6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person
6 个残酷的事实会让你成为更好的人

6 The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You
世界只关心它能从你身上得到什么

Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.
假设你最爱的人刚刚中枪。他或她躺在大街上，流血不止，尖叫不止。一个人冲上来说 "让开"他看了看你最爱的人的枪伤，掏出一把小刀--他要当街动手术。

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"
你问："你是医生吗？"

The guy says, "No." 那家伙说 "不"

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."
你说，"但你知道自己在做什么，对吧？你是个老军医，还是......"

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.
这时，这家伙变得恼羞成怒。他告诉你，他是个好人，他很诚实，他总是很准时。他告诉你，他是他母亲的好儿子，有丰富的生活和充实的爱好，他还吹嘘自己从不说粗话。

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"
你困惑地说："我躺在这里流血，这些他妈的有什么关系！我需要一个懂枪伤手术的人！你到底行不行？"

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?
现在，这个男人变得激动起来--你为什么这么肤浅和自私？你难道不在乎他的其他优点吗？你刚才不是听到他说他总是记得他女朋友的生日吗？鉴于他所做的所有好事，他是否会做手术真的重要吗？

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."
在那个惊慌失措的时刻，你会拿起你血淋淋的双手，摇晃着他的肩膀，尖叫着说："是的，我说的是，其他的狗屁都不重要，因为在这种特殊情况下，我只需要一个会止血的人，你这个该死的疯子。"

So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.
这就是我对成人世界的可怕真相：你每天都会遇到这种情况。只不过你是那个拿着小刀的糊涂蛋。整个社会都是血流成河的枪伤受害者。

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.
如果你想知道为什么社会似乎对你避之不及，或者为什么你似乎得不到尊重，那是因为社会上到处都是需要帮助的人。他们需要房子，需要食物，需要娱乐，需要美满的性关系。由于你的出生，你拿着小刀来到了紧急事件的现场--从你来到这个世界的那一刻起，你就成为了一个纯粹为满足人们需求而设计的系统的一部分。

Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills, or the world will reject you, no matter how inoffensive and courteous you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, you will be left out in the cold. Does that seem mean, or crass, or materialistic? What about love and kindness -- don't those things matter? Of course. As long as they result in you doing things for people that they can't get elsewhere. For you see ...
要么你通过学习一套独特的技能来完成满足这些需求的任务，要么这个世界就会拒绝你，无论你多么无礼，多么彬彬有礼。你会贫穷，你会孤独，你会被冷落。这是否显得刻薄、粗鲁或唯物主义？那么爱和仁慈呢 -- 难道这些东西不重要吗？当然重要。只要你为人们做了他们在别处得不到的事情。你看...

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5 The Hippies Were Wrong
嬉皮士错了

Here is the greatest scene in the history of movies (WARNING: EXTREME NSFW LANGUAGE):
这是电影史上最伟大的一幕（警告：极度非礼语言）：

For those of you who can't watch videos, it's the famous speech Alec Baldwin gives in the cinematic masterpiece Glengarry Glenn Ross. Baldwin's character -- whom you assume is the villain -- addresses a room full of dudes and tears them a new asshole, telling them that they're all about to be fired unless they "close" the sales they've been assigned:
对于那些不会看视频的人来说，这是亚历克-鲍德温（Alec Baldwin）在电影杰作《格伦-罗斯》（Glengarry Glenn Ross）中发表的著名演讲。鲍德温饰演的角色--你会认为他是个大反派--对着一屋子的人大放厥词，告诉他们除非 "完成 "分配给他们的销售任务，否则就会被炒鱿鱼：

"Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. If you want to work here, close."
"好人？我才不在乎呢好父亲？去你妈的回家和你的孩子们玩去吧如果你想在这里工作 就关门吧"

It's brutal, rude, and borderline sociopathic, and also it is an honest and accurate expression of what the world is going to expect from you. The difference is that, in the real world, people consider it so wrong to talk to you that way that they've decided it's better to simply let you keep failing.
这是一种残酷、粗鲁、近乎反社会的行为，同时也是对世界对你的期望的诚实而准确的表达。不同的是，在现实世界中，人们认为用这种方式跟你说话是非常错误的，所以他们决定还是让你继续失败下去。

That scene changed my life. I'd program my alarm clock to play it for me every morning if I knew how. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for that movieand that's the only scene he's in. As smarter people have pointed out, the genius of that speech is that half of the people who watch it think that the point of the scene is "Wow, what must it be like to have such an asshole boss?" and the other half think, "Fuck yes, let's go out and sell some goddamned real estate!"
那一幕改变了我的生活。如果我知道怎么做的话，我会把闹钟设置成每天早上为我播放这一幕。亚历克-鲍德温（Alec Baldwin）因为这部电影获得了奥斯卡提名，而那是他出演的唯一一场戏。 正如更聪明的人指出的那样，那段演讲的天才之处在于，一半的人认为那场戏的重点是 "哇，有个这么混蛋的老板是什么感觉？"而另一半人则认为，"他妈的对，让我们出去卖点该死的房地产吧！"

Or, as the Last Psychiatrist blog put it:
或者，正如 "最后的精神病医生 "博客所说：

"If you were in that room, some of you would understand this as a work, but feed off the energy of the message anyway, welcome the coach's cursing at you, 'this guy is awesome!'; while some of you would take it personally, this guy is a jerk, you have no right to talk to me like that, or -- the standard maneuver when narcissism is confronted with a greater power -- quietly seethe and fantasize about finding information that will out him as a hypocrite. So satisfying."
"如果你在那个房间里，你们中的一些人会理解这是一部作品，但无论如何都会吸收信息的能量，欢迎教练对你的咒骂，'这家伙真棒！'；而你们中的一些人则会把它当作个人行为，这家伙是个混蛋，你无权这样对我说话，或者--当自恋面对更强大的力量时的标准手法--静静地发怒，幻想着找到能揭穿他是个伪君子的信息。真是令人满意"。

That excerpt is from an insightful critique of "hipsters" and why they seem to have so much trouble getting jobs (that doesn't begin to do it justice, go read the whole thing), and the point is that the difference in those two attitudes -- bitter vs. motivated -- largely determines whether or not you'll succeed in the world. For instance, some people want to respond to that speech with Tyler Durden's line fromFight Club: "You are not your job."
这段话节选自一篇对 "潮人 "的深刻批判，以及为什么他们似乎很难找到工作（这还不足以说明问题，去读读整篇文章吧），重点是这两种态度的差异--苦闷与上进--在很大程度上决定了你能否在这个世界上取得成功。例如，有些人想用《搏击俱乐部》中泰勒-德顿的台词来回应这篇演讲："你不是你的工作"

But, well, actually, you totally are. Granted, your "job" and your means of employment might not be the same thing, but in both cases, you are nothing more than the sum total of your useful skills. For instance, being a good mother is a job that requires a skill. It's something a person can do that is useful to other members of society. But make no mistake: Your "job" -- the useful thing you do for other people -- is all you are.
但实际上，你就是你的工作。诚然，你的 "工作 "和你的就业手段可能不是一回事，但在这两种情况下，你不过是你有用技能的总和。例如，做一个好妈妈就是一份需要技能的工作。这是一个人可以做的对社会其他成员有用的事情。但不要搞错了：你的 "工作"--你为别人做的有用的事情--就是你的全部。

There is a reason why surgeons get more respect than comedy writers. There is a reason mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters. There is a reason your job will become your label if your death makes the news ("NFL Linebacker Dies in Murder/Suicide"). Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company and became the head of an international social and political movement. He was totally his job.
外科医生比喜剧编剧更受尊重是有原因的。机械师比失业的时髦人士更受尊重，这是有原因的。如果你的死亡成为新闻（"NFL后卫死于谋杀/自杀"），你的工作就会成为你的标签，这是有原因的。泰勒说过："你不是你的工作。"但他也创立并经营了一家成功的肥皂公司，并成为国际社会和政治运动的领袖。他完全是他的工作。

Or think of it this way: Remember when Chick-fil-A came out against gay marriage? And how despite the protests, the company continues to sell millions of sandwiches every day? It's not because the country agrees with them; it's because they do their job of making delicious sandwiches well. And that's all that matters. You don't have to like it. I don't like it when it rains on my birthday. It rains anyway. Clouds form and precipitation happens. People have needs and thus assign value to the people who meet them. These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes.
或者这样想：还记得 Chick-fil-A 站出来反对同性恋婚姻吗？尽管抗议声不断，该公司每天仍能卖出数百万个三明治？这并不是因为全国人民都同意他们的观点，而是因为他们做好了自己的本职工作--制作美味的三明治。这才是最重要的。你不必喜欢它。我不喜欢我生日那天下雨。但还是会下雨云层形成，降水发生。人们有需求，因此对满足需求的人赋予价值。这些都是宇宙的简单机制，它们不会对我们的愿望做出回应。

If you protest that you're not a shallow capitalist materialist and that you disagree that money is everything, I can only say: Who said anything about money? You're missing the larger point.
如果你抗议说你不是一个肤浅的资本主义唯物主义者，你不同意金钱就是一切，我只能说：谁说钱是万能的？你忽略了更重要的一点。

Related:How Mediocrity Can Quietly Destroy Us All
相关链接：平庸如何悄无声息地毁灭我们所有人

4 What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People
你制作的东西不一定要赚钱，但一定要造福人类

Let's try a non-money example so you don't get hung up on that. The demographic that Cracked writes for is heavy on 20-something males. So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world (these days, they've adopted the name, "Incels"). I can explain what is wrong with this mindset, but it would probably be better if I let Alec Baldwin explain it:
让我们举一个非金钱的例子，这样你就不会纠结于这个问题了。Cracked 的读者群主要是 20 多岁的男性。因此，在我们的留言板上和我的许多收件箱里，我每年都能读到几十个悲惨、孤独的男人的故事，他们坚持认为，尽管他们是世界上最好的男人，但女人还是不愿意靠近他们（如今，他们已经采用了 "Incels "这个名字）。我可以解释这种心态有什么问题，但让亚历克-鲍德温（Alec Baldwin）来解释可能会更好：

In this case, Baldwin is playing the part of the attractive women in your life. They won't put it as bluntly as he does -- society has trained us not to be this honest with people -- but the equation is the same. "Nice guy? Who gives a shit? If you want to work here, close."
在这种情况下，鲍德温扮演的是你生活中的魅力女性。她们不会像他说得那么直白--社会训练我们不要对人这么诚实--但等式是一样的。"好男人？谁鸟他？如果你想在这里工作，关门吧。"

So, what do you bring to the table? Because the girl in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do?
那你能给我们带来什么？因为你一直在做白日梦的那个书店女孩 每天晚上都要在脸上涂一个小时的保湿霜 而且当她午餐只吃沙拉时会感到内疚她十年后将成为一名外科医生。你会怎么做？

"What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"
"什么，你是说除非我有份好工作 赚很多钱，否则就泡不到这样的女孩？"

No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by assuming they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?
不，你的大脑会得出这样的结论，这样你就有借口撇开所有拒绝你的人，认为她们只是肤浅和自私。我在问你能提供什么？你聪明吗？有趣吗？有趣吗？有才华？有抱负？有创造力？好了，现在你该如何向世界展示这些特质呢？不要说你是个好人，那是最起码的。漂亮女孩每天都有男人对她们好 36 次。病人在街上流血。你到底会不会做手术？

"Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!"
"好吧，我不是性别歧视者，不是种族主义者，不是贪婪者，不是肤浅者，也不是虐待者！不像其他那些混蛋！"

I'm sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don't have, then back the fuck away from the patient. There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising career ready to step in and operate.
对不起，我知道这很难听，但如果你只能列出一堆你没有的缺点，那就他妈的离病人远点。有一个机智英俊、前途无量的家伙正准备介入手术。

Does that break your heart? OK, so now what? Are you going to mope about it, or are you going to learn how to do surgery? It's up to you, but don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. "But I'm a great listener!" Are you? Because you're willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well, guess what, there's another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is "The actors are clearly visible."
你心碎了吗？好吧，现在怎么办？你是要闷闷不乐，还是要学习如何做手术？这取决于你自己，但不要抱怨女孩们怎么会喜欢上那些混蛋；她们喜欢上那些混蛋，是因为那些混蛋还有其他可以提供的东西。"但我是个很好的倾听者！"你是吗？因为你愿意安静地坐着，以换取与漂亮女孩亲近的机会（并且每分每秒都在想象她的皮肤一定很柔软）？好吧，你猜怎么着，在她的生活中还有另一个男人也知道怎么做，而且他会弹吉他。说你是个好男人就像一家餐厅，唯一的卖点就是食物不会让你恶心。你就像一部新电影，片名是《这部电影是英文的》，标语是 "演员清晰可见"。

I think this is why you can be a "nice guy" and still feel terrible about yourself. Specifically ...
我想这就是为什么你可以做一个 "好人"，却仍然对自己感觉糟糕的原因。具体来说...

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3 You Hate Yourself Because You Don't Do Anything
你恨自己，因为你什么都不做

"So, what, you're saying that I should pick up a book on how to get girls?"
"那你的意思是 我应该去买一本关于如何泡妞的书？"

Only if step one in the book is "Start making yourself into the type of person girls want to be around."
前提是书中的第一步是 "开始把自己打造成女孩们想接近的那种人"

Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to changeyour personality.
因为这一步被跳过了 -- 总是 "我怎样才能找到工作？"而不是 "我怎样才能成为雇主想要的那种人？"是 "我怎样才能让漂亮女孩喜欢我？"而不是 "我怎样才能成为漂亮女孩喜欢的那种人？"你看，因为第二种说法很可能要求你放弃许多自己喜欢的爱好，更加注重自己的外表，天知道还有什么别的要求。你甚至可能需要改变自己的个性。

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?
"你问："但为什么我不能找到一个只喜欢我自己的人呢？答案是因为人类需要一些东西。受害者在流血，而你却只能低头抱怨没有更多的枪伤可以自行愈合？

Here's another video (NSFW):
下面是另一段视频（NSFW）：

Everyone who watched that video instantly became a little happier, although not all for the same reasons. Can you do that for people? Why not? What's stopping you from strapping on your proverbial thong and cape and taking to your proverbial stage and flapping your proverbial penis at people? That guy knows the secret to winning at human life: that doing ... whatever you call that ... was better than not doing it.
每个看过这段视频的人都立刻变得开心起来，虽然原因不尽相同。你能为人们做到这一点吗？为什么不呢？有什么能阻止你穿上你那众所周知的丁字裤和斗篷，走上你那众所周知的舞台，对着人们拍打你那众所周知的阴茎？那个人知道在人类生活中获胜的秘诀：做......不管你怎么称呼......总比不做要好。

"But I'm not good at anything!" Well, I have good news -- throw enough hours of repetition at it and you can get sort of good at anything. I was the world's shittiest writer when I was an infant. I was only slightly better at 25. But while I was failing miserably at my career, I wrote in my spare time for eight straight years, an article a week, before I ever made real money off it. It took 13 years for me to get good enough to make the New York Times best-seller list. It took me probably 20,000 hours of practice to sand the edges off my sucking.
"但我什么都不擅长！"好吧，我有个好消息--重复足够多的时间，你就能在任何事情上取得一定的成绩。我还是婴儿的时候是世界上最糟糕的作家。到了 25 岁，我才稍微好一点。但是，当我在事业上惨遭失败时，我连续八年利用业余时间写作，每周一篇文章，然后才真正赚到钱。我花了 13 年时间才写得足够好，能够登上《纽约时报》畅销书排行榜。我大概花了两万个小时的练习，才把我的 "烂 "字去掉了棱角。

Don't like the prospect of pouring all of that time into a skill? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the sheer act of practicing will help you come out of your shell -- I got through years of tedious office work because I knew that I was learning a unique skill on the side. People quit because it takes too long to see results, because they can't figure out that the process is the result.
不喜欢把所有时间都花在一项技能上？我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。好消息是，纯粹的练习行为会帮助你走出自己的 "壳"--我之所以能熬过多年乏味的办公室工作，是因为我知道，我正在学习一门独特的副业技能。人们之所以放弃，是因为要花很长时间才能看到结果，因为他们不明白过程就是结果。

The bad news is that you have no other choice. If you want to work here, close.
坏消息是，你别无选择。如果你想在这里工作，那就关门吧。

Because in my non-expert opinion, you don't hate yourself because you have low self-esteem, or because other people were mean to you. You hate yourself because you don't do anything. Not even you can just "love you for you" -- that's why you're miserable and sending me private messages asking me what I think you should do with your life. Do the math: How much of your time is spent consuming things other people made (TV, music, video games, websites) versus making your own? Only one of those adds to your value as a human being.
因为在我这个非专业人士看来，你讨厌自己并不是因为你自卑，也不是因为别人对你刻薄。你恨自己是因为你什么都不做。连你自己都不能 "因为你自己而爱你自己" -- 这就是为什么你很痛苦，给我发私信问我觉得你的生活应该怎么过。算算吧：你有多少时间是用来消费别人的东西（电视、音乐、电子游戏、网站），而不是自己创造？其中只有一个能增加你作为人的价值。

"But the whole system is corrupt and on the verge of collapse, what difference does any of this make?" Friend, if the system falls apart, take everything I've said above and multiply it times a thousand. The person without skill and drive will not be given food. The new masters may fly the banner of equality, but you'll slowly notice that the talented and charismatic are still getting the best stuff. That won't change in your lifetime, or in the lifetimes of your great-grandchildren.
"但整个系统已经腐败不堪，濒临崩溃，这些又有什么区别呢？"朋友，如果这个系统崩溃了，把我上面所说的一切乘以一千倍。没有技能和干劲的人将得不到食物。新主人可能会打着平等的旗号，但你会慢慢发现，有才能、有魅力的人仍然能得到最好的东西。在你的有生之年，或者在你的曾孙的有生之年，这一点都不会改变。

Related:5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk
相关：5 个残酷的事实让你不再是个混蛋

2 What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do
你的内心世界之所以重要，是因为它让你做了什么

"But it's what's on the inside that matters! My mom said so!"
"但内在的东西才是最重要的！我妈妈就是这么说的！"

Being in the business I'm in, I know dozens of aspiring writers. They think of themselves as writers, they introduce themselves as writers at parties, they know that deep inside, they have the heart of a writer. The only thing they're missing is that minor final step, where theyactually fucking write things.
在我所从事的行业中，我认识几十个有抱负的作家。他们认为自己是作家，他们在聚会上介绍自己是作家，他们知道自己内心深处有一颗作家的心。他们唯一欠缺的就是最后那小小的一步，那就是真正写出东西来。

But really, does that matter? Is "writing things" all that important when deciding who is and who is not truly a "writer"?
但是，这真的重要吗？在决定谁是谁不是真正的 "作家 "时，"写东西 "就那么重要吗？

For the love of God, yes.
看在上帝的份上，是的。

See, there's a common defense to everything I've said so far, and to every critical voice in your life. It's the thing your ego is saying to you in order to prevent you from having to do the hard work of improving: "I know I'm a good person on the inside." It may also be phrased as "I know who I am" or "I just have to be me."
看，对于我迄今为止所说的一切，以及你生活中的每一个批评声音，都有一个共同的辩护理由。这是你的自我在对你说的话 为了阻止你做艰苦的改进工作"我知道我内心是个好人"。它也可能被表述为 "我知道我是谁 "或 "我只需要做我自己"。

Don't get me wrong; who you are inside is everything -- the guy who built a house for his family from scratch did it because of who he was inside. Every bad thing you've ever done has started with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheting around inside your skull until you had to act on it. And every good thing you've done is the same -- "who you are inside" is the metaphorical dirt from which your fruit grows. But here's what everyone needs to know, and what many of you can't accept:
别误会我的意思，你的内心就是一切--那个白手起家为家人盖房子的人就是因为他的内心。你做过的每一件坏事都源于一个坏的冲动，一些念头在你的脑子里回旋，直到你不得不付诸行动。而你所做的每一件好事也是如此--"你的内心 "就是你果实生长的隐喻泥土。但是，每个人都需要知道的是，你们中的很多人都无法接受这一点：

"You" are nothing but the fruit.
你 "只不过是果实而已。

Nobody cares about your dirt. "Who you are inside" is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people.
没人在乎你的污垢。"你的内心 "除了对他人产生的影响之外，毫无意义。

Inside, you have great compassion for poor people. Great. Does that result in you doing anything about it? Do you hear about some terrible tragedy in your community and say, "Oh, those poor children. Let them know that they are in my thoughts"? Because fuck you if so -- find out what they need and help provide it. A hundred million people send thoughts and prayers after every mass shooting. What did the collective power of those good thoughts provide? Jack fucking shit. Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing. It's an internal mechanism controlled by the lazy part of your brain to keep you from actually doing work.
在你的内心深处，你非常同情穷人。很好。那你会为此做些什么吗？你会不会听到你所在的社区发生了一些可怕的悲剧，然后说："哦，那些可怜的孩子。让他们知道我在想着他们"？如果是这样，那就去你妈的吧！找出他们需要什么，并帮助提供。每次大规模枪击案发生后，都会有一亿人为他们祈祷。这些善念的集体力量提供了什么？屁都没有。每天都有儿童死亡，因为我们数以百万计的人告诉自己，关心和行动一样重要。这是一种由大脑懒惰部分控制的内在机制，目的是让你不去真正做事。

How many of you are walking around right now saying, "She/he would love me if she/he only knew what an interesting person I am!" Really? How do all of your interesting thoughts and ideas manifest themselves in the world? What do they cause you to do? If your dream girl or guy had a hidden camera that followed you around for a month, would they be impressed with what they saw? Remember, they can't read your mind -- they can only observe. Would they want to be a part of that life?
你们当中有多少人现在走来走去都在说："如果她/他知道我是一个多么有趣的人，她/他会爱上我的！"真的吗？你那些有趣的想法和主意是如何在世界上显现出来的？它们会让你做什么？如果你的梦中情人有一台隐藏摄像机，跟踪你一个月，他们会对你的所作所为印象深刻吗？记住，他们无法读懂你的想法--他们只能观察。他们愿意成为你生活的一部分吗？

Because all I'm asking you to do is apply the same standard to yourself that you apply to everyone else. Don't you have that annoying Christian friend whose only offer to help anyone ever is to "pray for them"? Doesn't it drive you nuts? I'm not even commenting on whether or not prayer works; it doesn't change the fact that they chose the one type of help that doesn't require them to get off the sofa. They abstain from every vice, they think clean thoughts, their internal dirt is as pure as can be, but what fruit grows from it? And they should know this better than anybody -- I stole the fruit metaphor from the Bible. Jesus said something to the effect of "a tree is judged by its fruit" over and over and over. Granted, Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, close." No, he said, " Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."
因为我所要求你做的，只是对你自己采用与对其他人相同的标准。你是不是有一个讨厌的基督徒朋友，他唯一能帮助别人的就是 "为他们祈祷"？这难道不会让你抓狂吗？我甚至不评论祈祷是否有效；这并不能改变他们选择了一种不需要他们离开沙发的帮助的事实。他们戒除一切恶习，思想洁净，内心的污垢纯洁如初，但从中结出了什么果实呢？他们应该比任何人都清楚这一点--我是从《圣经》中盗用了 "果实 "这个比喻。耶稣曾反复说过 "以果论树"。当然，耶稣从没说过 "如果你想在这里工作，就关门吧"。不，他说，"凡不结好果子的树，都要砍下来，丢在火里"。

The people didn't react well to being told that, just as the salesmen didn't react well to Alec Baldwin telling them that they needed to grow some balls or resign themselves to shining his shoes. Which brings us to the final point ...
人们对这句话的反应并不好，就像推销员对亚历克-鲍德温（Alec Baldwin）说他们需要长点胆量，否则就只能给他擦鞋一样。这就引出了最后一点......

Related: 6 Things That Are Secretly Turning You Into A Bad Person
相关内容6 件秘密地把你变成坏人的事

1 Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement
你内心的一切都将与改进作斗争

The human mind is a miracle, and you will never see it spring more beautifully into action than when it is fighting against evidence that it needs to change. Your psyche is equipped with layer after layer of defense mechanisms designed to shoot down anything that might keep things from staying exactly where they are -- ask any addict.So even now, some of you reading this are feeling your brain bombard you with knee-jerk reasons to reject it. From experience, I can say that these seem to come in the form of ...
人类的大脑是一个奇迹，当它与需要改变的证据作斗争时，你将永远不会看到它更美妙的行动。你的心理配备了一层又一层的防御机制，旨在击溃任何可能阻止事情保持原样的东西--问问任何一个瘾君子吧。因此，即使是现在，你们中的一些人在读这篇文章时，也会感觉到你的大脑在用膝盖猛烈地轰击你，让你拒绝接受它。根据经验，我可以说这些理由似乎是以...

*Intentionally Interpreting Any Criticism as an Insult
*故意将任何批评理解为侮辱

"Who is he to call me lazy and worthless! A good person would never talk to me like this! He wrote this whole thing just to feel superior to me and to make me feel bad about my life! I'm going to think up my own insult to even the score!"
"他凭什么说我又懒又没用！一个好人绝不会这样对我说话！他写这整篇文章就是为了觉得自己比我优越，让我对自己的生活感到难过！我要想出我自己的侮辱来扳平比分！"

*Focusing on the Messenger to Avoid Hearing the Message
*关注信使，避免聆听信息

"Who is THIS guy to tell ME how to live? Oh, like he's so high and mighty! It's just some dumb writer on the Internet! I'm going to go dig up something on him that reassures me that he's stupid, and that everything he's saying is stupid! This guy is so pretentious, it makes me puke!"
"这家伙凭什么告诉我怎么生活？哦，好像他多么高高在上似的！不过是个网上的蠢作家罢了！我要去挖点关于他的东西，让我确信他很蠢，他说的一切都是蠢话！这家伙太自命不凡了，让我作呕！"

*Focusing on the Tone to Avoid Hearing the Content
*只注重音调而忽略内容

"I'm going to dig through here until I find a joke that is offensive when taken out of context, and then talk and think only about that! I've heard that a single offensive word can render an entire book invisible!"
"我要把这里翻个底朝天，直到找到一个断章取义的冒犯性笑话，然后只针对这个笑话说话和思考！我听说，一个冒犯性的词可以让整本书都看不见！"

*Revising Your Own History
*修正自己的历史

"Things aren't so bad! I know that I was threatening suicide last month, but I'm feeling better now! It's entirely possible that if I just keep doing exactly what I'm doing, eventually things will work out! I'll get my big break, and if I keep doing favors for that pretty girl, eventually she'll come around!"
"情况没那么糟！我知道我上个月还威胁要自杀，但我现在感觉好多了！完全有可能，如果我继续做我现在做的事，最终事情会解决的！我会得到我的重大突破 如果我继续帮那个漂亮女孩的忙 最终她会回心转意的！"

*Pretending That Any Self-Improvement Would Somehow Be Selling Out Your True Self
*假装任何自我提升都是在出卖真正的自我

"Oh, so I guess I'm supposed to get rid of all of my manga and instead go to the gym for six hours a day and get a spray tan? Because THAT IS THE ONLY OTHER OPTION."
"哦，所以我想我应该把我所有的漫画都扔掉，每天去健身房锻炼六个小时，然后喷上美黑喷雾？因为这是唯一的选择"。

*Delaying any self-improvement until the entire world changes to accommodate you
*推迟任何自我完善，直到整个世界为适应你而改变

"If I work hard, I'll just be perpetuating a corrupt system! Granted, the system has no reason to listen to me as long as I'm not contributing anything, thus ensuring that I'll never be in a position to help change it, but still!"
"如果我努力工作，我只是在延续腐败的制度！当然，只要我不做任何贡献，这个制度就没有理由听我的，从而确保我永远无法帮助改变这个制度，但我还是要努力！"

And so on. Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort. Also, courage -- it's incredibly comforting to know that as long as you don't create anything in your life, then nobody can attack the thing you created. It's so much easier to just sit back and criticize other people's creations. This movie is stupid. That couple's kids are brats. That other couple's relationship is a mess. That rich guy is shallow. This restaurant sucks. This Internet writer is an asshole. I'd better leave a mean comment demanding that the website fire him. See, I created something.
诸如此类。记住，痛苦是舒服的。这就是为什么那么多人喜欢痛苦。幸福需要付出努力。另外，勇气 -- 只要你不在生活中创造任何东西，那么就没有人能攻击你创造的东西，这让人感到无比安慰。坐着批评别人的创造物要容易得多。这部电影太蠢了那对夫妇的孩子太顽皮那对夫妇的关系一团糟。那个有钱人很肤浅这家餐馆太烂了。这个网络作家是个混蛋。我最好留言要求网站炒了他。看，我创造了一些东西。

Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that part? Yeah, whatever you try to build or create -- be it a poem, or a new skill, or a new relationship -- you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators who trash it. Maybe not to your face, but they'll do it. Your drunk friends do not want you to get sober. Your fat friends do not want you to start a fitness regimen. Your jobless friends do not want to see you embark on a career.
哦，等等，我是不是忘了说这部分了？是的，无论你尝试创造什么，无论是一首诗，还是一项新技能，或是一段新关系，你都会发现自己身边马上就会出现一些非创造者，他们会对你的作品大加挞伐。也许不会当着你的面，但他们会这么做。你的酒肉朋友不希望你清醒。你的胖子朋友不希望你开始健身。你的失业朋友不希望你开始职业生涯。

Just remember, they're only expressing their own fear, since trashing other people's work is another excuse to do nothing. "Why should I create anything when the things other people create suck? I would totally have written a novel by now, but I'm going to wait for something good, I don't want to write the next Twilight!" As long as they never produce anything, their work will forever be perfect and beyond reproach. Or if they do produce something, they'll make sure they do it with detached irony. They'll make it intentionally bad to make it clear to everyone else that this isn't their real effort. Their real effort would have been amazing. Not like the shit you made.
请记住，他们只是在表达自己的恐惧，因为诋毁别人的作品只是他们无所事事的另一个借口。"别人的作品都很烂，我为什么还要创作？我现在完全可以写一本小说了，但我要等待好的作品，我不想写下一部《暮光之城》！"只要他们从未创作出任何作品，他们的作品就永远是完美的，无可指责的。或者说，即使他们写出了作品，他们也会确保自己的作品带着超然的讽刺意味。他们会故意把作品做得很糟糕，让其他人明白这不是他们真正的努力。他们真正的努力会让人惊叹而不是像你做的那样

Don't be that person. If you are that person, don't be that person anymore. This is what's making people hate you. This is what's making you hate yourself.
不要成为那样的人。如果你是那样的人，就不要再做那样的人了。这就是人们讨厌你的原因这就是让你讨厌自己的原因。

So how about this: one year from now, that's our deadline. While other people are telling you "Let's make a New Year's resolution to lose 15 pounds this year!" I'm going to say let's pledge to do fucking anything -- add any skill, any improvement to your human tool set, and get good enough at it to impress people. Don't ask me what -- hell, pick something at random if you don't know. Take a class in karate, or ballroom dancing, or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Film a porno. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime. Start a YouTube vlog. Write for Cracked.
这样吧：一年后，这是我们的最后期限。当其他人告诉你 "我们来做个新年计划，今年减掉 15 磅！"的时候，我想说的是，让我们承诺做任何事我想说的是，让我们承诺做他妈的任何事情--在你的人类工具包中添加任何技能、任何改进，并在这方面做得足够好，给人们留下深刻印象。别问我是什么，如果你不知道，随便选一个。学空手道、交际舞或陶艺。学烘焙。建一个鸟巢。学按摩。学一门编程语言拍一部色情电影扮演超级英雄，打击犯罪。开始 YouTube 视频博客 为 Cracked 写文章。

But the key is, I don't want you to focus on something great that you're going to make happen to you ("I'm going to find a girlfriend, I'm going to make lots of money ..."). I want you to purely focus on giving yourself a skill that would make you ever so slightly more interesting and valuable to other people."I don't have the money to take a cooking class." Then fucking Google "how to cook." Damn it, you have to kill those excuses. Or they will kill you.
但关键在于，我不希望你把注意力放在你要实现的伟大事情上（"我要找到女朋友，我要赚很多钱......"）。我希望你纯粹专注于让自己掌握一门技能，这门技能会让你对其他人更有趣、更有价值。"我没钱去上烹饪课"。那就他妈的谷歌一下 "如何烹饪"。该死的，你必须扼杀这些借口。否则它们会害死你。

You have nothing to lose, and the world needs you, now more than ever. Here's a video of a corgi rolling down some stairs.
你没有什么可失去的，这个世界需要你，现在比以往任何时候都更需要你。这是一段柯基犬滚下楼梯的视频。

Jason "David Wong" Pargin is the Former Executive Editor at Cracked. Follow him on Twitter or on Facebook or YouTube or Instagram.
Jason "David Wong" Pargin 是 Cracked 的前执行编辑。请在 Twitter、Facebook、YouTube 或 Instagram 上关注他。

Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
请访问我们的 "捐款页面"，支持您喜爱的 Cracked 作者。谢谢。

For more, check out 5 Things The Worst People In The World Love Doing In Public:
欲了解更多信息，请查看世界上最糟糕的人最喜欢在公共场合做的 5 件事：

The first-ever Cracked Podcast LIVE TOUR is coming to a city near (some of) you this spring! Tickets on sale now for Chicago IL (April 11th) and St. Paul MN (April 12th).
今年春天，有史以来第一次 Cracked Podcast 现场巡演将在你们附近的城市举行！伊利诺伊州芝加哥（4 月 11 日）和明尼苏达州圣保罗（4 月 12 日）的门票现已开始发售。

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在 Facebook 上关注我们。因为我们在一起。