第1章 十八线糊咖，绑定霸总系统
Chapter 1: An Obscure Eighteen-Tier Celebrity Binds with a Domineering CEO System

高档咖啡馆里，一男一女相对而坐。
In an upscale café, a man and a woman sat facing each other.

男人语气三分凉薄，三分讥笑，四分漫不经心。
The man's tone carried a hint of indifference, a touch of mockery, and a dash of nonchalance.

“林鹿，我不过是犯了一个全天下男人都会犯的错，你至于吗？”
"Lin Lu, I merely made a mistake that any man in the world could make. Is it really such a big deal?"

“哪个男人不花心？”
"Which man isn't fickle?"

“说句实话，没有任何男人，会只钟情于一个女人的。”
"To be honest, there isn't a single man who would be devoted to only one woman."

“……”
"......"

林鹿:？
Lin Lu: ?

“你谁啊？”
"Who are you?"

男人一愣，紧接着是一副‘你别闹了’的表情。
The man was taken aback, then gave a look that said 'stop messing around.'

“你一个糊咖不知道，我们拍戏期间，导演都要求我们爱上对方的。”
"You wouldn't know as a nobody, but during filming, the director requires us to fall in love with each other."

“剧组夫妻，就只有是在剧组，出了剧组，我不就回来找你了吗？”
"On-set couples are only for the set. Once we're off, didn't I come back to you?"

“在一起三年，你都不许我碰你，我也是个正常男人啊。”
"We've been together for three years, and you still won't let me touch you. I'm a normal man too, you know."

“再说我和念念不过逢场作戏，你矫情个什么？”
"Besides, my thing with Niannian was just a fling. Why are you being so dramatic?"

不行，林鹿又忍不住了。
No, Lin Lu couldn't hold back anymore.

太中二了！
This is so cringey!

她捏了捏拳头，正想揍人，突然被魔法打断了。
She clenched her fists, ready to throw a punch, when suddenly, magic interrupted her.

一股不属于自己的记忆出现在脑海中。
A surge of memories that weren't her own flooded her mind.

哇靠，穿越了！
Holy crap, she'd time-traveled!

所以她车祸没死？又活了！
So she hadn't died in the car crash? She was alive again!

林鹿：嘻嘻。
Lin Lu: Hehe.

原身也叫林鹿，是一名娱乐圈十八线糊咖。
The original body was also named Lin Lu, a barely-known D-list celebrity in the entertainment industry.

三年前，正处于事业上升期的她恋爱了，而男友不喜欢她在外面抛头露面，于是为了爱情，她放弃了事业，把所有的资源人脉都给了男友。
Three years ago, during the peak of her rising career, she fell in love. However, her boyfriend disliked her being in the public eye, so for the sake of love, she gave up her career and handed all her resources and connections to him.

如今，男友顾景珩成为了娱乐圈当红顶流，却和当红小花因戏生情。
Now, her ex-boyfriend Gu Jingheng has become a top-tier celebrity in the entertainment industry, but he developed feelings for a popular young actress while working on a drama together.

哦，就是刚才他嘴里那个，剧组妻子宋念念。
Oh, it's that "on-set wife" Song Niannian he just mentioned.

这是什么脑残剧情？
What kind of idiotic plot is this?

林鹿瞬间不嘻嘻了。
Lin Lu instantly stopped giggling.

玛德，这还不如死了一了百了呢！
Damn it, death would be better than this mess!

“想通了就好。”顾景珩见他半天不说话，还以为她默认了，妥协了。
"It's good that you've figured it out." Gu Jingheng, seeing her remain silent for so long, thought she had tacitly agreed and compromised.

于是他语气软了软。
So his tone softened a bit.

“不管我外面有多少个女人，我最爱的人都只有你一个。”
"No matter how many women I have outside, you're the only one I truly love."

“把心放肚子里。”
"Just rest assured."

林鹿很无语，无语得很想笑，嘴角止不住的抖。
Lin Lu was utterly speechless, so much so that she almost burst out laughing, her lips trembling uncontrollably.

于是，顾景珩终于发现不对劲了，“你，你干什么？”
Finally, Gu Jingheng noticed something was off. "What... what are you doing?" he asked.

林鹿：“抱一丝，有点忍不住。”
Lin Lu: "Sorry, I just couldn't hold it in."

“忍不住什么？”
"Hold what in?"

林鹿翻了个白眼，用那种贱嗖嗖的语气，一边笑一边说:“还‘把心放肚子里’，心下垂么这是？哈哈哈哈……”
Lin Lu rolled her eyes and said in a teasing tone, laughing as she spoke, "‘Put your heart in your stomach’? Is your heart sagging or something? Hahaha..."

“太搞笑了哈哈哈……”
"That's so hilarious, hahaha..."

“你……！”顾景珩气得目瞪口呆。
"You...!" Gu Jingheng was left speechless with anger.

他怎么都没想到，林鹿会用这种语气嘲讽他。
He never expected Lin Lu to mock him in such a tone.

她疯了？
Is she crazy?

霸总专业户瞬间激活属性，一把掐住林鹿脖子，将她推到了墙上。
The tycoon archetype instantly activated its traits, gripping Lin Lu's neck and slamming her against the wall.

“女人，你在玩火？”
"Woman, are you playing with fire?"

林鹿顿时就喘不过气了。
Lin Lu immediately found it hard to breathe.

但，不慌。
But, no rush.

桌子下面，她抬起穿着高跟鞋的脚，对着男人的脚用力一跺。
Under the table, she lifted her high-heeled foot and stomped hard on the man's foot.

“啊！！！”狗男人惨叫一声，直接弹开了。
"Ahhh!!!" The bastard screamed in pain and instantly recoiled.

林鹿顺势起身，抬手就补了他一巴掌。
Seizing the moment, Lin Lu stood up and swiftly slapped him across the face.

“啪！”
"Slap!"

顾景珩捂着脸，满脸的不可置信。
Gu Jingheng covered his face, his expression full of disbelief.

“林鹿，你还敢打我？”
"Lin Lu, you dare hit me?"

“我有什么不敢的？”林鹿抬手又是一巴掌。
"What's there I wouldn't dare?" Lin Lu raised her hand and delivered another slap.

顾景珩气得暴跳如雷：“你……你再打一下你试试？”
Gu Jingheng was so furious he was hopping mad: "You... if you dare hit me again, just try it!"

试试就逝世。
Try it and you'll die trying.

“啪啪啪！”林鹿买一送二，又给了他三巴掌。
"Slap! Slap! Slap!" Lin Lu bought one and got two free, giving him three more slaps.

好家伙，顾景珩的脸直接肿成了馒头。
Good grief, Gu Jingheng's face swelled up like a steamed bun.

他气得暴跳如雷：“你……你死定了！！”
He was so angry that he jumped up and down in rage: "You... you're dead!!"

又是这种高高在上的语气。
Again with this condescending tone.

其实，不过是占着原身的喜欢罢了。
In truth, it was only because he relied on the original owner's affection.

可惜，此林鹿非彼林鹿了，她是不会惯着这狗男人的。
Unfortunately, this Lin Lu was not the same Lin Lu anymore—she wasn't about to indulge this bastard.

“我死不死无所谓。”
"Whether I live or die doesn't matter."

顾景珩听得一愣。
Gu Jingheng was stunned.

林鹿：“我只要你死。”
Lin Lu: "I just want you to die."

“你……！”顾景珩气得浑身颤抖。
"You...!" Gu Jingheng trembled with rage.

林鹿直接一脚把他送出去两米远。
Lin Lu kicked him directly, sending him flying two meters away.

然后，顾景珩呈大字型趴在地上，冲着林鹿怒不可遏的大吼。
Then, Gu Jingheng lay sprawled on the ground in a starfish position, roaring at Lin Lu in uncontrollable fury.

“林鹿你什么态度？你要干什么？”
"Lin Lu, what kind of attitude is that? What are you trying to do?"

“你胆大了是不是？”
"Have you grown too bold?"

“你这个疯女人，你信不信，我跟你分手？”
"You crazy woman, do you believe I'll break up with you?"

林鹿直接笑出了声，“那可太好了，分，必须分，谁不分谁是狗。”
Lin Lu burst out laughing, "That would be fantastic. Break up, absolutely must break up. Whoever doesn't break up is a dog."

地上的顾景珩一脸不可置信，他伸出一根食指，颤抖的指了指林鹿。
On the ground, Gu Jingheng wore an expression of utter disbelief. He pointed a trembling finger at Lin Lu.

然后，他吃力的从地上起来，一只手扶着腰。
Then, with great effort, he got up from the ground, one hand supporting his waist.

“好你个林鹿，你玩真的是不是？”
"Fine, Lin Lu, you're really playing for keeps, aren't you?"

“你信不信我现在就走，走了就不回来了。”
"Do you believe me if I say I'll leave right now and never come back?"

林鹿瞥了他一眼，“别！”
Lin Lu glanced at him. "Don't!"

顾景珩：呵~果然是在欲擒故纵。
Gu Jingheng: Hmph~ So it was indeed a case of playing hard to get.

然而——
However—

林鹿：“你快跑起来啊，哈哈！”
Lin Lu: "Hurry up and run, haha!"

顾景珩:“！！！”
Gu Jingheng: "!!!"

“好好好！”顾景珩气得一连说了三个好。
"Good, good, good!" Gu Jingheng angrily uttered three "goods" in a row.

“林鹿，你别后悔。”
"Lin Lu, don't you dare regret this."

临走之前，他警告道。
Before leaving, he warned.

“那档恋综，我会带念念一起上，你最好别跟来恶心我们。”
"As for that dating show, I'll be bringing Niannian along. You'd better not tag along and disgust us."

林鹿淡淡一笑：
Lin Lu smiled faintly:

“我从来不恶心人，因为我恶心的不是人。”
"I never disgust people, because what disgusts me isn't human."

顾景珩这次是真被气跑了。
Gu Jingheng was genuinely angered into leaving this time.

林鹿爽了。
Lin Lu felt satisfied.

她拿出手机，打给经纪人叶婷。
She took out her phone and called her agent, Ye Ting.

“婷姐，帮我安排下，我要上个恋综。”
"Ting Jie, help me arrange something—I want to go on a dating show."

“上恋综？你又要去当舔狗？”
"A dating show? Are you going to be a simp again?"

“不，我去打狗。”
"No, I'm going to hunt dogs."

没办法，她天生反骨，就爱恶心人，啊不是，恶心狗。
There's no helping it—she's born rebellious and just loves to annoy people, or rather, annoy dogs.

计划的好好的，怎料却赶不上变化。
Everything was planned perfectly, but who could have predicted the unexpected?

叶婷就是那个变化。
Ye Ting was that unexpected twist.

“你别以为我不知道你上那档恋综是为了谁，我告诉你，想都别想。”
"Don't think I don't know who you went on that dating show for. Let me tell you, don't even dream about it."

一想到这些，叶婷就整个暴躁，直接啪一声挂了电话。
At the thought of this, Ye Ting became completely furious and abruptly hung up the phone with a loud "click."

林鹿:“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

经纪人不帮忙，那咋办呢？
If the agent won't help, what should she do?

正想着，脑子里突然[叮！]的一声，响起一道机械音。
Just as she was pondering, a sudden [Ding!] sounded in her mind, followed by a mechanical voice.

[所谓霸道总裁，霸道在前，总裁在后，霸道就是成为霸总的第一步，恭喜宿主已完成第一步，成功激活霸总系统。]
[The so-called domineering CEO: domineering comes first, CEO comes second. Being domineering is the first step to becoming a domineering CEO. Congratulations, host, you have completed the first step and successfully activated the Domineering CEO System.]

林鹿：？？？
Lin Lu: ???

系统她知道，霸总她也知道。
She knew about systems, and she knew about domineering CEOs.

可她是个女演员啊，绑定霸总系统什么鬼？
But she was an actress—what the hell was this Domineering CEO System doing bound to her?

系统没有理会，自顾自的往下宣布规则。
The system ignored the comment and continued announcing the rules on its own.

[系统成功激活，奖励新手大礼包。]
[System successfully activated. Newcomer's gift package awarded.]

[新手大礼包发放完成！宿主获得：‘霸总经典语录大全’习得！]
[Newcomer's gift package distributed! Host has acquired: 'Complete Collection of Classic Overbearing CEO Quotes' mastery!]

[宿主按要求完成任务，即可获得更多奖励。]
[Host will receive more rewards upon completing tasks as required.]

林鹿：？
Lin Lu: ?

“这位系统，你有没有搞错，我一个痛经二十年的女人，你跟我讲霸道总裁？”
"System, are you kidding me? A woman who's suffered from dysmenorrhea for twenty years, and you're giving me some domineering CEO trope?"

“霸道的痛经？”
"A domineering dysmenorrhea?"

说完眉头一紧：“任务？我一个月流血七天，拿什么去完成你霸道的任务？命吗？”
Her brows furrowed tightly as she continued: "Mission? I bleed for seven days every month—what am I supposed to use to complete your domineering mission? My life?"

霸总系统：[宿主才二十岁，不可能痛经二十年。]
The domineering CEO system: [The host is only twenty years old; it's impossible to have had period pain for twenty years.]

林鹿：“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

“这是重点？”
"Is that the main point?"

霸总系统：[……]
The domineering CEO system: [...]

与此同时。
At the same time.

隔壁包厢里。
In the adjacent private room.

“噗——”
"Pfft—"

正在和经纪人聊天的影帝楚江宴一口咖啡喷对方脸上。
Chu Jiangyan, the award-winning actor who was chatting with his agent, sprayed coffee all over the other's face.

“绿茶系统？”
"Green Tea System?"

“系统绑定成功？终于轮到我当主角了？但这个绿茶系统是个什么鬼？”
"System binding successful? Finally my turn to be the protagonist? But what the hell is this Green Tea System?"

第2章 霸道乞丐冲上热搜
Chapter 2: The Domineering Beggar Trends on Hot Searches

当天下午，一个全新的词条冲上了热搜。
That same afternoon, a brand new hashtag surged to the top of trending searches.

#林鹿，霸道乞丐#
#Lin Lu, the Domineering Beggar#

事情的起因是这样的。
This is how it all started.

十分钟前，林鹿发布了一条微博。
Ten minutes ago, Lin Lu posted a Weibo update.

@林鹿v：天热了，林氏该崛起了。

林氏，就你？
The Lin family? You?

你特么都快糊穿地心了，你还崛起？
You're already washed up beyond saving, and you still think you can make a comeback?

这是要笑死个谁？
Who are you trying to kill with laughter?

炸裂！这放在整个娱乐圈，都是相当炸裂的！
Explosive! This is absolutely mind-blowing even by entertainment industry standards!

顾景珩的粉丝，顾景珩和宋念念的cp粉，林鹿的黑粉，吃瓜网友……纷纷涌入。
Gu Jingheng's fans, the CP fans of Gu Jingheng and Song Niannian, Lin Lu's anti-fans, and netizens just here for the drama... all came flooding in.

评论区，无数消息蜂拥而至。
The comment section was flooded with countless messages.

全是嘲讽林鹿的声音。
All of them were mocking Lin Lu.

对此，林鹿怕了吗？没有。
Did Lin Lu fear this? No.

她亲自下场，耐心的一一回复了那些点赞量比较高的评论。
She personally stepped in and patiently replied to those comments with higher numbers of likes.

没有一句脏话，主打一个好言相劝。
Not a single curse word, just pure good advice.

@林鹿V:你们要是实在没事干，你们就去超市排队抢鸡蛋。

去看奥特曼打小怪兽。
Go watch Ultraman fight little monsters.

看李白复活追老汉。
Watch Li Bai come back to life and chase after old men.

你爸爸守坟山，你妈妈当保安，你半夜在那个路边偷电线杆，老子一耳光给你打到山海关。
Your dad guards the graveyard, your mom works as a security guard, you steal lampposts by the roadside at midnight, and I'll slap you all the way to Shanhaiguan.

……

你别说，这方法还挺管用。
To be honest, this method is quite effective.

几个回合下来，黑子门的战斗力，就明显弱了下来。
After several rounds, the combat effectiveness of the Black Faction noticeably weakened.

渐渐的，都不说话了。
Gradually, they all fell silent.

可是，林鹿却来了兴致。
But Lin Lu suddenly got excited.

她不允许任何人提前退出课堂，甚至开始一一@每一个学员。
She wouldn't allow anyone to leave the class early, even starting to @ every single student one by one.

【宝宝，你怎么不说话了？是去偷电线杆了吗？你说话呀，你不说话就是不开心，你不开心我心都要碎了。】
["Sweetie, why aren't you talking anymore? Did you go steal a telephone pole? Say something, if you don't talk it means you're unhappy, and if you're unhappy my heart will break."]

【不听话可是要接受惩罚的哦，罚你再和我聊五毛钱的。】
["Disobedience comes with punishment, you know—the penalty is chatting with me for another fifty cents' worth."]

【宝宝你说话呀。】
[Baby, say something.]

持续呼唤了半小时，黑子们就是不出来。
After calling out for half an hour, the haters still wouldn't show up.

于是，林鹿拿出了绝招。
So, Lin Lu pulled out her trump card.

她开始给黑子们发红包。
She started sending red packets to the haters.

林鹿：【宝宝你不回消息，是手机欠费了吗？手机欠费怎么不跟我说？你委屈到我心上人了你知道不？拿去缴费。ps：红包金额：0.01元。】
Lin Lu: [Baby, you're not replying—is your phone out of credit? Why didn't you tell me if it's out of credit? You're making my sweetheart sad, you know? Here, go pay the bill. P.S.: Red packet amount: 0.01 yuan.]

林鹿：【宝宝怎么不说话了？口干了？拿去买奶茶！命令你喝完之后，马上回来和我聊天。ps：红包金额：0.01元。】
Lin Lu: [Baby, why aren't you talking? Thirsty? Here, go buy milk tea! I order you to come back and chat with me right after drinking it. P.S.: Red packet amount: 0.01 yuan.]

林鹿：【宝宝你再不说话，就要受惩罚了，罚你想我想我还是想我，ps：红包金额：0.01元。】
Lin Lu: [Baby, if you don't speak up, you'll be punished—the penalty is thinking of me, me, or me. P.S.: Red packet amount: 0.01 yuan.]

……
......

持续发了半个多小时的红包，一个黑子都没劝回来。
I kept sending red envelopes for over half an hour, but not a single hater was won back.

倒是把经纪人的电话给劝来了。
Instead, I managed to summon a call from my agent.

并且张口就是河东狮吼：“林鹿，你要干嘛？你疯了是不是？”
And the moment she opened her mouth, it was a full-blown roar: "Lin Lu, what are you doing? Have you lost your mind?"

林鹿：？
Lin Lu: ?

“我没疯啊？挺好的。”
"I'm not crazy? I'm perfectly fine."

叶婷：“……”
Ye Ting: "..."

“你在微博上发什么疯？你脑子有病是不是？”
"What kind of nonsense are you posting on Weibo? Are you out of your mind?"

“你是不是嫌自己上的黑热搜还不够多。”
"Do you think you haven't been on enough negative trending topics already?"

林鹿眼睛都亮了。
Lin Lu's eyes lit up.

“我又上热搜啦？”
"Am I trending again?"

“我真厉害。”
"I'm so awesome."

叶婷差点没被活活气死。
Ye Ting was nearly driven mad with rage.

“你给我闭嘴。”
"Shut the hell up."

“你知不知道网友都叫你什么？”
"Do you know what netizens call you?"

“叫你霸道乞丐！”
"They call you the domineering beggar!"

“……”
"..."

“真的吗？”林鹿震惊，“真的有那么霸道吗？”
"Is it true?" Lin Lu was shocked, "Is it really that domineering?"

叶婷：“……”
Ye Ting: "..."

叶婷更气了，“林鹿你是不是想把我气死？”
Ye Ting grew even angrier, "Lin Lu, are you trying to piss me off?"

“现在是讨论霸道不霸道的时候？”
"Is now the time to discuss whether it's domineering or not?"

林鹿“哦！”了一声，问道，“那婷姐，我能上那个恋综了吗？”
Lin Lu let out an "Oh!" and asked, "So, Sister Ting, can I join that dating show now?"

叶婷：“！！！”
Ye Ting: "!!!"

“不能！”叶婷很暴躁。
"No way!" Ye Ting snapped angrily.

“你想都别想。”
"Don't even think about it."

“行吧。”林鹿语气淡淡道。
"Fine." Lin Lu's tone was indifferent.

“那先挂了，对于霸道乞丐，我另有安排。”
"I'll hang up first. As for the domineering beggar, I have other plans."

叶婷气得‘啪’一声，把电话挂了。
Ye Ting angrily hung up the phone with a 'click'.

两分钟后，她又打了电话回来。
Two minutes later, she called back again.

原因是，林鹿没去评论区给黑粉发红包了。
The reason was, Lin Lu stopped going to the comment section to hand out red packets to the haters.

她直接开起了直播。
She went straight to starting a live stream.

第3章 你才乞丐，你全家都乞丐
Chapter 3: You're the Beggar, Your Whole Family Are Beggars

林鹿直接开起了直播，在线乞讨。
Lin Lu directly started a live stream, begging online.

“给你们发消息你们不回，罚你们进来给我刷礼物。”
"You guys didn't reply to my messages, so I'm punishing you by making you come in and send me gifts."

“刚才那个弹幕叫我霸道乞丐的死丫头，罚你给我点个赞。”
"That commenter who just called me a 'domineering beggar'—you little brat, I'm punishing you by making you give me a like."

“还有你，刚进来的这位朋友，罚你送我一颗红火的心。”
"And you, the one who just joined—I'm punishing you by making you send me a red heart."

“超级火箭也可，罚！”
"A Super Rocket would work too—punishment!"

“……”
"……"

好家伙，刚进入直播间的网友差点没被吓尿。
Holy cow, netizens who just entered the live stream were almost scared out of their wits.

见过乞丐，还没见过这么霸道的乞丐。
We've seen beggars before, but never one this domineering.

这是要吓死个谁？
Who are you trying to scare to death?

赶紧跑，再不跑就跑不掉了。
Run quickly, or you won't be able to escape.

分分钟的时间，直播间上万个网友，全跑光了。
In just minutes, tens of thousands of netizens in the live stream room had all fled.

但没事，总有漏网之鱼。
But it's okay, there are always some who slip through the net.

那些好奇心重的网友，看见直播间标题那偌大的‘霸道乞丐’四个字，总会好奇进来看看。
Netizens with strong curiosity, upon seeing the bold title "Overbearing Beggar" in the live stream, would always curiously click in to take a look.

他们只要一进来，林鹿就立即行动。
As soon as they entered, Lin Lu would immediately spring into action.

总有那么一两个不好意思拒绝的。
There were always one or two who found it hard to refuse.

这不，半小时不到的时间，收入已经好几块了。
In less than half an hour, the earnings had already reached several yuan.

就在林鹿美滋滋盯着打赏榜的时候，叶婷的电话再次打了进来。
While Lin Lu was happily staring at the tipping leaderboard, Ye Ting's call came in again.

林鹿做好了准备，将电话拿的老远。
Lin Lu braced herself, holding the phone far away from her ear.

“婷姐。”
"Sister Ting."

“你别叫我姐，你才是我姐，不，你是我祖宗！”
"Don't call me sister—you're the sister here! No, you're my ancestor!"

叶婷像是被突然抽干了力气，说话特别无力，“祖宗，停停好吗？”
Ye Ting seemed to have all her strength suddenly drained, speaking with extreme weakness, "Ancestor, can you please stop?"

“你非要上那个恋综，我去帮你争取还不行吗？”
"If you're so determined to join that dating show, I'll go fight for it for you, okay?"

林鹿说：“别了吧，这多为难您呀。”
Lin Lu said, "Don't bother, that would be too much trouble for you."

叶婷：“……”
Ye Ting: "..."

林鹿：“一个恋综而已，我也不是很感兴趣。”
Lin Lu: "It's just a dating show, and I'm not really that interested."

叶婷：！！！
Ye Ting: !!!

她咬着后槽牙，“没兴趣？白天是谁非要上的？”
She gritted her teeth, "Not interested? Who was the one insisting on joining earlier today?"

林鹿：“那是白天，现在我已经忙起来了。”
Lin Lu: "That was earlier. Now I'm already busy with other things."

“……”
"……"

最终，叶婷耐着性子，好声好气的哄了十分钟。
In the end, Ye Ting patiently coaxed her for ten minutes with gentle words.

终于把林鹿哄好了。
Finally, Lin Lu was appeased.

直播关了，也不去网上发疯了。
The live stream was turned off, and she stopped venting online.

叶婷总算松了口气。
Ye Ting finally breathed a sigh of relief.

但，一想到那综艺名额，太阳穴又开始突突的跳了起来。
But the thought of that variety show spot made her temples throb again.

这该死的林鹿。
Damn that Lin Lu.

叶婷深吸一口气，翻出了恋综导演甄勇的号码，正准备拨出去。
Taking a deep breath, Ye Ting pulled up the contact for dating show director Zhen Yong and was about to make the call.

突然，一个电话打了进来。
Suddenly, a phone call came in.

甄勇？
Zhen Yong?

叶婷还以为自己看错了，取了眼镜，又重新戴上。
Ye Ting thought she must be seeing things, so she took off her glasses and put them back on.

没看错啊，就是甄勇。
No mistake, it was indeed Zhen Yong.

她急忙接起电话。
She hurriedly answered the phone.

“喂，甄导啊！”
"Hello, Director Zhen!"

甄勇：“叶经纪人，我想邀请你家那个乞丐上我那档综艺。”
Zhen Yong: "Agent Ye, I'd like to invite that beggar of yours to join my variety show."

叶婷顿时不高兴了，“什么乞丐，你家才有乞丐。”
Ye Ting immediately became displeased, "What beggar? Your family has beggars."

你全家都是乞丐。
Your whole family are beggars.

甄勇急忙，“不是不是，是你家的那个霸道……”
Zhen Yong hurriedly said, "No, no, it's that domineering one in your family..."

“我家哪个霸道了？”
"Which domineering one in my family?"

“就是就是那个……哎哟，叫啥子来着，今天一天到晚挂热搜那个？”
"It's... it's that... oh dear, what's it called? The one that's been trending all day today?"

叶婷：“……林鹿。”
Ye Ting: "...Lin Lu."

甄勇：“对对对，就是那个林鹿。”
Zhen Yong: "Yes yes yes, that's the Lin Lu we're talking about."

做综艺嘛，要是就是话题度。
When it comes to variety shows, what really matters is generating buzz.

能遇到林鹿这种不寻常的，也算是大机遇了。
Coming across someone as unconventional as Lin Lu is truly a golden opportunity.

虽然也存在一定风险，但甄勇不想错过。
There is some risk involved, but Zhen Yong doesn't want to miss out.

于是就急忙来争取了。
So he hurried over to seize the opportunity.

“片酬你不用担心，我直接给到三十万一期。”
"Don't worry about the payment, I'll offer 300,000 per episode directly."

“怎么样？”
"How about it?"

叶婷说：“不怎么样？”
Ye Ting said, "Not good?"

“五十万？”
"Five hundred thousand?"

“估计不行，我家林鹿最近挺忙的。”
"Probably not, my Lin Lu has been quite busy lately."

“八十万？”
"Eight hundred thousand?"

“抽不出空。”
"I can't spare the time."

甄勇叹了口气，“那你说，多少？”
Zhen Yong sighed, "Then tell me, how much?"

叶婷：“额……那个，比顾景珩高点就行吧。”
Ye Ting: "Um... well, just a bit more than Gu Jingheng would be fine."

“什么？”甄勇声音猛的拔高。
"What?" Zhen Yong's voice suddenly rose sharply.

“比谁高？”
"Who's taller?"

疯了吧？
Are you crazy?

顾景珩那可是顶流，三百万一期呢。
Gu Jingheng is a top-tier celebrity, worth three million per episode.

林鹿一个糊咖，就近期有点热度而已，她怎么敢的？
Lin Lu is just a minor star who's recently gained some popularity—how dare she?

叶婷还是那句话，“你不愿意也没事，我家艺人最近还挺忙的。”
Ye Ting repeated the same line, "It's fine if you're unwilling. Our artist has been quite busy lately."

“我对她另有安排。”
"I have other plans for her."

甄勇：“……”
Zhen Yong: "..."

最后，叶婷帮林鹿拿到了每期三百万零一元的片酬。
In the end, Ye Ting secured Lin Lu a salary of three million and one yuan per episode.

比顾景珩高，高出了一块钱。
Taller than Gu Jingheng, by a whole dollar.

她很满意。
She was quite pleased.

林鹿更满意，霸道的给她发了好几个红包。
Lin Lu was even more satisfied and domineeringly sent her several red envelopes.

第4章 不是她，她没有，她冤枉啊！
Chapter 4: It wasn't her, she didn't do it, she's wrongly accused!

一周后。
One week later.

时间来到了恋综开播的这天。
The time had come for the dating show to premiere.

《那就恋爱吧》取消了传统恋综的录播形式，以及‘观察室’模式，直接以直播与录播双线并行的形式进行。
"Let's Fall in Love" abandoned the traditional pre-recorded format of dating shows and eliminated the "observation room" model, opting instead for a dual approach combining live broadcasts and recorded episodes.

观众们可以实时发送弹幕，进行互动。
Viewers could send real-time comments and interact with the show.

再加上强大的嘉宾阵容，以及神秘嘉宾留足的悬念。
With the addition of a stellar lineup of guests and the suspense left by mysterious special guests.

节目刚开播，一大波网友就第一时间冲进了直播间
As soon as the show started broadcasting, a wave of netizens rushed into the live stream.

弹幕几乎在一瞬间炸开。
The barrage of comments exploded almost instantly.

【来了来了……真实的恋爱综艺冲冲冲！】
["Here we go... a real dating show, let's go!"]

【为念景夫妇来的，我先嗑为敬啦！】
【Here for the Nianjing couple, I'll start shipping them right away!】

【只有我是来看那个霸道乞丐到底要作什么妖的吗？】
【Am I the only one here to see what kind of mischief that domineering beggar is up to?】

【哈哈哈霸道乞丐笑不活了，太形象了！】
【Hahaha the "domineering beggar" is killing me, so accurate!】

【比起作妖，我更期待她没有男嘉宾选，独自尴尬?(￣??)】
【Rather than mischief, I'm more looking forward to her not being chosen by any male guest and left awkwardly alone?(￣??)】

【所以……神秘男嘉宾到底是谁啊？抓心挠肺猜三天了都。】
[So... who exactly is this mysterious male guest? I've been scratching my head guessing for three days.]

……
......

嘉宾集合的地方，是一片湖，湖水清澈见底，四周群山环绕，给人一种岁月静好的感觉。
The gathering place for the guests was a lake, with crystal-clear water and surrounded by mountains, giving off a serene and peaceful vibe.

伴随着满屏的‘好美’，第一个嘉宾抵达了。
Amidst a flood of comments like 'so beautiful,' the first guest arrived.

彭怦，男歌手，演员。
Peng Peng, male singer and actor.

他一身白色运动装，戴着一副墨镜，一出场就引得直播间粉丝一阵尖叫。
Dressed in a white tracksuit and wearing sunglasses, his appearance instantly sent fans in the live stream into a frenzy of screams.

【啊啊，哥哥杀我！】
[Ahhh, brother, you're killing me!]

【我爱哥哥的心，怦怦怦！】
[My heart for you, brother, is pounding, pounding, pounding!]

第二个到场的嘉宾叫沈今梨，女团出道的甜妹一枚。
The second guest to arrive was named Shen Jinli, a sweet girl who debuted in a girl group.

彭怦一看见她就热情走了过去，“美女嘉宾来啦！”
Peng Peng enthusiastically walked over as soon as he saw her, "The beautiful guest is here!"

第一次上综艺没经验，况且对方也太热情了。
It was her first time on a variety show, and she had no experience. Plus, the other party was too enthusiastic.

沈今梨有点紧张：“……你好。”
Shen Jinli was a bit nervous: "...Hello."

彭怦依旧热情：“我叫彭怦，姓彭的彭，让你心怦怦跳的怦。”
Peng Peng remained enthusiastic: "My name is Peng Peng, the 'Peng' from the surname Peng, and the 'Peng' that makes your heart go pitter-patter."

沈今梨：“……”
Shen Jinli: "..."

就在这时，两辆保姆车一前一后停下。
At that moment, two minivans pulled up one after the other.

一男一女分别从车上下来，男人身着红色西装，女孩一袭粉色长裙。
A man and a woman stepped out of the vehicles—the man in a red suit, the girl in a flowing pink gown.

两人一对视，整个直播间都是粉色泡泡。
The moment their eyes met, the entire live stream was filled with pink bubbles.

CP粉顿时尖叫连连。
The shippers immediately screamed with excitement.

【啊啊，是念景夫妇！】
[Ahhh, it's the Nian-Jing couple!]

【天呐！这也太般配了！】
[Oh my god! They're such a perfect match!]

【情侣装鲨疯了，求求原地结婚吧！】
【Couple outfits are killing it, just get married already!】

……

就在现场满是暧昧气息的时候，一辆保姆车缓缓停下。
Just as the atmosphere was thick with romance, a van slowly came to a stop.

一道身影从车上下来。
A figure stepped out of the vehicle.

女孩身着白色直筒裤，宽松的淡蓝色衬衫，领口微微敞开，袖口松散随意的卷起，搭配着一头大波浪卷发，步伐轻盈。
The girl wore white straight-leg pants and a loose light blue shirt with the collar slightly open and the cuffs casually rolled up, paired with voluminous wavy hair, walking with light steps.

弹幕顿时一静。
The barrage suddenly fell silent.

紧接着以两种完全不同的方向爆发开来。
Then it exploded in two completely different directions.

【卧槽，这是林鹿？】
[Holy shit, is that Lin Lu?]

【对不起，我浅嗑一秒钟，姐姐你帅到我了！】
【Sorry, I'll fangirl for just a second—sis, you're so damn cool!】

【我真的瞬间上头，果然女孩子一旦帅起来，就没男人什么事了。】
【I was instantly hooked—when girls get this cool, men just don't stand a chance.】

【有什么用呢？哪个男嘉宾会选她似得？】
【What's the point? Which male contestant would actually pick someone like her?】

【舔狗是没有好下场的。】
【Simps never come to a good end.】

……
......

#林鹿帅到我了！#火速冲上了热搜。
#Lin Lu is so handsome!# quickly became a trending topic.

好新奇的词条，一下就吊起了瓜友们的好奇心。
Such a novel phrase instantly piqued the curiosity of netizens.

林鹿？帅？
Lin Lu? Handsome?

你们在玩抽象吗？
Are you guys playing abstract?

然而，赶到直播间一看。
However, upon rushing to the live stream.

【卧槽，这是真帅，这喷不了。】
["Damn, he's really handsome, can't hate on this."]

顾景珩和宋念念的粉丝酸了。
Gu Jingheng and Song Niannian's fans were jealous.

【不是吧不是吧？林鹿都有粉丝了？互联网没有记忆了？】
【No way, no way? Lin Lu actually has fans now? Has the internet lost its memory?】

【心机婊，肯定整了呗！】
【Such a schemer, must've had plastic surgery!】

【光有张脸有什么用？还不是没人爱。】
【What's the use of just having a pretty face? Still no one loves her.】

【就是！】
【Exactly!】

……

林鹿并不知道弹幕在骂她，也不关心。
Lin Lu was unaware of the barrage of insults directed at her in the live chat, nor did she care.

因为，在安静的度过了一周之后，那该死的系统，又冒了出来。
Because, after a quiet week had passed, that damned system suddenly reappeared.

[——叮！触发新任务：英雄救美宋念念。]
[—Ding! New mission triggered: Rescue the damsel in distress, Song Niannian.]

林鹿：？
Lin Lu: ?

“救谁？你再说一遍救谁？”
"Save who? Say that again, save who?"

——我不打你。
—I won't hit you.

霸总系统：[英雄救美宋念念。]
Domineering CEO System: [Be the hero and save Song Niannian.]

“……”
"……"

就在这时。
At this very moment.

导演甄勇的声音猛的拔高，语气里是抑制不住的激动。
Director Zhen Yong's voice suddenly rose sharply, his tone brimming with uncontrollable excitement.

“来了来了……”
"It's coming, it's coming..."

摄影师很懂整，立即把镜头切换了过去。
The photographer was quick on the uptake and immediately switched the camera focus over.

不远处，一辆保姆车缓缓驶近。
Not far away, a luxury van slowly approached.

车门打开的一瞬间，弹幕直接炸了。
The moment the car door opened, the barrage of comments exploded.

【啊啊啊，竟然是楚影帝！】
[Ahhh, it's actually Chu Yingdi!]

【我滴个老天奶哟，有生之年竟然能看到我男神上恋综！】
【Oh my god, I can't believe I'd live to see my idol on a dating show in my lifetime!】

【妈耶，男神杀我！！！】
【OMG, my idol is killing me!!!】

……

男人从车上下来，拖着行李箱，缓缓向前走来，所有人都在注视着他。
The man stepped out of the car, dragging his suitcase, and slowly walked forward as everyone watched him.

林鹿也看了过去。
Lin Lu also looked over.

男人的五官很有特色，脸型立体，眼神中透着一种清澈和灵动，给人一种清新脱俗的感觉。
The man's features were quite distinctive, with a well-defined face and a clear, lively gaze that gave off a refreshing and otherworldly vibe.

帅是真帅！
Handsome, truly handsome!

男人越走越近，嘴角挂着一丝笑容，眼神和林鹿对上了几秒，彼此差不多都确定了。
The man walked closer, a faint smile playing on his lips. His eyes met Lin Lu's for a few seconds, and both seemed to have reached the same conclusion.

都是搞事人。
They're all troublemakers.

这一幕落在了宋念念的眼里，她嫉妒得快要疯了。
This scene fell into Song Niannian's eyes, and she was so jealous she was about to go crazy.

同在娱乐圈，她早就想和楚江宴认识一下了，但一直没有机会。
Being in the same entertainment industry, she had long wanted to get to know Chu Jiangyan, but never had the chance.

更没想过楚江宴会和自己上同一档恋综。
She never even imagined that Chu Jiangyan would appear on the same dating show as her.

她本以为，将顾景珩从林鹿那里抢来，自己就得到了最好的。
She had thought that by snatching Gu Jingheng from Lin Lu, she had obtained the best.

没想到这么快就遇到了更好的男人。
Little did she expect to encounter an even better man so soon.

不行，她一定要抓住，必须抓住。
No, she must seize this opportunity—she absolutely must.

说干就干。
Action was needed immediately.

宋念念撩了下头发，扭着腰肢，迈步朝着楚江宴走了过去。
Song Niannian flicked her hair, swayed her hips, and walked towards Chu Jiangyan.

林鹿在脑海里问那个霸总系统。
Lin Lu asked the domineering CEO system in her mind.

[你自己看看，她这是需要我救的样子？]
[Take a look for yourself, does she look like she needs saving?]

[恶心我呢？……还是恶心我呢？]
[Disgusting me? ... Or disgusting me?]

霸总直接开始装聋：[……信号不好，听不见。]
The domineering CEO immediately pretended to be deaf: [...Bad signal, can't hear.]

“……”
"......"

宋念念走到了楚江宴跟前，‘不经意’露出事业线，然后娇羞的伸出右手。
Song Niannian walked up to Chu Jiangyan, 'accidentally' revealing her cleavage, then shyly extended her right hand.

“楚老师你好，我叫宋念念。”
"Hello, Professor Chu. My name is Song Niannian."

本以为楚江宴会和她握手。
He thought Chu Jiang would shake hands with her.

怎料，男人直接一个潘周聃走位躲开。
Unexpectedly, the man dodged with a Pan Zhoudan-style sidestep.

宋念念一呆。
Song Niannian froze.

不是，这可是直播，那么多人看着呢。
Wait, this is a live broadcast—so many people are watching.

这手没握上，她怎么下得来台。
She couldn't back down now without shaking hands.

宋念念硬着头皮，再次发出握手邀约。
Song Niannian steeled herself and extended her hand for a handshake once more.

然而这一次，楚江宴是背对着湖站的。
But this time, Chu Jiangyan was standing with his back to the lake.

于是，宋念念一伸手，楚江宴顿时像是被人推了一把似的，身体往后一倒。
So when Song Niannian reached out, Chu Jiangyan suddenly staggered backward as if pushed.

“扑通！”一声，掉进了湖里。
"Plop!" With a splash, they fell into the lake.

宋念念：？？？
Song Niannian: ???

其他嘉宾：！！！
Other guests: !!!

现场一片混乱，只剩下导演声嘶力竭的怒吼声。
The scene was in complete chaos, leaving only the director's hoarse and furious shouts.

“宋念念，你干了什么？”
"Song Niannian, what have you done?"

“你疯了？”
"Are you insane?"

“救援队，快（破音）——”
"Rescue team, hurry (voice breaks)——"

楚江宴的粉丝炸了。
Chu Jiangyan's fans went wild.

【宋念念你敢推我男神？】
"Song Niannian, how dare you push my idol?"

【宋念念我们跟你没完！】
["Song Niannian, we're not done with you!"]

……

宋念念人都傻了：不是她，她没有推。
Song Niannian was utterly stunned: It wasn't her, she didn't push.

她冤枉啊！
She was wronged!

第5章 是我，嫩爹
Chapter 5: It's Me, Your Daddy

#宋念念把楚江宴推下水！#火速冲上热搜。
#Song Niannian Pushes Chu Jiangyan Into the Water!# quickly tops the trending list.

微博网友一度以为自己看错了。
Weibo users initially thought they had misread the news.

很多楚江宴的粉丝还不知道他上了恋综，乍一听到消息，第一反应就是：No！
Many of Chu Jiangyan's fans were unaware of his participation in a dating show, and upon hearing the news, their first reaction was: No!

不可能，这肯定是假新闻。
No way, this must be fake news.

可事实是，她们男神不仅真的上了恋综，还真被女嘉宾推下了水。
But the truth is, their male idol not only actually joined a dating show, but was also pushed into the water by a female guest.

这能忍？
Can this be tolerated?

忍不了一点。
Not a single bit.

别说宴子们了，路人粉都看不下去了。
Not to mention the fans, even casual onlookers couldn't stand it anymore.

所有人火速杀到直播间，正好看到楚江宴虚弱的浮出水面，被两个救援人员一左一右架着，往岸上拖。
Everyone rushed to the live stream just in time to see Chu Jiangyan weakly surfacing, being dragged ashore by two rescuers on either side.

宴子们心都碎了。
The fans' hearts were shattered.

【该死的宋念念，她怎么敢的？】
[Damn Song Niannian, how dare she?]

【呜呜，男神他都快碎了，宋念念，我要你偿命！】
["Wuwu, my idol is almost broken, Song Niannian, I want you to pay with your life!"]

【宋念念不是和顾景珩锁了吗？害我家男神干什么？她有病啊？】
["Isn't Song Niannian locked with Gu Jingheng? Why harm my idol? Is she sick?"]

宋念念粉丝也是真慌了。
Song Niannian's fans were genuinely panicking.

有人弱弱的来了一句。
Someone timidly chimed in.

【其实念念跟顾顶流也没锁，也就好感而已，可能她也是想都接触一下。】
[Actually, Niannian and the top idol Gu aren't that locked in, it's just mutual liking. Maybe she just wants to explore her options.]

【对啊，她也是好心。】
[Yeah, she meant well.]

楚江宴粉丝笑了。
Chu Jiangyan's fans laughed.

【好心？那你过来，我也对你好心一个你要不要？】
[Meant well? Then come here, let me show you some "good intentions"—want a taste?]

【对，我也跟你去湖边接触一下。】
["Yes, I'll go to the lakeside with you too."]

【我们都跟你接触一下。】
["We'll all go with you."]

宋念念粉丝不敢说话了。
Song Niannian's fans didn't dare to speak anymore.

现场。
On-site.

楚江宴被救上岸，众人急忙围了过去。
Chu Jiangyan was pulled ashore, and the crowd quickly gathered around him.

“楚老师你还好吗？”
"Professor Chu, are you okay?"

楚江宴缓缓抬起头来。
Chu Jiangyan slowly raised his head.

然后，众人就发现，他竟然在笑。
Then, everyone noticed—he was actually smiling.

楚江宴其实是听到了脑海里，系统的播报音。
Chu Jiangyan actually heard the system's announcement in his mind.

[恭喜宿主完成任务：陷害女嘉宾宋念念，获得随机奖励。]
[Congratulations, host, for completing the task: Framing female guest Song Niannian. Random reward obtained.]

[奖励已存放到系统空间，可随时查看。]
[The reward has been stored in the system space and can be viewed at any time.]

楚江宴：“打开看看。！”
Chu Jiangyan: "Open it and take a look.!"

[宿主本次获得奖励是：出圈神图一张。]
[The reward you received this time is: one viral masterpiece image.]

楚江宴：？
Chu Jiangyan: ?

“什么出圈神图？让我美上热搜的那种？”
"What kind of viral masterpiece? The kind that makes me trend for being gorgeous?"

[是的呢。]
[That's right.]

“……”
"……"

楚江宴忍不住笑了笑。
Chu Jiangyan couldn't help but laugh.

果然，人在无语的时候，真的会笑。
Indeed, when people are at a loss for words, they really do laugh.

他只是随便这么一笑，但这一幕落在众人眼里，就变成了强颜欢笑的体面。
He just laughed casually, but in the eyes of everyone present, it became a dignified attempt to put on a brave face.

明明才在鬼门关走了一遭，小命都差点没了，却还想着安慰大家。
Just having narrowly escaped death's door, with his life hanging by a thread, yet he still thought of comforting everyone.

真是坚强的让人心疼！
So strong it breaks your heart!

可那该死的宋念念，她不道歉就算了，竟然还想着狡辩。
But that damned Song Niannian, not only did she refuse to apologize, she even had the nerve to try and justify herself.

“我没有，我真的没有推他。”
"I didn't, I really didn't push him."

她发红的眼眶里蓄满泪水，好似那个被欺负的人是她。
Her reddened eyes brimmed with tears, as if she were the one who had been bullied.

“楚老师，你告诉大家，是不是我推你的？”
"Teacher Chu, tell everyone, did I push you?"

楚江宴自然知道不是，是他在表演来着。
Chu Jiangyan naturally knew she hadn't—it was all his act.

“她没有推我，是我自己不小心。”
"She didn't push me. I slipped by accident."

“我的问题，真的。”
"My problem, really."

可这话落在众人耳中，就变成了：
But to everyone's ears, it sounded like:

楚影帝他人也太好了，这种时候，还为宋念念考虑。
Chu Yingdi is just too kind, even at a time like this, he's still thinking about Song Niannian.

【呜呜……男神你真的太好了。】
[Wuwu... my idol, you're truly too good.]

【我男神果然是心软的神。】
【My idol is truly a merciful god.】

【宋念念真该死啊！】
【Song Niannian really deserves to die!】

……

所有嘉宾看宋念念的眼神，都变了。
The way all the guests looked at Song Niannian had changed.

只有林鹿知道怎么回事。
Only Lin Lu knew what was going on.

因为她脑子里，那个好胜心强的霸总系统已经坐不住了。
Because in her mind, that competitive domineering CEO system couldn't sit still anymore.

[请宿主尽快完成任务。]
[Host, please complete the task as soon as possible.]

[请宿主尽快完成任务。]
[Host, please complete the task as soon as possible.]

……

林鹿问道，“所以除了你，还有一个系统，它绑定了楚江宴对不对？”
Lin Lu asked, "So besides you, there's another system that's bound to Chu Jiangyan, right?"

[……嗯。]
[......Mhm.]

“所以你原本是要绑定他？”
"So you were originally supposed to bind with him?"

[是的。]
[Yes.]

“那他绑定的是什么系统？”
"What system is he bound to?"

[这不重要的宿主。]系统都快急死了。
[That's not important, host.] The system was practically frantic.

[现在的重点是我们已经落后了，你得抓紧啊。]
[The main point now is that we're already behind—you need to hurry!]

林鹿：“是大女主系统？”
Lin Lu: "Is it the Female Protagonist System?"

[宿主，你现在应该尽快想办法去救宋念念。]
[Host, you should quickly find a way to save Song Niannian now.]

“影后系统？”
"Best Actress System?"

[宿主你听我说……]
[Host, listen to me...]

“难不成是生子系统？”
"Could it be a childbirth system?"

霸总系统有点生气：[宿主要是再不配合，就要开启惩罚机制了。]
The domineering CEO system was a bit angry: [If the host continues to refuse cooperation, the punishment mechanism will be activated.]

林鹿说：“你先告诉我楚江宴绑定的是什么系统。”
Lin Lu said, "First tell me what system Chu Jiangyan is bound to."

“你不说，我就不配合。”
"If you don't tell me, I won't cooperate."

霸总系统：[……]
The domineering CEO system: [...]

[绿茶系统]
[Green Tea System]

“绿茶？”
"Green tea?"

林鹿一整个无语住了，“所以原本我的是绿茶系统？”
Lin Lu was utterly speechless. "So originally, I had a green tea system?"

“我是绿茶？我……？？”
"Me? A green tea girl? Me...??"

林鹿被气笑了。
Lin Lu was so angry she laughed.

好好好！
Very well then!

好的很呐！
Excellent indeed!

霸总系统有点尴尬。
The domineering CEO system felt somewhat awkward.

有点担心这位宿主之后更不肯配合。
I'm a bit worried that this host will be even less cooperative in the future.

正在这时。
Just at that moment.

不远处做了半天无效解释的宋念念突然崩溃。
Not far away, Song Niannian, who had been making futile explanations for a long time, suddenly broke down.

只见她哭着大喊了一声，“既然你们都不相信我，那我去死行了吧？”
She was seen crying and shouting, "Since none of you believe me, then I might as well die, okay?"

话音落下。
The words fell silent.

“咚！”的一声，跳进了湖里。
With a "plop!" sound, he jumped into the lake.

一切发生的太过离谱，所有人都懵了。
Everything happened so absurdly that everyone was stunned.

不是，你个迫害者，你还委屈上了？
Wait, you're the persecutor, and now you're playing the victim?

跳给谁看呢这是？
Who are you putting on a show for?

就连导演和救援队都看傻眼了，一个都没动。
Even the director and rescue team were stunned, not moving a muscle.

唯独离得最远的林鹿，长腿一迈，一小段助跑之后，一头扎进了湖里。
Only Lin Lu, who was the farthest away, took a few quick strides with her long legs and dove headfirst into the lake.

紧接着，所有人就看着林鹿揪着宋念念的衣领，像抓小鸡似的，将她拖出了水面，开始往岸上游。
Then, everyone watched as Lin Lu grabbed Song Niannian by the collar, dragging her out of the water like a chick, and began swimming back to shore.

众人再次惊呆：？？？
Everyone was stunned again: ???

啊这？
Huh?

不是说林鹿总针对宋念念吗？
Wasn't it said that Lin Lu always targeted Song Niannian?

这叫针对？
This is called targeting?

卧槽好霸气啊，不愧是霸道乞丐。
Damn, that's so domineering! Truly worthy of being called the Overbearing Beggar.

绝了！
Absolutely brilliant!

就连宋念念的粉丝，都无话可说，只能把矛头对准顾景珩。
Even Song Niannian's fans were left speechless and could only direct their anger at Gu Jingheng.

【顾景珩还愣着干什么啊？他自己的老婆，要一个女的去救？】
[What the hell is Gu Jingheng still standing there for? His own wife needs a woman to save her?]

【太下头了！】
【This is so disappointing!】

顾景珩粉丝不干了。
Gu Jingheng's fans are not having it.

【笑死！难道不是宋念念先背叛了他？】
【Hilarious! Wasn't it Song Nianian who betrayed him first?】

【就是啊，要不是宋念念三心二意去撩楚江宴，怎么会有这种下场。】
【Exactly! If Song Nianian hadn't been two-timing and flirting with Chu Jiangyan, this wouldn't have happened.】

宋念念粉丝：【什么叫撩？那是推下水。】
Song Niannian's fans: ["What do you mean by 'flirting'? That was pushing her into the water."]

楚江宴粉丝：【你们总算承认是推了。】
Chu Jiangyan's fans: ["So you finally admit it was a push."]

【……】
["..."]

哦豁！
Oh ho!

弹幕乱成一团，几家粉丝吵得不可开交。
The barrage is in complete chaos, with fans from several groups arguing fiercely.

体面？
Decorum?

体面不了一点！
Not a shred of decorum!

现场。
Live scene.

导演总算回过神来了。
The director finally snapped out of it.

“哎呀妈呀，宋念念你……啊你真的……”
"Oh my god, Song Niannian, you... ah, you really..."

还好有林鹿。
Thankfully, there was Lin Lu.

导演甄勇看向林鹿的眼神都变了，眼里带着一丝敬佩。
Director Zhen Yong's gaze toward Lin Lu had changed, now carrying a hint of admiration.

更多的是感激。
More than anything, it's gratitude.

“林鹿你干得好！”
"Lin Lu, you did great!"

“加油林鹿，靠你了！”
"Go for it, Lin Lu! We're counting on you!"

宋念念本来也没想真死，她本以为顾景珩会不顾一切救她。
Song Niannian never really intended to die. She had thought Gu Jingheng would save her at all costs.

可一连喝了好几口水都没等来顾景珩。
She swallowed several mouthfuls of water in succession, but Gu Jingheng still didn't come.

就在她彻底慌了，以为就要交代在这里的时候，突然有人拉了她一把。
Just as she was completely panicked, thinking she was about to meet her end here, someone suddenly pulled her up.

宋念念心头一喜，她就知道，顾景珩不会不管她的。
Song Niannian's heart leaped with joy—she knew Gu Jingheng wouldn't abandon her.

虽然这救人的姿势有点那啥，但好歹来救她了。
Although the way he rescued her was a bit... unconventional, at least he came to save her.

宋念念又幸福了。
Song Niannian was happy again.

然而，幸福不过三秒钟，她就发现了不对劲。
However, her happiness lasted no more than three seconds before she realized something was wrong.

怎么岸上都在喊林鹿的名字？
Why was everyone on the shore shouting Lin Lu's name?

宋念念用力抬头一看。
Song Niannian strained to lift her head and look.

傻眼了。
Stunned.

“林鹿，怎么是你？”
"Lin Lu, why is it you?"

林鹿瞥了她一眼，“是我，嫩爹。”
Lin Lu glanced at her, "Yeah, it's me, your daddy."

第5章 导演你把女嘉宾笑哭了
Chapter 5: Director, You Made the Female Guest Laugh Till She Cried

看清来的人是林鹿，宋念念慌得一批。
Seeing that the person approaching was Lin Lu, Song Niannian panicked.

她立即开始挣扎，一边挣扎，一边大喊。
She immediately began to struggle, shouting as she fought.

“放开我，林鹿你放开我！”
"Let me go, Lin Lu! Let me go!"

“放开……”
"Let go..."

与此同时，霸总系统也在林鹿脑子里大喊。
At the same time, the Domineering CEO System was also shouting in Lin Lu's mind.

[我滴个宿主哟，谁让你这么救人的？不对，这姿势不对！]
[Oh my dear host, who told you to save someone like this? No, this posture is all wrong!]

[你要公主抱呀我滴妈！]
[You're supposed to carry her like a princess, for heaven's sake!]

[你到底懂不懂英雄救美啊？]
[Do you even understand how to be a hero saving a beauty?]

“不是这样吗？”林鹿问道，“那我薅她头发？”
"Isn't that right?" Lin Lu asked. "Should I pull her hair then?"

[哎呀不是啊啊啊！！]
[Oh no no no!!!]

林鹿：“那拽她脚？”
Lin Lu: "Then how about tugging her feet?"

[算了，你还是保持现在的这个姿势吧……]
[Forget it, you'd better just stay in your current position...]

……心累，真的。
...I'm exhausted, really.

林鹿继续揪着宋念念衣领子，在她疯狂挣扎+呐喊之下，一路拖着她，往岸边游。
Lin Lu continued to clutch Song Niannian by the collar, dragging her toward the shore as she struggled and screamed wildly.

游到岸边，顾景珩刚好赶了过来。
By the time they reached the shore, Gu Jingheng had just arrived.

“林鹿，你干什么？你放开念念！”
"Lin Lu, what are you doing? Let go of Niannian!"

宋念念：“对啊你放开我啊，呜呜……”
Song Niannian: "Yes, let me go, wuwu..."

【啊这……？】
[Ah, this...?]

【这两人脑子真的没问题？】
["Are these two out of their minds?"]

【……绝了，锁死吧！】
["...Unbelievable, just stay together forever!"]

【林鹿你松手，成全他们吧，我看不下去了……】
["Lin Lu, let go and let them be, I can't watch this anymore..."]

……
..

现场。
On the scene.

林鹿又何尝不是已经忍耐到了极限。
Lin Lu had also reached her limit of endurance.

好在这时，脑子里及时传来‘叮！’的一声。
Fortunately, at that moment, a timely "Ding!" sounded in her mind.

[恭喜宿主完成任务：英雄救美。]
[Congratulations, host, on completing the mission: Hero Saves the Beauty.]

[恭喜宿主获得奖励：霸总的驾驶技术。]
[Congratulations, host, you have received the reward: the driving skills of a domineering CEO.]

林鹿：“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

又是没用的。
Yet another useless one.

林鹿又想骂统了，但——
Lin Lu felt like cursing the system again, but—

她好像还有更重要的事情要做。
She seems to have more important things to do.

林鹿看了看顾景珩，又看了看宋念念。
Lin Lu glanced at Gu Jingheng, then at Song Niannian.

“这可是你们让我放开的。”
"You were the ones who told me to let go."

话落，抓着宋念念衣领的手一松。
As the words fell, the hand gripping Song Niannian's collar loosened.

“扑通！”
"Plop!"

宋念念重新回归湖里，在水里不停扑腾，惨叫连连。
Song Niannian plunged back into the lake, flailing wildly in the water and screaming incessantly.

顾景珩：“！！！”
Gu Jingheng: "!!!"

霸总系统人设（统设）都崩了，高冷不了一点：
The domineering CEO system's character setting (system setting) completely collapsed—aloofness was nowhere to be found:

[啊啊啊，不能这样啊？]
[Ahhh, you can't do this!?]

[宿主你竟然卡bug！你犯规！你你你……]
[Host, you actually exploited a bug! You're cheating! You, you, you...]

林鹿：(￣??)
Lin Lu: (￣??)

“你就说我救没救？救没救？嗯哼？”
"Just tell me, did I save you or not? Did I or didn't I? Hmm?"

[……]

霸总系统麻了。
The domineering CEO system is exasperated.

直播间的弹幕却爽了。
But the live stream chat is thrilled.

【干得漂亮，这波我挺霸道乞丐。】
["Well done, this time I'm siding with the domineering beggar."]

【所以到底是什么人在散布谣言，说林鹿针对宋念念的？】
【So who exactly is spreading rumors that Lin Lu is targeting Song Niannian?】

【这种针对我也想要，这可是救命啊！】
【I wish I could be targeted like this too—it's literally life-saving!】

【玛德宋念念就是身在福中不知福，我们楚影帝就没人救[大哭！]】
【Damn it, Song Niannian doesn’t know how lucky she is! Our Chu Yingdi has no one to save him [sobbing!]】

宴子们有点酸。
The fans are feeling a bit sour.

楚江宴本人更酸。
Chu Jiangyan himself was even more sour.

他披着条大毛巾，坐在一边眼巴巴望着林鹿。
Draped in a large towel, he sat on the side, staring longingly at Lin Lu.

跟个望妻石似的。
Like a husband yearning for his wife.

林鹿一转头就看见了他，不由一愣。
When Lin Lu turned her head and saw him, she couldn't help but freeze in surprise.

不是，他那是什么眼神？
What's with that look he's giving?

她好像没怎么他吧？
She didn't do anything to him, did she?

他们很熟么？
Are they that close?

正在这时。
Just at that moment.

眼看着宋念念扑腾的水花越来越小，整个人逐渐往下沉。
As Song Niannian's splashing grew weaker, her entire body gradually began to sink.

顾景珩彻底慌了。
Gu Jingheng was completely panicked.

也更火了，“林鹿，你个恶毒的女人！”
And even more furious, "Lin Lu, you vicious woman!"

“你为什么要把念念丢下去？”
"Why did you throw Niannian into the water?"

林鹿拳头顿时硬了。
Lin Lu's fists instantly clenched.

“你那么关心她，理应亲自下去救她呀！”
"If you care so much about her, you should go down and save her yourself!"

“去吧！”
"Go on!"

林鹿直接一jio把顾景珩踹了下去。
Lin Lu directly kicked Gu Jingheng down with one swift kick.

好了。
Alright.

救吧。
Save me.

“啊啊啊！”湖里顿时响起顾景珩杀猪般的惨叫声。
"Ahhh!" The lake instantly echoed with Gu Jingheng's pig-slaughter-like screams.

“林鹿你个疯子，我不会游泳啊啊啊……咕噜咕噜……“
"Lin Lu, you lunatic, I can't swim ahhh... glug glug..."

“救命啊……咕噜咕噜……”
"Help... glug glug..."

“……”
"......"

#林鹿英雄救美#
#Lin Lu Saves the Beauty#

#楚江宴羡慕的小眼神#
#Chu Jiangyan's Envious Glance#

#顾景珩宋念念鸳鸯浴#
#Gu Jingheng and Song Niannian's Romantic Bath#

#顾景珩到底喝了多少水？#
#Just How Much Water Did Gu Jingheng Drink?#

微博再现新词条，直接引爆热搜，又为综艺引流了一大批观众。
A new hashtag emerged on Weibo, instantly trending and drawing a massive audience to the variety show.

节目开播第一天，热度就一路往上直飚。
On the very first day of its premiere, the show's popularity skyrocketed.

导演甄勇高兴得嘴都笑歪了。
Director Zhen Yong was so delighted that he couldn't stop grinning.

他一边找自己嘴角，一边招呼顾景珩和宋念念。
While trying to find his own smile lines, he beckoned Gu Jingheng and Song Niannian over.

“哎哟哟……身上好多水草哈哈哈……赶紧先去换衣服吧先啊哈哈……”
"Ouch... so much seaweed on me, hahaha... hurry up and go change your clothes first, haha..."

宋念念哇的一声，哭了。
Song Niannian burst into tears with a loud wail.

“导演你为什么要笑我们？呜呜……我已经很难受了……”
"Director, why are you laughing at us? Wuwu... I'm already feeling terrible..."

导演：“……”
Director: "..."

苍天呐！
Heavens above!

他到底为什么要请这样一个女嘉宾？
Why on earth did he invite such a female guest?

想想节目开播第一天，这空前的热度，她贡献不少，又顿时释然了。
But then I thought about the unprecedented popularity on the show's first day, to which she contributed significantly, and suddenly felt relieved.

于是又找不到嘴角了。
And then I couldn't stop smiling again.

“我没笑你，哈哈……你别哭了，哈哈哈……”
"I'm not laughing at you, haha... stop crying, hahaha..."

宋念念哭更大声了。
Song Niannian cried even louder.

【啊这……我麻了。】
[Oh dear... I'm speechless.]

【受不了了，那么爱哭滚回家哭啊！】
[Can't take it anymore, if you love crying so much then go home and cry!]

【哈哈哈笑死我了，导演也是个喜剧人啊！】
【Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter, the director is such a comedian!】

【不是，这是恋综？】
【Wait, isn't this a dating show?】

【这怕不是癫综哦！】
【This feels more like a crazy variety show!】

……

热搜再现新词条。
A new trending topic appears on the hot search list.

#甄勇导演你是真的勇，你竟然把女嘉宾笑哭了！#
#Director Zhen Yong, you're truly brave—you actually made the female guest laugh until she cried!#

与此同时。
Meanwhile.

四名落水嘉宾换好衣服后，导演甄勇又开始忙往下cue流程。
After the four guests who fell into the water changed their clothes, Director Zhen Yong quickly moved on to cue the next segment.

他拿着一个大喇叭：
He held a megaphone:

“我们节目组为嘉宾准备了下午茶，现在请各位移步到休息室。”
"Our production team has prepared afternoon tea for the guests. Please proceed to the lounge now."

【哇哦，还有下午茶。】
[Wow, there's afternoon tea too.]

【总算找到点恋综的感觉了。】
[Finally getting some dating show vibes.]

然而两分钟后。
However, two minutes later.

看着节目组准备的休息室，嘉宾懵了，弹幕也懵了。
Looking at the lounge prepared by the production team, both the guests and the barrage comments were stunned.

休息室确实有，下午茶也有。
There was indeed a lounge, and afternoon tea was also provided.

可是。
But.

没有想象中的餐桌，只有一排……工位。
No dining table as imagined, just a row of... workstations.

对，你没听错，工位。
Yes, you heard it right, workstations.

还是一竖排，前后桌的那种。
And they're arranged in a single-file row, front and back desks style.

并且，每个座位的桌子上，最显眼的不是点心，而是提前架好的机位。
Moreover, what stands out most on each desk isn't snacks, but pre-set camera rigs.

随着六位嘉宾入座，直播间也被分成了六个。
As the six guests took their seats, the live broadcast room was divided into six sections.

导演笑呵呵的拿出一叠卡片，“大家一边吃东西，一边来做一份小小的问卷调查。”
The director cheerfully pulled out a stack of cards, saying, "While you enjoy your food, let's also complete a small questionnaire."

嘉宾：“……”
The guests: "..."

他们这才发现，每个座位前面，还有一块白板，以及马克笔。
Only then did they notice that in front of each seat, there was also a whiteboard and a marker.

好你个甄勇。
You're something else, Zhen Yong.

下午茶是幌子，问卷调查才是你的目的对吧？
Afternoon tea was just a front—your real goal was the survey, wasn't it?

骗子！
Liar!

嘉宾麻了，弹幕则是一整片沸腾了，激动了。
The guest was stunned, while the barrage exploded with excitement and fervor.

【搞事，导演要搞事了！】
【Here comes the drama, the director is stirring things up!】

【理想型，爱情观……喜欢的类型，讨厌的类型，雷点啥啥的呗，我懂我懂……】
【Ideal type, views on love... the type you like, the type you dislike, deal-breakers and all that, I get it, I get it...】

【哇咔咔，我要看楚影帝的理想型。】
【Hahaha, I want to see Chu Yingdi's ideal type.】

【这种环节，直播就很有意思了，做不了假呀(☆▽☆)】
【This kind of segment is so interesting in a live broadcast, no room for faking it (☆▽☆)】

【这个下午茶环节我喜欢！！】
["I love this afternoon tea session!!"]

【甄勇我敬你是条汉子，来点猛料啊，别让我失望……】
["Zhen Yong, I respect you as a true man, bring on the intense stuff, don't let me down..."]

……
......

甄勇嘿嘿一笑，抛出了第一个问题。
Zhen Yong chuckled and threw out the first question.

“对于同个剧组演员之间的恋情，你怎么看？”
"What do you think about romantic relationships between actors from the same production crew?"

其他嘉宾的答案都比较相似：祝福，很正常，嗑糖……
The answers from the other guests were quite similar: blessings, it's normal, enjoying the sweetness...

楚江宴：坚决反对。
Chu Jiangyan: Firmly opposed.

林鹿：用眼睛看。
Lin Lu: Watch with your eyes.

现场暧昧气氛被一秒打破。
The ambiguous atmosphere on the scene was shattered in an instant.

【？？？我看见了什么，和什么？】
[??? What am I seeing, and what?]

【咳咳……你俩是来捣乱的吧？】
[Ahem... Are you two here to cause trouble?]

【用眼睛看是个什么回答？难不成还能用嘴看？】
[What kind of answer is "use your eyes to see"? Could you possibly use your mouth to see?]

【坚决反对的那位，你想干嘛？】
["What are you trying to do, you who are so adamantly opposed?"]

……

“你妈妈和你的另一半同时掉进水里，你先救谁？”
"Your mother and your significant other both fall into the water at the same time. Who do you save first?"

这可是几辈人都回答不上来的老难题了。
This is an age-old dilemma that has stumped generations.

嘉宾久久无法落笔，弹幕也出现了分歧。
The guest hesitated for a long time before putting pen to paper, and the live comments were divided.

【媳妇没了可以再娶，妈就一个。】
["You can always remarry if you lose your wife, but you only have one mother."]

【可是老婆才是要在一起过一辈子的人啊！】
["But your wife is the one you'll spend your life with!"]

纠结许久之后。
After much deliberation.

顾景珩，宋念念和彭怦选择了：另一半。
Gu Jingheng, Song Niannian, and Peng Peng chose: the other half.

沈今梨选择：救妈妈。
Shen Jinli's choice: Save mom.

好吧，到这里，画风其实都还算正常。
Alright, up to this point, the tone was still relatively normal.

直到画面切换到了另外两个人的答题板上。
Until the screen switched to the answer boards of two other people.

楚江宴：我妈会游泳，可以把我媳妇救上来，我可以当啦啦队。
Chu Jiangyan: My mom can swim, she can save my wife, and I can be the cheerleader.

【你还拉拉队，看把你能的。】
【You're in the cheerleading squad, acting all high and mighty.】

林鹿：这点自救能力都没有？
Lin Lu: Can't even manage basic self-rescue?

【不会游泳的我感觉受到了鄙视呜呜……】
【As someone who can't swim, I feel personally attacked...】

【虽然但是，一个男的如果还需要人救，那真的……】
【Even so, if a guy still needs rescuing, that's just...】

【楚江宴：谁？谁在diss我？】
【Chu Jiang Banquet: Who? Who's dissing me?】

【哈哈哈哈笑不活了！】
【Hahaha I can't stop laughing!】

……

第7章 你的宝马，不，是饱马
Chapter 7 Your BMW, no, it's a Full Horse

“当你和伴侣发生争执，你第一反应是？”
"When you have an argument with your partner, what's your first reaction?"

其他嘉宾：道歉，讲道理，冷静……
Other guests: Apologize, reason things out, stay calm...

楚江宴：想哭。
Chu Jiangyan: Want to cry.

【？？？哥你认真的吗？】
[??? Bro, are you serious?]

【我不信，除非你现在哭一个让我看看。】
["I don't believe it unless you cry right now to prove it."]

林鹿：直接拉过来亲。
Lin Lu: Just pull them over and kiss them.

【啊啊啊，我看到了什么？】
["Ahhh, what am I seeing?"]

【牛啊，不愧是我霸道的鹿姐。】
["Damn, that's my domineering Sister Lu for you."]

【林鹿你这是要帅死个谁？】
【Lin Lu, who are you trying to kill with your handsomeness?】

【老天奶哟，她好霸道啊，我好喜欢！】
【Oh my god, she's so domineering, I love it!】

【乞丐就乞丐吧，好歹她霸道啊呜呜……】
【A beggar is just a beggar, but at least she's domineering... sob...】

……

“请写出你的理想型。”
"Please describe your ideal type."

“注意：这一题可能会关系到接下来的第一次分组哦。”
"Note: This question may affect the upcoming first round of grouping."

女嘉宾这边，在一片‘外在魅力’‘内在品质’中，林鹿的白板上出现了九个大字：
Among the female guests, amidst answers like 'external charm' and 'inner qualities,' Lin Lu's whiteboard displayed nine bold characters:

长得帅且听话的男人。
A handsome and obedient man.

【你小子！】
【You little rascal!】

【噗哈哈哈哈，林鹿你这是在演我。】
【Pfft hahaha, Lin Lu, you're totally mocking me.】

【嘿嘿也是我的理想型。】
【Hehe, also my ideal type.】

男嘉宾那边。
From the male guest's side.

其他男嘉宾：‘大眼睛’‘长头发’‘温柔’‘善良’……
Other male guests: 'Big eyes' 'Long hair' 'Gentle' 'Kind-hearted'...

楚江宴：霸道的女人。
Chu Jiangyan: A domineering woman.

【？？？？霸道？】
【What the... So domineering?】

【哦莫哦莫，真没想到哥哥竟然是这样的小男人。】
【Oh my, I never expected you to be such a petty man.】

【哥哥看我，我很霸道的。】
【Look at me, I'm the domineering one.】

【我能行，让我来。】
【I can do it, let me handle it.】

【噗……全是大黄丫头啊。】
【Pfft... all of them are big yellow girls.】

……
......

“最后一题，女嘉宾作答即可。”
"For the last question, only the female guest needs to answer."

导演嘿嘿一笑，说，“这题会关系到接下来乘坐的交通工具哦。”
The director chuckled and said, "This question will determine the mode of transportation for the next part."

他清了清嗓子，读出了最后一个问题。
He cleared his throat and read out the last question.

“在宝马上哭和在自行车上笑，你选择哪个？”
"Would you rather cry in a BMW or laugh on a bicycle?"

沈今梨向往的是那种很纯粹的感情，所以她没有任何犹豫就落笔了。
Shen Jinli yearned for that kind of pure emotion, so she didn't hesitate before putting pen to paper.

“在自行车上笑。”
"Laugh on a bicycle."

宋念念脑子里想到的是，接下来的交通工具，她才不要自行车，多low啊。
Song Niannian thought to herself that the next mode of transportation she wanted was definitely not a bicycle—how uncool would that be.

于是，她在白板上写下：
So, she wrote on the whiteboard:

在宝马上哭。
Crying in a BMW.

弹幕简单几条点评之后。
After a few brief comments from the bullet chat.

出现了整齐划一的：
There appeared a uniform chorus of:

【快给我切林鹿，我看她这次要怎么写。】
["Quick, cut to Lin Lu, I want to see how she's going to write this time."]

【我也很好奇林鹿会选什么？】
["I'm also curious about what Lin Lu will choose?"]

【直觉告诉我她一个都不会选。】
["My gut tells me she won't pick any of them."]

镜头适时切了过去。
The camera cut to the scene at just the right moment.

林鹿的答题板上，是九个大字：
On Lin Lu's answer board were nine large characters:

我要自己握着方向盘。
I want to hold the steering wheel myself.

【漂亮！！！！】
[Beautiful!!!!]

【啊啊啊太对了，再好的副驾驶都不如自己握紧方向盘，太赞同了！】
【Ahhh so true! No matter how good the co-pilot is, it's never as reliable as holding the steering wheel yourself—I totally agree!】

【就是就是，不愧是霸道鹿姐！】
【Exactly! That's our domineering Sister Lu for you!】

【这才是大女主啊，林鹿你活成了我想要的样子，我要粉你！！】
【Now this is what a strong female lead looks like! Lin Lu, you're living the life I aspire to—I'm officially your fan!!】

【确实如此姐妹们，什么宝马车上哭，如果一个男人让你哭，那他就可以滚了！】
【Absolutely, sisters! Who cares about crying in a BMW? If a man makes you cry, he can just get lost!】

【就是，自行车就更不用说了，最愚蠢的就是陪男人吃苦了。】
As for bicycles, needless to say, the dumbest thing is suffering alongside a man.

看着弹幕满屏叫好，黑粉立即见缝插针。
Seeing the barrage of praise flooding the screen, the anti-fans immediately seized the opportunity to snipe.

【吹牛逼谁不会？林鹿她自己能做到吗？】
Anyone can brag—but can Lin Lu actually do it herself?

【林鹿你就装吧，我会一直盯着你的。】
Keep pretending, Lin Lu. I'll be watching you.

……

调查问卷填写完毕，导演组迅速做了分析。
The survey was completed, and the production team quickly conducted an analysis.

紧接着，导演便开始继续往下走流程了。
Immediately after, the director proceeded to the next step of the process.

“目前，我们距离‘恋爱小屋’还有三公里的距离，这三公里，需要你们自行前往。”
"Currently, we are three kilometers away from the 'Love Cottage.' You'll need to make your own way there for these last three kilometers."

“而刚才，通过你们填写的问卷调查，节目组已经做了全面分析，帮你们进行了分组。”
"Just now, through the questionnaires you filled out, the program team has conducted a comprehensive analysis and has grouped you accordingly."

“宣布分组结果之前，我们先来给各组分配交通工具。”
"Before announcing the grouping results, let's first assign transportation methods to each group."

“现在，按顺序揭晓三位女嘉宾获得的交通工具。”
"Now, in order, we will reveal the transportation methods assigned to the three female guests."

“第一位女嘉宾，沈今梨。”
"The first female guest, Shen Jinli."

沈今梨脸上挂着微笑，一脸的期待。
Shen Jinli wore a smile on her face, full of anticipation.

直到听到导演开口。
Until she heard the director speak.

“大运摩托一辆！”
"A Dayun motorcycle!"

沈今梨：？？？
Shen Jinli: ???

弹幕也麻了。
The barrage is also numb.

【啊狗导演你是真的狗。】
[Ah, Director Dog, you're really something else.]

【等下要去村里，摩托其实很好使。】
[Heading to the village later, motorcycles are actually quite handy.]

【梨梨选了自行车，所以给她分配摩托车，倒也算合理。】
[Lili chose a bicycle, so assigning her a motorcycle is somewhat reasonable.]

【那林鹿的方向盘很好啊，高低配个四轮。】
【That Lin Lu's steering wheel is really nice, high or low, it comes with four wheels.】

然而——
However—

直播现场。
Live broadcast scene.

导演：“第二位女嘉宾林鹿，获得拖拉机一辆。”
Director: "The second female guest, Lin Lu, wins a tractor."

【……】

【噗……方向盘确实有(/ω＼)】
【Pfft... The steering wheel is indeed there (/ω＼)】

【笑不活了，林鹿，快握紧你的拖拉机方向盘吧。】
【Can't stop laughing, Lin Lu, better hold tight to your tractor's steering wheel.】

【她来了她来了，霸道乞丐来了，太应景了家人们。】
【Here she comes, here she comes, the domineering beggar is coming, it's so fitting, folks.】

现场。
On the scene.

看到沈今梨的摩托和林鹿的拖拉机，宋念念爽了。
Seeing Shen Jinli's motorcycle and Lin Lu's tractor, Song Niannian felt satisfied.

她倒是要看看，林鹿要怎么握那拖拉机方向盘。
She was eager to see how Lin Lu would handle that tractor's steering wheel.

看把她能的？
Who does she think she is?

同时，也很期待节目组给自己开过来一辆宝马车。
At the same time, she was also looking forward to the production team bringing her a BMW.

正期待，就见两个工作人员，一人牵着一匹马走了过来。
Looking forward, I saw two staff members walking over, each leading a horse.

导演：“宋念念，你的宝马。”
Director: "Song Niannian, your BMW."

宋念念脸上笑容一秒僵住。
Song Niannian's smile froze in an instant.

天都塌了。
The sky had fallen.

“导演你是认真的吗？”
"Director, are you serious?"

“是啊！”
"Yeah!"

“你管这叫宝马？”
"You call this a BMW?"

导演：“对啊，这两匹马都已经喂饱了，就是饱马”
Director: "Exactly, these two horses are already well-fed, so they're 'full horses'"

“……”
"……"

【不行了不行了，我头都要笑掉了……】
[I can't take it anymore, I'm laughing my head off...]

【神特么的宝马啊？导演你真的够了！】
[What the hell kind of BMW is this? Director, you've really gone too far!]

【可这确实是饱马(/ω＼)】
[But this is indeed a "full horse" (/ω＼)]

【所以等下宋念念和顾景珩，要骑马约会(/ω＼)】
【So later, Song Niannian and Gu Jingheng are going on a horseback riding date (/ω＼)】

【其实骑马还挺浪漫的，我反正觉得比拖拉机好。】
【Actually, horseback riding is quite romantic. I definitely think it's better than a tractor.】

【那肯定。】
【Absolutely.】

……

现场。
On the scene.

顾景珩也这么觉得。
Gu Jingheng thought so too.

于是，看着快急哭了的宋念念，他急忙安慰道。
So, looking at Song Nianian who was almost crying in anxiety, he quickly comforted her.

“没事的念念，我会骑马，等下我们俩骑一匹，我保护你。”
"It's okay, Nianian, I can ride a horse. Later, we'll ride together, and I'll protect you."

“嗯嗯！”宋念念又幸福了。
"Yeah, yeah!" Song Niannian was happy again.

如果不是导演及时跳出来的话，“谁说是你们俩一组了？”
If the director hadn't jumped in just in time, "Who said you two are in the same group?"

宋念念一愣。
Song Niannian froze.

顾景珩亦是满脸疑惑，“不是按照理想型分组吗？”
Gu Jingheng was also full of confusion, "Isn't it grouped by ideal type?"

他确定，他们是彼此的理想型。
He was certain that they were each other's ideal type.

那肯定是一组啊。
They must definitely be a match.

宋念念也是这么想的。
Song Niannian thought the same.

其实，一开始，她填写问卷调查的时候，还是考虑过往楚江宴特点上写的。
Actually, when she first filled out the questionnaire, she had considered writing based on Chu Jiangyan's characteristics.

毕竟那是楚江宴啊。
After all, that was Chu Jiangyan.

可一想到第一次见面，那家伙就突然自己往水里倒，把她害得那么惨，她就退缩了。
But recalling their first meeting, when that guy suddenly threw himself into the water and caused her so much trouble, she hesitated.

起码暂时先不选他了，再观察观察。
At least for now, she wouldn't choose him—better to observe a bit longer.

而选顾景珩，是最安全的。
And choosing Gu Jingheng was the safest option.

可导演那话是什么意思？
What did the director mean by that?

导演：“确实是按照问卷调查中，理想型这一项来完成组队分配的。”
Director: "The team assignments were indeed made based on the 'ideal type' category in the questionnaire survey."

“但是！”
"But!"

众嘉宾：“……”
All guests: "..."

懂了。
Got it.

【要搞事呗。】
[You're looking for trouble, huh.]

导演继续：“谈恋爱其实是一件很讲究缘分的事情，尤其是第一印象，真的很重要。”
The director continued, "Falling in love is actually something that heavily depends on fate, especially the first impression—it's really important."

“好的第一印象重要，坏的第一印象更重要。”
"A good first impression is important, but a bad first impression is even more important."

“有一句话是这么说的，经历过错的人，对的人出现的时候，才会更加珍惜。”
"There's a saying that goes, only those who have experienced mistakes will cherish the right person when they appear."

“这就是所谓的，降低试错成本。”
"This is what they call reducing the cost of trial and error."

【所以，第一次约会，是和最不能接受的类型？】
[So, the first date is with the least acceptable type?]

【这是什么规则？】
[What kind of rule is this?]

【别说嘉宾，我都麻了。】
[Not just the guests, even I'm stunned.]

……
...

第8章 拖拉机飙出牧马人既视感
Chapter 8: A Tractor Racing Like a Wrangler

接下来是十五分钟的自由活动时间。
Next was fifteen minutes of free activity time.

直播间则是广告时间。
The live stream room is now in advertisement time.

十五分钟后，女嘉宾带着专属于自己的交通工具，在指定地点等待。
Fifteen minutes later, the female guest arrives at the designated location with her personal mode of transportation.

男嘉宾则会收到一张卡片，卡片上是组队女嘉宾的名字和地址。
The male guest will receive a card with the name and address of his paired female guest.

男嘉宾按照卡片提示，去找女嘉宾，并一同前往‘恋爱小屋’。
The male guest follows the instructions on the card to find the female guest, and together they head to the 'Love Cottage'.

强行营业了很久，宋念念已经快绷不住了。
After forcing herself to perform for so long, Song Niannian was on the verge of breaking down.

导演刚宣布自由活动，她立即躲到角落里，去给经纪人打电话。
As soon as the director announced free time, she immediately hid in a corner to call her agent.

没想到经纪人比她还要火大，“宋念念，你脑子坏了？”
Unexpectedly, her agent was even angrier than her. "Song Niannian, have you lost your mind?"

“你把楚影帝推下水去做什么？”
"What were you thinking, pushing Chu Yingdi into the water?"

宋念念只觉得心累，“节目上我就解释过很多次了，我真的没有推他。”
Song Niannian just felt emotionally drained. "I've explained it many times on the show—I really didn't push him."

“连你也不相信我吗？”
"Even you don't believe me?"

经纪人：“……”
The agent: "..."

“我相信你有什么用？”
"What good does it do if I believe you?"

沉默了一会儿后，她说道，“别去招惹林鹿了。”
After a moment of silence, she said, "Don't provoke Lin Lu anymore."

“林鹿就是个舔狗，你不用管她，她就能把自己作死。”
"Lin Lu is just a simp. You don't need to bother with her; she'll ruin herself."

“也别去招惹楚江宴了，他不是你能招惹的。”
"And don't provoke Chu Jiangyan either. He's not someone you can afford to mess with."

宋念念眼里闪过一丝不甘。
Song Niannian's eyes flashed with a trace of unwillingness.

经纪人：“顾景珩还是很喜欢你的，你把握好。”
The agent: "Gu Jingheng still likes you very much, make sure you handle it well."

宋念念累了一天，可不想听训。
Song Nianian was exhausted after a long day and didn't want to hear any lectures.

她直接说道，“晚点公司能不能帮我上一波热搜？”
She said directly, "Can the company help me get trending later?"

“美貌或者撒糖都行。”
"Whether it's for beauty or sweet moments, either is fine."

经纪人想了想，说：“……我安排一下吧。”
The agent thought for a moment and said, "...I'll arrange it."

……
...

男嘉宾陆续到达指定地点，和女嘉宾相遇。
The male guests arrived at the designated location one after another and met the female guests.

第一次的分组的不心动组合，也终于公开。
The first group of non-heartthrob pairings was finally revealed.

沈今梨和彭怦。
Shen Jinli and Peng Peng.

宋念念和楚江宴。
Song Niannian and Chu Jiangyan.

林鹿和顾景珩。
Lin Lu and Gu Jingheng.

弹幕又开始产生分歧了。
The barrage comments are starting to diverge again.

【沈今梨和彭怦哪里有互相讨厌？】
【Where is the mutual dislike between Shen Jinli and Peng Peng?】

【谁不知道林鹿是顾景珩的舔狗？她怎么可能讨厌顾景珩？】
【Who doesn't know Lin Lu is Gu Jingheng's lapdog? How could she possibly dislike Gu Jingheng?】

【但顾景珩讨厌她是真的呀！】
【But it's true that Gu Jingheng dislikes her!】

要说没有争议，那就宋念念和楚江宴这组了。
If we're talking about a pair without controversy, then it's Song Niannian and Chu Jiangyan's group.

但，宴子们很担心是真的。
But, the fans' concerns are real.

【啊啊不要跟宋念念一组啊，她再推我男神一次怎么办？】
[Ahhh, don't pair up with Song Niannian! What if she pushes my idol again?]

【她再动手就不要忍了，打回去！！】
[If she lays hands on him again, don't hold back—hit back!!]

【就是，让她在她的宝马上哭吧！】
[Exactly! Let her cry in her BMW!]

……

彭怦还是那么热情，老远就开始挥手。
Peng Peng was still as enthusiastic as ever, waving from afar.

沈今梨也急忙礼貌回应，“你好你好。”
Shen Jinli also hurriedly responded politely, "Hello, hello."

彭怦捂着胸口做痛苦状，“原来阿梨妹妹讨厌我，受伤了受伤了。”
Peng Peng clutched his chest in mock pain, "So Sister Ali dislikes me, wounded, wounded."

阿梨妹妹什么鬼？
What the heck is this "Little Sister Ali"?

他们有那么熟么？
Are they really that close?

沈今梨尴尬的脚趾抠地了已经。
Shen Jinli was already cringing so hard she could dig a hole in the ground with her toes.

偏偏，弹幕莫名其妙开始嗑上了。
And of course, the barrage inexplicably started shipping them.

【哥哥好幽默啊！】
【Big brother is so funny!】

【莫名的很好磕怎么讲？】
【Why does it feel inexplicably shippable?】

【他闹她笑，好甜啊！】
【He teases, she laughs—so sweet!】

……

彭怦自称私下也经常骑摩托，还说要秀一秀摩托技术。
Peng Peng claimed to often ride motorcycles in private and even said he wanted to show off his riding skills.

两人很快就出发了。
The two soon set off.

‘宝马’组那边。
Over at the 'BMW' group.

看到来的人是楚江宴，宋念念眼里的欣喜藏都藏不住。
When she saw that the person arriving was Chu Jiangyan, Song Niannian couldn't hide the delight in her eyes.

“楚老师，竟然是你。”
"Teacher Chu, it's actually you."

楚江宴淡淡的点了点头。
Chu Jiangyan nodded faintly.

宋念念说：“那个……刚见面时候的那个事情，真的是意外，我……”
Song Niannian said, "Um... about what happened when we first met, it was really an accident, I..."

“我真不会害你的。”
"I really wouldn't harm you."

楚江宴：“没事。”
Chu Jiangyan: "It's fine."

气氛一时有些尴尬。
The atmosphere became somewhat awkward for a moment.

很快，宋念念又急忙找了个话题。
Soon, Song Niannian hurriedly changed the subject.

“这分组也不准吧，我其实挺喜欢你这样的类型的。”
"This grouping isn't accurate either. I actually quite like your type."

【别！我家哥哥就一条命！】
[No! My idol only has one life to live!]

【楚影帝可谢谢你的喜欢了。】
Thank you for your liking, Mr. Chu the Movie Emperor.

【你表达喜欢的方式，还真是别具一格啊！牛！】
Your way of expressing affection is truly unique! Impressive!

宋念念说完后，就一脸期待的看着楚江宴。
After saying this, Song Niannian looked at Chu Jiangyan with an expectant expression.

怎料，对方却开口道，“挺准的啊。”
Unexpectedly, the other party responded, "Quite accurate indeed."

“你确实是我绝对不会考虑的类型。”
"You're definitely not my type at all."

宋念念的脸唰的一下，白了。
Song Niannian's face instantly turned pale.

进圈这么多年，宋念念自认为自己很会拿捏男人。
Having been in the industry for so many years, Song Niannian prided herself on knowing how to handle men.

但这一次，她真的不知道该怎么办了。
But this time, she truly didn't know what to do.

还好，及时收到了导演组的催促。
Fortunately, the director's reminder came just in time.

“还没出发的嘉宾抓紧了，最后一名会有惩罚哦。”
"Guests who haven't left yet, hurry up. The last one will face punishment."

宋念念抓住机会，对着楚江宴开口。
Song Niannian seized the opportunity and spoke to Chu Jiangyan.

“楚老师，那我们出发吧。”
"Teacher Chu, shall we get going then?"

“行。”
"Okay."

“我可以和你同骑一匹吗？”
"Can I ride with you on the same horse?"

楚江宴：？
Chu Jiangyan: ?

“这不好吧。”
"That wouldn't be appropriate."

宋念念咬着嘴唇，都快哭了。
Song Niannian bit her lip, almost on the verge of tears.

“可是我不敢自己骑欸。”
"But I don't dare to ride by myself."

本以为这样，楚江宴就不得不妥协。
She thought Chu Jiangyan would have no choice but to compromise.

怎料，他直接呼叫导演组。
Unexpectedly, he directly called the production team.

“导演导演，这里有人不会骑马，你们过来处理下。”
"Director, director, someone here doesn't know how to ride a horse. Come and handle this."

导演：“……”这是你自己的cp，你自己处理呀。
Director: "..." That's your own CP, you deal with it yourself.

换做别的人，导演可能就直接下令自行处理了。
If it were anyone else, the director might have just ordered them to handle it themselves.

但，那可是楚江宴那尊大佛。
But that was none other than the great Buddha, Chu Jiangyan.

他之前被宋念念推下水，没拒绝和宋念念一组，已经很给节目组面子了。
He had already given the production team enough face by not refusing to be in the same group as Song Niannian after she pushed him into the water earlier.

于是，导演安排了一个人，去帮宋念念牵马。
So, the director arranged for someone to help Song Niannian lead the horse.

牵马人一到，楚江宴顿时动作潇洒地翻身上马。
As soon as the horse handler arrived, Chu Jiangyan gracefully mounted the horse with a stylish move.

随着他一声清亮的“驾~”，马匹如离弦之箭一般疾驰而去，只留下一个渐行渐远的背影。
With his clear shout of "Giddy up~," the horse galloped away like an arrow released from a bow, leaving only a receding figure in the distance.

【啊啊啊太帅了！】
【Ahhh so handsome!】

【男人，你这是在我心尖策马奔腾啊。】
【Man, you're galloping right on the tip of my heart.】

……

拖拉机组。
Tractor Team.

林鹿端坐在拖拉机的驾驶座上，眼神冷漠地扫了一眼车前站着的那个人。
Lin Lu sat upright in the tractor's driver seat, casting a cold glance at the person standing in front of the vehicle.

顾景珩顿时一声冷笑。
Gu Jingheng let out a cold laugh.

“林鹿，你或许会觉得节目组这个分组不准，但其实挺准的。”
"Lin Lu, you might think the show's grouping is inaccurate, but it's actually quite precise."

“我们没有可能。”
"There's no possibility for us."

林鹿：“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

那可太好了。
That's just perfect.

她问系统：“你说天底下怎么会有这么不要脸的人？”
She asked the system, "How can there be such shameless people in this world?"

“我还要和这种人同坐一辆车，我是触犯天条了吗？”
"And I have to share a car with this kind of person—did I violate some divine law?"

霸总系统叹了口气，[大概是吧。]
The domineering CEO system sighed, [Probably so.]

造孽。
What a sin.

林鹿面无表情地拍了拍拖拉机的方向盘。
Lin Lu expressionlessly patted the steering wheel of the tractor.

“你到底上不上车？”她的声音冷冰冰的，没有丝毫温度。
"Are you getting in or not?" Her voice was icy, devoid of any warmth.

但顾景珩却脑补出了一万个剧情。
But Gu Jingheng's mind was spinning with a thousand scenarios.

呵。
Hmph.

果然是爱惨了我。
It's clear you're utterly smitten with me.

林鹿：白眼jpg
Lin Lu: Eye roll jpg

顾景珩一脸嫌弃的上了车。
Gu Jingheng boarded the car with a look of disdain.

嫌弃车，也嫌弃人。
Disdain for the car, and disdain for the person.

林鹿始终看着前方，看都没看他一眼。
Lin Lu kept her gaze fixed ahead, not even glancing at him.

她双手稳稳地握住方向盘，目光专注地盯着前方。
She gripped the steering wheel firmly with both hands, her gaze fixed intently on the road ahead.

“坐稳了？”
"Ready?"

“坐稳了。”顾景珩随口应道，心里却暗自嘀咕，这破拖拉机能有多快。
"Ready," Gu Jingheng replied casually, though inwardly he scoffed—how fast could this rickety tractor possibly go?

然而，当林鹿猛地踩下油门时，他才意识到自己错得有多离谱。
Yet when Lin Lu suddenly floored the accelerator, he realized just how wrong he had been.

拖拉机像一头被激怒的猛兽，轰然冲了出去，发出震耳欲聋的轰鸣声。
The tractor roared out like an enraged beast, emitting an ear-splitting din.

林鹿的双手紧紧握住方向盘，她的长发在风中肆意飞舞，与拖拉机的轰鸣声交织在一起，构成了一幅独特的画面。
Lin Lu gripped the steering wheel tightly, her long hair whipping wildly in the wind, intertwining with the tractor's thunderous roar to create a unique spectacle.

她的驾驶技术娴熟而果敢，硬是把这辆拖拉机开出了牧马人的气势和速度。
Her driving skills were both masterful and daring, managing to pilot the tractor with the vigor and speed of a Jeep Wrangler.

而副驾驶的顾景珩，则在车子飙出去的刹那，身体猛的往后一仰，发出一声惨叫。
Meanwhile, Gu Jingheng in the passenger seat was thrown violently backward the moment the vehicle accelerated, letting out a pained cry.

“嗷……”
"Oww..."

车速很快，风把他的脸都吹变形了。
The car sped along so fast that the wind distorted his face.

看起来就像一只大号邪恶摇粒绒。
He looked like an oversized evil fleece plush.

【卧槽，林鹿怎么还有点帅？】
[Damn, Lin Lu actually looks kinda handsome?]

【你管这叫有点？】
["You call this 'a little'?"]

【也就有亿点帅吧。】
["Just a tiny bit handsome, that's all."]

【啊啊啊帅炸了，狂傲不羁，谁也不服。】
["Ahhh so devastatingly handsome, wild and unruly, bowing to no one."]

【这和开牧马人有什么区别。】
["How is this any different from driving a Wrangler?"]

【果然方向盘握在手里，世界就在掌握之中。】
【With the steering wheel firmly in hand, the world is truly within my grasp.】

【啊啊啊林鹿太帅了，顾景珩也是有鼻子有眼的。】
【Ahhh Lin Lu is so handsome, and Gu Jingheng is quite the looker too.】

……

第9章 她哪里顶得住
Chapter 9: How Could She Possibly Resist

山路比较崎岖，弯道又特别多。
The mountain road is quite rugged with many sharp turns.

但，霸总的驾驶技术，确实是牛，就算是拖拉机，剩下的也就是一个‘帅’字。
But, the CEO's driving skills are truly impressive—even in a tractor, all that's left to say is 'cool'.

虽然林鹿始终没想明白，谁家霸总还会开拖拉机这个问题。
Although Lin Lu never quite figured out why a domineering CEO would drive a tractor.

不过这好像也不太重要，反正冲就完了。
But it didn’t seem to matter much anyway—just charge ahead.

林鹿冲就完了。
Lin Lu charged ahead.

可顾景珩，是真的完了。
But Gu Jingheng—he was truly done for.

因为，他竟然晕拖拉机了。
Because, he actually got motion sickness from the tractor.

车子刚冲出去没多久，他整个人就感觉被颠得头晕目眩，胃里更是一阵阵的翻滚。
Not long after the vehicle sped off, he felt completely dizzy from the jolting, and his stomach churned violently.

他张了张嘴，却顿时吃了一嘴的灰。
He opened his mouth, only to immediately swallow a mouthful of dust.

“……”顾景珩想死的心都有了。
"..." Gu Jingheng felt like he wanted to die.

转头看向林鹿，她竟然还一副很享受的样子。
Turning to look at Lin Lu, she actually seemed to be enjoying herself.

林鹿：吹风呢。
Lin Lu: Just feeling the breeze.

顾景珩：呵。
Gu Jingheng: Hmph.

这就是所谓的，和喜欢的人在一起，做什么都很快乐？
Is this what they call—being happy doing anything as long as you're with someone you like?

但是他不快乐呀，他快不行了。
But he's not happy, he's about to die.

但没办法。
But there's no way.

他忍。
He endured.

五分钟后。
Five minutes later.

顾景珩感觉有什么东西，就快要冲破喉咙了。
Gu Jingheng felt something was about to burst out of his throat.

想让林鹿停车，但又担心她趁机拉长和自己的相处时间。
He wanted to ask Lin Lu to stop the car, but he was worried she might take the opportunity to prolong their time together.

就烦。
Annoying.

正在这时，拖拉机前方，出现了一个骑马的熟悉身影。
At that very moment, a familiar figure on horseback appeared ahead of the tractor.

是宋念念。
It was Song Niannian.

顾景珩想都不想，顿时大喊，“停车！”
Without a second thought, Gu Jingheng immediately shouted, "Stop!"

“快——”
"Hurry—"

林鹿一脚油门，顾景珩手没抓稳，直接飞了出去。
Lin Lu stepped on the gas, and Gu Jingheng, failing to hold on tight, was flung out.

林鹿眼疾手快，一把将他抓了回来。
Lin Lu reacted swiftly, grabbing him back in the nick of time.

顾景珩顿时大喊，“啊啊啊放开我！”
Gu Jingheng immediately screamed, "Ahhh! Let me go!"

林鹿：“……OK。”
Lin Lu: "...OK."

成全他。
Grant his wish.

于是。
Thus.

“咚！”的一声，顾景珩落在宋念念骑着的马的脚边。
With a "thud!", Gu Jingheng landed right beside the horse Song Niannian was riding.

马：吓我一跳。
Horse: You scared me.

宋念念正在宝马上哭，哭着哭着，听到牵马的人‘呀！’的一声。
Song Niannian was crying in the BMW, and as she wept, she suddenly heard the person leading the horse exclaim, "Ah!"

她抹了把眼泪，低头一看。
She wiped her tears and looked down.

地上顾景珩刚好抬头看向她。
On the ground, Gu Jingheng happened to look up at her.

四目相对，宋念念感动得一塌糊涂，果然，顾景珩还是太爱她了。
Their eyes met, and Song Niannian was overwhelmed with emotion—indeed, Gu Jingheng still loved her deeply.

不顾一切的来找她，好幸福。
He came to her without hesitation, and she felt utterly blissful.

“景珩~”
"Jingheng~"

顾景珩也深深回望着她，想答应她一声。
Gu Jingheng gazed back at her intently, wanting to respond to her call.

然而，实在抵挡不住胃里的翻江倒海。
However, I simply couldn't resist the churning in my stomach.

顾景珩刚一张嘴，顿时“哇~”的一声，吐了出来。
Gu Jingheng had just opened his mouth when suddenly, "Whoa~" he vomited.

宋念念：？？？
Song Niannian: ???

马：艹，半分钟吓我两跳。
Horse: Damn, scaring me twice in half a minute.

宋念念撒到一半的娇，撒不下去了，变声了一句僵硬的“景珩，你……你怎么了？”
Song Niannian's coquettish act halfway through faltered, turning into a stiff utterance, "Jingheng, you... what's wrong with you?"

顾景珩很尴尬。
Gu Jingheng was extremely embarrassed.

他一边吐，一边虚弱的说：
While vomiting, he weakly said:

“我没事。”
"I'm fine."

宋念念：“……”
Song Niannian: "..."

她犹豫了几秒钟的时间，硬着头皮对牵马的人说。
She hesitated for a few seconds before mustering the courage to speak to the person holding the horse.

“麻烦你扶我一下，我下去看看他。”
"Could you help me down? I want to go check on him."

顾景珩急忙右手往前一伸，阻止道，“不用！”
Gu Jingheng quickly reached out his right hand to stop her, saying, "No need!"

“我没事。”他说。
"I'm fine," he said.

然后，他坚强的从地上起来。
Then, he stood up from the ground with strength.

“楚老师呢？”
"Where is Teacher Chu?"

宋念念心中的委屈，一下子蔓延开来。
The grievances in Song Niannian's heart suddenly spread uncontrollably.

“他，他先走了……”
"He... he left first..."

顾景珩说，“没事，我陪你。”
Gu Jingheng said, "It's alright, I'll stay with you."

说着，他吃力的爬上马背，将宋念念圈在怀里，说，“我保护你。”
As he spoke, he struggled onto the horse's back, encircling Song Niannian in his arms, and said, "I'll protect you."

两人的cp粉在弹幕一阵尖叫。
The couple's fans in the barrage screamed excitedly.

【啊啊啊好甜。】
【Ahhh so sweet.】

【好宠啊好宠啊！】
【So doting, so doting!】

【念景夫妇果然是真的。】
【The Nian-Jing couple is indeed real.】

……

宋念念更是感动得不行。
Song Niannian was even more deeply moved.

然而就在这时。
However, at that very moment.

一旁的拖拉机‘轰~’的一声，冲了出去。
With a loud "vroom~," the tractor beside them suddenly sped off.

顾景珩下意识往宋念念背后一躲。
Gu Jingheng instinctively hid behind Song Niannian.

宋念念吃了一嘴的尾气：“……”
Song Niannian got a mouthful of exhaust fumes: "..."

顾景珩：“驾~”
Gu Jingheng: "Giddy up~"

哦豁，宋念念满脸都是灰。
Oh no, Song Niannian's face was covered in dust.

更要命的是，顾景珩刚吐过，他身上有股酸臭味。
Even worse, Gu Jingheng had just vomited, and he carried a sour stench.

于是，宋念念被臭吐了。
So, Song Niannian got vomited on.

【啊？姐姐晕马了？】
[Huh? Did sister get motion sickness from the horse?]

【念景夫妇实惨QAQ】
[The Nian-Jing couple really have it rough QAQ]

马：我不惨？
Ma: Am I not suffering?

……
......

另一边。
On the other side.

楚江宴正在策马奔腾，他的粉丝正在直播间疯狂尖叫舔屏。
Chu Jiangyan was galloping on horseback, his fans screaming and fawning over him in the live stream.

突然，身后传来轰隆隆的声音。
Suddenly, a rumbling sound came from behind.

楚江宴下意识转头一看，林鹿驾驶着拖拉机而来。
Chu Jiangyan instinctively turned his head and saw Lin Lu driving a tractor toward him.

他正准备打个招呼。
He was just about to greet her.

“轰~”
"Boom~"

拖拉机顺利完成超车，轰轰烈烈的走远了。
The tractor successfully completed the overtaking and rumbled away in a grand manner.

楚江宴吃了一嘴的尾气。
Chu Jiangyan got a mouthful of exhaust fumes.

“……”
"……"

正在这时，脑子里响起‘叮’的一声。
At that very moment, a "ding" sound rang in my mind.

[宿主宿主，您的出圈神图已经出了。]
[Host, host, your viral masterpiece has gone viral.]

楚江宴：？？
Chu Jiangyan: ??

“所以我吃了一嘴尾气，吃出圈了？”
"So I ended up eating a mouthful of exhaust fumes and it went viral?"

[不是啦不是啦，很美的，我先保个密，晚点宿主自己看吧。]
[No no, it's beautiful! I'll keep it a secret for now—you'll see for yourself later, host.]

楚江宴：“……”
Chu Jiangyan: "..."

……

林鹿开着拖拉机，轰轰烈烈的拿下了第一名的好成绩。
Lin Lu drove the tractor and spectacularly secured the first-place victory.

本来心情还挺好的。
Originally, her mood was quite good.

可刚停好拖拉机，脑子里就是一声“叮！”
But just as she parked the tractor, a "ding!" sounded in her mind.

[触发新任务：让一名女嘉宾为您心跳加速。]
[New mission triggered: Make a female guest's heart race for you.]

林鹿：“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

人干事？
Is this even humanly possible?

无力吐槽，真的。
I'm speechless, really.

霸总系统：[宿主加油。]
Domineering CEO System: [You can do it, host.]

加你***
Add you***

刚跳下车，身后就传来了马蹄声。
Just as I jumped off the carriage, the sound of hooves came from behind.

楚江宴策马奔腾而来，老远，林鹿就看见了他翘起的嘴角。
Chu Jiangyan came galloping on horseback, and from afar, Lin Lu could already see the corners of his lips curled up.

春风满面的。
Beaming with joy.

林鹿心想，肯定是人家的系统干人事，所以人家比较顺利。
Lin Lu thought to herself, it must be because their system actually works properly, so things go smoothly for them.

心情也好。
Her mood improved as well.

霸总系统：听不见。
The Domineering CEO System: Can't hear you.

“突突”的声音传来，彭怦和沈今梨骑着摩托车，抵达目的地。
The sound of "putt-putt" echoed as Peng Peng and Shen Jinli arrived at their destination on a motorcycle.

彭怦没想到，拿到自己擅长的交通工具，竟然才得了个第三名。
Peng Peng didn't expect to only get third place despite using his best mode of transportation.

主要是路不好走，中途摔了一跤。
The main reason was the rough road—he took a tumble halfway through.

这么想着，他就打算在终点秀一秀车技。
With that in mind, he decided to show off his riding skills at the finish line.

摩托本来都停好了，沈今梨都准备下车了。
The motorcycle had already been parked, and Shen Jinli was about to get off.

彭怦突然冒出来一句。
Peng Peng suddenly blurted out.

“我来秀一个。”
"Let me show off a trick."

沈今梨：“啊？”
Shen Jinli: "Huh?"

摩托车突然翘头起步，沈今梨猝不及防，直接摔下。
The motorcycle suddenly lifted its front wheel and started moving, catching Shen Jinli off guard, causing her to fall directly off.

一瞬间，她心跳都几乎停了。
In an instant, her heart almost stopped beating.

心里就一个想法，完了。
Only one thought crossed her mind: it's over.

然而，就在即将落地之时，一只手及时伸了过来，拉起了她。
Yet, just as she was about to hit the ground, a hand reached out in time and pulled her up.

彭怦完全没注意到这个小插曲，他甚至没察觉到摩托后座的人不在了，还一个劲的在那里秀车技。
Peng Peng was completely unaware of this little incident. He didn't even notice the person on the back of the motorcycle was gone, still showing off his riding skills with all his might.

【彭怦也太过分了，完全不顾梨子死活了是吗？】
【Peng Peng is really too much, completely disregarding Li Zi's well-being, isn't he?】

【啊，我真的想骂人了，彭怦有病吧？】
【Ah, I really want to swear, is Peng Peng out of his mind?】

【emmm……太下头了，真的】
【Emmm... That's so cringe, seriously.】

【没那么夸张吧，彭哥也只是想秀车技而已，又不是故意的。】
【It's not that exaggerated. Brother Peng just wanted to show off his driving skills, it wasn't intentional.】

【对啊，这就是个意外。】
【Yeah, it was just an accident.】

【意外也是本可以避免的意外呀！】
【An accident is still an avoidable accident!】

【真的太危险了，如果没有林鹿，梨子已经受伤了。】
【It was truly dangerous. If it weren't for Lin Lu, Li Zi would have been injured.】

……

两家粉丝吵得不可开交。
Fans from both sides were arguing fiercely.

完全忘记了，十多分钟前，他们还在嗑cp。
They completely forgot that just over ten minutes ago, they were still shipping the couple.

而现场。
Meanwhile, at the scene.

彭怦秀了一圈，竟然没听到任何欢呼声。
Peng Peng showed off his moves, but surprisingly, he didn't hear any cheers.

他回到原地，疑惑的看向沈今梨，却顿时一喜。
Returning to his spot, he looked at Shen Jinli in confusion, only to suddenly feel delighted.

“阿梨妹妹，你脸怎么红了？”
"Sister Ali, why is your face red?"

沈今梨满脑子都是林鹿。
Shen Jinli's mind was completely filled with Lin Lu.

“我……我不知道啊。”
"I... I don't know."

……啊啊啊，姐姐又美又帅，又霸道。
...Ahhh, sister is so beautiful and handsome, and so domineering.

她哪里顶得住啊？
How could she possibly resist?

第10章 他也有点嗑到怎么讲？
Chapter 10: How to Say He's Also Kind of Into It?

林鹿刚走到恋爱小屋门口。
Lin Lu had just arrived at the doorstep of the Love Cottage.

[叮！恭喜宿主完成任务。]
[Ding! Congratulations, host, on completing the task.]

她：？
She: ?

完成了？
Done?

疑惑的转头一看。
Turned around in confusion to look.

沈今梨一脸娇羞的看着她。
Shen Jinli was looking at her with a bashful expression.

林鹿：？？
Lin Lu: ??

[恭喜宿主获得奖励：霸总的性张力。]
[Congratulations, host, you have received the reward: The Sex Appeal of a Domineering CEO.]

“……”
"......"

“霸总的银行卡余额到底什么时候来？”
"When will the domineering CEO's bank balance arrive?"

[信号不太好。]
[The signal isn't very good.]

“……”
"……"

耗时一个小时，六名嘉宾终于全部抵达恋爱小屋。
After an hour, all six guests finally arrived at the love cabin.

大家都累得够呛，且情绪都不高。
Everyone was exhausted and in low spirits.

导演组只能先安排休息时间。
The director team had no choice but to arrange a break first.

嘉宾们各自回房间休息。
The guests returned to their respective rooms to rest.

房间里都有摄像头，但嘉宾可以自行选择打开或者关闭。
Each room was equipped with cameras, but the guests could choose to turn them on or off at their own discretion.

六名嘉宾非常默契，全员选择了关闭。
The six guests were remarkably in sync, unanimously opting to turn them off.

于是，网友们只能嗷嗷哭着，去网上嗑了。
Consequently, netizens could only wail in frustration and resort to online discussions to satisfy their cravings.

楚江宴到了房间后，那个绿茶系统就一直催他看出圈神图。
After Chu Jiangyan arrived at the room, the green tea system kept urging him to check out the viral sensation photos.

无奈，他只得登录微博，去看看自己到底是怎么美上热搜的。
Helpless, he had no choice but to log into Weibo to see how his looks had actually trended.

对于一个靠演技的男演员，因美貌上热搜，这简直……
For a male actor who relies on his acting skills, trending for his appearance is just...

“系统，这真的很难评。”
"System, this is really hard to judge."

[不会啊不会啊！]绿茶系统很激动，[真的超有感觉的呢。]
[No way, no way!] The Green Tea System was very excited, [It's really super impressive!]

[宿主你快看呀快看呀。]
[Host, look quickly, look quickly!]

楚江宴：“……”
Chu Jiangyan: "..."

楚江宴打开热搜榜，却发现热搜第一并不是自己名字。
Chu Jiangyan opened the trending list, only to find that the top trending topic wasn't his name.

“出圈神图都配不上一个热搜第一吗？”
"Doesn't a breakout viral image deserve the top trending spot?"

他心想，果然是吃了一嘴尾气出圈。
He thought to himself, indeed, he ended up choking on exhaust fumes while going viral.

[是第一的呀，你快点开呀，啊啊啊……]
[It is number one, hurry up and click on it, ahhh...]

楚江宴挑眉，点开榜首的帖子：
Chu Jiangyan raised an eyebrow and clicked on the top-ranked post:

#这种破次元壁的感觉谁懂啊啊啊！！#
#Who understands this feeling of breaking through dimensional walls ahhh!!#

看到上面的照片时，眼睛顿时一亮。
When I saw the photo above, my eyes instantly lit up.

而绿茶系统已经激动得心跳加速了。
The Green Tea System was already so excited its heartbeat accelerated.

——如果它有心的话。
—If it even had a heart, that is.

[怎么样怎么样？我就说不错吧？]
[How about it? Didn't I tell you it was good?]

楚江宴给了它一个肯定的大拇指。
Chu Jiangyan gave it a thumbs-up of approval.

“但我没想到，出圈神图还能是双人合照。”
"But I never expected that the viral breakout photo would be a duo shot."

绿茶系统说，[这确实是宿主您今天最有感觉的一张照片呢。]
The Green Tea System said, [This is indeed the photo where you looked most natural today, Host.]

楚江宴赞同。
Chu Jiangyan agreed.

那是一张他和林鹿的合照。
It was a group photo of him and Lin Lu.

照片里，他身骑骏马，英姿飒爽，蓦然回首看向她。
In the photo, he was riding a fine horse, looking dashing and heroic, suddenly turning back to gaze at her.

她正驾驶着拖拉机，单手握着方向盘，霸气十足。
She was driving a tractor, gripping the steering wheel with one hand, exuding an air of dominance.

两人视线交汇，有种一眼万年的感觉。
Their gazes met, creating a feeling as if a single glance spanned eternity.

评论区直接炸了。
The comment section exploded instantly.

【啊啊啊，这两张脸真的绝了。】
[Ahhh, these two faces are absolutely stunning.]

【两种完全不同风格的美，但都是顶级的美，我真的嗑到了！】
[Two completely different styles of beauty, yet both are top-tier—I'm totally shipping them!]

【破次元了啊啊啊！】
【Breaking through dimensions, ahhh!】

【从没想过我男神会这么快被抱走，但如果对方是霸道乞丐，那好吧我同意了。】
【Never imagined my idol would be taken away so soon, but if it's by the domineering beggar, then fine, I approve.】

【从未想过这两张脸竟然这么配，我嗑了。】
【Never thought these two faces would match so well, I'm shipping them.】

【我已经嗑拉了。】
【I'm already shipping them hard.】

……

楚江宴：抱一丝，嘴角有点难压。
Chu Jiangyan: Sorry, can't help but smile.

他也有点嗑到怎么讲？
He's also a bit high, how should I put it?

……
......

另一个房间里。
In another room.

林鹿躺在床上，昏昏欲睡。
Lin Lu lay on the bed, drowsy.

霸总系统突然出声，[宿主，你又上热搜了。]
The domineering CEO system suddenly spoke up, [Host, you're trending again.]

林鹿说，“这不是很正常吗？”
Lin Lu said, "Isn't that pretty normal?"

[和楚江宴一起上的。]
[You're trending together with Chu Jiangyan.]

“嗯？”
"Hmm?"

[你们都有cp粉了？]
[You guys already have shipping fans?]

？

[还有cp名呢。]
[There's even a ship name.]

“什么？”林鹿心想：疯了吗？
"What?" Lin Lu thought: Are you crazy?

霸总系统：[你猜猜粉丝给你们取了什么cp名？]
The Domineering CEO System: [Guess what ship name the fans gave you?]

“不感兴趣。”
"Not interested."

可是霸总系统完全憋不住：[江湖鹿人。]
But the domineering CEO system couldn't hold back at all: [Jianghu Deer Person.]

林鹿：“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

就很无聊。
It was utterly boring.

然而，网友们一点都不觉得无聊。
Yet, netizens didn't find it boring at all.

他们越嗑，就越上头。
The more they shipped it, the more obsessed they became.

【眼神拉丝了都。】
【Their eyes are practically glued to each other.】

【谁懂啊，光看眼神，楚影帝就超宠的。】
【Who understands? Just from their gaze alone, you can see how much Chu Yingdi adores her.】

【我追剧经常看到演员嘴都啃肿了，还看不出深情，可他们就一眼，就一眼啊！】
【I often watch dramas where actors' lips get swollen from kissing, yet you still can't feel the passion. But with them, just one glance, just one glance!】

【明天让他们组个队，求求了。】
【Let them team up tomorrow, please, I beg you.】

【好想看他俩合作啊啊啊！】
【I really want to see them collaborate ahhh!】

……

宋念念一整个崩溃。
Song Niannian was completely devastated.

本来已经各种不顺了，没想到连经纪人给她安排的热搜，都被挤了下去。
Everything had already been going wrong, and to make matters worse, even the trending topic her agent arranged for her got pushed down.

更要命的是，竟然有人嗑林鹿和楚江宴。
What's worse, some people are actually shipping Lin Lu and Chu Jiangyan.

还火速成立了cp超话。
They even quickly created a CP fan page.

毛病吧？
Are they out of their minds?

宋念念气得跳脚，却还要在镜头前强颜欢笑。
Song Niannian was so furious she could stomp her feet, but she still had to force a smile in front of the camera.

短短半小时的休息时间很快过去，导演把大家集合在一起。
The short half-hour break quickly passed, and the director gathered everyone together.

“出发之前就说过，最后到达的一组，要接受处罚。”
"We said before setting off that the last group to arrive would face punishment."

“有两组都没有按组行动，而最后抵达的两个人是顾景珩和宋念念。”
"Two groups didn't stick together, and the last two to arrive were Gu Jingheng and Song Niannian."

“那么，你们俩需要接受处罚哦。”
"So, you two will need to accept the punishment."

宋念念实在笑不出来了。
Song Niannian couldn't muster a smile anymore.

顾景珩还在撑着，“什么惩罚。”
Gu Jingheng was still holding on, "What punishment?"

导演说，“今晚的晚饭，由你们俩负责。”
The director said, "Tonight's dinner is your responsibility, both of you."

其他嘉宾自由活动。
The other guests are free to do as they please.

宋念念：（╯‵□′）╯︵┴─┴
Song Niannian: (╯‵□′)╯︵┴─┴

宋念念正在削土豆，就听见客厅那边，沈今梨在惊呼。
Song Niannian was peeling potatoes when she heard Shen Jinli exclaiming in surprise from the living room.

“真的有！真的。”
"There really is! Really."

“超有！”cp感。
"Super strong!" CP vibes.

有什么？
What is it?

宋念念很好奇，她故意换了个位置削洋芋。
Song Niannian was very curious, so she deliberately changed her position to peel the potatoes.

然后，就看见导演更加兴奋的走了过去，说。
Then, she saw the director walk over even more excitedly and say,

“林鹿，楚江宴，你们两个来。”
"Lin Lu, Chu Jiangyan, both of you come here."

他拿了个什么东西给他们看，然后叽叽咕咕说了些什么。
He showed them something and then muttered a few words.

周围其他嘉宾和工作人员好像都很兴奋。
The other guests and staff around seem very excited.

一个个满是吃瓜的表情。
Everyone's face is full of gossipy expressions.

宋念念：？
Song Niannian: ?

干嘛呢到底？
What on earth is going on?

客厅。
Living room.

林鹿站起来就把楚江宴壁咚到了墙上。
Lin Lu stood up and immediately pinned Chu Jiangyan against the wall.

导演：啊？
Director: Huh?

其他人：哇哦！
Others: Wow!

导演摆摆手，“不是……是楚老师，啊林老师也行吧。”
The director waved his hand, "No... it's Teacher Chu, or well, Teacher Lin would do."

“继续，你们继续。”
"Go on, keep going."

好像还怪有感觉的的说。
It actually feels kinda nice, you know.

楚江宴脸有点红，一双眼睛看着林鹿。
Chu Jiangyan's face turned slightly red as he gazed at Lin Lu.

‘可怜巴巴’的语气：“鹿姐求你了，放过我家人吧。”
In a pitiful tone: "Sister Lu, I beg you, spare my family."

林鹿冷漠的看着楚江宴。
Lin Lu looked coldly at Chu Jiangyan.

楚江宴眼眶微红，“求你了，只要你放过我家人，让我做什么都行。”
Chu Jiangyan's eyes were slightly red. "Please, as long as you spare my family, I'll do anything."

林鹿伸手捏住他下巴，“哦？是吗？”
Lin Lu reached out and pinched his chin. "Oh? Is that so?"

“真的做什么都行吗？“
"Really, anything at all?"

不出意外的话，所有人都以为，楚江宴会像偶像剧里的女主那样，紧张到说不出话，眼泪巴巴落下。
If nothing unexpected happened, everyone would have thought that Chu Jiangyan would be like the female lead in an idol drama, too nervous to speak, with tears streaming down her face.

可是，出意外了。
But something unexpected did happen.

楚江宴没有紧张到说不出话，他嘴一张，众目睽睽之下，来了句：
Chu Jiangyan wasn't too nervous to speak. Instead, in front of everyone, he opened his mouth and said:

“求你疼 我。”
"Please, cherish me."

林鹿：“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

导演：！！！
Director: !!!

众人：！！！
Everyone: !!!

【神特么的求你疼 我啊啊啊！】
[Damn it, I beg you to cherish me ahhh!]

【楚江宴你够了！】
[Chu Jiangyan, enough is enough!]

【啊啊啊，这突如其来的车……】
【Ahhhh, this sudden steamy scene...】

【妈耶，车轱辘从我脸上碾过去了！】
【Holy moly, the wheels just ran over my face!】

【我死了我死了我死了……】
【I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead...】

【这是能免费看的吗？】
【Is this really free to watch?】

【充会员，我充会员……】
["I'll get a membership, I'll get a membership..."]

……
......

弹幕直接一整个嗑疯。
The barrage comments went absolutely wild.

然而现场——
Yet at the scene—

林鹿往楚江宴手里塞了瓶酸奶。
Lin Lu shoved a bottle of yogurt into Chu Jiangyan's hand.

弹幕有点懵。
The barrage was a bit confused.

【？？？】

【啥？】
【Huh?】

现场。
On the scene.

其他嘉宾和工作人员齐声：
Other guests and staff in unison:

“哇~她真的好疼他哦！”
"Wow~ She really dotes on him!"

“疼他，就给他买XXX酸奶。”
"Dote on him? Then buy him XXX yogurt."

弹幕一整个变脸：
The barrage completely changed its tone:

【艹……】
[Damn...]

【啊，我特么裤子都脱了，你跟我说是广告！】
[Ah, I was all ready for action, and you tell me it's an ad!]

【过分了过分了……】
[Too much, too much...]

……

楚江宴吸了一大口酸奶。
Chu Jiangyan took a big sip of yogurt.

一脸娇羞：“xxx酸奶，酸酸甜甜的，好好喝~”
With a bashful expression: "xxx yogurt, so sweet and tangy, it's delicious~"

【……】

【楚江宴你够了！！！】
【Chu Jiangyan, enough is enough!!!】

【就算是广告，我也接受不了，男神你变了。】
【Even if it's an ad, I can't accept it. My idol, you've changed.】

【哈哈哈哈，原来你这么闷骚啊？】
【Hahaha, so you're actually this secretly wild?】

【啊啊啊，为什么我好喜欢。】
【Ahhh, why do I love this so much?】

【小娇妻既视感，嗑死我了！】
【The vibe of a delicate young wife, I'm totally shipping them!】

【好吧，广告也很好看。】
【Alright, the commercial was pretty good too.】

……

现场。
On the scene.

人群中不知道谁没忍住，“噗~”的一声。
Someone in the crowd couldn't hold back and let out a "Pfft~".

全员笑场。
Everyone burst into laughter.

突然。
Suddenly.

“咚！”
"Thud!"

厨房里，顾景珩在剁排骨。
In the kitchen, Gu Jingheng was chopping ribs.

巨大声：
Loudly:

“咚咚咚！”
"Bang bang bang!"

第11章 鱼丸都快气炸了
Chapter 11: Fish Ball Was Fuming with Rage

时间来到了晚上八点钟。
The time had come to eight o'clock in the evening.

所有人都饿得前胸贴后背了，那两个负责做饭的，愣是没端出来一个菜。
Everyone was so hungry they could feel their backbones pressing against their stomachs, yet those two in charge of cooking hadn't managed to serve a single dish.

沈今梨实在饿得慌。
Shen Jinli was truly starving.

“我去厨房看看需不需要帮忙吧。”
"I'll go to the kitchen to see if they need any help."

“我和你一起。”彭怦说。
"I'll go with you," Peng Peng said.

沈今梨，“那大家一起吧。”
Shen Jinli, "Then let's all go together."

她很自然的拉上林鹿。
She naturally took Lin Lu's hand.

楚江宴屁颠屁颠就跟上了。
Chu Jiangyan eagerly trotted along after them.

进厨房一看，倒是有点出乎意料。
Stepping into the kitchen, the sight was somewhat unexpected.

灶台上已经装了七八个菜了，虽然除了水煮虾，其他菜都不太看得出来是什么。
The stove was already laden with seven or eight dishes, though apart from the boiled shrimp, it was hard to tell what the others were.

宋念念见到众人，急忙开口。
Upon seeing everyone, Song Niannian hurriedly spoke up.

“就最后一个菜了。”
"Just one more dish."

顾景珩说：“还有一会儿。”
Gu Jingheng said, "It'll take a little longer."

宋念念，“已经好了，可以了。”
Song Niannian, "It's already done, it's ready."

两人意见似乎不统一。
The two seemed to disagree.

大家纷纷看向锅里。
Everyone turned their gaze toward the pot.

彭怦：“咦……这是什么菜？”
Peng Peng: "Hmm... what dish is this?"

宋念念说，“炖菜，有排骨，有菜，还有鱼丸虾丸，我做的。”
Song Niannian replied, "It's a stew—with ribs, vegetables, fish balls, and shrimp balls. I made it."

一脸自豪的样子。
She looked quite proud.

楚江宴说：“好厉害。”
Chu Jiangyan said, "That's impressive."

宋念念一喜。
Song Niannian was delighted.

然而下一秒钟，却听楚江宴道。
Yet the next second, Chu Jiangyan added.

“这么多东西一起炖，菜都化了排骨还没熟。”
"With so many ingredients stewed together, the vegetables have turned mushy while the ribs aren't even cooked yet."

宋念念：“……”
Song Nian Nian: "..."

“最惨的是鱼丸，都快气炸了。”
"The most miserable one is Fish Ball, he's practically fuming with anger."

“鱼丸？”彭怦震惊得瞪大了眼睛：
"Fish Ball?" Peng Peng widened his eyes in shock:

“那不是狮子头吗？”
"Isn't that Lion's Head?"

宋念念：“……”
Song Niannian: "..."

【哈哈哈确实更像狮子头。】
[Hahaha, it really does look more like a lion's head.]

【哈哈哈，别说，你真别说。】
[Hahaha, don't say it, really don't say it.]

【笑死我了，鱼丸都快气炸了是什么鬼？】
[I'm dying of laughter, what's with the fish balls almost exploding from anger?]

【该说不说，那鱼丸怪可怜的，气成啥样了都？】
【Gotta say, that fish ball looks so pitiful, how angry did it get?】

【蔬菜都化了不可怜？】
["Aren't the melted vegetables pitiful?"]

【哈哈哈鱼丸：烫死老子了，当狮子头炖吗？】
["Hahaha Fish Balls: It's boiling me alive, are we making lion's head stew?"]

【蔬菜：呜呜……我都快碎了。】
["Vegetables: Sob... I'm almost falling apart."]

【不行了不行了，我鼻涕都笑出来了。】
["I can't take it anymore, I'm laughing so hard my nose is running."]

……

弹幕笑成一片，现场嘉宾也纷纷被逗笑。
The barrage of comments erupted in laughter, and the on-site guests were also amused.

宋念念则是一脸尴尬，强烈狡辩：“鱼丸是冷冻的，就是要多煮一下啦。”
Song Niannian, however, looked embarrassed and strongly defended herself, "The fish balls are frozen, so they need to be boiled longer."

“排骨也熟了，可以起锅了。”
"The ribs are done too, you can take them out now."

顾景珩本来想说好像还没熟，话到嘴边又变成了。
Gu Jingheng originally wanted to say it didn't seem fully cooked yet, but the words on the tip of his tongue changed to.

“闻着就好香，不愧是念念的拿手菜。”
"It smells amazing, no wonder it's Niannian's signature dish."

楚江宴：“那你多吃点。”
Chu Jiangyan: "Then eat more."

顾景珩：“……”就你有嘴是吧？
Gu Jingheng: "..." Do you have to say everything?

……

吃饭之前，工作人员抱过来一箱赞助商的牛奶。
Before the meal, the staff brought over a box of sponsor's milk.

嘉宾们一见牛奶，脑子里全是楚江宴那句‘求你疼我’。
As soon as the guests saw the milk, their minds were filled with Chu Jiangyan's plea, "Please be gentle with me."

于是，大家纷纷朝林鹿伸手。
Thus, everyone reached out towards Lin Lu.

“林老师，求你疼我一下。”
"Teacher Lin, please be gentle with me."

“也疼我一下，求你。”
"Be gentle with me too, please."

林鹿：“……”
Lin Lu: "..."

她递了两瓶给沈今梨，沈今梨分了一瓶给她旁边的彭怦。
She handed two bottles to Shen Jinli, who passed one to Peng Peng beside her.

林鹿又递了一瓶给楚江宴。
Lin Lu also handed a bottle to Chu Jiangyan.

第四瓶，她自己戳开喝。
The fourth bottle, she poked it open and drank it herself.

顾景珩脸色顿时一沉。
Gu Jingheng's face immediately darkened.

他还伸着手呢，林鹿看不见吗？
He was still holding out his hand—could Lin Lu not see it?

顾景珩手指在桌上敲了敲。
Gu Jingheng tapped his fingers on the table.

林鹿没有一点反应。
Lin Lu didn't react at all.

他脸更黑了，“林鹿。”
His face darkened further. "Lin Lu."

林鹿白了他一眼，“有事？”
Lin Lu shot him a glare. "What do you want?"

顾景珩：“牛奶，给我一瓶啊。”
Gu Jingheng: "Milk, give me a bottle."

“你没手？”
"You don't have hands?"

顾景珩脸都绿了。
Gu Jingheng's face turned green with anger.

宋念念急忙趁机站起来，走过去拿了两瓶，递给顾景珩一瓶。
Song Niannian quickly seized the opportunity to stand up, walked over to grab two bottles, and handed one to Gu Jingheng.

然后还给他夹了块排骨。
Then she even picked up a piece of spare rib for him.

“景珩你快尝尝我的排骨。”
"Jingheng, try my ribs quickly."

顾景珩狠狠瞪了林鹿一眼，故意说道，“这排骨我砍的，你煮的。”
Gu Jingheng glared fiercely at Lin Lu and deliberately said, "I chopped these ribs, and you cooked them."

宋念念：“嗯嗯。”
Song Niannian: "Mhm, mhm."

顾景珩咬了一口排骨，“好……”硬。
Gu Jingheng took a bite of the ribs. "Good..." Hard.

宋念念看着他，一脸期待。
Song Niannian looked at him with an expectant expression.

“怎么样？”
"How is it?"

顾景珩点点头，说，“好吃。”
Gu Jingheng nodded and said, "Delicious."

cp粉嗑疯了。
The CP fans went wild.

【果然念景夫妇是真的。】
【Indeed, the Nian-Jing couple is real.】

【虽然中途有一点小插曲，但他们还是很相爱的呜呜……】
【Although there was a minor hiccup along the way, they still love each other so much, wuwu...】

【吃块排骨都这么甜啊啊啊！】
【Even sharing a piece of spare ribs is so sweet, aahhh!】

……

却没注意到，顾景珩一边嚼排骨，一边盯着林鹿。
Without noticing, Gu Jingheng chewed on the ribs while staring at Lin Lu.

林鹿追着他来的恋综，他这么明显的偏向宋念念，林鹿为什么不吃醋？
Lin Lu followed him to this dating show. With him being so obviously partial to Song Niannian, why isn't Lin Lu jealous?

还在装？
Still pretending?

欲擒故纵？
Playing hard to get?

果然，林鹿朝他看了过来。
Sure enough, Lin Lu looked over at him.

顾景珩：呵。
Gu Jingheng: Hmph.

林鹿：“好肉，你多吃点。”
Lin Lu: "This meat is good, have some more."

果然，还在乎他呢。
Indeed, she still cares about him.

顾景珩有点得意。
Gu Jingheng felt somewhat smug.

呵，女人。
Hmph, women.

不经意低头一看，脸色顿时大变。
He casually glanced down, and his expression immediately changed drastically.

他碗里，剩下的那半块排骨上，血水冒了出来。
In his bowl, blood seeped out from the remaining half piece of spare rib.

顾景珩：“！！！”
Gu Jingheng: "!!!"

怎么办？嘴里那半块，还要不要咽下去了？
What to do? Should I swallow the remaining half in my mouth or not?

正犹豫着，就听对面的楚江宴一声：“哇哦！”
While hesitating, he heard Chu Jiangyan across from him exclaim: "Wow!"

他笑呵呵的看着顾景珩。
He looked at Gu Jingheng with a cheerful smile.

“顾老师你可真是与众不同哦，排骨都喜欢吃五成熟的。”
"Professor Gu, you're truly one of a kind—even preferring your pork ribs medium-rare."

顾景珩：“……”
Gu Jingheng: "..."

该死的！
Damn it!

他一咬牙，咽了。
He gritted his teeth and swallowed it.

“还不错啊，你们尝尝。”
"Not bad at all, you guys should try it."

其他嘉宾纷纷摇头。
The other guests all shook their heads.

“不了不了。”
"No, no."

尝不了一点。
Can't even try a bit.

楚江宴直接把一大盆排骨往顾景珩面前一放。
Chu Jiangyan directly placed a large pot of spare ribs in front of Gu Jingheng.

“都是你的，慢慢吃。”
"It's all yours, take your time eating."

顾景珩：“……”
Gu Jingheng: "..."

他实在忍不了，“楚老师你这是什么意思？”
He couldn't hold back any longer, "Teacher Chu, what do you mean by this?"

“我关心你呀，”楚江宴说。
"I'm concerned about you," Chu Jiangyan said.

“你不是爱吃吗？爱吃就多吃点。”
"You love eating, don't you? If you love it, then eat more."

顾景珩：“……”
Gu Jingheng: "..."

不是，他好像没惹他吧？
Wait, he didn't provoke him, did he?

这男人有病啊？
Is this guy crazy?

事情发展到这里，顾景珩也是没退路了。
At this point, Gu Jingheng had no way out.

又硬着头皮，吃了两块排骨。
He forced himself to eat two more pieces of ribs.

越嚼，口里的血腥味越重，好难受。
The more he chewed, the stronger the metallic taste of blood in his mouth became—it was unbearable.

想吐。
He wanted to vomit.

而宋念念这个罪魁祸首，竟然没替他说半句话。
And Song Niannian, the culprit, didn't even say a single word in his defense.

也没说让他别吃，可害死他了。
She didn't tell him not to eat it either, practically killing him.

顾景珩更气了，咋滴，你做的生排骨，全让我一个人消化？
Gu Jingheng grew even angrier—what the hell? You made this raw pork, and now I'm the only one who has to deal with the consequences?

凭什么啊？
Why should I?

于是他给宋念念夹了一块排骨。
So he picked up a rib and placed it in Song Niannian's bowl.

“你也吃。”
"You have some too."

宋念念立即把排骨还给了他。
Song Niannian immediately returned the rib to him.

“我不爱吃肉，你吃，你多吃点。”
"I don't really like meat, you have it, eat more."

顾景珩气死了。
Gu Jingheng was furious.

这时。
At this moment.

餐桌对面的彭怦突然冒了出来，找存在感。
Peng Peng across the dining table suddenly popped up, seeking attention.

他剥了一个虾，放进了沈今梨碗里。
He peeled a shrimp and placed it into Shen Jinli's bowl.

“阿梨妹妹，给。”
"Here you go, Sister Ali."

沈今梨一愣。
Shen Jinli was taken aback.

彭怦又拿了只虾，一边剥虾，一边开口。
Peng Peng picked up another shrimp and began peeling it as he spoke.

“我剥虾很厉害的，我前女友，她做延长甲不方便，可她又很爱吃虾，所以每次都是我给她剥。”
"I'm really good at peeling shrimp. My ex-girlfriend had nail extensions that made it inconvenient for her, but she loved eating shrimp, so I always peeled them for her."

“剥着剥着，技术就越来越好了。”
"After peeling so many, my technique just kept getting better."

他的粉丝顿时在弹幕一阵尖叫。
His fans immediately erupted in screams across the bullet comments.

【啊啊好男人！】
[Ahhh what a great guy!]

【好贴心啊，我也想要一个这样的男朋友】
[So thoughtful, I want a boyfriend like this too]

有人提出了疑惑。
Someone raised a question.

【可是这种时候提前女友，不太好吧？】
["But isn't it inappropriate to bring up ex-girlfriends at a time like this?"]

彭怦粉丝立即回怼。
Peng Peng's fans immediately fired back.

【这有什么，谁没有过去呀？】
["What's the big deal? Everyone has a past."]

【前人栽树后人乘凉，还不乐意？】
["One sows and another reaps – and you're not happy about it?"]

网友：【……你们赢了。】
Netizen: ["...You win."]

现场。
On the scene.

沈今梨一瞬间非常尴尬。
Shen Jinli felt extremely awkward in that moment.

倒不是因为什么前女友。
Not because of any ex-girlfriend situation.

而是，在她的感情观念里，他们两个人今天才认识，还没那么熟。
But because, in her understanding of relationships, the two of them had just met today and weren't that familiar yet.

她不喜欢这么亲密的行为。
She didn't like such intimate behavior.

可是，当着直播的面，又不好不给彭怦面子。
But, with the live broadcast ongoing, it would be awkward not to give Peng Peng some face.

怎么办？
What should she do?

这虾她吃也不是，不吃也不是。
She couldn't decide whether to eat the shrimp or not.

就在她左右为难，不知道该怎么办的时候。
Just as she was caught in a dilemma, unsure of what to do.

眼前突然伸出一只手，端起那一整盘虾，放到了彭怦前面。
Suddenly, a hand reached out in front of her, picked up the entire plate of shrimp, and placed it in front of Peng Peng.

“这么会剥，那就都剥了吧。”林鹿说。
"Since you're so good at peeling, then peel them all," Lin Lu said.

楚江宴话接的飞快，“太好了，有人给我们剥虾喽。”
Chu Jiangyan responded swiftly, "Great, someone's peeling shrimp for us now."

彭怦：“……”
Peng Peng: "..."

谁要给你们剥虾啊到底？
Who the hell wants to peel shrimp for you anyway?

不要脸！
Shameless!

第12章 爬谁的床你再说一遍？
Chapter 12: Climb whose bed? Say that again?

顾景珩和宋念念做的晚饭比猪食都难吃。
The dinner made by Gu Jingheng and Song Niannian was worse than pig slop.

出于这是综艺第一天的考虑，节目组善心大发，给大家准备了饭后点心。
Considering it was the first day of the variety show, the production team mercifully prepared some desserts for everyone.

可点心才刚上来，顾景珩就抱着肚子跑了。
But as soon as the desserts were served, Gu Jingheng clutched his stomach and ran off.

“我吃不下了，你们吃，我有点私事处理一下。”
"I can't eat anymore, you guys have it. I've got some private matters to attend to."

【私事？和马桶的悄悄话吗？】
[Personal matters? Whispering secrets to the toilet?]

弹幕一阵爆笑。
The barrage of comments erupted in laughter.

顾景珩的粉丝则心疼坏了。
Gu Jingheng's fans were heartbroken.

【该死的宋念念，我家哥哥肯定吃坏肚子了。】
[Damn Song Niannian, our brother must have eaten something bad.]

【哥哥不会有事吧？】
【Will big brother be okay?】

【哥哥很明显不舒服，竟然没人发现，我真的醉了。】
【Big brother is clearly unwell, and no one noticed. I'm really speechless.】

其他嘉宾的粉丝无语住了。
Other guests' fans were left dumbfounded.

【哎哟，你家哥哥脸好大哦，要不要供起来？】
【Oh my, your big brother has such a big face. Should we enshrine him?】

【是谁逼着他吃的？】
【Who forced him to eat it?】

……

在几家粉丝的争执中。
Amid the disputes among several fan groups.

点心时间结束。
Snack time is over.

恋爱综艺《那就恋爱吧》第一天的拍摄，也到此结束。
The first day of filming for the dating show "Let's Fall in Love" has also come to an end.

直播关闭，嘉宾可以自行支配时间，回房间休息，或者在公共区域都行。
The live broadcast is now off. Guests are free to manage their own time, whether to return to their rooms to rest or stay in the common areas.

三位女嘉宾的房间在三楼，男嘉宾的房间在二楼。
The rooms for the three female guests are on the third floor, while the male guests' rooms are on the second floor.

直播结束，林鹿正准备上楼。
The live stream ended, and Lin Lu was just about to head upstairs.

突然。
Suddenly.

熟悉的电子音猝不及防的在脑海里响起。
A familiar electronic tone abruptly rang out in her mind.

[叮！触发新任务：让一名女嘉宾为你辗转反侧，彻夜未眠。]
[Ding! New task triggered: Make a female guest toss and turn, unable to sleep all night because of you.]

[限时一天，请宿主尽快完成。]
[Limited to one day, please complete it as soon as possible, Host.]

林鹿：？？？
Lin Lu: ???

“什么？你让我去勾引女人，还要让人家为了我彻夜未眠？”
"What? You want me to seduce a woman and make her stay up all night for me?"

为一个人彻夜未眠，那得多爱了？
To stay up all night for someone—how deep must that love be?

还是女的？
And it's a woman?

她有这本事？
Is she capable of this?

“太离谱了好吗？”林鹿说道。
"This is just too ridiculous!" Lin Lu said.

“这才第一天，男嘉宾都不可能爱上我，更别说女嘉宾了。”
"It's only the first day. The male guests couldn't possibly have fallen for me, let alone the female ones."

[不一定哦！]系统说：
[Not necessarily!] the system said:

[据我观察，某些男嘉宾对你很感兴趣呢。]
[From what I've observed, some of the male guests seem quite interested in you.]

“你感觉错了。”
"You're mistaken."

[不可能。]
[Impossible.]

“……”
"……"

[总之……宿主多多加油，要相信自己的魅力。]
[In short... Host, keep up the good work and believe in your charm.]

没意思。
Boring.

真的没意思。
Really boring.

林鹿面无表情的往楼上走。
Lin Lu walked upstairs expressionlessly.

刚走到楼梯口，突然听见一声：
Just as I reached the stairwell, I suddenly heard a voice:

“啥？”
"What?"

转头一看，楚江宴满脸都写着震惊。
Turning his head, Chu Jiangyan's face was filled with astonishment.

但在其他嘉宾询问之后，又急忙摇摇头，“没事没事……”
But after the other guests inquired, he quickly shook his head, "It's nothing, nothing..."

林鹿懂了。
Lin Lu understood.

他肯定也接到了很离谱的任务。
He must have also received an absurd task.

好吧。
Alright.

她总算平衡点了。
She finally felt a bit more balanced.

而楚江宴，却差点以为自己耳朵出了问题。
But Chu Jiangyan almost thought there was something wrong with his ears.

“爬谁的床你再说一遍？”
"Whose bed did you say to climb?"

——我不打你。
"I won't hit you."

绿茶系统有点怕怕的，但为了业绩，它拼了。
The Green Tea System is a bit scared, but for the sake of performance, it's giving it all.

它好声好气的解释：
It explains in a gentle tone:

[是这样的宿主，我们现在落后了很多，而且对方刚接收了一个难度很大的任务。]
[Here's the thing, Host, we're way behind now, and the other side just took on a very difficult task.]

[据我观察，对方宿主好像很有把握呢。]
[From what I've observed, the other host seems quite confident.]

[所以，我们必须要努力，要弯道超车！]
[So, we must strive hard and overtake on the curves!]

[宿主你你明白我的意思吧？]
[Host, do you understand what I mean?]

楚江宴：“……”
Chu Jiangyan: "..."

“弯道超车就要让我去爬导演的床？”
"Overtaking on the curves means making me climb into the director's bed?"

“还是个男导演。”
"It's still a male director."

[意思女导演的话，你就直接爬了吗？]
[So if it were a female director, would you just bail?]

“这是重点？”
"Is that the main point?"

[我就是有点好奇啦。]
[I'm just a little curious, that's all.]

“……”
"……"

绿茶系统以为楚江宴生气了，它有点紧张，急忙说道：[宿主你先别生气。]
The Green Tea System thought Chu Jiangyan was angry, feeling a bit nervous, and quickly said: [Host, don't be angry yet.]

“我没生气。”
"I'm not angry."

[啊？]
[Huh?]

“很刺激啊。”
"That's really exciting."

绿茶系统：[??]啥？他说啥？
Green Tea System: [??] Huh? What did he say?

它真的没听错吗？
Did it really hear correctly?

“放心吧统子姐。”楚江宴道，“这个床我会好好爬的。”
"Don't worry, System Sis," Chu Jiangyan said. "I'll climb onto this bed properly."

绿茶系统：？
Green Tea System: ?

[真的吗？]
[Really?]

楚江宴：“就干爬床吗？用不用加点剧情。”
Chu Jiangyan: "Just climbing into bed? Should we add some plot?"

绿茶系统：[！！！]
Green Tea System: [!!!]

[宿主，你把我搞不会了呀。]
[Host, you've got me all confused.]

楚江宴嘻嘻一笑，说：“没事，多来几次就会了。”
Chu Jiangyan chuckled and said, "No worries, you'll get the hang of it after a few more tries."

[啊啊啊，宿主你好疯啊。]
[Ahhh, host, you're so crazy!]

楚江宴：“还好。”
Chu Jiangyan: "Not too bad."

过了会儿，他又问道：“我需要打扮的性感点不？”
After a while, he asked again, "Do I need to dress sexier?"

[不用啊啊啊！]
[No, no, no!]

“OK，我会打扮。”
"OK, I'll dress up."

绿茶系统直接傻了：o_o ....
The Green Tea System was completely dumbfounded: o_o ....

楚江宴：“那个……我要给他下药不？”
Chu Jiangyan: "Um... should I drug him?"

[不要啊不要啊！]绿茶系统这下是真的怕：
[No, no, don't do it!] The green tea system was genuinely terrified now:

[宿主，犯法的事情咱们不能干啊。]
[Host, we can't do illegal things.]

[千万不能啊！求求了。]
[Absolutely not! Please, I beg you.]

楚江宴笑了一声，说：“逗你玩的啦。”
Chu Jiangyan laughed and said, "Just teasing you."

绿茶系统：好险，差点被吓疯。
Green Tea System: That was close, almost scared me to death.

[啊啊啊！]绿茶系统在楚江宴脑子里尖叫。
[Ahhh!] The Green Tea System screamed in Chu Jiangyan's mind.

[这任宿主太疯了，我顶不住啊啊啊……]
[This host is too crazy, I can't take it anymore ahhh...]

稍微冷静下来点后，绿茶系统不由得替导演捏了把冷汗。
After calming down a bit, the Green Tea System couldn't help but break into a cold sweat for the director.

好惨一男的。
What a pitiful man.

造了什么孽哟！
What sins have you committed!

很快。
Soon.

其他嘉宾就陆续回房间了，偌大客厅，就剩下一个楚江宴。
The other guests gradually returned to their rooms, leaving only Chu Jiangyan in the vast living room.

他慵懒的靠在沙发上，脚一抖一抖的。
He lounged lazily on the sofa, his foot tapping rhythmically.

有工作人员路过，一脸惊讶的看向他。
A staff member passing by looked at him in surprise.

“楚老师，你在等人吗？”
"Mr. Chu, are you waiting for someone?"

“对。”楚江宴说，“我等导演。”
"Yes." Chu Jiangyan said, "I'm waiting for the director."

是的，导演出门去了，说是去村长家一趟，商量点事情。
Yes, the director went out, saying he was going to the village head's house to discuss some matters.

工作人员心想，楚江宴应该是要跟导演聊工作的事情。
The staff member thought that Chu Jiangyan probably wanted to talk to the director about work.

于是问道，“那我给导演打个电话，说一声？”
So he asked, "Should I call the director and let him know?"

“不用。”
"No need."

楚江宴说，“不急，我在这等他就好。”
Chu Jiangyan said, "No rush, I'll just wait for him here."

他都这么说了，工作人员也就没给导演打招呼了。
Since he put it that way, the staff didn't bother informing the director.

天蒙蒙黑的时候，导演回来了。
By the time dusk settled in, the director had returned.

他没注意到沙发上有人，径直抬脚往楼梯走。
He didn't notice anyone on the sofa and walked straight toward the stairs.

刚走到楼梯口，身后突然有人喊他。
Just as he reached the stairway, someone suddenly called out to him from behind.

“导演！”
"Director!"

导演下意识转头，楚江宴已经朝他走了过来。
The director instinctively turned his head, and Chu Jiangyan was already walking toward him.

“楚老师，怎么了吗？”
"Teacher Chu, what's wrong?"

莫名的，导演心里一慌。
For some reason, the director felt a sudden panic.

楚江宴不会是要退出综艺吧？
Could Chu Jiangyan be planning to quit the variety show?

千万别啊！
Please, don't let that happen!

正想着，就听对方开口了。
As I was thinking, I heard the other person speak.

听到楚江宴的话后，他人都傻了。
Upon hearing Chu Jiangyan's words, everyone else was stunned.

奇怪。
Strange.

楚江宴说的明明是中文，导演他却听不懂。
Although Chu Jiangyan was clearly speaking Chinese, the director couldn't understand him.

明明每个字都认识，但连在一起，却不认识了。
I recognize every single word, but when they're put together, I don't understand them anymore.

因为，楚江宴竟然对着他问道：
Because, Chu Jiangyan actually asked him:

“导演，你的床大不大，一个人睡怕不怕？”
"Director, is your bed big? Are you afraid of sleeping alone?"

导演简直不敢相信自己耳朵，“你说什么？”
The director couldn't believe his ears, "What did you say?"

楚江宴又重复了一遍：“我问你你的床大不大，一个人睡怕不怕？”
Chu Jiangyan repeated once more: "I'm asking if your bed is big enough, and whether you're afraid to sleep alone?"

没听错？
Did I hear that right?

这是什么问题？
What kind of question is that?

尴尬的笑了笑。回答说，“还，还好吧。”
He gave an awkward smile and replied, "It's, it's okay."

“不，不怕啊！”
"No, not afraid at all!"

楚江宴看着他直摇头，“我怎么觉得你怕呢。”
Chu Jiangyan shook his head at him, "Why do I feel like you are afraid?"

“啊？”
"Huh?"

“莫得事。”楚江宴笑着拍了拍导演的肩膀。
"It's nothing." Chu Jiangyan smiled and patted the director on the shoulder.

“晚上我来陪你。”
"I'll come keep you company tonight."

导演：？？？
Director: ???

楚江宴：“记得给我留门哟！”
Chu Jiangyan: "Remember to leave the door open for me!"

话落，他在导演一脸懵逼的表情中，迈步往楼上走去。
With those words, he strode upstairs, leaving the director utterly bewildered.

留导演一个人在原地。
Leaving the director standing alone where he was.

独自沉默。
In solitary silence.

沉默是今晚的爬床。
Silence is tonight's climb into bed.

第13章 去哪里你快说呀
Chapter 13: Where to Go? Tell Me Quickly!

导演站在原地想了很久，也没想明白。
The director stood there thinking for a long time but still couldn't figure it out.

不过事情的最后，他还是说服了自己。
However, in the end, he managed to convince himself.

楚江宴可能就是，跟他开玩笑呢。
Chu Jiangyan might just have been teasing him.

对，就是这样。
Yes, that's it.

确定，一定，以及肯定。
Absolutely, definitely, and without a doubt.

于是他回了房间，洗了个澡，准备睡觉。
So he went back to his room, took a shower, and got ready for bed.

刚上床，敲门声响起。
Just as he got into bed, there was a knock at the door.

导演一愣。
The director was taken aback.

“谁呀？”
"Who is it?"

门外的人不说话，只是一味的敲门。
The person outside remained silent, persistently knocking on the door.

“咚咚咚~”
"Knock, knock, knock~"

导演皱着眉头，起床去打开门一看。
The director frowned, got up, and went to open the door.

人傻了！
He was stunned!

楚江宴站在门外，深蓝色丝绸缎面睡袍松松垮垮穿在身上。
Chu Jiangyan stood outside the door, wearing a loosely draped dark blue silk satin robe.

怀里还抱着个枕头。
He was even holding a pillow in his arms.

一双眼睛直往导演身后的房间里瞄。
His eyes kept darting glances into the room behind the director.

导紧张的咽了咽口水，“楚影帝，你……你这个点找我，有什么事吗？”
The director swallowed nervously, "Chu... Chu Yingdi, what... what brings you here at this hour?"

楚江宴瞥了他一眼，说，“导演大人，我来爬床了。”
Chu Jiangyan glanced at him and said, "Director, I'm here to climb into your bed."

“开不开心？”
"Happy about it?"

“啥？”导演不敢相信，他竟然来真的。
"What?" The director couldn't believe he was actually serious.

“你你你，你说你要干嘛？”
"Y-you, what did you say you're going to do?"

楚江宴：“爬你床呀。”
Chu Jiangyan: "Climb into your bed."

导演：！！！
Director: !!!