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Chapter Text 正文

"Bachira! Hi. How are you?"  
“巴奇拉！嗨。你还好吗？”

Isagi lies in a bed and looks at the Bachira he's talking to on the facetime. They call each other sometimes, well, because it's hard when there are several thousand kilometres between you and your best friend.  
Isagi躺在床上，通过 FaceTime 与巴恰里亚交谈。他们有时会通话，毕竟，当你们之间隔着数千公里时，与最好的朋友保持联系并不容易。

"Isagi! I missed you. I'm fine, how are you? What's new? Did you find a cute German for yourself yet?"  
"Isagi！我想你了。我很好，你呢？有什么新鲜事吗？找到可爱的德国人了吗？"

"It's okay, I guess I have a new acquaintance?" Isagi blushes a little remembering all his interactions with Kaiser.  
"嗯，我想我有了新认识的人？" Isagi想起与Kaiser的所有互动，脸上泛起一丝红晕。

"Cheating on me?" Bachira jumps up abruptly and isagi can hear something falling off his new friend's bed. He has a suspicion that this is the new volume of the manga that Bachira was telling him about last week.  
"背着我偷吃？" 巴奇拉突然跳了起来，isagi 听到有什么东西从他新朋友床上掉落的声音。他怀疑这是巴奇拉上周跟他提起的那本新漫画。

"You actually have a boyfriend."  
"你真的有男朋友。"

"And also I have a best friend who makes close friends judging by your red face. Who is he?"  
"而且我还有个最好的朋友，看你脸红的样子，交情不浅啊。他是谁？"

"local, Michael Kaiser. But let's not talk about that."  
“本地，Michael Kaiser。不过，我们还是别谈这个了。”

“But-”   “但是——”

"I promise, next time I'll tell you everything. In fact, I have a request."  
“我保证，下次我会告诉你一切。实际上，我有个请求。”

"Anything."   "任何事。"

"Kaiser told me that Sae could come to me because only France separates us but I don't want to ask for it myself. You have to understand that if I ask Sae will probably do anything, you know him, but I don't want us to meet just because I'm... well you know, dying and everything."  
"Kaiser告诉我，Sae可以来找我，因为只有法国隔在我们之间，但我不想亲自去请求。你得明白，如果我去求Sae，他很可能会答应任何事，你了解他的，但我不想我们见面只是因为我...嗯，你知道的，快死了之类的。"

"You want me to talk to him about this?"  
"你想让我跟他谈这件事吗？"

"I would be grateful."  
"我会很感激的。"

Bachira falls silent for a moment contemplating how best to present this to the Sae. Nothing complicated really, he's pretty sure their mutual friend will agree. Sick or not, they are still friends who miss each other. Bachira had always wondered about the platonic connection between the two, they were actually something alike.  
巴奇拉沉默了一会儿，思考着如何最好地向Sae提出这个请求。其实并不复杂，他确信他们的共同朋友会同意的。无论是否生病，他们依然是彼此思念的朋友。巴奇拉一直对两人之间那种纯粹的友谊感到好奇，他们实际上颇为相似。

"No problem, I think I know how to pull it off. But you'll do something in return."  
"没问题，我想我知道怎么安排。但你也得有所回报。"

“Sure. What?”   “当然。什么？”

"Introduce him to your new friend!" Bachira laughs when looks at Isagi's confused face.  
“把他介绍给你的新朋友！”巴奇拉笑着看向Isagi困惑的脸。

“Why?”   “为什么？”

"Obviously because I can't meet him in person and I'm worried about the kind of friends you're making." Bachira emphasised the word 'friends', but Isagi pretended to have missed it. "I just want to make sure you're in good hands when I'm not around."  
显然是因为我不能亲自见他，还担心你交了什么样的朋友。"巴奇拉强调了“朋友”这个词，但Isagi假装没注意到。"我只是想确保我不在的时候你有人照顾。"

"You're acting like I'm getting married."  
"你这架势搞得像我要结婚似的。"

"Who knows what will happen?"  
"谁知道会发生什么呢？"

Isagi falls silent for a moment imagining it. Kaiser is fun to be with, despite his obvious infantilism he was a good guy. Easy-going and able to carry on any topic of conversation, he's really not a bore.  
Isagi 沉默片刻，想象着那情景。Kaiser 虽然明显有些幼稚，但和他在一起确实有趣。他随和且能轻松驾驭各种话题，真不是个无聊的人。

Isagi throws the image out of his mind.  
Isagi 甩开这个念头。

"My failing liver knows. Stop it. But if that's the way you want it why not? Maybe they can find common topics. It’s good for Sae talk to other people sometimes .”  
“我的肝脏都快抗议了。别提了。但如果你觉得这样可行，那就试试吧？或许他们能找到共同话题。Sae 偶尔和其他人聊聊也挺好的。”

"Deal! Speaking of liver, what's the news?"  
成交！说到肝脏，有什么新消息吗？

"I'm going for a biopsy tomorrow and we'll see. Last time I was in hospital they said the test results were relatively stable but they want to check something."  
我明天去做活检，到时候再看。上次住院时他们说检查结果相对稳定，但有些情况他们想再确认一下。

"I still don't understand why you don't get a liver transplant."  
我还是不明白你为什么不考虑肝移植。

"Because there's a queue for it like a temple on New Year's Eve. And my parents have the wrong blood type. And as my disease is not advanced, the doctor says he wants to try and save my liver. I’ll start immunotherapy in about a month? Pretty soon. I'll know for sure after the biopsy results."  
因为这就像新年夜的寺庙一样排着长队。而且我父母的血型不对。由于我的病情尚未发展到晚期，医生说他想尝试保住我的肝脏。我大概一个月后开始免疫治疗？很快。活检结果出来后我会确定。

"Why not chemotherapy?"   "为什么不选择化疗？"

"Because I'd rather die than shave my head."  
"因为我宁愿死也不想剃光头。"

"Don't joke like that," Bachira looks serious. As much as he likes to laugh, he really doesn't like it when Isagi jokes about death.  
"别开这种玩笑，" 巴奇拉神情严肃。尽管他喜欢笑，但 Isagi 拿死亡开玩笑时，他真的很不喜欢。

"Okay-okay, sorry. Because immunotherapy is more effective as the doctor said and I have a good chance actually."  
"好吧好吧，抱歉。因为医生说免疫疗法更有效，实际上我还有很大机会。"

"So that's a great news!" Bachira takes his laptop in hand and his face turns more approachable. "You will tell me how it went, yeah?"  
"那真是好消息！" 巴奇拉拿起笔记本电脑，表情变得亲切许多。"你会告诉我进展如何的，对吧？"

"Sure. Alright, enough about me. How's it going with Rin? How's everybody doing?"  
"当然。好了，我的事就说到这儿。Rin那边怎么样了？大家都还好吗？"

"Oh! Everything’s just fine. We're planning a journey with Rin to Kyoto next weekend, Hiori and Kurona are still not talking about the status of their relationship, nothing new. We hang out often as a foursome, but it's still not the same without you," Bachira pouts his lips at the end of his speech.  
"哦！一切都挺好的。我们正计划下周末和Rin一起去京都旅行，Hiori 和 Kurona 的关系状态还是老样子，没什么新进展。我们四个经常一起出去玩，但少了你总觉得差点意思，" Bachira 说到最后噘起了嘴。

Isagi wants to say that maybe they will see each other, but he doesn't want to give false hopes. Bachira realises this, thank him, and starts telling how he brought Rin to another dinner with his mom and it ended with them splashing paint all over the house. Isagi would like to see Rin covered in paint, he tells Bachira who starts laughing.  
Isagi想说或许不久能见面，但又不想给人虚假的希望。Bachira 意识到了这一点，感谢了他，并开始讲述他带Rin去和他妈妈共进晚餐，结果搞得家里到处都是颜料的趣事。Isagi表示很想看到Rin浑身是颜料的样子，这话让 Bachira 笑了起来。

"You should’ve seen it! I'll send you a picture but don't show it to anyone. Especially Sae, Rin will kill me."  
你真该看看的！我给你发张照片，但别给别人看。尤其是Sae，Rin会杀了我的。

They talk for a while before Isagi honestly says he is about to fall asleep and they say goodbye. He closes the laptop and falls asleep.  
他们聊了一会儿，Isagi诚实地表示自己快睡着了，于是他们互道晚安。他合上笔记本，沉沉睡去。

The next time Isagi wakes up four hours later from the call. He rubs his eyes and picks up the phone. He smiles when he sees who the call is from.  
下一次Isagi醒来时，通话已经过去了四个小时。他揉揉眼睛，拿起手机。看到来电显示时，他笑了。

“Sae? Hi.”   “Sae? 嗨。”

“Hi. How are you?”  
“嗨。你好吗？”

“I’m fine, thanks. What about you?”  
“我很好，谢谢。你呢？”

"I had an interesting conversation with Bachira."  
"我和巴奇拉进行了一次有趣的对话。"

Sae is in his style. Getting straight to the point.  
Sae 一如既往，直奔主题。

"And what was your conversation about?"  
"你们的对话内容是什么？"

"Well, he asked how I was doing in Spain. Then he asked how I was doing on the same continent as you. Then he asked, and I quote: "Why haven't you, you lazy ass, been to Munich and handed Isagi the ugliest postcard you could find". So yes, it got me thinking. I actually have some free time and... I want to see you. What do you say?"  
“嗯，他先是问我西班牙过得怎么样。接着又问我在你所在的同一大陆上过得如何。然后他问了，我引用一下：‘你个懒鬼，怎么还没去慕尼黑，把你能找到的最丑的明信片交给Isagi’。所以啊，这让我开始思考。我确实有些空闲时间……我想见你。你怎么看？”

Isagi laughs imagining Bachira telling Sae off.  
Isagi 想象着八喜拉对Sae发火的场景，不禁笑出声来。

"I'll say it looks like a Bachira. But actually I'd be happy to see you, do you have any idea how to do it?"  
“我会说这很八喜拉风格。不过说实话，我很高兴能见到你，你有什么计划吗？”

"What about the end of this week? I could fly in for four or five days."  
"这周末怎么样？我可以飞过来待四五天。"

Isagi recalls the Kaiser asking him to go to Berlin for the weekend and his promise to Bachira to introduce Sae and Michael.  
Isagi 回想起 Kaiser 邀请他去柏林过周末，以及他对巴奇拉承诺要介绍 Sae 和 Michael。

"I won't really be able to say until tomorrow. The doctor has sent me for a biopsy and my plans depend on the results."  
"我得等到明天才能确定。医生让我去做活检，我的计划取决于结果。"

Sae was silent for a while, as he always did when Isagi was talking about health. He had a habit of saying whatever he thought without filtering it, but Sae didn't want to hurt Yoichi's feelings. Not him.  
Sae沉默了一会儿，每当Isagi谈论健康时，他总是这样。他习惯于不加过滤地表达自己的想法，但Sae不想伤害Yoichi的感情。不是他。

"You said you were fine, right?"  
"你说过你没事，对吧？"

"And it's still like that." Isagi hears Sae sigh.  
"现在还是那样。" Isagi听到Sae叹了口气。

"All right, whatever you say. By the way, Bachira said I was obliged to meet someone and find out all I could about him. Your new friend?" Isagi can't see him but knows he's smiling.  
“好吧，随你怎么说。对了，巴奇拉说我得去见个人，尽可能了解他。你的新朋友？”Isagi虽然看不见，但知道他在微笑。

"Something like that. By the way, he's offered to go to Berlin this weekend and I think it would be a great opportunity to cross paths. If everything goes well."  
“差不多吧。顺便说一句，他提议这周末去柏林，我觉得这是个不错的机会能碰上。如果一切顺利的话。”

If . Isagi hates this fucking if.  
如果……Isagi讨厌这个该死的如果。

"Okay? I hope you know what you're doing," he smiled bitterly. Sae had always been like that - he believed in Isagi too much. "Then let me know tomorrow so I can get the tickets ."  
"好吗？希望你知道自己在做什么。" 他苦笑着说。Sae 一直如此——他对 Isagi 太过信任。"那明天告诉我一声，我好订票。"

"Sure, thank you. I'll call you then."  
"当然，谢谢你。到时我会打电话给你。"

"Yes. I'll be waiting" Sae hangs up and Isagi immediately texts to Bachira to say thank you.  
"好的，我会等着。" Sae 挂断电话，Isagi 立刻给巴奇拉发短信表示感谢。

After thinking for a while, he writes to Kaiser.  
思索片刻后，他给Kaiser写信。

19.16, Me:   19:16，我：

r u busy?   你忙吗？

19.17, Incorrigible romantic:  
19.17，无可救药的浪漫主义者：

miss me already, Yoichi?  
已经开始想我了吗，Yoichi？

anyway no   反正没有

19.17, Me:   19.17，我：

good    好的

i'll meet u on the field then?  
那我们在场上见？

19.17, Incorrigible romantic:  
19.17，无可救药的浪漫者：

yeah   是啊

and i miss you  
我想你了

The next day Isagi arrives at the hospital at the appointed time. He goes straight to the necessary room on his way to greet the familiar staff.  
次日，Isagi 按照约定时间抵达医院。他径直前往必要的房间，途中向熟悉的医护人员打招呼。

"Mr. Isagi? You're just in time, come in." The doctor greets him and shows him where to put his clothes. He asks a bunch of questions related to Isagi's well-being and when he gets all the answers asks him to lie down.  
"Isagi先生？您来得正好，请进。" 医生向他打招呼，并指示他放置衣物的地方。医生询问了一系列关于Isagi健康状况的问题，在得到所有答案后，请他躺下。

The procedure itself is short but very unpleasant. Isagi feels his skin being pierced and clutches the sheet beneath him.  
整个过程虽短暂却极为不适。Isagi 感到皮肤被刺穿，紧抓着身下的床单。

The doctor is really good, which really isn't surprising given that it's a prestigious hospital. Isagi knows that this could be much more unpleasant. He realises that he finally unclenched his fists when the doctor starts talking to him.  
医生确实很专业，这并不令人意外，毕竟这是一家声誉卓著的医院。Isagi知道情况本可能更糟糕。他意识到当医生开始与他交谈时，他终于松开了紧握的拳头。

"Lie on the side for the next two hours, I'll come back later with the results."  
"接下来两个小时请侧躺，我稍后带着结果回来。"

Isagi hums in agree and asks to be given his phone. At least he won't be bored the whole time.  
Isagi轻声应允，并请求拿回手机。至少这段时间他不会无聊。

He spends the next hour mindlessly surfing social media. At one point he dozes off and is awakened by the doctor's voice.  
接下来的一个小时里，他漫无目的地浏览着社交媒体。期间他打了个盹，被医生的声音唤醒。

"Mr. Isagi? You can get up . Water?"  
"Isagi先生？您可以起来了。要喝水吗？"

“Yes, please.”   “好的，谢谢。”

Isagi gets up and hisses slightly at how badly his whole body is stiff. He stands up and takes a glass of water from the doctor.  
Isagi 起身时微微倒吸一口气，全身僵硬得厉害。他站起身，从医生那里接过一杯水。

" Your attending physician  suggested that you were at risk of developing a tumour which is very unlikely, but he decided to play it safe, so you were sent to me. What can I say, the results are good, I don't see any major changes, so we will stick to the planned treatment schedule."  
"你的主治医生担心你有患肿瘤的风险，虽然这可能性极低，但他决定谨慎行事，于是你被转到了我这里。怎么说呢，检查结果不错，我没有发现什么重大变化，所以我们还是按照原定的治疗计划进行。"

Only now Isagi realise he can exhale before asking another question.  
直到此刻，Isagi 才意识到自己可以先松一口气，再问下一个问题。

"I’m sorry, am I allowed to leave the city?”  
“对不起，我可以离开这座城市吗？”

"Why not? You're stable and I don't see any reason to say no. The most important thing is to remember to eat but I suppose you understand that.” 
“为什么不可以？你情况稳定，我看不出有什么理由拒绝。最重要的是记得吃饭，不过我想你明白这一点。”

“Of course.”   “当然。”

"Okay, then you need to come next Thursday. It's no big deal, just a blood test and that's all".  
“好的，那你下周四过来吧。没什么大不了的，就做个血检，完事了。”

"Got it, see you later."  
“明白了，回见。”

Isagi says goodbye to the doctor and feels a kind of relief. But first he has to call one person.  
Isagi 向医生道别，感到一阵释然。但首先，他得给一个人打电话。

"Yoichi?"   "Yoichi？"

"Take the tickets, Sae."  
"拿着票，Sae。"

Isagi hears his friend's quiet laughter and it warms his soul.  
Isagi听到朋友的轻笑声，心中涌起暖意。

"Okay, boss. Congratulations."  
"好的，老板。恭喜你。"

"Thank you. How are you?"  
"谢谢。你怎么样？"

"Better than a minute ago."  
"比一分钟前好多了。"

"Was it bad a minute ago?"  
"刚才情况很糟糕吗？"

"It was business as usual a minute ago. You know, I'm pretty bored here alone, although I did pick up an interesting player recently."  
"一分钟前还是老样子。你知道的，我一个人在这儿挺无聊的，不过最近倒是遇到了一个挺有意思的玩家。"

"Wow, what's he like?"  
"哇，他什么样？"

"Don't even ask. The demon."  
"别问了，那家伙可是个恶魔。"

Isagi laughs it off imagining a calm and poised Sae next to someone hyperactive. An interesting sight.  
Isagi 笑着想象着冷静自持的 Sae 身边有个超级活跃的人，真是一幅有趣的画面。

"If you say so, he must be something" says Isagi and gets into a taxi.  
"既然你这么说，他肯定不简单。" Isagi 说着便上了出租车。

"Trust me on this. If he finds out I talk about him like that he'll probably go crazy."  
相信我，如果他发现我那样谈论他，他可能会发疯的。

"Then let's keep it our little secret."  
“那我们就把它当作我们的小秘密吧。”

"Sure. Are you going home?"  
“当然。你要回家吗？”

"Yeah, you're the first person I called. If Bachira finds out about this, he'll remember it for the rest of his fucking life. He's been texting me for the last... many hours and I still haven't answered."  
“是啊，你是第一个我打电话的人。要是巴奇拉知道了这事，他肯定会记一辈子。他这好几个小时一直在给我发短信，我还没回呢。”

"Then let this be our second little secret."  
“那就让这成为我们的第二个小秘密吧。”

Both guys are laughing. It reminds Isagi why he likes spending time with Sae so much - he's easy and relaxed to be with.  
两人都笑了起来。这让Isagi想起了为什么他这么喜欢和Sae待在一起——和他在一起轻松自在。

"Totally agree. Then will you send me the details of your flight? We'll meet you already in Berlin."  
完全同意。那你能把航班详情发给我吗？我们会在柏林接你。

"Sure. Is there something I should know about your friend?"  
当然。关于你朋友，有什么我需要了解的吗？

Isagi blushes slightly and thinks about what safe information he can tell.  
Isagi 微微脸红，思考着能透露哪些安全信息。

"He has the most eccentric appearance I've ever seen."  
"他是我见过的最古怪的人。"

"Yoichi, trust me, you didn't see my demon."  
"Yoichi,相信我，你还没见过我的恶魔。"

"Can't even imagine" Isagi isn't lying, he really can't imagine anyone more unusual than Kaiser. "He's quite cheerful, isn't he? There's no time to be bored with him. He has a huge tattoo all over his arm, but I've only seen part of it. He doesn't know I'm dying and he seems to be in love with the most banal sights in Berlin."  
"简直无法想象" Isagi 没有撒谎，他确实无法想象有谁能比 Kaiser 更不寻常。"他挺开朗的，不是吗？跟他在一起绝不会无聊。他手臂上纹满了巨大的纹身，但我只见过一部分。他不知道我快死了，而且他似乎对柏林最平凡的景色都情有独钟。"

Sae gets the hint - if Isagi is presenting important information as some trivial matter it means he doesn't want to discuss it. He knows Isagi well, so he's focusing on something else.  
Sae 明白了——如果 Isagi 把重要信息当作无关紧要的事情来陈述，那就意味着他不想深入讨论。他很了解 Isagi，所以现在正专注于其他事情。

"Sights? We must visit them, Yoichi."  
"景点吗？我们一定得去看看，Yoichi。"

"I promise you this. Michael is literally dragging me to Berlin for this."  
"我向你保证。Michael 简直是硬拉着我为了这个去柏林。"

"That's good. Someone should do it when I'm not around."  
那很好。我不在的时候总得有人做这事。

"Don't say that of him."  
别那样说他。

"Here comes our third little secret."  
我们的第三个小秘密来了。

They laugh again before saying goodbye. Isagi gets out of the taxi and quickly heads for the house. He is greeted by his grandmother who is waiting for news and Isagi feels a pang of conscience for not having called her first. He retells what the doctor has told him and goes up to his room. He wants to call Kaiser and offer to meet him, but instead he texts Bachira the good news and changes into his home clothes. The excitement of the impending meeting slowly wears off and he feels himself falling asleep.  
他们再次笑出声，然后道别。Isagi 下了出租车，快步走向家门。迎接他的是焦急等待消息的祖母，Isagi 心中涌起一丝愧疚，因为没有先给她打电话。他复述了医生的话，然后上楼回房。他本想联系Kaiser 提议见面，却转而给巴奇拉发了好消息，并换上了家居服。即将见面的兴奋感逐渐消退，他感到自己昏昏欲睡。

19:20, Me:    19:20，我：

u, me n berry tea in half an hour  
你，我和浆果茶，半小时后见

19:21, Incorrigible romantic:  
19:21, 执迷不悟的浪漫者：

straight to the point? no foreplay?  
直奔主题？没有前戏？

19:21, Me:   19:21, 我：

this is foreplay   这是前戏

19:21, Incorrigible Romantic:  
19:21，屡教不改的浪漫主义者：

what's the business then?  
那接下来是什么？

19:22, Me:   19:22，我：

u'll find out in half an hour :)  
你半小时后就会知道了 :)

i'll discount the location  
我会透露地点的折扣信息

19:22, Incorrigible Romantic:  
19:22, 死性不改的浪漫者：

Yoichi, would it kill u to tell me just once that you missed me? :(  
Yoichi，你就不能有一次告诉我你很想我吗？ :(

Isagi thinks of a witty answer but quickly gives up. He wants to be honest about something.  
Isagi本想回个机智的答案，但很快放弃了。他想诚实地表达一次心意。

19:24, Me:   19:24, 我：

i miss u   我想你

19:25, Incorrigible romantic:  
19:25, 不改浪漫本色：

i knew it!    我就知道！

19:25, Me:   19:25，我：

don't make me regret my words  
别让我后悔说出的话

19:25, Incorrigible Romantic:  
19:25, 死性不改的浪漫主义者:

haha see u soon. want me to pick u up?  
哈哈，很快见。需要我去接你吗？

19:25, Me:   19:25, 我:

wtf? do u have a car?  
什么鬼？你有车吗？

19:25, Incorrigible romantic:  
19:25, 死性不改的浪漫主义者：

well... yeah? I didn't tell...? OMG YOICHI I DIDNT TELL U? U JUST HAVE to see my baby  
呃... 有啊？我没说过吗？天啊 YOICHI 我没告诉过你吗？你一定得看看我的宝贝

19:25, Me:   19:25，我：

then i'll cut it down to 15 minutes ;) i'll send the address now  
那我就缩短到 15 分钟 ;) 现在就发地址给你

Isagi blocks the phone and ignores for another minute how fast his heart is beating. He thinks about Kaiser, about his hands (his bloody beautiful hands) on the steering wheel and he's sure he'll enjoy the sight. He tries to imagine what kind of car would suit Kaiser... Certainly not something large, certainly bright and maybe...  
Isagi 挂断电话，忽略了一分钟内心跳的急速。他想起了Kaiser，想起他握着方向盘的手（那双血淋淋的美丽双手），他确信自己会喜欢这个景象。他试图想象什么样的车适合Kaiser……肯定不是大型车，一定是明亮且或许……

Of course.   当然。

It was obvious. Ten minutes later Isagi comes out and looks at the beautiful red Audi sloppily parked outside his house and Michael with the most smug smile he can muster.  
显而易见。十分钟后，Isagi 走出来，看着自家门外那辆随意停放的漂亮红色奥迪，以及 Michael，脸上挂着他所能展现的最得意的笑容。

"Damn it, where do your parents work?"  
“该死，你父母是做什么的？”

Kaiser laughs and opens the car door for Isagi.  
Kaiser 笑着为 Isagi 打开车门。

"They own one very large company."  
"他们拥有一家非常大的公司。"

"I might have known when I came to your house" mutters Isagi and fastens his seatbelt.  
"我可能早该猜到，当我去你家时。" Isagi 咕哝着系上安全带。

"So, where are we going?" Kaiser turns to him and ruffles his hair.  
“那么，我们去哪儿？” Kaiser 转向他，揉乱了他的头发。

Sometimes (every meeting) Isagi thinks Michael will die if he doesn't touch his hair. He doesn't voice it.  
有时候（每次见面）Isagi 觉得如果不摸摸 Michael 的头发，他就会死去似的。但他没说出口。

"I want tea. Berry."  
“我想喝茶。要浆果味的。”

"As you wish, your majesty."  
"如您所愿，陛下。"

They were already drinking their very large and very tasty tea when Kaiser spoke.  
当Kaiser开口时，他们已经在享用那杯既大又美味的茶了。

"Let's go to some place?"  
"我们去个地方吧？"

"Where is it?"   "它在哪儿？"

"Let it be a surprise."  
"让它成为一个惊喜吧。"

"Okay?"   "好吗？"

The journey was not very long, less than an hour. The time passed unnoticed as the two boys talked and had fun all the way. They drove out into a deserted area and only then did they stop.  
旅程并不漫长，不到一小时。两个男孩一路上谈笑风生，时间悄然流逝。他们驶入一片荒凉地带，这才停下车来。

"Admit it, were you being so nice because you're actually a maniac and want to kill me?"  
“承认吧，你这么好心是不是因为你其实是个疯子，想杀了我？”

"So you think I was nice?"  
“这么说你觉得我挺好？”

Isagi sighs loudly and covers the top half of his face with his hand. He hopes he looks annoyed, but really just doesn't want Kaiser to see Isagi blush.  
Isagi 重重地叹了口气，用手遮住上半张脸。他希望自己看起来很恼火，但实际上只是不想让 Kaiser 看到 Isagi 脸红。

"So what's the deal, sweet Yoichi?" Kaiser takes Isagi by the hand and leads him down the path next to where he's parked.  
"那么，怎么回事呢，亲爱的 Yoichi？" Kaiser 牵起 Isagi 的手，领着他走向停车的那条小路旁。

"Oh, it's regarding Berlin. In fact I even have two news, but I don't know how’d you... WOW."  
"哦，是关于柏林的事。其实我有两条消息，但不知道你会怎么...哇哦。"

Isagi stops abruptly when he sees where Kaiser has led him. It is a picturesque place, they are standing close to a small lake surrounded by trees - mostly willow trees that lean low to the water. The sunset completes the landscape: it was the same as ever but in this time and place...  
Isagi 突然停下脚步，当他看到Kaiser带他来到的地方时。这里风景如画，他们站在一个小湖边，四周被树木环绕——主要是低垂向水面的柳树。夕阳为这幅画面画上了完美的句点：景色一如既往，但在这个时间和地点...

"I have no words" Isagi looks ahead and doesn't see the tenderness with which Kaiser looks at him. He smiles and still holds Isagi's hand, continuing to lead him closer to the shore. Isagi turns to him and only now notices the backpack on Kaiser. "Are we having a picnic?"  
“我无言以对。”Isagi 望着前方，没有察觉到Kaiser看向他的温柔目光。他微笑着，依旧握着Isagi的手，继续引领他向湖岸靠近。Isagi转头看向他，这才注意到Kaiser背上的背包。“我们要野餐吗？”

"Yes, I took a plaid and some food. I remember you have gastritis so I made a lean meal, nothing special just the usual fruit, sandwiches with lettuce and boiled chicken."  
“是的，我带了格子布和一些食物。记得你有胃炎，所以我准备了清淡的餐点，没什么特别的，就是平常的水果、生菜三明治和煮鸡肉。”

Isagi feels warm in his soul. He looks gratefully at Kaiser and hugs him. Michael is taken aback because of this unexpected action but quickly pulls himself together and hugs him back.  
Isagi 感到内心温暖。他感激地看着 Kaiser，并拥抱了他。Michael 因这突如其来的举动而愣住，但很快回过神来，也回抱了他。

"Hey, Yoichi, what's up?"  
"嘿，Yoichi，怎么了？"

Isagi mumbled something - he couldn't be heard as he was resting against Kaiser's chest - and clutched at him even harder.  
Isagi 咕哝了些什么——他靠在 Kaiser 的胸前，声音听不清楚——并更紧地抓住了他。

They lost track of how long they stood like that, Isagi hugging Kaiser and Kaiser stroking Isagi's head, but eventually Isagi took a step back and   grabbed the other guy's hand.  
他们忘记了在那里站了多久，Isagi拥抱着Kaiser，而Kaiser轻抚着Isagi的头，但最终Isagi后退一步，抓住了对方的手。

Despite feeling grateful he feels lousy about how well he’s being treated. He doesn't deserve it. Kaiser is trying so hard for him but Isagi? All he can do is tell another lie.  
尽管心怀感激，他却因受到如此善待而感到愧疚。他不配得到这些。Kaiser为他竭尽全力，但Isagi呢？他唯一能做的只是再撒一个谎。

"Thank you, Michael, I really appreciate it."  
"谢谢你，Michael，我真的非常感激。"

Kaiser looks at him for a while before answering.  
Kaiser 看了他一会儿才回答。

"Have your friends treated you well?"  
“你的朋友们对你好吗？”

"Sure, why do you ask?"  
“当然，你为什么这么问？”

"Because you reacted as if you were taken care of for the first time in your life."  
“因为你表现得像是这辈子第一次被人照顾一样。”

How ironic , thought Isagi.  
Isagi 心想，真是讽刺。

"Believe me, they took good care of me. And speaking of friends..."  
“相信我，他们对我照顾得很好。说到朋友……”

They lay out the plaid and food while Isagi talks about Sae and his offer to come.  
他们铺开格子布，摆上食物，而Isagi则谈论着Sae和他的邀请。

"So that's great, Yoichi! I'd love to meet him, just why would you decide that?"  
"那太好了，Yoichi！我很想见见他，只是你为何会做出这个决定呢？"

"Not that it's up to me..." Isagi mutters quietly, "Anyway, why not? I want my close people to know each other."  
"并非我能决定的事……" Isagi低声嘟囔，"总之，有何不可？我希望我亲近的人能互相认识。"

Kaiser shines brighter than the sun after the sentence and lays down on Isagi's lap. 
Kaiser 在说完这句话后比太阳还要耀眼，随即躺在了 Isagi 的膝上。

"So we're close, Yoichi?"  
“所以我们很亲近了，Yoichi？”

Isagi's face was the colour of the tomatoes that were lying next to him.  
Isagi 的脸色红得像躺在他旁边的西红柿一样。

"You're a fool, Micha" he replies and pretends that the change from name to nickname is nothing to him.  
"你真是个傻瓜，Micha。" 他回答道，假装从名字到昵称的转变对他毫无影响。

They continued to sit like this. The boys fed each other fruit and discussed the upcoming trip. Kaiser said they would only go by car and yes I can take so much driving, no, Yoichi, don't worry, nothing will happen.  
他们就这样继续坐着。男孩们互相喂食水果，讨论即将到来的旅行。Kaiser 坚持说他们只会开车去，是的，我可以开这么久的车，不，Yoichi，别担心，什么都不会发生的。

At one point Isagi stopped listening to Kaiser's chatter. He thought about the atmosphere around him: the sun which had long since set and now they had only the light of the moon and the stars reflected in the lake. There was no wind, the only sounds were the lads themselves and the crickets around them.  
在某一刻，Isagi 停止了听Kaiser 的喋喋不休。他想起了周围的氛围：太阳早已落下，现在他们只有月光和星星在湖面上的倒影。没有风，唯一的声音就是他们自己以及周围的蟋蟀声。

Isagi looked at Kaiser who was still lying on his lap, at his quirky fringes, at the part of his tattoo that was visible from under his collar, at his pale lashes behind which his light blue eyes could be seen. The most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen. On his plump lips he spoke and spoke and spoke...  
Isagi 看着躺在自己腿上的 Kaiser，他的俏皮刘海，从衣领下露出的那部分纹身，还有他苍白睫毛后隐约可见的淡蓝色眼睛。那是他见过的最美的蓝色。在他丰满的唇上，他不停地说着，说着，说着……

Kaiser was chirping something cheerfully - some funny school story, I think - when Isagi leaned over and kissed him. It was a light touch on his lips and he almost immediately returned to his original position. Kaiser looked at him with wide eyes and rose sharply. Now that they were on the same level he looked at Isagi and kissed him back.  
Kaiser 正兴高采烈地讲述着什么——我想是一些有趣的校园故事——这时 Isagi 俯身吻了他。那是一个轻柔的吻，落在他的唇上，他几乎立刻就回到了原来的位置。Kaiser 睁大眼睛看着他，猛地站了起来。现在他们处于同一水平线上，他看着 Isagi 并回吻了他。

Isagi liked kissing Kaiser.  
Isagi 喜欢吻 Kaiser。

It feels good. Good with this bizarre guy, good under all these stars, good in the arms of another, good on that plaid on the beach. He feels alive.  
感觉真好。和这个古怪的家伙在一起很好，在这么多星星下很好，在另一个人的怀抱里很好，在海滩上的那块格子布上很好。他感到自己活着。

If I feel so good, thinks Isagi, why am I so sad?  
如果我感觉这么好，Isagi心想，为什么我这么悲伤？

He knows the answer. He knows and keeps kissing Kaiser, clinging to him as the last stronghold of his life.  
他知道答案。他知道，并且继续亲吻Kaiser，紧紧依附着他，如同生命最后的堡垒。

“Why are you crying, Yoichi?” Kaiser pulls away and now holds his face in his hands looking worried.  
“你为什么哭了，Yoichi？” Kaiser 拉开距离，双手捧着脸，显得很担忧。

"I'm not crying."   “我没哭。”

"You are."   “你明明在哭。”

Oh? Well, maybe it was true.  
哦？或许那是真的。

“Because I feel good.”  
“因为我感觉很好。”

“People don't look sad when they are feeling good. Tell me, Yoichi, is something bothering you?”  
“人在感觉好的时候不会显得悲伤。告诉我，Yoichi，有什么事困扰你吗？”

"I'm fine. Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the moment."  
“我没事。抱歉，我不是故意破坏气氛的。”

Kaiser frowns and hugs Isagi. It makes him cry even more for some reason.  
Kaiser皱着眉头抱住Isagi。不知为何，这让他哭得更厉害了。

“Silly Yoichi, you are not spoiling anything. You know you can tell me anything?”  
“傻瓜Yoichi，你并没有破坏什么。你知道的，任何事你都可以告诉我。”

Isagi nods. And kisses Kaiser again.  
Isagi 点头，再次吻了 Kaiser。

Probably, Yoichi thinks, He's right. I'm really very stupid.  
或许，Yoichi 心想，他说得对。我真是非常愚蠢。

It was already late at night when they drove home. Kaiser held Isagi's hand at every opportunity and watched as the boy gradually fell asleep. He began to call him softly when they drove up to Isagi's house.  
当他们驱车回家时，夜已深沉。Kaiser 抓住每一个机会握住 Isagi 的手，看着男孩渐渐入睡。当他们驶近 Isagi 的家时，他开始轻声呼唤他。

“Hey Yoichi, we have arrived.”  
“嘿，Yoichi，我们到了。”

“M-m” Isagi didn’t even open his eyes.  
“嗯-嗯” Isagi 连眼睛都没睁开。

“Get up, sleepyhead, you need to go home.” Kaiser watches the boy's inner struggle against waking up.  
“起床啦，小懒虫，你该回家了。” Kaiser 观察着男孩与起床之间的内心挣扎。

"Don't wanna."   “不想。”

“Do you want me to carry you in my arms? Very solemn.”  
“要我抱你吗？很庄重的。”

“Then you won’t leave this house until the morning.”  
“那你到早上都别想出这个门了。”

"Why?" Kaiser leans over to Yoichi in amusement and playfully draws patterns on his arm.  
“为什么？”Kaiser 笑着凑近Yoichi，在他手臂上顽皮地画着图案。

“Because my grandma will give you a hard interrogation.” Isagi sighs heavily after that and hears Kaiser laughing.  
“因为我奶奶会对你进行一番严厉的盘问。”Isagi 叹了口气，随后听到Kaiser的笑声。

"I think she's sleeping, Yoichi."  
“我觉得她睡着了，Yoichi。”

“What time is it?”  
“现在几点了？”

“It seems to me about two after midnight.”  
“在我看来，大概是午夜两点左右。”

"What?!" apparently Isagi finally wakes up. “Damn, I didn’t expect so much time to pass.”  
“什么？！”显然，Isagi终于醒了。“该死，我没想到时间过得这么快。”

“Well, happy people don’t keep track of time. So, are you getting up?”  
“嗯，快乐的人不会在意时间。那么，你要起床了吗？”

“Yes,” Isagi looks at Kaiser from his seat before taking his hand “Though you could stay with me.”  
“是的，”Isagi 从座位上望向Kaiser，随后握住他的手，“不过你可以留下来陪我。”

It was clear that he was considering this offer before nodding.  
显然，他在考虑这个提议，然后点了点头。

“Okay, I’ll just let my mom know. Your grandma won't mind?"  
“好的，我会告诉我妈妈的。你奶奶不会介意吧？”

“No, I think she'll be happy that I'm making... friends. But I wasn't kidding about the interrogation. Whatever she asks tomorrow, I’m sorry in advance.”  
“不会，我想她会因为我交到……朋友而高兴。不过我之前说的审问可不是开玩笑的。不管她明天问什么，我先提前道歉了。”

Kaiser is silent for a while before asking.  
Kaiser 沉默了一会儿，然后问道。

"Friends?"   “朋友？”

Isagi understands what he is leading to and tenses up a bit. His whole nature wanted to be with Kaiser but this is a line that he cannot cross. At least for now.  
Isagi 明白他话中之意，略显紧张。他内心深处渴望与 Kaiser 相伴，但这条界限他无法逾越，至少目前如此。

“Can we discuss this after our journey? I need to think about something."  
“旅途结束后我们再谈，好吗？我需要时间思考。”

“And consult with all your friends?”  
“还和所有朋友商量了？”

Isagi smiles and clasps Kaiser's hand in his. He doesn't get angry.  
Isagi 微笑着握紧了 Kaiser 的手。他没有生气。

“And this too. You still need to get approval from Sae.”  
“这个也是。你还需要得到 Sae 的同意。”

"Sae knows?"   "Sae 知道吗？"

"Sae isn’t a fool."  
"Sae 可不是傻瓜。"

“That explains a lot. Let's go?"  
“这就说得通了。我们走吧？”

They get out of the car and Isagi quietly opens the door. Kaiser was right - his grandma is sleeping so they go to Isagi's room trying to be as quiet as possible.  
他们下了车，Isagi轻手轻脚地打开门。Kaiser说得没错——他奶奶正在睡觉，于是他们尽量悄无声息地走向Isagi的房间。

“You have a nice house.” They turn to whispers.  
“你家真漂亮。”他们压低了声音交谈。

"Thanks. I'll bring you clothes. Sorry if it's a bit small."  
“谢谢。我去给你拿些衣服。如果有点小的话，请见谅。”

Kaiser giggles softly.   Kaiser 轻声笑了起来。

"It's okay. Where is the bathroom?  
"没关系。洗手间在哪儿？"

“The door is opposite. Blue towel.”  
“门对面。蓝色毛巾。”

“Good, I’ll wait.” He winks and leaves the room.  
“好，我等着。”他眨了眨眼，离开了房间。

Isagi is looking for his biggest home clothes before he gets the gist of the situation. The Kaiser will sleep in his house in his bed and in his clothes . He blushes once again and kicks away all embarrassing thoughts.  
Isagi 在弄清楚状况之前，正寻找他最宽松的家居服。Kaiser 将会睡在他家，躺在他床上，穿着他的衣服。他再次脸红，踢开了所有尴尬的想法。

Calm down, idiot.   冷静点，傻瓜。

He finds some pants that have become too big for him and goes into the bathroom. Kaiser is standing in front of a mirror wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist.  
他找了几条已经变得过于宽松的裤子，走进浴室。Kaiser正站在镜子前，腰间只裹着一条毛巾。

Isagi looks at him for a while until Kaiser breaks the silence.  
Isagi盯着他看了一会儿，直到Kaiser打破了沉默。

"Like it?"   "喜欢吗？"

Maybe Isagi is being too brave today or maybe his theory that liver cancer affects the brain turns out to be true. Anyways, he replies:  
或许Isagi今天过于勇敢，又或许他关于肝癌影响大脑的理论确有其事。总之，他回复道：

"Very much." And it's true. Kaiser has a toned and beautiful body. And very attractive thighs as Isagi can tell from what he sees. He has broad shoulders and pumped up arms, it is clear that a person pays attention to sports. “I see your tattoo for the first time.”  
"非常棒。" 确实如此。Kaiser拥有一副健美迷人的身躯。他的大腿同样引人注目，Isagi从所见之处便可得知。他肩宽臂壮，显然是个注重运动的人。“我第一次注意到你的纹身。”

“You can look closer if you want.”  
“如果你想，可以看得更仔细些。”

And Isagi wants to. He comes closer and runs his fingers from the crown along the arm through the thorn vines and stops at the rosebud lightly squeezing the guy by the neck.  
Isagi确实想这么做。他靠近了些，手指从头顶沿着手臂穿过荆棘藤蔓，轻触到玫瑰花蕾，顺势轻捏住对方的脖颈。

“Very nice,” he says, and pulls Kaiser's neck for a kiss.  
“非常不错，”他说着，将Kaiser的脖子拉近，准备亲吻。

They had to break away from each other because Isagi still needs to take a shower and Kaiser still has no pants on. After a quick rinse Isagi enters the room and turns off the light.  
他们不得不暂时分开，因为Isagi还得洗个澡，而Kaiser还光着腿。匆匆冲洗后，Isagi走进房间，关掉了灯。

“Why are you shirtless?”  
“你怎么光着膀子？”

“Don't like to be clothed.” Kaiser smirks.  
“不喜欢穿衣服。” Kaiser 得意地笑了。

Isagi thanks himself from the past for turning off the light.  
Isagi 感谢过去的自己关了灯。

“Silly. Let's sleep."   “傻瓜，睡吧。”

They lie in silence before Isagi begins to speak.  
他们静静躺着，直到Isagi开口说话。

"Micha?"   “Micha？”

"M?"   “嗯？”

“If I told you something that might make you very disappointed and angry, would you leave me?”  
“如果我告诉你一些可能会让你非常失望和生气的事情，你会离开我吗？”

“I already said I was going to haunt you for the rest of my life.”  
“我已经说过，我要缠着你一辈子。”

“You said that the second time we met, when you knew almost nothing about me.”  
“你说过，我们第二次见面时，你对我的了解几乎为零。”

“I knew you were my soulmate, so I won't go back on my words. What do you want to tell me?"  
“我知道你是我的灵魂伴侣，所以我不会食言。你想告诉我什么？”

The room is dark and you can't see anything but Isagi feels Kaiser turn to him and start stroking his hair.  
房间里一片漆黑，除了Isagi感觉到Kaiser转向他，开始抚摸他的头发，其他什么也看不见。

“To be honest I don’t want to tell you. But it will be fair to you.”  
“老实说，我不想告诉你。但这样对你才公平。”

Kaiser is silent for a while considering his next words.  
Kaiser 沉默了一会儿，斟酌着接下来的话。

“I won't rush you. Tell me when you're ready. But I'm not going to give up on you no matter what you tell me.”  
“我不会催你。准备好时再告诉我。但无论你告诉我什么，我都不会放弃你。”

Isagi feels the tears roll down his cheeks again.  
Isagi 感到泪水再次滑落脸颊。

He turns to Kaiser and presses his whole body against him.  
他转向 Kaiser，紧紧贴在他身上。

“Thank you.”   “谢谢你。”

They lie like this for a while before Isagi begins to speak.  
他们就这样躺了一会儿，随后Isagi开口了。

"Micha?"   "Micha？"

"Yes?"   "嗯？"

"You are very beautiful."  
"你非常美丽。"

Isagi feels himself being kissed on the top of his head and decides to continue the game he started.  
Isagi 感觉到自己头顶被亲吻，决定继续他开始的游戏。

“And you are very funny.”  
“而你非常有趣。”

Kiss on the neck.  
亲吻颈部。

"And I really like your thighs.”  
“我真的喜欢你的大腿。”

Kaiser abruptly grabs him and puts him on top of himself. He pulls Isagi closer and starts actively kissing his neck. He whispers:  
Kaiser 突然抓住他，将他置于自己上方。他拉近Isagi，开始主动亲吻他的颈部。他低语道：

"Continue."   "继续。"

"Your turn."   "该你了。"

Isagi grabs Kaiser by the hair and pulls gently to the side to expose his neck. He leaves the first kiss under the collarbone. Isagi feels Kaiser freeze before putting his hands on Yoichi's waist and starting to speak.  
Isagi 抓住 Kaiser 的头发，轻轻地拉向一侧，露出他的脖子。他在锁骨下留下第一个吻。Isagi 感觉到 Kaiser 僵住了一瞬，随后将手放在 Yoichi 的腰间，开始说话。

“Your hair is very soft”  
“你的头发很柔软。”

Isagi hums as he rises a little higher and places a kiss on his shoulder.  
Isagi 哼着小曲儿，稍稍升高了些，在他肩上落下一吻。

“Is that why your hands are glued to my head?”  
“所以你的手才一直粘在我头上吗？”

"Inclusive. You have very beautiful eyes."  
"包容。你的眼睛非常美丽。"

Isagi stops at a rose and after a moment of thinking leaves a mark there. He's a little flustered but Kaiser's low moan is an encouragement.  
Isagi 停在了一朵玫瑰前，经过片刻思考后在那里留下了一个印记。他有些慌乱，但 Kaiser 的低吟是一种鼓励。

“I thought you liked my tattoo.”  
“我以为你喜欢我的纹身。”

“Yes, but I like red more than blue.”  
“是的，但我更喜欢红色而不是蓝色。”

Isagi thinks for a second and leaves another mark nearby. The rose bloomed beautifully scarlet.  
Isagi 思考片刻，又在附近留下了一个标记。玫瑰绽放出美丽的猩红色。

“Sweet Yoichi, you are so mischievous.”  
“可爱的Yoichi，你真是调皮。”

“You like it tho.”  
“你还是挺喜欢的嘛。”

Kaiser can only laugh quietly at this. Yoichi leaves the rose alone and switches to lips.  
Kaiser 对此只能轻声笑笑。Yoichi 放开了玫瑰，转而轻触双唇。

They don’t kiss passionately, there is no lust. Only tenderness and trust to each other.  
他们的吻并不热烈，没有欲望，只有彼此间的温柔与信任。

When they break away from each other and fall asleep cuddled together, the room was already getting light from the first rays of the sun.  
当他们从彼此的怀抱中挣脱，相拥而眠时，房间已被初升的太阳的第一缕光线照亮。

Isagi wakes up a couple hours later and feels something’s wrong. A feeling of unbearable pain in the abdomen and his side.  
Isagi 几小时后醒来，感到有些不对劲。腹部和侧边传来难以忍受的疼痛。