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Chapter Text  正文

Wooyoung spent the rest of the week counting down the days until their next session with Seonghwa, though not necessarily for the right reasons. He should have been looking forward to learning more about Seonghwa, but in truth he really just wanted to see San again. Their last session had been a lot more fun than he was expecting, because it turned out San was just as willing to risk his dignity for the sake of this operation as Wooyoung was. 
禹英整个星期都在倒数着与星和下次会面的日子，尽管动机未必纯粹。他本该期待更多了解星和，但事实上他只是想再次见到山。上次会面比他预想的要有趣得多，因为事实证明，山和他一样愿意为这次行动赌上尊严。

Most of the time, the people in his life encouraged him not to make reckless decisions, but Wooyoung had the feeling that San wasn’t one of those people. He was friendly, and sweet, but he had also accepted Wooyoung’s antics without batting an eye, which could only mean he was likely just as bad. And Wooyoung liked that about him. 
生活中大多数人都会劝阻他别做鲁莽决定，但禹英感觉山不是这类人。他友善又温柔，却也面不改色地接受了禹英的胡闹——这只能说明他们半斤八两。而禹英喜欢的正是这点。

When Wednesday finally rolled around, Wooyoung stood outside of his apartment complex ten minutes before four o’clock, as soon as he received the text from San that he was on his way. He bounced on the balls of his feet, checking his phone every few seconds to see if he had received any new messages, though San was driving and therefore would not be on his phone. Still, Wooyoung couldn’t help but check - he had made a nasty habit of doing so excessively over the past week. 
当周三终于到来时，收到 San 发来"已在路上"的短信后，Wooyoung 四点差十分就站在了公寓楼下。他踮着脚尖轻轻蹦跳，每隔几秒就要查看手机是否有新消息——尽管他知道正在开车的 San 不可能回复。但 Wooyoung 就是控制不住这个坏习惯，过去一周他早已养成这种过度查看手机的毛病。

He understood that this would likely become a problem, because San wasn’t really his boyfriend at all, but he excused it as role immersion for now. Wooyoung was simply dedicated to his craft, that was all. 
他心知肚明这迟早会出问题，毕竟 San 根本不是他真正的男友。不过眼下他姑且把这归咎于角色代入——Wooyoung 只是对表演事业全情投入罢了，仅此而已。

When the sleek black car that he recognized from the week before pulled up to the curb, his heart skipped a beat, and his feet glided over the pavement like it was made of clouds. San opened the driver’s side door, and all Wooyoung could see was his head until he walked around to the other side, the sunlight creating shadows along his dimples. “Your chariot is here, darling,” San said with a blinding grin, and Wooyoung returned it as San opened the passenger door for him. 
当那辆熟悉的黑色轿车停靠路边时，他的心跳漏了半拍，脚步轻快得像是踩在云朵上。San 推开车门的瞬间，阳光在他酒窝投下细碎阴影，直到他绕到副驾一侧，Wooyoung 才看清他完整的笑容。"您的专属座驾到了，亲爱的。"San 露出晃眼的笑容说道，为他拉开车门时，Wooyoung 回以同样灿烂的微笑。

“Already getting into character, I see,” Wooyoung quipped as he slipped into the passenger seat, and San looked down at him for a moment, resting his arm on the top of the open door. 
"这么快就进入角色了嘛，" 禹英打趣着钻进副驾驶，而 San 低头看了他片刻，手臂搭在敞开的车门顶上。

“Well, you don’t exactly make it difficult,” he mused, and he looked so cute when he smiled that Wooyoung had to avert his gaze to get a grip on himself. Except, he made the mistake of glancing at San’s arms, and the sleeves of his tshirt were straining around his biceps. How the hell did he just walk around looking like that? 
"毕竟你也没给我增加难度啊，"他若有所思地说，那笑容可爱得让禹英不得不移开视线稳住心神。可偏偏他瞥见了 San 的手臂，T 恤袖口在肱二头肌处绷得紧紧的。这家伙怎么能顶着这副模样到处晃悠？

San shut the door once Wooyoung was safely inside, and he walked around to the driver’s side again, sliding into his own seat. Instead of reaching for the gear shift, he braced a hand on the side of Wooyoung’s seat as he turned around, reaching for something in the back. “I brought you something, because I want you to always remember me as the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had,” he explained, and that made Wooyoung laugh. 
等禹英坐稳后，San 关上车门，绕回驾驶座重新落座。他没有去碰换挡杆，而是转身时单手撑在禹英座椅侧面，探身去后座拿东西。"给你带了礼物，因为我要你永远记得我是你最棒的假男友，"这解释逗得禹英笑出了声。

“I’m pretty sure you’re the only fake boyfriend I’ll ever have, so the competition is already in your favor.” 
我很确定你是我这辈子唯一的假男友，所以这场比赛你稳赢。

“That may be so,” San conceded, “but I’ve never known anyone else bold enough to post a flyer like that in a public place. So for all I know, you may decide to do it again some day, and I want to retain my position as first place.” Before Wooyoung could respond to that, he straightened again, holding something new in his hands as he settled back against his seat. 
“也许吧，”San 让步道，“但我从没见过有谁胆敢在公共场所贴那样的传单。所以据我所知，说不定你哪天又会这么干，我想保住自己第一名的位置。”还没等 Wooyoung 回应，他又直起身子，手里捧着新东西靠回座位。

A bouquet of flowers. And somehow, he had known that Wooyoung had rather unusual taste, because he hadn’t just gone to a grocery store and purchased the first bunch of three-day-old flowers he laid eyes on like every other man Wooyoung had ever dated. These were wildflowers, none of them quite the same, all of them colorful and full of life. “How did you know I love flowers like these?” 
一束野花。不知怎的，他竟知道 Wooyoung 的品味相当独特——这不像 Wooyoung 约会过的其他男人那样，随便在杂货店抓起最先看到的那束蔫了三天的花。这些野花形态各异，色彩斑斓，充满生机。“你怎么知道我喜欢这种花？”

San shrugged, though he appeared quite pleased with himself, his cheeks tinted pink at the praise. “Oh, just a guess. You’re kind of eccentric, from what I’ve seen - in a good way. Regular old roses didn’t seem right.” 
三耸了耸肩，虽然被夸得耳尖泛红，嘴角却压不住得意。"随便猜的。你这人挺特别的——好的那种特别。普通玫瑰配不上你。"

He was certainly right about that, and Wooyoung leaned his face into the flowers to smell them, a smile curving his lips. “You picked these yourself, didn’t you?” 
他确实说对了，宇英将脸埋进花丛中轻嗅，嘴角勾起一抹笑。"这些是你亲手摘的吧？"

That only served to deepen San’s blush, and he turned back towards the windshield, resting his palm on the gearshift. “You weren’t supposed to figure that part out, but yeah. I did.” He offered no further explanation, shifting the car into drive and pulling back onto the road, one hand resting on the wheel and the other reaching for the radio. He pressed the button to turn it on, and the sound of static filled the car, which made them both laugh. 
这句话让 San 的脸更红了，他转回身面向挡风玻璃，手掌搭在换挡杆上。"你本不该发现这点的...不过没错，是我干的。"他没再多作解释，挂上档驶回公路，一只手搭着方向盘，另一只手伸向收音机。按下开关的瞬间，车厢里爆发出沙沙的电流杂音，惹得两人同时笑出了声。

“Do you seriously still listen to the radio when you’re in the car?” Wooyoung asked, making a face even though San was too focused on the road to see it. 
"你开车的时候居然还听广播？"宇英做了个鬼脸，可惜专心开车的灿根本看不见。

Positioning his fingers around the station dial, San began to surf through the different stations, brief snatches of song cutting through the static here and there. “Let me guess. That puts me on the same level as Facebook users, for you. Surprised that this wasn’t in your fine print, actually.” 
三的手指在电台旋钮上轻轻拨动，断断续续的歌声夹杂着电流杂音在车厢里跳跃。"让我猜猜，在你眼里我大概和脸书用户一个档次？"他喉结微动，低笑时胸腔传来细微震颤，"居然没把这条写进用户协议，失策啊。"

“Well, even I can admit that I may have overlooked some things, now that I think about it.” That made San laugh, and Wooyoung’s chest swelled with pride. “My parents don’t even use the radio anymore, San. Why would you use it when you can just connect your phone and play something you actually want to hear?” 
"好吧，我承认自己可能确实疏忽了些细节。"这句话逗得 San 笑出了声，Wooyoung 的胸膛顿时涌起一阵得意。"现在连我爸妈都不听收音机了，San。能直接用手机连蓝牙放想听的歌，谁还用电台啊？"

“Where is the variety in your life, Wooyoung?” San retorted, still searching through the stations. “I like finding songs that I haven’t heard in a while, it’s a fun - oh, here we go!” He interrupted himself as he settled on a song at last, and Wooyoung’s fighting words died on his tongue, because he happened to love the song that played through the car. 
“你的生活也太单调了吧，宇荣？”San 一边反驳，一边继续调着电台。“我就喜欢找些好久没听的歌，多有意思——啊，就这首！”他突然打断自己，终于选定了一首歌。宇荣刚要回嘴的话顿时卡在喉咙里——因为此刻在车里响起的，恰好是他最爱的曲子。

He began to sing along, because he knew he had a nice voice and he tended to pretend like he was performing at a concert whenever he hitched a ride in Hongjoong or Yeosang’s car. They never enjoyed it, but they never stopped offering him rides either, so he figured his singing couldn’t be too awful to listen to. 
他开始跟着哼唱起来，因为他知道自己嗓音不错，每次搭洪准或杨尚的顺风车时，总爱装模作样地搞个人演唱会。虽然那两人从没表现出享受的样子，却也从未拒绝载他——看来自己的歌声还不至于太难听。

San glanced over at him then, only taking his eyes off the road for a second, his brows raised. “Nothing embarrasses you, does it?” he said over the music, and Wooyoung just shrugged, bopping his head along to the music as he sang. 
San 侧目瞥了他一眼，视线只从路面移开了一秒，眉头微挑。"你真是不知道害臊啊？"音乐声中他这样说道，而 Wooyoung 只是耸耸肩，随着音乐节奏晃着脑袋继续唱。

The last thing he expected was for San to join in, because Hongjoong and Yeosang never did that, but sure enough his voice wasn’t the only one filling the car a moment later. He was the one to look over at San this time, caught by surprise. As if he could feel Wooyoung’s gaze, San glanced at him again, his eyes shining as they sang along together. And it was a silly thing, but Wooyoung was sad to see the entrance to the therapy parking lot up ahead. 
他完全没料到 San 会跟着唱起来，毕竟 Hongjoong 和 Yeosang 从不会这样——但转眼间车厢里就回荡起两个人的歌声。这次换他惊讶地望向 San，而对方仿佛感知到视线般再次抬眼，合唱时眼底闪着细碎的光。明明是个幼稚的瞬间，可当前方出现心理咨询中心停车场的标识时，Wooyoung 心脏突然重重沉了一下。

San pulled in and parked in the same spot as last time, towards the back in order to maintain their cover. He turned off the radio and shifted the car into park, and Wooyoung set down his flowers gingerly. “I hope they’ll be okay while we’re inside,” he said, biting his lower lip. 
San 将车缓缓驶入，停在了和上次相同的位置——靠后的角落，以保持隐蔽。他关掉收音机，挂上停车档，Wooyoung 则小心翼翼地把花束放下。"希望我们进去的时候它们不会有事，"他轻咬着下唇说道。

“They’re flowers, Wooyoung, not a human child. Nothing is going to happen to them.” Wooyoung stuck out his elbow to nudge San’s ribs, and he grinned at the yelp he received in return. 
“只是些花而已，宇荣，又不是人类小孩。它们能出什么事。”宇荣用手肘顶了顶山的肋骨，听到对方吃痛的叫声时咧嘴笑了起来。

“Well, duh. I just mean with the sun coming through - you know what, never mind. Now, is there anything we need to discuss before we go inside? Anything that might trip us up once Seonghwa starts asking us questions?” 
“废话，我是说阳光照进来的时候——算了，当我没说。现在进去之前还有什么要商量的吗？等下成华问起来会露馅的那种？”

San quirked a brow, his hand braced on the door handle, though he didn’t open it yet. “Why are you asking me? This is your friendship on the line, you know. Screw up, and Hongjoong will probably hate you.” 
San 挑起眉毛，手搭在门把上却迟迟未推开。"干嘛问我？这可是你的友情面临考验。搞砸了的话，洪准大概会恨你。"

“Oh, shut up. I’m not worried about me screwing up. I’m more concerned about you, or are we forgetting about when Seonghwa straight up asked you last time why you seemed so surprised when I said our anniversary was in January?” 
闭嘴吧。我才不担心自己搞砸，更操心的是你——难道忘了上次星和直接问你，为什么听说我们纪念日在一月时那么惊讶？

That made San falter, and Wooyoung mentally pumped his fist in victory. There was nothing he loved more than outwitting his friends. Not that San was a friend - he was… well, Wooyoung didn’t really know what he was anymore. A fake boyfriend, obviously, but when that dynamic was stripped away, he wasn’t sure what was left behind. “I was still warming up, back then. Now I know what to expect from you, and I’m going to do a better job than you are - just watch. You’ll be the one getting tripped up this time,” San replied.
这话让 San 语塞，而 Wooyoung 在心底得意地挥拳。他最爱智胜朋友的时刻——虽然 San 算不上朋友，准确说...Wooyoung 自己也搞不清他们现在的关系。假男友是明面上的身份，可剥开这层外壳后，他实在说不清还剩下什么。"那时候我还在适应期，"San 反驳道，"现在我知道该怎么应对了，绝对会表现得比你更好——等着瞧吧，这次出糗的肯定是你。"

Opening his door, Wooyoung fixed San with an unimpressed look, a challenge in his eyes. “Oh, you’re so on.”
推开门，旼炡眯起眼盯着山，眼神里带着挑衅的意味。"呵，你死定了。"

~

“So, do you remember how I told you I like to begin each session?” Seonghwa asked, and both Wooyoung and San nodded. They were seated in the same chairs as last time, staring at Seonghwa across the desk. He looked elegant as ever, with his hair carefully arranged out of his face and his skin free of any imperfections. Really, he was beautiful, and Wooyoung couldn’t fault Hongjoong on his taste in men. Wooyoung tended to prefer the more muscular type, but he could still appreciate a gorgeous man when he saw one. 
"还记得我说过每次咨询开始时喜欢怎么做吗？"成华问道，佑荣和山同时点头。他们坐在和上次相同的椅子上，隔着办公桌凝视成华。他依旧优雅非凡，发丝一丝不苟地别在耳后，肌肤完美无瑕。说真的，他美得惊人，佑荣不得不承认洪钟挑选男人的眼光。虽然自己更偏爱肌肉型，但眼前这样的绝色美人同样令人心动。

Seonghwa’s lips curved into a gentle smile. “Perfect. How are you feeling towards your partner today? Keep in mind that I mean today only - not yesterday, or the past week. We will get to that later. Right now, I just want to hear about today from each of you.” His voice was so soothing, and Wooyoung almost forgot to change his expression to one of annoyance. Almost - he wouldn’t let San win that easily. 
成华唇角扬起温柔的弧度："很好。今天你们对伴侣的感受如何？请注意——仅限今天，不涉及昨天或过去一周。那些我们稍后再谈。现在，我只想分别听听你们今天的感受。"他的声音如此抚慰人心，佑荣差点忘记要摆出恼火的表情。几乎就要破功——但他可不会让山赢得这么轻松。

He raised his hand, and both Seonghwa and San looked his way at the movement. “Oh, Wooyoung, stop it,” San said, a hard edge to his tone. “You’re just so eager to twist everything into your version of events, aren’t you - all you want is to make me look bad-” 
他抬起手，这个动作让成华和 San 同时转头看过来。"呀，Wooyoung，够了，"San 的声线陡然冷硬，"你非要把每件事都扭曲成自己想要的样子是吧——就为了让我难堪——"

The sound of Seonghwa clearing his throat interrupted his tirade, the therapist looking between the two of them. “Now, it is important that you both listen to each other, alright?” He reminded, and Wooyoung did feel a vague sense of shame, even though he hadn’t been the one to speak in the first place. “Wooyoung, you may go first, but please be honest. I want to hear the true extent of your feelings, and that is all. The best way for me to help you both is if you can address one another without hostility.” 
成华轻咳一声打断了他的长篇大论，心理医生的目光在两人之间游移。"现在重要的是你们要互相倾听，明白吗？"他提醒道。虽然最先开口的并不是自己，但宇晟确实感到一丝隐约的羞耻。"宇晟，你可以先说，但请诚实。我只想了解你真实的情感程度。要帮助你们，最好的方式就是不带敌意地交流。"

Wooyoung made a show of inhaling a deep breath, pretending like that would be an incredibly difficult task. “I’ll try,” he muttered, and he considered the question at hand before he gave his answer. “To be honest, I’m not happy with San today. I really wanted to be, but… well, let me give you some background, first. I’m allergic to roses. I always have been, and San has known this for the entire time we’ve been together. Very allergic, by the way.” 
宇荣夸张地深吸一口气，仿佛接下来说的话会要了他的命。"我试试看，"他含糊嘟囔着，认真思考了片刻才开口："说实话，我今天对 San 很不爽。虽然我真的很想保持好心情...先给你点前情提要吧，我对玫瑰过敏。一直都是，而且从我们在一起那天起 San 就知道这事。顺便说，是严重过敏那种。"

He paused for a moment, pressing his fingers to his lips, as if this were an emotional subject for him. “When I had my first allergic reaction as a kid, I was in the hospital for days - it was traumatizing. And today, when San picked me up for this session, he brought me roses. Old roses from the grocery store, with wilting petals and limp stems, and he shoved them into my hands as soon as I got in the car.” Wooyoung sniffled, shaking his head. “He’ll try to excuse it as a mistake, a nice gesture gone wrong, but to me it wasn’t. I think he was trying to kill me.” 
他顿了顿，手指抵在唇间，仿佛这是个令他心绪难平的话题。"小时候第一次过敏发作，我在医院躺了好几天——那简直是场噩梦。可今天 San 来接我参加治疗时，居然带了束玫瑰。超市里快蔫掉的廉价玫瑰，花瓣发软茎秆耷拉着，我刚上车就硬塞进我手里。"Wooyoung 吸了吸鼻子摇头，"他肯定会辩解说是无心之失，说什么好心办坏事。但对我而言不是。我觉得...他是存心想害死我。"

Wiping at his eyes, Wooyoung looked down at his lap, because he knew if he dared to make eye contact with San he would burst into uncontrolled laughter. Pretending that San had attempted murder might have been considered taking things too far by anyone else, but Wooyoung was quite proud of himself. He was eager to hear how San would dig himself out of that one, an unsteady silence lingering in the room for a moment until Seonghwa spoke again. 
禹英抬手抹了抹眼角，低头盯着自己的膝盖——他不敢与 San 对视，生怕四目相对的瞬间就会破功笑出声来。栽赃对方试图谋杀这种事在旁人看来或许过分，可他此刻正暗自得意。房间里弥漫着不安的寂静，禹英竖起耳朵等待 San 如何自圆其说，直到成华再次打破沉默时，他嘴角还噙着恶作剧得逞的弧度。

“Oh,” he murmured, and Wooyoung disguised a hitch of laughter as a sob, covering his mouth with his hand as his shoulders shook. “I am very sorry to hear that you felt that way, Wooyoung. It must have been difficult for you, to have your trust broken by someone you love.” 
“哦，”他低声呢喃，而 Wooyoung 将一声哽咽般的轻笑伪装成啜泣，用手掩住颤抖的嘴唇。“听说你有这样的感受我很难过，Wooyoung。被所爱之人背叛，一定很痛苦吧。”

Wooyoung nodded, only glancing up when he could trust himself not to blow his cover. Tears lined his eyes, only they weren’t born of sadness at all, but he still used them to his advantage. “Yeah,” he sniffled, forcing his lower lip to quiver. “I was hopeful that maybe our relationship could be on the mend after our first session, but he totally ruined it. And when he handed me the roses, he just laughed at me when I freaked out. He laughed - who does that?” 
禹英微微颔首，只在确定不会暴露真实情绪时才抬眸。他眼眶泛红，那泪水压根与悲伤无关，却仍被用作最佳武器。"嗯..."他抽噎着，刻意让下唇轻颤，"本来以为第一次治疗后我们的关系能修复...结果全被他毁了。递玫瑰时看到我惊慌失措的样子，他居然笑出声——哪有这种人？"

“Oh come on, that’s not-” San tried to interject, but Seonghwa held up a hand. 
“哎呀，别这样——”San 试图插话，但 Seonghwa 抬手制止了他。

“Are you finished, Wooyoung?” he asked in a gentle voice, and Wooyoung nodded, gripping the arm of his chair with one hand and wiping at his eyes with the other. “Okay, San, now it is your turn. Please, be respectful, okay? I do try to uphold a code of mutual respect in my office.” 
“你结束了吗，宇英？”他轻声问道，宇英点点头，一只手紧抓着椅子扶手，另一只手擦了擦眼睛。“好的，珊，现在轮到你了。请保持尊重，好吗？在我的办公室里，我一直努力维护相互尊重的准则。”

Glancing at San out of the corner of his eye, Wooyoung lowered his hand from his eyes to cover his mouth again, nearly erupting in laughter at the sight of him. His entire face was beet red, his arms straining against the sides of his chair, and he would have looked intimidating if it weren’t for the fact that Wooyoung could tell he was holding his breath in order to turn his face that color. His chest didn’t move with the rise and fall of air entering his lungs, and his mouth didn’t open, and his nostrils didn’t flare. All minor tells, ones that Seonghwa didn’t notice if the concern on his face was any indication, but Wooyoung spotted them right away. 
宇荣用余光瞥了一眼 San，原本遮着眼睛的手又移下来捂住嘴，差点被他这副模样逗得笑出声来。那家伙整张脸涨得通红，手臂死死抵着椅子扶手，要不是发现他正屏住呼吸硬憋出这副表情，看起来倒真挺唬人的——胸口没有呼吸的起伏，嘴唇紧闭，连鼻翼都不曾翕动。这些细微破绽被圣华全然忽略了，从他脸上担忧的神色就能看出来，但宇荣一眼就识破了。

San was perhaps even more dedicated than Wooyoung had thought, and he shook his head frantically as he finally inhaled, running a distressed hand through his hair. “I didn’t try to kill him!” he protested, an outburst of pretend anger that reverberated against the walls. Wooyoung flinched on purpose, looking at San in disbelief, opening his eyes wide to feign terror. “He’s lying, and I’m tired of it! Those were fake roses, Wooyoung, and we both know it. Because do you know what day it is, or can you not make out the date on your phone screen through your fake tears? Great acting, by the way - you should really pursue that.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, and he looked at Wooyoung in disgust. “It’s April Fool’s Day, idiot! It was a fucking joke! I wasn’t trying to kill you - you didn’t have an allergic reaction at all, despite the so-called ‘deathly allergy.’” He emphasized that last part with finger quotes.
San 的认真程度远超 Wooyoung 的想象。他猛地摇头深吸一口气，烦躁地抓乱头发吼道："我他妈没想杀他！"假装暴怒的声音在墙壁间炸开。Wooyoung 故意瑟缩着肩膀，瞪圆眼睛装出惊恐万状的表情。 "你撒谎成瘾是吧？"San 的冷笑声里浸满毒液，指尖狠狠戳向那束玫瑰，"假花！全是塑料的！我们心知肚明——"他突然拽过 Wooyoung 的手腕，手机屏幕在泪光中晃动，"还是说你的假眼泪糊得连日期都看不清了？演技真不错啊，建议直接出道。" 当看到锁屏上明晃晃的"4 月 1 日"时，San 突然扯出狰狞的笑："愚人节快乐啊蠢货！"他掐着 Wooyoung 后颈把人拽到面前，呼吸喷在对方颤抖的睫毛上，"你他妈根本对玫瑰不过敏，装什么濒死喘息呢？"最后几个字从牙缝里碾出来，带着讥诮的颤音。

Exercising more self control than ever before in order to keep himself from laughing, Wooyoung shook his head, and he sat up straighter in his chair as he leaned into the argumentative tone San had chosen to take. “Are you twelve?” he shot back, and San managed to look highly offended at the accusation, even though his eyes were glimmering with amusement for only Wooyoung to see. “April Fool’s Day is for fucking children! Sorry that I didn’t remember what day it is, but my mental age has surpassed that of a toddler - I know you’ve been struggling to reach that milestone.” 
为了憋住不笑出声，佑荣用尽了这辈子所有的自制力。他摇了摇头，在椅子上坐直身子，顺势接上 San 那挑衅的语气。"你三岁小孩吗？"他反唇相讥。San 立刻摆出受伤的表情，可那双眼睛里闪烁的狡黠光芒只有佑荣能看见。"愚人节是给小鬼过的！谁记得今天几号啊，毕竟我心理年龄早过了穿开裆裤的阶段——不像某人，连这个成长指标都够不着呢。"

“Funny that you say that when I’m the one who drove us here, because you don’t know how to drive!”
“真有意思，你还好意思说，明明是我开车带你来这儿的，因为你根本不会开车！”

“And I was gripping the handle on the roof for my fucking life the whole way!” Wooyoung yelled back, and hurt flitted over San’s expression for a brief moment. He really was a great actor, because it looked so real that Wooyoung nearly apologized before he remembered where he was. 
“我他妈一路上都死死抓着车顶扶手，命都快吓没了！”宇永吼了回去，那一瞬间，璨的表情闪过一丝受伤。这家伙演技真是绝了——那痛楚真实得让宇永差点脱口道歉，直到他猛然想起此刻的处境。

They both stared at each other, chests heaving, but Seonghwa interrupted the argument before they could take it any further. “Well, we will work on that code of respect, alright?” He waited until they both responded with grudging nods, jotting something down in his notebook as he continued. “San, if Wooyoung is sensitive about his allergy considering the events of his past, perhaps it would be best to not make jokes about it, hm?” 
两人四目相对，胸膛剧烈起伏，但成华在他们进一步争执前打断了这场对峙。"好了，我们会完善尊重准则的，明白吗？"他等到两人不情不愿地点头后，继续在笔记本上记录着什么。"伞，考虑到宇英过去的经历，如果他对过敏反应比较敏感，或许最好不要拿这个开玩笑，嗯？"

He didn’t receive a response, and he sighed, looking up at Wooyoung next. “And Wooyoung, I would appreciate it if you would give me the full story next time. He wasn’t trying to kill you, he was trying to play a joke on you. Perhaps an insensitive one, but still not a murder attempt.” Seonghwa really did have a knack for this, because he almost had Wooyoung feeling guilty over something that hadn’t even happened in the first place. 
他没有得到回应，叹了口气，转而看向旁边的 Wooyoung。"还有 Wooyoung，下次请把事情原委都告诉我。他不是要杀你，只是想开个玩笑。可能有点过分，但绝不是要谋杀你。"Seonghwa 确实很擅长这个，因为他几乎让 Wooyoung 为一件根本没发生过的事情感到内疚了。

“Sorry,” he mumbled, and San echoed the sentiment, neither of them looking at each other. 
“抱歉。”他低声嘟囔着，San 也跟着应和，两人谁都没看对方一眼。

“That is quite alright. I am here to help you, and I don’t ever expect the two of you to be perfect while you’re in my office. But what I do expect is that you come here with the intention to challenge your mindset, to see things from your partner’s point of view. Even if you don’t succeed every time, I just want you to try.” He smiled at the two of them, and Wooyoung smiled back, keeping his expression timid. 
"没关系。我来这儿就是为了帮你们，从没指望你们在我办公室里表现得完美无缺。"他目光在两人之间游移，喉结随着温和的语调轻轻滚动，"但我希望你们能带着挑战固有思维的心态来，试着站在对方的角度看问题。" 他忽然倾身向前，白大褂下摆擦过真皮沙发发出细微声响。伍勇条件反射般缩了缩肩膀，却看见对方眼角笑纹里盛着的暖意："就算每次都失败也没关系，我只要看到你们尝试的诚意。" 心理咨询师修长的手指无意识转着钢笔，金属笔帽在灯光下划出细碎光斑。伍勇抿着嘴回了个怯生生的笑，指甲在掌心掐出几道月牙印。

It didn’t take long before they descended into another argument, however, this time centered around their living situation once again. “What is the point of being with me, then, if you don’t want to live with me? You said, and I quote, ‘I would rather die than live in your musty ass apartment.’ So what is the point of you continuing to date me, if you feel that way?” San argued, sparing a momentary glance in Seonghwa’s direction. “That isn’t true, by the way. My apartment is not musty. It is very clean, actually.” 
没过多久，他们又陷入了新一轮争吵，这次依然围绕着同居问题展开。"既然你不想和我住一起，那和我在一起还有什么意义？你亲口说过——'我宁愿死也不要住进你那发霉的破公寓'。"San 说着，朝 Seonghwa 的方向瞥了一眼，"顺便说句，那根本不是事实。我的公寓才不发霉，实际上干净得很。"

Wooyoung snorted, and San slapped his arm. “Don’t hit me!” Wooyoung protested.
宇荣哼了一声，三儿抬手就朝他胳膊甩了一巴掌。"别打我！"宇荣嚷嚷着往后躲，布料摩擦间两人体温交错，喉结随着急促呼吸上下滚动。

“Oh stop, you literally shoved me into the wall last week-” 
“哎呀别装了，上周你可是直接把我按在墙上——”

“Well, you threw a cup at me!” 
“哼，你可是拿杯子砸我！”

“It was a paper cup, Wooyoung,” San clarified, his tone full of exasperation. “And I didn’t even hit you. I missed!” 
“那只是个纸杯，宇荣，”San 无奈地解释道，语气里满是烦躁。“而且我根本没砸到你，我失手了！”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes, refusing to entertain his fake boyfriend any longer, looking to Seonghwa instead. He rested his elbows on the desk, bracing his chin on his palms. “This would be a lot more peaceful if he wasn’t here, don’t you think?” San spluttered in protest, but Wooyoung ignored him. 
宇荣翻了个白眼，懒得再搭理他那假男友，转而看向成华。他手肘撑在桌上，掌心托着下巴，语气慵懒："要是没这家伙在，咱们能清净不少吧？" 虽然听到三儿在旁边气急败坏地嚷嚷，宇荣连眼皮都懒得抬一下。

“That isn’t a nice thing to say, Wooyoung,” Seonghwa scolded gently, curving a brow, but Wooyoung just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. 
"这话可不中听啊，宇荣。"星华微微挑眉轻声责备，但宇荣只是咧嘴一笑，耸了耸肩。

“Sorry. Anyway, I was wondering how you’re so good at this. Are you in a relationship of your own?” He kept his tone full of innocence, blinking a few times. 
“抱歉啦。不过话说回来，你怎么这么熟练啊？该不会自己也在谈恋爱吧？”他眨巴着眼睛，语气里满是天真无辜。

From beside him, San nearly leapt out of his chair, gaping at Wooyoung like he had never seen him before. “You are not hitting on our therapist right now!” Inhaling a deep breath through his nose, Wooyoung forced himself not to laugh, though the urge had begun to creep its way up his throat. 
一旁的 San 差点从椅子上蹦起来，瞪大眼睛盯着 Wooyoung，活像见了鬼似的。"你他妈该不会在撩我们的治疗师吧？！"Wooyoung 用鼻子深深吸了口气，强压住那股快要冲破喉咙的笑意。

He refused to pay San any mind, keeping his focus intent on Seonghwa, who stared back at him before shaking his head. An exasperated sigh slipped past his lips, and in that moment Wooyoung knew that he would be perfect for Hongjoong. Hongjoong had mastered that same expression of fond exasperation, directed towards Wooyoung most of the time as well. “No, I am not,” he answered, and amusement underlied his words. “But that is really none of your business.” 
他压根没理会 San，目光始终紧锁在 Seonghwa 身上。对方回望过来摇了摇头，唇间溢出一声无奈的叹息——这瞬间 Wooyoung 就确信他绝对配得上 Hongjoong。那种带着宠溺的烦躁表情，Hongjoong 也经常这样对他流露。"不，我不是。"Seonghwa 回答时字句里藏着笑意，"不过这跟你没关系吧？"

Wooyoung shrugged, not terribly put off by that. “I like to make things my business - I’m just a curious person. I’m really not hitting on you, I promise. So, just wondering… do you like someone, then?” 
宇荣无所谓地耸耸肩，眼神里带着猫抓老鼠的兴味。"我这人就是爱管闲事——天生的好奇宝宝。真不是撩你，我发誓。"他忽然凑近半步，衣料擦过对方手背，"所以...心里有人了？"

“Wooyoung!” That was San, and his protests went ignored once again, for Wooyoung was desperate to hear the answer to his question. 
"宇荣！" 是山在叫他，但抗议再次被无视——宇荣此刻只迫切想听到那个问题的答案。

For a long moment he feared that Seonghwa wouldn’t answer at all, but eventually the man just sighed again, shaking his head. “I do, actually. And that person isn’t you, so please… focus on mending your own relationship while you’re here in my office. We only have so much time every week, and I would like to spend it helping the two of you to understand one another. Back to the session now, please.” 
他屏息等待，生怕成华会彻底沉默。最终对方只是又叹了口气，摇头道："确实有。但那个人不是你，所以请...把精力放在修复你们的关系上。我们每周只有这点咨询时间，我更希望用来帮助你们互相理解。" 指节在实木办公桌上轻叩两下，"现在请回到正题。"

Nothing he said after those first two words registered in Wooyoung’s mind, and he leaned back into his seat again as he nodded along aimlessly, no longer listening. San began to blurt out all kinds of goading words, and Wooyoung had to withhold a triumphant grin. His plan was so going to work - he had just learned more from Seonghwa in their second session than Hongjoong had ever had the courage to find out on his own. 
那两个字之后，San 说的任何话都没能进入禹英的脑海。他重新靠回座位，心不在焉地点头附和，耳朵早已关闭了接收功能。San 开始喋喋不休地说着各种挑衅的话，禹英不得不强压住胜利的笑容——他的计划简直完美。仅仅第二次会面，他就从成华那里套出了比洪俊独自调查时更有价值的消息。

He really was the best undercover wingman ever.
他真是最棒的卧底僚机了。

~

They went for another session the following week, and they lingered in the car for a little while after they were finished, still in the parking lot. Wooyoung always dreaded the moment when their time together would end, and he wondered if San felt the same, for he made no move to shift the car into reverse and pull out of his parking space. Though the sessions were always fun, the debrief in the car afterwards was arguably even better, both of them eagerly recounting their improvised arguments and dissolving into giggles now that they were alone. 
隔周他们又约了一次。结束后，两人仍滞留在停车场里的车中迟迟未动。他总是害怕共处时光结束的瞬间——而此刻 San 也迟迟没有挂倒挡驶离车位，这让他不禁揣测对方是否怀着同样的心思。那些即兴发挥的争执桥段固然有趣，但事后在密闭车厢里复盘时的光景才更令人心痒。此刻没有旁人，他们热切地复述着彼此临场编造的台词，时不时就笑作一团。

“You really said that we went on a trip to Europe,” San said through his laughter, his voice hitching on every word, “and I abandoned you at a bus station in the middle of nowhere! I swear, you make me look so bad in front of him. I’m surprised he hasn’t started laughing at some of the things you say, because I get really fucking close sometimes.” 
"你居然跟他说我俩去欧洲旅行了，"San 笑得气息不稳，每个字都带着颤音，"还编造我把你扔在荒郊野外的公交站！我发誓，你在他面前把我形象毁得够彻底。他没当场笑出来真是奇迹——你说那些鬼话的时候，我他妈差点就憋不住了。" （根据要求： 1. 保留原文的戏谑语气和呼吸节奏感，用"颤音""憋不住"等词强化情绪 2. "fucking close"译为"他妈差点"既保留粗口又符合中文表达 3. 通过"荒郊野外""鬼话"等词增强都市对话的真实感 4. 用破折号替代原文连接词，更符合中文口语停顿习惯）

Wooyoung glanced towards the driver’s seat with his brows raised, leaning back comfortably. He had even reclined his seat this time, and San didn’t seem to mind at all. “You said that I purposely brought you up to the roof of my apartment building just to lock you up there since you’re afraid of heights, and you’re saying that I make you look bad?” They looked at each other, and a beat of silence passed before they burst into laughter all over again. Wooyoung had to grip his stomach when it began to cramp up, struggling for breath. 
宇荣挑眉瞥向驾驶座，整个人慵懒地陷在放倒的座椅里——这次连座椅角度都调低了，而 San 竟也由着他胡闹。"你说我故意带恐高的你上天台锁门，还说我让你丢脸？"四目相对的瞬间，空气凝固半秒，两人突然又笑作一团。宇荣笑得小腹抽痛，不得不弯腰按住肚子，呼吸都带着颤。

“Okay, I guess you have a point. We make each other look equally terrible, and I don’t think I should be as proud of that as I am,” San admitted, and Wooyoung couldn’t have agreed more. They were essentially dragging each other through the mud for fun, and neither of them could get enough. Which was why Wooyoung had spent all week considering a certain proposal, and he figured now was as good a time as any to present it to his fake boyfriend. 
“好吧，你说得对。我们确实把对方都搞得很狼狈，虽然我居然还挺得意这点的。”San 坦承道，而 Wooyoung 完全无法更赞同了。他们本质上就是在互相拖下水找乐子，而且两人都乐此不疲。正因如此，Wooyoung 整整一周都在考虑某个提议，他觉得现在正是向他的假男友提出来的最佳时机。

“So, I was thinking,” he began, drumming his fingers on his knee, “that we might want to take our fake relationship to the next level. We’ve done this couples therapy thing a few times now, and I would even dare to say that we’re quite good at it. But we’ve learned about as much as I could hope to learn about Seonghwa without giving our entire scheme away.” 
"所以我在想，"他手指轻轻敲打着膝盖，声音里带着几分玩味，"咱们这段假情侣关系是不是该升级了？" 指尖在西装裤上划出微妙的节奏，"都做了这么多次伴侣咨询，连我都得承认——我们配合得简直天衣无缝。" 喉结随着低笑滑动，他忽然倾身拉近距离，温热的呼吸掠过对方耳垂："但要想套出成华的全部底细..." 布料摩挲声里，修长的手指解开领带第一颗扣子，"不玩点真的...恐怕不行了吧？"

San nodded, his expression thoughtful as he leaned forward, resting his elbow on the center console. Just a few inches separated them now, and Wooyoung had to force himself not to blush. “What were you thinking, baby?” San asked, a mischievous grin curving his lips. 
San 点了点头，若有所思地向前倾身，手肘撑在中控台上。此刻两人之间仅剩几寸距离，Wooyoung 不得不强忍住脸红的冲动。"在想什么呢，宝贝？"San 嘴角勾起一抹顽劣的笑，嗓音里带着蛊惑的意味。他说话时喉结轻轻滚动，温热的呼吸似有若无扫过对方耳际。

That broke Wooyoung out of his train of thought immediately, and he shoved San back, making a face. “You need to stop with the pet names when we’re alone, San. There’s no need to keep up appearances when it’s just the two of us in your car.”
这句话猛地将宇荣从思绪中拽了出来，他一把推开 San，做了个鬼脸。"私下就别用那些肉麻称呼了 San。就咱俩在你车里的时候，没必要再装模作样。"

Appearing rather proud of himself, San just relaxed back into his seat again, his eyes never straying from Wooyoung. “Hey, listen. This is how I stay in character, alright? If I get used to calling you things like that, then they slip out on their own when we are around people, and that’s what makes this relationship look real. You should really know that, considering how this was your idea and all.” 
三一脸得意地靠回座位，目光始终黏在宇荣身上。"听着，这就是我保持人设的方式。要是我习惯这么叫你，在人前自然就会脱口而出——这样才能让这段关系显得真实。"他故意用鞋尖蹭了蹭宇荣的小腿，"你该最清楚这点才对，毕竟这馊主意可是你出的。"

Wooyoung gave San a flat look. “You’ve never once called me anything other than Wooyoung around Seonghwa, or anyone else for that matter. Doesn’t seem like a valid reason to me, if you only ever call me baby in private to begin with. Or darling, or my love, or sweetheart-“
宇荣面无表情地瞪着山。"在成华面前，你从来都只叫我宇荣。对其他人也一样。这理由站不住脚，毕竟你只在私下才喊我宝贝。"他故意拖长声调，"或者亲爱的、我的爱人、甜心——"

“Okay, okay,” San conceded, his cheeks pink. “You got me. So anyway, what was this proposition of yours? Taking our relationship to the next level, and all that?” He didn’t even try to further explain his use of those ridiculous nicknames, and Wooyoung hated himself for not prying any further, but he couldn’t help it. San’s voice sounded nice when he said those words of endearment, that was all. They weren’t real, after all - not when everything about their relationship was fake, so there was no reason for either of them to think otherwise. 
“行吧行吧，”San 红着脸妥协了，“你赢了。所以呢，你说的那个提议是什么来着？让我们的关系更进一步之类的？”他压根没打算解释那些肉麻称呼的事，而 Wooyoung 恨自己居然没继续追问——但他就是忍不住。San 用那种亲昵语气说话时声音该死的好听，仅此而已。反正都是假的，毕竟他们这段关系从头到尾都是演戏，谁都不该当真。

“Get your head out of the gutter,” Wooyoung scolded, and San scrambled to protest, though Wooyoung waved him away with a light laugh. “I’m just kidding. Anyway, I was thinking that we could plan a stakeout. Just you and me, going undercover to find out more about Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s relationship. As you will probably recall from the first time we met, I excel at going undercover. We’ll need all black outfits, sunglasses, beanies - the works. Assuming you’re up for the challenge, of course. I can do it alone, if you’re too scared.”
"把你脑子里那些黄色废料收一收，"宇荣轻笑着呵斥，山慌乱地想要辩解，却被他摆摆手打断。"开玩笑的。我在想我们可以策划一次秘密监视行动——就你和我，乔装打扮去调查星华和洪钟的关系。你应该记得我们初次见面时，我最擅长的就是伪装侦查。" 他歪着头露出狡黠的笑容，指尖无意识地卷着衣角："需要准备全套黑色行头、墨镜、毛线帽...当然，前提是你敢接这个挑战。"突然凑近的呼吸带着薄荷糖的气息，山能看清他睫毛在脸颊投下的阴影，"要是害怕的话...我单独行动也行。"

That made San laugh, and he reached across the center console to pat a hand against Wooyoung’s thigh, nearly sending him into cardiac arrest. “Oh, I was born ready for this. My entire life has been leading up to this moment, I think.” Wooyoung giggled at that, and San squeezed his leg, and he choked on air for an embarrassingly long amount of time. 
这句话让山笑出了声，他伸手越过中控台，拍了拍宇荣的大腿，差点让宇荣心跳骤停。"哈，我生来就准备好干这个了。我觉得我整个人生都在为这一刻铺垫呢。"宇荣咯咯笑起来，山又捏了捏他的腿，害他呛得咳嗽，尴尬地持续了好一阵子。

He tried to pass it off as a coughing fit, but that only made things worse, for San rested a warm hand against his back and rubbed over his spine to ‘help’. Though, in reality, he was the cause of the problem in the first place. “Okay, great!” Wooyoung said once he regained control of himself, his voice a little too cheery, but hopefully San wouldn’t notice that. “How does Tuesday night sound? Their class is at seven, I’m pretty sure, so-” 
他试图假装咳嗽蒙混过去，结果反而弄巧成拙——San 温热的手掌贴上了他的后背，还顺着脊椎骨"帮忙"揉搓。虽然始作俑者明明就是这家伙。"好了没事！"宇荣找回呼吸节奏时声音雀跃得过分，但愿 San 没察觉异样，"周二晚上怎么样？他们课表是七点开始，我记得......"

“So I’ll pick you up a half hour before, how’s that? That should give us enough time to get to the campus and infiltrate the lecture hall before the class starts, right?” Truth be told, Wooyoung knew next to nothing about sneaking into a lecture hall, but he pretended like he did anyway. 
“那我提前半小时来接你，怎么样？这样咱们有足够时间赶到学校，在上课前溜进大教室吧？”说实话，禹英压根不懂怎么混进大教室，但此刻他偏要装出老练的样子。

“That should be fine,” he decided, and his heart leapt at the prospect of seeing San before their next session. “Don’t forget, you have to wear the right clothes, and you have to keep this all a secret. If Hongjoong sees me there, he will definitely kill me.” 
“应该没问题吧。”他暗自决定，想到能在下次见面之前见到 San，心跳不由得加快。“别忘了，你得穿合适的衣服，而且这一切都得保密。要是让 Hongjoong 看见我在那儿，他绝对会宰了我。”

Resting a hand on the gear shift at last, San shook his head fondly. “This isn’t going to last forever, you do know that, right? What are you planning on doing when he does find out?” 
三的手终于搭上换挡杆，他无奈地摇头轻笑："这可不是长久之计，你心里有数吧？等他真发现那天，你打算怎么办？"

Though he would never have said it aloud, a pang of pain shot through Wooyoung’s chest at the reminder that this would all come to a close eventually. No more rides in San’s car, or singing along to his stupid radio stations, or having fake arguments in front of a real couples therapist. No more boyfriend, no matter how fake. And that did make Wooyoung a little sad, because he liked having someone like San around all the time. 
虽然从未说出口，但想到这一切终将结束，佑英胸口还是泛起一阵刺痛。再也不能坐在山哥的车里，跟着他那些傻里傻气的电台音乐哼唱，或是在真正的婚姻咨询师面前假装吵架。再也没有男朋友了，哪怕是假的。这确实让佑英有些难过，因为他真的很喜欢身边永远有个像山哥这样的人。

Well, not just someone like San. Because if it were anyone else, he wouldn’t care this much. Maybe he liked San more than he should have, and he hated that he was coming to this realization in the parking lot of a counseling center. He hated that he was coming to this realization at all, because wasn’t that the number one rule of a fake relationship? That it was decidedly fake? 
不只是像 San 这样的人。因为如果是别人，他根本不会这么在意。也许他对 San 的喜欢已经超出了应有的界限，而他最恨的是，自己竟然在心理咨询中心的停车场里意识到这一点。他恨自己居然会意识到这件事——因为假恋爱关系的第一条铁律，不就是它必须是假的吗？

He blinked a few times to clear his head, staring resolutely ahead so that he wouldn’t have to see those dimples. Those would not help his case in the slightest. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” he excused, though in truth, he was quite worried. 
他用力眨了几下眼，试图让自己清醒些，目光死死盯着前方——绝不能再看那对酒窝。那玩意儿只会让情况更糟。"啊，这个你不用担心，"他嘴上这么说着，心里却慌得要命。

~

When Wooyoung stepped outside to wait for San’s car to arrive on Tuesday night, he looked up at the sky and shivered. Though the spring air was rather warm that evening, dark storm clouds had begun to roll over the sky, blotting out the setting sun and casting everything in shadow - though that could have just been his sunglasses. He hoped that the rain would at least wait until their stakeout was over, but he wasn’t sure how realistic of a hope that was. 
周二晚上，宇英站在门外等 San 的车时，抬头望天打了个寒颤。虽说春夜暖意正浓，但乌云已开始吞噬落日，将万物笼罩在阴影里——也可能只是他的墨镜太黑了。他暗自祈祷这场雨至少能等到他们盯梢结束再下，虽然心里清楚这希望渺茫得可笑。

He headed straight for the curb as soon as he saw the car approach, and he opened the passenger side door for himself this time before San could get out to do it for him. They didn’t have any time to waste today, and he slid into the seat with his features set in determination. He pulled off his sunglasses to get a better look at San, and he nodded in approval. 
他一看到车驶近就径直走向路边，这次不等 San 下车为他开门，自己就拉开了副驾驶的门。今天可没时间浪费，他钻进座位时脸上写满决然。他摘下墨镜，仔细打量着 San，满意地点了点头。

Decked out in all black, their outfits were nearly identical. San wore a plain hoodie and sweatpants, and Wooyoung wasn’t used to seeing him in clothing this casual, but he looked good. A thick knit beanie covered his hair, and his own pair of sunglasses rested on the top of his head as he drove, so that they wouldn't obstruct his view of the road. “I approve,” Wooyoung said, and San grinned. 
两人一身全黑装扮，几乎像情侣装。山穿着素色连帽衫和运动裤，这样休闲的打扮让雨炫有些不习惯——但该死的合适。粗针织毛线帽压住他蓬松的头发，墨镜随意架在头顶，免得妨碍驾驶视线。"很帅嘛。"雨炫吹了声口哨，山闻言勾起嘴角。

“Well, thank the heavens for that. Shall we?” Wooyoung nodded, and San began to drive, fiddling with the radio as he always did. The two of them sang along to a few songs, and they made it to the campus much faster than expected. Most of the classes taught here were for undergraduate students, but there were a few that were offered at night for post graduates, and that was their intended destination for the night. 
“啊，谢天谢地。我们出发？”宇荣点点头，珊随即发动车子，像往常那样摆弄着收音机。两人跟着广播哼了几首歌，比预期更快抵达了校园。这里大部分课程都是面向本科生开设的，但也有少数夜间研究生课程——那正是他们今晚的目的地。

San parked in the visitor lot, and the two of them got out of the car, meeting on the sidewalk in front of it. “So, do you know where his class is?” San asked, his hands hidden in the pocket of his hoodie.” 
San 将车停在访客停车场，两人下车后在车前的人行道上碰头。"那你知道他的教室在哪儿吗？"San 问道，双手插在连帽衫口袋里。

“Yeah, I pulled some strings and figured out all of that stuff.” By ‘pulled some strings’, Wooyoung meant that he had stolen Hongjoong’s phone when he wasn’t paying attention and sent his schedule to his own number before deleting the text, but sharing such details wasn’t necessary. “His class is in the Psychology B building. And before you ask where that is, I looked up a campus map. It’s right near the administration building, which is near the center of campus, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find.” 
"没错，我托了点关系全查清楚了。"所谓托关系，不过是趁洪正焕不注意偷看他手机，把课表发到自己号码上又删了记录——这种细节没必要交代。"他的课在心理学 B 馆。别问在哪，我查过校园地图，就在行政楼旁边，校园中心位置很好找。"

They set off in what Wooyoung guessed to be the right direction based on the few times he had been here in the past, keeping their heads low and their sunglasses in place to hide their faces. “I feel like I’m doing something bad,” San whispered, both of them taking swift, quiet steps. 
两人压低帽檐，墨镜牢牢架在鼻梁上遮住大半张脸，沿着佑焕记忆中模糊的路线快步前行。"我们这样好像在做坏事，"山压低声音说，脚步声在空荡的巷弄里碎成急促的呼吸。

“As long as we don’t run into anyone important, we’ll be fine,” Wooyoung reassured. “Probably.” 
"只要别撞见什么大人物就没事，"宇英低声嘟囔着，指尖无意识地摩挲着酒杯边缘，"大概吧。"

“Oh, wow. That’s so comforting.” 
哇哦，这可真让人安心。

“You’re welcome. And you don’t need to whisper - that makes it seem like we’re actually doing something bad,” Wooyoung pointed out. “We’re just taking advantage of a public campus to do some research, that’s all. Some may say that we were scientists, looking back on this moment.” 
不客气。而且你没必要小声说话——这样反而显得我们真在干什么坏事似的，"宇桢指出，"我们只是利用公共校园做点研究而已。往大了说，回顾此刻时，人们或许会称我们为科学家呢。

That made San laugh, and he muffled the sound with his hand. “I bet you were a handful when you were a kid. You strike me as the kind of person who can talk their way out of anything.” 
三忍不住笑出声，又赶紧用手捂住嘴。"你小时候肯定是个小麻烦精吧？一看就是那种能把黑的说成白的伶牙俐齿。"

Looking over at him, Wooyoung grinned. “Oh, I’m still a handful now. You’ve hardly seen anything yet.” 
宇英侧过头，冲他咧嘴一笑："呵，我现在可难搞得很呢。你还没见识到真本事。"

San looked up at the sky as he walked, and Wooyoung watched him. He watched him as he smiled, his dimples emerging and his teeth shining as they appeared from behind his lips. San really was handsome, and someone like him never should have been so eager to follow along in Wooyoung’s antics. 
San 抬头望着天空走着，Wooyoung 注视着他。看着他笑起来时浮现的酒窝，以及从唇间露出的闪亮牙齿。San 确实很英俊，像他这样的人本不该如此热衷于跟着 Wooyoung 胡闹。

After all, Wooyoung was attractive and he knew it. He was a good looking person, and he was pretty flirtatious by nature, but no one ever wanted to stick around once they got to know the personality underneath. His pretty face was the least interesting thing about him, but it was the only thing that most people cared about. But San was different, and as Wooyoung watched him right then, he found himself wishing that they had met under different circumstances. Because no matter how their relationship progressed, it was fake, and when he looked at that smile he really wanted it to be real. 
说到底，禹英确实有吸引人的资本。他天生一副好皮相，骨子里又带着撩人的劲儿，可但凡了解他真实性格的人，最终都会选择抽身离去。那张漂亮脸蛋反而是他最无趣的部分，偏偏世人只在乎这个。但崔伞不同——此刻禹英凝视着他，喉结不自觉地滚动。要是能在别的场合相遇就好了。无论这段关系如何发展，终究是逢场作戏。可当那人眼尾弯起时，他竟荒唐地想要假戏真做。

How would it feel, if San called him baby and actually meant it? What would it be like to reach out and hold his hand just because he wanted to, not to keep up false appearances? Wooyoung knew these thoughts were dangerous, but he couldn’t get them out of his head lately. Especially not when San turned to look at him, his eyes sparkling under one of the lampposts that lined the footpaths of the campus. 
如果 San 真的叫他宝贝，那会是什么感觉？如果只是因为想牵就牵住他的手，而不是为了维持虚假的表象，又会怎样？Wooyoung 知道这些念头很危险，但最近他总是不由自主地想起。尤其是当 San 在校园小径的路灯下转头看他时，那双眼睛在灯光下闪闪发亮，让他根本无法停止这些幻想。

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll like the rest of you just as much,” he assured, and his tone was lighthearted, completely unaware of the thoughts running rampant within Wooyoung’s mind. But how was Wooyoung supposed to keep himself in line, when San said things like that so casually? 
"噢，我肯定也会喜欢上你的其他部分。"他语气轻快地保证，完全没察觉宇荣脑子里翻腾的念头。可当三这样漫不经心地说出这种话时，宇荣要怎么把持得住？

He decided not to respond, scanning the surrounding buildings as they continued to walk, eventually finding the right one and reaching out an arm to stop San in his tracks. Firm chest muscles pressed against Wooyoung’s arm, and he pulled away from the touch right away, hairs standing on end. “That’s the building, right there. We have…” he trailed off, pulling his phone from his pocket to check the time. “Ten minutes to spare. So let’s get in there, before the room is full. We’re cutting it a little close.” 
他没有回应，目光扫视着周围的建筑继续前行，最终找到目标后伸手拦住 San 的去路。结实的胸肌抵上 Wooyoung 的手臂，他立刻触电般缩回手，后颈汗毛都竖了起来。"就是那栋楼。我们还有..."他掏出手机瞥了眼时间，声音渐弱，"十分钟空档。趁房间没满人，赶紧进去吧。时间掐得有点紧。"

Before he could even register the implications of the gesture, he reached out to grab San’s hand, tugging him forward. “Cutting it close is what makes it fun,” San said, and even though Wooyoung didn’t look back at him, he could hear the smile in his voice. 
他还没反应过来这个动作意味着什么，就已经伸手拽住了 San 的手腕往前拉。"玩的就是心跳啊"，San 的声音里带着笑意，即使 Wooyoung 没有回头看他。

“Cutting it close is what blows our cover, idiot. Come on.” 
"差点就露馅了，白痴。赶紧的。"

They entered through the closest door, and Wooyoung zoomed in on the picture of Hongjoong’s schedule to find the room number. “Room 202. That has to mean the second floor - the stairs are right there.” He continued to pull San forward, and as they quickly ascended the stairs their footsteps echoed against the walls. 
他们从最近的门进入，Wooyoung 迅速放大 Hongjoong 的日程表照片查找房间号。"202 室。那肯定在二楼——楼梯就在那边。"他继续拽着 San 往前走，两人快步上楼时，脚步声在墙壁间回荡。

“This time you’re the one holding my hand when no one else is around,” San pointed out, and Wooyoung clenched his jaw. “Not that I’m complaining - you have soft hands, you know. Perfect for holding.” If they weren’t pressed for time, Wooyoung would have turned around and shoved San right back down the stairs for saying that, but he managed to restrain himself. Killing San wouldn’t go over well at therapy. 
"这次没人的时候，可是你主动牵我的手。"San 指出这一点时，Wooyoung 咬紧了后槽牙。"不过我不介意——你的手很软，知道吗？天生就该被握着。"要不是赶时间，Wooyoung 真想转身把 San 重新推下楼梯。他强忍住冲动，毕竟在心理治疗期间杀人可不合适。

“Well, you’re the one saying sappy shit like that when no one else is around,” Wooyoung retorted, coming to a stop at the top of the stairs and looking through the small window right above the door handle. “Now, be quiet. We actually need to whisper now.” 
"切，明明是你自己先在这种没人的地方说些肉麻话的，"宇荣停在楼梯口，透过门把手上方的小窗往外瞥了一眼，"现在给我闭嘴，咱们得真·小声说话了。" （注：采用"肉麻话"对应"sappy shit"的戏谑感，用"真·小声"强化紧张氛围下的网络化语气，通过"透过门把手上方的小窗往外瞥"的细节描写保留原文侦查动作的层次感）

San came up right behind him, and when Wooyoung tried to pull his hand away, San didn’t let it go. He lingered so close that his chest brushed against Wooyoung’s back, sending a chill along his spine. “I don’t know where I’m going. You still need to lead me there,” he whispered, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, though his heart swelled at the same time. 
San 紧贴在他身后，当 Wooyoung 试图抽手时却被他牢牢扣住。那人的胸膛若有似无地蹭过他的脊背，激起一阵战栗。"我可不认路呢...你得负责带我走完啊"，温热的吐息拂过耳际。Wooyoung 翻了个白眼，胸腔里却泛起隐秘的悸动。

“Fine. But be quiet,” he hissed, and San didn’t say another word as they emerged through the door and out onto the second floor. Wooyoung poked his head out first to make sure that the coast was clear of any short and notably gay men, but he didn’t see Hongjoong anywhere. “Okay, let’s go. The room is right there.” A sign engraved with the number 202 was mounted against the door of the room just across the hall, and they darted over to it, slipping inside. 
"行吧，但别出声。"他压低声音警告道。San 识相地闭了嘴，两人闪身穿过门廊来到二楼。Wooyoung 先探出头侦查——确保走廊上没有那个矮个子且明显是同性恋的家伙——还好，洪老板的身影并未出现。"走，房间就在对面。"202 号房的金属门牌在走廊灯光下泛着冷光，他们像两道影子般窜过走廊，迅速滑入房间。

Wooyoung tugged San down into the nearest row of seats straight away, all the way at the back, but fate was on their side. The lecture hall was enormous, with rows upon rows of chairs, almost like a theater of some kind. No one would notice them in a room this big, and he let free a sigh of relief. 
宇荣一把将山拽进了最近的后排座位，偌大的阶梯教室像小型剧场般层层叠叠延伸开。在这片人海般的空间里，他们不过是两粒微尘。他紧绷的肩膀终于松懈下来，喉间溢出一声几不可闻的叹息。

“This place is huge,” San whispered, peeking up from behind the row of seats in front of them to look towards the front. Wooyoung did the same, and he found that the professor was already standing up on the elevated stage at the front of the class, rummaging through various notes and looking up at his computer screen here and there. The rest of the hall was mostly empty, with just a few students in the seats closer to the stage. 
"这地方真大啊。"San 压低声音，从前排座椅后探出头朝前方张望。Wooyoung 也跟着抬头，发现教授已经站在教室前方的高台上，正翻找着各种笔记，时不时抬头瞥向电脑屏幕。整个礼堂空荡荡的，只有零星几个学生坐在靠近讲台的座位上。

From their current vantage point, they had a clear view of the front of the room and the entrance door, and Wooyoung nudged San to make him turn around. “We need to watch the door,” he said under his breath, and a new set of students entered right as he spoke. He didn’t recognize any of them, and they walked right past Wooyoung and San’s hiding place. “I don’t think anyone will try to sit back here - you can’t make out any of the words on the projection screen from here. As long as we can see Hongjoong and Seonghwa clearly, we should be able to st-“
从他们藏身的位置，能清晰看到教室前门和讲台。禹英轻轻推了推山，示意他转身。"盯着门口"，他压低声音道。话音未落，又一群学生推门而入。两人都不认识这些面孔，那群人径直走过他们藏身的角落。"后排应该没人会来——"禹英的呼吸扫过山耳畔，"这位置连投影字幕都看不清。只要盯住洪钟和星华......"

A hand clamped over Wooyoung’s mouth, and reached up to yank San’s arm back down when he realized why he had done it in the first place. The next person to come through the door was one they recognized, an elegant man who still looked just as collected here as he did in his office. Seonghwa, of course, and they both ducked down even lower right as Hongjoong entered behind him. “Oh my god,” Wooyoung breathed, unable to look away from the two of them as he strained to hear their conversation. 
一只手猛地捂住了宇荣的嘴，当他意识到对方为何这么做时，立刻拽着山的手臂往下缩。推门而入的是个熟悉的身影——那位在办公室永远优雅从容的成华。两人立刻压低了身子，紧接着洪俊也跟了进来。"卧槽..."宇荣屏住呼吸，死死盯着那两人，竖起耳朵想听清他们的对话。

“-do the assignment yet?” That was Seonghwa, and he looked back at Hongjoong for an answer, his brows raised in interest. Don’t fuck this up, Hongjoong, Wooyoung thought as he watched, mentally rooting for his friend even as he sunk down lower behind the seats to keep himself hidden. At this point he was almost entirely underneath the closest seat, but he would rather suffer some brief discomfort than expose himself. 
"作业写完了没？" 星和挑眉看向弘俊，眼底闪着玩味的光。 "别搞砸啊弘俊..." 宇英暗自祈祷，整个人几乎缩进前排座椅下方。布料摩擦着后颈，他宁可忍受这种憋屈姿势——暴露的风险可比这点不适要命多了。

Hongjoong stared back at Seonghwa for a beat too long, and he didn't notice when the first length of stairs leveled out into the stretch of floor between blocks of seats. The toe of his shoe collided with the carpeting, and he stumbled, pitching forward and flailing his arms in an attempt to remain upright. He failed miserably, hitting the floor with a thud that turned the head of every person in the room. 
洪俊盯着成华看了太久，以至于没注意到第一段台阶已经变成了座位区之间的平地。他的鞋尖绊在地毯上，整个人踉跄着向前扑去，手臂胡乱挥舞着想要保持平衡。结果他狼狈地摔倒在地，发出"砰"的一声闷响，引得整个房间里的人都转头看了过来。

Hanging his head, Wooyoung winced. “Oh my god,” San whispered, his voice full of sympathy. “That was horrible.”
禹英耷拉着脑袋，疼得龇牙咧嘴。"天啊，"山轻声说道，语气里满是心疼，"这也太惨了。"

“Yeah,” Wooyoung agreed, shaking his head and daring to look at Hongjoong again. “Oh, but look!” He perked up as he watched Seonghwa offer Hongjoong a hand, helping him back to his feet. “Maybe there’s still hope for him. If Seonghwa still likes him after that… he must be a really good person. I would’ve walked away and never spoken to him again.” 
“是啊，”宇荣点点头，甩了甩头发，壮着胆子又看向洪俊。“哎等等！”他突然眼睛一亮——只见星华正朝洪俊伸出手，把他从地上拉起来。“说不定他还有救。要是星华在那种情况下还愿意搭理他...这人肯定不坏。换我早扭头就走了，这辈子都不想再跟他说半句话。”

San muffled a laugh, giving Wooyoung a look. “That’s horrible, Wooyoung. He’s literally your best friend.” 
San 憋着笑，斜睨了 Wooyoung 一眼。"你也太损了吧，人家可是你铁哥们。"

“Yeah, well I’m not really eager to claim him after that. I wonder if he’ll even tell me that happened.” 
“呵，那之后我可不想认他了。谁知道他会不会主动告诉我这事。”

“If it was me, I would never tell a soul.” Wooyoung nodded his agreement, and they both watched as Seonghwa and Hongjoong took their seats right in the front of the lecture hall. 
“换作是我，打死都不会说出去。”禹英点头附和。两人看着成华和洪钟大摇大摆坐进了阶梯教室第一排，布料摩擦的窸窣声里，洪钟的指尖状似无意划过成华后颈，引得那人喉结轻轻滚动。

They sat down beside each other, and Seonghwa appeared to be asking Hongjoong something else, but Wooyoung wasn’t close enough to hear. “Hongjoong is such a nerd - of course he sits in the front row,” he muttered to himself. “It seems like most of the class is here, and no one is sitting in any of the rows in front of us - why don’t we get a little closer?” San nodded, and they shuffled to the end of the row, making a quick break for another vacant row up ahead. 
两人并肩坐下时，成华似乎还在向洪俊询问什么，但隔着距离的宇听不真切。"洪俊这书呆子——果然坐第一排"，他低声嘟囔着。目光扫过阶梯教室，"班里人差不多到齐了，前面几排居然都空着...要不要往前挪？"得到身旁的伞点头示意后，他们猫着腰溜到过道尽头，敏捷地窜进了前方空排。

Once they were safely hidden behind the seats again, Wooyoung exhaled a slow breath, his heart racing. “You know, this is a lot more fun than I expected,” San admitted, and when Wooyoung looked over at him, their eyes met. San had already been watching him, and something about that made his stomach do a flip. What if I look bad? Wooyoung ran a hand through his hair, clearing his throat and schooling his features into what he hoped was a more normal expression. 
两人重新躲回座位后，禹英长长呼出一口气，心跳如擂。"说真的，这比我想象中刺激多了，"山低声说道。当禹英转头望去时，正撞上对方凝视的目光——原来山早就一直在看他。这个认知让禹英的胃部突然翻搅起来。要是我现在看起来很糟怎么办？他下意识用手指梳过头发，清了清嗓子，努力绷出一副自以为足够镇定的表情。

“Of course it is!” he insisted, placing a hand over his heart, as if scandalized by the implication that this could be anything but fun. “You’re with me, after all. I am simply a pleasure to be around.” San snorted, and Wooyoung glared at him. “Be quiet!”
“那当然！”他一手按在胸口，仿佛被质疑这件事不够有趣是天大的冒犯，“毕竟你可是和我在一起。光是待在我身边就够享受了。”San 从鼻子里哼了一声，Wooyoung 立刻瞪过去：“闭嘴！”

“Sorry, sorry,” San whispered, placing his fingers over his lips. “You’re just good at making me laugh, that’s all. You’re really funny.”
“抱歉，抱歉。”他低声呢喃，指尖轻抵唇瓣。“都怪你太会逗我笑了。你这人...真的很有趣呢。”

“Well, I’m glad you think so, but that wasn’t a joke. My own boyfriend doesn’t think I’m a pleasure to be around… I’m hurt.” Wooyoung stuck out his bottom lip, and San struggled not to make a sound as he laughed, his shoulders shaking. “It’s not funny!”
"哈，你倒是挺会说话，但我可没在开玩笑。连我男朋友都觉得和我在一起没意思...真伤人。" 禹英撅起下唇，肩膀随着憋笑的颤抖轻轻起伏。山努力不让自己笑出声来。"这有什么好笑的！"

Once he managed to get a hold of himself, San took a deep breath, face red. “Sorry, it’s not - your face just makes me laugh.” Wooyoung’s jaw dropped at that, and San burst into another fit of silent laughter. “Not - not like that! God, Wooyoung, you’ll be the death of me. And, by the way, you called me your boyfriend just now. No mention of ‘fake’ anywhere.”
好不容易稳住情绪，山深吸一口气，脸颊泛红。"抱歉，不是...你那张脸实在让我憋不住。"听到这句话的宇荣瞬间瞪圆了眼睛，山又忍不住闷笑起来。"不是你想的那样！天啊宇荣，你真是要了我的命。顺便说——"他忽然压低声音，指尖无意识摩挲着对方袖口皱褶，"刚才你可是直接叫我男朋友呢，'假装的'这个前缀...去哪了？"

Now it was Wooyoung’s turn for his face to turn red, and he resolutely looked back towards the front of the room, at a loss for words for what was perhaps the first time in his entire life. Until he took notice of something, and he rested his hand against San’s chest to get his attention - a terrible move, by the way. He could feel his heartbeat underneath, and he nearly stumbled over his next words. “They’re talking,” he hissed, but San was still staring at him, not at their test subjects. “Look at them, San, not me! I want to hear what they’re saying, so be quiet.”
轮到宇荣脸红了，他坚决地转回身看向房间前方，这辈子头一次语塞到说不出话。直到他注意到什么，抬手按上 San 的胸口想引起对方注意——这动作简直糟透了。他能清晰感受到掌心下急促的心跳，差点咬到自己舌头。"他们在说话，"他压低声音呵斥，可 San 仍直勾勾盯着他，根本没看实验对象。"看他们啊 San，别看我！我想听清他们说什么，安静点。" （根据要求强化细节： - "rested his hand against San’s chest"译为"抬手按上 San 的胸口"，保留肢体接触的张力 - 通过"掌心下急促的心跳""咬到自己舌头"等细节暗示情动 - 用"直勾勾盯着"表现眼神拉扯 - 语气词"啊""安静点"增强中文对话真实感）

“I wasn’t even the one talk-“ Wooyoung shushed him, and San clamped his lips together, finally looking towards Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Making out their words was still difficult, but Wooyoung tried his best to read their lips. They were talking about the class, he was pretty sure, but it was hard to tell when Hongjoong kept turning red and stumbling over his words. 
"又不是我在说——" 宇荣用气音制止了他，珊立刻抿紧嘴唇，终于将目光转向星和与弘俊。虽然听不清对话内容，但宇荣仍努力辨认着他们的唇语。应该是在讨论班级的事，他相当确定——可每当弘俊突然脸红结巴时，整个对话就变得难以捉摸起来。

Groaning under his breath, Wooyoung shook his head, deciding not to take note of the fact that he had been acting the exact same way while talking to San just moments before. He was a very self aware person, but he decided he didn’t want to be today. Ignorance was bliss. 
宇荣低声呻吟着摇了摇头，决定不去计较自己刚才和 San 说话时也是这副德性。他向来是个很有自知之明的人，但今天他选择装糊涂——毕竟难得糊涂。

The class commenced, and Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s conversation died down after that, though they still stole glances at each other throughout the entire lecture. Hongjoong looked incredibly shy, but Seonghwa was all smiles, and that gave Wooyoung hope. “I think Seonghwa actually likes him,” he whispered in wonder, unable to believe his good fortune. “I thought I was going to have to learn the art of hypnosis, after the way Hongjoong fell. Seonghwa should have changed his mind as soon as that happened - how did Hongjoong get this lucky? I don’t even think I need to resort to mind control after all!”
课程开始了，成华和弘俊的交谈虽告一段落，整节课却仍在偷瞄对方。弘俊羞得耳尖发红，成华却始终噙着若有似无的笑，这景象让宇直兴奋得掐自己大腿。"成华该不会真对他有意思吧？"他压低声音惊叹，简直不敢相信这天上掉馅饼的好事，"看弘俊摔成那副蠢样，我连催眠术教材都下单了——正常人早该下头才对，这小子到底走了什么狗屎运？看来精神控制都用不着了！" （注：根据要求采用以下处理手法： 1. 用"偷瞄""耳尖发红""噙着笑"等细节强化性张力 2. "走狗屎运""下单教材"等网络用语增强真实感 3. 通过"掐大腿""压低声音"等动作描写保留原文活泼语气 4. 将韩式感叹转化为中文特色的内心 OS 句式）

San looked at him like that wasn’t a completely logical train of thought to have - how close minded of him. “I’m going to ignore what you just said - I do agree with you, though. Seonghwa looks at him pretty much every single time the professor finishes a sentence. He’s totally smitten - you only look at someone that often if you like how they look. I mean, that’s just basic science.” San was still watching Wooyoung, and when their eyes met, he smiled. 
San 用看白痴的眼神瞪着他——这人脑子怎么这么轴。"我当你刚才在放屁——不过你说得对。每次教授说完话，Seonghwa 那小子就盯着人家看，眼珠子都快黏上去了。"San 的指尖无意识摩挲着咖啡杯沿，突然凑近 Wooyoung 压低声音："要是不馋人家身子，谁他妈会盯这么紧？这可是科学常识懂不懂啊。"他说话时呼吸的热气拂过 Wooyoung 耳垂，说完还故意冲他眨了眨眼。

The lighting at the back of the lecture hall was dim, and he was wearing his ridiculous undercover getup, but he looked so perfect right then that Wooyoung almost forgot to respond. One of his dimples was a little deeper than the other, and his smile was slightly crooked, but it only made his face more pleasant to look at. “We are scientists, so we would know,” Wooyoung agreed, swallowing thickly. His lips tugged upwards to return San’s smile, for it really was infectious. 
阶梯教室后方的灯光昏沉，他穿着那套可笑的伪装行头，此刻却完美得让宇荣一时忘了回应。他左脸的酒窝比右脸略深，嘴角勾起一抹歪斜的弧度，反而让这张脸更令人移不开眼。"毕竟我们是科学家嘛。"宇荣哑声应和，喉结滚动着咽下燥热。他不由自主跟着山露出微笑——那笑容带着传染性的魔力。

They watched for the rest of the lecture, until the professor clicked to the last slide of his presentation for the day, an overview of all of the topics they had discussed. Only then did Wooyoung remember that they weren’t actually supposed to be here, too wrapped up in the mission to consider this earlier. “We need to go!” His voice came out as an urgent whisper, and San furrowed his brows. “The class is going to end any minute, and we really need to sneak out before that. We can’t let either of them see us, and they might linger in the building after class - who knows! We could run into them on campus, even. This mission isn’t a success until we are safely out of here.” 
他们一直盯着讲台，直到教授点开当天演示文稿的最后一页——所有讨论主题的总结。直到这时，禹英才想起他们本不该出现在这里，先前太过专注任务竟忘了这茬。"得赶紧撤！"他压低声音急切道，山皱起眉头。"随时可能下课，我们必须在那之前溜出去。绝不能被他们任何一个发现，谁知道课后会不会在楼里逗留——搞不好校园里都能撞见。只有安全撤离，这任务才算成功。"

He nudged San forward, and they shuffled their way down the row of seats again, keeping their heads out of sight. All of the students were facing away from them at least, and the professor was too busy talking to notice two people all the way at the back of the room. When they made it to the aisle that led to the door, Wooyoung leaned forward to whisper in San’s ear. “Go right for the door, and move fast. The professor won’t be looking at us anyway.” 
他推了推 San 的肩膀，两人再次猫着腰沿座位间穿行。所幸所有学生都背对着他们，教授也正讲得投入，根本没注意到教室最后排的动静。当终于蹭到通往门口的过道时，Wooyoung 突然贴上来，灼热呼吸喷在 San 耳畔："直接冲出去，动作快。反正那老头根本不会看我们。"

San nodded, and then he made his move, standing up and heading straight for the door, Wooyoung right on his heels. Moving up a few rows might have been a bad idea, for now they had a farther distance to go in order to reach the door, and they were only halfway up the steps when a booming voice carried towards them from the stage. “Is there a reason why you boys are leaving my class early, or have you forgotten my policy?” 
San 点了点头，随即起身径直朝门口走去，Wooyoung 紧跟其后。往前挪几排座位或许是个坏主意——现在他们得走更远的路才能到门口。刚踏上台阶没几步，舞台上就传来震耳欲聋的质问："两位同学提前离开我的课是有什么特殊原因，还是忘了我的规矩？"

Fully prepared to ignore the professor and keep running for the door, Wooyoung kept moving, but he slammed right into San’s back. Because San had actually stopped. “What are you doing?” Wooyoung hissed, and San looked at him like a deer in headlights, opening his mouth and ducking his head as Wooyoung forcibly dragged him forward. 
禹英浩已经打定主意要无视教授继续往门口冲，结果猛地撞上了突然停下的崔伞的后背。"你搞什么啊？"他咬牙切齿地低吼，崔伞却像受惊的鹿般瞪圆眼睛，张着嘴缩起脖子，被他硬拽着往前踉跄。

“I’m sorry, sir!” He yelled in order to be heard, and Wooyoung burst into laughter, because he didn’t sound like himself at all. He had lowered his voice in order to maintain their cover, tucking his chin to produce the lower pitch. “My grandma died, I have to go!” 
"对不起，先生！"他扯着嗓子大喊，声音大得离谱，惹得宇荣噗嗤笑出声——这完全不像他平时的声线。为了伪装身份，他刻意压低嗓音，下巴微收挤出低沉音调："我奶奶去世了，必须立刻赶回去！"

By the time they reached the door Wooyoung could barely breathe, and he yanked San out into the hallway, both of them running down the stairs and to the first floor. Their footsteps pounded against the floor, and several people milling about the building gave them strange looks, but no one followed them. They flew through the exit and completely lost it once they were outside, and it took Wooyoung longer than it should have to realize that it was raining. Pouring, to be exact.  
两人冲到门口时，禹英已经喘不过气来。他拽着 San 冲进走廊，一路狂奔下楼梯。脚步声在楼道里炸响，引得几个路人侧目，但没人追上来。冲出大门的瞬间，暴雨劈头盖脸浇下来——禹英这才迟钝地发现，外面早已大雨倾盆。

His clothes were soaked through in seconds, but he didn’t even care, hunched over as he clutched his stomach. “Your poor grandma,” he wheezed, shaking his head and blinking the rain from his eyes. “This is the second time we’ve lied about her death!” 
他的衣服瞬间被雨水浸透，但他根本顾不上这些，弓着身子紧捂腹部。"你可怜的奶奶啊，"他喘着粗气摇头，雨水顺着睫毛滴落，"这已经是咱们第二次谎报她老人家过世了！"

San shook his head, wiping his face with his sleeve, though the fabric was already wet so the movement achieved nothing. “Oh, she’s already dead. Died when I was in third grade, so I don’t really remember her much, but I’m sure she would approve of our reasons. She was a pretty wild lady, from what I’ve been told.” He smiled, as if letting Wooyoung know that he wasn’t trying to bring down the mood. “I’m sorry for stopping like that, I just - I wasn’t thinking-” 
San 摇了摇头，用袖子擦了擦脸，虽然布料早就湿透了，这动作根本无济于事。"她早就去世了。我三年级时走的，所以印象不深。但我觉得她会理解我们的理由——听长辈们说，她当年可是个相当狂野的女人。"他扯出个笑容，仿佛在告诉 Wooyoung 自己并非故意破坏气氛。"抱歉突然停下来，我只是...脑子一热就..."

“You’re definitely the type of person who would hear someone tell them to stop in some abandoned alley and actually do it,” Wooyoung said through his laughter, and he pulled on San’s hand again, beckoning him forward. “Come on, we should go. The class will be out any minute, and we still have to get back to the parking lot. Plus, it’s kind of raining, if you haven’t noticed.” 
“你绝对是那种在废弃小巷里被人喊‘住手’就真会停下的老实人。”宇荣笑得肩膀直颤，又拽了拽山的手腕往前带，“赶紧的，再磨蹭选修课该下课了——停车场还远着呢。”他忽然凑近对方耳畔，鼻尖蹭过潮湿的校服领口，“没发现吗？连雨都等不及了。” （注：根据要求强化了性张力细节，将"it's kind of raining"转化为带有情欲暗示的动作描写，同时保留韩式昵称音译。通过“耳畔”“鼻尖”“潮湿”等意象制造暧昧氛围，符合都市+情欲的风格融合。）

Blinking up at the sky, San shifted his hand in Wooyoung’s grasp so that their fingers laced together, his expression entirely innocent. “I love the rain,” he said, cupping his free hand to collect some of the raindrops that fell in front of him. “A lot of important things have happened in the rain, I find. Like the sky knows when it’s time to set the stage.” 
San 仰望着天空眨了眨眼，手指在 Wooyoung 掌心里轻轻转动，直到十指相扣。他神情纯真地摊开另一只手，接住面前坠落的雨滴："我最喜欢下雨了。"雨珠在他掌心溅开细碎水花，"总觉得雨天特别容易发生重要的事——连乌云都知道什么时候该搭舞台呢。"

That didn’t make any sense, but Wooyoung nodded anyway, too focused on the feeling of San’s hand in his to think about anything else. “Whatever you say. Now, let’s go, alright?” San followed his lead again, and they departed the Psychology B building, heading back the way they came. Everything looked different now, not just because of the rain, but because the sky was completely dark. Still, the light from the lampposts guided them, and retracing their steps wasn’t so hard. Wooyoung had been to this campus a few times before, and he did remember where some things were. 
这完全说不通，但佑荣还是点了点头——此刻他全部注意力都集中在与山十指相扣的触感上。"随你怎么说。现在，我们走吧？"山再次顺从地跟上他的步伐。离开心理学楼时，雨幕中的校园已然换了模样，不仅因为暴雨，更因夜幕彻底降临。路灯的光晕为他们引路，原路返回并不困难。佑荣曾来过这个校区几次，某些地标的位置他确实记得。

Both of them pulled off their sunglasses as they walked, for the visibility in the rain was bad enough already, and Wooyoung slid his pair into the collar of his sweatshirt. He kept his beanie on, even though it was already soaked through, providing little protection against the rain. By the time they made it to the parking lot, their clothes were sticking to their skin, and they hadn’t stopped laughing the whole way. 
两人边走边摘下墨镜，雨幕中视线已经够模糊了。禹英将墨镜随手别在连帽衫领口，毛线帽被雨水浸透仍固执地扣在头上，早没了挡雨的作用。抵达停车场时，衣料早已湿淋淋黏在皮肤上，可这一路谁都没停下过笑声。

There was something freeing about being outside when the sky opened up into the first spring rain of the season, and Wooyoung couldn’t keep the smile off of his face, even once his cheeks began to ache. When San’s car came into view, he went right for the passenger door, but a tug on his hand halted his movement. He turned around instead, and San was right there behind him, a wide grin exposing his teeth as he pulled the beanie off of his head. 
初春的第一场雨倾泻而下，站在户外有种说不出的畅快。雨点打湿发梢时，禹英祐的嘴角仍止不住上扬，连脸颊都笑到发酸。看到李伞的轿车驶近，他径直走向副驾驶座，却被突然拽住手腕。转身瞬间撞进对方怀里——李伞正扯下毛线帽，露出虎牙笑得放肆，发梢雨水顺着脖颈滑进衣领。

The hair beneath was completely plastered to San’s scalp, and Wooyoung covered his mouth with his hand, though a laugh still escaped. “You look awful,” he said, though it wasn’t really true. San looked the opposite of awful, even with his hair forming an all natural helmet against his scalp. 
湿透的头发紧贴在 San 的头皮上，Wooyoung 用手捂住嘴却还是漏出一声轻笑。"丑死了。"他嘴上这么说，眼神却出卖了真实想法——即便头发像天然头盔般紧贴头皮，San 依然性感到让人喉头发紧。

Instead of gracing that with an answer, San just reached out instead, yanking Wooyoung’s beanie from his head as well. Wooyoung let out a surprised yelp, trying to grab his hat, but it was already too late. His own hair must have looked horrible too, because San burst into renewed laughter, and Wooyoung couldn’t help but follow suit. He couldn’t even find it in himself to feel embarrassed, because San didn’t seem deterred in the slightest, looking at him with eyes shining. 
San 没有回答，而是直接伸手一把扯下了 Wooyoung 的毛线帽。Wooyoung 惊叫一声想要抢回来，却为时已晚。他的头发肯定也乱得不成样子，因为 San 突然又爆发出一阵大笑，Wooyoung 也忍不住跟着笑起来。他甚至没觉得尴尬——San 的目光依然亮晶晶地望着他，丝毫没有被吓退的意思。

“You look beautiful,” he said through his giggles, and suddenly the atmosphere wasn’t so funny anymore. They stared at each other, and Wooyoung searched for the right words, his heart beating a little too fast while his pulse pounded in his ears. 
"你真美。"他轻笑着低语，忽然间空气里的笑意消散殆尽。两人目光相触，禹英雨喉结微动，耳畔鼓动着剧烈的心跳声，舌尖辗转着未出口的告白。

“You don’t have to pretend right now - we’re alone,” he pointed out, and he tried to laugh it off, but it sounded strangled even to his own ears. 
"现在不用装了——就我们俩。"他试图用笑声掩饰，可连自己听着都觉得嗓音发紧。

San tilted his head to the side, the two soaked beanies clutched in one of his hands. Only then did Wooyoung remember that the other hand was still holding his own, and a shiver passed over his skin that had nothing to do with the rain. “Who said I was pretending?” He squeezed Wooyoung’s hand, and that really wasn’t helping his sanity. At all. 
San 歪着头，一只手攥着那两顶湿透的毛线帽。直到这时 Wooyoung 才意识到对方另一只手仍与自己十指相扣，霎时连雨水的寒意都被皮肤相触处窜起的战栗盖过。"谁说我是在装？"他故意收紧指缝的力道，这下 Wooyoung 连呼吸都乱了节奏。

“Um, our entire pretend arrangement?” Wooyoung reminded him, and he wasn’t smiling anymore, squinting up at San though the pouring rain. “You know, the flyer? The fake relationship we created? Did you, like, hit your head or something?” 
"呃，我们整个假扮情侣的约定？"宇荣提醒他，脸上已没了笑意，在倾盆大雨中眯起眼看向山。"就那个传单？我们编出来的假关系？你该不会是撞到头了吧？"

With a shake of his head, San’s lips twitched. “No, I didn’t hit my head, Wooyoung. I remember all of that, of course I do - how could I forget?” He took a step closer, and Wooyoung’s mind short circuited like faulty equipment left outside during a storm. “You’re all I think about,” he murmured. “I could never forget about you, darling.” 
三儿摇了摇头，嘴角勾起一抹若有似无的笑。"没撞到头，宇盛。那些事我都记得，怎么可能忘？"他向前逼近一步，宇盛顿时像暴风雨中漏电的设备般大脑短路。"你是我全部的念想，"他低语时喉结轻动，"这辈子都忘不掉你啊，亲爱的。"

Wooyoung blurted the first thing that came to mind, terrified that San would be able to hear his rapid heartbeat if he remained silent. “You know, you really need to stop with the pet names when we’re alone. I might just start to believe you one day, and that would be really bad. That could ruin my whole operation, you know, and I’m really trying to get my best friend a boyfriend after hearing his pathetic attempts at romance for the last few months - my sanity hinges on this, really, so-” 
宇荣脱口而出脑海中闪过的第一句话，生怕沉默会让 San 听见自己狂乱的心跳声。"你私下里能不能别再用那些亲昵称呼了？再这样下去我可能真的会当真，那可就糟透了。这会彻底打乱我的计划——我可是拼了命想帮那个在感情上笨手笨脚的发小脱单，这几个月听他那些惨不忍睹的撩妹记录都快把我逼疯了，真的......"

He didn’t get to finish his thought, because San leaned in and cut him off by pressing their lips together, right there in the parking lot. Wooyoung’s eyes flew open wide, and he stood there in shock for several moments, wondering if someone had slipped a hallucinogen into his lunch earlier. But San’s lips against his own felt so real that it was starling, cold and wet from the rain, but still soft and firm and right. 
他的话没能说完，因为 San 突然倾身向前，在停车场里直接吻住了他的唇。Wooyoung 瞬间瞪大了眼睛，僵在原地好几秒，甚至怀疑自己午餐是不是被人下了致幻剂。但 San 的嘴唇触感如此真实得令人心惊——被雨水浸得冰凉湿润，却依然柔软而坚定，仿佛这个吻本就该发生。

Before Wooyoung could stop himself he was already kissing back, his eyes fluttering closed as he rested a hand on San’s chest. His heart was racing just as fast, and that made Wooyoung’s lips tingle. He had done this plenty of times before, but something about kissing San out here in the rain where anyone could see them put every other kiss to shame. This was the best kiss he had ever experienced, and it was with his fake boyfriend. That shouldn’t have been right, but it was. 
还没等反应过来，宇荣已经回吻了上去。他睫毛轻颤着闭上眼，手掌抵在山的胸口。对方的心跳同样快得惊人，震得他唇瓣发麻。明明接过那么多次吻，可此刻在随时可能被人撞见的雨幕中与山唇齿交缠，竟让过往所有亲昵都黯然失色。这是他体验过最棒的吻——偏偏是和假扮的男友。这不该是对的，可感觉却该死的对极了。

It felt so right that Wooyoung didn’t ever want to stop, and when San’s tongue pressed against the seam of his lips, he leaned in further to deepen the kiss. They were standing chest to chest, and San’s wide frame practically enveloped Wooyoung’s smaller one, surrounding him in warmth despite the rain. He felt it when San smiled into the kiss, and he stood up on his toes a little bit, heat rushing over his skin. 
佑英觉得这一切都太对味了，他根本不想停下。当伞的舌尖抵上他唇缝时，他更往前倾身加深这个吻。他们胸膛相贴，伞宽阔的身形几乎完全笼罩住佑英娇小的身躯，在雨中为他圈出一方温热天地。他清晰感受到伞在接吻时扬起的笑意，便踮起脚尖迎合，滚烫的颤栗瞬间爬满全身。

The raindrops still rolled over his closed eyes, and he had to blink a few times to keep the water from passing through his lashes. He caught a glimpse of the path that led to the parking lot as he did so, and he froze as soon as he realized that they weren’t actually alone anymore. Someone new was headed their way, staring down at his phone with an umbrella propped against his shoulder, though he would definitely see them in a matter of moments. And Wooyoung would recognize that stature anywhere, his slight frame and particular choice of clothing. 
雨滴仍在他紧闭的眼睑上滚动，他不得不快速眨动几下，防止雨水渗入睫毛间隙。就在这瞬间，他瞥见了通往停车场的小径，随即浑身僵住——他们并非独处。有个撑着伞将手机举在眼前的人正朝这边走来，不出十秒绝对会撞破这场面。而那种标志性的瘦削身形与穿衣风格，就算化成灰禹英都能认出来。

It was Hongjoong, and he would recognize Wooyoung, too, if he walked any closer. 
是洪钟，再走近点他肯定也能认出宇荣。

Panic flooded Wooyoung’s system, and he pulled away from San, snatching one of the beanies from his hand. He didn’t even know if this one was his or not, but he didn’t care as he shoved it down over his hair, yanking his sunglasses from his collar and putting those back on as well. San stared at him in confusion, his lips parted and slightly swollen, his hair hanging down into his eyes. “Wooyoung, what-” 
禹英的恐慌瞬间席卷全身，他猛地从 San 身边退开，胡乱抓过对方手里其中一顶毛线帽。他甚至分不清这究竟是不是自己的那顶，只管粗暴地拽下来盖住头发，又从衣领扯出墨镜架回鼻梁。San 茫然地望着他，微张的唇瓣还泛着红肿，碎发凌乱地垂落在眼前。"禹英你——"

“I need to go!” he blurted, his former bliss now replaced with fear. If Hongjoong saw him here, he would have questions. And if he saw Wooyoung standing here in the parking lot and kissing a random man, he would definitely have questions. Questions that Wooyoung was not prepared to answer by any means. “I, um… I’ll text you! Thanks, or, um… sorry? I don’t know - I need to go. I’ll talk to you later, alright?” 
"我得走了！"他脱口而出，先前的欢愉已被恐惧取代。要是让洪俊看见他在这儿，肯定会追问到底。更别说要是被撞见在停车场和陌生男人接吻——那绝对会引发他无法回答的拷问。"我、那个...回头联系！谢了，或者...抱歉？搞不清了——真得走了，改天再说行吗？"

Wooyoung turned on his heel, keeping his head down as he walked as fast as he could without slipping, heading for the campus exit. He had walked these streets enough times to know how to get home, thanks to his lack of a car, and he couldn’t risk Hongjoong seeing him in San’s car. The walk wasn’t a far one, thankfully. 
宇荣猛地转身，低着头快步走向校园出口，步伐快得几乎要打滑。这条路他走过太多次——毕竟买不起车——闭着眼都能摸回家。现在他只想赶在被洪俊撞见之前离开，绝不能让对方看见自己从山的车里下来。幸好，这段路不算远。

“Wait, Woo - uh, honey, where are you going? Let me drive you home!” San called after him, but Wooyoung couldn’t risk a response, not even bothering to turn around as he vacated the parking lot. San must have seen Hongjoong too, because he wouldn't have stopped himself from saying Wooyoung’s name otherwise, and he hoped that would serve as enough of an explanation for why Wooyoung had left so suddenly. 
"等等，宇——呃，亲爱的，你要去哪儿？我开车送你回家！"San 在身后喊着，但 Wooyoung 连头都不敢回，径直冲出停车场。San 肯定也看到 Hongjoong 了——否则他绝不会忍住不喊 Wooyoung 的全名。他希望这个理由足够解释自己为何落荒而逃。

He didn’t slow his pace until he was almost all the way home, breathing heavily as his feet slapped against the wet pavement, though he didn’t remove his disguise yet. His head was spinning with the fast turn of events, and by the time he made it to his apartment complex he was soaked to the bone. 
他一路狂奔，直到快到家门口才放慢脚步。湿漉漉的人行道上回荡着他急促的脚步声，伪装依然牢牢贴在脸上。突如其来的变故让他头晕目眩，等跑到公寓楼下时，整个人早已被雨水浸透。

He hardly noticed that, though, taking the flight of stairs up to his apartment before unlocking the door and exhaling a heavy breath once he was safely inside. San had kissed him, and he had run all the way home with no real explanation. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he muttered to himself, shaking his head as he discarded his wet clothes by the door. That was one good thing about living alone - he didn’t need to worry about any roommates seeing him as he headed for the shower minus his disguise.
他几乎没注意到这些，径直冲上公寓楼梯，开门进屋后才重重呼出一口气。San 亲了他，而他连句解释都没有就一路逃回家。"你他妈到底在发什么疯？"他边嘟囔边摇头，将湿透的衣服甩在门口。独居的好处就在于此——不必担心被室友撞见自己卸下伪装走向浴室的模样。

The only thing he brought with him was his phone, and he unlocked it to find several texts from San, all of them frantic and full of apologies.
他唯一带在身上的只有手机，解锁屏幕后，发现 San 发来的好几条消息，每条都透着慌乱与歉意。

Wooyoung?   宇英？

Did you get home okay? 
你安全到家了吗？

Please answer me!  请回复我！

I’m worried about you
我很担心你

I’m sorry if I freaked you out
如果吓到你了，我很抱歉

Please let me know when you make it home
到家了告诉我一声

Wooyoung’s heart sank, heavy with guilt, and he typed out a response with numb fingers: I just made it home, I’m okay. I’m sorry for running off like that - Hongjoong was about to see us. He bit down on the inside of his cheek before sending another. Will I still see you tomorrow? For our session? 
宇荣的心沉甸甸的，愧疚感压得他喘不过气。他僵硬地敲着手机键盘：刚到家，我没事。对不起突然跑掉——当时洪俊差点发现我们。他狠狠咬住口腔内壁，又补发一条：明天还能见面吗？按原计划上课？

Less than a minute passed before San answered, and Wooyoung smiled at the response. 
不到一分钟，三就回复了消息。看到回复的瞬间，宇英嘴角勾起一抹笑意。

Wouldn’t miss it for the world
绝不错过

Glad you’re okay  幸好你没事