一个电话亭。我建议你使用那个。

Lars What? 拉尔斯什么？

Wynne He’s cut himself
温恩他割伤了自己

Paige He’s damaged our property
佩奇损坏了我们的财产

Lars The man only wants to make a phone call
拉尔斯这个人只想打个电话

Paige (to the Waiter) Show him out
佩奇（对服务员）把他带出去

Lars No. He can make his call and sit in the warmth while he waits for help
拉尔斯不。他可以打电话并在温暖中等待帮助。

Mike Look, I’ll go
迈克，看，我要走了

Lars No 拉尔斯·诺

Mike I / don’t want to cause
迈克，我不想造成

Lars It’s no problem
拉尔斯，没问题

Paige Show him out
佩奇，把他送出去

Lars (to Paige) What’s the matter with you? Waiter, take his coat
拉尔斯（对佩奇）你怎么了？服务员，帮他拿外套

Mike It’s OK, I’ll go
迈克，没关系，我会去

Paige Show him out!
佩奇，把他送出去！

Lars Take his coat!
拉尔斯，拿上他的外套！

Paige (to the Waiter) Remember what you’re here for and be very, very careful what you do
佩奇（对服务员）记住你来这里的目的，做事时要非常非常小心

Lars Why don’t you join us? / There’s a spare place here. Take the weight off your feet and the waiter will bring you a phone in a minute
拉尔斯，为什么不和我们一起呢？/ 这里有个空位。放松一下，服务员马上就会给你拿来一部电话。

Paige You’ve walked in on a very special party. You haven’t been invited and I think you should leave
佩奇，你闯入了一个非常特别的派对。你没有被邀请，我认为你应该离开。

Lars He’s not leaving this house until we’ve helped him!
拉尔斯，他不会离开这个家，直到我们帮助他！

Mike Actually, I’m going
迈克其实，我要去

Paige Very sensible 佩奇非常明智

Lars NO, TAKE HIS COAT NOW
拉尔斯，不要，现在就把他的外套拿来

Mike Really, I’m -
迈克真的，我是 -

Lars SIT DOWN 拉尔斯，坐下

Pause. 暂停。

Paige Waiter, would you take the gentleman’s coat before my husband reaches apoplectic collapse?
佩奇·韦特，请在我丈夫快要气得崩溃之前，帮这位绅士拿下外套好吗？

The Waiter removes Mike’s coat.
服务员拿走了迈克的外套。

Mike I only want to / use a phone; I’ll be
迈克，我只想用手机；我会的

Paige We need drinks
佩奇，我们需要饮料

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

May we know your name?
请问您叫什么名字？

Mike Mike 迈克迈克

Paige Well, Mike 佩奇好的，迈克
I’m Paige 我是佩奇
This is Lars, my husband, who hasn’t lost his temper since 1999
这是拉尔斯，我的丈夫，自 1999 年以来他没有发过脾气
And these are our guests: Wynne, she’s an artist, Hal, a very famous microbiologist, and his wife Siân, who you know
这些是我们的客人：Wynne，她是一位艺术家，Hal，一位非常著名的微生物学家，还有他的妻子 Siân，你认识的

Siân Hi

Mike Hi 迈克嗨

Hal Bad luck about your van
哈，关于你的面包车真倒霉

Wynne (getting up) Mike, you’ve got to let me look at that cut for you
温（起身）迈克，你得让我看看你那道伤口

Mike It’s OK 迈克，没关系

Wynne Paige, have you got an Elastoplast?
Wynne Paige，你有创可贴吗？

Paige No. Tonight, Mike, we’re having a little party; just a few close friends to celebrate the successful publication of my husband’s book
佩奇号。今晚，迈克，我们要举办一个小派对；只有几个亲密的朋友来庆祝我丈夫书籍的成功出版。

Mike Right 迈克·赖特

Paige You might have heard of it. It’s called Beyond Belief
佩奇，你可能听说过它。它叫做《超越信仰》。

Mike Is it a thriller?
迈克，这是部惊悚片吗？

Paige Lars, is it a thriller?
佩奇·拉尔斯，这是一部惊悚片吗？

Lars No 拉尔斯·诺

Wynne It’s a guidebook, Mike, a guidebook to life
温恩，这是一本指南，迈克，生活的指南

Hal Modern philosophy, mate
哈尔现代哲学，伙计

Mike Oh, I know. Like one o’ them Armchairs of the Gods books
迈克，哦，我知道。就像那些《神之扶手椅》书一样。

Lars I’m sorry? 拉尔斯，我很抱歉？

Wynne is fussing over Mike’s cut with her napkin.
温妮正在用她的餐巾纸处理迈克的伤口。

Mike (flinching) Um, I’m fine
迈克（畏缩）嗯，我很好

Wynne It must hurt terribly
温妮，这一定非常痛苦

Mike It’s OK 迈克，没关系

Wynne Poor you 温恩可怜的你

Paige Lars? 佩奇·拉尔斯？

Lars What? 拉尔斯什么？

Paige What do you suppose Mike means by Armchairs of the Gods? Do you think he might be equating your insightful philosophical text with the ‘Aliens Built the Pyramids’ genre?
佩奇，你认为迈克所说的“神的扶手椅”是什么意思？你觉得他可能是在将你那富有洞察力的哲学文本与“外星人建造金字塔”这一类型相提并论吗？

Lars I’m sure Mike doesn’t mean any offence
拉尔斯，我相信迈克并没有冒犯的意思

Paige What if he does?
佩奇，如果他真的这样做呢？

Lars Why would he?
拉尔斯他为什么要这样做？

Paige Would you still want him to stay?
佩奇，你还希望他留下来吗？

Lars (standing) Paige 拉尔斯（站着）佩奇
I have a request
我有一个请求

Paige What’s that, my love?
佩奇，亲爱的，那是什么？

Pause. 暂停。

Lars (to Mike) Make yourself at home, mate
拉尔斯（对迈克）让自己随意点，伙计
Excuse me 对不起

Lars exits. Wynne goes to follow him.
拉尔斯离开了。温恩去跟随他。

Paige (to Wynne) Where are you going?
佩奇（对温恩）你要去哪里？

Wynne Well… is he all right?
温恩，嗯……他还好吗？

Paige He’s in shock. Helping Mike is the first altruistic thing he’s done since he adopted a penguin at London Zoo for my birthday last year. I expect he’s gone to fetch you all our jewels and valuables
佩奇他很震惊。帮助迈克是他自去年在伦敦动物园为我生日收养企鹅以来做的第一件无私的事情。我想他是去给你们拿我们所有的珠宝和贵重物品。

Mike What d’you mean?
迈克，你是什么意思？

Paige Well, that is why you’re here, isn’t it?
佩奇，嗯，这就是你在这里的原因，不是吗？

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Mike I don’t understand why you’d say that
迈克，我不明白你为什么会这么说

Paige What do you want?
佩奇，你想要什么？

Mike I just want a phone. My van’s / gone into -
迈克，我只想要一部手机。我的面包车已经坏了。

Paige That’s the most stupid story I’ve ever heard
佩奇，这是我听过的最愚蠢的故事

Mike You can go out and look
迈克，你可以出去看看

Paige And find the place ransacked when we get back?
Paige，等我们回来时找到被洗劫的地方吗？

Mike Why would I want to ransack your place?
迈克，我为什么要洗劫你的地方？

Paige Well, everyone wants something, Mike
佩奇好吧，大家都想要一些东西，迈克

Mike If I’d come to steal from you, why would I knock on the door? I’d go round the back, wouldn’t I , and break in
迈克，如果我来偷东西，为什么要敲门呢？我会从后面绕过去，不是吗，然后破门而入

Paige Would you now?
佩奇，你现在会吗？

Mike I rang your bell; he let me in. If you didn’t want strangers in here you should’ve told him
迈克，我按了你的门铃；他让我进来了。如果你不想让陌生人进来，你应该告诉他。

Paige No one blows in here off the street
佩奇没有人会从街上闯进这里

Mike And if you tell him to bring me back my coat / I’ll put it on and go
迈克，如果你告诉他把我的外套带回来，我就会穿上它然后走

Paige What do you want?
佩奇，你想要什么？

Hal Paige, he’s just a kid
哈尔·佩奇，他只是个孩子

Mike My name is Mike
迈克，我的名字是迈克
My van’s in a ditch
我的面包车在沟里
I asked for simple help
我请求了简单的帮助
Fuck, I should of known better asking from people like you
该死，我应该知道向你这样的人询问是个错误
What a waste o’ time
真是浪费时间

Paige What do you mean, people like us?
佩奇，你是什么意思，人们像我们一样？

Mike Rich cunts 迈克·里奇的混蛋

Wynne Oh, I can’t bear that word
温恩哦，我无法忍受那个词

Hal No call for that, mate. You’d better steady on
别这样，伙计。你最好冷静点。

Paige Less than one minute and he’s held us up to judgement He’s worse than Jesus
佩奇不到一分钟，他就把我们拖到了审判面前。他比耶稣还糟

The Waiter is offering Mike and Paige drinks.
服务员正在为迈克和佩奇提供饮料。

Mike Could I have my coat back, please?
迈克，我可以要回我的外套吗？

Paige You don’t really want to leave, do you?
佩奇，你真的不想离开，对吧？

Mike I want my coat
迈克，我想要我的外套

Paige Take a drink first
佩奇，先喝一口

Mike No thank you
迈克，不，谢谢

Paige Go on 佩奇，继续

Mike Would you get me my coat, please?
迈克，你能帮我拿一下外套吗？

Paige Join us for a drink, Mike
佩奇，和我们一起喝一杯吧，迈克

Mike Why? 迈克，为什么？

Paige See how the rich cunts live
佩奇，看看那些富有的混蛋是怎么生活的

Hal Paige
Give him his coat and let him go
把他的外套给他，让他走

Paige Pick one up  佩奇，捡起一个
Sip it  小口喝它
It’s like ambrosia  这就像神仙美食
The gods themselves drink stuff like this
神灵们自己也喝这样的东西
Sitting in their armchairs
坐在他们的扶手椅上

Mike takes a drink.
迈克喝了一口。

Bravo

Paige takes one. She clinks Mike’s glass. They drink. Mike downs his in one. He wipes his mouth.
佩奇喝了一杯。她碰了碰迈克的杯子。他们喝酒。迈克一口喝完。他擦了擦嘴。

Mike Babycham 迈克·贝比查姆

Paige I’d like you to join us for dinner
佩奇，我希望你能和我们一起吃晚餐

Hal Oh, come on
哈，哦，得了吧

Paige Why have an empty seat in the pleasuredome when we could extend a benevolent hand to a stranger? It’s what Lars wants. Mike, on his behalf, I’m inviting you to join us
Paige 为什么在欢乐殿堂里有一个空位，而我们可以向陌生人伸出友善的手？这正是拉尔斯想要的。迈克，代表他，我邀请你加入我们。

Mike No thank you
迈克，不，谢谢

Paige Why not? 佩奇为什么不呢？

Mike I couldn’t 迈克，我做不到

Paige Have you eaten already?
佩奇，你吃过了吗？

Mike I’m not hungry
迈克，我不饿

Paige That doesn’t matter
佩奇，这没关系

Mike I’d rather sit in my van
迈克，我宁愿坐在我的面包车里

Paige It’s no imposition
佩奇，这并不是一种强加

Mike I wouldn’t care if it was
迈克，我不在乎这是否是

Paige That’s why I’m inviting you
佩奇，这就是我邀请你的原因

Mike I might pick your pockets
迈克，我可能会掏你的口袋

Paige This outfit doesn’t have them
Paige 这套衣服没有它们
You won’t get a tow truck for hours in all that fog. You might as well stay
在那浓雾中，你几个小时都叫不到拖车。你不如待在这里。

Siân Come on, sit down. The food’s great
Siân 来吧，坐下。食物很好。

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Paige There’s even a place set for you
佩奇，甚至为你准备了一个座位

Siân Jesus’ chair Siân Jesus 的椅子

Paige Take it. We’re all dying to know if you think we’re redeemable
佩奇，拿着。我们都很想知道你是否认为我们是可以救赎的。

Wynne Mike, look. I’d be very happy for you to stay but I really object to that word that you just said
温恩·迈克，听着。我很高兴你能留下，但我真的反对你刚才说的那个词。

Mike Then I’m sorry for saying it
迈克，那么我为说这句话感到抱歉

Paige Wynne hates anyone calling her rich
佩奇·温恩讨厌任何称她为富有的人

Mike I see 迈克，我看到了

Paige So that’s settled. You’ll stay
佩奇，那就决定了。你会留下。

Mike Well, I could try to make a dash for it but (referring to the Waiter) I don’t think I’d get past him. You got me trapped, Paige
迈克好吧，我可以试着冲出去，但（指着服务员）我觉得我过不去你那里。你把我困住了，佩奇。

Paige Mike 佩奇·迈克
Welcome to dinner 欢迎参加晚餐

Scene 3. The Main
场景 3. 主场

Mike is seated at the table with the other diners. The soup dishes have been cleared. The Waiter is laying out all the equipment needed for the consumption of lobsters.
迈克和其他食客一起坐在桌子旁。汤碗已经被清理干净。服务员正在摆放吃龙虾所需的所有器具。

Mike So when I came out of the army I didn’t really know what to do with myself. All my friends were going into full-time alcoholism or the prison service but I knew that wasn’t for me, so I started up this business doing removals, deliveries, property relocation, that kind of thing
迈克所以当我退伍时，我真的不知道该如何安排自己。我的所有朋友都在全职酗酒或进入监狱服务，但我知道那不是我想要的，于是我开始做这个搬家、送货、房产搬迁之类的生意。

Wynne That’s amazing 温恩，太棒了！

Mike Not really 迈克其实不是

Wynne You’re an entrepreneur
温恩，你是一位企业家

Mike More of a van driver
迈克更多的是一名货车司机

Hal So what’s the most interesting thing you’ve ever had in the back of your van, Mike? Apart from your girlfriend, of course
哈，所以你在面包车后面遇到过的最有趣的事情是什么，迈克？当然，除了你的女朋友

Mike Well, Hal, this one guy I was helping was a reptile freak and he had a collection of snakes and lizards and this chameleon, which really did change colour. Its eyes swivelled round; it had feet like pincers and a tongue like a coiled spring
迈克好吧，哈尔，我帮过的一个家伙是个爬行动物迷，他有一堆蛇和蜥蜴，还有一只真的会变色的变色龙。它的眼睛可以转动；它的脚像钳子，舌头像一个卷起来的弹簧。

Hal Bit like Siân
Hal 有点像 Siân

Mike It was the most amazing living thing I’ve ever seen
迈克，这是我见过的最神奇的生物

Paige We need drinks
佩奇，我们需要饮料

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Wynne Do you miss the army, Mike?
温恩你想念军队吗，迈克？

Mike I liked the travel, but in the end I was glad to leave. I think you reach a certain point when the idea of killing lots of people just loses its appeal. Anyway, Siân, what about you?
迈克，我喜欢旅行，但最后我很高兴离开。我觉得你会达到一个点，当杀很多人的想法失去吸引力时。无论如何，西安，你呢？

Siân What about me?
Siân 我呢？

Mike I mean how did you end up doing what you do?
迈克，我是说你是怎么做到你现在做的工作的？

Siân They just chose me from a photograph
Siân 他们只是从一张照片中选择了我

Mike Yeh right Mike Yeh 对的

Siân Obviously they had to check I could read. And they did a test to ensure that I didn’t have any speech impediments
Siân 显然他们必须检查我是否能阅读。他们还进行了测试，以确保我没有任何语言障碍。

Mike OK 迈克好

Siân I had to pronounce words like Shi’ite and Taoiseach, then I had to screen-test with the senior male presenter to satisfy them that we had the right chemistry
Siân，我必须发音像 Shi’ite 和 Taoiseach 这样的词，然后我还必须与高级男性主持人进行试镜，以让他们满意我们有合适的化学反应

Mike Does it get to you?
迈克，这让你感到困扰吗？

Siân What? Siân 什么？

Mike The news? 麦克，新闻怎么样？

Sian How? Sian 怎么样？

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Mike You’re the first port of call for all the bad news in the world. All day digesting horror and violence and tragedy - I suppose it’s no wonder you’re detached
迈克，你是世界上所有坏消息的第一接触点。整天消化恐怖、暴力和悲剧——我想你变得冷漠也不奇怪。

Hal She’s so detached she’s actually floating somewhere in the stratosphere and all we’ve got here is a hologram
哈，她如此超然，实际上漂浮在平流层的某个地方，而我们这里只有一个全息图

Sian It’s not all horror and tragedy. We always do a fun item at the end
Sian 这并不全是恐怖和悲剧。我们总是在最后做一个有趣的项目。

Mike Yeh. You pull an item on a massacre or a famine and replace it with the badger who crawled into someone’s washing machine
迈克·耶。你把一个关于大屠杀或饥荒的项目换成了爬进某人洗衣机里的獾。

Wynne Oh my -
温妮哦，我的 -

Siân People don’t give a fuck about massacres and famines. They watch the news because they want to be reassured
西安人对大屠杀和饥荒毫不在乎。他们看新闻是因为想要得到安慰。

Mike Reassured what? 迈克安慰了什么？

Siân That despite the headlines, things are essentially OK. I think it’s to do with control. They’ve got the information; they know the worst and they can deal with it - if they don’t dwell on it for more than ten seconds. Which is why it’s so important to end with people safe in the knowledge that the badger survived the rinse and spin
尽管有这些头条新闻，事情本质上是好的。我认为这与控制有关。他们掌握了信息；他们知道最糟糕的情况，并且可以应对——前提是他们不会在上面纠结超过十秒钟。这就是为什么让人们安心地知道獾在冲洗和脱水中幸存下来是如此重要。

Wynne (relieved) Oh 温（松了口气）哦

Mike So bad news is bad ratings?
迈克，坏消息就是差评吗？

Siân Oh yeh, people get traumatised and turn off. They’ve done research that suggests it’s less likely to happen if news is delivered by thinking man’s crumpet in a pastel suit. So it’s my job to make events on this fucked-up planet more palatable; peppering the horror and tragedy with tales of plucky burrowing mammals
是的，人们会受到创伤而关闭自己。他们做过研究，表明如果新闻是由穿着淡色西装的思考者传递的，这种情况发生的可能性就会降低。所以我的工作就是让这个糟糕的星球上的事件更易于接受；在恐怖和悲剧中穿插勇敢的穴居哺乳动物的故事。

She lights a cigarette. The Waiter exits.
她点燃了一支香烟。服务员退出。

Mike You demolished that cluster bomb guy. You made it sound like everything that came out of his mouth was a fucking lie - and it was. And when you tell us about the lucky badgers you always look like it’s making you barf. So I think, despite what you say, you’re on the side of truth
迈克，你彻底击垮了那个集束炸弹家伙。你让人觉得他嘴里说的每一句话都是个他妈的谎言——而且确实如此。当你告诉我们关于那些幸运的獾时，你总是看起来像是快要呕吐了。所以我认为，尽管你这么说，你还是站在真相的一边。

Siân (pause) Thank you
西安（停顿）谢谢

Hal Mike, Siân’s up for the Rear of the Year Award. Did you know?
Hal Mike，Siân 参加了年度最佳臀部奖。你知道吗？

Mike Congratulations 迈克，恭喜你

Siân Thanks Siân 谢谢

Mike If you win, you’ll have to read that night’s news with your arse
迈克，如果你赢了，你就得用你的屁股来读那晚的新闻

Siân (bursts out laughing) I’d love to
西安（爆笑）我很乐意

Paige (to Mike, confidentially) Did I just ask for drinks?
佩奇（对迈克，悄悄地）我刚刚要饮料了吗？

Mike Yes 迈克是的

Paige has already finished hers.
佩奇已经完成了她的。

Paige Oh

Hal So Mike, what’s in the back of your van today?
哈，迈克，你今天的面包车后面有什么？

Mike Well, I’m just on my way from robbing the house next door, so quite a lot of antiques, couple o’ paintings and some jewellery
迈克好吧，我刚从隔壁的房子抢劫回来，所以有很多古董，几幅画和一些珠宝

Only Siân laughs. 只有 Siân 在笑。

No, seriously, when I say I do property removals that’s usually without the owner’s knowledge or consent
不，认真说，当我说我做财产搬迁时，通常是在没有业主的知识或同意的情况下

Paige Bravo 佩奇·布拉沃

Hal You’ve just robbed next door?
Hal 你刚刚抢了隔壁吗？

Mike Yeh. Nice place
Mike Yeh。好地方

Lars enters, wearing different trousers. He coolly sits at the table.
拉尔斯走进来，穿着不同的裤子。他冷静地坐在桌子旁。

Paige So? 佩奇吗？

Lars Just dived in the pool
拉尔斯刚刚跳进游泳池

Paige And? 佩奇和？

Lars And what? 拉尔斯，那又怎么样？

Paige Was it pleasant?
佩奇，愉快吗？

Lars Very. Very calming
拉尔斯非常。非常平静

Paige Well I’m glad. That’s consolation for the fact that we’ve all been waiting for our main for half an hour now
佩奇，我很高兴。这是对我们大家已经等了半个小时的主菜的安慰。

Lars You should have started without me
拉尔斯，你应该在我之前就开始

Paige Well, seeing as this dinner is in honour of you and your fabulous, brilliant success, I thought that would be a little rude. Waiter!
佩奇，既然这顿晚餐是为了你和你那辉煌、卓越的成功而举办的，我觉得这样做有点不礼貌。服务员！

Lars Mike 拉尔斯·迈克

Mike Hi 迈克嗨

Lars Hi . Are they treating you OK?
拉尔斯，你好。他们对你好吗？

Mike Very well, thank you
迈克，非常好，谢谢

Lars Have you made your phone call?
拉尔斯，你打电话了吗？

Mike Yeh

Lars Good 拉尔斯·古德

Paige I’ve invited him to dine with us
佩奇，我邀请他和我们一起吃饭

Lars Cool 拉尔斯·库尔

Mike I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for a couple of hours. They can’t get a tow truck here any sooner
迈克，我恐怕你得和我呆几个小时。他们不能更快地把拖车送到这里。

Lars No problem. Long as you like
拉尔斯没问题。只要你喜欢。

The Waiter enters. 服务员进来了。

Paige We need drinks. Then we’re ready for the main
佩奇，我们需要饮料。然后我们就准备好进行主要活动了。

The Waiter nods. He exits.
服务员点头。他离开了。

Mike was just about to tell us how he’s ripped off old Mrs Allingham next door
迈克正要告诉我们他是如何欺骗隔壁的老阿林汉姆夫人的

Lars Oh 拉尔斯·哦

Paige Apparently his van is full of swag
佩奇显然他的面包车里装满了好东西

Lars That’s cool, Mike, really cool
拉尔斯，真不错，迈克，真的很酷

Paige We’re all agog with shock
佩奇我们都震惊不已

Wynne You haven’t, have you?
温妮，你没有，是吗？

Mike Haven’t what? 迈克，没什么？

Wynne Well you wouldn’t just sit there and tell us, would you?
Wynne 好吧，你不会就这样坐在那里告诉我们，对吧？

Mike Why not? 迈克，为什么不呢？

Wynne Oh Mike, you’re having us on
温恩哦，迈克，你在逗我们呢

Mike Why? I’m very proud of what I do
迈克，为什么？我对我所做的事情感到非常自豪

Siân Good 西安·古德

Hal Do you steal from the rich and give to the poor or something?
Hal，你是从富人那里偷东西给穷人吗？

Mike No, I just flog it and keep the money like anyone else. But I’m proud of my skills
迈克不，我只是像其他人一样把它卖掉并保留钱。但我为我的技能感到自豪。

Wynne You’re a bit of a tease, aren’t you?
温妮，你有点调皮，是吗？

Mike I don’t think so
迈克，我不这么认为

Hal So how did you get started, then? What was your first big break in the tea-leaf trade?
哈，那么你是怎么开始的呢？你在茶叶贸易中的第一次重大突破是什么？

Mike Well, I got this perfect training, courtesy of Her Majesty’s Armed Forces. I did a lot of surveillance work - stealth training, that kind o’ thing - and when I left it seemed a terrible waste not to do something with it
迈克好吧，我接受了来自她陛下武装部队的完美训练。我做了很多监视工作——隐秘训练，类似的事情——当我离开时，似乎不利用这些技能实在是太可惜了。

Paige Quite right 佩奇完全正确

Mike The obvious choice was crime. I mean I aim low - just private houses and that - and I don’t do anything where I’d have to carry a weapon - even a knife - because I took a sanctity-of-life pledge. After the killing of two Serbs and a Liberian I’m not ever, ever -
迈克显而易见的选择是犯罪。我的目标很低——只是私人住宅之类的——而且我不做任何需要携带武器的事情——甚至是刀——因为我发过一个生命神圣的誓言。在杀死两名塞尔维亚人和一名利比里亚人之后，我再也不想——绝对不想——

Wynne You killed a librarian?
温恩，你杀了一个图书管理员？

Mike A Liberian. Someone from Liberia. It’s next to Sierra Leone
迈克是利比里亚人。来自利比里亚的人。它位于塞拉利昂旁边。

Wynne Oh 温·欧

Mike I witnessed their murder; I’ve never actually killed anyone myself
迈克，我目睹了他们的谋杀；我自己从来没有杀过任何人

Lars Did you take her Klimt?
拉尔斯，你把她的克林特拿走了吗？

Mike What? 迈克，什么？

Lars She has a Klimt in her study, Mrs Allingham. Did you take it?
拉尔斯，她的书房里有一幅克林姆特，艾林汉姆夫人。你拿走了吗？

Mike A what? 迈克 A 什么？

Wynne Gustav Klimt. He’s a painter, Mike
温妮·古斯塔夫·克里姆特。他是一位画家，迈克。

Mike Oh, that painting
迈克哦，那幅画

Wynne A provocative eroticist, like me
温妮一个像我一样挑衅的情色作家

Mike I thought it was a print
迈克，我以为那是打印的

Lars She’s assured me on many occasions that it’s her most valuable piece
拉尔斯，她多次向我保证这是她最珍贵的作品

Mike Shit; I hate art. I never know what I’m looking at. I thought it was greeting-card crap. Do you think I should go back for it?
迈克·希特；我讨厌艺术。我从来不知道我在看什么。我以为这只是贺卡垃圾。你觉得我应该回去拿吗？

Hal Never revisit the scene of a crime
哈尔永远不要重返犯罪现场

Mike It’s OK. I disabled the alarm and I know she’s out. I’ve been casing the joint all day
迈克，没关系。我已经关闭了警报，我知道她出去了。我今天一直在观察这个地方。

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Lars Are you going to be doing our joint?
拉尔斯，你会做我们的联合吗？

Mike Well, obviously not tonight. I think that’d be a bit ungrateful, don’t you?
迈克好吧，显然今晚不行。我觉得那有点不知感恩，你不觉得吗？

Lars Yes I do, Mike
拉尔斯是的，我愿意，迈克

Mike But I tell you what, Lars, if you want to stroll over later and get that Klimt yourself, there’s nothing to stop you
迈克，但我告诉你，拉尔斯，如果你想稍后过来自己拿那幅克林姆特，没人会阻止你

Lars Why her? There are far better houses on this road; ours for instance
拉尔斯，为什么是她？这条路上有更好的房子；比如我们的

Mike Well I mean they’re all something fucking else, aren’t they?
迈克，我是说他们都是些他妈的奇葩，不是吗？
This is gothic-window plastic-pillar heaven
这是哥特式窗户塑料柱的天堂
But after extensive research I discovered that next door it was just one old doll with a lot of nice gear.
但经过广泛的研究，我发现隔壁只是一只旧玩偶和很多不错的装备。
And it was going great. No hitches at all until the van went into your ditch
一切进行得很顺利。直到面包车掉进了你的沟里，完全没有任何问题。
I thought I don’t believe it
我想我不相信这件事
I thought just walk away and forget the whole thing
我想就这样走开，忘掉这一切
But it was so thick with fog I couldn’t see
但雾太浓了，我看不见
I thought I could go round and round for hours in this
我以为我可以在这里转来转去几个小时
End up in Timbukfuckingtu
最终到了 Timbukfuckingtu
So I thought find a house, brazen it out, get a tow truck, get a tow, act the innocent and you’ll get away with all that stuff, no fucking bother
所以我想找个房子，厚颜无耻地坚持下去，叫一辆拖车，拖走，装作无辜，你就能逃过这一切，毫无麻烦

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Hal Well, you won’t now, will you?
好吧，你现在不会了，是吗？

Mike Won’t I? 迈克，我不会吗？

Hal I mean, you’ve just told us all about it, haven’t you?
哈，我是说，你刚刚已经告诉我们所有关于它的事，是吗？

Mike Oh yes, so I have
迈克哦，是的，我有

Hal We could make a citizen’s arrest
哈，我们可以进行公民逮捕

Mike You’re right 迈克，你说得对

Wynne We could tie you to your chair
温妮，我们可以把你绑在椅子上

Mike I’m in big trouble
迈克，我有大麻烦了

Pause. 暂停。

Paige I’m sorry, are we gawping?
佩奇，对不起，我们在盯着看吗？

Mike Just a bit
迈克只是有点

Paige You’ll have to excuse us. It’s been years since any of us spoke to anyone working class
佩奇，你得原谅我们。我们已经有好几年没和任何工人阶级的人说过话了。

Lars That’s a great story, Mike
拉尔斯，那是个好故事，迈克

Mike Thanks 迈克，谢谢

Lars You’ll have to tell us what you really do some time
拉尔斯，你得告诉我们你到底在做什么

Mike Well, I just get by, Lars, in a working-class kind of a way
迈克好吧，我只是勉强过活，拉尔斯，以一种工人阶级的方式

Wynne Mike, my parents were working class
温恩·迈克，我的父母是工人阶级

Mike Right 迈克·赖特

Wynne I’m only middle class because of my education
温恩，我之所以只是中产阶级，是因为我的教育

Mike Right 迈克·赖特

Paige You could say the same for Lars. He comes from a very deprived background
佩奇，你可以对拉尔斯说同样的话。他来自一个非常贫困的背景。

Lars That’s not true
拉尔斯，那不是真的

Paige Oh it is. He never shuts up about how deprived he is
佩奇，确实如此。他总是喋喋不休地说自己有多么贫困。

Lars There is nothing deprived about my background, Mike
拉尔斯，我的背景并没有什么被剥夺的，迈克

Paige Sorry, I meant depraved
佩奇，对不起，我是说堕落的

Lars My father was a small-town dentist and my mother was a self-educated chiropodist
拉尔斯，我的父亲是一位小镇牙医，我的母亲是一位自学成才的足病医生

Paige Wait for his funny joke about teeth and feet
佩奇，等着听他关于牙齿和脚的搞笑笑话

Lars Paige went to boarding school
拉尔斯·佩奇上了寄宿学校

Paige Whereas Lars’ parents sent him out to work when he was just a child. They forced him to do a paper round and he still bears the emotional scars
佩奇而拉尔斯的父母在他还是个孩子的时候就让他出去工作。他们强迫他做送报纸的工作，他至今仍然承受着情感上的创伤。

Hal Oh come on, you two
哈，哦，得了，你们两个

Paige Come on what?
佩奇，怎么了？

Hal You’re like a couple of -
哈，你就像一对——
I don’t know 我不知道

Paige Newlyweds? 佩奇新婚夫妇？

Mike Can I ask you a rude and personal question?
迈克，我可以问你一个无礼且私人的问题吗？

Lars Sure 拉尔斯·舒尔

Mike How did you make all your money?
迈克，你是怎么赚到所有钱的？

Paige What makes you think it’s his?
佩奇，你为什么认为是他的？

Lars Paige had a small trust fund when we married, which I invested for her. She’s welcome to have it back at any time - with interest.
拉尔斯·佩奇在我们结婚时有一个小的信托基金，我为她进行了投资。她随时可以取回 - 还带利息。
I used to trade in the city
我曾在城市里交易

Mike As simple as that?
迈克就这么简单吗？

Lars Making money’s as simple as sneezing. You just have to want to do it. And for a while I did. But it began to bore me - just seemed like figures moving around on screens in the end - so a few years ago I retired and went back to my first love: the study of philosophy
拉尔斯赚钱就像打喷嚏一样简单。你只需要想要去做。起初我确实想这样做。但后来我开始感到无聊——最终只觉得屏幕上移动的数字而已——所以几年前我退休了，回到了我最爱的事情：哲学研究。

Wynne You’ve achieved so much in your life, Lars. You put the rest of us to shame
拉尔斯，你在生活中取得了如此多的成就，让我们其他人感到惭愧。

Paige (angrily) Oh, where is our food?
佩奇（生气地）哦，我们的食物在哪里？

Paige takes her glass and goes into the kitchen.
佩奇拿起她的杯子，走进厨房。

Lars Well, I think the important thing about anyone’s journey through life - whatever their background - is that they follow / the
拉尔斯好吧，我认为任何人生活旅程中重要的事情——无论他们的背景如何——是他们遵循/的

Wynne The positive dictates of the psyche-drive and pursue their aspirational fantasies
温恩积极的心理驱动指引并追求他们的理想幻想

Mike Is that what it says in your book?
迈克，你书上是这么写的吗？

Lars In a word, yes
拉尔斯，总之，是的

Siân It’s a zingy read, Mike
Siân 这是一本生动有趣的读物，Mike

Hal But you see my point is
哈，但你明白我的意思是
What about the poor sods who aren’t up to it? The ones who don’t have the talent or the skill to achieve anything?
那些无法胜任的可怜家伙怎么办？那些没有才能或技能去实现任何事情的人？

Wynne Oh, everyone can achieve something, Hal
温恩哦，每个人都能实现一些事情，哈尔

Siân He only read the first couple of chapters
Siân He 只读了前几章

Hal That’s not true
哈尔，那不是真的

Lars If you choose the wrong aspirational fantasy, your failure to achieve it will probably lead you to psychological apocalypse and that’s where the process of renewal can begin
拉尔斯，如果你选择了错误的理想幻想，你未能实现它可能会导致你心理上的崩溃，而这正是重生过程可以开始的地方

Wynne Yes 温妮是的

Sian He should have hung on in there to Part Two - the phoenix rising stuff. He missed the reinstatement of aspirational fantasies as a one-step-up alternate reality
Sian He 应该坚持到第二部分 - 凤凰重生的内容。他错过了将理想幻想重新纳入作为一种一步到位的替代现实。

Mike You’ve lost me
迈克，你让我失去了方向

Siân Well, when nothing is real and only language gives things meaning, why should a dream or a fantasy not have the same weight of reality as a real event or relationship? If you put your fantasies close enough to reality, they become achievable - apparently
西安好吧，当没有什么是真实的，只有语言赋予事物意义时，为什么一个梦或幻想不应该与真实事件或关系具有相同的现实分量呢？如果你把你的幻想与现实靠得足够近，它们就会变得可实现——显然

Mike Right 迈克·赖特

Paige returns with a full glass and sits.
佩奇端着一杯满满的水回来并坐下。

Paige Everything is perfectly prepared. He’s so diligent
佩奇，一切都准备得很好。他非常勤奋。

Wynne It’s all down to the strength of the psyche-drive, Mike. You can make things happen. It’s such a liberating concept. I mean you can’t deny that we’re all at the epicentre of our own universe. What Lars says is, don’t be meek about it, don’t be humble; you can be the god or the goddess of your own psyche. Action is the key
温恩：这一切都归结于心理驱动的力量，迈克。你可以让事情发生。这是一个如此解放的概念。我的意思是，你不能否认我们都是自己宇宙的中心。拉尔斯所说的是，不要对此感到谦卑，不要害羞；你可以成为自己心理的神或女神。行动是关键。

Mike OK 迈克好

Wynne A lot us feel scared of action; afraid of instigating change. But Beyond Belief will revolutionise your life. All you have to do is say yes to the strength within you and release the spirit of self
温妮我们很多人都害怕行动；害怕引发变化。但《超越信仰》将彻底改变你的生活。你所要做的就是对你内心的力量说是，并释放自我的精神。

Siân Because you’re going to die anyway
西安因为你反正要死

Wynne Well, yes, but surely you can handle the idea of your own death? I know I can. I’ve worked through all that fear to a place of Inspired Resignation
温恩好吧，是的，但你肯定能接受自己死亡的想法吧？我知道我可以。我已经克服了所有的恐惧，达到了灵感的接受。
And now I feel I can do anything
现在我觉得我可以做任何事情

Mike Sounds great 迈克听起来不错

Lars Here 拉尔斯在这里

Lars reaches into his inside pocket.
拉尔斯伸手进他的内口袋。

Have a copy, Mike
有一份副本，迈克

He holds out a small blue book. Mike takes it.
他递出一本小蓝书。迈克接过它。

Mike Well, thank you, Lars. Nice-looking book
迈克好的，谢谢你，拉尔斯。看起来不错的书

Lars (winks) Clever marketing
拉尔斯（眨眼）聪明的营销

The Waiter enters with a raw savoy cabbage on a plate.
服务员端着一盘生的萨沃伊卷心菜进来。

Paige Ah, the vegetarian dish
佩奇，素食菜肴

The Waiter puts the cabbage down in front of Wynne.
服务员把卷心菜放在温的面前。

Wynne Goodness me 温恩真是太好了
What is it? 这是什么？

Paige It’s a cabbage. (to the Waiter) We need music
佩奇，这是一个卷心菜。（对服务员说）我们需要音乐。

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Wynne You are so clever
温妮，你真聪明
You’ve made it look as if it hasn’t been touched
你让它看起来好像没有被碰过
What have you stuffed it with - or is it a surprise?
你把它塞了什么 - 还是说这是个惊喜？

Paige I haven’t stuffed it with anything
佩奇，我没有把它塞满任何东西
It’s raw 它是原始的

Wynne Oh 温·欧

Paige I thought it was particularly appropriate for you, Wynne
佩奇，我觉得这对你来说特别合适，温

Lars Why? 拉尔斯，为什么？

Paige It’s the ultimate vegetable
佩奇这是终极蔬菜

Lars Paige, when my patience with your rudeness runs out -
拉尔斯·佩奇，当我对你的粗鲁失去耐心时——

Paige Yes? 佩奇，是吗？

Lars is silent. 拉尔斯沉默。

You were about to say something, my love. Was it the beginning of a threat?
你刚要说什么，我的爱。那是威胁的开始吗？

Lars I don’t make threats
拉尔斯，我不威胁人

Paige No, action is your name
佩奇不，行动是你的名字

Lars You’re treading a very fine line
拉尔斯，你走在一条非常细的线上

Paige Wynne, was I rude?
佩奇·温，我 rude 吗？

Wynne I-

Paige Of course not. I wanted something special for you, knowing that you’re an artist. If you’ll notice, I’ve had this cabbage in the freezer to simulate the winter frost it naturally endures. It’ll melt into diamonds of dew, which the leaves will cradle in their melancholy folds. It’s a culinary poem. I felt that to cook it, indeed to prepare it in any way, would be to spoil it. So as an artist, enjoy
佩奇当然不是。我想为你准备一些特别的东西，因为我知道你是个艺术家。如果你注意到，我把这个卷心菜放在冰箱里，以模拟它自然承受的冬季霜冻。它会融化成露珠的钻石，叶子会在它们忧郁的褶皱中轻轻托起。它是一首烹饪的诗。我觉得烹饪它，确实以任何方式准备它，都会破坏它。所以作为一个艺术家，尽情享受吧。

Wynne Well 温韦尔

Paige And now for the seafood
佩奇现在来点海鲜

Wagner. The Waiter enters. He carries two plates. Each of them is holding a huge North Atlantic lobster. They are alive, their claws tied with satin ribbons, presented on a bed of salad. The Waiter serves the ladies.
瓦格纳。服务员进来了。他端着两盘菜。每盘上都有一只巨大的北大西洋龙虾。它们是活的，爪子用缎带绑着，摆放在沙拉床上。服务员为女士们上菜。

Before you ask, this is another of my creations
在你问之前，这是我的另一个创作
Apocalypse of Lobster 龙虾的启示录

The Waiter exits. Wynne shrieks, backing away.
服务员退出。温恩尖叫着，向后退。

Wynne That one just moved. I saw its thing move!
温那，那个刚刚动了。我看到它的东西动了！

Paige Of course it moved. It’s looking for the North Atlantic.
佩奇当然它移动了。它在寻找北大西洋。

Wynne Are they living?
Wynne 他们还活着吗？

Paige I should hope so. I’ve been nurturing them in the bath all day
佩奇，我希望如此。我今天一直在浴缸里照顾它们。

Wynne whimpers, distressed. The Waiter returns with three more lobsters. He serves the gentlemen.
温妮呜咽，感到痛苦。服务员带着三只龙虾回来。他为绅士们上菜。

Hal Are you expecting us to eat them alive?
Hal 你是希望我们活吃它们吗？

Paige Well, you can if you’d like to, Hal
佩奇好吧，如果你愿意的话，你可以，哈尔

The Waiter exits, returning almost immediately with drinks. He serves them.
服务员退出，几乎立刻带着饮料回来。他为他们服务。

Lars What is the meaning of this?
拉尔斯，这是什么意思？

Paige I think it’s fitting that Lars, the philosopher whom we are honouring, should ask the meaning. Perhaps you can fathom it, my love
佩奇，我认为我们所尊敬的哲学家拉尔斯问这个意义是合适的。也许你能理解它，我的爱。

Lars I don’t intend to try
拉尔斯，我不打算尝试

Paige Then I’ll share my gastronomic journey
佩奇，然后我将分享我的美食之旅
I haven’t read my husband’s book but I have read the jacket and all his reviews
我还没有读我丈夫的书，但我读过封面和他的所有评论
There was one - I think it was in the Hairdresser’s Journal -
有一个 - 我想是在《理发师杂志》上 -
That said Lars Janssen obviously thinks he’s God
话虽如此，拉尔斯·扬森显然认为他是上帝

Lars Oh shut up
拉尔斯，闭嘴

Paige So with this dish I thought we could all imagine we were Lars and be God. There is the lobster, soft and naked beneath its defences, as helpless as mankind, awaiting its final fate
佩奇，所以在这道菜中，我想我们都可以想象自己是拉尔斯，成为上帝。龙虾在它的防御下柔软而赤裸，像人类一样无助，等待着它的最终命运。

Lars This is pathetic
拉斯这真可悲

Paige So, there’s a pot of boiling water in the kitchen and an ornamental pond out there on the patio, which I’ve had the waiter fill with brine. If you want your lobster to live, take it out and release it to its natural element. If you want to consume it, take it into the kitchen, put it face first into the boiling water, listen to it scream, and when it’s cooked the waiter will bring it in for you. You can crack it open, remove its stomach sacs and intestines and eat it with the attractive salad. That way lies lobster apocalypse and that way lies salvation. The choice, ye gods, is yours
佩奇，所以，厨房里有一锅开水，外面的露台上有一个装饰性池塘，我让服务员把它装满盐水。如果你想让龙虾活着，就把它拿出来放回自然环境。如果你想吃它，就把它带进厨房，面朝下放入开水中，听它尖叫，当它煮熟后，服务员会把它端给你。你可以把它剁开，取出它的胃囊和肠子，配上美味的沙拉一起吃。那样就会迎来龙虾的末日，而那样则是救赎。选择，诸神，掌握在你们手中。

Mike Wow 迈克哇

Siân scrapes her chair back. She picks up her lobster and walks determinedly towards the kitchen.
Siân 把椅子拖开。她拿起龙虾，坚定地走向厨房。
Wynne stands. 温恩站着。

Wynne No! 温恩，不！
Don’t kill it 不要杀死它

Sian Why not? 西安为什么不呢？

Wynne It’s horrible 温恩，这太可怕了

Siân Damn right Siân 当然没错

Siân exits. Siân 退出。

Paige (to the Waiter) Would you follow your instructions, please?
佩奇（对服务员）请您遵循您的指示，好吗？

The Waiter exits to the kitchen. Hal gets up, takes his lobster towards the patio.
服务员走向厨房。哈尔起身，带着他的龙虾走向露台。

Paige Hal, I’m moved by your compassion for these lowly crustaceans
佩奇·哈尔，我被你对这些卑微甲壳类动物的同情所感动

Hal Eff off

He exits. 他退出了。

Paige Mike? 佩奇·迈克？

Mike I don’t think I could eat this. No offence, Paige, but I generally like my food to look like food Mike goes out to the patio. Siân returns. She lights a cigarette.
迈克，我觉得我吃不下这个。没有冒犯的意思，佩奇，但我一般喜欢我的食物看起来像食物。迈克走到露台上。西安回来了。她点燃了一支香烟。

Sian They don’t exactly scream; it’s more a kind of wail
西安他们并不是在尖叫；这更像是一种哀号

Wynne Paige this is -
Wynne Paige 这是 -
I’m having great difficulty coping with this
我在应对这个问题上遇到了很大的困难

Hal and Mike return with empty plates.
哈尔和迈克带着空盘子回来。

Hal It’s getting worse out there
哈，外面的情况越来越糟了

Mike You can’t see the pond at all
迈克，你根本看不到池塘

Hal Nearly effing fell in it
哈尔差点儿摔进去了

Wynne I’m a guest / in your house and
Wynne 我是你家里的客人，

Paige This lobster reminds me of me. Which is why she has to go in the fiery pot
佩奇这只龙虾让我想起了我。这就是为什么她必须放进火热的锅里。

Paige takes her lobster towards the kitchen. Wynne gets up.
佩奇把她的龙虾带向厨房。温妮站了起来。

Wynne I’d like you to stop!
Wynne，我希望你停止！

Paige If you want to stop me you’ll have to use force
佩奇，如果你想阻止我，你就得使用武力

Lars Leave her 拉尔斯，离开她

Paige You’re the goddess of your own psyche, Wynne
佩奇，你是自己心灵的女神，温

Lars There’s no point speaking to her when she’s like this
拉尔斯，跟她说话没有意义，当她这样的时候

Paige Come and take it. Do something
佩奇，来拿吧。做点什么。

Wynne I beg you to stop
温恩，我求你停止

Paige I despise begging
佩奇，我厌恶乞求

Paige exits. Music ends. Lars gets out his mobile phone. He dials.
佩奇离开。音乐结束。拉尔斯拿出他的手机。他拨打电话。

Lars (into the phone) Hi, I’d like to order some pizzas please. One vegetarian and a selection of others; five in total, ham and mushroom, yep, spicy chicken, something with spinach
拉尔斯（对着电话）嗨，我想点一些披萨。一个素食的和其他几种；总共五个，火腿和蘑菇，是的，辣鸡肉，还有一些菠菜的。

Hal Pepperoni 哈尔·佩普罗尼

Lars And one with pepperoni. No seafood. The White Lodge, Oak Avenue. Tell the guy there’s a big tip if he gets here quickly. Yes, I know it is; just tell him to get here
拉尔斯，还有一个加香肠的。不要海鲜。白色旅馆，橡树大道。告诉那里的家伙，如果他快点到这里会有丰厚的小费。是的，我知道；只要告诉他快点到这里。

Lars puts his phone back in his jacket. Paige enters. She sits.
拉尔斯把手机放回他的夹克里。佩奇进来了。她坐下。

Siân How long do you think it takes them to die?
Siân 你认为他们死去需要多长时间？

Paige Until the last synapse stops firing? A minute or two
佩奇，直到最后一个突触停止发射？一两分钟

Siân A long time
Siân 很久以前

Paige An eternity, I should think. Which just leaves you, my love. What kismet for your lobster?
佩奇，永恒，我想。那就只剩下你了，我的爱。你的龙虾有什么命运？

Lars Waiter? 拉尔斯·韦特？

The Waiter enters. 服务员进来了。

Would you take that away?
你能把那个拿走吗？

Paige Are you asking him to cook it for you? How godlike
佩奇，你是在问他为你做这个吗？真是神一般的存在

Lars I don’t give a damn what he does with it. Take it away
拉尔斯，我不在乎他对它做什么。把它拿走。

The Waiter is about to remove the lobster.
服务员即将移走龙虾。

Paige Don’t touch it
佩奇，别碰它

Lars Take it away
拉尔斯，开始吧

Paige Don’t touch it
佩奇，别碰它

Lars Waiter, would you please get rid of this?
拉尔斯·韦特，请你把这个处理掉好吗？

Pause. 暂停。

Lars What fee have you offered him?
拉尔斯，你给他提供了什么费用？

Paige Twenty-five thousand pounds
佩奇二万五千英镑

Lars Sure. I’ll double whatever my wife has offered you, if you take this thing away. Let’s make it a hundred quid
拉尔斯：当然。如果你把这个东西带走，我会把我妻子给你的金额翻倍。我们就定在一百英镑。

Pause. 暂停。

Five hundred, cash 五百，现金

Mike I would definitely take that
迈克，我肯定会接受那个

Paige His motivation’s far more complex than you think. He doesn’t work for money alone. He has charitable principles
佩奇，他的动机比你想的要复杂得多。他并不仅仅为了钱而工作。他有慈善原则。

Lars He’s doing this for charity?
拉尔斯，他是为了慈善在做这个吗？

Paige The biblical sense of it. The sense that’s often translated as love
佩奇其圣经意义。通常翻译为爱的意义

Lars I see 拉尔斯，我明白了
(to the Waiter) One thousand pounds
（对服务员）一千英镑

Paige You can’t bribe a man of integrity
佩奇，你无法贿赂一个有操守的人

Lars Very well, it can stay there. We can watch it slowly drown in air
拉尔斯很好，它可以留在那里。我们可以看着它慢慢在空气中淹没。

Mike Not wanting to be crass or anything, Lars, but if I took it away would you give me a thousand pounds?
迈克不想显得粗鲁，拉尔斯，但如果我把它拿走，你会给我一千英镑吗？

Wynne takes Lars’ lobster out to the patio.
温妮把拉尔斯的龙虾拿到露台上。

Paige Waiter, we need drinks. Thank you so much
佩奇·韦特，我们需要饮料。非常感谢。

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Lars So he calls it love?
拉尔斯所以他称之为爱？

Paige He calls it service.
佩奇称之为服务。
I call it love
我称之为爱

Lars That’s very sad
拉尔斯，这真令人伤心

Paige There’s nothing sad about love, my darling
佩奇，亲爱的，爱情没有什么悲伤的

Wynne enters. She sits.
温妮进来了。她坐下。

Lars (to Wynne) Thank you
拉尔斯（对温恩）谢谢你

Wynne That’s OK… It’s in the pond, but what about your goldfish?
温恩，没关系……它在池塘里，但你的金鱼怎么样？

Paige We’re having them tomorrow, with pasta
佩奇，我们明天会有它们，配意大利面

Wynne And I thought Lars was exaggerating when he warned me about you
温和，我以为拉尔斯在警告我关于你时是在夸大其词

Lars (to Paige) I warn everyone
拉尔斯（对佩奇）我警告每个人

Paige is taken by surprise. She seems to crumble.
佩奇感到惊讶。她似乎崩溃了。

Mike Paige, can I ask you a rude and personal question?
迈克·佩奇，我可以问你一个无礼而私人的问题吗？

Paige Yes 佩奇是的

Mike What do you do, you know, for a living? While Lars is writing his books and that?
迈克，你知道你是做什么工作的？拉尔斯在写他的书的时候呢？

Paige Mike, how sweet of you to think that I might do something
Paige Mike，你真贴心，居然想到我可能会做些什么
I do nothing. I never have
我什么都不做。我从来没有。

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Hal Come on, Paige 哈，快点，佩奇
All that personal grooming. I wouldn’t call that nothing
所有那些个人护理。我不会说那没什么。
And you organise things for charity
而你为慈善组织事务

Lars Oh, call it love
拉尔斯哦，称之为爱

Hal You’re always making us buy those effing raffle tickets
哈尔，你总是让我们买那些该死的抽奖票

Paige Flowers For The Homeless
无家可归者的佩奇花卉

Hal And there’s your genius in the kitchen
哈，还有你在厨房里的天才

Lars She’s always visiting the penguin pond at the zoo
拉尔斯，她总是去动物园的企鹅池

Hal And Paige, half the vintners in Kensington would go out of business if it weren’t for you
哈尔和佩奇，如果没有你们，肯辛顿一半的酿酒商将会倒闭

Paige You see, Mike, my life is chock-full. And if ever I tire of these thrilling pursuits, there’s always the Open University or psychotropic drugs
佩奇你看，迈克，我的生活充满了各种活动。如果我厌倦了这些刺激的追求，总有开放大学或精神药物可以选择。

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Mike It’s just that I think you’d be very good at what I do
迈克，我只是觉得你会非常擅长我所做的事情

Paige You mean
Mike Yeh
Paige You think I'd make a good thief?
Mike Burglar, yeh
Paige (moved) Really?
Mike You've got the nerve, I can tell
Paige Mike, I'm thrilled
Lars Hah
Paige I'm unbelievably moved that you should think that
Mike I think you'd actually love it. Have you never considered crime as a career?
Paige Well, it wasn't one of the options at school and I hardly need the money, do I?
Mike You'd do it for the subversion
Paige Yes, yes
Mike It's such a thrill
Paige I'm sure
Mike And no one would suspect you in the way that they all instantly suspect me. As soon as I walked in here, you had me sussed, didn't you? Whereas you're -
Paige Such a posh bitch
Mike You could get in anywhere; pilfer anything. You could do top jobs
The Waiter enters with two cooked lobsters. He places one in front of Sian and one in front of Paige.
Paige Oh look
Yum yum
Siân Could I have some HP sauce, please?

Hal sighs loudly.
哈尔大声叹气。

What? 什么？
Bring me some ketchup as well
也给我带点番茄酱

The Waiter exits. Siân cracks her lobster open. She removes the intestines.
服务员退出。西安打开她的龙虾。她去掉了肠子。

Hal What about me, Mike? What are my chances in the crime league? Because between you and me I’m effing sick of my job and I’d love a bit of stealth, bit of ducking and diving, dodging and weaving, breaking and entering, you know what I mean?
哈，迈克，我呢？我在犯罪联盟中的机会有多大？因为你我之间，我对我的工作真是厌烦透了，我想要一点隐秘，一点躲避和闪避，规避和穿梭，破门而入，你懂我的意思吗？

Mike Well, actually, Hal, don’t take this the wrong way, but I wouldn’t trust you
迈克好吧，实际上，哈尔，不要误解我的意思，但我不太信任你

Hal Oh great 哈哦，太棒了

Mike Not that I think you’d try and / personally stab me in the back or anything
迈克不是说我认为你会试图背叛我或什么的

Hal No, no, no, that’s great, Mike
哈，不，不，不，太好了，迈克

Mike I just think you might lose your cool under pressure and, you know, do something stupid or violent
迈克，我只是觉得在压力下你可能会失去冷静，做一些愚蠢或暴力的事情

Hal Trigger-happy, you mean?
哈，喜欢开枪的哈？

Mike Well - 迈克·韦尔 -

Hal Effing great. Psycho Hal, loose with a sawn-off shotgun. Watch out, Twickenham, here I come
哈尔真是太棒了。精神病哈尔，手持锯口霰弹枪。小心了，特威肯汉，我来了。

He aims and fires an imaginary machine gun at all the characters, letting off a long volley at Siân. She continues to devour her lobster. Hal runs out of steam.
他瞄准并朝所有角色开火，朝西安发射了一长串虚构的机枪火力。她继续吃着她的龙虾。哈尔精疲力竭。

Siân (to Paige) This is absolutely sensational
西安（对佩奇）这真是太棒了

Wynne I once tried to shoplift some earrings from Laura Ashley - must be about fifteen years ago and I was so tense that I almost had a nervous breakdown. I was sweating and shaking and I stuck them in my pocket and crept past the till having this awful panic attack - I could barely see; I was nearly sick - then I felt so guilty that I went back and paid for them and they were such a rip-off and they turned out to be horrible anyway and I cried
温恩，我曾经试图从劳拉·阿什利那里偷一些耳环——大约是十五年前，我紧张得几乎要崩溃了。我在出汗和颤抖，把它们放进口袋，悄悄经过收银台，经历了一场可怕的恐慌发作——我几乎看不见；差点儿呕吐——然后我感到非常内疚，于是我回去付了钱，而它们实在是太贵了，结果也很糟糕，我哭了。

Lars Poor you 拉尔斯可怜你

The Waiter enters with condiments. Sian liberally helps herself.
服务员带着调味品进来。Sian 大方地自取。

Mike You would definitely be the worst burglar that ever lived
迈克，你绝对是有史以来最糟糕的窃贼

Sian I’d like to be a con artist
Sian 我想成为一个骗子

Mike Good choice 迈克好选择

Siân I’d like to disguise myself as someone warm and caring and rip off the old, the vulnerable and the bereaved
Siân 我想伪装成一个温暖和关心他人的人，欺骗那些年老、脆弱和失去亲人的人

Mike Certainly a challenge
迈克，确实是个挑战

Siân Total moral corruption: tough one to crack
Siân 总体道德腐败：难以解决的问题

Lars And what about me, Mike?
拉尔斯，那我呢，迈克？

Paige You are a con artist, my love
佩奇，你是个骗子，我的爱
Lars You’re so funny. You are so hilarious. Look; my sides have split
拉尔斯，你真有趣。你太搞笑了。看，我的肚子都笑疼了。

Mike Well, Lars, I’d actually put you right at the top of a huge crime ring. I’d say you wouldn’t be so good on the ground but you’ve got the nous to hire a couple of heavies and a good accountant to do it all for you. You have the, um -
迈克好吧，拉尔斯，我实际上会把你放在一个庞大犯罪集团的最顶端。我会说你在现场可能不太行，但你有能力雇佣几个打手和一个好的会计来为你处理一切。你有，呃——

Paige Sangfroid, the glacial, hyperborean stare
佩奇·桑弗罗伊德，冰冷的北极凝视

Mike The, er -
迈克·泽尔

Hal The cool 哈尔酷

Mike I just don’t think anyone would fuck with you
迈克，我只是觉得没有人会惹你

Hal He’s effing perceptive, this kid, isn’t he? For a tea leaf
哈，他真是个敏锐的孩子，不是吗？对于一个茶叶来说

Mike Paige? 迈克·佩奇？
Paige Mike 佩奇·迈克

Mike Could I use your toilet, please?
迈克，我可以用一下你的厕所吗？

Paige Of course 佩奇当然

Mike I’ve been busting for a while but I didn’t like to say
迈克，我憋了很久，但我不想说
Paige Mike, I want you to feel that our home is yours. (to the Waiter) Would you show our guest to the little boys’ room?
佩奇·迈克，我希望你能感受到我们的家就是你的家。（对服务员）你能带我们的客人去小男孩的洗手间吗？

Mike I’m not going to rip anything off; it’s OK
迈克，我不会剽窃任何东西；没关系

Paige Oh, feel free. Take the Cupid; it’s French, seventeenth century; ever so pricey. Lars gave it to me on our tenth anniversary. I use it as a loo-roll stand
佩奇，随便用吧。拿着这个丘比特；它是法国的，十七世纪的；非常昂贵。拉尔斯在我们十周年纪念日时送给我的。我把它当作卫生纸架。

Mike Are you sure?
迈克，你确定吗？

Paige It would probably double as a very good kosh. You could keep it in your van for emergencies
Paige，这可能也可以作为一个很好的 kosh。你可以把它放在你的面包车里以备紧急情况。

Mike You think of everything
迈克你考虑到了所有事情

Paige The sign of a good hostess
Paige 好女主人标志

The Waiter shows Mike out. Lars gets out his mobile phone. He dials.
服务员把迈克送了出去。拉尔斯拿出手机。他拨打电话。

Siân Paige, I genuinely think this is the best dead thing I ever ate
Siân Paige，我真心认为这是我吃过的最好吃的死物

Paige That’s great 佩奇，那太好了

Siân And do you know what’s particularly satisfying about it?
Siân 你知道这特别令人满意的是什么吗？

Paige You killed it yourself
佩奇，你自己搞砸了

Siân It’s an honest meal
Siân 这是一顿诚实的餐

Lars Police, please 拉尔斯警察，请

Paige (leaping up) Don’t you dare. Don’t you DARE!
佩奇（跳起来）你敢！你敢！

Lars Hello, yes, I’d like to report a burglary
拉尔斯你好，是的，我想报告一起入室盗窃

Paige grapples with Lars for the phone.
佩奇与拉尔斯争夺电话。

Paige He’s a guest in your house
佩奇，他是你家里的客人

Lars He’s a parasite
拉尔斯他是一个寄生虫

Paige You invited him in!
佩奇，你邀请他进来了！

Lars To use a phone
拉尔斯使用电话

Paige Well he’s staying
佩奇好吧，他要留下来

Lars He’s a two-bit thief
拉尔斯，他是个二流小偷

Paige And you’re a ten-pound cunt
佩奇，你是个十磅的贱人

Wynne Uhh! 温妮呜！

Lars (struggling) Get - off - you
拉尔斯（挣扎）走开 - 你

Paige I will not have police in this house!
佩奇，我不想在这个房子里有警察！

The guests watch in silence as the struggle becomes more vicious.
客人们默默地观看着，随着斗争变得更加激烈。

Lars GET - OFF!
拉尔斯，滚开！

Lars shoves Paige away from him.
拉尔斯把佩奇推开。

Yes, hello, this is Lars Janssen at The White Lodge, Oak Avenue. I’d like to report a burglary. That’s correct, yes
是的，您好，我是位于橡树大道的白色旅馆的拉尔斯·扬森。我想报告一起入室盗窃。没错，是的。

Paige knees Lars in the groin. He doubles up. She takes the phone.
佩奇用膝盖撞了拉尔斯的裆部。他弯下了腰。她拿走了手机。

Paige Hello, this is Paige Janssen, Oak Avenue
佩奇你好，我是佩奇·扬森，橡树大道
I’m so sorry, my husband should never have called you
我很抱歉，我丈夫不应该给你打电话

Hal Holy batcrap 哈尔神圣的废话

Lars (to Hal) Get / me the phone
拉尔斯（对哈尔）把电话给我

Hal hesitates. The Waiter enters. Paige motions him to stay where he is.
Hal 犹豫不决。服务员进来了。Paige 示意他待在原地。

Paige He’s on medication - this is terribly painful to say - for pre-senile dementia and he’s having a persecution episode
佩奇他正在服用药物——说这句话非常痛苦——是因为他患有前老年痴呆症，并且正在经历一场被迫害的发作

Hal (holding his hand out for the phone) Come on, Paige. Be decent
哈尔（伸手要电话）来吧，佩奇。要有点体面。

Paige Well, he thinks there’s a burglar in the house but I’m afraid to say that the poor man he’s picked on is actually one of our dinner guests. No, it’s a degenerative psychosis; really sad… No, that absolutely won’t be necessary; I have his medication right here. Yes, yes. Thank you. You’re most understanding
佩奇，他认为家里有个小偷，但我很遗憾地说，他所针对的可怜人实际上是我们的晚餐客人。不，这是一种退行性精神病；真的很悲哀……不，这绝对没有必要；我这里有他的药物。是的，是的。谢谢。你真是太理解了。

Paige ends the call. She hands the phone to the Waiter.
佩奇结束了通话。她把电话递给了服务员。

Paige Would you throw that into the pond, please?
佩奇，你能把那个扔进池塘吗？

The Waiter exits. Paige sits. Lars sits.
服务员退出。佩奇坐下。拉尔斯坐下。

Lars One day, Paige, you will get what you deserve
拉尔斯有一天，佩奇，你会得到你应得的

Paige Yes.I will 佩奇是的。我会

Hal That was really ugly, guys
哈尔，那真是太丑了，伙计们

Wynne puts out her hand to Lars. Lars takes it. Paige acknowledges this. Mike returns with a seventeenth-century Cupid. There’s a toilet roll on its arrow.
温妮伸出手给拉尔斯。拉尔斯握住了它。佩奇对此表示认可。迈克带着一个十七世纪的丘比特回来。它的箭上有一卷卫生纸。

Mike Is this the thing you meant?
迈克，这是你所指的东西吗？

Lars releases Wynne’s hand.
拉尔斯放开了温的手。

Paige Do you like it?
佩奇，你喜欢吗？

Mike Yeh, it’s really nasty
迈克·耶，这真是太恶心了

Paige It’s yours 佩奇，这是你的

Mike Are you sure?
迈克，你确定吗？

Paige Only if you promise to keep it in your toilet
佩奇只有在你保证把它放在你的厕所里时

Mike No fucking problem, Paige
迈克没问题，佩奇
Thanks very much 非常感谢

Lars I’m afraid it’s not yours to give
拉尔斯，我恐怕这不是你能给的

Paige Do all the presents you’ve given me over the years still belong to you? What about Beaky?
佩奇，您这些年来送给我的所有礼物还属于您吗？比基呢？

Lars What? 拉尔斯什么？

Paige My penguin. Is he still yours?
佩奇，我的企鹅。他还属于你吗？

The Waiter enters. Mike puts the toilet roll on the floor. He turns the Cupid upside down and swings it like a golf club, hitting the toilet roll. It leaves a trail of paper, coming to rest at Lars’s feet. Mike sits, the Cupid beside him.
服务员进来。迈克把卫生纸放在地上。他把丘比特倒过来，像高尔夫球杆一样挥动，击打卫生纸。纸张留下了一道痕迹，停在拉尔斯的脚边。迈克坐下，丘比特在他旁边。

Pause. 暂停。

Siân belches loudly. 西安大声打嗝。

Paige We need drinks
佩奇，我们需要饮料

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Paige Do you know, I had a feeling that conversation might flag at this point in the evening; with everyone feeling so replete, so carried away on a tide of bonhomie, so in order to facilitate an easy flow of chat, I’ve arranged a little game. Under your side plates, everybody, I’ve put an envelope. In the envelope there’s a card with something written on it. You simply have to read the card and then stand up and speak for two minutes on whatever it inspires you to say. Now, who’s first?
佩奇，你知道吗，我有一种感觉，今晚的谈话可能会在这个时候变得乏味；大家都感觉如此满足，如此沉浸在友好的气氛中，因此为了促进轻松的聊天，我安排了一个小游戏。在你们的侧盘下，我放了一个信封。信封里有一张写着东西的卡片。你只需读一下卡片，然后站起来，围绕它激发的内容讲两分钟。现在，谁先来？

Hal I hate games
哈，我讨厌游戏

Paige Then get the ball rolling
佩奇然后开始行动

Hal No, thanks 哈，不用了，谢谢

Siân I will Siân 我会

Paige Splendid 佩奇·斯普伦迪德

Siân I like games
Siân 我喜欢游戏

Sian stands and opens the envelope.
Sian 站起来，打开信封。

Mike Um, sorry, Paige, but my envelope says Bob
迈克嗯，抱歉，佩奇，但我的信封上写的是鲍勃

Paige Yes, Bob is Wynne’s ex-lover, who couldn’t attend - because his genitals are hanging in her gallery - but Mike, we’re very fortunate to have you here in his place
佩奇是的，鲍勃是温的前情人，他无法出席——因为他的生殖器挂在她的画廊里——但迈克，我们很幸运你能代替他在这里

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Siân Murder Weapons. What makes you think I’m qualified to speak about this?
Siân 谋杀武器。你为什么认为我有资格谈论这个？

Paige I should think everyone’s qualified
佩奇，我想每个人都合格

Siân Murder Weapons? Siân 凶器？

Paige Just speak. First thing that comes into your head
佩奇，直接说。你脑海中浮现的第一件事。

Siân You mean what would I use if I were going to murder someone?
Siân 你是说如果我要谋杀某人我会用什么？

Paige Just in fun, of course
佩奇当然只是开玩笑

Siân A lance. (She mimes lancing Hal across the table.)
Siân A 刺。（她在桌子上模仿刺向 Hal。）

A cudgel, a meat cleaver, a chainsaw, a saucepan over the head, the flex from a mobile- phone charger, um, a cluster bomb, a bin liner, rat poison, chloroform, an asp, a blunderbuss, a pump-action automatic shotgun -
一根棍棒，一把肉刀，一把链锯，一个放在头上的平底锅，手机充电器的弹性，呃，一个集束炸弹，一个垃圾袋，老鼠药，氯仿，一条眼镜蛇，一把火枪，一把泵动式自动霰弹枪 -

Paige That’s certainly a favourite of mine
佩奇，那绝对是我最喜欢的之一

Siân A pit filled with tigers
西安一个装满老虎的坑

Mike A pool filled with sharks
迈克一池鲨鱼

Siân A malmsey butt

Mike What? 迈克，什么？

Siann It’s a tub of sherry; you can drown in it. A mallet, any kind-of electrical appliance and a bath
Siann 这是一桶雪利酒；你可以淹死在里面。一根槌子，任何种类的电器和一个浴缸。

Mike Death by hairdryer
迈克用吹风机致死

Siân Kalashnikovs, hand grenades, daggers, a flick knife, a penknife
西安卡拉什尼科夫，手榴弹，匕首，弹簧刀，折叠刀

Wynne Pliers 温恩钳子

Siân Pliers?

Wynne I’m sure you could murder someone with pliers
温恩，我敢肯定你可以用钳子杀死某人

Hal Really slowly 哈尔真的很慢

Mike Lead piping 迈克 Lead piping

Siân Yes, candlestick, revolver, hatpin, neutron bomb, boiling oil
西安是的，蜡烛，左轮手枪，帽针，中子弹，沸油

Mike A scorpion 迈克 A 蝎子

Siân Red-hot poker 西安红热钎

Mike Any kind of poisonous frog or spider
迈克任何种类的毒蛙或蜘蛛

Siân Blow dart

Wynne Tights 温妮紧身裤

Mike Bow and arrow
迈克弓和箭

Siân Tights?

Wynne mimes being hanged with a pair of tights.
Wynne 模仿用一条紧身裤被绞死的样子。

Mike Liquidiser 迈克液化器

Siân How?

Mike If it was a giant one
迈克如果它是一个巨大的那种

Siân Right. Razor blade, javelin
西安对。剃刀片，标枪

Hal An anthrax spore
霍尔一种炭疽芽孢

Siân A concrete mixer, plastic explosives, killer ants
Siân 一台混凝土搅拌机，塑料炸药，杀人蚂蚁

Wynne Can’t you kill someone with noise? You know. if it’s subliminal enough it makes all your internal organs implode or something
温恩，你难道不能用噪音杀死某人吗？你知道的，如果它足够潜意识，它会让你所有的内脏崩溃或者其他什么的。

Siân Noise, a peanut, a letter-opener, thin ice
Siân Noise，一个花生，一个开信刀，薄冰

Hal A ducking stool
哈尔一个鸭子凳

Sian A sword, quicksand, mercury in the ear
西安一把剑，流沙，耳中的汞

Mike Wow 迈克哇

Siân A set of darts, bees
Siân 一套飞镖，蜜蜂

Mike Wasps 迈克·瓦斯普斯

Wynne Cheese 温奶酪

Siân Pardon?

Wynne You could plug every orifice with cheese
温妮，你可以用奶酪堵住每个孔

Lars Cool 拉尔斯·库尔

Siân A bull whip, a cruise missile, mustard gas, nerve gas
Siân 一根牛鞭，一枚巡航导弹，芥子气，神经毒气

Mike Calor gas 迈克·卡洛尔燃气

Siân A truncheon, a baseball bat, a cat-o’-nine-tails, um mud
西安 A 警棍，一个棒球棒，一个九尾鞭，嗯，泥

Mike One of those things with spikes coming out of it on the end of a chain
迈克一种链条末端带刺的东西

Sian Yes, a- Sian 是的，a-

Mike What are they called?
迈克，他们叫什么？

Sian A gladiator thing
西安一个角斗士的事情

Mike One of those
迈克其中之一

Lars A flail 拉尔斯 A 拍打

Sian A flail, thank you. A trident
Sian A 鞭子，谢谢你。一个三叉戟

Mike A trident missile
迈克 A 三叉戟导弹

Siân A syringe full of air
Siân 一支充满空气的注射器
Wynne A combine harvester
温恩 A 联合收割机

Siân OK

Hal Weaponised marburg Hal 武器化了马尔堡病毒
Wynne What’s that? Wynne 那是什么？

Sian Oh, some microbe or other
西安哦，某种微生物或其他

Hal It’s a filovirus. It chomps away at human body organs - including the skin - until they liquefy, so that victims die awash in their own blood and putrefaction
哈尔，这是一种丝状病毒。它会侵蚀人类的器官——包括皮肤——直到它们液化，使得受害者在自己的血液和腐烂中死去。

Siân Thank you, Hal. Weaponised marburg
西安谢谢你，哈尔。武器化的马尔堡病毒
Wynne Um, one of those things that crushes cars in scrapyards
温恩，嗯，那些在废品场压扁汽车的东西

Sian A hacksaw, an electricity pylon, a banana skin at the top of a cliff, a plastic bag
Sian A 锯子，一根电力塔，悬崖顶上的香蕉皮，一个塑料袋
Mike Gaffer tape 迈克胶带

Hal Botulism, ebola 哈尔肉毒中毒，埃博拉

Siân Any other fucking microbe, have we had bleach?
Siân 其他任何该死的微生物，我们有漂白剂吗？

Wynne Don’t think so 温恩，不这么认为
Siân Bleach, a silver bullet
Siân Bleach，一种灵丹妙药

Mike A voodoo curse
迈克 A 伏都教诅咒

Siân (she holds up a lobster knife) And one of these. That must be two minutes
西安（她举起一把龙虾刀）还有这个。这必须是两分钟。

Paige Jolly good 佩奇·乔利好

Paige starts a round of applause. Siân sits.
佩奇开始鼓掌。西安坐下。

Sian I had a lot of help
Sian 我得到了很多帮助

Paige You missed out my favourite
佩奇，你错过了我最喜欢的

Lars A stake through the heart
拉尔斯一根刺穿心脏的木桩

Paige A traitor’s kiss
佩奇叛徒的吻

Siân What about a lobster? Could you kill someone with a lobster?
Siân，龙虾怎么样？你能用龙虾杀死某人吗？

Paige Only if you poisoned it
佩奇只有在你下毒的情况下

Hal And have you?
哈尔，你呢？

Paige No 佩奇号

Hal Shame 哈尔·谢姆

Siân What did you say?
Siân 你说了什么？

Hal Nothing 哈尔·诺辛

Siân What did you fucking say, Hal?
Siân 你他妈说了什么，Hal？

Hal I was making a joke
哈，我在开玩笑

Sian Well, I’m on the floor
西安好吧，我在地板上

Paige When it comes down to it, if you really wanted to kill someone it would have to be a knife, wouldn’t it?
佩奇说到底，如果你真的想杀死某人，那就得用刀，对吧？

They’re so readily available, so hard to trace
它们如此容易获得，却如此难以追踪
And silent 和沉默
(to the Waiter) What do you think?
（对服务员）你觉得怎么样？
You don’t have to answer that
你不必回答那个
Poor chap, I’m embarrassing him
可怜的家伙，我让他感到尴尬
Now, Hal, I’m sure you’d love to follow Siân
现在，Hal，我相信你会很想跟随 Siân

Hal No thanks 哈，不用了

Paige Oh, don’t be a spoilsport. Come on
佩奇，别扫兴。来吧。

Hal No 哈尔·诺

Mike Shall Iopen Bob’s?
麦克，我可以打开鲍勃的吗？

Paige Good idea, Mike. We need drinks
好主意，迈克。我们需要饮料。

The Waiter exits. Mike stands and opens his envelope.
服务员退出。迈克站起来，打开他的信封。

Mike And the winner is…Telling The Truth
迈克，获胜者是……说真话
Oh 哦

Paige Bob’s a politician, you see. I thought truth’d stump him
佩奇·鲍勃是个政治家，你看。我以为真相会让他哑口无言。

Mike Two minutes on the truth?
迈克，关于真相的两分钟？
Fuck 去你的
Why is it that lies seem much more definite than truth? One person’s vision of truth can be another’s crock of shite. Why is that? What do you think, Lars? Because as a great thinker I suppose you deal with truth all the time. Are we scared of it or are lies just better fun?
为什么谎言似乎比真相更明确？一个人对真相的看法可能是另一个人的废话。这是为什么呢？你怎么看，拉尔斯？因为作为一个伟大的思想家，我想你一直在处理真相。我们是害怕真相，还是谎言更有趣？

Lars I think you’re shirking the issue, Mike
拉尔斯，我觉得你在回避这个问题，迈克

Mike And what issue is that?
迈克，那是什么问题？

Lars Telling The Truth
拉尔斯说真话

Mike You want the truth, Lars?
迈克你想要真相吗，拉尔斯？

Lars I think we should be on the level, Mike
拉尔斯，我认为我们应该坦诚相待，迈克

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Mike OK. On the level: I’m a van driver, freelance. At the moment I’m delivering for a company in King’s Cross that mass-produces cakes
迈克好的。说实话：我是一名面包车司机，做自由职业。目前我正在为一家位于国王十字的公司送货，该公司大规模生产蛋糕。

Lars Cakes? 拉尔斯蛋糕？

Mike Yes 迈克是的

Hal What, as in cakes?
哈，什么，像蛋糕一样？

Mike And trifles, yes
迈克和琐事，是的

Hal You deliver cakes?
Hal 你送蛋糕吗？

Mike Throughout the Greater London and Home Counties area. They offered me the Midlands too, but I said no
迈克在大伦敦和家乡县地区。他们也给我提供了中部地区的机会，但我拒绝了。

Hal So you’re not a burglar?
哈，所以你不是小偷？

Mike No 迈克不

Hal So everything you’ve told us has been a lot of pork pies?
哈，所以你告诉我们的所有事情都是一堆谎言？

Mike I was in the army and I did witness the deaths of three people but, everything else - yes
迈克，我曾在军队服役，目睹了三个人的死亡，但其他一切 - 是的

Wynne Mike, you’ve told us lies
温恩·迈克，你对我们撒了谎

Mike Right the way down the line
迈克一路到底

Hal Effing typical 哈·埃芬典型

Wynne Why did you feel you had to lie to us?
温妮，为什么你觉得你必须对我们撒谎？

Mike I didn’t feel I had to. I just wanted to
迈克，我觉得我不需要这样做。我只是想要。

Wynne Have we intimidated you somehow?
Wynne，我们是不是以某种方式让你感到害怕了？

Mike No 迈克不

Wynne Because I’m sure no one’s meant to. Is it a class thing? Because, like I said, I’m very nearly the same class as you. And I’m Welsh
温因为我确信没有人是故意的。这是阶级问题吗？因为，就像我说的，我和你几乎是同一个阶级。而且我来自威尔士。

Lars He’s lied because he’s a nobody who does a shit-boring job
拉尔斯撒谎了，因为他是一个无名小卒，做着无聊透顶的工作

Mike That must be it
迈克，那一定是这样

Wynne Oh Mike, did you think it would make you seem more interesting?
温恩哦，迈克，你觉得这样会让你看起来更有趣吗？

Mike Paige, I still think that if you ever decided to opt for a life of crime that you’d be fantastic at it and that if you ever need a driver or any kind of a sidekick, I’m your man
迈克·佩奇，我仍然认为如果你决定走上犯罪的道路，你会非常出色。如果你需要一个司机或任何类型的助手，我就是你的人

Paige Thank you 佩奇，谢谢你

Mike Because just from lying about it I think I’m beginning to develop a bit of an aspirational fantasy in that direction
迈克，因为仅仅是撒谎，我觉得我开始在那个方向上发展出一点理想化的幻想

Paige Are you? 佩奇，你好吗？

Mike Do aspirational fantasies generally start out as lies, Lars? Because just to come back to telling the truth for a minute - now that we’re on the level - I’d like to ask you something
迈克，抱负的幻想通常是从谎言开始的吗，拉尔斯？因为现在我们在同一个层面上，我想问你一些事情

Lars Fire away 拉尔斯开火

Mike Do you believe everything it says in your book?
迈克，你相信你书中所说的一切吗？

Lars Absolutely 拉尔斯绝对

Mike Do you live by it?
迈克，你住在那附近吗？

Lars Of course 拉尔斯当然

Mike You think you’re the god of your own psyche-drive?
迈克你认为你是自己心理驱动的神吗？

Lars Who isn’t, Mike?
拉尔斯，谁不是呢，迈克？

Mike And you can control your own destiny and everything just by wanting it to happen?
迈克，你可以通过想要它发生来控制自己的命运和一切吗？

Lars I follow the primary life-force instinct
拉尔斯，我遵循主要的生命力本能

Mike Sorry, which is?
迈克，抱歉，哪个是？

Wynne The instinct of I Want
温妮我想要的本能

Mike OK. So don’t you think you might be living a lie?
迈克，好吧。那么你不觉得你可能在过着一个谎言吗？

Lars Why would I think that?
拉尔斯，为什么我会这么想呢？

Wynne Mike, you haven’t even read it yet
Wynne Mike，你还没读过呢

Mike You’re right. So help me with something: supposing it was my aspirational fantasy to come here and join your party tonight? As a nobody with a shit-boring job, suppose I thought I could change my life by eating with you kind and shining people here? That if I was to sit with you at your table, I’d somehow leave a different man? What would your book tell me to do?
迈克，你说得对。那么帮我一个忙：假设我有一个理想的幻想，想来这里参加你们今晚的聚会？作为一个无名小卒，做着无聊的工作，假设我认为通过和你们这些善良而闪耀的人一起用餐可以改变我的生活？如果我能坐在你们的桌子旁，我会以某种方式变成一个不同的人？你的书会告诉我该怎么做？

Lars It would tell you to be audacious
拉尔斯，它会告诉你要大胆

Mike Right 迈克·赖特

Lars It would tell you to do or die
拉尔斯，它会告诉你要么做，要么死

Mike Do or die; right. And supposing, once I’d achieved my fantasy - been accepted at your table and treated like your home was mine - supposing I found that the shining people were actually hollow and lost and alone? Suppose I found that for all their glittering ideas they were twice as
迈克，生死攸关；没错。如果假设，一旦我实现了我的幻想——被接受在你的桌子旁，像你的家是我的一样被对待——假设我发现那些闪耀的人实际上是空洞、迷失和孤独的？假设我发现，尽管他们有着闪闪发光的想法，但他们却是两倍的
empty and miserable as me? You see, what if my aspirational fantasy turned out to be shit in my hands? What would your book tell me then?
和我一样空虚和悲惨？你看，如果我的理想幻想在我手中变成了垃圾，那你的书会告诉我什么呢？

Pause. 暂停。

Siâ It would say - and put me right if I’m wrong here, Lars - it would say you’ve actually achieved it. When your fantasy loses it’s allure you move on
是的，拉尔斯，如果我说错了请纠正我，它会说你实际上已经达成了。当你的幻想失去魅力时，你就会继续前进。

Mike What to? 迈克，怎么办？

Sian The next step. The next aspiration
Sian 下一步。下一个愿望

Mike So I’d just be chasing a bigger rainbow?
迈克，那我只是追逐一个更大的彩虹吗？

Siân I think the expression Lars uses is ‘the Consumption of Experience’
Siân，我认为拉尔斯使用的表达是“体验的消费”

Mike I’d be consuming experience?
迈克，我会在消费体验吗？

Siân Yeh

Mike Like food? 迈克喜欢食物吗？

Siân I think so
Siân 我也这么认为

Mike But there’s always a waste product with food, isn’t there? I mean whether you’ve consumed lobster or a curry or whatever. What’s the waste product with experience? I mean what do you do with it?
迈克，但食物总是会有废物，对吧？我的意思是，无论你吃的是龙虾、咖喱还是其他什么。经验的废物是什么？我的意思是你该如何处理它？

Wynne Listen, Mike 温听，迈克
It’s through experience you find enlightenment and I don’t think there’s anything hollow or empty about that
通过经验你会找到启迪，我认为这没有任何空洞或空虚之处

Mike I just want to know what you do with your shit
迈克，我只是想知道你对你的事情做了什么

Wynne (Beyond Belief) is the most life-enhancing book I’ve ever read.
《超越信仰》的温恩是我读过的最能提升生活质量的书。
OK? 好的？

Mike I think my two minutes are up, Paige
迈克，我想我的两分钟到了，佩奇

Mike sits. 迈克坐着。

Paige Bravo, Mike 佩奇·布拉沃，迈克

Mike Can I still keep this Cupid even though I’ve lied?
迈克，我还能保留这个丘比特吗，即使我撒了谎？

Paige Of course; it’s for your loo
佩奇当然；这是为了你的厕所

Mike Thank you 迈克，谢谢你

Paige You have got a loo, haven’t you?
佩奇，你有厕所，对吧？

Mike I didn’t lie about that
迈克，我没有在这件事上撒谎

Paige I’m so glad. So that’s one fact we know for sure; you’re a man with a flush. And I think that answers your question about what to do with your metaphorical waste. Pull the chain and forget it existed. Isn’t that right, Lars? Although I’m sure you put it far more eloquently in your book. Now, Hal, stop brooding and open your envelope
佩奇，我很高兴。所以这是我们确定的一个事实；你是一个面红耳赤的男人。我想这回答了你关于如何处理你隐喻性废物的问题。拉动链子，忘记它的存在。对吧，拉尔斯？虽然我相信你在书中表达得更加优雅。现在，哈尔，别再沉思了，打开你的信封。

Hal No 哈尔·诺

Paige Why not? 佩奇为什么不呢？

Hal I don’t like your game
哈，我不喜欢你的游戏

Paige (to Siân) He’s a terrible sulker, isn’t he? Go on. It’s all in the name of fun
佩奇（对西安）他真是个糟糕的闹情绪的人，不是吗？继续吧。这一切都是为了好玩。

Hal I bet 哈，我打赌

Paige And I’m dying to hear your remarks. You’ll have so much to say
佩奇，我迫不及待想听听你的评论。你一定有很多话要说。

Hal stands and opens his envelope.
Hal 站起来，打开他的信封。

Hal I have nothing to say. Nothing to say on this subject at all
哈，我没有什么好说的。对此完全没有什么可说的。

Hal screws up his card and throws it onto the floor. He sits.
Hal 把他的卡弄皱了，扔到地上。他坐下。

Paige Oh Hal, come on. Be a player
佩奇，哦，哈，来吧。做个玩家。

Lars What did you give him?
拉尔斯，你给了他什么？

Paige I think it was The Euro. Don’t know why he’s so upset
佩奇，我认为是欧元。不知道他为什么这么生气。

Hal It was Suicide Attempts
哈尔，这是自杀尝试

Lars That’s beneath even you
拉尔斯，这甚至低于你

Hal I have not one word to say
哈，我没有一句话要说

Lars You calculating bitch
拉尔斯，你这个计算的婊子

Paige It was Suicide actually. A suicide attempt is a failure to achieve it
佩奇，实际上是自杀。自杀未遂是未能实现自杀。

Hal Well, why don’t you talk about it, Paige, seeing as you’re the effing expert?
好吧，为什么不让你谈谈这个，佩奇，既然你是个该死的专家？

Paige I gave you the subject because you’re the expert, Hal. How many times did Mags / attempt suicide?
佩奇，我把这个话题交给你，因为你是专家，哈尔。梅格斯尝试自杀了多少次？

Hal You gave me the subject because you hate me with a vengeance because you once drunkenly tried to shag me / and I said no
哈尔，你给我这个主题是因为你恨我入骨，因为你曾经醉酒试图和我上床，而我拒绝了

Paige You liar! I was crying on your shoulder / and you took advantage
佩奇，你这个骗子！我在你肩膀上哭泣，而你却利用了我

Hal With your vodka-soaked tongue down my throat?
哈，和你那浸泡在伏特加里的舌头在我喉咙里？

Paige You conceited PIG
佩奇，你这个自负的猪

Hal That’s the kind of friend / you were to Mags
哈，那就是你对 Mags 的朋友类型

Paige Oh, the vanity!
佩奇，真是虚荣！

Hal I had to peel you off, bat you away / like an effing parasite
哈，我不得不把你撇开，像个该死的寄生虫一样把你打走

Paige Do you honestly think I would touch you? I know you. Yuck
佩奇，你真的认为我会碰你吗？我知道你。恶心。

Hal The ‘Yuck’ is entirely mutual
哈，"恶心"是完全相互的

Paige I’m with the Ancient Greeks and the Japanese on the subject of suicide
佩奇，我在自杀问题上与古希腊人和日本人一致

Lars Shut up 拉尔斯，闭嘴

Paige I think it’s a noble and honourable way to die
佩奇，我认为这是一种高尚而光荣的死法

Lars I’ve had enough
拉尔斯，我受够了

Paige To take control of one’s death requires the kind of courage that few of us possess. To attempt and fail is a tragedy. One has to seek and embrace it with complete dedication
掌控自己的死亡需要一种我们少有人具备的勇气。尝试并失败是一种悲剧。人必须全心全意地去追求和拥抱它。

Lars WELL WHY DON’T YOU?
拉尔斯，为什么不呢？

Pause. Paige is crumbling.
暂停。佩奇正在崩溃。

Sian It was five times, actually. Once in her teens, once when she lost her baby, once when she heard about me, once when she was diagnosed with cancer and once more on our wedding day. Poor old Mags. Bit of a hobby really (a hysterical giggle)
西安其实是五次。一次是在她十几岁的时候，一次是她失去孩子的时候，一次是她听说我的时候，一次是她被诊断出癌症的时候，还有一次是在我们的婚礼当天。可怜的老玛格斯。这真有点像个爱好（歇斯底里的咯咯笑）。

Hal Jesus 哈利·耶稣

You have no idea, no idea what you’re talking about
你根本不知道，你根本不知道你在说什么

Sian Oh, forgive me. Have I dared to speak of the precious Mags? I’m not worthy to mention her beloved name
西安哦，原谅我。我敢谈论珍贵的 Mags 吗？我不配提及她心爱的名字。

Hal Until this moment I thought that Paige was the biggest bitch I’d ever met, but she’s like a yappy lapdog next to you
哈尔，直到此刻我都认为佩奇是我见过的最讨厌的人，但她在你面前就像一只吠叫的小狗
You wait until the wound is open, then pounce
你等到伤口打开，然后猛扑上去
Like a slavering hyena
像一只流口水的土狼

Siân D’you know something, Hal
Siân D’你知道什么，Hal
You want to watch it
你想看它

Hal Most contemptible beast in all the field
哈尔最可鄙的野兽在整个田野中

Sian You want to watch it
Sian 你想看它

Hal Oh/dol?

Siân Because you’re rapidly turning into one of the undead
Siân 因为你正在迅速变成不死族之一

Hal The what? 哈尔什么？

Sian Sucking youth and life out of the livingLike a dried-up, burnt-out, stuck-on barnacle
西安吸取年轻和生活的活人像一个干枯、烧焦、粘在上面的藤壶

Hal And you 哈尔你呢
Are a praying mantis looking for a mate! / You want to fuck me
你是一只寻找伴侣的螳螂！/ 你想和我发生关系

Siân Oh, stop this disgusting self-pity / and get on with your life
Siân，停止这种令人厌恶的自怜，继续你的生活

Hal Then pull my head off and devour it
哈，然后把我的头扯下来吃掉
Just like you did to that lobster
就像你对那只龙虾所做的那样

Sian I didn’t fuck the lobster
Sian，我没有操龙虾
You Stupid Sad Old Man
你这个愚蠢可悲的老头

Pause. Siân is determined not to cry.
暂停。西安下定决心不哭。

Wynne Um, shall we, you know, talk about something else? We’re all getting a bit bogged down in You know
温恩，嗯，我们要不要谈点别的？我们都有点陷入了你知道的事情
Grimness 阴郁
And, um 而，嗯

Hal Siân

Siân What? Siân 什么？

Hal I am not undead
哈，我不是不死族

Siân And lam nota
I’m your wife, you lucky cunt
我是你的妻子，你这个幸运的混蛋

Wynne Look, I’m sorry, but please
温妮看，我很抱歉，但请
Cunt is an orchid, a moist purse
阴道是一种兰花，一个潮湿的钱包
It’s the apex of eroticism, not an expletive
这是色情的顶峰，而不是一个脏话

Hal Why do you undermine me in front of my friends?
哈尔，为什么你在我朋友面前贬低我？

Siân Because you don’t shape up, Hal. You do not fucking shape up
西安，因为你没有改正，哈尔。你根本没有改正。

Hal Then why, why did you throw yourself at me?
哈，那么你为什么要向我投怀送抱呢？

Siân You / FOOL

Hal I’m your husband
哈，我是你的丈夫

Siân No

Hal You lucky purse
哈，你的幸运钱包

Siân No! Siân 不！

Hal What d’you mean, no? I effing married you, didn’t I?
Hal，你什么意思，不？我他妈的嫁给你了，不是吗？

Siân No, I don’t know who you are! I don’t even know what job you do Who the fuck are you, Hal?
西安，不，我不知道你是谁！我甚至不知道你做什么工作。你到底是谁，哈尔？

Hal I’ve told you about my
哈，我跟你说过我的

Siân exits. Siân 退出。

Shit 屎

Hal follows her out.
Hal 跟着她出去。

Paige We need drinks
佩奇，我们需要饮料

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

Wynne I know Sian’s probably a post-feminist and everything and she thinks that in trying to reinvent the word cunt she’s empowering herself - or something - but I don’t think it gives her an excuse. She’s abusing a beautiful thing
温妮，我知道西安可能是个后女权主义者，她认为通过重新定义“cunt”这个词来赋予自己权力——或者说是这样——但我认为这并不能成为她的借口。她在滥用一件美好的事物。

Mike Why don’t you open your envelope, Wynne?
迈克，为什么你不打开你的信封，温？

Paige Great idea 佩奇好主意

Wynne (to Lars) Shall I?
Wynne（对 Lars）我可以吗？

Lars (standing) l’ll open it
拉尔斯（站着）我来打开它

Lars takes Wynne’s envelope and opens it.
拉尔斯拿起温的信封并打开它。

Lars (he reads) How Wynne met Lars. Do you know, it would be a pleasure to speak about this
拉尔斯（他在阅读）温恩是如何遇见拉尔斯的。你知道，谈论这个将是一种乐趣。

Wynne Oh, yes, go on please. It’s a funny story. Let’s have a funny story
温恩哦，是的，请继续。这是一个有趣的故事。让我们听一个有趣的故事。

Paige Ha 佩奇·哈

Lars This is more than twenty years ago, long before I
拉尔斯这已经是二十多年前的事了，远在我之前
When we were 当我们在

Wynne Gorgeously young 温妮华丽的年轻

Lars Wynne came to my stall at the Freshers’ Fair. She was in the first year and I was in the third, sole member of the Nietzsche For Now Soc. She was such a breath of fresh air. She was wearing this green skirt - a terrible thing, which it later transpired she’d made herself
拉尔斯·温恩在迎新会时来到了我的摊位。她是大一学生，而我则是大三，尼采社的唯一成员。她真是如同一阵清新的空气。她穿着一条绿色的裙子——一件可怕的东西，后来得知是她自己做的。

Wynne Out of that pretend turf you get in greengrocers. I thought it was so Bowie
温出自那种在蔬菜商那里得到的假草。我觉得这太鲍伊了。

Lars Anyway, she asked who Nietzsche was and I tried to tell her about Zarathustra and the Will To Power and she made a joke
拉尔斯不管怎样，她问尼采是谁，我试着告诉她关于查拉图斯特拉和意志力的事情，她开了个玩笑

Wynne I said willy to power because it sounded like a lot of cock
我说威利给权力，因为听起来像很多鸡巴

Lars You remember 拉尔斯，你还记得吗

Wynne Yes 温妮是的

Lars And she smiled and these dimples came into her cheeks - look, still there - and my knees went completely weak. Anyway she went and joined the Wooden Earrings Society or something and I felt bereft. She wasn’t interested
拉尔斯，她微笑着，脸颊上出现了酒窝——看，仍然在那儿——我的膝盖完全软了。无论如何，她去加入了木耳环协会之类的东西，我感到失落。她并不感兴趣。

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Wynne I was a feminist separatist then and I thought I was a lesbian but it was just a phase and anyway I was still a virgin so what did I know - although I still find women attractive
温妮，我那时是一个女权主义分离主义者，我以为自己是个女同性恋者，但那只是一个阶段，反正我还是个处女，所以我知道什么呢——尽管我仍然觉得女性有吸引力

Lars Great. Anyway I found out she was studying Art with Drama so I started to hang out with the Artniks. When I heard she was in a production of The House of Bernarda Alba I put myself forward for one of the roles and got laughed out of the room
拉尔斯太好了。无论如何，我发现她在学习艺术和戏剧，所以我开始和艺术家们一起玩。当我听说她在《贝尔纳达·阿尔巴的家》里演出时，我主动申请了一个角色，结果被嘲笑出房间。

Wynne I was playing that girl whose breasts burst like pomegranates and that’s when I began to think about eroticism as a means of personal growth. Of course I was reading a lot of Ana’s Nin at the time
温妮，我在扮演那个胸部像石榴一样爆裂的女孩，那时我开始思考色情作为个人成长的一种手段。当然，那时我读了很多安娜·阿基诺的书。

Lars She’d dyed her hair black. Why?
拉尔斯，她把头发染成了黑色。为什么？

Wynne And I started to look for a man who could, you know, take my cherry. It was becoming such a burden. I mean, I’d slept with women but I just thought I wouldn’t know myself until I’d had that penile experience. Nin spoke about being joyously impaled on a man’s sensual mast and I thought crikey, that sounds fun. And there was Lars, hanging around with books of German philosophers under his arm and a badge saying ‘Vote for the Antichrist’
温和和我开始寻找一个可以，嗯，夺走我处女之身的男人。这变得如此沉重。我是说，我和女人发生过关系，但我只是觉得在经历过那种阴茎的体验之前，我不会真正了解自己。宁谈到被一个男人的感性桅杆欢快地刺穿，我想，哇，那听起来很有趣。然后是拉尔斯，手里夹着德国哲学家的书，肩上挂着一个写着“投票给反基督”的徽章。

Lars Wynne I had no idea it was your cherry
拉斯·温 I had no idea it was your cherry

Wynne Oh, you must have known
温恩，哦，你一定知道

Lars I hadn’t a clue. I feel really honoured
拉尔斯，我完全不知道。我感到非常荣幸。

Wynne I was just using you as a sex object
温妮，我只是把你当作性对象

Lars Well, anytime 拉尔斯好的，随时可以

Wynne giggles. Siân enters followed by Hal. He is trying to embrace her.
温妮咯咯笑。西安走进来，后面跟着哈尔。他试图拥抱她。

Hal I am trying to live. What do you think I’m trying to do?
哈，我在努力生活。你觉得我在试图做什么？
Do you think it’s easy?
你认为这很简单吗？

Sian returns his embrace with a sob.
西安用抽泣回应了他的拥抱。

Siân Noldon’t
I don’t 我不
I don’t 我不

They hold each other.
他们相互拥抱。

Wynne Why don’t I open your envelope?
Wynne 我为什么不打开你的信封？

Lars Don’t bother; it’s / a stupid game
拉尔斯，别费心了；这是一场愚蠢的游戏

Wynne I want to. I really do
Wynne，我想要。我真的想。

Hal I’m so sorry. My poor baby
哈，我很抱歉。我的可怜的宝贝。

Siân (pushing him away) Oh God
西安（推开他）哦，天哪
I am not your fucking
我不是你的他妈的

Hal Siân, please Hal Siân，请

Siân Why dol-
Why do I (love you)
我为什么（爱你）

Sian exits. Hal follows. Wynne opens Lars’ envelope.
Sian 退出。Hal 跟随。Wynne 打开 Lars 的信封。

Wynne Death 温妮·德斯

Lars Oh, don’t touch it
拉尔斯哦，别碰它

Wynne I want to
Wynne 我想要

Lars Don’t even go near it
拉尔斯，别靠近它

Wynne I can and I will. Willy to power
Wynne，我可以，我会。Willy to power

Paige We need drinks
佩奇，我们需要饮料

Lars We’ve got fucking drinks, my love
拉尔斯，我们有他妈的饮料，我的爱

The Waiter exits. Wynne prepares herself.
服务员退出。温准备好自己。

Wynne Death is the end of life
温死亡是生命的终结
If I was to paint it, it would be hideous and yet
如果我来画它，它会是丑陋的，但却
I don’t think death is a hideous thing
我不认为死亡是一件可怕的事情
It is physically hideous and that makes us afraid
它在外观上令人厌恶，这让我们感到害怕
But as I said earlier I’ve actually come to a calm place about death
但正如我之前所说，我实际上对死亡已经达到了一个平静的状态
A place of resigned -
一个无奈的地方 -

Paige Inspired resignation was the wonderful phrase
佩奇启发的辞职是一个美妙的短语

Wynne Yes. I don’t know whether I should say
温恩是的。我不知道我是否应该说
But yes 但是是的
My mother died a year ago and
我母亲在一年前去世了，
And actually one of the things that helped me move away from that place was Lars’ book
实际上，帮助我离开那个地方的原因之一是拉尔斯的书

As he says 正如他说的
Nothing enhances life more than death
没有什么比死亡更能增强生命

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务。

Knowing that we face death,
知道我们面临死亡，
We are forced to live
我们被迫生活
Or succumb to darkness
或屈服于黑暗
Um, I used to think that -
嗯，我以前认为 -
I can only say it in the words of Keats - ‘It would be sweet to die, to cease upon the midnight with no pain’
我只能用济慈的话来说 - “死去是甜蜜的，在午夜无痛地停止。”

That to hurl oneself at death would be somehow to cheat it
那种向死亡投掷自己似乎是在某种程度上欺骗它
That death was linked to desire
那死亡与欲望有关
That if death was a figure he would be Byronic in a dark suit
如果死亡是一个形象，他将身穿黑色西装，具有拜伦式的风格
Death would wear Hugo Boss
死亡将穿着 Hugo Boss
But now I think that death is nothing
但现在我认为死亡毫无意义
And that nothing is everything
而且没有什么就是一切
I can face it calmly and feel its power
我可以冷静地面对它，感受它的力量
It must be the biggest orgasm one ever has
这一定是一个人经历过的最大高潮
That’s all. The end
就这些。结束。

Lars Nothing is everything. Everything is nothing. You’re right
拉尔斯，虚无即一切。一切即虚无。你是对的。

Wynne Bit waffly Wynne Bit 有点啰嗦

Lars Well done 拉尔斯，干得好

Lars holds up his glass. Wynne clinks it with hers.
拉尔斯举起他的酒杯。温妮用她的酒杯轻轻碰了一下。

Wynne Aren’t you going to eat your lobster, Paige? Having gone to the trouble of murdering it
温恩，你不打算吃你的龙虾吗，佩奇？既然你费心去杀了它

Paige I’m going to have it preserved and made into a telephone
佩奇，我会把它保存下来并做成一个电话

Siân enters. Siân 进入。

Siân Just chucked up
Siân Just 吐了

Wynne Oh no 温妮哦不

Siân Really barfed Siân 真的是呕吐了

Wynne Where? 温在哪里？

Siân looks round as Hal enters. He’s taken his jacket and shirt off. He wears a white vest and Lars’ trousers from the opening scene.
Siân 环顾四周，看到 Hal 进来。他脱掉了外套和衬衫，穿着一件白色背心和开场场景中的 Lars 的裤子。

Hal Um got a bit hot
Hal Um 有点热
Saw these down by the pool
在泳池旁看到了这些
Thought I’d try 'em for size
我想试试它们的大小

Lars They look cool, Hal
拉尔斯他们看起来很酷，哈尔
Really cool 真的很酷

Paige Waiter, could you clear? I think we’ve finished with the main
佩奇·韦特，你能清理一下吗？我想我们已经完成了主要部分

The Waiter begins to clear.
服务员开始清理。

Siân Hal

Hal (angrily) What? 哈尔（生气地）什么？

Siân Nothing

Lars Don’t you have an envelope, my love?
拉尔斯，亲爱的，你没有信封吗？

Paige I thought it unfair to choose my own subject
佩奇，我觉得选择我自己的主题不公平
So you have an envelope for me
所以你有一个信封给我吗

Lars Dol? 拉尔斯·多尔？

Paige It arrived from your lawyer aeons ago and you put it in your desk Why don’t you go and fetch it?
佩奇，它是很久以前从你的律师那里寄来的，你把它放在了你的桌子里。你为什么不去拿一下呢？

Lars Whatever you wish, my love
拉尔斯无论你想要什么，我的爱

Lars exits. 拉尔斯退出。

Sian Mike, while you were on the loo getting your Cupid, Lars tried to call the police to tell them that you’d robbed next door. Paige grabbed the phone and stopped him. Just thought you might like to know
西安·迈克，当你在厕所里拿你的丘比特时，拉尔斯试图打电话给警察告诉他们你抢劫了隔壁。佩奇抢过电话阻止了他。只是想让你知道一下。

Mike Thanks. Fuck 迈克，谢谢。去你妈的。

Wynne I don’t think he wanted to shop you, Mike. I just think he wanted the police to know that, you know, there may have been a burglary next door and everything because, you know, they like to know these things
温恩，我觉得他并不想让你购物，迈克。我只是觉得他想让警察知道，你知道，隔壁可能发生了入室盗窃之类的事情，因为，你知道，他们喜欢知道这些事情。

Mike Right. And Paige stood up for me?
迈克，对。佩奇为我站出来了吗？

Wynne Well, anyway, it doesn’t matter because you just deliver cakes and it would have been awfully embarrassing if the police had come and searched your van and just found profiteroles
温妮，好吧，无论如何，这没关系，因为你只是送蛋糕，如果警察来了搜查你的面包车，只发现泡芙，那就太尴尬了

Siân (to Hal) I'm / pregnant
Siân（对 Hal）我怀孕了

Hal is dumbfounded. 哈尔感到震惊。

Wynne I mean, you’d have looked silly and they’d have / been cross and
温恩，我是说，你会显得很傻，他们会生气的，

Mike I think it’s time I went
迈克，我觉得是时候我走了

Paige No 佩奇号

Mike I better had
迈克，我最好还是这样

Paige Don’t go 佩奇，别走
Please 请

Lars returns with an envelope. He hands it to Paige. She opens it. She takes out some documents and reads.
拉尔斯带着一个信封回来。他把它递给佩奇。她打开信封，拿出一些文件并阅读。

How Lars Dumped Paige 拉尔斯是如何甩掉佩奇的
I’m sorry; it’s just too boring
对不起；这实在是太无聊了
So my subject for tonight
所以我今晚的主题
Is T. E. Lawrence
T. E. 劳伦斯

Lars God spare us
拉尔斯，上帝保佑我们

Paige Yes  佩奇是的
One Christmas  一个圣诞节
My uncle who worked in the city threw a fabulous party
我在城市工作的叔叔举办了一场精彩的派对
We were all to arrive in fancy dress
我们都要穿着华丽的服装到达
And there was champagne and magic and dancing till dawn
还有香槟、魔法和舞蹈直到黎明
I wanted to come as a gorilla but my mother forced me into a
我想以大猩猩的身份出现，但我母亲强迫我穿上一个
Grecian robe  希腊长袍

Lars Athene, goddess of order and justice
拉尔斯·阿泰娜，秩序与正义的女神

Paige I’d put rubber pythons in my hair
佩奇，我会把橡胶蟒蛇放在我的头发里
And when I was announced
当我被宣布时
Raging at the shallow splendour of it all
对这一切肤浅的辉煌感到愤怒
The first thing I saw was a
我看到的第一件事是一个
Dazzling young man 耀眼的年轻人
Dressed as T. E. Lawrence
打扮成 T. E. 劳伦斯
He was just a graduate serving drinks
他只是一个毕业生，负责端饮料

But Uncle Moneybags liked him
但钱袋叔叔喜欢他

Liked the gleam of that pristine psyche-drive
喜欢那种原始心灵驱动的光泽
So he introduced me
所以他介绍了我
Lars of Arabia 阿拉伯的拉尔斯
We ended up 我们最终结束了
We laughed at them
我们嘲笑了他们
Laughed at their age and their lies
嘲笑他们的年龄和谎言
And then in the darkness we
然后在黑暗中我们

Paige abruptly sits. 佩奇突然坐下。

Etcetera 等等

Hal (to Siañ) Are you?
Hal（对 Siañ）你好吗？

Siân Yes Siân 是的

Hal starts to sob. He clings to Sian.
哈尔开始抽泣。他紧紧抱住西安。

Wynne What is it? Have I missed something?
Wynne 这是什么？我错过了什么吗？

Paige (leafing through the papers) I think she’s up the spout
佩奇（翻阅文件）我觉得她有麻烦了

Wynne Oh gosh. That’s super
温妮哦天哪。那太棒了

Lars Well done, mate. Thrilled
拉尔斯，干得好，伙计。兴奋不已。

Hal continues to sob. Siân is crying too.
Hal 继续抽泣。Siân 也在哭。

Mike Have you got children, Paige?
迈克，你有孩子吗，佩奇？

Paige No 佩奇号

Mike I’ve got a daughter
迈克，我有一个女儿

Paige Oh? 佩奇哦？

Mike She’s beautiful 迈克，她很美

Paige I don’t doubt it
佩奇，我不怀疑

Mike Here 迈克在这里

He shows Paige a photograph. She discards the papers and looks at it. She is moved.
他给佩奇看了一张照片。她扔掉了那些纸张，专注地看着它。她感动了。

Mike She lives with her mum but I see her a lot
迈克，她和她的妈妈住在一起，但我经常见到她

Paige She’s very like you
佩奇她很像你

Wynne I’ve got two grown-up sons
温恩，我有两个成年儿子
Tower over me 在我之上高耸
Can hardly believe it sometimes
有时候真难以相信

Paige Thank you 佩奇，谢谢你

Paige hands the photograph back to Mike.
佩奇把照片还给迈克。

Wynne One’s doing GCSEs and the other’s Well he’s in rehab, actually
Wynne 一个正在参加 GCSE 考试，另一个嘛，实际上他在康复中心

Lars (sympathetically) Hey
拉尔斯（同情地）嘿

Paige They’re wonderful, aren’t they?
佩奇，它们真棒，不是吗？
Offspring 后代
You can lose yourself in their laughter and simplicity
你可以沉浸在他们的笑声和简单中
And in their joy and openness you can forget
在他们的喜悦和开放中，你可以忘记
For years and years
多年以后
That life is completely
那生活是完全的

Pause. 暂停。

Mike Can I get you anything, Paige?
麦克，我可以为你拿点什么吗，佩奇？

Paige Where’s the waiter?
佩奇，服务员在哪里？

Waiter I’m here 服务员，我在这里

Paige Yes 佩奇是的

Paige takes the Waiter’s hand.
佩奇握住了服务员的手。

Paige Let’s do as we arranged
佩奇，我们按计划来吧

The Waiter bows. He exits.
服务员鞠躬。他退出。

Lars And what’s that, Paige? What have you arranged?
拉尔斯，那是什么，佩奇？你安排了什么？

Paige Desserts 佩奇甜点
Just desserts 应得的惩罚

Scene 4. Dessert 场景 4. 甜点

Hal and Siân are sitting together, the sobbing over. The Waiter is serving the diners with fancy frozen desserts. He finishes.
哈尔和西安坐在一起，哭泣结束了。服务员正在为食客们提供精致的冷冻甜点。他完成了。

Paige (to the Waiter) We need drinks
佩奇（对服务员）我们需要饮料

Lars Yes, drinks, I’ll have five
拉尔斯是的，饮料，我要五杯

Paige Thank you 佩奇，谢谢你

The Waiter exits. 服务员退出。

It seems that this is our last supper, darling
亲爱的，看来这是我们的最后的晚餐
And the dessert I’ve created is more appropriate than I hoped. It’s an indication of what your life will be like without me
我创造的甜点比我希望的更合适。这表明了没有我的生活将会是什么样子。

Hal What is it?
哈，是什么？

Paige Frozen Waste 佩奇冰冻废料
Tuck in 收起

Paige begins to eat. Mike joins her.
佩奇开始吃东西。迈克加入了她。

Mike This looks like a baked bean
迈克这看起来像是一个烤豆子

Paige Probably is. I just went through the contents of yesterday’s bin and added sugar
Paige 可能是。我刚刚查看了昨天的垃圾箱内容，并添加了糖。

Mike Right. It’s really tasty
迈克，对。真的很好吃。

Paige It contains no slaughterhouse products
佩奇它不包含屠宰场产品

Mike I think that’s a cat treat
迈克，我觉得那是猫零食

Paige And someone very lucky’s got the furred tomato that I found at the back of the fridge
Paige 和一个非常幸运的人得到了我在冰箱后面找到的毛茸茸的番茄

The Waiter enters with drinks. He serves them, giving five to Lars.
服务员端着饮料进来。他为他们服务，给了拉尔斯五杯。

Mike Well, it’s great, Paige. Really nice
迈克好吧，太好了，佩奇。真的很不错。

Paige Thank you 佩奇，谢谢你

Mike Is there any more?
迈克，还有更多吗？

Paige I’m afraid not. But I could always rustle some up. Our bin’s a cornucopia of excess
佩奇，我恐怕不行。但我可以随时弄一些。我们的垃圾桶里是过剩的丰饶。

Siân involuntarily retches. Paige and Mike continue to eat.
Siân 不由自主地呕吐。Paige 和 Mike 继续吃。

Hal What happened to those pizzas, Lars? Got a woman eating for two here
哈，拉尔斯，那些比萨饼怎么了？这里有个女人在吃两个人的份

Lars Shall I phone and bother them?
拉尔斯，我应该打电话打扰他们吗？

Hal Expect the delivery kid’s got lost in the fog. They send them out on those rickety little scooters; poor sod’s probably come a cropper
哈尔期待送货的小孩在雾中迷路了。他们让他们骑着那些摇摇欲坠的小滑板车；可怜的家伙可能摔了个四脚朝天。

Wynne My eldest son delivered pizzas for a while. I couldn’t believe the conditions; I told him he should start a union. But he didn’t seem to mind. Scooted about every night, happy as Larry. Turned out he was using it as a cover for his dealing
温恩，我的大儿子送了好一段时间的披萨。我简直不敢相信那里的条件；我告诉他应该成立一个工会。但他似乎并不在意。每晚都忙忙碌碌，开心得像拉里。结果发现他是把这当作自己交易的掩护。

Paige What pizzas are we talking about?
Paige 我们在谈论什么披萨？

Lars The pizzas I ordered when it became obvious that your food was inedible
拉尔斯我点的披萨是在你们的食物明显无法食用时

Paige Has my meal failed to please you, my dearest love?
佩奇，我的爱人，我的饭菜没有让你满意吗？

Lars No, I’m just thrilled with everything that you’ve done tonight
拉尔斯，不，我对你今晚所做的一切感到非常兴奋

Paige Thank you for saying so. I tried so hard
佩奇，谢谢你这么说。我努力了很多。

Lars Your meal confirms everything that I believe about you
拉尔斯，你的餐点证实了我对你的所有信念

Paige I thought you’d gone Beyond Belief, Lars
佩奇，我以为你已经超越信仰了，拉尔斯

Lars You’re a black hole
拉尔斯，你是一个黑洞

Paige Really, dear? 佩奇真的，亲爱的？

Lars A centre of negativity, actively destructive of all that’s around you
拉尔斯一个消极的中心，积极破坏周围的一切

Paige That’s nice 佩奇，那很好

Lars The kindest thing I could say is that you’re not responsible for the depth of your psychosis
拉尔斯，我能说的最善良的话是，你对自己精神病的深度并不负责

Paige Thank you 佩奇，谢谢你

Lars But I’m not kind, I’m truthful. You’re a slow poison. And here in my house, surrounded by my friends I’m going to liberate myself. I wash my hands of you, Paige. You can creep to decrepitude alone
拉尔斯，但我不是善良，我是诚实的。你是一种慢性毒药。在我家里， surrounded by my friends，我要解放自己。我和你划清界限，佩奇。你可以独自走向衰老。

Paige Well 佩奇·韦尔

That brings me on to my joke for the evening
这让我想到了我今晚的笑话
I think every hostess should have a joke up her sleeve. When her guests have drunken, sobbed and letched their way through her repast there’s nothing quite like a funny joke to finish things off. It fills the air with joy and melts even the sternest of hearts. So. There once was a woman who -
我认为每位女主人都应该有一个笑话在心里。当她的客人们喝醉、哭泣并在她的宴席上流连忘返时，没有什么比一个有趣的笑话更能为这一切画上句号。它让空气充满欢乐，甚至融化最严厉的心。所以，有一个女人曾经——

Paige lets out an uncontrollable sob. It frightens her. She struggles to control herself.
佩奇发出无法控制的抽泣。这让她感到害怕。她努力控制自己。

Mike I think I know this joke
迈克，我想我知道这个笑话
There was once a woman who married a block of ice, thinking that it was a man
从前有一个女人，她嫁给了一块冰，以为那是一个男人

Lars What’s the punch line, Mike?
拉尔斯，笑话的关键是什么，迈克？

Mike There isn’t one. It’s just a fucking joke
迈克，根本没有。这只是个他妈的笑话。

Lars I don’t see anybody laughing
拉尔斯，我看不到有人在笑

Mike Are you going to eat your Frozen Waste, Lars?
迈克，你要吃你的冷冻垃圾吗，拉尔斯？

Lars No 拉尔斯·诺

Mike I think you ought
迈克，我认为你应该

Lars Why? 拉尔斯，为什么？

Mike Because the dish was created in your honour
迈克，因为这道菜是为了纪念你而创作的

Lars I’m not hungry, Mike.
拉尔斯，我不饿，迈克。

Mike Why don’t you have it? Paige made it for you
迈克，为什么你没有它？佩奇是为你做的

Lars She hardly killed herself over it, did she? It’s out of the bin
拉尔斯，她几乎没有为此自杀，对吧？它已经不在垃圾桶里了

Mike That’s not the point
迈克，这不是重点

Lars I don’t want it, thank you
拉尔斯，我不想要，谢谢

Mike Why not? 迈克，为什么不呢？

Lars Because the thought of it makes me want to spew
拉尔斯，因为这个想法让我想要呕吐

Mike Lars, I think you should eat up your Frozen Waste
迈克·拉尔斯，我认为你应该吃掉你的冷冻废物

Lars I’m sorry? 拉尔斯，我很抱歉？

Mike You should eat your Frozen Waste before it melts
迈克，你应该在冰冻垃圾融化之前吃掉它

Lars Mike, are you fucking with me? Why are you trying to fuck with me at my own table? I don’t think it’s very polite
拉尔斯·迈克，你在跟我开玩笑吗？你为什么要在我自己的桌子上跟我捣乱？我觉得这不是很礼貌

Wynne Mike? Why have you taken a dislike to Lars?
Wynne Mike？你为什么对 Lars 产生了厌恶？
Only I think he’s been nice to you
只有我觉得他对你很好
He let you in here
他让你进来了
And I don’t think he deserves it
我不认为他值得这样

Mike Do you know what I think, Wynne?
迈克，你知道我在想什么吗，温？

Wynne What? Wynne 什么？

Mike I think Lars is a cunt
迈克，我觉得拉尔斯是个混蛋

Pause. 暂停。

Hal Well done, Paige. Must be nice to know you haven’t lost your touch
哈，干得好，佩奇。知道你没有失去你的手艺一定很不错。

Lars Yes, she’s still got it, hasn’t she?
拉尔斯是的，她仍然拥有它，不是吗？

Hal Good old Paige; it’s quite amazing. She could always pull at thirty paces
好老派奇；这真令人惊讶。她总是能在三十步外拉动。

Lars And so subtly too
拉尔斯，且如此微妙

Hal She has them wrapped round her finger before they’re even aware. Mike, old pal; you’re being had
Hal 她在他们意识到之前就已经把他们玩弄于股掌之中。Mike，老朋友；你被耍了。

Mike I’m not old, Hal. And I’m not your pal. I think you’re a sad fuckwit
迈克，我并不老，哈尔。而且我不是你的朋友。我觉得你是个可悲的傻瓜。

Hal I’m not sad
哈，我并不难过

Mike And Lars is a cunt
迈克和拉尔斯是个混蛋

Hal Listen, mate, you’re a cocky little git and if you try anything funny I’m on your effing case
哈，听着，伙计，你真是个自以为是的小家伙，如果你敢搞什么花样，我就会盯着你

Mike What sort of funny thing do you think I might try? Ventriloquism?
迈克，你觉得我可能会尝试什么有趣的事情？腹语术？

Hal I’m warning you
哈，我警告你

Mike Well, I’m shitting myself
迈克好吧，我紧张得要命

Hal You should be. I used to box for effing Wiltshire
哈，你应该是。我以前在该死的威尔特郡拳击。

Mike Is that some kind of a speech impediment you’ve got, that you can’t say fucking?
迈克，你是不是有什么语言障碍，不能说“他妈的”？

Hal Watch it, tosser, or I’ll punch your bollocks out through your throat
哈，注意点，混蛋，否则我会把你的蛋蛋打到你喉咙里

Siân Hal

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Siân I beg you to grow up
Siân 我求你成熟一点

Lars Why do you think I’m a cunt, Mike? I’m intrigued
拉尔斯，你为什么觉得我是个混蛋，迈克？我很感兴趣

Mike Well, frankly, Lars, you’ve got it tattooed on your forehead in big black letters
迈克好吧，坦率地说，拉尔斯，你的额头上用大黑字纹了这个

Hal Bullshit. You don’t like Lars because he’s got more money than you’ll ever dream of and it’s so obvious it’s almost sad
哈尔胡说。你不喜欢拉尔斯，因为他的钱比你梦寐以求的还要多，这一点显而易见，几乎让人感到悲哀。

Mike Why are you so loyal to him?
迈克，为什么你对他如此忠诚？
He couldn’t give a toss whether you lived or died
他根本不在乎你是生是死

Wynne That’s so not true
温妮，那完全不是真的

Mike He couldn’t give a toss whether anyone lived or died
迈克根本不在乎任何人是生是死

Wynne You’re so wrong, Mike. Lars has a huge soul
温恩，你错了，迈克。拉尔斯有一个巨大的灵魂。

Mike Wynne, good luck
迈克·温恩，祝好运

'Cause if you’re throwing yourself at him you’re going to need it That man is Frozen Waste
因为如果你向他投怀送抱，你就需要这个。那个人是 Frozen Waste
He is totally fucking sterile
他完全是个他妈的无精之人
There’s about as much passion in him as there is in a dead penguin
他身上的热情就像一只死企鹅一样

Lars (stands) OK 拉尔斯（站着）好的
Party over, Mike 聚会结束，迈克

Mike Are you asking me to leave?
迈克，你是在问我是否要离开吗？

Lars I’m telling you. Get out
拉尔斯，我告诉你。出去。

Paige Before we’ve had the cheeseboard? Unthinkable
佩奇在我们享用奶酪拼盘之前？不可想象

Mike Um, Paige would like me to stay
迈克，嗯，佩奇希望我留下来

Lars (taking hold of Mike) Out
拉尔斯（抓住迈克）出局

Mike Ooops 迈克哦不

Lars Get out 拉尔斯，出去

Mike Looks like I’m going, then
迈克，看起来我得走了

Lars Damn right 拉尔斯当然没错

Lars frogmarches Mike to the exit. The Waiter is in front of it.
拉尔斯强行把迈克带到出口。服务员在出口前面。

Mike Thanks for a really great dinner, Paige
迈克，谢谢你准备的美味晚餐，佩奇

Lars OUT

Paige (to the Waiter) He’ll stay for coffee, of course
佩奇（对服务员）他当然会留下来喝咖啡

Lars SCUM 拉尔斯 SCUM

Mike (handing Lars his book) I think this is yours
迈克（把书递给拉尔斯）我想这是你的

Lars takes the book and flings it to the ground.
拉尔斯拿起书，把它扔到地上。

Lars Fuck off! 拉尔斯，滚开！

Mike I need my coat actually. He took my coat and I’m not leaving without it
迈克，我实际上需要我的外套。他拿了我的外套，我不带着它是不会离开的。

Lars (to the Waiter) Get him his coat
拉尔斯（对服务员）给他拿上外套

Mike And my Cupid. Paige gave that to me and I’m taking it home to my bog
迈克和我的丘比特。佩奇把那个给了我，我要把它带回我的沼泽。

Lars I said get this scum his coat
拉尔斯，我说把这家伙的外套给他
Are you deaf? 你聋吗？

Mike I mean seriously, pal, maybe you should get me my coat 'cause I can feel a big negative influxion coming your way
迈克，我是说，老兄，也许你应该给我拿件外套，因为我能感觉到一股强烈的负面影响正朝你袭来

Lars Right 拉尔斯·赖特
Move 移动

Paige Are we ready for coffee, everyone?
佩奇，大家准备好喝咖啡了吗？

Lars (to the Waiter) I SAID MOVE
拉尔斯（对服务员）我说过，动！

Mike Perhaps he’s waiting for you to say please
迈克，也许他在等你说“请”

Lars GET OUT OF MY WAY
拉尔斯，别挡我的路

Lars flings Mike at the Waiter.
拉尔斯把迈克扔向服务员。

Mike Sorry, excuse me
迈克对不起，打扰一下

Paige Waiter 佩奇·韦特
I think it’s time
我认为是时候了

As the Waiter puts Mike neatly aside, he pulls out a knife, the movement almost invisible. He is staring at Lars, the threat of violence palpable. Silence.
当服务员把迈克整齐地放到一边时，他抽出一把刀，动作几乎不可察觉。他盯着拉尔斯，暴力的威胁显而易见。寂静。

Paige Now then 佩奇现在那么
Siân

Siân Yes? Siân 是吗？

Paige Would you like a coffee?
佩奇，你想要一杯咖啡吗？

Siân Don’t think so, no
Siân 不这么认为，不

Paige Coffee, Hal? 佩奇·咖啡，哈尔？

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Paige I said would you like a coffee?
佩奇，我问你想要咖啡吗？

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Paige How about you, Lars? Coffee?
佩奇，你怎么样，拉尔斯？喝咖啡吗？

Lars He’s holding a knife
拉尔斯，他手里拿着一把刀

Paige Yes 佩奇是的

Lars Why’s that, Paige?
拉尔斯，为什么这样，佩奇？

Paige It’s all part of the service
佩奇，这都是服务的一部分

Lars (to the Waiter) You; speak; why?
拉尔斯（对服务员）你；说；为什么？

Paige Wynne, you’ll have a coffee, won’t you?
佩奇·温，您会喝咖啡，对吧？

Wynne No

Paige Mike? 佩奇·迈克？

Mike I don’t think so
迈克，我不这么认为

Paige I also have herbal teas for anyone who’s keen
Paige，我也有草药茶供任何有兴趣的人

Lars Who the hell are you?
拉尔斯，你到底是谁？

Wynne You can deflect this, Lars
温恩你可以抵挡这个，拉尔斯
Whatever it is 无论它是什么
Just refuse wound entry
只需拒绝伤口进入

Lars WHAT DO YOU WANT?
拉尔斯，你想要什么？

Paige Well, seeing as everyone’s passed on coffee, l’ll move straight on to my joke. There was once a woman who heard that you could get anything you desired on the / internet
佩奇好吧，既然大家都不喝咖啡，我就直接讲我的笑话。有一个女人听说你可以在互联网上得到你想要的任何东西。

Lars Shut up 拉尔斯，闭嘴

Paige As she had a lot of time and money at her disposal she thought she’d see if this / was true
佩奇由于她有很多时间和金钱可支配，她想看看这是否是真的

Lars You’d better tell me what’s going on
拉尔斯，你最好告诉我发生了什么

Paige She thought, ‘What is the thing I want most in all the world and / can’t obtain?’
佩奇想：“我在这个世界上最想要的东西是什么，而我却无法得到？”

Lars What the FUCK
拉尔斯，真他妈的！

Paige After some time the answer came / to her
佩奇过了一段时间，答案来了/对她来说

Lars Is going on?
拉尔斯要去吗？

Paige The woman wanted a person’s death
佩奇这个女人想要一个人的死亡
So she set about looking for a man who’d provide it
所以她开始寻找一个能提供这些的人

Lars You 拉尔斯·尤

Paige Days went by as she sat by her screen
佩奇的日子一天天过去，她坐在屏幕旁

Lars Are 拉尔斯·阿雷

Paige And just as she was on the point of giving up, she found what she was looking for:
佩奇就在她快要放弃的时候，她找到了她所寻找的东西：
easefuldeath.com. The man used metaphors to describe what he could provide but to those truly seeking an executioner his meaning was clear
easefuldeath.com。这个人用隐喻来描述他能提供的服务，但对于那些真正寻求刽子手的人来说，他的意思很明确。

Lars Hal 拉尔斯·哈尔

Hal Yes 哈，好的

Paige He could provide death in a multitude of guises and bring it right into your home. Highly exclusive
佩奇·赫可以以多种形式带来死亡，并将其直接带入你的家中。高度独特

Lars Do something 拉尔斯做点什么

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Paige Now, there was only one person the woman knew who truly deserved such a top-drawer death
佩奇现在，女人只认识一个真正值得如此高贵死亡的人

Lars Just fucking 拉尔斯真他妈的

Hal Yes 哈，好的

Hal exits. Hal 退出。

Paige This person yearned for peace, for freedom, for passion. And what greater passion do we ever face than the orgasm of our own mortality?
佩奇这个人渴望和平、自由和激情。我们所面临的更大激情是什么呢？那就是我们自己死亡的高潮。

Lars So this is your man of integrity?
拉尔斯，所以这就是你的诚信之人？

Paige Yes 佩奇是的

Lars I don’t believe you, not for a second
拉尔斯，我一点也不相信你

Paige Then you are true to your philosophy
佩奇，那么你就忠于你的哲学

Lars (to Mike) You; army man; what do we do?
拉尔斯（对迈克）你；军人；我们该怎么办？

Mike I don’t know
迈克，我不知道

Lars Think of something
拉尔斯想点什么

Mike You could beg
迈克你可以乞求

Lars Intervene 拉尔斯·干预

Mike What, throw myself at a knife?
迈克，什么，往刀子上扔自己？

Lars For God’s sake!
拉尔斯，天哪！

Mike Suppose it was an aspirational fantasy of mine
迈克，我想这可能是我一个向往的幻想

To watch a cunt like you shit himself?
看着像你这样的混蛋自食其果？

Lars (to Paige) All right, we’ve had a laugh. Game over
拉尔斯（对佩奇）好吧，我们笑过了。游戏结束。

Paige Lars, we all have our moments of deadly earnest
佩奇·拉斯，我们都有认真对待的时刻
And this is one of mine
这是我的其中之一

Lars How much have you paid him?
拉尔斯，你给他付了多少钱？

Paige I told you, twenty-five thousand pounds
佩奇，我告诉过你，二万五千英镑

Lars Cheap 拉尔斯·奇普

Paige He’s a charitable man
佩奇是个慈善的人

Lars You’ve got no idea
拉尔斯，你完全不知道
No idea what you’re doing
不知道你在做什么

Paige Oh, give me credit
佩奇，给我点信用

Lars (to the Waiter) Put the weapon down
拉尔斯（对服务员）放下武器
Put it down, keep the money and go
放下它，留着钱走

Hal enters. 哈尔进来了。

Hal Can’t get your phone to work
哈尔无法让你的手机正常工作

Paige I disconnected them
佩奇，我把它们断开了

Hal Where’s your mobile?
Hal 你的手机在哪里？

Sian In the pond
西安在池塘里

Hal I need a phone, Lars
哈，我需要一部手机，拉尔斯

Wynne There’s one in my coat
温妮，我的外套里有一个

Hal Where’s your coat?
Hal 你的外套在哪里？

Wynne (pointing to the Waiter) He took it Oh my God, oh my God
温（指着服务员）他拿走了，哦我的天，哦我的天

Hal Fucking fuck 哈他妈的

Hal exits. Hal 退出。

Lars (to the Waiter) I’ll double it Fifty thousand, a hundred What do you want?
拉尔斯（对服务员）我会加倍五万，一百你想要什么？

Paige Oh Lars, don’t disappoint me
佩奇哦，拉尔斯，别让我失望
I was hoping for inspiration - because what does one say at the moment of one’s death?
我希望能得到一些灵感——因为人在临死时应该说些什么呢？
I’ve been trying to imagine it for weeks
我已经试着想象它好几个星期了
One could try and lamely wheedle out of it
人们可能会试图无力地逃避这个
I suppose one could scream and run or stand and sing - Bassey-style
我想一个人可以尖叫着跑或者站着唱歌 - Bassey 风格
Ending all on a piercing shrill
以刺耳的尖叫结束一切
Or one could embrace the silence that’s to come
或者人们可以接受即将到来的沉默
Cleave the dark 劈开黑暗
And say nothing 并且什么都不说

Paige has her arms around the Waiter so that the knife is pointing at her heart. He stabs her. He helps her to the ground.
佩奇把手臂环绕在服务员身上，刀子指向她的心脏。他刺了她。他把她扶到地上。

Waiter Shhhh… shhhh… 服务员嘘……嘘……

As Paige dies, he puts his hand on her forehead with the compassion and authority of a priest.
当佩奇死去时，他用牧师般的同情和权威将手放在她的额头上。
He closes her eyes.
他闭上了她的眼睛。
Lars drops to his knees.
拉尔斯跪下。
Siân is shivering. 西安在发抖。
The Waiter stands. He pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes the knife. He places it neatly on the table.
服务员站着。他从口袋里拿出一块手帕，擦拭刀子。他把它整齐地放在桌子上。
Mike lunges for him. The Waiter raises a hand. Mike stops in his tracks. The Waiter removes the envelope of money from his pocket.
迈克向他扑去。服务生举起一只手。迈克停下了脚步。服务生从口袋里拿出一封装有钱的信封。

Lars Who are you?
拉尔斯你是谁？

The Waiter takes two banknotes from the top of the pile.
服务员从一堆钞票的顶部拿走了两张钞票。

Waiter My service is free
服务员我的服务是免费的
I take only the wage of a waiter
我只拿服务员的工资

The Waiter places the rest of the money on the table. He bows. He leaves. A beat. Mike chases after him.
服务员把剩下的钱放在桌子上。他鞠躬。然后离开。停顿。迈克追了上去。

Siân Cold
Want Hal 想要 Hal

Siân exits. Siân 退出。
Lars is staring at the body. Wynne approaches him.
拉尔斯盯着尸体。温恩走近他。

Wynne Lars

She touches him. Lars spins round.
她触碰了他。拉尔斯转过身。

Lars What are you -
拉尔斯，你在做什么 -

Wynne I was- Wynne 我是-

Lars What do you want?
拉尔斯，你想要什么？

Wynne Trying to 温尝试去

Lars is looking at her as if she is a stranger. Wynne falters. Lars turns back to Paige.
拉尔斯看着她，仿佛她是个陌生人。温妮犹豫了。拉尔斯转向佩奇。

Lars, what can I do?
拉尔斯，我能做些什么？
There must be something I can do
我一定能做些什么
Some action to 某些行动以
Tell me, what can I do?
告诉我，我能做些什么？

Lars Nothing 拉尔斯·诺辛

Hal and Sian enter.
哈尔和西安进来了。

Hal There’s no  哈，那里没有
No signal  无信号
We couldn’t  我们无法
No one’s coming  没有人会来
The fog seems to be
雾似乎在
I mean  我的意思是
In the house  在房子里

Siân Freezing

Mike enters. 迈克进来了。

Mike I couldn’t find him
迈克，我找不到他
He just vanished  他就消失了
It was like  这就像
No sound, nothing  没有声音，什么都没有

The lights flicker. They go out.
灯光闪烁。它们熄灭了。

Couldn’t find my way back in
找不到回去的路
Floundering 挣扎
Thick white dark 厚白暗

Wynne Why has the light gone out? Who’s done this?
温妮，灯怎么熄灭了？是谁干的？
Where’s the light? 光在哪里？

Sian Cold 西安冷

Wynne Give us the light back
温给我们把光还回来
Give us light 给我们光明

Breathing. A palpable sense of fear.
呼吸。明显的恐惧感。

Lars Nothing 拉尔斯·诺辛

End. 结束。

DINNER 晚餐

Scene 1. Aperitif 场景 1. 开胃酒

The Waiter enters. 服务员进来了。

Hal What? 哈尔 什么？

Siân Hi

Hal So

Sian Sorry Sian 对不起

Paige No 佩奇号

Hal Look

Hal OK 哈喽 OK

Scene 2. The Starter场景 2. 启动器

Siân No I'm notSiân 不，我不是

Siân Right

Paige You'll spoil it佩奇，你会把它搞坏的

Hal No 哈尔·诺

Siân No

Siâ lights a cigarette.Siâ 点燃了一支香烟。

Mike Right 迈克·赖特

Scene 3. The Main场景 3. 主场

Mike OK 迈克 好

Mike Congratulations 迈克，恭喜你

Mike Thanks 迈克，谢谢

Wynne Yes 温妮 是的

Mike OK 迈克 好

Wynne I-

Hal Eff off

Hal Pepperoni 哈尔·佩普罗尼

Hal sighs loudly.哈尔大声叹气。

Mike Good choice 迈克 好选择

Wynne Uhh! 温妮 呜！

Siân A lance. (She mimes lancing Hal across the table.)Siân A 刺。 （她在桌子上模仿刺向 Hal。）

Siân Tights?

Siân How?

Sian A gladiator thing西安 一个角斗士的事情

Paige Jolly good 佩奇·乔利好

Mike No 迈克 不

Hal Jesus 哈利·耶稣

Siân What? Siân 什么？

Siân Hal

Siân Nothing

Siân (to Hal) I'm / pregnantSiân（对 Hal）我怀孕了

But Uncle Moneybags liked him但钱袋叔叔喜欢他

Scene 4. Dessert 场景 4. 甜点

Paige Well 佩奇·韦尔

Mike You should eat your Frozen Waste before it melts迈克，你应该在冰冻垃圾融化之前吃掉它

Mike Wynne, good luck迈克·温恩，祝好运

Mike Ooops 迈克 哦不

Paige Mike? 佩奇·迈克？

Hal Yes 哈，好的

Wynne Lars

Hal What? 哈尔什么？

Scene 2. The Starter
场景 2. 启动器

Siân No I'm not
Siân 不，我不是

Paige You'll spoil it
佩奇，你会把它搞坏的

Siâ lights a cigarette.
Siâ 点燃了一支香烟。

Scene 3. The Main
场景 3. 主场

Mike OK 迈克好

Wynne Yes 温妮是的

Mike OK 迈克好

Hal sighs loudly.
哈尔大声叹气。

Mike Good choice 迈克好选择

Wynne Uhh! 温妮呜！

Siân A lance. (She mimes lancing Hal across the table.)
Siân A 刺。（她在桌子上模仿刺向 Hal。）

Sian A gladiator thing
西安一个角斗士的事情

Mike No 迈克不

Siân (to Hal) I'm / pregnant
Siân（对 Hal）我怀孕了

But Uncle Moneybags liked him
但钱袋叔叔喜欢他

Mike You should eat your Frozen Waste before it melts
迈克，你应该在冰冻垃圾融化之前吃掉它

Mike Wynne, good luck
迈克·温恩，祝好运

Mike Ooops 迈克哦不