Archive of Our Own ^beta

Michael Kaiser has a daily routine. He wakes up in the morning at seven, makes a simple breakfast, then drives to Bastard München. He trains until lunchtime, grabs lunch from the cafeteria, and goes back to training. Come evening, he drives back to his apartment, makes his own dinner, and climbs into bed before midnight.
Michael Kaiser 有着规律的日常作息。他每天早晨七点起床，简单做顿早餐，然后驱车前往巴斯塔德慕尼黑。他训练到午饭时间，在食堂随便吃点，接着继续训练。傍晚时分，他开车回到公寓，自己动手做晚餐，并在午夜前上床休息。

Rinse, repeat. 冲洗，重复。

This routine doesn’t change. Not from before Blue Lock, not after he returns to Germany after the Neo Egoist League. It only marginally shifts on his off days; he heads to a nearby supermarket for a grocery run in the mornings, then camps on his couch and analyzes match recordings for the rest of the day.
这种日常从未改变。无论是蓝锁之前，还是他回到德国参加新自我主义联赛之后。只有在休息日，他的日常才略有变化；早上他会去附近的超市采购，然后整天窝在沙发上分析比赛录像。

There’s a part of him that likes this sense of normalcy. It’s the only thing that remained of his old self, even after Isagi Yoichi had ruined him and remade him, and reset him back to zero. He hates that he’s grateful to Isagi for forcefully pulling him beyond stagnation. It had been a blow to his pride, blatant disrespect to the things he had built for himself from the ground up, but it had worked.
他内心的一部分喜欢这种常态感。这是他旧日自我唯一留下的东西，即便Isagi Yoichi摧毁了他，重塑了他，并将他重置为零。他讨厌自己对Isagi强行将他拉出停滞状态心存感激。这对他的自尊是一次打击，对他从零开始建立的一切是公然的蔑视，但确实奏效了。

But it was still a sour, ugly thing, a bitter pill to swallow, and the feeling remains, even after Blue Lock ends.
但它依然是一颗酸涩、丑陋的东西，苦涩难咽，即便蓝锁结束，这种感觉依旧挥之不去。

And it only grows when he hears that Isagi is transferring to Bastard München for the foreseeable future.
而当他听说Isagi即将转投巴斯塔德·慕尼黑，且短期内不会离开时，这种感觉愈发强烈。

One week later, his off-day routine gets rudely interrupted by a phone call.
一周后，他的休息日被一个突如其来的电话粗暴打断。

Michael looks at his phone, at the bold letters spelling out Noel Noa, and ignores it. His apartment becomes blissfully silent, before his phone rings again.
Michael 看着手机上显示的“诺埃尔·诺亚”这几个粗体字，选择了无视。他的公寓恢复了宁静，但不久后手机再次响起。

He’s tempted to ignore it, but he knows Noa; the man would keep calling, or call someone else to call him. Better to get it over and done with.
他本想再次忽略，但他了解诺亚；那家伙会不停地打来，或者找别人来打给他。还是早点解决为妙。

“What is it,” is the first thing he says when the call connects. Michael doesn’t even bother to mask the disdain in his voice.
“什么事？”电话一接通，Michael 就冷冷地开口，连掩饰语气中的厌恶都懒得做。

“Isagi is landing in Munich today,” comes the reply, and that gives Michael pause. He’d almost forgotten, then wonders why he thought he needed to remember.
“‘Isagi今天抵达慕尼黑，’”回复传来，这让Michael停顿了一下。他几乎忘记了，然后又疑惑自己为何觉得需要记住。”

“So?” “所以呢？”

A sigh. “Can you pick him up? I have an interview today, and can’t make it.”
“一声叹息。‘你能去接他吗？我今天有个采访，去不了。’”

Michael barks out a laugh, feeling a sneer twist his lips. “You’re joking,” he says. “No.” He waves a hand dismissively, even though he knows that Noa can’t see him. “Ask someone else. His old Blue Lock friends. Hell, ask Ness. I bet he’ll be so happy to see Yoichi he’ll come running at his beck and call.”
Michael 发出一声冷笑，嘴角扭曲成嘲讽的弧度。“你在开玩笑吧，”他说。“不。”他挥了挥手，尽管他知道诺亚看不见他。“问问别人。他的老蓝锁朋友们。见鬼，问问内斯。我打赌他会那么高兴见到Yoichi，他会随叫随到。”

“I get that you’re angry—”
“我知道你在生气——”

Another bark escaped Michael’s lips. The sound is harsh, scraping against his throat. “Angry? He ruined my life. He took away everything I knew. Now he’s coming to Munich, to my fucking home, and he’s going to ruin everything. Again.” Michael inhales, digging his nails into his thigh. “I hate him. I want him fucking gone. So no, I am not picking him up from the fucking airport. Find someone else.” His thumb hovers over the end call button.
Michael 的唇间又迸出一声冷笑。声音刺耳，刮擦着他的喉咙。“生气？他毁了我的生活。他夺走了我所知道的一切。现在他来慕尼黑，来我他妈的家，又要毁掉一切。再一次。”Michael 深吸一口气，指甲深深掐进大腿。“我恨他。我希望他他妈的消失。所以不，我不会去机场接他。找别人吧。”他的拇指悬停在结束通话按钮上。

“He made you better,” says Noa softly, and Michael freezes. The words are loud, deafening in the suffocating silence of the apartment. Michael inhales sharply, shallowly, feeling as if thorns were slicing into his lungs. It was the truth, the ugly, bitter truth, and it cuts into him harsh and painful like a knife into his gut. “Kaiser,” Noa continues, and Michael hears the underlying plea in his words. “It has to be you.”
““他让你变得更好了，”诺亚轻声说道，Michael顿时僵住了。这些话在公寓令人窒息的寂静中显得格外响亮，震耳欲聋。Michael猛地吸了一口气，浅浅的，感觉像是荆棘刺入了他的肺部。这是事实，丑陋而苦涩的事实，像一把刀一样深深刺入他的腹部，痛苦而残酷。“Kaiser，”诺亚继续说道，Michael听出了他话语中的恳求。“必须是你。””

Michael hangs up. He stares at the black screen of his phone and briefly contemplates hurling it against the wall. Bastard München pays him well enough that he could buy the newest iPhone model twenty times over and no one would bat an eye.
“Michael挂断了电话。他盯着手机漆黑的屏幕，短暂地考虑过将其砸向墙壁。慕尼黑那混蛋付给他的钱足够他买二十部最新款的 iPhone，而且没人会眨一下眼睛。”

Instead, he slides his phone into his pocket. He spits out a curse as he gets to his feet, reaches for the car keys that sit innocently on his dining table, and storms out of his apartment.
“相反，他把手机塞进口袋。他站起身来，咒骂着，伸手去拿餐桌上无辜地躺着的汽车钥匙，然后怒气冲冲地走出了公寓。”

The airport is crowded and noisy, just the way Michael hates it. It's filled with fans, Isagi’s fans, and Michael, after squeezing through the crowd, finds himself squashed between a fan holding a sign with Isagi’s face plastered all over and another holding a bouquet of flowers. He grits his teeth, shoves his hands into his pockets and glares at the translucent glass door in front of him. Thankfully, the black cap and sunglasses he’d donned had done enough to conceal him from the fans. He’d gotten a couple of funny looks, but there were no shocked screams or gasps of oh my god it’s Michael Kaiser, which is a blessing, all things considered.
机场拥挤而嘈杂，正是Michael最讨厌的样子。这里挤满了粉丝，Isagi的粉丝，而Michael在人群中挤过之后，发现自己被夹在一位举着印满Isagi脸庞的牌子粉丝和另一位捧着花束的粉丝之间。他咬紧牙关，双手插进口袋，瞪着面前的透明玻璃门。幸好，他戴上的黑色帽子和太阳镜已经足够让他从粉丝中隐匿。他收到了几道好奇的目光，但没有惊呼或“天哪，是Michael Kaiser”的尖叫，这已经是万幸了。

An excited yell sounds from somewhere on his left, and suddenly deafening cheers sweep through the crowd. Michael sees Isagi almost immediately (he hates that his gaze instinctively seeks Isagi out, and he hates that he knows this and yet can’t stop himself from doing it). The smaller soccer player is almost dwarfed by the two luggages he drags behind him and the stuffed backpack he carries. Dark circles ring his eyes, and Michael notes the various expressions of shock, awkwardness and slight weariness as he approaches his fans.
他左边某处传来一声兴奋的喊叫，紧接着人群中爆发出震耳欲聋的欢呼声。Michael几乎立刻就看到了Isagi（他讨厌自己本能地寻找Isagi，讨厌自己知道这一点却无法阻止自己这样做）。这位身材较小的足球运动员几乎被他拖着的两个行李箱和背着的鼓鼓囊囊的背包所淹没。他的眼睛周围有深深的黑眼圈，Michael注意到他走近粉丝时脸上流露出的震惊、尴尬和些许疲惫的表情。

Isagi is kind and polite, and his fans are rabid, devoted even. They swarm him almost immediately, and Isagi, clearly not wanting to come off as rude, stutters out what must be trained, practiced words of “thank you for the gifts” and “I appreciate the support”.
Isagi 温柔有礼，他的粉丝们狂热而忠诚。他们几乎立刻蜂拥而上，而 Isagi 显然不想显得无礼，结结巴巴地说出了那些必定是经过训练、反复练习的“谢谢你们的礼物”和“我感激大家的支持”。

“Yoichi,” Michael says quietly when Isagi is signing a fan’s jersey, a teddy bear — another fan’s gift — tucked under his arm. His voice is low, lost in the crowd, and yet somehow, impossibly, Isagi’s eyes snap to him. Sheer relief sweeps through his gaze, and the curl of his lips becomes a little more genuine.
“Yoichi，”当Isagi在为一位粉丝签名球衣时，Michael轻声说道，一只泰迪熊——另一位粉丝的礼物——夹在他的臂弯里。他的声音低沉，淹没在人群中，但不知为何，不可思议地，Isagi的目光瞬间转向了他。纯粹的宽慰掠过他的眼神，嘴角的弧度变得更加真挚。

“Holy fucking shit,” one fan says, following Isagi’s line of sight. “Is that Michael fucking Kaiser?”
“我靠，”一位粉丝惊呼，顺着Isagi的视线望去，“那是Michael在搞Kaiser吗？”

No more hiding it then. Michael almost clicks his tongue in annoyance, catching himself just in time. Instead, he says Isagi’s name again, this time a little louder and a little more insistently, then jerks his chin to the right once, sharply. He squeezes his way through the crowd, ignoring the low whispers and the questions from thee fans, and waits for Isagi under a sign that points the way to the carpark.
那就别再隐瞒了。Michael 几乎要恼怒地咂舌，及时忍住了。他再次喊出Isagi的名字，这次声音稍大且更坚决，然后猛地向右一甩头。他挤过人群，无视粉丝们的低声议论和提问，在指向停车场的指示牌下等待Isagi。

Michael stretches his hand out wordlessly when Isagi finally, finally, manages to tear himself away from his fans. Isagi stares at him in confusion, and doesn’t move.
Michael 默默地伸出手，当Isagi 终于、终于从粉丝中脱身时。Isagi 困惑地盯着他，没有动。

“Luggage,” Michael elaborates. “Noa would have my head if his precious pupil tripped and fell and sprained his ankle and couldn’t make it for practice.”
“行李，”Michael解释道。“要是诺亚的宝贝学生摔倒了，扭伤了脚踝，没法参加训练，他非得扒了我的皮不可。”

“Oh,” says Isagi sheepishly. He nudges forward one of his suitcases with his toe, and Michael grabs the handle without complaint. He hears a distant squeal of a fan — “oh my god that is so cute!” — and chooses to ignore it in favor of pulling it behind him. Isagi follows him silently.
“哦，”Isagi尴尬地说。他用脚尖轻轻推了一下自己的一个行李箱，Michael毫无怨言地抓住了把手。他听到远处传来粉丝的尖叫声——“天哪，这也太可爱了吧！”——他选择无视，而是拖着箱子跟在后面。Isagi默默地跟随着他。

They step into an elevator, which is thankfully empty except for the two of them. The elevator ride feels awfully long. Michael glares at the teddy bear in Isagi’s clutches, which stares back at him with its beady black eyes.
他们走进电梯，幸运的是里面除了他们两个空无一人。电梯的旅程感觉异常漫长。Michael瞪着Isagi怀里的泰迪熊，那只熊用它那双黑溜溜的眼睛回瞪着他。

“Give it,” he orders Isagi, when they’ve loaded Isagi’s bags into the boot of his car.
“给我，”当他们把Isagi的行李装进他车后备箱时，他命令Isagi。

Isagi balks. “What?” Isagi 退缩了一下。“什么？”

“The bear.” “那只熊。”

Isagi glares at him, holding the stuffed toy tighter. “What? Why?”
Isagi 瞪着他，把毛绒玩具抱得更紧。“什么？为什么？”

“Just give it,” Michael snaps, momentarily shocking himself with the harshness of his own voice. His own surprise is reflected in Isagi’s eyes, and his grip loosens just enough for Michael to snatch it from his grasp.
“快给我，”Michael厉声说道，自己也被这突如其来的严厉语气吓了一跳。他的惊讶在Isagi的眼中得到了回应，手上的力道稍稍放松，正好让Michael趁机从他手中夺走。

“What are you— hey!” “你这是——嘿！”

Michael digs his fingers into the teddy bear, into the fabric around one of its eyes. He pulls, and the sound of cotton ripping and tearing echoes around them. In his palm lies the black bead that had been the teddy bear’s right eye. A red dot blinks up at him.
Michael 用手指抠进泰迪熊，深入到其中一只眼睛周围的布料。他用力一拉，棉花撕裂的声音在他们周围回荡。他掌心中躺着那颗曾是泰迪熊右眼的黑色珠子。一个红点在他眼前闪烁。

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Isagi yells. Anger makes his cheeks flush pink. “Do you have some sort of sadistic streak that enjoys destroying toys? That was a gift, fuck you!”
“你他妈到底怎么回事？”Isagi 吼道。愤怒让他的脸颊泛起粉红。“你是不是有什么虐待狂倾向，喜欢毁坏玩具？那是礼物，去你的！”

“Shut up,” Michael growls back. He dumps the teddy bear, now camera-free, back into Isagi’s arms, and holds the bead up at Isagi’s eye level. Michael sees the moment horror and realization dawn on Isagi. His mouth closes with a click.
“闭嘴，”Michael 低吼回去。他把那只已经没有摄像头的泰迪熊扔回Isagi的怀里，举起珠子到Isagi的视线高度。Michael目睹了Isagi脸上惊恐与领悟交织的一刻。他的嘴闭上，发出一声轻响。

“This is why,” Michael starts, letting the bead fall onto the floor. He crushes it with the sole of his shoe. “You don’t accept gifts. Or did useless four-eyes back at Blue Lock not teach you shit about crazy fans?”
“这就是原因，”Michael开口道，任由那颗珠子掉落在地。他用鞋底将其碾碎。“你不能接受礼物。还是说，蓝锁里那群没用的四眼仔根本没教你关于疯狂粉丝的屁事？”

“Don’t call Ego-san useless—”
“别叫江古田同学没用——”

“I’ll call him whatever I want. Now get in so I can do my fucking job.” Michael yanks open the door to the driver's seat, exhaling through his teeth. Isagi climbs into the passenger seat in the front, glancing at Michael worriedly.
“我想怎么叫他就怎么叫。现在上车，我好干我的活儿。”Michael猛地拉开驾驶座车门，咬牙呼气。Isagi爬进副驾驶座，忧心忡忡地瞥了Michael一眼。

“Relax,” Michael says as his car rumbles to life. “I’ve been driving for years.”
“放松点，”Michael说道，他的车轰鸣着启动了。“我开车已经好几年了。”

“That does not reassure me in the slightest,” Isagi mutters, but the tension leaves his shoulders with his next breath. He fiddles with the one-eyed teddy bear in his lap.
“这丝毫没有让我安心，”Isagi咕哝着，但随着下一口气，他肩膀的紧张感消失了。他摆弄着腿上那只独眼泰迪熊。

Michael looks at it, at the ugly fraying strands of thread where its right eye had been, and clamps down on the huff of amusement that almost escapes him.
Michael看着它，看着那只右眼曾经所在的地方丑陋的线头，他几乎忍不住要笑出声来，但还是强忍住了。

Michael Kaiser has, well, had, a daily routine. Before Isagi Yoichi had re-entered his life and messed up his healthy, perfectly-crafted schedule.
Michael Kaiser 曾经，嗯，有过，一套日常作息。在Isagi Yoichi 重新闯入他的生活并打乱他健康、精心安排的时间表之前。

Now, he leaves his apartment earlier, if only to be the first person on the pitch. He has to beat Isagi to it, even if the latter lived in the same compound as their practice area. Isagi stays late, practicing his direct shots, so Michael does too. When Michael heads to the main cafeteria for lunch, he sees Isagi there. More often than not, Isagi is surrounded by his ex-Blue Lock friends, but when he isn’t, he drops into the seat opposite Michael, the same seat that Ness had used to occupy before their falling out, and chats amicably about everything and nothing. The empty, dusty locker beside Michael’s in the locker room becomes cleaned out, and filled with Isagi’s things: a spare jersey, snacks, a water bottle, a couple of towels, and the ugly teddy bear. There’s a button too, blue, next to a thread and needle.
如今，他早早离开公寓，只为成为第一个踏上球场的人。他必须赶在Isagi之前，即便后者住在与训练场同一片区的宿舍。Isagi留下来练习直接射门，Michael也跟着留下。当Michael去主食堂吃午饭时，他看见Isagi也在那里。Isagi多半被他曾经的蓝色监狱朋友们簇拥着，但当他不在人群中时，他会坐在Michael对面，那个 Ness 曾占据的座位，在决裂之前，他们轻松愉快地聊着天南地北。在更衣室里，Michael旁边的空置、积灰的储物柜被清理干净，塞满了Isagi的东西：备用球衣、零食、水瓶、几条毛巾，还有那只丑丑的泰迪熊。旁边还有一个蓝色纽扣，旁边放着针线。

Isagi Yoichi, Michael decides, is like a fly. A very, very annoying fly he can’t get rid of. A fly that he can’t seem to ignore, and a fly he can’t crush.
Isagi Yoichi, Michael 觉得，就像只苍蝇。一只极其讨厌、挥之不去的苍蝇。一只他无法忽视，也碾不死的苍蝇。

His frustration only builds over the course of the next few weeks. Isagi is good, he’s always been good, but he’s different now compared to when Michael had last played with him, against him. Isagi slots himself into Bastard München’s dynamic so seamlessly it was like he was always meant to be here, the last piece of an incomplete puzzle. Isagi pulls the players around him into his orbit, and even Michael can’t look away from the sheer weight of his gravity.
他的挫败感在接下来的几周里愈发强烈。Isagi一直很出色，但如今与Michael上次与他同场竞技时相比，他已截然不同。Isagi完美融入了巴斯塔德慕尼黑的战术体系，仿佛他生来就该在此，成为那块缺失的拼图的最后一片。Isagi将周围的球员都吸引至他的轨道，就连Michael也无法忽视他那不可抗拒的引力。

Better. Not good enough, he thinks bitterly, furiously, when Noa makes another assist to Isagi during one of their scrims. One step forward, two steps back, he thinks, when Jin Kiyora, who chose him during the Neo Egoist League, passes to Isagi instead. Even Ness, who'd been like a puppet with its strings cut in the last few days of the League, who’d Michael hadn’t been able to hold a conversation of more than three words with since, passes to Isagi instead. And if not Isagi, Kunigami, if not Kunigami, Kurona, or Hiori, anyone but Michael.
好些了。但还不够好，当 Noa 在一次训练赛中再次助攻Isagi时，他苦涩而愤怒地想。进一步，退两步，他想着，当 Jin Kiyora，在 Neo Egoist 联赛中选择了他的人，却传球给了Isagi。就连 Ness，在联赛最后几天里像断了线的木偶一样，自从那以后连三句话以上的对话都无法维持的人，也传球给了Isagi。如果不是Isagi，Kunigami，如果不是 Kunigami，Kurona，或是 Hiori，任何人都可以，但偏偏不是Michael。

Zero meant throwing everything away. Zero meant giving up everything. Zero meant to start over. But Michael had nothing but his love for the sport and the years of muscle memory and pushing himself to his limits, and so he returns to the one, singular thing he finds familiar.
零意味着抛弃一切。零意味着放弃所有。零意味着重新开始。但Michael除了对运动的热爱、多年的肌肉记忆和不断挑战极限的自己，别无他物，于是他回到了那个唯一让他感到熟悉的事物。

It was easy, this dance. This competition of who can score more goals, who can make the better play, who can bend the gravitational push and pull of the other enough that the other players on the team shift the trajectory of their mindset enough to deviate from their path. To pick Michael Kaiser, instead of Isagi Yoichi.
这场舞步轻而易举。这场较量，比的是谁能进更多球，谁能做出更妙的动作，谁能将对方的引力推拉得足够弯曲，以至于队友们的心态轨迹足以偏离原本的路径。选择Michael Kaiser，而非Isagi Yoichi。

Michael feels momentary triumph when Ness, during a practice match, glances at Isagi once, then chooses to pass to Michael instead. His expression is sour, but his pass is perfect, and Michael scores.
Michael在练习赛中，当 Ness 瞥了Isagi一眼，然后选择传球给Michael时，感到了片刻的胜利。他的表情阴沉，但传球完美无缺，Michael得分了。

When Michael turns, Isagi is staring at him, something conflicted in his expression. He turns away, and Michael finds himself looking at the back of his jersey, at Isagi’s name in bright gold, bolded letters. The triumph bleeds away and anger, raw and ugly, takes its place.
当Michael转身时，Isagi正盯着他，表情中带着矛盾。他转过身去，Michael发现自己盯着他球衣的背面，Isagi的名字在明亮的金色、粗体字母中闪耀。胜利感消退，取而代之的是原始而丑陋的愤怒。

Why is it always you, Michael thinks desperately through clenched teeth. You who gave me hardship, you who changed me, you who ruin everything you touch without an ounce of guilt. You who made me better.
为什么总是你，Michael 咬牙切齿地绝望想着。你让我历经艰辛，你改变了我，你毁掉一切你触碰的东西却毫无愧疚。你让我变得更好。

It’s always you, you, you.
总是你，你，你。

The more time Michael spends around Isagi, the more he feels like a ticking time bomb with a fuse about to blow.
Michael 在 Isagi 身边待得越久，就越觉得自己像一颗引信即将燃尽的定时炸弹。

“You’re relapsing,” Noa observes once, after practice. Michael stills in the motion of running a towel through his sweat-slicked hair.
““你又在复发了，”诺亚在一次训练后观察道。Michael 在用毛巾擦干湿漉漉的头发的动作中停了下来。”

“I’m not,” Michael had denied with a sneer. The audacity of Noa to call it a relapse, like it was some sort of illness. But the signs were there. Michael had been too focused on besting Isagi, and had made a slip-up during today’s practice. A small one, but a mistake nonetheless.
““我没有，”Michael 带着冷笑否认。诺亚竟敢称之为复发，仿佛这是一种疾病。但迹象确实存在。Michael 过于专注于击败Isagi，在今天的训练中犯了个小错误。虽小，但终究是个错误。”

“Talk to him,” Noa sighs.
““去和他谈谈吧，”诺亚叹息道。”

“No,” Michael shoots back. “I’m not his fucking dog.”
“不，”Michael 回击道。“我不是他的狗。”

“Fine,” Noa says. “Then fix your stupid temper tantrum yourself. Do something about it before the season starts, or you’re getting benched.”
“好吧，”诺亚说。“那就自己搞定你那愚蠢的脾气。赛季开始前解决好，不然你就坐冷板凳吧。”

Michael snarls wordlessly when the door shuts behind Noa.
诺亚关门离去时，Michael 无言地咆哮着。

It all comes to a head one Friday night. It’s late, close to midnight. Michael closes his locker and turns the lock, which clicks into place. He hefts his training bag over one shoulder and approaches the door. He grasps the steel handle and pushes it open.
这一切在某个星期五晚上达到了顶点。夜已深，接近午夜时分。Michael 关上储物柜，转动锁头，咔哒一声锁好。他将训练包甩到肩上，走向门口。他握住钢制门把手，推开门。

Except the door doesn’t budge. Michael tries again. The outcome doesn’t change. The handle rattles in its place. Slowly, his gaze slides to the clock mounted above it.
除了门纹丝不动。Michael再次尝试。结果依旧。门把手在原处晃动。渐渐地，他的目光滑向挂在门上的时钟。

00:01.

Bastard München’s facilities have a self-locking system. It was implemented after a fan had broken in once, years ago. Nothing major had happened and no one had been injured, but security had been stepped up for months while the system was being installed.
慕尼黑混蛋队的设施配备了自锁系统。这一措施是在多年前一名粉丝闯入后实施的。当时并未发生重大事件，也无人受伤，但在系统安装期间，安保措施加强了数月之久。

Said system activates daily at midnight exactly.
该系统每日午夜零时准时激活。

Said system had been activated, and Michael was stuck.
系统已被激活，而Michael被困住了。

With a curse, he fumbles around for his phone, fishing it out of his training bag. He taps the screen. Nothing happens. It remains dark, save for a red, blinking icon at the top right corner.
他咒骂一声，摸索着从训练包里掏出手机。他轻触屏幕，却毫无反应。屏幕依旧漆黑，只有右上角一个红色闪烁的图标。

His phone was dead. “Shit,” he hisses, digging into his bag for a charger. He doesn’t have one. Dimly, he recalls seeing it on his bedside table before he left his apartment that morning.
他的手机没电了。“该死，”他低声咒骂，伸手在包里翻找充电器。然而，他并没有找到。隐约间，他记起早上离开公寓前，曾在床头柜上瞥见过它。

Great. He was alone, locked in and stuck with no way to contact someone. It’ll be a grand six hours before the self-locking system de-activates. Sure, he could theoretically sleep here, and he has water so he wouldn’t pass out from dehydration, but he’ll wake up in no condition to practice. He can call in sick, but the mere thought of Isagi getting a day ahead of him in practice, any edge over him at all, pisses him off.
太好了。他孤身一人，被困在密闭空间里，无法与外界联系。自锁系统要六个小时后才会解除。当然，理论上他可以在这里睡觉，而且他有水喝，不会因脱水而昏倒，但他醒来时肯定无法进行训练。他可以请病假，但一想到Isagi在训练中领先他一天，哪怕只是一点点优势，都让他火冒三丈。

“Huh?” Speak of the devil. “Oh, Kaiser, you’re still here,” says Isagi. His hair is wet, and he smells of soap. “I thought you went home.”
““啊？”说曹操，曹操到。“哦，Kaiser，你还在这里，”Isagi说道。他的头发湿漉漉的，散发着肥皂的香气。“我以为你回家了。””

“Look,” Michael enunciates slowly, through gritted teeth. “At the time.”
““听着，”Michael咬牙切齿地慢慢说道。“当时的情况。””

Isagi looks at the clock that now reads 00:02 and pales. He rushes to his own locker, flinging the door open. It clangs loudly, metal against metal. The sound is grating, and serves only to fuel the anger that’s been brewing under Michael’s skin for weeks. A moment passes, and Isagi emerges, his own phone in his grip. He taps the screen, frowns, and taps it again.
“Isagi看了一眼现在显示 00:02 的时钟，脸色变得苍白。他冲向自己的储物柜，猛地拉开柜门。金属与金属碰撞发出刺耳的响声。这声音令人烦躁，只是加剧了Michael几周来积压在心中的怒火。片刻之后，Isagi出现了，手里握着自己的手机。他轻敲屏幕，皱起眉头，又再次轻敲。”

Finally, he looks up at Michael. Isagi holds up his phone, and Michael sees the same “no battery” icon that was reflected on his own screen.
终于，他抬头看向Michael。Isagi举起手机，Michael看到屏幕上同样显示着“电量不足”的图标。

“Shit,” Isagi says, an echo of Michael’s own words, and somehow, this is the moment that does it. This is the last straw.
“该死，”Isagi说道，重复着Michael的话，不知为何，这一刻成了压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草。这是最后的极限。

Before he registers his own actions, Michael is hauling Isagi up by the collar of his shirt. “This is all your fault,” he seethes, and Isagi’s face flashes through a series of emotions: shock, hurt, anger. Something shutters in his eyes, and Isagi forcefully yanks himself free from Michael’s grip.
在他意识到自己的行为之前，Michael已经揪住Isagi的衣领将他拽起。“这都是你的错，”他咬牙切齿地说道，而Isagi的脸色瞬间闪过一系列情绪：震惊、受伤、愤怒。他的眼中某种东西一闪而过，Isagi用力挣脱了Michael的钳制。

“What do you mean this is my fault?” Isagi shouts. “I didn’t ask to be stuck here either!”
“你什么意思，这是我的错？”Isagi 喊道。“我也没要求被困在这儿啊！”

“You don’t get it!” Michael roars. He clenches his fists so hard he feels the skin on his palms break. “Everything started with you. You ruined my life’s work at Blue Lock, then you come here and destroy whatever I had left. You’re so cruel, Yoichi.” The name is spat out with so much venom that Michael himself almost flinches, but he disguises this with a laugh that sounds forced and fake even to his own ears.
“你不懂！”Michael咆哮道。他紧握双拳，掌心皮肤几乎要被撕裂。“一切都是因你而起。你在蓝色监狱毁了我毕生的心血，现在你又来这里摧毁我仅存的一切。你太残忍了，Yoichi。”这个名字被充满怨恨地吐出，连Michael自己都几乎为之退缩，但他用一声听起来勉强且虚伪的笑声掩饰了这一点，连他自己都觉得这笑声不自然。

You should have stayed in Japan, he thinks despairingly. You should have joined another club, Re Al, Berserk, anywhere but Bastard. You should have let me forget you. But deep down, he knows that he would not, could not forget Isagi Yoichi. Isagi would have haunted his every waking moment. He would have been there if Michael turned on the television, if he opened social media. Michael would have seen him at the Olympics, at the World Cup, at every single international football competition.
你应该留在日本，他绝望地想。你应该加入另一个俱乐部，Re Al，Berserk，任何地方都比 Bastard 好。你应该让我忘记你。但内心深处，他知道他不会，也不能忘记Isagi Yoichi。Isagi会萦绕在他醒着的每一刻。如果Michael打开电视，如果他浏览社交媒体，他就会在那里。Michael会在奥运会上，在世界杯上，在每一次国际足球比赛中看到他。

Isagi Yoichi would not let Michael Kaiser forget him. Michael Kaiser would not have let himself forget Isagi Yoichi.
Isagi Yoichi 不会让 Michael Kaiser 忘记他。Michael Kaiser 不会让自己忘记 Isagi Yoichi。

“I didn’t destroy anything,” Isagi retorts. “I only came here to--”
“我没破坏任何东西，”Isagi反驳道，“我只是来这里——”

“Play soccer,” Michael finishes numbly. “And in the process, devour everything until you’re the last one standing.” Isagi stares at him, shock passing over his features.
“踢足球，”Michael麻木地结束道，“并在过程中吞噬一切，直到你成为最后一个站着的人。”Isagi盯着他，震惊的表情掠过他的脸庞。

“How did you—” “你怎么——”

“Because I did the same thing, Yoichi.” Michael drops onto a bench with a tired sigh. There’s blood under his nails, and his palms burn. “For years. It was the only thing that made me feel a little bit more human everytime.”
“因为我也是这么做的，Yoichi。”Michael疲惫地叹了口气，瘫坐在长椅上。他的指甲下沾着血迹，手掌灼热。“多年来一直如此。这是唯一让我每次都感觉稍微更像人的事情。”

Isagi is quiet, contemplative, only managing a quiet “oh”. He sits down next to Michael, though his posture is tense, like he’s trying to make himself seem as small as possible.
Isagi 沉默寡言，若有所思，只轻声应了句“哦”。他坐到Michael旁边，但姿势紧绷，仿佛在尽量让自己显得渺小。

“Did it work?” “成功了吗？”

Michael throws back his head and laughs, once, humorlessly. “It did, until Blue fucking Lock. Until you.”
Michael 猛地仰头，冷笑一声。“成功了，直到蓝色监狱出现。直到你出现。”

There’s a pause, another “oh”. “I’m,” Isagi starts.
"一阵沉默，又是一声“哦”。“我，”Isagi 开口道。

“You’re not,” Michael snaps back. “Say that you’re sorry and I’ll break your knee. Don’t deny that it felt good when you got what you wanted.” Isagi closes his mouth and looks away.
“你不是，”Michael厉声回击，“说句对不起，我就打断你的膝盖。别否认当你得到想要的东西时感觉很好。”Isagi闭上嘴，转过头去。

“Okay,” Isagi says quietly. “So you hate me.”
“好吧，”Isagi轻声说道，“所以你恨我。”

Yes, Michael does. He hates Isagi. He hates that Isagi is always there, at the edge of his peripheral vision. He hates that Isagi occupies his mind. He hates that Isagi beats him in everything that he does. He hates that he has to play catch-up. He hates that Isagi made him better.
是的，Michael确实如此。他讨厌Isagi。他讨厌Isagi总是出现在他的视野边缘。他讨厌Isagi占据他的思绪。他讨厌Isagi在所有事情上都胜过他。他讨厌自己不得不追赶。他讨厌Isagi让他变得更强。

If he strips away all that ugly, bloody, violent history, does he still hate Isagi? The person, not the player.
如果他剥离了那段丑陋、血腥、暴力的历史，他还会恨Isagi吗？这个人，而非玩家。

The answer is no. The tiny sliver of truth buried beneath lies and falsehoods and ashes.
答案是否定的。埋藏在谎言、虚假和灰烬之下的那一丝真相。

“If I hated you enough,” Michael struggles out, and the words are painful, like nails in his throat. “I would have let that bear ruin your career.”
“如果我恨你到那种程度，”Michael艰难地说出，这些话如同喉咙里的钉子般痛苦。“我就会让那只熊毁了你的职业生涯。”

Michael feels Isagi’s stare on him. His weight on the bench abruptly vanishes. There’s the sound of distant rustling and a soft curse when something clatters to the ground, before Isagi returns. In one hand, he holds the one-eyed teddy bear. In the other, the blue button, thread and a small needle.
Michael 感受到 Isagi 的注视。他突然从长凳上起身，远处传来窸窣声和某物落地时的轻声咒骂，随后 Isagi 回来了。他一手拿着独眼泰迪熊，另一手则握着蓝色纽扣、线和小针。

Isagi starts to fiddle with the needle and thread, sliding it into the frayed cotton where the camera-bead had been. His motions are clumsy, uncoordinated, the actions of someone with little experience in sewing.
Isagi开始摆弄针线，将线穿入相机珠子曾经所在处的磨损棉布中。他的动作笨拙而不协调，显然是个缝纫新手。

Michael sighs. “Give it,” he says, stretching out his hand. Isagi looks at his outstretched hand, then at the bear, and wordlessly hands it over.
Michael 叹了口气。“给我吧，”他说着，伸出手。Isagi 看了看他伸出的手，又看了看那只熊，默默地递了过去。

Michael starts to sew, threading the needle through the button. Silence hangs between them, awkward but not overly uncomfortable.
Michael开始缝纫，将针线穿过纽扣。两人之间弥漫着沉默，略显尴尬，但并不令人过于不适。

Isagi breaks the silence after a few minutes. “Of all the things I expected you to be good at,” he says, “I didn’t expect sewing.”
Isagi 几分钟后打破了沉默。“在我预想中你能擅长的所有事情里，”他说，“没想到会是缝纫。”

Michael shrugs nonchalantly. “When you grow up in a shitty household, you pick up things.” Like learning to tiptoe, to pick up empty glass bottles silently, to keep his breathing shallow and his ears alert, to cut his own hair, to bandage his own wounds. To steal, and to hide stolen things.
Michael 漫不经心地耸耸肩。“在糟糕的家庭长大，你会学会一些东西。”比如学会踮起脚尖走路，悄无声息地捡起空玻璃瓶，保持呼吸浅薄、耳朵警觉，自己剪头发，自己包扎伤口。学会偷窃，以及藏匿赃物。

Isagi looks at him like he wants to say something. He opens his mouth, almost certainly to say something along the lines of “I’m so sorry”, the kind person that he was. Michael glares at him. “Knee,” is all he says, and Isagi nods once, almost timidly.
Isagi 看着他，似乎想说些什么。他张开嘴，几乎可以肯定是要说“我很抱歉”之类的话，他就是这样善良的人。Michael 瞪着他。“膝盖，”他只说了这么一句，Isagi 点了点头，几乎有些胆怯。

“Does Ness—” “Ness 他——”

There’s a bitter feeling at the back of Michael’s tongue. “I haven’t talked to him.” Isagi jerks back at the reply.
在Michael的舌根处有一种苦涩的感觉。“我没跟他谈过。”Isagi听到回答后猛地退缩了一下。

“What do you mean? Since when? Isn’t he your friend?” Isagi asks. Questions, questions, always more questions. Michael tightens his grip on the bear. A roar rises in his ears.
“你什么意思？从什么时候开始的？他不是你的朋友吗？”Isagi问道。问题，问题，总是更多的问题。Michael紧紧抓住了那只熊。一阵咆哮在他耳边响起。

“Ness was an experiment,” Michael hears himself say, the words dull and muted like he was underwater. “A failed one. By a teenager with a criminal record.”
“Ness 是个实验品，”Michael听到自己说，声音沉闷而压抑，仿佛在水下说话。“一个失败的实验品。由一个有犯罪记录的青少年所造。”

“So talk to him,” Isagi answers without hesitation, like it was so easy. Perhaps for him, it was. “He’s a failed experiment, so he’s not one anymore. So talk to him as a friend.”
“‘那就去跟他说话，’Isagi毫不犹豫地回答，仿佛这再简单不过。或许对他来说，确实如此。‘他是个失败实验品，所以现在他不再是了。把他当朋友一样去聊聊。’”

“You make it sound so easy.”
“‘你说得倒轻巧。’”

Isagi lets out a dry chuckle. “It’s not. You know, I met Kira Ryosuke a couple of months ago, before I left Japan.”
“Isagi干笑了一声。‘没那么简单。你知道吗，几个月前我离开日本前，遇到了桐生龙介。’”

Michael thinks he’s heard the name Kira Ryosuke from somewhere before. He thinks hard and fast. Kira Ryosuke. Kira Ryosuke. An old magazine surfaces in his mind. The ex-jewel of Japan, who’d vanished from the public eye at the beginning of Ego Jinpachi’s Blue Lock project. Rumors had popped up over the next few months about his whereabouts, but Kira had never made a statement, and eventually forgotten amidst the rising talents that had been produced by the Blue Lock project.
Michael 觉得他以前在哪儿听过桐生凌介这个名字。他快速地回忆着。桐生凌介。桐生凌介。一本旧杂志浮现在他的脑海中。这位曾经的日本瑰宝，在绘心甚八的蓝色监狱计划开始之初便从公众视野中消失。接下来的几个月里，关于他下落的传闻四起，但桐生从未发表过声明，最终在蓝色监狱计划涌现的新星中被遗忘。

“It was sheer coincidence,” Isagi continues. “He’s an ordinary office worker now, and we got coffee. I think there’s a part of him that still blames me for ending his soccer career. But he’s, well, we’ve matured, and well…” he trails off.
“这纯属巧合，”Isagi 继续说道。“他现在是个普通的上班族，我们只是去喝了杯咖啡。我想他心里还有一部分在责怪我终结了他的足球生涯。但他，嗯，我们都成熟了，而且……”他话音渐弱。

“Talk to him,” Isagi insists finally. “It’s not good to have regrets.”
“去跟他说吧，”Isagi终于坚持道，“有遗憾可不好。”

The roar in Michael’s ears quiets, and he hums in response.
Michael耳中的轰鸣声渐渐平息，他轻声哼唱以回应。

“You were my ideal, you know,” Isagi confesses after a while, shifting closer to peer at Michael’s work on the bear. Isagi is close and Michael can feel his warm breath on his cheek. “At Blue Lock, at the start of the League.”
“你知道吗，你曾经是我的理想，”Isagi过了一会儿坦白道，他挪近了些，仔细观察Michael在熊上的作品。Isagi就在近旁，Michael能感觉到他温暖的气息拂过脸颊。“在蓝色监狱，联赛刚开始的时候。”

“You were this… genius,” Isagi says, waving his hand with a soft laugh. “Your physique, your movements, your spatial awareness. I wanted to be just like you.”
“你是个……天才，”Isagi说着，轻笑着挥了挥手。“你的体格，你的动作，你的空间感。我曾想成为像你一样的人。”

Michael removes the needle and ties a final knot of thread. The bear now had two eyes: one black bead and one blue button. When he turns his head to the side, his gaze meets Isagi’s. They’re so close that Isagi’s breath ghosts over his lips.
Michael 拔出针，系上最后一道线结。小熊如今有了两只眼睛：一颗黑色珠子和一颗蓝色纽扣。当他转头时，目光与Isagi相遇。他们如此贴近，以至于Isagi的呼吸轻拂过他的唇边。

Isagi’s eyes were an addicting shade of blue. Blue like the sky just before dusk. Blue like ocean water, depthless and abyssal. Blue like Michael’s but a thousand shades darker.
Isagi的眼睛是一种令人上瘾的蓝色。蓝得像黄昏前的那片天空。蓝得像海水，深邃无底。蓝得像Michael的眼睛，但深了一千个色调。

“You were mine,” Michael tells Isagi, the teddy bear between them. The fabric grounds him. “My ideal mindset. My ideal ego, and I hated you for it.”
“你曾经属于我，”Michael对Isagi说，泰迪熊在他们之间。布料让他感到踏实。“我的理想心态。我的理想自我，而我为此恨你。”

The truth hurts, like a white-hot knife. It burns, but Michael swallows down the lump in his throat and pushes past the pain. The words fall from his lips unceasingly, like a river as it crashes over the edge of a waterfall.
真相如白热的刀刃般伤人。它灼烧，但Michael咽下喉咙里的硬块，忍痛前行。话语从他唇间不断涌出，如同瀑布边缘倾泻而下的河流。

“I hated that you wouldn’t stay down. I hated that you kept getting back up. I hated that you reminded me of myself. I hated that you kept improving. I hated that you forced me to keep playing. I hated that you changed me. I hated that you made me better.”
“我恨你不愿意倒下。我恨你一次次站起来。我恨你让我想起自己。我恨你不断进步。我恨你逼我继续比赛。我恨你改变了我。我恨你让我变得更好。”

Isagi is staring at him, his breathing shallow. Michael’s eyes burn.
Isagi 盯着他，呼吸浅促。Michael的目光炽热。

“I hated,” he chokes out, “that even after Blue Lock, you came to Germany. I hated that you took the last things I was familiar with and turned them upside down. I hated that you stayed and wouldn’t let me forget you.”
“我恨，”他哽咽着说，“即使是在蓝色监狱之后，你还是去了德国。我恨你夺走了我最后熟悉的东西，把它们彻底颠覆。我恨你留下来，不让我忘记你。”

When does hate become love? When was the turning point?
仇恨何时变成了爱？转折点在何时？

Perhaps the turning point was a phone call, a request he shouldn’t have accepted. Perhaps it was a teddy bear, with a camera for its right eye that Michael had brutally ripped out. Perhaps it was three years ago, with a scoreboard that read 1:1 and a muttered dankeschön that had sounded so loud to his own ears but would have gone unheard to the remaining twenty-one players on the field. Perhaps it was now, two bodies huddled together in an empty locker room while a digital clock ticks above their heads. Perhaps there was no turning point at all.
或许转折点是一次电话，一个他本不该接受的请求。或许是那只泰迪熊，右眼装着摄像头，被Michael残忍地挖了出来。或许是三年前，记分牌上显示着 1:1，他低声说了句“谢谢”，声音大得他自己都听得清清楚楚，但在场上剩下的二十一名球员耳中却微不可闻。或许是现在，两具身体蜷缩在空荡荡的更衣室里，头顶上的电子钟滴答作响。或许根本就没有什么转折点。

Perhaps Michael Kaiser had always loved Isagi Yoichi.
或许Michael Kaiser一直深爱着Isagi Yoichi。

There’s a hesitant hand over his own, over the crown tattooed on the back of his palm. It trails up, over the vines and thorns, and thumbs over the blue rose on his neck. Isagi looks at him, hesitance and certainty and hope all blended together messily. Michael blinks once, slowly, a question and an answer all in one, and Isagi leans in, and slots their lips together. Perfectly, like Michael was always meant to be Isagi’s and vice-versa.
一只犹豫的手覆盖在他自己的手上，那只手背上纹着皇冠的图案。手指沿着藤蔓和荆棘向上滑去，轻抚着他颈间的蓝色玫瑰。Isagi看着他，犹豫、确定和希望混杂在一起，显得有些凌乱。Michael缓缓地眨了一下眼，既是疑问也是回答，而Isagi则倾身向前，两人的唇完美地贴合在一起，仿佛Michael生来就注定属于Isagi，反之亦然。

When Isagi pulls away, he is smiling, bright and happy and in love, and Michael abandons his grip on the teddy bear in favor of wrapping his arms around Isagi’s waist and burying his face in Isagi’s neck.
当Isagi退开时，他笑容灿烂，满心欢喜，眼中尽是爱意，而Michael则松开了手中的泰迪熊，转而双臂环抱住Isagi的腰，将脸埋进Isagi的颈窝。

Michael huffs out a single, shaky laugh when Isagi cards a gentle hand through his hair. He can taste salt on his lips and his cheeks feel wet, but his chest is full, and his heart swelled to bursting.
Michael 在Isagi温柔地抚过他的头发时，发出了一声颤抖的轻笑。他尝到了唇上的咸味，脸颊感觉湿润，但胸中却满溢着情感，心脏仿佛要膨胀到爆裂。

Michael’s routine changes like this: on days where he has practice, he wakes up at seven and makes a simple breakfast — eggs and toast and coffee — for two. He drives to Bastard München with a passenger riding shotgun, then practices until the coach calls for a break. At lunchtime, he meets Ness at the cafeteria. Their conversations are still stilted and awkward, but Ness no longer avoids him. It’s the barest of beginnings, if nothing else, of a friendship, something a little more genuine this time. Something new and unfamiliar, yet better than their old dynamic of an inhumane emperor and his puppet magician.
Michael的日常作息如此变化：在有训练的日子里，他七点起床，为两人准备简单的早餐——鸡蛋、吐司和咖啡。他载着副驾驶座的乘客前往巴斯塔德慕尼黑，然后一直练习到教练叫停。午餐时间，他在食堂与 Ness 碰面。他们的对话依旧生硬尴尬，但 Ness 不再回避他。这至少是友谊的微弱开端，这次多了几分真挚。一种崭新而陌生的关系，却比过去那冷酷皇帝与傀儡魔术师的老套模式要好得多。

Yoichi no longer stays as late to practice, so Michael doesn’t either. In the evening, when they leave Bastard, they get takeout, or occasionally, they cook dinner together. Michael’s fridge gains a box of kintsuba, and his shelves become slowly occupied with cookbooks detailing Japanese recipes. The teddy bear with mismatched eyes finds a new home on his, their, bed, and a small succulent plant appears on the windowsill between one night and the next.
Yoichi不再练习到那么晚，所以Michael也不再如此。傍晚时分，他们离开 Bastard 后，会带外卖回家，偶尔也会一起做饭。Michael的冰箱里多了一盒金平糖，书架上也渐渐摆满了介绍日本食谱的烹饪书。那只眼睛不匹配的泰迪熊在他们的床上找到了新家，而一盆小小的多肉植物不知何时出现在窗台上。

Every day around midnight, Michael climbs into bed. He wraps an arm around Yoichi’s waist and presses a kiss to his forehead, then falls asleep to the beating of Yoichi’s heart, steady and warm.
每天午夜时分，Michael 爬上床。他伸出一只手臂环住 Yoichi 的腰，轻轻吻了吻他的额头，然后在 Yoichi 平稳而温暖的心跳声中入睡。

Rinse, repeat. 冲洗，重复。

This, Michael Kaiser thinks, was what it felt like to be ruined by Isagi Yoichi. This was what it felt like to be shattered and broken and remade all at the hands of the same person.
这，Michael Kaiser 想，就是被 Isagi Yoichi 毁掉的感觉。这就是被同一个人击碎、破碎，然后重塑的感觉。

This was what it felt like to love.
这就是爱的感觉。