Archive of Our Own ^beta
我们自己的档案 ^beta

Others might get bored of the monotony, but Henry lives for it. He wakes to the sunshine on his face, streaming through his blinds and he stretches his arms above his head, his feet catching on his dog’s tiny form curled up at the end of the bed. He had found David wandering the woods a few years back, malnourished and skittish - Henry had been half convinced he was a shapeshifter. It had taken him days of scraps and bowls of water to get the dog to take a precarious step towards him, nose sniffing wildly.
其他人可能会厌倦这种单调的生活，但亨利却乐在其中。一觉醒来，阳光透过百叶窗洒在他的脸上，他把胳膊伸到头顶，脚碰到了蜷缩在床尾的小狗的小身子。几年前，他在树林里发现了大卫，当时它营养不良，而且很胆小--亨利一直以为它是个变形怪。他花了好几天的时间给这只狗喂食和喝水，才让它朝他迈出了不稳定的一步，鼻子疯狂地嗅着。

When he had nuzzled his snout into Henry’s palm, he had been sold. The dog had become his only companion in half a decade and while he hadn’t been looking for it, the company was welcomed. Now Henry couldn’t imagine life without David by his side, curled up at his feet in front of the fire after a long day, dashing through the front garden in pursuit of a butterfly in the summer sun. Part of him wonders if David knows something is different about him, and if he would even care if he did. 
当它把鼻子凑到亨利的掌心时，它就被卖掉了。这只狗成了他半年来唯一的伙伴，虽然他并不想要它，但还是很欢迎它的陪伴。现在，亨利无法想象没有戴维在身边的生活，忙碌了一天的戴维蜷缩在他脚边的火炉前，在夏日的阳光下穿过前花园追逐蝴蝶。他不知道戴维是否知道他有些与众不同，也不知道他是否会在意。

He gets out of bed, waves his finger and walks out of the room as his bed dresses itself, pointedly not disturbing David who is still in a peaceful slumber, his snores echoing around the house. He waves his finger again as he walks down the stairs, the blinds on the windows flipping themselves open, filling his home with sunlight. 
他下了床，挥了挥手指，走出了房间，他的床也自己穿上了衣服，他特意没有打扰大卫，大卫还在安睡，鼾声在屋子里回荡。走下楼梯时，他又挥了挥手指，窗户上的百叶窗自动打开，阳光洒满了他的家。

By the time he makes it to the kitchen, breakfast is already entirely made, laid out on the tablecloth, knife and fork hovering midair, ready for him to take them. Yes, he could use magic to spoon the food into his mouth, but he doesn’t want to be reliant on it of course. He eats his eggs and waves his finger to flip through his latest read, a weathered copy of Paradise Lost that he had been meaning to get to in the last few years.
当他赶到厨房时，早餐已经全部做好了，摆在桌布上，刀叉悬浮在半空中，随时等着他去拿。是的，他可以用魔法把食物勺到嘴里，但他当然不想依赖魔法。他吃着鸡蛋，挥动手指翻阅他最新的读物，一本风化了的《失乐园》，这是他最近几年一直想看的。

When he finishes his food, his plates are already washing themselves as David trots into the kitchen, his bowl full and waiting for him. He munches happily as Henry waves his finger again and he’s fully dressed. As he climbs to his feet, book floating alongside him, he chances a glance at the clock and realises that he’s only been awake for eight minutes.
当戴维小跑着走进厨房时，他吃完了食物，盘子已经洗好了，碗里满满地等着他。当亨利再次挥动手指时，他已经穿戴整齐，开心地大快朵颐。当他站起来时，书本飘在他身边，他偶然看了一眼时钟，发现自己只醒了八分钟。

But such is the life he has chosen to lead, and he’s happy , he knows he is. It’s taken him a long time to get this far since he had been shunned to the woods but he is happy, he wants for nothing.
但这就是他选择的生活，他很快乐，他知道他很快乐。自从他被赶到森林后，他花了很长时间才走到这一步，但他很快乐，他什么都不缺。

He’s completely entirely happy.
他完全是幸福的。

He is . 他是.

–

The one thing he doesn’t use his magic for, is his garden. It was something he had never anticipated on starting until he had been banished to the woods. His mother had always loved her own garden, and some of Henry’s fondest memories from childhood involve him knelt at her feet, watching her plant bulbs with the widest smile on her face. His father would appear, almost from thin air, and scoop him into his arms as he squealed, the summer sun blazing down on him all.
他唯一不用魔法的地方就是他的花园。在被放逐到森林之前，他从未想过要开始种花。他的母亲一直很喜欢自己的花园，在亨利童年最美好的记忆中，他曾跪在母亲脚下，看着她种植球茎，脸上洋溢着最灿烂的笑容。他的父亲几乎是凭空出现，在他尖叫的时候把他搂进怀里，夏日的阳光洒在他身上。

He can’t remember the last time he actually smiled.
他都不记得自己上一次真正微笑是什么时候了。

The sun blazes down on him as he kneels in his garden, attempting to pull out a particularly stubborn weed. David is yapping somewhere in the distance, likely in pursuit of a smaller creature and Henry doesn’t have the energy to call him back. His hands are firmly clasped around the weed as he leans back, planting his heels into the ground in his attempts to use his body weight to force it up.
当他跪在花园里，试图拔掉一根特别顽固的杂草时，太阳正炙烤着他。戴维正在远处的某个地方大叫，很可能是在追赶一只更小的动物，亨利没有力气把他叫回来。他的双手紧紧抓住杂草，身体向后仰，脚跟用力踩在地上，试图用身体的重量把杂草拔起来。

“Come on.” He mutters, voice hoarse, “ Get out .”
"快点"他喃喃自语，声音嘶哑，"滚出去"

He knows he can use his magic right now, and if it were for anything else he would have used it already. But something about his garden feels too sacred to sully with the thing that essentially ruined his life. It’s not something he enjoys dwelling on.
他知道自己现在就能使用魔法，如果是为了别的事，他早就用了。但他觉得自己的花园太神圣了，不能被这个毁了他一生的东西玷污。这不是他喜欢纠结的事情。

He can feel the ground beneath the weed begin to crumble and before he can let go, the soil releases it, sending Henry flying backwards, landing flat on his back with a grunt.
他能感觉到杂草下面的地面开始崩塌，还没来得及松手，泥土就松开了它，把亨利打得倒飞出去，咕噜一声平躺在地上。

“Ouch.” He mutters, tossing the weed to the side, not entirely sure of where it’s landed.
"哎哟"他嘟囔着，把杂草扔到一边，也不知道落到了哪里。

He stays on his back, eyes closed as he allows the sun to beat down on him. It’s nice actually, and a luxury he doesn’t often afford himself, spending most of his time holed up inside. The winter is the most difficult, his flowers frozen over and even his magic can’t thaw them for more than minutes at a time.
他仰面躺着，闭着眼睛，任凭阳光洒在身上。其实这样很好，他很少有这样的奢侈，大部分时间都躲在屋里。冬天是最难熬的，他的花被冻住了，即使是他的魔法也无法在几分钟内解冻它们。

“Uh, you alright there?”
"你还好吗？

His eyes snap open to see a face hovering oddly close to his own, wide brown eyes framed by thick luscious lashes that have Henry’s breath stuttering in his chest. In his panic, he sits upright, sending his forehead careening directly into the stranger’s nose.
他猛地睁开眼睛，看到一张离自己很近的脸，棕色的大眼睛被浓密的睫毛衬托得格外迷人，亨利的呼吸在胸腔里打了个结。慌乱中，他坐直了身体，额头直接撞上了陌生人的鼻子。

“Fuck!” The stranger exclaims, falling back and clutching his nose, scrabbling across the grass as he lands flat on his behind, “Jesus!”
"操！"陌生人惊呼一声，向后倒去，捂着鼻子，在草地上乱滚，因为他的屁股着地了，"天哪！"

“I am so sorry!” Henry’s hands fly up to fix his mistake, but he pauses, finger hovering midair.
"我很抱歉！"亨利的双手飞快地举起，想要纠正自己的错误，但他停顿了一下，手指在半空中盘旋。

Something inside of him is screaming at him; danger, danger . He doesn’t use his magic. Instead, he sits upright and scoots back a bit, putting distance between himself and the man. He is cautious, careful.
他内心的某种东西在向他尖叫；危险，危险......。他没有使用魔法。相反，他坐直身体，向后退了一点，拉开了与那人之间的距离。他很谨慎，很小心。

The man tilts his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose as he slides his eyes closed. The action gives Henry a proper chance to look at him, to take in the way his tanned skin is shimmering with sweat, raven curls plastered to his forehead and bright white teeth gritted in pain as they shine at him.
那人把头向后仰，闭上眼睛时捏了捏鼻梁。这个动作让亨利有机会好好看看他，看看他黝黑的皮肤在汗水的浸润下闪闪发光，乌黑的卷发贴在额头上，亮白的牙齿因疼痛而咬得咯咯作响。

“It’s fine.” His breathing is laboured as he finally tilts his head down to show that, thankfully, he isn’t bleeding, “I probably shouldn’t have hovered over you like that. I thought you were dead.”
"没事。"他的呼吸有些急促，终于把头低了下去，幸好没有流血。"我也许不该那样在你身边徘徊。我以为你死了。"

“You thought dead over sunbathing?” Henry can’t help but frown incredulously at the gorgeous man in front of him, “I worry about how you act on the beach.”
"你以为死了就能享受日光浴了？"亨利不禁皱起眉头，难以置信地看着眼前的美男子，"我担心的是你在沙滩上的表现。"

“In my defence, you live in the middle of the woods man. I didn’t even think people did that.” He throws his hands up exasperatedly, but he’s betrayed by the wide grin spreading across his lips, the sight flooring Henry even further.
"我得说，你住在森林里，伙计。我都没想到人们会这么做。"他气呼呼地举起双手，却被他嘴角咧开的笑容出卖了，这一幕让亨利更加沮丧。

He’s suddenly very thankful that he isn’t standing up.
他突然很庆幸自己没有站起来。

“People don’t.” Henry says simply, “I’ve never seen you before.”
"人们不知道"亨利简单地说："我从没见过你。"

“Yeah,” The man chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. He’s still sitting on the grass directly across from Henry, his knees propped up and an arm draped across them, “I only moved to town a few days ago. Figuring out my new jogging route.”
"是啊，"男人笑着揉了揉后颈。他仍然坐在亨利正对面的草地上，膝盖支着，一只胳膊横在膝盖上，"我几天前才搬到镇上。正在琢磨我新的慢跑路线。"

He knows he needs to nip this in the bud before it becomes a habit but, deep down, part of him really does not want to. Part of him wants to smile at this man, allow him into his orbit and see what could come of him. The more rational part of him shuts this thought down instantly.
他知道自己需要在这一习惯养成之前将其扼杀在萌芽状态，但在内心深处，他有一部分真的不想这样做。他的一部分想要对这个男人微笑，让他进入自己的轨道，看看他能带来什么。但他更理性的那部分却立刻打消了这个念头。

Henry sighs, “You shouldn’t jog in the woods.”
亨利叹息道："你不该在树林里慢跑。"

“Why not?” "为什么不呢？"

“They’re dangerous.” "他们很危险"

Or, the thoughts of this man being in his vicinity daily is dangerous to Henry’s mental wellbeing.
或者说，想到这个人每天都在自己身边，亨利的精神健康就会受到威胁。

“You live here.” "你住在这里"

“Exactly. So I know.” He can’t fight the cold tone that slides into his voice as he climbs to his feet, brushing his pants down, “You should go home.”
"没错所以我知道。"他无法抗拒滑入嗓音的冰冷语气，他站起身，刷地脱下裤子，"你该回家了。"

“Woah, hang on a fucking -”
"哇，等一下"

“Don’t come back here.” He turns and goes back into his house without another word, stopping himself from waving a finger to close the door and instead kicks it shut behind him.
"别再回来了"他转过身，一言不发地回到了自己的房子里，他停止了挥动手指关门的动作，而是在身后一脚把门踢上。

David angrily scuffs at the door a few moments later and Henry pulls it open sheepishly to see the dog worming his way inside, clearly peeved at being left alone outside.
过了一会儿，戴维生气地蹭了蹭门，亨利怯怯地拉开门，看到狗在里面蠕动，显然是对被单独留在门外感到恼怒。

“Sorry bud.” He waves his finger to summon his dog a treat, which seems to placate him.
"对不起，小家伙"他挥了挥手指，召唤狗狗吃点东西，这似乎安抚了它。

That night as he curls up in bed, David at his feet, he finds himself unable to sleep as each time he closes his eyes, his mind flashes with dark curls and a blinding smile. It’s a thought he tries to erase, but somehow he knows no amount of magic could get rid of the way that smile made him feel, a warmth he hasn’t felt in a very long time.
那天晚上，他蜷缩在床上，戴维在他的脚边，他发现自己无法入睡，因为每次闭上眼睛，他的脑海中都会闪现出深色的卷发和一个刺眼的微笑。他试图抹去这个念头，但不知为何，他知道再多的魔法也无法抹去那个微笑带给他的感觉，那是一种他很久没有感受过的温暖。

At least Henry had told him to stay away and the stranger, like any sane human being, would do so.
至少亨利让他离远点，而这个陌生人也会像其他正常人一样照做。

–

He should have known better than to believe his life could be that easy.
他早该知道，自己的生活不会那么简单。

The next morning finds him planting tulip bulbs in his flower garden before the winter chill comes and makes the soil uninhabitable. The rest of his flowers are perking up quite nicely, a bloom of colour against the grey paint of his home.
第二天一早，他就在花圃里种上了郁金香球茎，以免冬天的寒气袭来，使土壤无法生长。其余的花也开得很好，在他家灰色油漆的映衬下，显得格外艳丽。

“Hey, you.” "嘿，你"

Henry takes a moment to clench his eyes shut and sigh, willing away the thoughts of using his magic to send this man back to town because he fears he would just storm back with a vengeance.
亨利紧闭双眼，叹了口气，打消了用魔法把这个人送回镇上的念头，因为他担心这个人会报复性地冲回来。

“Ah,” He says as he turns his torso, “it’s you.”
"啊，"他转过躯干说，"是你。"

The man is in a bright red tee and a pair of shorts that seem too short to be considered even those. His arms are crossed over his chest, muscles bulging in a way that has Henry biting on his tongue to keep himself silent.
他穿着一件鲜红色的 T 恤和一条短得不能再短的短裤。他的双臂交叉在胸前，肌肉隆起，让亨利咬着舌头保持沉默。

“Yeah.” He’s glaring down at Henry, feet firmly planted, “What are you gonna do about it?”
"是啊"他瞪着亨利，双脚站稳 "你打算怎么办？"

“ Excuse me?” "你说什么？

“You told me to stay away. And I refused.”
"你让我离你远点我拒绝了"

Henry is torn between wanting to kiss the man and wanting to wrap his hands around his throat and squeeze.
亨利既想亲吻他，又想用手掐住他的喉咙。

“Are you a child ?”
"你是个孩子吗？"

“Not legally.” "不合法"

Henry pinches the bridge of his nose before grimacing at the soil he manages to get on his face, “You are impossible.”
亨利捏了捏鼻梁，然后对着脸上的泥土龇牙咧嘴地说："你真是不可理喻。"

“And you are really fucking mysterious. How dare you dangle a mystery carrot in front of my face and expect me to stay away ?”
"你还真他妈神秘你竟敢在我面前晃来晃去 还想让我远离你？"

“I expected you to do the adult thing and stay away from the person that wants nothing to do with you.” Bloody mystery carrot.
"我以为你会做成年人该做的事" "远离那个不想和你有任何瓜葛的人"该死的神秘胡萝卜

It’s a complete lie; he actually wants so much to do with him. But he can’t , he knows it’s a pipe dream and while it’s easy to live in the fantasy, that’s all it can ever be.
这完全是谎言；他其实非常想和他在一起。但他做不到，他知道这只是一个白日梦，虽然活在幻想中很容易，但也只能是幻想而已。

As though sensing his thoughts, the frustrated expression on the stranger’s face shifts into something much more sinister, a low smirk and a sparkle in his eyes that does strange things to Henry’s insides.
似乎察觉到了他的想法，陌生人脸上沮丧的表情转变成了一种更加阴险的表情，低低地笑着，眼睛里闪烁着光芒，让亨利的内心产生了奇怪的感觉。

“Really?” He says simply, taking a single step forward, smirk firmly on his lips.
"真的吗？"他简单地说，向前迈出一步，嘴角坚定地挂着笑意。

“Yes.” Henry says, climbing to his feet and trying to appear nonchalant as he puts his hand on the door handle, “Don’t come back. I mean it.”
"是的。"亨利说着，站起身来，把手放在门把手上，努力表现出不慌不忙的样子，"别再回来了。我是认真的。"

He fears this man will ruin him if he does, even without knowing his name. His smile is enough to do some serious damage to his heart.
他担心这个男人会毁了他，即使不知道他的名字。他的微笑足以严重伤害他的心。

“Whatever you say, sweetheart!” He hears as he slams his door shut, heat rising in his cheeks.
"随你怎么说，亲爱的！"他一边关门一边说，脸颊上的热度不断上升。

Really, the odds of him coming back twice are insanely slim.
真的，他回来两次的可能性微乎其微。

–

He comes back every day for the next week. Henry honestly doesn’t know what he was expecting, but each morning he opens his front door to find the man already in his garden, his smile widening at the sight of him. Like he’s happy to see Henry.
接下来的一周，他每天都会回来。老实说，亨利也不知道自己在期待什么，但每天早上他打开前门，都会发现那个人已经在他家的花园里了，一看到他就笑得合不拢嘴。好像见到亨利他很高兴。

“Sweetheart,” He drawls on the ninth morning, two takeaway cups in hand, “I brought you a coffee because I cannot for the life of me keep showing up empty handed. It’s bad etiquette.”
"亲爱的，"第九天早上，他手持两个外卖杯子，笑着说，"我给你带了一杯咖啡，因为我不能总是空着手出现在你面前。这有失礼仪。"

Henry takes it with a bashful duck of his head, waving his finger discreetly behind his back to turn it into a cup of tea. He takes a long sip and exhales happily, “Delicious. Thank you.”
亨利腼腆地低头接过，小心翼翼地在背后挥动手指，把它变成了一杯茶。他喝了一大口，高兴地呼出一口气："真好喝。谢谢。"

“You’re welcome. Now that we’re on the subject of etiquette…very rude to not invite a guest into your home.”
"不客气既然说到礼仪......不邀请客人到家里做客是很不礼貌的。"

Henry raises an eyebrow over the lid of his cup, “What if you’re a serial killer? These woods are dangerous, you know.”
亨利在杯盖上挑了挑眉毛："如果你是个连环杀手呢？这片树林很危险，你知道的。"

“I’m hurt.” The man mimes clutching at his heart, “You’re the one that lives here, who says you’re not the monster.”
"我受伤了""你是住在这里的人，谁说你不是怪物" "You're the one that lives here, who says you're not the monster."

The words are lighthearted, because he doesn't know. How could he? But the word monster being thrown at him makes his breath catch in his chest, his stomach sinking at the reminder of the harsh words thrown at him all those years ago.
这话说得轻松，因为他不知道。他怎么会知道？但 "怪物 "这个词让他喘不过气来，想起多年前对他说的那些刺耳的话，他的胃在下沉。

“Hey, you okay?” "嘿，你还好吗？"

He blinks, coming full force back to reality to see the man staring at him, eyes wide and concerned and much closer than they had been a moment ago. Henry jerks back, cheeks flushing and he offers him an awkward nod as he attempts to put some distance between them.
他眨了眨眼睛，猛地回过神来，看到那个男人正瞪着他，眼睛瞪得大大的，关切地看着他，而且比刚才近多了。亨利回过头，脸颊微红，尴尬地点了点头，试图拉开两人之间的距离。

“I’m good. Thank you.”
"我很好 谢谢" "I'm good.谢谢

The man smiles, “Good.” He glances down at his phone, his face twisting into a frown, “Shit, I have to run. Same time tomorrow?”
男子笑道："很好。"他低头看了一眼手机，眉头一皱："该死，我得走了。明天同一时间？

“Do I have a choice?”
"我有选择吗？"

“Nope!” His voice is gleeful, the man practically bouncing on the spot as he speaks. He turns to leave but freezes in his tracks, casting a curious glance over his shoulder, “Hey…what’s your name?”
"不！"他的声音很高兴，说话时几乎在原地蹦跳。他转身要走，但脚步却停住了，好奇地侧过头看了一眼："嘿......你叫什么名字？"

He considers lying but, at this point, so much of his heart lies in this man’s hands that the simplicity of a name could do no harm.
他曾考虑过撒谎，但此时此刻，他的大部分心思都在这个人身上，一个简单的名字也无伤大雅。

“Henry.” "亨利"

“Henry.” The man repeats with a beam, “Suits you. I’m Alex.”
"亨利"那人又重复了一遍 "很适合你我叫亚历克斯

“Nice to officially meet you, Alex.”
"很高兴正式认识你，亚历克斯"

The man - Alex - blows an exaggerated kiss over his shoulder before he breaks into a run, back through the trees and towards town. Only when he’s out of sight does Henry’s heart finally slow down to a more natural pace. He knows he’s in trouble, deeply in trouble, but he can’t bring himself to stop.
那个男人--亚历克斯--夸张地在他的肩膀上亲了一下，然后就跑了起来，穿过树林，向镇子跑去。只有当他消失在视线之外时，亨利的心跳才终于慢了下来。他知道自己有麻烦了，麻烦大了，但他无法停下脚步。

He knows this won’t last forever; Alex will get bored or busy and one missed day will turn into weeks at a time until he simply doesn’t have time for Henry anymore. And it will hurt, more than anything has managed to hurt him for years.
他知道这不会永远持续下去；亚历克斯会变得无聊或忙碌，错过一天就会变成几个星期，直到他再也没有时间陪亨利。这会让他很痛苦，比多年来任何事都让他痛苦。

But he will deal with it, if it means he gets to have this for a little while longer.
但如果这意味着他还能再拥有一段时间，他就会接受。

–

Alex has taken to bringing him various different treats, as though trying to gauge what it is he likes. It starts with coffee, before turning into pastries, pies, before finally something that makes Henry’s heart ache in his chest.
亚历克斯开始给他带各种不同的点心，好像在试探他喜欢什么。先是咖啡，然后是糕点、馅饼，最后是让亨利心痛不已的东西。

“They’re uh…snowdrop bulbs.” Alex says, holding out the bag of bulbs awkwardly, as though expecting him to reject them.
"这是......雪莲花球茎"。亚历克斯说着，尴尬地伸出那袋球茎，似乎在等他拒绝。

“You jogged two miles with a bag of bulbs?” Henry asks, voice hoarse as he takes the bag from the other man, “ Alex .”
"你带着一袋灯泡慢跑了两英里？"亨利问道，声音嘶哑地从对方手中接过袋子，"亚历克斯"

“I know…it seems silly but I just…I saw them and thought of you.” Alex’s eyes are wide and anxious, as though afraid Henry will reject the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever offered him.
"我知道......这看起来很傻，但我......我看到它们就想到了你。亚历克斯的眼睛瞪得大大的，焦急万分，似乎害怕亨利会拒绝别人送给他的这份最贴心的礼物。

“Alex…” He breathes, holding the bag close to his chest and fighting the tears that are begging to fall, “ Thank you .”
"亚历克斯......"他喘着气，把包紧紧抱在胸前，强忍着泪水："谢谢你。"

Alex shrugs, hand scratching down his face, “Don’t mention it.”
亚历克斯耸耸肩，用手挠了挠脸，"别提了"。

Henry is floored, his heart making a valiant effort to escape his chest and smack Alex in the face. There are no words he can think of that can properly explain what the gesture means to him. So instead, he smiles.
亨利惊呆了，他的心拼命地想从胸腔里跳出来，狠狠地打亚历克斯的脸。他想不出任何语言来解释这个动作对他的意义。所以，他只能微笑。

“Woah.” Alex says, dazed, “You uh…you have a beautiful smile.”
"哇"亚历克斯茫然地说："你......你笑起来真美。"

Henry can’t remember what it’s like to not be blushing.
亨利已经不记得不脸红是什么感觉了。

–

Henry thinks he may be in love - and it’s a problem. He realises it as he plants the snowdrops, smiling at the thought of Alex seeing them when they blossom in the spring. The thought is enough to bring him back down to earth, to stop him in his tracks.
亨利觉得自己可能恋爱了--这是个问题。他在种植雪花莲时意识到了这一点，一想到春天开花时艾丽克斯会看到它们，他就会微笑。这个想法足以让他回到现实，让他停下脚步。

Because Alex can’t be here in the spring. Henry cannot allow this poor man to get dragged into the mundane existence that Henry has come to know. He thought he was happy, he thought this life was enough for him but now with the potential of light and love, everything seems hollow.
因为阿历克斯春天不能来了。亨利不能让这个可怜的人被拖入亨利所熟悉的世俗生活。他以为自己很幸福，他以为这样的生活对他来说已经足够，但现在有了光明和爱的可能，一切都显得空洞无物。

And Henry cannot in good conscience drag another person into that with him. He can’t go to town, can’t be a real person . He’s simply a witch that lives in the woods, and that is all he will ever be.
亨利不能昧着良心把另一个人拖下水他不能进城，不能成为一个真正的人。他只是一个住在森林里的巫师，这就是他的全部。

He decides that the next time Alex comes to see him, he won’t come outside. He will force himself to sit, back plastered against the front door and ignore Alex’s calls for him. It’s what’s best for them both, even if Alex will never understand.
他决定，下次亚历克斯来找他时，他就不出去了。他会强迫自己坐着，背贴着前门，对亚历克斯的呼唤置之不理。这样对他们俩都好，即使亚历克斯永远不会理解。

Or so he plans until he hears pained shouts and an inhuman roar outside of his window one morning.
他也是这么计划的，直到一天早上，他听到窗外传来痛苦的呼喊和非人的咆哮。

“Fuck!” An all too familiar voice yells, followed by a yelp and a screech.
"操！"一个再熟悉不过的声音喊道，紧接着是一声尖叫和一声惨叫。

Henry doesn’t think, he doesn’t hesitate, he almost rips his front door off its hinges as he bounds outside towards the noise, deep in the trees.
亨利不假思索，毫不犹豫地冲出门外，朝着树丛深处的嘈杂声跑去，他几乎要把前门从铰链上扯下来。

“Alex?” "亚历克斯？"

“Hen - fuck . Stay back! There’s a wolf! Get back - shit - inside!”
"妈的.别过来有狼快进去！"

He ignores Alex’s pleas as he reaches the clearing. The wolf is massive and if Henry didn’t know any better he would suspect a werewolf attempting to rip Alex to shreds. Nothing in Henry’s body is allowing him to relax, the magic thrumming under his fingertips as it itches to do something, to help and allow no harm to come to Alex.
在到达空地时，他没有理会亚历克斯的哀求。这只狼体型巨大，如果亨利不了解情况，他会怀疑是狼人试图把亚历克斯撕成碎片。亨利身体里的任何东西都无法让他放松，魔法在他的指尖悸动，他渴望做些什么，去帮助艾利克斯，不让他受到任何伤害。

Before he can allow himself to overthink the implications of anything, he waves his finger. The need to protect Alex outweighs any of the anxieties he’s been riddled with the last few weeks. His secret would be out, Alex would likely be horrified and run away but, at least he would be alive .
还没来得及多想，他就挥动了手指。保护艾利克斯的需要胜过了过去几周他内心的焦虑。他的秘密会被揭露，亚历克斯很可能会惊恐万分，然后逃走，但至少他还活着......。

The wolf yelps, before collapsing on the spot.
狼大叫一声，然后当场倒下。

“What the fuck ?”
"搞什么鬼？"

Henry stares, wide eyed at Alex who has collapsed on the forest floor, staring up at him incredulously, “Uh…maybe we can talk about this later?”
亨利瞪大眼睛，看着倒在林地上的亚历克斯，难以置信地抬头看着他，"呃......也许我们可以晚点再谈这个？

“What on earth could be more important than you telling me what the fuck is going on?”
"到底有什么比你告诉我到底发生了什么更重要？"

“Maybe the fact that you have a chunk taken out of your leg?”
"也许是因为你的腿被切掉了一大块？"

Alex glances down, “Huh.” Then promptly passes out, head smacking off the ground with a resounding thud.
亚历克斯低头一瞥，"咦 "了一声。然后立刻昏了过去，头重重地砸在地上，发出 "砰 "的一声巨响。

“Great.” Henry mutters as he leans down, scooping Alex up and tossing him over his shoulder, “Makes this a bit bloody easier.”
"好极了。"亨利一边嘟囔着，一边俯下身去，把亚历克斯捞起来，扔到自己的肩膀上，"这下可轻松多了"。

Unconscious, Alex is silent for the first time since they had met all those weeks ago, when Henry’s heart realised it could beat for the first time in years. The man who had managed to bring a spark of light back to Henry’s dim life without even realising it. But it’s over now, and he’s trying to resolve himself of this as he lays Alex down on his kitchen table, rolling up his shorts to see the extent of the damage.
在昏迷中，亚历克斯第一次沉默了，自从几周前他们相遇以来，亨利的心脏多年来第一次意识到可以跳动了。这个男人曾在不知不觉中为亨利暗淡的生活带来一丝光明。但现在一切都结束了，当他把亚历克斯放在厨房的桌子上，卷起他的短裤查看损伤程度时，他正试图解决这个问题。

A massive chunk of flesh is missing from Alex’s leg, enough to kill him if it keeps bleeding. Thankfully, Henry can do one last thing for him as a thank you. 
亚历克斯的腿上少了一大块肉，如果继续流血，足以要了他的命。幸好，亨利还能为他做最后一件事，以表谢意。

Henry may be bringing him back to life, but in all honesty, it was Alex who had brought him to life in the first place.
亨利可能会让他起死回生，但说实话，是亚历克斯让他起死回生的。

He knows that the magic will have some sort of toll on Alex, so he settles him in on the couch, drapes a blanket over him and encourages David to snuggle up on his chest. Henry can’t remember not having his magic to warm him, so he’s honestly worried that Alex will somehow freeze to death under his care.
他知道魔法会对亚历克斯造成一定的影响，所以他把亚历克斯安顿在沙发上，给他盖上毯子，鼓励大卫依偎在他的胸膛上。亨利不记得自己没有魔法给他取暖，所以他很担心亚历克斯会在他的照顾下冻死。

He’s curled up on the arm chair, unable to move more than a few feet from Alex’s side. A book is floating alongside him but he’s barely paying any attention to the words, his eyes constantly flitting back to the man collapsed on the couch.
他蜷缩在扶手椅上，离亚历克斯只有几英尺远，动弹不得。他的身边飘着一本书，但他几乎没有注意到书中的文字，眼睛一直盯着倒在沙发上的那个人。

“Fuck.” "妈的"

Henry jumps up from his seat at the sound, dashing over and standing near Alex as he cautiously reawakens, hand raising to his head and pressing down.
亨利闻声从座位上跳起来，冲过去站在亚历克斯身边，看着他小心翼翼地苏醒过来，抬手按住他的头。

“What the fuck.” He groans, “Where am I?”
"搞什么鬼"他呻吟道："我这是在哪？"

“If you wanted to come into my house, there were much easier ways than being mauled, you know.”
"如果你想进我的房子" "有比被殴打更简单的方法"

Alex’s eyes snap open and immediately land on Henry, a wide smile spreading across his face, “Ah, my knight in shining capri pants.”
亚历克斯的眼睛猛地睁开，立刻落在亨利身上，脸上洋溢着灿烂的笑容："啊，我穿着闪亮卡其裤的骑士。"

“Ha ha.” Henry says dryly, moving over and pressing the back of his palm to Alex’s sweltering skin, “How are you feeling?”
"哈哈"亨利干巴巴地说，他走过去，将手掌的背面按在亚历克斯闷热的皮肤上，"你感觉怎么样？"

“Like I’ve been attacked by a fucking wolf.” Alex mutters, moving to sit up and dragging David so he’s sitting on his lap, “Hello boy, I’m sorry, the wolf ate your treat.”
"就像我被该死的狼袭击了一样"亚历克斯嘟囔着，挪动身子坐起来，拖着戴维让他坐在自己腿上，"你好，孩子，对不起，狼吃了你的点心。"

David huffs out a breath, snuggling deeper into Alex’s lap.
大卫呼出一口气，深深地依偎在亚历克斯的腿上。

“He’s furious.” Henry sighs, “He’s not going to forgive you for this one.”
"他气疯了"亨利叹息道："他不会原谅你的"

“Hey, Henry?” Alex’s eyes are sparkling with amusement, his skin still deathly pale.
"嘿，亨利？"亚历克斯的眼睛里闪烁着笑意，他的皮肤依然苍白得像死人。

“Yes, Alex?” "什么事 亚历克斯"

“Why is there a book floating?”
"为什么会有一本书漂浮在空中？"

Henry’s gaze snaps to where Alex is looking, his abandoned book still floating, pages fluttering as it demands attention. He waves his finger and it drops onto the couch.
亨利的视线转向亚历克斯，他那本被遗弃的书还在飘动，书页翻动着，吸引着亚历克斯的注意力。他挥了挥手指，书便掉到了沙发上。

“Uh…I am a puppeteer.”
"呃......我是个木偶师。"

“Hmm.” Alex pulls up the blanket, “And my leg is perfectly healed? Even though I was missing half the muscle and skin?”
"嗯"亚历克斯拉起毯子："我的腿完全愈合了？即使我少了一半的肌肉和皮肤？"

“I have some really good uh…balms.”
"我有一些非常好的......香膏"

“You have good balms.” Alex echoes hollowly.
"你有好药膏"亚历克斯空洞地回应道。

Henry sighs, sitting on the end of the couch where Alex’s feet once lay, “Is there any way I’m getting out of this?”
亨利叹了口气，坐在沙发的一端，那里曾经躺着亚历克斯的双脚，"有什么办法能让我摆脱困境吗？"

“Nope!” Alex pops the ‘p’, face gleeful as he leans further into Henry’s space, “What are you?”
"不！"亚历克斯把 "P "打成了 "P"，一脸得意地进一步靠近亨利："你是什么？"

“Excuse me?” "你说什么？"

“Fae? Wizard? Vampire? I could so see vampire, you have the complexion for it.”
"异种？巫师？吸血鬼？我倒觉得是吸血鬼，你的肤色很适合。"

“Hey!” Henry says defensively, a hand raising to cup his own cheek, “I am not that pale.”
"嘿！"亨利辩解道，抬起一只手托着自己的脸颊，"我没那么苍白。"

“Well, what are you then?” Alex’s tone isn’t accusatory, simply curious.
"那么，你是什么人？"亚历克斯的语气没有指责，只是很好奇。

Henry swallows the stone in his throat; the last time he had told anyone - he had been banished to the woods. He hadn’t actually said the words aloud in close to a decade.
亨利咽下了喉咙里的石头；上次他告诉别人--他被放逐到了森林里。他已经有将近十年没有大声说出这些话了。

“I’m a witch.” "我是个女巫"

“Huh.” Alex says, like Henry had told him he knew how to sew or something as equally mundane, “Interesting.”
"嗯"艾利克斯说，就像亨利告诉他他会缝纫或其他同样平凡的事一样，"有意思"。

“Interesting?” Henry deflates, honestly expecting more fanfare from someone as expressive as Alex, “I am telling you I am essentially a mythical creature and all you have to say is interesting ?”
"有趣？亨利瘪了瘪嘴，老实说，他期待着像亚历克斯这样善于表达的人能给他更多的赞美。"我告诉你，我本质上是一种神话生物，而你要说的只是有趣？"

“What would you like me to say?” Alex asks curiously, head tilted to the side in a way so endearing that it makes Henry’s chest clench.
"你想让我说什么？亚历克斯好奇地问，头歪向一边，可爱的样子让亨利胸口一紧。

“What are you thinking?”
"你在想什么？"

“Well, I’m slightly pissed that I was attacked and dropped the flowers I was bringing for you. Or that a fucking wolf managed to ruin the romantic moment I had planned. I’m also thinking that I’d quite like to kiss you, and I have for some time.”
"好吧，我是有点生气，因为我被袭击了，我给你带的花也掉了。或者说，一只该死的狼破坏了我计划好的浪漫时刻。我还在想，我很想吻你，我已经吻了你一段时间了。"

Henry lets out a shaky breath, “ Alex .”
亨利颤抖着呼出一口气："亚历克斯"

His lips quirk up on one side, “You asked.”
他的嘴角微微上扬："是你问的。"

“Alex, we can’t .” He pleads, trying to keep his heart in check even though all he wants is to do exactly that .
"艾丽克丝 我们不能他恳求道，努力控制住自己的情绪 尽管他只想这么做

Weeks of pining and wanting and trying not to hope have culminated in this moment, Alex looking at him with an expression he has never been faced with before. And it terrifies him.
几个星期以来，他一直耿耿于怀、渴求并努力不抱希望，而这一刻，艾丽克丝用一种他从未面对过的表情看着他。这让他感到恐惧。

“Why?” "为什么？"

The simple word short circuits his brain for a moment as he finds himself wondering - why ? His mind flashes with his grandmother’s disgusted face, the way she had shoved him away from her, demanding that he leave and never come back. He thinks of the townspeople he passed glaring at him like he was something to be feared.
这个简单的词让他的大脑瞬间短路，因为他发现自己在想--为什么？他的脑海中闪过祖母厌恶的面孔，她把他从身边推开，要求他离开，再也不要回来。他想起了他路过的镇民对他怒目而视的样子，好像他是什么可怕的东西。

He remembers the whispered words, Monster, Freak, Dangerous .
他还记得那些耳语："怪物、怪胎、危险......"。

That’s a life he has come to get used to, but he can’t drag Alex down with him. Not Alex who is so full of light and love and joy and potential . Potential to be someone, to live a fruitful life. Not locked away in a cabin with Henry who can’t even make a bowl of cereal for himself.
他已经习惯了这种生活，但他不能把亚历克斯也拖下水。艾丽克丝充满了光、爱、欢乐和潜能。她有潜力成为一个人，过上富有成效的生活。而不是和连麦片都做不好的亨利关在小屋里

“You cannot resolve your life to what I have to offer. I have nothing I can offer you.”
"你不能把你的人生寄托在我能提供的东西上我什么都不能给你

“Henry,” Alex moves closer and the hairs on Henry’s arms stand up, his body frozen under the other man’s penetrating gaze, “you are enough in yourself.”
"亨利，"亚历克斯走得更近了，亨利手臂上的汗毛都竖起来了，他的身体在对方充满穿透力的目光下僵住了，"你自己已经足够了。"

And then he kisses him. He allows himself to indulge in it for a moment, Alex so warm and firm and alive against him. His hand clutches Henry’s arm, the other pressed to his cheek, dragging him closer. Alex’s lips are soft against his own, moving with a practised ease that allows him to slip his tongue against Henry’s, pulling a low moan from his throat.
然后他吻了他。他让自己沉浸其中片刻，亚历克斯是如此温暖、坚实、充满活力地贴着他。他的手紧紧抓住亨利的胳膊，另一只手贴在他的脸颊上，把他拖得更近。亚历克斯的嘴唇柔软地贴着他的嘴唇，动作轻柔，让他的舌头滑过亨利的舌头，从他的喉咙里发出低沉的呻吟。

He allows himself to memorise every aspect of it; the smell of Alex’s cologne, the feel of his fingertips pressed against his skin, his lips melding so perfectly with his own. Once he feels as though it’s committed to memory, he waves his finger, and Alex is gone. The silence is loud, stretching through his home and only broken by David’s soft whimpers, followed closely by Henry’s choked sobs as he curls up in the spot Alex has just vacated.
他让自己记住这一切的方方面面：亚历克斯古龙水的味道，他的指尖贴在自己皮肤上的感觉，他的嘴唇与自己的嘴唇如此完美地融合在一起。一旦他觉得这一切都已铭记于心，他挥挥手指，亚历克斯就消失了。寂静无声，绵延在他的家中，只有戴维轻轻的呜咽声打破了寂静，紧接着是亨利哽咽的啜泣声，他蜷缩在亚历克斯刚刚离开的地方。

–

He wakes to the sound of rain pattering against his window, and a loud thudding against his front door. A few months ago, he would be terrified that the sounds meant his grandmother had found his home and had come to finish him off once and for all. Now, he knows exactly who would be pounding down his front door in the middle of the night, a thunderstorm raging around them.
他被窗外淅淅沥沥的雨声和前门砰砰的巨响惊醒。几个月前，他还会害怕这些声音意味着他的祖母找到了他的家，来彻底了结他。现在，他很清楚是谁会在雷雨交加的深夜敲打他家的大门。

“ I know you’re fucking there.” The pounding grows more insistent, “ Fucking open the door or I’m coming in through a window .”
""我知道你他妈的在那儿""快开门，不然我就从窗户进来了" "The pounding grows more insistent, " Fucking open the door or I'm coming in through a window."

Henry scoffs, making no moves towards the front door until he hears the sound of a stone hitting his window pane.
亨利嗤之以鼻，没有朝前门走去，直到他听到石头撞击窗玻璃的声音。

“Bloody menace!” He hisses, storming down the flight of stairs and yanking the front door open.
"该死的威胁！"他嘶吼着冲下楼梯，一把拉开前门。

Alex, clearly not expecting Henry to open the door with such vigour, fully stumbles through the front door, landing in a wet pile by Henry’s feet.
亚历克斯显然没料到亨利会如此大力地开门，完全是跌跌撞撞地从前门跑进来的，落在亨利脚边湿漉漉的一堆东西里。

“What do you want, Alex?” He sighs as he shuts the front door, trapping the wind and rain outside.
"你想要什么，亚历克斯？"他一边叹气，一边关上前门，把风雨挡在门外。

“Oh, I don’t know.” Alex begins lowly as he rises to his feet, dripping aggressively all over Henry’s new carpet, “Maybe I want to talk about the fact that you fucking teleported me home .”
"哦，我不知道。"艾利克斯站起身来，低声说道，咄咄逼人的气势滴满了亨利的新地毯，"也许我想谈谈你他妈的把我传送回家这件事......"

“It seemed the easiest decision at the time.”
"这似乎是当时最简单的决定"

“ Henry .” Alex’s eyes are wide and pleading, hands twitching by his sides and Henry takes a step back so that he can’t reach for him.
"亨利亚历克斯的眼睛睁得大大的，一脸哀求，双手在身旁抽动，亨利退后一步，让他无法伸手去抓他。

He knows with full certainty that if Alex were to touch him now, the last remaining threads of his resolve would completely unravel.
他非常肯定地知道，如果亚历克斯现在碰他一下，他最后仅存的一丝决心就会彻底瓦解。

“Alex. We can’t .”
"亚历克斯我们不能."

“But you won’t tell me why!” Alex exclaims, throwing his hands up, splashing droplets of water as he does, “So what you’re a witch? Who fucking cares!”
"但你不告诉我为什么！"艾利克斯高声喊道，他举起双手，溅起水珠，"你是女巫又怎么样？谁他妈在乎！"

“Everyone does!” Henry snaps, clenching his fists by his sides, “My parents died and suddenly I can fucking conjure things from midair! My grandmother banished me to these fucking woods! The townspeople despise me! I haven’t been back in a decade! I haven’t even seen my own sister, I never got to say goodbye .” He chokes on his words, feeling the tears come to his eyes, “I don’t have a life , Alex. And I can’t in good conscience bring you down with me.”
"每个人都会亨利咆哮着，双拳紧握，"我父母死了，我却突然能从半空中变出东西来！我祖母把我流放到这该死的树林里！镇上的人都瞧不起我！我已经十年没回去了！我连自己的妹妹都没见过 我都没机会跟她道别."他哽咽着说，感觉眼泪夺眶而出，"我没有生活，亚历克斯。我不能昧着良心把你拖下水"

“None of that is telling me why .” Alex says softly, taking a step closer. Henry takes another step back to keep the distance but feels his back meet the wall. He is well and truly trapped, “It’s been a decade . That woman has no power over you. You deserve to live, Henry. To be free. You’ve never hurt anyone.”
"这些都不能告诉我原因"亚历克斯轻声说着，又走近了一步。亨利又后退了一步以保持距离，但他感觉自己的后背碰到了墙壁。他真的被困住了，"已经十年了。那个女人对你没有控制权。你应该活下去，亨利。获得自由。你从未伤害过任何人。"

Henry lets out a sob, “They don’t care. They see me as a monster , a freak . My grandmother threatened to have me killed on sight if I dared to come back.”
亨利抽泣着说："他们根本不在乎。他们把我当成怪物、怪胎。我的祖母威胁我说，如果我敢回来，就当场杀了我。"

“You,” Alex takes a final step forward, effectively trapping him against the wall. His hand rises to cup Henry’s cheek and he can’t help but lean into the gentle touch, the way his thumb swipes to wipe away an errant tear, “are the gentlest, most wonderful person I have ever met, Henry. You deserve everything. Why can’t you just let yourself have this? Fuck all of them, we can love each other on our own terms.”
"你，"亚历克斯向前迈出最后一步，有效地将他困在墙边。他的手抬起来，抚摸着亨利的脸颊，他情不自禁地倚靠在他温柔的抚摸中，他的拇指轻扫，拭去一滴不小心流下的泪水，"你是我见过的最温柔、最美好的人，亨利。你值得拥有一切。你为什么不能让自己拥有这一切？去他们的，我们可以用自己的方式相爱。"

“I don’t know.” Henry says, face screwing up as the tears won’t stop falling, “Alex, I can’t confine you to this life. It’s miserable, Alex. It’s fucking miserable . And I didn’t even realise how horrible it’s been until you showed up and showed me how wonderful things could be.” 

“Then let yourself have this, let yourself have me . I don’t fucking care, Henry. We’ll figure it out! You owe it to yourself to just try.” 

Alex scans his face and something in his eyes looks so deeply sad that it makes Henry want to cry more. 

“I love you.” He chokes out, “I really do and the thought of you giving up everything for me is my worst nightmare.” 

His resolve is shattering under Alex's intense gaze, every single part of him - including the voice in his head - screaming at him to just give in. To be happy. He sees his parents' faces in his mind, soft and concerned, begging for him to just leap.  

“Baby,” Alex’s face softens, “It wouldn’t be giving up. I would be gaining everything .” 

“How do you know just what to say?” Henry sniffs, reaching up to wipe away his tears with his sleeve, “You make everything seem simple.” 

“Because it is.” Alex says with a soft smile, his thumb tracing the bow of Henry’s lips, “We need to just… be . And we can figure out everything else after.” 

And Henry finds himself on the cusp of something he has never had before - a choice. Everything had been taken from him the day his grandmother turned him away, when she had realised exactly what he was. But now, he’s faced with someone that knows exactly what he is, and loves him in spite of it. 

No, loves him for it. 

“Okay.” He says, a laugh bubbling up in his throat at the sheer absurdity of it. 

“Okay?” 

“Okay!” He breaks off into a squeal as Alex’s arms wind around his waist, lifting him off the ground and into a tight hug, “You’re all wet!” 

“So fucking worth it!” Alex’s beam is blinding as he puts Henry down, leaning directly into his space, “I love you so fucking much, you know that, right?” 

Henry really does. 

For the first time in his life, it feels as though his story isn’t over. He knows Alex won’t give up on him, that he’ll do everything in his power to try and drag Henry back to civilization. He knows that his story has more to come, that perhaps he can even see his sister again. 

He knows, as Alex’s arms wind around his waist and their lips meet, that his story is only just beginning.