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Chapter Text 章节正文

   “What the actual fuck were you two thinking?”
"你们两个到底在想什么？"

   Henry and Alex sit before Zahra’s desk in her office like two naughty school children about to be given detention, the former with his morning cup of tea in hand.
亨利和亚历克斯坐在扎赫拉办公室的办公桌前，就像两个即将被留堂的淘气小学生，前者手里还端着他的早茶。

   “Causing another scene? Another national incident - and with the Lord of Arkansas, no less? God, I didn’t know this was a PR-ruining free for all.”
"又一次闹事？又一次全国性事件，而且还是和阿肯色州的州长？天啊，我不知道这是个破坏公关的免费活动。"

   “Zahra, we can explain-”
"扎赫拉，我们可以解释......"

   “ No , Alex. You lost your fucking shit and punched the Lord of Arkansas, not once but twice . And before you give me all that alpha dominance bullshit, just don’t. You’ve made this hard enough. And you .” When Zahra turns to Henry, she looks genuinely disappointed. “I expected more from you. Why in the fuck would you be flirting with another alpha when you’re meant to be pretending to be claimed by Alex?”
"不，亚历克斯。你失去了你他妈的狗屎 和一拳阿肯色州的主， 不是一次，而是两次。在你给我所有的 阿尔法主导废话，只是没有。你已经让我够呛了而你......"当扎拉转向亨利时，她看起来真的很失望。"我对你的期望更高。你他妈为什么要和另一个首领调情 而你应该假装被亚历克斯占有？"

   Henry looks down, a little ashamed. But mostly not. To be very honest, not a lot can dim the glow of “ I was fucked for hours on end last night ”, and not even the bags under Henry’s eyes or the tiredness can make him cranky.
亨利低下头，有点羞愧。但大部分时候并没有。老实说，没有什么能让 "我昨晚连续干了几个小时 "的光芒黯淡下来，甚至亨利的眼袋和疲惫也不能让他变得暴躁。

   “I’m sorry, Zahra. Truly. But don’t you think this might even be beneficial to our ruse? By Alex getting all worked up and then storming off with me in tow, everyone will be proper convinced that we’re together. It’s the perfect display. People will love it - they love drama. Amp up the alpha possessiveness, and Bob’s your uncle.” They both give Henry a weird look at the saying but ultimately ignore it. Americans and their bloody idiosyncrasies .
"对不起，扎赫拉。真的但你不觉得这对我们的诡计有好处吗？艾丽克丝激动起来 然后带着我冲出去 大家就会相信我们在一起了这是一个完美的展示。人们会喜欢的，他们喜欢戏剧性。再加上阿尔法的占有欲，鲍勃就是你的叔叔了。他们都用怪异的眼神看了亨利一眼，但最终都忽略了这句话。美国人和他们该死的怪癖

   Zahra thinks for a moment, and then raises her eyebrows, slightly impressed. “You’re not… wrong. But I’m still annoyed at you two - we now have to make amends with our rival Lord of Arkansas, not to mention I had to listen to you two all fucking night. ”
扎赫拉想了一会儿，然后扬起眉毛，略有所思。"你没有......错。但我还是对你们俩很恼火--我们现在不得不向我们的对手阿肯色州领主赔礼道歉，更何况我还得听你们俩他妈的说上一整晚。"

   Henry spits out his tea and Alex chokes on a laugh, slapping the desk in front of them loudly. He can feel his face burning up again, and clears his throat, eyes wide.
亨利把茶吐了出来，亚历克斯笑得噎住了，大声拍打着他们面前的桌子。他能感觉到自己的脸又在发烧，他清了清嗓子，眼睛瞪得大大的。

   “Erm. Anyway. Moving on.”
"呃Anyway.继续前进。"

   Alex has a self-satisfied smirk on his face that Henry would give anything to slap right off , but he’s too embarrassed to do much now other than close his eyes and hope that everything will melt and disappear and become a lovely dream where no one calls him out for his… nightly activities.
亚历克斯一脸自得的傻笑，亨利恨不得一巴掌把他扇下去，但他现在太尴尬了，只能闭上眼睛，希望一切都会融化消失，变成一个可爱的梦，在梦里没有人会因为他的......夜间活动而责备他。

   “So…” Henry pauses. “How are we meant to make amends with him? Considering Alex sort of… beat him up. In front of everybody.” He winces.
"那么......"亨利停顿了一下"我们该如何向他赔罪？考虑到亚历克斯算是......揍了他一顿。当着所有人的面他抽了抽鼻子。

   “I didn’t beat him up , I just gave him a little-”
"我没有打他，我只是给了他一点--"

   “Quiet, Alex. I need to think .” Zahra massages her temples and lets one out of a million long-suffering sighs. Immediately, Henry feels bad, because technically he caused all of this. Or at least had a hand in it. He won’t be blamed for Alex’s typical bullshit behaviour - though he cannot bring himself to regret much because, despite his mortification at Zahra calling him out, he did thoroughly enjoy last night. Alex was… something.
"安静，亚历克斯。我需要思考......"扎赫拉按摩着太阳穴，发出了一声长长的叹息。亨利立刻感到很难过，因为严格来说，这一切都是他造成的。至少他也有份。他不会因为亚历克斯典型的胡闹行为而受到责备--尽管他无法让自己后悔太多，因为尽管他对扎赫拉骂他感到羞愧，但他昨晚确实非常享受。亚历克斯是个......了不起的人。

   Alex was also uncovering new kinks that Henry didn’t even know he had. He was a simple man - all Henry had really wanted all his life was a bit of peace, a stack of Jane Austen books to read, and all the tea he could ask for. Maybe a quiet place to settle down after everything with the army. A therapist (thank God for Shaan) to help him… deal with his family’s bullshit and whatever emotional scars the army had left on him (probably quite a few, but considering he’d only just been honourably discharged, he didn’t think there was enough time to even begin to unpack all of that yet).
亚历克斯还发现了亨利自己都不知道的新癖好。他是个简单的人--亨利这一生真正想要的就是一点宁静，一摞简-奥斯汀的书可以读，还有他能要求的所有茶水。也许在经历了军队的一切之后，他还想找个安静的地方安顿下来。一个心理医生（感谢上帝让他有了肖恩）来帮助他......处理家庭的琐事和军队给他留下的任何情感伤疤（可能有不少，但考虑到他才刚刚光荣退伍，他认为还没有足够的时间来解开这些伤疤）。

   Henry liked to think he enjoyed sex a normal amount. He tried not to be sucked into all the omega and alpha bollocks, so it was handy having everyone think he was simply a beta. It was a little hard to hide it during sex earlier but he made do with what he could.
亨利喜欢自以为是地享受性爱。他不想被那些欧米茄和阿尔法的胡说八道所迷惑，所以让每个人都认为他只是个贝塔很方便。虽然在刚才的性爱中有点难以掩饰，但他还是尽力而为了。

   But Alex - it was like something was set off in him. He was hungry for him. Constantly. Henry never used to want to be dominated so badly. Like he said, he tried not to be sucked into the omega and alpha bollocks. But fuck, he liked everything Alex was doing. If he was completely honest, he loved it. He loved that Alex wasn’t afraid to give him everything and more, yet he knew he was always safe with him, despite his perpetual dislike of the alpha.
但是亚历克斯，他的内心好像被什么东西触动了。他渴望得到他持续不断亨利以前从未如此渴望被支配就像他说的，他试着不被欧米茄和阿尔法的胡说八道所迷惑。但他喜欢亚历克斯所做的一切老实说，他喜欢这样。他喜欢亚历克斯不怕给他一切，甚至更多，但他知道和他在一起永远是安全的，尽管他永远不喜欢阿尔法。

    Alright , maybe not perpetual. Maybe not dislike, either. Henry and Shaan had talked about practising honesty with himself, and… he tolerated Alex. Sometimes, that bloody dimwit of a man was funny. And handsome. And the sex… well. Henry doesn’t have it in him to lie to himself about that, which is how he got himself in this mess in the first place. It’s okay to be attracted to the odd arsehole, right?
好吧，也许不是永远。也许也不是不喜欢。亨利和陕恩曾说过要对自己诚实，而且......他还能容忍亚历克斯。有时候，那个蠢货还挺有趣的也很帅做爱......嗯。亨利不会在那方面欺骗自己 所以他才会陷入困境被混蛋吸引也没什么，对吧？

   Soon they were both sharply dismissed from Zahra’s office (“ get the hell out of here before I lose my shit with you two ”), and Henry realises it might be the first free day he’s had without June and Nora since they arrived in LA.
亨利意识到，这可能是自从琼和诺拉来到洛杉矶后，他度过的第一个没有她们的空闲日子。

   He heads back to their suite, intent on curling up on the couch with a cup of tea and his worn, old edition of a collection of Tennyson’s poems, but casts a suspicious glance over his shoulders.
他回到他们的套房，打算蜷缩在沙发上，喝杯茶，翻翻他那本破旧的丁尼生诗集，但他的肩膀上却闪过一丝可疑的目光。

   “You’re following me. Again. Do all Texan lords have stalker-ish habits or is it just you?”
"你在跟踪我。又来了德克萨斯的领主都有跟踪狂的习惯吗 还是只有你有这种习惯？"

   Alex looks amused. “This is my room, too, you realise. It’s not, like, your own personal wing or something.”
亚历克斯看起来很开心。"这也是我的房间，你知道的。又不是你的私人厢房什么的。"

   “Well, I wish it was,” Henry mutters as he opens the door.
"嗯，我也希望是这样，"亨利一边嘟囔着，一边打开了门。

   “Sure.” Alex gives him a look, flopping onto their bed.
"当然"亚历克斯看了他一眼，翻身坐到了床上。

   “Sure?” "确定？"

   “Come on, Hen. You love sharing a room with me. And how could I blame you? I mean, who wouldn’t?” The insufferable man smirks up at him, looking like the epitome of a lazy god lounging on the bed. Henry almost imagines omega servants combing their fingers through his hair, bringing him plump grapes on silver platters, and - no. He banishes the image, glaring at Alex. He takes it back. He does hate him.
"来吧，母鸡。你喜欢和我共处一室我怎么能怪你呢？我是说，谁不喜欢呢？"这个让人难以忍受的男人冲着他傻笑，看起来就像一个懒惰的上帝躺在床上。亨利几乎可以想象欧米茄仆人用手指梳理他的头发，用银盘给他端来丰满的葡萄，然后--不。他放弃了这个想象，瞪着亚历克斯。他收回了想象。他确实恨他。

   In the end, Henry only mutters, “you’re a wanker,” and then grabs his book and goes to make a cup of tea, then falling in an unceremonious heap on the couch. After a few minutes, an annoying sigh and then an even more annoying voice interrupts him.
最后，亨利只嘟囔了一句 "你是个混蛋"，就拿起书去泡茶，然后毫不客气地瘫倒在沙发上。几分钟后，一声烦人的叹息和一个更烦人的声音打断了他。

   “I wish I could be doing more.”
"我希望我能做得更多"

   Henry looks up from his book, annoyed . “What?”
亨利从书本中抬起头，恼怒地问道."怎么了？"

   “I wish I could… help. With political stuff more,” Alex says, staring at the ceiling.
"我希望我能......帮忙。政治方面的事。"亚历克斯盯着天花板说。

   Henry’s confused. “Aren’t you… the Lord of Texas?”
亨利很困惑"你不是......德州之主吗？"

   “Yeah, but the title is almost purely figurehead. Mom does basically everything and I’m just here to sit still and look pretty, I guess.” The lord lets his head loll to the side and grins at Henry, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. Clearly, this is… bothering him.
"是啊，但这个头衔几乎纯粹是个形象代言人。妈妈基本上什么都做，我只是在这里静静地坐着，看起来很美吧。"领主把头偏向一边，对亨利咧嘴一笑，但没有和他对视。显然，这让他......很困扰。

   “Oh.” That’s most of what Henry can manage, because for the first time in a long time, he’s a bit lost for words. Confused.
"哦"这就是亨利能说的大部分话，因为很久以来，他第一次有点不知所措。困惑

   “I feel like I just have to sit around until I’m called in to make some appearance or do a photoshoot, and it kinda kills me. To… sit around while I could be doing something to, I don’t know, help my state. I just wish Mom would let me help more, but she’s always so, like, adamant on doing everything herself.”
"我觉得我只能坐着，直到被叫去露面或拍照，这有点要了我的命。我本可以做些什么来帮助我的国家，却只能......坐以待毙。我只希望妈妈能让我多帮点忙 但她总是坚持什么事都亲力亲为"

   They both sit in silence for a few minutes, and Henry feels it - his heart softens a little bit. Just a tad. Because… he cares. Alex cares . And there’s so much going on behind the scenes that he never knew about, and he always just assumes , but maybe the picture of Alex he’s been holding onto in his mind was simply the one the press projected, and Henry feels so stupid .
他们俩默默地坐了几分钟，亨利感觉到了--他的心软了一点。只是一点点。因为......他在乎。亚历克斯在乎有那么多他从来不知道的幕后故事，他总是想当然地认为，但也许他脑海中的艾丽克丝形象只是媒体投射出来的，亨利觉得自己太愚蠢了......

   The arrogance, the overconfidence, the brashness, the hostility and entitlement - that’s what they wanted him to see. And he drank it all up like it was poisoned tea, and now he just feels so incredibly, utterly stupid.
傲慢、过度自信、蛮横、敌意和权利--这就是他们想让他看到的。他就像喝了毒茶一样一饮而尽，现在他只觉得自己蠢得令人难以置信。

   “I’m… sorry.” "我......对不起。"

   “For what?” Alex asks, and Henry thinks that they both know what this apology really is. 
"为什么？"亚历克斯问，亨利觉得他们都知道这道歉到底是为了什么。

   “I was wrong about you. You’re…”
"我看错你了你......"

   “Handsome? Hilarious? Charming? The best thing that ever happened to you?”
"帅气？搞笑？迷人？"你遇到过的最好的事？"

   Henry snorts. “Sure. But what I mean to say is, you’re more than I thought you were. And you’ve helped me through all the PR bollocks, and you’re not just a rich, entitled snob.”
亨利嗤之以鼻。"当然，但我想说的是，你比我想象的还要优秀。你帮我解决了所有公关上的麻烦，你不仅仅是个有钱、有权的势利小人。"

   Alex grins at him, and then softens a little. “Thank you. I’m sorry, too. For being an asshole when we met, and being an asshole most of the time. And I’m sorry that you don’t think Empire is the best Star Wars movie, because clearly that means there must be something a little wrong with you.”
艾利克斯冲他咧嘴一笑，然后稍微缓和了一下。"谢谢你，我也很抱歉。我也很抱歉。我们刚认识时我是个混蛋，大部分时间我也是个混蛋。我也很抱歉你不认为《帝国》是最好的《星球大战》电影，因为很明显，这意味着你肯定有点问题。"

   Henry narrows his eyes. “I take it back. You are a rich, entitled snob-” He’s suddenly muffled against Alex’s hand as the lord eats up the distance between them, eyes wide.
亨利眯起了眼睛。"我收回刚才的话。你是个有钱又有权的势利小人--"他突然被亚历克斯的手闷住了，因为这位贵族正在蚕食他们之间的距离，眼睛瞪得大大的。

   “We were just getting somewhere , Henry, c’mon-”
"我们才刚有进展，亨利，别这样"

   Henry wrenches Alex’s hand off of his mouth in order to continue spewing insults at the lord, but is quickly shut up with a kiss, and- oh. It’s… different.
亨利把亚历克斯的手从他嘴上扯下来，想继续辱骂领主，但很快就被一个吻堵住了嘴，然后--哦。这......不一样。

   They’ve never kissed just for the sake of it before, and Henry finds himself melting into it; savouring the taste of Alex on his tongue. Maybe it’s just him, but this kiss feels softer. More tender, filled with some sort of emotion, and Henry feels cared for in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. He feels so unsure, and yet, he sinks into it, allowing the depths to swallow him whole. Please , he begs in his mind. 
他们以前从未为了接吻而接吻，亨利发现自己已经融入其中，细细品味亚历克斯舌尖上的味道。也许只是他的错觉，但这个吻感觉更柔软。更温柔了，充满了某种情感，亨利感觉到了久违的关怀。他感觉很不确定，但还是沉浸其中，任由深情将他整个人吞没。求求你，他在心里乞求着。

   He doesn’t know what he’s begging for - more, less, harder, softer? But it reminds him of last night - the way Alex had kissed him while he’d fucked Henry, possessive and all-consuming. But at the same time, oh so soft.
他不知道自己在乞求什么--更多，更少，更用力，更柔软？但这让他想起了昨晚--亚历克斯在他和亨利做爱时亲吻他的方式，充满占有欲，让人欲罢不能。但同时，又是那么柔软。

   They break for a second to catch their breath, and Alex grins down at him, licking his lips. Looking like he owns Henry, and he finds himself saying-
他们休息了一会儿，喘了口气，亚历克斯咧嘴笑着看着他，舔了舔嘴唇。看起来他拥有亨利，他发现自己在说--

   “Alex.” "亚历克斯"

   “Mmm?” "嗯？"

   “I need you to know - just one thing.” Henry clears his throat. “While I am, unfortunately, attracted to you, that's it. You can have me in the bedroom, but outside - I am my own person, alright?”
"我要告诉你一件事"亨利清了清嗓子。"虽然很不幸，我被你吸引了，但仅此而已。你可以在卧室里拥有我，但在外面，我是我自己，好吗？"

   Alex thinks for a second and nods, and Henry finds himself wondering what’s going on in his brain. “I understand. You like it, though? When I call you mine?”
亚历克斯想了一会儿，点了点头，亨利发现自己不知道他脑子里在想些什么。"我明白了。不过你喜欢吗？当我叫你 "我的 "的时候？

   Henry feels a pleasant shiver run through him at the words, heat pooling at his crotch. “Yes. Very much so.”
亨利听了这话，感觉浑身一颤，胯下热流涌动。"是的，非常喜欢"

   Alex only smirks at him, and they spend the rest of the day in each others’ presence, and it’s nice. Really nice. 
亚历克斯只是对他笑笑，接下来的一天他们都在对方的陪伴下度过，感觉很好。真的很好

______________

   The next day, everyone is flown back to Austin to the Claremont-Diazs’ extensive home, and Henry finds himself back in Shaan’s office after not too long. For some reason, this session feels different, and Henry is slightly bundled with nerves. Maybe it’s the aftermath of the ball and the night itself, or maybe it’s the possibility of Shaan ripping into him like Zahra had. Though less likely, it still presents itself as an option in Henry’s mind.
第二天，所有人都乘飞机回到奥斯汀，回到克莱蒙特-迪亚兹夫妇宽敞的家中，没过多久，亨利发现自己又回到了陕的办公室。出于某种原因，这次谈话感觉有所不同，亨利略显紧张。也许是因为舞会和那晚的后遗症，也许是因为陕可能会像扎赫拉那样对他大打出手。虽然可能性较小，但在亨利看来，这仍然是一种选择。

  But Shaan does not, in fact, berate Henry and his actions. Instead, he’s the kindest person that Henry has had to deal with since meeting Alex, and it’s incredibly refreshing - he wonders if maybe that’s because Shaan has been the only other British person in his immediate vicinity for the past couple months. 
但事实上，陕并没有责备亨利和他的行为。相反，他是亨利认识亚历克斯后所接触过的最和蔼可亲的人，这让他感到非常新鲜--他不知道这是否是因为在过去的几个月里，陕一直是他身边唯一的英国人。

   To be completely honest, Henry had never really found Shaan to be scary, or rude, or brash like Zahra sometimes was, but he never… connected to the man. However, this time, Henry feels seen.
老实说，亨利从未觉得陕真的可怕、粗鲁或像扎赫拉有时那样蛮横，但他从未......与这个男人联系在一起。然而，这一次，亨利觉得自己被看见了。

  When he enters the room, Henry expects the usual rug on the floor with sofa chairs and crisp white papers stacked neatly on the small round table. But this time, he’s surprised to find hot tea in a ‘Fuck America’ cup, with fresh biscuits laid out on a paper free table. The tea’s smoke wafts up into the air, and the biscuits’ smell beckons him a little closer. Shaan sits in his usual sofa chair, cradling a ‘World’s Sexiest Therapist’ mug, and he smiles when Henry walks over. 
走进房间，亨利以为地板上会像往常一样铺着地毯，摆着沙发椅，小圆桌上整齐地堆放着洁白的纸张。但这一次，他惊讶地发现 "去他妈的美国 "杯中盛着热茶，无纸桌上摆放着新鲜的饼干。茶的烟味飘散在空气中，饼干的香味吸引他走近一点。陕坐在他常坐的沙发椅上，手里拿着一个 "世界上最性感的治疗师 "杯子，当亨利走过来时，他笑了。

  “From what Zahra told me, it seems like you had a pretty eventful night.” Henry turns a dark red. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to berate you. Come sit, have some tea and biscuits.”
"从扎拉告诉我的情况来看 你今晚过得很不平静"亨利脸色变得通红。"别担心，我不是来责备你的。过来坐，喝点茶，吃点饼干。"

   “Thanks,” Henry murmurs in relief as he perches on the sofa and takes a long drink of his Earl Grey. He’ll have to get the brand off from Shaan; it was creamy and soft and everything an Earl Grey should be. 
"谢谢，"亨利如释重负地喃喃自语，他坐在沙发上，长长地喝了一口伯爵茶。他得从 Shaan 那里买下这个牌子；它口感细腻、柔和，是伯爵茶应有的一切。

   “Not a problem at all.” Shaan gives him a small smile. “So. Would you like to tell me about the ball?”
"完全没问题"。陕安对他微微一笑。"那么，你想跟我说说舞会的事吗？"

   Henry shifts nervously in his seat. He almost decides against it, but Shaan was his therapist. The man that Henry chose to talk to. 
亨利紧张地在座位上晃来晃去。他几乎决定反对，但沙恩是他的治疗师。亨利选择与他交谈。

He concedes. “Yes. Alright.” And he does talk. He tells Shaan about the man who ran at Henry and Alex, and how disconcertingly concerned and gentle Alex was about it. He tells Shaan about the ball, about Tyler and Alex’s stupid fight. And he tells him about… after. A little bit. To be fair, Henry is very vague about the whole thing and blushes furiously thinking about it, and tries changing the subject multiple times.
他承认了"是的，好吧"他确实说了他告诉陕恩那个冲向亨利和艾丽克丝的男人 还有艾丽克丝对他的关心和温柔 是多么令人不安他告诉陕恩舞会的事 泰勒和艾丽克丝愚蠢的争吵他还告诉他......之后的事。一点点公平地说，亨利对整件事含糊其辞，想起来就脸红，还多次试图转移话题。

   And Shaan simply sits and listens. After Henry is finished talking, Shaan thinks for a while, while Henry nervously eats three biscuits in a row.
而 Shaan 只是坐在一旁倾听。亨利说完后，陕思考了一会儿，亨利则紧张地连吃了三块饼干。

   “First of all, are you okay, Henry?” Shaan begins. “What you went through - the person who ran at you two, and everything after - sounds… traumatic. Quite so. Are you alright?”
"首先，你还好吗，亨利？"陕开始说。"你所经历的一切--冲向你们俩的人，以及之后发生的一切--听起来......很痛苦。相当痛苦。你还好吗？"

   Henry’s about to divert to his usual answer of I’m fine, don’t worry, I’ll deal with it , but Shaan gives him a look that tells him he’ll be taking no bollocks and Henry relents, blowing out a breath. “I’m a bit shaken up, honestly. I mean, for heavens’ sake, I was in the military - I’ve taken bullets. I should be fine.” He pauses. “And I’m annoyed. At Alex, surprise surprise, for getting into all his alpha male bullshit with Tyler, and causing such a scene. I mean, I knew alphas could be possessive, but bloody hell…” Henry trails off.
亨利正想改用他惯用的回答：我很好，别担心，我会处理好的，但肖恩给了他一个眼神，告诉他他不会再胡说八道了，亨利这才松了口气，吹了一口气。"说实话，我有点动摇了。我是说，看在上帝的份上，我当过兵，挨过子弹。我应该没事的。"他停顿了一下。"我很恼火。我很恼火，恼火亚历克斯，恼火他和泰勒在一起，恼火他和泰勒在一起，恼火他和泰勒在一起，恼火他和泰勒在一起。我是说，我知道阿尔法会有占有欲，但该死的......"亨利断断续续地说。

   “It’s good to know when you aren’t alright. Despite being in the military, which evidently took its toll on you - but we’ll explore that another time - things can still affect you. As for Alex…” Shaan sighs. “He’s a handful, yes. But from what you told me, Henry, you don’t hate the possessiveness as much as you’re telling me.”
"当你不舒服的时候，知道这一点很好。尽管你曾在军队服役，这显然对你造成了影响--但我们下次再探讨这个问题--事情仍然会影响你。至于亚历克斯......"陕叹了口气。"他是个棘手的家伙，没错。但从你告诉我的情况来看，亨利，你并不像你告诉我的那样讨厌他的占有欲。"

   Henry scoffs and sips his tea indignantly. “I don’t know what you’re on about, Shaan. It’s proper stupid. It’s insufferable.” But his cheeks warm yet again that day when he thinks about how that translated in the bedroom. But further than that, as well - how worried Alex had seemed after that almost-attack, how… protective he’d been afterwards. It almost made sense how touchy he was about Tyler afterwards.
亨利嗤之以鼻，愤愤地抿了一口茶。"我不知道你在说什么，肖恩。这太愚蠢了。真让人受不了。"但那天当他想到这句话在卧室里的效果时，他的脸颊又热了起来。除此之外，他还想到了亚历克斯在那次差点被袭击的事件后显得有多担心，他事后又有多么......保护自己。他后来对泰勒有多敏感，这几乎是有道理的。

   Shaan smiles knowingly. “Henry. It’s alright to like it. I know your relationship with your second sex is complicated, but accepting that part of yourself isn’t a bad thing. Alex wants to take care of you, and you want to be taken care of. You can be an independent man whilst enjoying that.”
陕露出了会心的微笑。"亨利。喜欢就好。我知道你和第二性的关系很复杂，但接受自己的这一部分并不是坏事。亚历克斯想照顾你，你也想被照顾。你可以做一个独立的男人 同时享受这种生活"

   Henry thinks for a minute. Shaan isn’t… wrong, per se.
亨利想了一会儿。Shaan 本身并没有......错。

   “Not to mention your flirtations with Tyler. Why do you think you did that?”
"更别提你和泰勒的调情了你觉得你为什么要那么做？"

   Henry wonders, annoyedly, what that has to do with anything. “I don’t know. To antagonise Alex, who was being his usual incredibly annoying self.”
亨利恼火地想，这有什么关系。"我也不知道。为了和亚历克斯作对，他还是一如既往地令人讨厌。"

   Shaan raises an eyebrow. “Not to make him jealous?”
陕扬起眉毛。"不会让他吃醋吧？"

   The words hit Henry like a brick. Of course he hadn’t. He didn’t give a rat’s arse if Alex was jealous or not… Did he? “Jealous?”
这句话像一块砖头砸在亨利的心上。他当然没有。他才不管亚历克斯吃不吃醋呢......他有吗？"吃醋？"

   “Yes, jealous.” Shaan rolls his eyes teasingly. “And you succeeded in this, didn’t you?”
"是的，嫉妒"。陕逗地翻了个白眼。"你成功了，不是吗？"

   Henry feels a bit sick. Surely Shaan couldn’t be suggesting he had feelings for the lord. That was ludicrous. Out of the question. But he couldn’t deny the satisfaction he’d felt, making Alex jealous, and of course, what followed.
亨利感觉有点不舒服。陕肯定不是在暗示他对领主有感情。这太可笑了。不可能但他无法否认自己的满足感 让艾丽克丝吃醋 当然还有后来的事

   “Yes,” Henry says, “but it doesn’t matter how I did it. I infuriated him, that was the plan, not making him jealous over me.”
"是的，"亨利说，"但我怎么做的并不重要。我激怒了他，这就是我的计划，而不是让他为我吃醋。"

   Shaan watched him for a moment, and Henry could feel him evaluating whether to push Henry, but clearly deciding against it. He pushes the subject into more familiar ground, and Henry is grateful for the change in pace.
陕观察了他一会儿，亨利能感觉到他在评估是否要逼亨利，但显然决定不这么做。他把话题推到了更熟悉的地方，亨利对节奏的改变表示感谢。

   “Aside from that, have you thought more about going off your suppressants?”
"除此之外，你有没有考虑过停止服用抑制剂？"

   Henry had. And it surprised him to find that he was beginning to feel more and more okay with being an omega. He still didn’t like it, but… it was a part of him.
亨利就是这样他惊讶地发现自己开始越来越喜欢当欧米茄了他仍然不喜欢这样，但......这是他的一部分。

   “Yes, I have. I think… I’m beginning to become alright with being an omega. It’s a part of me, whether I like it or not, despite everything my Grandma’s taught me. It’s not so bad. Maybe I’m ready to go off - not right now, of course, but soon.”
"是的，我有。我想......我开始接受自己是欧米茄的身份了。这是我的一部分，不管我喜不喜欢 尽管我奶奶教了我很多东西也没那么糟也许我已经准备好离开了 当然不是现在，但是很快"

   And Shaan genuinely smiles, a wide, warm one. “That’s wonderful to hear, Henry. I’m so glad you’re coming to terms with yourself.”
陕真的笑了，笑得很灿烂，很温暖。"真高兴听到你这么说，亨利。我很高兴你能接受自己。"

   Henry smiles back. “Thank you. It’s all thanks to you, anyway. I’d never have been able to open up like this if it weren’t for you. Truly, thank you.” Shaan nods in acknowledgement, a proud look displayed on his face.
亨利回以微笑。"谢谢你不管怎么说，这都是你的功劳。如果不是你，我永远也不会像现在这样敞开心扉。真的，谢谢你。"陕点头致谢，脸上露出自豪的神情。

   The two share a moment as Henry finishes his tea, before Shaan checks his watch. “Unfortunately, that’s our time. I’ll look forward to seeing you next week.”
亨利喝完茶后，两人分享了片刻，然后沙恩看了看表。"很遗憾，我们的时间到了。期待下周再见。"

    A few days later, Henry wakes up in his and Alex’s room to find Alex gone. As hard as it is, he finds the strength to drag himself out of bed to make a cup of tea, and finds himself wandering the halls of the Claremonts’ Texan estate, left alone with his thoughts to ruminate (which is never a good idea when it comes to Henry).
几天后，亨利在他和亚历克斯的房间里醒来，发现亚历克斯不见了。好不容易，他鼓起勇气下床泡了杯茶，发现自己在克莱蒙特家德克萨斯庄园的大厅里闲逛，一个人胡思乱想（对亨利来说，这绝不是个好主意）。

   As he floats through the large house like a ghost, he realises he’s beginning to find it increasingly more difficult to deny the unfortunately plausible theory that he might not loathe Alex entirely. That he might… have some more feelings for him than he thought he did. That he’s not missing Alex whenever the alpha has to spend time away for solo PR trips; that he’s not roaming the lord’s very own home looking for him like a lost puppy; that he’s not hoping to find Alex lazing on some couch waiting for him with a drawl: “ took you long enough to find me, sweetheart.”
当他像幽灵一样在大房子里飘荡时，他意识到自己开始越来越难以否认一个不幸的合理理论：他可能并不完全厌恶亚历克斯。他可能......对他的感情比他想象的要多一些。每当首领独自外出公关时，他并没有想念艾利克斯；他并没有像走失的小狗一样，在领主的家里四处寻找他；他并没有希望找到艾利克斯，懒洋洋地躺在沙发上，嘟着嘴等着他："你花了足够长的时间才找到我，亲爱的"

   Eventually Henry’s had enough of his thoughts and goes to knock on June’s door, hoping for some company to distract himself. The woman in question opens his door, grinning when she sees it’s him.
最后，亨利想得够多了，他去敲琼的门，希望能有个伴儿分散一下注意力。女主人打开门，看到是他后咧嘴一笑。

   “Henry! Oh my god, come in, come in,” she says warmly, ushering him inside, and before Henry knows it he’s sitting on the couch with another warm mug of tea, June chattering while curled up on the other end of the sofa.
"亨利天哪，快进来，快进来，"她热情地说，把他迎进屋里，还没等亨利反应过来，他就坐在沙发上又喝了一杯热茶，琼蜷缩在沙发的另一头喋喋不休。

   “Hey June… Can I ask you something?” Henry says eventually. He can almost see June’s proverbial journalist ears prick up.
"嘿，琼......我能问你件事吗？亨利终于开口了。他几乎可以看到茱恩那双众所周知的记者耳朵竖了起来。

   “Of course, Henry. Ask away.”
"当然，亨利。问吧。"

   “About Alex. At the ball, you said all those things about your parents, but…” Henry sighs. “I still don’t understand. Well, I don’t understand Alex. Why does he feel like he has to act like an insensitive bloody dick all the time to cover up how hurt he was by your parents’ divorce?”
"关于亚历克斯。在舞会上，你说了很多关于你父母的话，但是......"亨利叹了口气"我还是不明白。我不理解亚历克斯。为什么他觉得自己必须一直表现得像个麻木不仁的混蛋，才能掩盖你父母离婚给他带来的伤害？"

   June thinks for a moment, and Henry’s about to backtrack when she sets her own mug of coffee down. “What you don’t know about Alex, Henry, is that he still feels all of the pressure of having to live up to Mom and Dad. I mean…” She blows out a breath. “I’m sorry, this is still kinda hard for me to talk about.”
琼想了一会儿，亨利正要反驳，她却放下了自己的咖啡杯。"亨利，你不知道的是，艾利克斯仍然感受到要对得起爸妈的压力。我是说......"她吹了一口气。"对不起，我还是有点难以启齿。"

   “No, no, I’m sorry if I overstepped at all. Take your time, June,” Henry says, wincing a little. Maybe he was the one being a bit insensitive here.
"不，不，如果我越权了，我很抱歉。慢慢来，琼。"亨利说着，有点畏缩。也许是他有点麻木不仁。

   “It’s okay. I mean, what I’m getting at is, he always feels the need to do so much and Mom never lets him. Her being the Lady of Texas and Dad being who he is, it’s been hard for him in a way it’s never been for me. And the other thing is, don’t get me wrong, alpha’s are one hundred percent the top of the social hierarchy, but there’s so much toxicity in it that he can’t help but be exposed to. It’s really fucking shit, to be honest, and with everything adding up like that, it’s as if he’s never allowed to show emotion. I’ve tried to help him, of course, but it’s hard for him to open up.” June takes a shaky breath in, and Henry just breaks . He feels… he doesn’t know what. Empathetic. Terrible . And he has no idea what to say.
"没事的我是说，我想说的是，他总是觉得有必要做这么多事 而妈妈从来不让他做。她是德州夫人，爸爸又是这样的人 这对他来说很难，对我来说却从未如此还有一件事，别误会我的意思 阿尔法家族是社会等级制度的顶端 但其中有太多的毒害，他不能不接触到老实说，这真他妈的糟透了，所有的事情加在一起，就好像他永远都不能表达情感一样。当然，我也试着帮他，但他很难敞开心扉。"琼颤抖地吸了一口气，亨利就这样崩溃了......。他感觉......他不知道是什么。同情.可怕的感觉他不知道该说什么。

   “Fuck, June. I didn’t know all that. I’m so sorry. It must be so hard for both of you,” Henry says with feeling, shifting on the couch and putting his mug down as well.
"操 琼我不知道这些真对不起。对你们俩来说，这一定很艰难。"亨利感慨地说，他在沙发上换了个姿势，把杯子也放了下来。

   June laughs, but it comes out a little watery. “It’s fine, Henry. It’s how we live. And no one has to know - that’s what PR is for, right? Covering up our stupid fucked-up family shit. At least we get the privilege to hide. It’s just that… a lot of people don’t understand this about him, but Alex acts all strong and confident when he just hurts so much because he can’t ever repair this family, but he doesn’t- he doesn’t like showing that part of himself. So he acts like this over-confident shit who holds the world in his palms.” June sniffles a little, and fuck if Henry really, really didn’t realise how much Alex went through when this happened.
琼笑了，但笑声有点含糊不清。"没事的，亨利。我们就是这样生活的。没人会知道，这就是公关的作用，对吗？掩盖我们愚蠢而糟糕的家庭生活。至少我们有隐藏的特权只是......很多人不了解他这一点，但亚历克斯表现得很坚强，很自信，而他只是很痛苦，因为他永远无法弥补这个家庭，但他没有，他不喜欢展示自己的那部分。所以他表现得像个自信满满的混蛋 把世界都握在自己手里琼抽了一下鼻子，如果亨利真的没有意识到亚历克斯在这件事发生时经历了多少，那他就太操蛋了。

   He’s lost for words yet again at the pain he never saw on the inside. “June, I…”
他又一次失语了，因为他从未见过内心的痛苦。"琼，我......"

   June gives him a smile and waves him off. “Don’t worry about us, Henry. At least we have therapists to talk to. There are people out there with nothing. Anyway,” she says brightly, “let’s move on to something a bit lighter. Who’s this ‘Pez’ man you keep bumbling on about?”
茱恩向他微微一笑，挥手让他离开。"别担心我们，亨利。至少我们还有治疗师可以倾诉。外面还有人一无所有呢。不管怎么说，"她高兴地说，"我们还是谈点轻松的话题吧。你一直喋喋不休的那个'佩斯'是谁？"

    Henry smiles back at her, though he’s unable to remove the heavy feeling in his chest whenever he remembers her sombre words about Alex. “Why don’t we call him now? I haven’t seen him in a bit, and it’s not late yet in England.”
亨利对她回以微笑，但每当想起她关于亚历克斯的沉痛话语，他就无法消除胸中的沉重感。"我们为什么不现在就给他打电话呢？我已经很久没见过他了，而且现在英国还不晚。"

   June agrees and they FaceTime him straight away, the lady’s daughter coming to hover over his shoulder and squint at the phone. There’s a sound of the FaceTime finally connecting and then a decidedly effeminate scream and clatter as they are graced with a wonderful view of Pez’s kitchen floor.
茱恩同意了，于是他们就直接 FaceTime 了他，女主人的女儿来到他的肩膀上，眯着眼睛看着手机。FaceTime 终于接通了，然后是一声娘娘腔的尖叫和咔嗒声，他们看到了 Pez 厨房地板上的美妙景色。

   “Holy bloody shit,” comes the tinny audio from his phone. “Bloody fuck, Henry, could you at least give me some warning before you call me with the love of my life right next to you. Good god, I’m barely dressed. My hair is a mess.”
"真他妈见鬼，"他的手机传来尖锐的声音。"我操，亨利，在你打电话给我之前，至少给我提个醒吧，我的爱人就在你身边。天哪，我都没怎么穿衣服。我的头发乱糟糟的。"

   Henry chuckles, June joining him. “That’s all well and good, Pez, but how is she supposed to see your handsome face when all we can see is your floor?”
亨利笑了，琼也笑了。"这很好，佩斯，但我们只能看到你的地板，她怎么能看到你英俊的脸呢？"

   “Henry George Edward James Fox, I am not presentable at this time of night. I have Jaffa cake crumbs all over my face and my hair is wet with dye.” Henry winces at his full name from Pez’s mouth. 
"亨利-乔治-爱德华-詹姆斯-福克斯 这么晚了，我不像样子。我满脸都是雅法蛋糕碎屑 头发也被染湿了"亨利从佩兹嘴里听到自己的全名，不禁打了个寒战。

   “Percy Okonjo. It’s 6:30 in the evening for you, you fool. And you know you’re always handsome, give us a peek.”
"珀西-奥孔乔现在是傍晚六点半，你这个傻瓜。你知道你一直都很帅，给我们看一眼吧。" And you know you're always handsome, give us a peek."

   Pez sighs but when the phone focuses back onto his face he’s grinning delightedly, his hair wet with bright green hair dye. “You bloody charmer. You know just which buttons to push, you cheeky lad, you.”
Pez 叹了口气，但当手机对准他的脸时，他正开心地咧嘴笑着，头发被鲜绿色的染发剂打湿了。"你这该死的骗子。你知道该按哪个按钮，你这个厚脸皮的家伙。"

   June laughs delightedly. “Hi, Pez.”
茱恩开心地笑了"嗨，皮兹"

  “Hello my dear, the love of my life, the best Claremont-Diaz there is,” Pez articulates dramatically, pushing his fingers against his soon to be green hair. June giggles and waves, sliding on a posh faux British accent. 
"你好，亲爱的，我一生的挚爱，最好的克莱蒙特-迪亚兹，"佩兹用手指按了按即将变绿的头发，夸张地说道。茱恩咯咯地笑着挥手，装模作样地学着英国口音。

  “Oh, stop it, you’re making me blush.” Pez winks and Henry groans. He’ll be completely insufferable after this call, he can already hear it. 
"哦，别说了，你让我脸红了"佩兹眨了眨眼睛，亨利呻吟了一声。他已经听出来了，这次通话后，他将完全无法忍受。

  “I’m sure Henry would disagree with the fact I’m the ‘best Claremont-Diaz’.” Henry scoffs. He isn’t wrong, per se, but he’s rather Pez not saying anything since his sister was right here. “No, I’m sure, despite all the hate, that Henry loves Alex.”
"我相信亨利不会同意我是'最好的克莱蒙特 -迪亚兹'"。亨利嗤之以鼻。他本身并没有错，但他宁愿 Pez 什么都不说，因为他姐姐就在这里。"不，我相信，尽管有那么多的仇恨，亨利还是爱亚历克斯的。"

  “I completely agree with you, love of my life ,” June says, teasing Pez a little. Despite the pixelation, Henry is sure Pez is a furious red, matched perfectly with his bright green. 
"我完全同意你的说法，我一生的挚爱。"琼说着，逗了一下佩兹。尽管像素不高，但亨利确信 Pez 是一抹艳红，与他的翠绿色搭配得恰到好处。

  These two had barely talked for five minutes and they were already insufferable .
这两个人还没聊上五分钟，就已经让人忍无可忍了。

  “You two are fucking gits, don’t make me third wheel. Is Bea there, Auntie Pezza? I can’t be the only one going through this,” Henry waves his hands at June and his phone, “nonsense.” June flicks her finger on Henry’s forehead. 
"你们俩真他妈傻，别让我当第三者。碧在吗，佩扎阿姨？我不能是唯一一个经历这些的人，"亨利朝琼和他的手机挥挥手，"胡说八道。"琼用手指弹了弹亨利的额头。

  Pez mimics punching Henry and he rolls his eyes. Git. 
Pez 模仿打亨利，亨利翻了个白眼。吉特

  “I’ll call her, and I’ll get David in here too.” 
"我给她打电话，把戴维也叫来"

  “Oh my god I bloody love you Pez, I haven’t seen my good boy in so long ,” Henry chatters, with June’s head cocked in confusion.
"天哪，我真他妈爱死你了，佩兹，我好久没见到我的好孩子了，"亨利喋喋不休地说着，朱恩则疑惑地歪着头。

  “Who’s David?” "戴维是谁？"

  “Coincidentally, Alex asked the same thing,” Henry chuckles. “David’s my dog, the one who holds the key to my heart, my very good boy who deserves all of the hugs. I haven’t been able to see him for ages . He’s the one who really got me through it all.” 
"巧合的是，亚历克斯也问了同样的问题，"亨利笑着说。"戴维是我的狗，是我的心肝宝贝，是我的好孩子，应该得到所有的拥抱。我已经好久没见到他了。是他让我渡过了难关"。

  June smiles. “I wish I could say the same for us. The only pet I’ve had is a goldfish and Alex killed it.” 
琼微笑着说。"我希望我们也能这么说。我唯一养过的宠物是一条金鱼，亚历克斯把它杀了。"

  “Is that really a surprise?” 
"这真的是个惊喜吗？"

  “What’s a surprise?” A voice asks through the tinny speakers, followed by scatters from what could only be his beloved David. 
"有什么惊喜吗？"一个声音通过尖锐的扬声器问道，紧接着是他心爱的戴维的声音。

  “Bea, please save me from third wheeling,” Henry pleads as David’s face envelopes the screen. June audibly gasps and coos, and David excitedly wiggles around in true David fashion. “ Whoza a good boy, yes you are!” 
"当戴维的脸出现在屏幕上时，亨利恳求道："碧，请把我从'三轮'中拯救出来。茱恩发出惊叹声和咕咕声，戴维则兴奋地扭来扭去，俨然一副戴维的模样。"谁是好孩子，你就是！"

 The view on the screen tilts, and Bea slowly looms into view. Her eyes widen a little, spotting Henry’s company, before she smiles. “You must be June. Henry’s mentioned you quite a bit, and I’m glad to have met the woman that’s made Henry at home.”
屏幕上的画面发生了倾斜，碧慢慢出现在人们的视线中。她的眼睛微微睁大，发现了亨利的陪伴，然后她笑了。"你就是琼吧。亨利经常提到你，我很高兴能见到这个让亨利宾至如归的女人。"

  “That’s a high compliment, and quite sentimental of you, Bea, is something the matter?” Henry teases, Bea scowling, unamused, back at him. David settles himself in between the two, tail wagging happily.
"这是对你的高度赞扬，你还真是多愁善感，碧，有什么事吗？"亨利揶揄道，碧则不以为然地回敬他。大卫坐在两人中间，开心地摇着尾巴。

  “I try to compliment you and your friends for once and of course you have to snark back, you bloody shit. If I was there I’d whack you over the head with my guitar.” June cheekily grabs a pillow, and gently whacks Henry with it. 
"我试着赞美你和你的朋友们一次 你当然要反唇相讥，你这该死的家伙如果我在场，我会用我的吉他砸你的头。"朱恩厚着脸皮抓起一个枕头，轻轻地砸向亨利。

  Bea laughs. “I quite like this one, Henry.”
Bea laughs."我很喜欢这个，亨利"

  “Piss off, Bea. This one’s mine,” Pez exclaims, nose turned upwards in jest. 
"滚开，碧。这个是我的，"佩兹感叹道，鼻子向上翘着以示玩笑。

   Before Henry can get another word in, in between Pez and Bea chattering on and June watching amusedly, the door opens and Alex strides in. June looks up annoyedly at her brother.
亨利还没来得及说上一句话，佩斯和碧就喋喋不休地说了起来，琼在一旁好笑地看着，门开了，亚历克斯大步走了进来。琼恼怒地抬头看了看她哥哥。

   “Hey, you know there’s actually this thing called knocking,” June says faux-brightly. “It’s a relatively new concept, that-”
"嘿，你知道吗，其实有一种东西叫敲门，"琼假惺惺地说。"这是一个相对较新的概念，......"

   “Fucking okay, Bug,” Alex rolls his eyes, coming to sit down next to Henry, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Oh . Well, that’s… new.
"好吧，虫虫，"亚历克斯翻了个白眼，走到亨利身边坐下，在他脸上轻轻啄了一下。哦，这倒......新鲜。

   June and Alex continue squabbling on regardless of Henry, who’s acquired quite the flush to his cheeks, feeling the place where Alex pecked him almost burn. It was… an unwarranted display of affection. More than just sex, certainly, and Henry isn’t quite sure why it leaves his head reeling when, on top of that, Alex lays his large hand casually upon Henry’s thigh and greets Bea and Pez chipperly.
茱恩和艾丽克丝继续争吵着，而亨利却不管不顾，他的脸颊红扑扑的，感觉被艾丽克丝啄过的地方几乎要烧起来了。这是......毫无理由的示爱。当然，这不仅仅是性爱，亨利不知道为什么，当亚历克斯把他的大手随意地放在亨利的大腿上，并高兴地向碧和佩兹打招呼时，他的脑袋里却在回荡。

   Well, maybe he has some idea why it leaves him reeling. It’s no secret to Henry himself that he… well, he supposes he likes it when Alex is affectionate towards him. More than just the sex. Bloody goddamn it, this is the exact fucking thing he’d been trying to avoid thinking about.
好吧，也许他知道为什么会让他心神不宁。对亨利自己来说，他......嗯，他想他喜欢亚历克斯对他有好感，这并不是什么秘密。不仅仅是性爱该死的，这正是他一直不想去想的事情。

   “Henry? Henry, brother mine, fellow Englishman,” Bea is calling out tinnily through the phone. “Earth to Henry. Are you there?”
"亨利？亨利，我的兄弟，英国同胞，"碧在电话里尖声叫道。"地球呼叫亨利。你在吗？"

   “What? Oh. Yes, I’m listening. What were you saying?” Bea gives him a disappointed look. “Actually, Pez was talking. Go on Pez, now you’ve got the whole group’s attention. As you must.”
"什么？Oh.是的，我在听。你刚才说什么？"碧失望地看了他一眼。"其实是佩斯在说。去吧，佩斯，现在你已经吸引了大家的注意力。你必须这样做。"

   “Thank you kindly, Bea. You know it’s impossible for me to function without the spotlight,” Pez grins cheekily, “now, as I was saying…”
"谢谢你的好意，碧。你知道，如果没有聚光灯，我是不可能正常工作的，"佩兹厚着脸皮笑道，"现在，正如我刚才所说......"

   As Pez continues yammering on, in true Auntie Pezza fashion, Henry notices Bea glaring directly at Henry. She then pointedly stares down through the phone at Alex’s hand on his thigh, and then up at his face as if to say, “ what the bloody shit is going on, Henry, we are going to be having a chat about this later ”. Henry gives her a weak smile. Not even he knows what’s going on, and it’s his own life. It’s all wonderfully, stupidly confusing. And yet.
当佩兹继续以佩兹阿姨的方式喋喋不休时，亨利注意到碧正直勾勾地盯着亨利。她尖锐地透过电话盯着亚历克斯放在大腿上的手，然后又抬起头看了看他的脸，好像在说："这到底是怎么回事，亨利，我们待会儿要好好谈谈这件事"。亨利对她微微一笑。连他自己都不知道发生了什么，这是他自己的生活。这一切都太奇妙了，愚蠢得令人困惑。然而

   It’s no secret that at this point no one is paying attention to Pez. June is looking very smugly at Alex and Henry, as if she knows something he doesn’t, which is frankly a bit infuriating, even as Pez chatters on, oblivious. That’s when Nora opens the door, and June gives a faux-frustrated sigh, muttering under her breath something that sounds suspiciously like “ I guess I’ll just have my fucking door removed then, if no one bothers to fucking knock ”.
此时此刻，没有人再关注佩兹，这已经不是什么秘密了。琼一脸得意地看着亚历克斯和亨利，好像她知道什么他不知道的事情似的。这时，诺拉打开了门，琼假装沮丧地叹了口气，小声嘟囔着什么，听起来像是在说："我想，如果他妈的没人敲门，我就把我的门给拆了吧"。

   Nora, who heard nothing, looks at the scene a bit confusedly. “Why are you looking all smug, June? What’s going on?” And then she shifts her gaze to Henry and Alex and promptly silences herself. “Uh huh. Okay.”
什么也没听到的诺拉有些困惑地看着这一幕。"你怎么一副得意洋洋的样子，琼？怎么了？"然后她把视线转移到亨利和亚历克斯身上，并迅速噤声。"嗯哼。好吧

   Henry’s eyebrows knit together. “Okay, what the bloody hell is going on with you toffs? Why does it seem like everyone else seems to know what’s going on in my life except for my own bloody self?”
亨利的眉毛拧在了一起。"好吧，你们这些笨蛋到底是怎么回事？为什么除了我自己，其他人似乎都知道我的生活发生了什么？"

   Bea just smirks at him. “Oh, sod off, Henry. You know very well what’s happening with yourself.”
碧只是冲他傻笑。"哦，滚开，亨利。你很清楚你自己是怎么回事。"

   Sadly, Nora agrees, ganging up on him. “Agreed. There’s a 91.2 percent chance you know exactly what’s going on, and you ain’t admitting it to yourself.” June nods solemnly.
可悲的是，诺拉同意了，一帮人围着他转。"同意你有 91.2% 的可能知道到底发生了什么，但你自己却不承认。"琼郑重地点点头。

   “Wonderful. I suppose it’s ‘let’s gang up on Henry’ day then. Carry on,” Henry says indignantly, lying back on the couch in defeat. Everyone laughs as Nora squeezes on the couch next to Alex and introduces herself to Pez and Bea, via many “ oh, I like you already ”’s.
"太好了我想，今天是'群殴亨利'的日子了。继续吧，"亨利忿忿地说，垂头丧气地躺在沙发上。诺拉挤到亚历克斯旁边的沙发上，向佩兹和碧做自我介绍，说了许多 "哦，我已经喜欢上你了 "的话，大家都笑了起来。

   The impromptu FaceTime call actually ends up lasting a good few hours, and soon it’s approaching 6 in the evening in Texas, and subsequently almost midnight for Bea and Pez. Despite the faint dark circles under their eyes, they’re still kicking, exchanging stories and gossip with June, Nora, Alex and Henry. It’s honestly quite touching, and Henry finds himself pondering the moment they all became such good friends.
这次即兴 FaceTime 通话持续了好几个小时，很快就到了德克萨斯州的傍晚 6 点，对碧和佩兹来说也快到午夜了。尽管眼下有淡淡的黑眼圈，但她们仍然兴致勃勃地和琼、诺拉、亚历克斯和亨利交流着故事和八卦。老实说，这很令人感动，亨利发现自己在思考他们成为好朋友的那一刻。

   Yes, friends . He’d felt so alone when he’d first arrived in America. Sure, he had people he knew. He even had a loose friend circle. But there was never anyone he truly connected with, or anyone who truly made the effort to bring him along to events and such. He mostly went out for drinks alone, waiting for the day of his honourable discharge ceremony in Texas until he could finally go home.
是的，朋友们.初到美国时，他感到非常孤独。当然，他有认识的人。他甚至有一个松散的朋友圈。但从来没有人和他有真正的联系，也没有人真正努力带他参加活动之类的。他大多数时候都是一个人出去喝酒，等待着在德克萨斯州举行光荣退伍仪式的那一天，直到他终于可以回家。

   But he’s starting to realise he likes it here. Henry has… Well, he has friends. Zahra can be bloody mean sometimes, but she cares for Henry almost like a mother. Hell, Henry has a fucking therapist . And he’s happier than ever - he’s actually alright with who he is, at least a little bit. June and Nora are incorrigible gossips, and some of the best women he’s ever met, aside from Bea, of course. And though he sometimes misses the rainy streets of London, and the old buildings and quirky teahouses, he likes it here. He likes Alex .
但他开始意识到他喜欢这里了亨利有......嗯，他有朋友。扎赫拉有时很刻薄 但她对亨利的关心就像母亲一样见鬼 亨利还有个该死的心理医生 Hell, Henry has a fucking therapist.他比以往任何时候都快乐--他对自己的身份很满意，至少有一点。琼和诺拉是无可救药的八卦女，也是他见过的最好的女人，当然，除了碧之外。虽然他有时会想念伦敦的雨巷、古老的建筑和古怪的茶馆，但他喜欢这里。他喜欢亚历克斯

   Which is truly a shocking thought. If someone had told Henry a few weeks ago that he’d be sitting down and having a laugh and a chinwag with Alex Claremont-Diaz, the Lord of Texas, along with both their sisters and respective best friends, he’d probably have thrown up. And then fainted. And then maybe thrown up some more.
这真是一个令人震惊的想法。如果几周前有人告诉亨利，他会和德克萨斯州州长亚历克斯-克莱蒙特-迪亚兹（Alex Claremont-Diaz），还有他们的姐妹和各自的好朋友坐在一起谈笑风生，他可能会吐出来。然后晕倒。也许还会吐得更厉害。

   He’s finally coming to accept how much he truly enjoys his time here. And maybe he’s not out in the army serving his country, maybe he’s not a normal beta man that his grandmother would actually be proud of, but he is happy . And maybe that’s enough for him, at least for now.
他终于开始接受自己是多么享受在这里的时光。也许他不是在军队里为国效力，也许他不是一个让祖母引以为傲的正常男人，但他是快乐的......。也许这对他来说就足够了，至少现在是这样。

   Henry tunes back into the conversation with a stupid smile on his face, which is very promptly wiped off when he hears what Bea is telling June and Nora about.
亨利带着一脸傻笑回到了谈话中，当他听到碧告诉琼和诺拉的事情时，脸上的傻笑马上就被抹去了。

   “And then I FaceTime Henry, you know, to give the lad a call as we do every week, and it’s ringing for a while. It’s all well and good until the call goes through, but I’m not looking at Henry’s face,” Bea is saying with a smirk on her face.
"然后我给亨利打 FaceTime，你知道，就像我们每周做的那样，给小伙子打个电话，电话响了好一会儿。这一切都很好，直到电话接通，但我并没有看到亨利的脸，"碧一脸傻笑地说。

   “Oh my god, what is it? Tell us, Bea ,” June and Nora beg voraciously, obviously keen for any chance to hear about Henry and Alex’s humiliation, and Bea equally keen to provide. The tossers. 
"哦，天哪，怎么了？告诉我们吧，碧。"琼和诺拉贪婪地乞求着，显然她们很想知道亨利和亚历克斯受辱的经过，而碧也同样想知道。折腾人的家伙

   “It’s the ceiling, so I figure Henry must be asleep or something and he accidentally picked up, and then I hear this bloody moaning -”
"是天花板，所以我想亨利一定是睡着了" "他不小心拾起了天花板" "然后我听到了该死的呻吟声"

   Nora gasps. “No! No fucking way -”
诺拉气喘吁吁"不，不可能"

   And Henry borderline yells , “ WELL . It’s getting quite late, especially for you two, seeing as it’s past midnight and you’re clearly a little braindead . So I’ll be heading off, with my phone, and I’ll see everyone in the morning. I’ll call you two bloody shits some time tomorrow. Good night .” 
而亨利则大喊："好吧。现在已经很晚了，尤其是对你们俩来说，因为已经过了午夜，而且你们显然有点脑残。所以我要走了，带着我的手机，明天早上见。明天我会给你们两个混蛋打电话的。晚安

   The last thing everyone sees on the screen before Henry snatches his phone back and promptly hangs up is Bea and Pez cackling maniacally, clutching their bellies with tears in their eyes. Henry’s face is furiously hot, while Alex is just smirking , along with June and Nora who are snickering away evilly like the heathens they are.
在亨利夺回手机并迅速挂断电话之前，大家在屏幕上看到的最后一幕是碧和佩斯抱着肚子狂笑不止，眼里还噙着泪水。亨利的脸上火辣辣的，而亚历克斯只是在傻笑，还有琼和诺拉，她们像异教徒一样邪恶地窃笑着。

   Henry beelines for the door, Alex hot on his tail, and makes it all the way to their bedroom without saying a word, almost slamming the door in Alex’s sniggering face. 
亨利飞快地跑向房门，亚历克斯紧随其后，一言不发地一路跑到他们的卧室，还差点当着亚历克斯的面 "砰 "地关上门。

   “I cannot believe the audacity of those shits, what were they thinking-”
"我真不敢相信这些混蛋的胆量 他们到底在想什么......"

    “Well, I was thinking about how good you sound when you moan.” 
"我在想你呻吟时的声音有多动听"

   Henry shuts his mouth and opens it again. And then shuts it again. Alex smirks, grabbing Henry by the waist. He leans close to Henry’s ear and blows on it softly. He shivers, shifting closer to Alex. Alex’s grip tightens. 
亨利闭上嘴，又张开。然后又闭上。亚历克斯笑着搂住亨利的腰。他凑近亨利的耳朵，轻轻地吹气。亨利浑身颤抖，向亚历克斯靠近。亚历克斯抓得更紧了。

   “Are you going to moan for me tonight, baby?” He whispers lowly, fingers running up and down Henry’s spine. 
"今晚你会为我呻吟吗，宝贝？"他低声说道，手指在亨利的脊柱上来回游走。

   Oh, fuck. That escalated quickly.
妈的升级太快了

  “Insufferable bloody cocksucker,” he mutters and then gasps as Alex nips at his neck, soft lips and sharp teeth biting gently. He can already smell the scent of cedarwood growing stronger, making him dizzy with pleasure. Alex grins against his neck, kissing downwards, while his hands drift upwards. Henry curls a hand in Alex’s soft locks and Alex’s groan vibrates on his skin.
他喃喃自语道："令人讨厌的该死的混蛋。"然后，亚历克斯轻咬他的脖子，柔软的嘴唇和锋利的牙齿轻轻地咬着他的脖子，让他喘不过气来。他已经能闻到越来越浓烈的雪松木香味，让他愉悦得头晕目眩。亚历克斯贴着他的脖子咧嘴一笑，向下亲吻，双手则向上抚摸。亨利将一只手伸进亚历克斯柔软的发间，亚历克斯的呻吟声在他的皮肤上回荡。

  “At least I’m your cock sucker, sweetheart. Don’t try to deny how much you love me when I’m between your thighs.” A tantalising image of Alex between his thighs arises, mouth pressing kisses up his cock and oh , Henry feels dirty . He feels so deliciously filthy that it makes him a little dizzy.
"至少我是你的吸吮者，亲爱的" "At least I'm your cock sucker, sweetheart.当我在你大腿间时，别试图否认你有多爱我。"一个诱人的画面出现了，亚历克斯在他的大腿间，用嘴亲吻着他的阴茎，哦，亨利觉得自己很下流。他觉得自己是如此的肮脏可口，以至于有点头晕目眩。

   “Fuck you, Alex.”
"去你妈的，亚历克斯"

   “I think you meant that the other way around.” And before Henry can think of another smart retort and come to his defence, searing hot lips press roughly onto his, Alex’s cedarwood and cardamom surrounding him and almost completely overtaking his scent - marking him. Ruining him for any other alpha.
"我觉得你是反过来说的"还没等亨利想出另一个聪明的反驳词来为自己辩护，灼热的嘴唇就粗暴地贴上了他的嘴唇，亚历克斯的雪松木和豆蔻香包围了他，几乎完全取代了他的气味--给他做了记号。让他无法再与其他首领接触。

   A tongue flicks into Henry’s mouth, just as it has before, and he realises how intimately Alex knows his body now, inside and out. He whines as Alex pushes his fingers into the divot in his hips, and he urges them upwards, trying to get more, always hungry for more. Henry deepens the kiss, and it’s hot and messy, and yet incredibly intimate.
一条舌头伸进了亨利的嘴里，就像以前一样，他意识到亚历克斯现在对他的身体是多么了解，从里到外。当亚历克斯把手指伸进他臀部的凹陷处时，他发出了低吟，并将手指向上推，试图得到更多，他总是渴望得到更多。亨利加深了这个吻，它火热而凌乱，却又无比亲密。

   It feels different. And Henry doesn’t know how to feel about that. 
感觉不一样了亨利不知道该作何感想。

   But he can leave that uncertainty for later, he decides, his doubts vanishing completely when Alex guides him towards their bed. Steady and certain hands deftly remove his shirt and before Henry can even touch Alex, a heat envelopes his nipples. He moans loudly and Alex chuckles. 
但他决定把这种不确定性留到以后再说，当亚历克斯带他走向他们的床时，他的疑虑完全消失了。亨利还没碰到亚历克斯，一股热流就包围了他的乳头。他大声呻吟着，亚历克斯笑了起来。

   “Why don’t you do that again for me, baby?” A wicked tongue flicks roughly over again and again, making Henry moan out repeatedly, and Alex just grins like he can’t get enough of it.
"你为什么不再为我做一次呢，宝贝？"邪恶的舌头一次又一次粗暴地舔过去，让亨利反复呻吟，亚历克斯只是咧嘴笑，好像怎么也笑不够。

   This time, Alex encourages Henry to lay down on their bed, the soft blankets cushioning his body as Alex’s own covers him, his weight so hot and delicious, yet so comforting, enveloping him like the cosiest fire. There’s less talking, more kissing - they make out slowly as Alex fingers Henry open, slick dripping down his thighs, but neither of them mind the mess as it brings them closer together.
这一次，亚历克斯鼓励亨利躺在他们的床上，柔软的毯子垫在他的身上，亚历克斯的身体盖在他身上，他的重量如此灼热、美味，却又如此舒适，像最温暖的火一样包围着他。他们少了交谈，多了亲吻--当亚历克斯用手指拨开亨利的身体时，他们慢慢地亲热起来，滑液顺着他的大腿往下滴，但他们都不介意这种混乱，因为这让他们更加亲密。

   Henry needs it; he needs more of Alex as the lord guides himself into Henry, thrusting slowly and opening him up. When he’s hilted all the way he stops, simply gazing down at Henry for a second, something more flickering in his eyes.
亨利需要它；他需要更多的亚历克斯，因为主人引导自己进入亨利，慢慢地插入，让他敞开心扉。当他完全进入时，他停了下来，只是低头凝视着亨利，眼中闪烁着更多的东西。

   “So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, cupping Henry’s face, and his heart damn near breaks. He feels closer , not just for the fact that Alex is literally inside him - but the way his fingers linger on Henry’s face, thumbing and tracing his lips is so moreish , sating his hunger at the same time as making him even more ravenous for something he can’t have; has never had.
"太他妈美了，"他喃喃地说，捧着亨利的脸，他的心几乎要碎了。他感觉更近了，不仅仅是因为亚历克斯真的在他的身体里--而且他的手指在亨利的脸上停留、拇指在他的嘴唇上划过的方式是如此美妙，在满足他的饥渴的同时，也让他对他无法拥有、从未拥有过的东西更加渴望。

   And when Alex finally fucks him into the bed, pushing his thumb into Henry’s mouth, he’s gentle. So fucking gentle .
当亚历克斯终于把他干到床上，把拇指伸进亨利的嘴里时，他很温柔。太他妈温柔了

   It’s toe curling, the way Alex leans back down to press tender kisses to Henry’s forehead, his mouth, his shoulder and throat. Insanity in a way he has never known before, how his heart twists in his chest in tandem with the pleasure as his lord thrusts slow but hard into him, and eventually they come together, Henry crying out and gripping onto Alex’s curls tightly in an attempt to tether himself to this world.
亚历克斯俯下身，温柔地亲吻亨利的额头、嘴、肩膀和喉咙，让他的脚趾都在颤抖。当主人缓慢而有力地插入他的身体时，他的心随着快感在胸腔中扭动，最终两人紧紧相拥，亨利哭喊着紧紧抓住亚历克斯的卷发，试图将自己拴在这个世界上。

   Around ten minutes later, after they’d cleaned up and wiped themselves off with a wet towel, they lie in bed together, Henry’s cheek pressed to Alex’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.
大约十分钟后，他们洗漱完毕，用湿毛巾擦干身体后，一起躺在床上，亨利的脸颊贴在亚历克斯的胸膛上，听着他的心跳。

   “How was the speech with Nora? Full of old toffs who don’t give a rat’s arse about the wellbeing of your country?” Henry asks drily, eyes closed.
"和诺拉的演讲怎么样？都是些老家伙，根本不关心你们国家的安危？亨利闭着眼睛沉声问道。

   Alex chuckles. “You’re not far off, to be honest.” He pauses for a moment, going quiet, and when Henry moves his head to glance up at him, he’s got a faraway look on his face, his eyebrow furrowed. Frowning.
亚历克斯笑着说"老实说，你离我不远了。"他停顿了一会儿，沉默不语，当亨利抬起头看他时，他脸上的表情很遥远，眉头紧皱。皱着眉头。

   “Alex? What’s up?” Henry asks, worried.
"亚历克斯？怎么了？"亨利担心地问。

   “Huh? Oh.” Alex looks down at Henry, searching his face, and Henry can see him weighing up whether to tell him. Henry gives him a stern look, the one his mother used to give him when he was a child running rampant in her backyard, trampling her begonias.
"啊？亚历克斯低头看着亨利，搜寻着他的表情，亨利可以看到他在权衡是否要告诉他。亨利给了他一个严厉的眼神，就像他小时候在后院横冲直撞、践踏海棠花时，他母亲经常给他的眼神。

   “Alex. You can tell me.” Alex doesn’t look convinced, as if he’s about to deny anything happened at all, when Henry shushes him. “Really, Alex. You can tell me anything, I promise.”
"亚历克斯你可以告诉我亚历克斯看起来并不相信，似乎他要否认发生过任何事，但亨利嘘了一声。"真的 艾丽克丝你可以告诉我任何事，我保证。"

   He must sense some sort of sincerity in Henry’s words, or it might be the look he gave him, but he sighs and relents. “I, uh… Well, you know that guy that ran at us on the red carpet?” Henry nods. “He did it again. Today. Almost got to me.” Alex chuckles, but it’s less than a happy sound, as if he’s trying to play it off.
他一定从亨利的话中感受到了某种诚意，也可能是因为亨利看他的眼神，但他还是叹了口气，松了口气。"我，呃......嗯，你知道在红地毯上冲我们跑过来的那个人吗？"亨利点点头。"他又冲过来了。今天。差点撞到我。"艾利克斯笑了，但笑声并不那么开心，似乎他想掩饰一下。

   And Henry’s heart drops. “Shit, Alex, are you okay? Why didn’t you say anything before?” he says, lifting himself onto his elbows.
亨利的心一下子放了下来。"妈的，亚历克斯，你还好吗？你之前怎么不说话？"他说着，用手肘撑起身体。

   Alex gives him the same weak smile June had given him earlier that day. “You know, it just wasn’t that big of a deal,” he says. “He didn’t do anything anyway. Fucker got taken out by security.” 
艾利克斯对他露出了和那天早些时候琼一样虚弱的笑容。"你知道，这没什么大不了的，"他说。"反正他也没做什么。那混蛋被保安带出去了。"

   But Henry doesn’t buy it, especially the way he can see Alex’s hands shaking. He gives the lord another stern look. “I just said you could tell me anything. Now I can see that you’re not bloody okay, but if you’re going to be a shit about it, then I’ll just have to settle for giving you a hug or something.” Henry huffs and wraps his arms around Alex, glad that he can’t see how watery Henry’s eyes are getting.
但亨利并不买账，尤其是他看到亚历克斯的手在颤抖。他又给了领主一个严厉的眼神。"我刚说过，你可以告诉我任何事。现在我看得出你并不好，但如果你要在这件事上耍赖，那我就只能满足于给你一个拥抱什么的了。"亨利哼了一声，用胳膊搂住亚历克斯，很高兴他看不到亨利的眼睛有多水汪汪。

   “Thank you,” Alex whispers, and not long later he’s breathing deeply with Henry wrapped around him, snoring lightly.
"谢谢你，"亚历克斯低声说道，不一会儿，他就搂着亨利深呼吸，发出轻微的鼾声。

   And Henry realises how fucking terrified he is of losing Alex. How it makes his heart pound in the worst sort of way; how he wants to hyperventilate at the thought.
亨利意识到，失去艾丽克丝让他有多害怕。这让他的心怦怦直跳，一想到这里，他就想呼吸急促。

   He thinks: Fuck . He wasn’t even there this time. What if something had happened? What if the next time he’d seen Alex, he was in a hospital bed? And call Henry mad, but he wants to kill someone at the thought. That if it had all gone pear shaped, Alex wouldn’t ever know that Henry didn’t really hate him. That he probably never had.
他想妈的这次他根本不在现场如果发生了什么事呢？如果下次他再见到亚历克斯时 他已经躺在病床上了呢？你可以说亨利疯了，但一想到这个，他就想杀人。如果一切都搞砸了 艾丽克丝永远都不会知道 亨利其实并不恨他他可能从未恨过他

   The thought stays with Henry as he pulls back slightly, unable to sleep, content to study the lord’s face instead. His sharp jaw, honey-brown skin, angular nose and his thick eyelashes that should’ve belonged to an omega or something. The way his chest rises and falls with each breath, and the beautiful heart he keeps locked away like it’s a secret to be ashamed of. His thick, luscious curls, that Henry would never get to run his fingers through again if that man had done more than just run at them.
这个想法让亨利久久不能释怀，他微微后退，无法入睡，只能静静地看着领主的脸。他尖尖的下巴、蜜糖棕色的皮肤、棱角分明的鼻子和浓密的睫毛，这些本该属于欧米茄之类的动物。他每次呼吸时胸膛起伏的样子，还有他那颗美丽的心，就像一个羞于启齿的秘密。他那浓密的卷发，如果那个男人不只是用手指捋的话，亨利就再也没有机会用手指捋了。

 It reminds him of just a few minutes ago, when Alex had been deep inside him, and yet pleasure wasn’t the only thing he’d felt (though he’d certainly felt it). How something had warmed inside him at Alex’s compliment, when he’d traced Henry’s face, how he’d been so fucking gentle .
这让他想起就在几分钟前，亚历克斯还深深地插在他的身体里，但快感并不是他唯一的感觉（虽然他确实感觉到了）。当亚历克斯赞美亨利时，当他抚摸亨利的脸庞时，当他如此温柔地抚摸亨利时，他的内心是多么地温暖......。

 And this was it; this was the reality: they hadn’t just fucked. They’d made love. And Henry had never really known the difference; he hadn’t even thought they were different. And yet, everything screamed the truth at him, the truth he’d been realising for well over a month now.
就是这样，这就是现实：他们不只是做爱。他们做爱了亨利从来都不知道这两者有什么区别，他甚至不认为他们有什么区别。然而，一切都向他昭示着真相，这是他一个多月前就已经意识到的真相。

 The writing was on the wall. He thought of the way Alex had buried his face in Henry’s throat, teething at the place he could so easily make Henry his with.
墙上写着呢。他想到了亚历克斯把脸埋在亨利喉咙里的样子，他在亨利的喉咙里吮吸着，他可以轻易地把亨利变成自己的孩子。

   As if Henry’s heart didn’t already belong to him.
好像亨利的心还不属于他似的。

   Oh, fuck . Bloody fucking SHIT . Henry was in love with him, wasn’t he? And the only thing he could think of was: why ? Bloody fucking why?
我操真他妈该死亨利爱上他了，不是吗？他唯一能想到的就是： 为什么？他妈的为什么？