Archive of Our Own ^beta
我们的档案 ^beta

Chapter Text  正文

The bell chimed as another customer entered the cafe, and Wooyoung scrambled his way back to the register, setting down a steaming cup of coffee at the bar on his way and yelling the name loud enough for the neighbors next door to hear. Breathless from the morning rush, Wooyoung ran a hand through his bangs, already reaching for a new cup and sharpie before he realized who the next customer actually was. 
咖啡馆的门铃随着又一位顾客的进入而叮当作响，禹英慌乱地跑回收银台，途中将一杯冒着热气的咖啡放在吧台上，喊名字的声音大得连隔壁邻居都能听见。早高峰的忙碌让他气喘吁吁，禹英随手拨了拨刘海，还没看清下一位顾客是谁，就已经条件反射地拿起了新杯子和记号笔。

“Hongjoong,” he greeted in undisguised surprise, though nothing about this was actually unusual. Hongjoong always came around for his morning coffee, and though he did skip some mornings, this was a Wednesday. Ever since the start of the year, Hongjoong had faithfully taken his spot at the corner booth every Wednesday and Friday, and he quirked a brow. “Sorry, sorry,” Wooyoung continued, smacking his own forehead. “Forgot what day it is - the usual?” 
洪准，"他毫不掩饰惊讶地打招呼，尽管这其实并不稀奇。洪准总是来喝晨间咖啡，虽然偶尔会跳过几个早晨，但今天是星期三。自年初以来，每逢周三周五，洪准都会雷打不动地坐在角落卡座。他挑了挑眉。"抱歉抱歉，"禹英拍着自己额头继续说，"忘记今天周几了——老样子？

He received a nod in return, and Wooyoung passed the cup over to Yeosang, the only other coworker who worked the opening shift at this godforsaken place. “Hongjoong wants-” 
他点头回应，禹英将杯子递给与星——这破地方唯一和他一起上早班的同事。"洪俊要——"

“The usual, yeah. I got it,” Yeosang finished, somehow always able to keep his composure intact even in the middle of a morning rush. Wooyoung just made a face, going back to the register and taking the order of the next person in line, fidgeting with the strings of his apron. They were beginning to feel too loose around his waist, and he took a moment to retie them, wishing that the time would go by faster. 
"老样子是吧，行。"Yeosang 应道，即便在早高峰的忙乱中他也能保持一贯的从容。Wooyoung 撇了撇嘴，转身回到收银台接待下一位顾客，手指无意识地拨弄着围裙系带。那带子在他腰间松垮得发痒，他趁机重新系紧，暗自祈祷时间能过得再快些。

Not that he didn’t enjoy his job - he actually loved it, for he loved talking to people and was practically born to stand behind a register. That being said, though, he had gotten about three hours of sleep the night before, and he was already regretting his decision to skip breakfast. He checked his watch for the second time in the last five minutes, sighing upon the confirmation that it still wasn’t time for his break. 
他并非不喜欢这份工作——事实上他爱极了，毕竟他天生就爱与人交谈，站在收银台后简直如鱼得水。但问题是，昨晚他只睡了三个小时，此刻正为没吃早餐的决定后悔不已。五分钟内第二次瞥向手表时，发现离休息时间还早，他忍不住叹了口气。

The morning continued on in the same fashion, with Wooyoung eventually forgetting about his rumbling stomach as he chatted with the regulars and made the drinks, and he didn’t even realize when it was time for his break until Yeosang forcibly shoved him away from the register. “Go eat, you idiot,” he grumbled, and Wooyoung’s entire face lit up, already taking off his apron and throwing it over one of the chairs against the back wall. 
早晨依旧如常，禹英逐渐忘记了咕咕作响的肚子，一边和熟客们闲聊一边调制饮品，直到被荣尚强行从收银台推开才意识到该休息了。"去吃饭吧，白痴。"荣尚嘟囔着，禹英整张脸顿时亮了起来，迅速解下围裙甩向后墙边的椅子。

“Thanks, Yeosang!” He called over his shoulder, not waiting for a response as he grabbed two large pastries from the display case, popping them into a paper bag and crushing the top part in his fist. He emerged from behind the counter, headed straight for the corner booth. Hongjoong was seated there as usual, his laptop open and a look of concentration on his face, though he glanced up when he heard Wooyoung’s footsteps approaching. 
“谢了，Yeosang！”他头也不回地喊了声，没等对方应答就从展示柜里抓出两大块酥皮点心，塞进纸袋时故意用拳头碾碎顶端。跨出柜台时，他径直朝角落卡座走去——Hongjoong 果然像往常那样坐在那里，笔记本电脑亮着屏，眉心还蹙着工作时的专注纹路，却在听见 Wooyoung 脚步声的瞬间抬起了眼。

“Hey,” he greeted, and Wooyoung slid into the seat opposite him, enjoying the comfortable cushion of the seat after being on his feet all morning. He dropped the pastry bag onto the table, ripping it open and tearing a piece from the first one. The moment it touched his tongue he made a sound of contentment, wiping the sugar from his hands with a napkin. 
“嘿，”他打了声招呼，宇英在他对面坐下，站了一上午后终于能享受座椅柔软的靠垫。他把点心袋扔在桌上，撕开包装掰下第一块。刚入口就满足地哼出声，用餐巾纸擦掉手上的糖粉。

Hongjoong watched him with a fond smile, and Wooyoung swallowed, his stomach thanking him for the food. “So,” he started, already reaching for another piece of the pastry. “What kind of groundbreaking thing did he do this time?” 
洪俊带着宠溺的笑容注视着他，宇荣咽下食物，胃里暖洋洋的满足感让他眯起眼睛。"所以，"他伸手又拿起一块糕点，指尖沾着糖霜，"这次他又搞出什么惊天动地的大事了？" 说话时喉结随着吞咽轻轻滚动，宽松衣领下若隐若现的锁骨还沾着方才蹭到的奶油。

He watched as his friend’s face lit up, and Wooyoung sighed in exasperation, though he couldn’t hide his smile either. “Okay, well, he sat next to me again! He’s been doing that every time now - I feel like it’s a good sign,” Hongjoong gushed, and Wooyoung had to hold back his laughter, for his friend sounded like he was still in middle school. 
他看着朋友脸上绽放的笑容，忍不住也跟着勾起嘴角，却还是佯装无奈地叹了口气。"行吧，他又坐我旁边了！最近每次都这样——我觉得这绝对有戏，"洪钟兴奋得喋喋不休，那副模样让宇英差点笑出声，活像个情窦初开的初中生。

“Did you actually say anything to him this time?” Wooyoung asked, and Hongjoong nodded eagerly, which he supposed was progress. Hongjoong had been too scared to talk to the so-called “very pretty man” in his Tuesday and Thursday night psychology class for the first several weeks, even though Wooyoung speculated that he spent a larger portion of the lecture staring at the guy - Seonghwa was his name - than he did actually paying attention to the material. 
"这次你终于跟他搭话了吗？"禹英问道，洪钟热切地点头——这在他看来已经是巨大进步了。尽管禹英推测洪钟在周二周四晚上的心理学课上，盯着那个叫"成华"的"超级帅哥"的时间比听讲还多，但前几周他始终没勇气和对方交谈。

“He asked if the seat was taken, even though it obviously wasn’t and he obviously knows that since he’s sat there so many times - I think he just wanted an excuse to talk to me! So I told him it wasn’t, and he sat down,” Hongjoong explained, with heart eyes so massive that an outsider probably would have thought he was telling the story of a marriage proposal. 
"他问我这个座位有没有人坐，明明空得那么明显，而且他都坐过那么多次了——我觉得他就是想找借口跟我说话！所以我说没人，他就坐下了。"洪钟讲述时眼睛里的爱心都快溢出来了，不知道的人还以为他在描述求婚场景。

Wooyoung nodded in earnest, as if this were the most groundbreaking story he had ever heard. “Wow, sounds like he’s completely smitten,” he agreed, and Hongjoong’s smile grew wider, if that was even possible, before he detected the sarcasm in Wooyoung’s tone. His smile turned into a pout an instant later, and Wooyoung laughed lightly, shoving another piece of pastry into his mouth. 
禹英真挚地点了点头，仿佛在听什么惊天动地的故事。"哇哦，看来他完全被迷住了嘛。"他附和道，洪俊的笑容顿时更加灿烂——如果还能更灿烂的话——直到他察觉到禹英话里的讽刺意味。下一秒那笑容就垮成了委屈的嘟嘴，禹英轻笑着往他嘴里又塞了块酥皮点心。

“Oh come on, Hongjoong. I’m just teasing you - you know I live for these stories.” And it really was true - Wooyoung had wanted Hongjoong to act on his crush for ages, and though his current stories didn’t seem like much progress, they were worlds better than the updates he used to give. He left to go to the bathroom halfway through the lecture today, Hongjoong had said once, stars in his eyes . Wooyoung rolled his eyes just thinking about it. 
"哎呀，洪钟，我就是逗你玩嘛——你知道我最爱听这些八卦了。"这话倒不假——宇荣早就盼着洪钟能对暗恋对象有所行动，虽然现在的进展听起来依旧不温不火，但比起之前那些"今天上课时他中途去了趟洗手间"这种星星眼汇报的烂梗，已经强了八百倍。宇荣光是回想那些陈年旧料就忍不住翻白眼。

“Okay, well, how about this - I did find out something else about him last night,” Hongjoong enticed, and Wooyoung leaned in conspiratorially, resting his chin in his hands. “Our professor asked us a question about our personal experiences when it comes to psychology in relationships, and Seonghwa raised his hand. Of course the professor called on him, and he said that he’s a couples therapist, so he has observed a lot of different relationships in his field.” 
“好吧，那这样——我昨晚确实还打听到些关于他的事。”洪钟故意卖关子，而佑英立刻凑近过来，双手托腮摆出密谋的姿势。“教授让我们分享恋爱心理学相关的个人经历时，成华举手了。教授当然点了他，结果他说自己是个婚姻咨询师，所以见识过形形色色的亲密关系。”

Now that was actually interesting… Wooyoung could already feel an idea forming, and he tried his best to keep the smile off his lips. “Oh, yeah? And did you then tell him that you’re actually an adjunct professor of interpersonal psych yourself, but you still have issues with actually talking to the man you’ve been obsessing over for months?” 
这倒真有意思……禹英已经能感觉到一个主意正在成形，他竭力忍住嘴角的笑意。"哦？那你有没有告诉他，其实你自己就是人际关系心理学的客座教授，却连和暗恋了几个月的人正常交谈都做不到？"

Hongjoong’s change in expression was comical, and Wooyoung burst into laughter before he could stop himself, fully aware that nearly everyone in the cafe had turned to stare. It wasn’t his fault that his laugh was incredibly loud, and he was used to the looks by now, not even sparing them a glance as he grinned at his friend. “I’m just kidding, Hongjoong. But seriously, you never actually say anything to him. He probably thinks you hate him.” 
洪钟表情的变化滑稽极了，禹英还没反应过来就爆发出大笑，完全意识到咖啡馆里几乎所有人都转头看了过来。谁让他的笑声就是这么洪亮呢，他早就习惯了这些目光，甚至懒得瞥他们一眼，只顾对着朋友咧嘴笑。"开个玩笑啦洪钟。但说真的，你从没主动和他说过话，他八成以为你讨厌他。"

Eyes widening in alarm, Hongjoong abruptly shut his laptop. “Do you really think so?” He asked, and Wooyoung shrugged. 
洪钟惊慌地瞪大眼睛，猛地合上笔记本电脑。"你真这么觉得？"他问道，禹英耸了耸肩。

“I mean, if it were me, I would want you to actually talk to me,” he reasoned, but Hongjoong scoffed. 
"要换作是我，肯定会希望你能主动开口，"他分析道，但洪钟只是嗤之以鼻。

“That’s because you’ll die without constant attention. I would know.” 
那是因为没有持续关注你就会死。我最清楚了。

“Oh, shut up.”   “闭嘴。”

~

For the rest of his shift, Wooyoung merely went through the motions of taking orders and passing the cups over to Yeosang, his mind occupied by the new piece of information Hongjoong had shared with him. Seonghwa is a couples therapist. This was the first real thing that Wooyoung had learned about him, other than his name, and it was hard to find the exact man in Hongjoong’s class based on first name alone. He had tried. 
在剩下的值班时间里，禹英只是机械地接单并把杯子递给旼尚，满脑子都是洪钟分享给他的新信息——星华是个婚姻咨询师。这是禹英除了名字外第一次真正了解他，而仅凭名字要在洪钟的班级里找到确切的那个人实在太难了。他试过了。

But now… well, now he actually stood a chance, and as soon as he made it back to his apartment after his shift, he sat down at his computer and began his search. 
但现在…好吧，现在他确实有机会了。刚下夜班回到公寓，他就立刻坐到电脑前开始搜索。

‘Seonghwa couples therapist’ seemed like a good place to start, so he typed the combination of words into the search bar and limited the results to his location, waiting for them to load. Sure enough, he received several results that seemed like they could lead to something useful, and he clicked on the top one first. “Crescent Couples Counseling,” he murmured to himself, eyes scanning over the website’s front page. 
"成和情侣治疗师"似乎是个不错的搜索起点，他把这组词输入搜索栏并限定本地结果，等待页面加载。果然，跳出了几个看似有用的结果，他首先点开了最上面那个。"新月情侣咨询"，他轻声念着，目光扫过网站首页。

The logo was simple, and the welcome page was fairly basic, so he moved the mouse to click the drop down menu in the upper right corner. “Our message… schedule with us… location…” Wooyoung bit his lower lip, surprised at how many different parts of this website there were. Just as he was considering clicking out of the website and going to the next search result, he found what he was looking for, and a mischievous smile spread along his lips. 
标志很简洁，欢迎页面也相当基础，于是他把鼠标移到右上角的下拉菜单。"我们的理念…预约方式…服务地点…"禹英咬着下唇，惊讶于这个网站竟有这么多分区。正当他考虑关掉页面查看下一个搜索结果时，突然找到了想要的东西，嘴角随即扬起狡黠的笑容。

“Perfect,” he breathed, clicking on the ‘Meet our Therapists’ option, the screen loading for a moment before displaying a new page. Wooyoung clapped his hands together as he stared at the list of names - he was allowed to be dramatic in the comfort of his own apartment, and he hadn’t been this excited about something in a while. 
"完美，"他轻呼一声，点击了"认识我们的治疗师"选项，屏幕加载片刻后跳转到新页面。禹英盯着名单上的名字，兴奋地拍起手来——在自己公寓里他完全可以尽情夸张，已经很久没为某件事这么激动过了。

He wasn’t sure of Seonghwa’s surname, so he carefully scanned over each name on the list until he found the one he was searching for. Park Seonghwa. Wooyoung was willing to bet that this was him, for what were the odds that another couples therapist named Seonghwa lived in the area? He clicked on the name, hoping for a photo that would at least confirm that this man was young enough to be Hongjoong’s love interest. 
他不确定星河的姓氏，于是仔细浏览名单上的每个名字，直到找到寻找的那个。朴星河。禹英敢打赌就是这个人，这附近怎么可能还有另一个叫星河的情侣治疗师？他点击这个名字，希望能看到照片，至少确认这个男人年轻到足以成为弘彬的恋爱对象。

And sure enough, the small rectangular photo that popped onto the screen was most definitely the man Wooyoung had been hearing about for months. He had heard enough of Seonghwa’s appearance to recognize the length of his hair, the bangs that hung down slightly into his eyes, the prominent cheekbones and pretty smile on his lips. 
果然，屏幕上弹出的长方形小照片，绝对是这几个月来他不断听说的那个人。关于星河的外貌他听得够多了：垂落的刘海微微遮住眼睛，突出的颧骨，还有唇边那抹漂亮的笑容。

Jackpot.   中大奖了。

The plan was already rapidly forming in his mind, and he leaned back in his desk chair, staring at the picture on his computer screen. Hongjoong would never be able to do this on his own, that had been made very clear by his countless meltdowns over his own awkwardness, and Wooyoung prided himself on being an incredible wingman. Not that he had ever done something like this before, but he just had a feeling that it would go over flawlessly and Hongjoong would be thanking him. 
计划在他脑海中迅速成形，他向后靠在办公椅上，盯着电脑屏幕上的照片。洪准显然无法独自完成这件事——那些因笨拙而崩溃的无数次场面早已说明一切，而宇晟向来以金牌僚机自居。虽说他从未干过这种勾当，但直觉告诉他这次行动会天衣无缝，到时候洪准非得跪谢他不可。

Not that Hongjoong would know about it - at least not yet, not until he achieved his goal of getting the two of them together. Hongjoong would most definitely murder Wooyoung if he knew what he was planning, and Wooyoung tended to be more of the ‘ask for forgiveness, not permission’ type anyway. 
洪俊对此还一无所知——至少目前如此，在他达成撮合两人的目标前都不会知道。要是让洪俊知道他的计划，绝对会宰了宇荣。不过宇荣向来信奉"先斩后奏"的处世哲学。

Minimizing the website page, Wooyoung pulled up his document software instead, opening a blank page and already switching the font color to red. He typed in big capital letters, his fingers flying over the keys as he knew exactly what he wanted to say, smiling to himself. 
最小化网页窗口后，禹英转而打开文档软件，新建空白页面并将字体调成红色。他嘴角噙着笑，十指在键盘上翻飞，用大写字母快速敲出早已想好的内容。

FAKE BOYFRIEND FOR HIRE, it read. WILL PAY IN COFFEE. CALL THIS NUMBER IF INTERESTED. He had listed his own phone number below, along with a few requirements for said fake boyfriend. Namely, not an old creep, and not a high schooler either. Among a few other very reasonable things. 
"出租假男友"，标题这样写道。"报酬为咖啡。有意者请致电"。他在下方留了自己的电话号码，还列出了几项基本要求：不能是变态大叔，也不能是高中生。当然还有其他几条合情合理的小条件。

Satisfied with his work, Wooyoung reached over to turn on his printer. The idea was slightly outrageous - he knew that, but he still figured it was worth a try. If no one called from the flyer, then he could always wander around town and try to find someone that way. Wooyoung could be very persuasive, and he knew he wasn’t bad to look at either. 
宇荣满意地看着自己的作品，伸手按下打印机开关。这主意确实有点离谱——他心知肚明，但总归值得一试。要是传单发出去没人联系，大不了在城里晃悠着物色人选。他向来擅长蛊惑人心，更何况这副皮囊也算拿得出手。

If he ever found a flyer like this one, he would call the number immediately, because how many people actually had the chance to be involved in one of those fake dating stories? Surely someone else out there would feel the same way and give him a call - he could almost feel it. This was going to work, and he was going to go down in history as the best wingman there ever was. 
要是他真能捡到这种传单，绝对会第一时间拨通上面的号码——毕竟谁不想体验一把假约会戏码？肯定也有人跟他想的一样，说不定下一秒电话就响了。他几乎能预感到，这事儿准能成，自己绝对能成为史上最强僚机，名留青史。

Most coffee shops had a message board up on the wall somewhere, though Wooyoung knew he couldn’t use the board at his own cafe since Hongjoong was there so often. He was pretty sure the cafe a few streets over had one, too… though it pained him to have to use the message board of their main competitor. 
大多数咖啡馆墙上都会挂个留言板，但禹英知道自家店里的不能用——毕竟洪俊那家伙总在那儿晃悠。他记得隔几条街那家竞争对手的店里也有块板子…虽然用死对头的地盘发消息让他心里膈应得慌。

Still, it was for the greater good, even if that meant his potential fake boyfriend was a traitor. Wooyoung would have to show him what good coffee tasted like, that’s all. Pleased with his plan, Wooyoung stashed the flyer in the bag he always brought with him to work, already planning to make a pit stop the next morning. 
不过，为了大局着想——哪怕这意味着他未来的假男友可能是个叛徒——宇荣也得让对方尝尝什么叫真正的咖啡。他把宣传单塞进随身携带的工作包里，盘算着明早顺路去趟咖啡店，嘴角不自觉扬起胜券在握的弧度。

~

Two days later, Wooyoung received a phone call from an unknown number on his walk home from his shift at the cafe, and he fumbled for the accept button, nearly dropping his phone in the process. “Hello?” He asked breathlessly, praying that the voice on the other line would be a real person and not a robot telling him his car insurance had expired - Wooyoung didn’t even have a car. 
两天后，值完咖啡店夜班的宇荣正往家走时，一个陌生号码打了进来。他手忙脚乱去按接听键，差点把手机摔在地上。"喂？"他喘着气问道，暗自祈祷电话那头是活人——而不是什么推销车险的机器人客服。毕竟他连车都没有。

“Hi, is this, um, whoever posted that flyer at the Coffee Bean?” Wooyoung pulled a face at the name of the rival store, but he still nodded his head before realizing that the man couldn’t actually see him. 
“嗨，请问是...呃，在 Coffee Bean 贴传单的那位吗？”禹英对着竞争对手的店名做了个鬼脸，但还是在点头后才意识到对方根本看不见他的动作。

“Oh, um, yes,” he responded a beat late, his cheeks flaming. “This is he - this is Wooyoung. My name is Wooyoung.” 
“啊、嗯，对。”他慢了半拍才应声，脸颊烧得通红。“是我——我是宇荣。我叫宇荣。”

“Okay, well, it’s nice to meet you, Wooyoung. Or, well, not to meet you, but to talk to you. Um,” the man stuttered, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, grateful that he wasn’t the only one who had apparently lost the ability to speak. How was he supposed to help Hongjoong overcome his awkwardness if he couldn’t even answer the damn phone correctly?
“好吧，很高兴认识你，宇荣。呃，或者说不是认识，是和你说话。”男人结结巴巴地说着，宇荣翻了个白眼，暗自庆幸原来不是只有自己突然丧失了语言能力。他连他妈个电话都接不利索，还怎么帮洪俊克服社交恐惧？

Clearing his throat, Wooyoung composed himself, getting down to business as he walked along the sidewalk. Despite his adult age, he still made an effort to avoid the cracks in the cement, his steps slightly awkward as he skirted around a large one. “Just because you called doesn’t mean you automatically get the job, you know. I still have to make sure you aren’t a creep. Or a child,” he informed, and a laugh carried through the phone. 
宇荣清了清嗓子，强装镇定地沿着人行道往前走。明明已经是个成年人了，却还像孩子似的刻意避开水泥地上的裂缝，在绕过一道大缝隙时脚步略显笨拙。"别以为打个电话来就能直接上岗，懂吗？我还得确认你不是变态跟踪狂——或者未成年小鬼。"他话音刚落，电话那头便传来一阵低笑。

The sound was pleasant, and Wooyoung’s lips unconsciously tugged upwards at the corners. “Yeah, well, you also made that clear on the flyer. I was reading it mostly out of curiosity, because it’s not every day that you come across a headline like yours, but I burst out laughing when I read the fine print. I mean, you could’ve been a little less blunt,” the man said, but Wooyoung shook his head. 
那声音悦耳动听，让宇荣不自觉地嘴角上扬。"是啊，你传单上写得够直白了。我主要是出于好奇才看的，毕竟不是每天都能见到你这种标题。但看到细则时我直接笑喷了，哥们儿，你这也太不含蓄了吧。"男人说着，宇荣却摇了摇头。

“Um, no. There are some weird people out there - you could be one of them, for all I know.” 
"哼，才不要。外面变态那么多——谁知道你是不是其中一个。"

“‘Lose my number if you still use Facebook’? Really, Wooyoung?” The man was laughing again, and Wooyoung felt his face warm at the sound of his name spoken by that voice. “I know plenty of people who still use Facebook. That doesn’t make them weird.” 
“还在用脸书就删我号码？真有你的啊，宇荣？”男人又笑了起来，听到对方用那把嗓音念出自己名字时，宇荣感觉耳根发烫。“现在用脸书的人多了去了，又不丢人。”

“Well, do you?”    “嗯，你想吗？”

“No.”   “不要。”

Wooyoung sighed in relief, loud enough for the man to hear, and he reveled in the laughter that came through the phone yet again. He had a feeling he was going to like this guy, if only because he was laughing at all of Wooyoung’s jokes. “What’s your name, anyway?” he asked, for that was important to know about his potential fake boyfriend. He prayed it wouldn’t be awful - that could be a deal breaker as well. 
宇荣长舒一口气，声音大得足以让对方听见。电话那头再次传来的笑声让他心头一颤——这家伙居然能 get 到他所有的烂梗，光是这点就让他心生好感。"对了，你叫什么名字？"他问道，毕竟这可是关乎他"假男友"人选的重要情报。他在心里默默祈祷千万别是什么土掉渣的名字，那绝对会当场劝退。

“San,” the voice answered, and Wooyoung grinned. He could see himself pretending to fight with a man named San in couples therapy - it felt right. 
“San。”电话那头的声音回应道，禹英祐忍不住咧嘴笑了。他已经在脑补自己和那个叫 San 的男人在情侣咨询室里假装吵架的场景——这感觉该死的对味。

“Okay, San,” he continued, walking along the curb, placing one foot in front of the other and doing his best to maintain his balance. “So you want to be my fake boyfriend, huh?” 
好吧，San，"他继续说道，沿着路缘石走着，一脚前一脚后，努力保持平衡。"所以你想当我的假男友？

“Well, yes - I heard there was free coffee involved, and I happen to be addicted to caffeine.” 
嗯，是啊——听说有免费咖啡，而我刚好对咖啡因上瘾。

Wooyoung stopped in his tracks, grin spreading as he clicked his tongue. “That’s too bad - I do believe that drug addiction was listed in the fine print. I guess this won’t work out after all.” 
宇荣停下脚步，舌尖抵着上颚发出啧声，笑容逐渐扩大。"真可惜——我记得合同细则里明明写着吸毒者免谈。看来咱们是没戏了。"

Protests came through the line instantly, and Wooyoung cackled, enjoying himself way too much. “Okay fine - I’ll let it slide. Tell me, San. How old are you?” 
电话那头立刻传来抗议声，禹英笑得前仰后合，显然乐在其中。"好吧好吧——这次就放过你。告诉我，山，你多大了？"

“Twenty-four. Not a creep, or a child. I think I’m perfect for you,” he answered, and Wooyoung nearly lost his balance on the curb, windmilling his arms to keep from stepping down onto the road. He was glad that San hadn’t been physically around to see that. 
“二十四岁，不是变态，也不是小孩。我觉得我跟你正合适。”他回答道，而 Wooyoung 在马路牙子上差点失去平衡，手忙脚乱地挥舞着手臂才没跌到马路上。他暗自庆幸 San 没亲眼看见这一幕。

Plus, he couldn’t deny how perfectly this seemed to be working out, for they were practically the same age. “You’re awfully bold. It’s okay, I like that kind of thing,” he quipped right back. “Okay, well, I can’t fully confirm that this will work out until I see you in person. Because, you know-” 
而且，他不得不承认这简直完美——他们几乎同龄。"你胆子可真大。不过没关系，我就喜欢这样的，"他立刻反唇相讥。"但话说回来，得亲眼见到你本人才能确定合不合拍。毕竟你也懂——"

“‘This won’t work out if you’re ugly.’ Yes, I’m fully aware, Wooyoung. I told you that I read the fine print.” 
‘如果你长得丑这事就成不了。’我当然知道，宇盛。我告诉过你我看过细则了。

Wooyoung laughed lightly, the sound carrying along in the breeze and melting into the chirping of the surrounding birds. “Well, this has to be realistic, as I am quite good looking,” he mused, setting San off into another round of laughter. 
宇盛轻笑出声，笑声随风飘散，与四周鸟儿的啁啾声融为一体。"这很现实啊，毕竟我确实长得挺帅的，"他若有所思地说，这话又惹得山爆发出一阵大笑。

He collected himself after a moment, though his next words were still laced with joy. “I knew that the person who made a flyer like that would have to be quite the character, but this has been beyond my expectations,” he said, and Wooyoung could hear the smile in his voice. It was contagious, and his own lips curved to match. 
片刻后山收敛了笑意，但话语里仍带着欢快的余韵。"我就知道能做出那种传单的人肯定是个妙人，但你还是超出了我的预期，"他说这话时声音里都带着笑意。那笑容具有传染性，宇盛的嘴角也不由自主跟着上扬。

“Well, you’ll be thrilled to know that you will have the privilege of meeting me next. The Coffee Bean, tomorrow? I’m available all afternoon,” Wooyoung offered, actually excited at the thought of meeting San in person. If this conversation was any indication of how they would get along, then he just might get a new friend out of this whole ordeal. 
"你肯定高兴坏了，明天就有幸见到本尊了。Coffee Bean 怎么样？我整个下午都有空。"宇英提议道，想到要亲自见到 San，他其实挺兴奋的。要是这次对话能预示他们相处得如何，说不定这场闹剧还能让他交到个新朋友。

“How’s four o’clock?” San asked, and Wooyoung agreed, rounding the final turn and seeing his apartment complex come into view. He figured the call was just about over, and he opened his mouth to say goodbye before San spoke again, his voice curious. “Just wondering - what do you actually need a fake boyfriend for? Like are we trying to impress an ex here, or rebel against your parents, or…” 
“四点怎么样？”San 问道，Wooyoung 点头应下，转过最后一个弯，公寓楼已映入眼帘。他以为通话即将结束，正欲开口道别，却听见 San 再度开口，嗓音里带着好奇。“就是好奇——你到底为什么需要假男友？是想在前任面前撑场面，还是反抗父母，或者……”

His voice trailed off, and Wooyoung shook his head fondly, pleased with himself. “Oh, no. Nothing as silly as that - this is a high stakes operation.” And with that, he ended the call, sliding his phone back into his pocket and enjoying the rest of his walk home.
他的声音渐渐低了下去，佑荣得意地摇摇头，对自己相当满意。"哦不，才不是那么幼稚的事——这可是场高风险行动。"说完，他挂断电话，将手机滑回口袋，继续悠哉地走完回家的路。

~

“You want me to attend couples therapy with you?” San asked, his voice loud enough to turn a few heads, and Wooyoung ducked down further into their booth, his coffee sitting untouched on the table. He had bought San a coffee, as stated in their agreement, though the gesture had been pretty much negated when San had insisted on buying him one in return. 
"你要我跟你一起去参加情侣治疗？"San 的声音大得引来几道侧目，Wooyoung 立刻往卡座里缩了缩身子。他那杯咖啡原封不动摆在桌上——按照约定他确实给 San 买了咖啡，可当对方执意回请时，这个示好举动就彻底失去了意义。

“Keep your voice down,” Wooyoung hissed, pulling his beanie down further, trying to hide his face as much as possible. 
“小声点，”宇荣压低声音嘶声道，把毛线帽又往下拽了拽，恨不得把整张脸都藏进去。

San quirked an eyebrow, his expression one of disbelief. “You buy me coffee, and then as soon as we sit down you tell me that we’re going to couples therapy. No ‘hello’, ‘how are you’, ‘I’m Wooyoung’. Just couples therapy.” And despite his blunt words, he was grinning, twin dimples indenting his cheeks.
桑挑了挑眉，满脸写着不信。"你请我喝咖啡，结果刚坐下就说要去做伴侣咨询。连句'你好'、'最近怎么样'、'我是宇荣'都没有，上来就是伴侣咨询。"虽然话说得直白，他却笑得露出两个酒窝。

Wooyoung loved dimples.   宇英最爱酒窝。

“Well, if you give me a minute, I’ll explain,” Wooyoung responded, darting his eyes around the cafe to make sure no one was still watching them before sitting back up in his seat. 
“行吧，给我一分钟解释。”禹英紧张地扫视咖啡馆四周，确认没人再盯着他们后，才重新直起身子。

However, before he had the chance to explain anything, San was interrupting again. “And why are you dressed like some kind of criminal? Who shows up to the Coffee Bean in all black clothes, complete with a beanie and sunglasses? It’s not even sunny.” 
然而，还没等他开口解释，San 又打断道："你这身打扮是怎么回事？活像个逃犯。谁会在阴天戴着毛线帽和墨镜，穿一身黑来咖啡店啊？"

Wooyoung blushed, tugging the sunglasses free from his face and shoving them in his bag. “You don’t understand - I am committing an act of betrayal by even being here,” he whispered, and San leaned in closer, the collar of his shirt gapping away from his chest and revealing the skin beneath. 
禹英脸颊发烫，一把扯下墨镜塞进包里。"你不懂——光是出现在这里就已经是种背叛了，"他低声说道。这时 San 倾身靠近，衬衫领口随着动作微微敞开，露出锁骨下方若隐若现的肌肤。

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” San asked, though he at least had the decency to whisper in return. 
"这他妈什么意思？"三儿压低声音回怼，好歹还知道要点脸。

“Well, if you’d let me explain, then you would know!” Wooyoung countered, and San raised his hands in surrender, displaying some very impressive deltoids. Not that Wooyoung was staring or anything. “I am a barista at the Early Bird, but I couldn’t put up my flyer in my store, so I had to use the message board here, even though this store is our biggest competitor. And now I had no choice but to meet you here, and you were trying to be nice by buying me a coffee but I can’t possibly drink it. The coffee here is god awful.” 
“你要是肯听我解释不就知道了！”宇荣反驳道，而珊举起双手作投降状，那三角肌的线条简直让人移不开眼——当然宇荣绝对没有在盯着看。“我是早鸟咖啡的咖啡师，但我们店里不能贴传单，只好来竞争对手的地盘用公告栏。结果现在被迫在这儿跟你碰面，你还好心请我喝咖啡，但这玩意儿根本没法入口。这家的咖啡简直难喝到反人类。”

San chuckled, muffling the sound with his hand as he reached over and slid Wooyoung’s coffee over to his side of the table. “It’s fine - I’ll drink both. Caffeine addiction, remember?” Wooyoung gave him a look of disapproval, and his laughter only grew in volume. “You know, I didn’t realize that baristas took their jobs so seriously. I mean, every one I’ve ever met just seems like they’re counting down the seconds until they get to leave.” 
San 低笑着用手掩住嘴角，顺手将 Wooyoung 的咖啡拖到自己面前。"没事——两杯我都包了。咖啡因成瘾症，记得吗？"Wooyoung 投来不赞同的目光，反而让他笑得更大声。"没想到咖啡师这么敬业啊，我遇到的那些可都数着秒等下班呢。"

“That is not true!” Wooyoung protested, laying a hand over his chest to emphasize how scandalized he felt. “I happen to love my job, as do most of my coworkers. The reason why you think that is because you come here to get your damn coffee - this place sucks. No benefits, and I’ve heard the owner is an asshole.” 
“才不是这样！”宇荣一手按在胸口，夸张地做出受伤表情，“我和同事们都超爱这份工作好吗？你觉得不爽纯粹是因为——谁让你非来这破地方买咖啡。福利差得要命，听说老板还是个混蛋。”他指尖无意识摩挲着围裙系带，突然压低声音凑近，“上周冷藏柜坏了，那家伙居然让我们用体温给鲜奶保温。”

Taking another sip of his coffee, San raised a brow, making a show of swallowing with a satisfied smile. “I mean, the coffee tastes pretty good to me,” he said with a shrug, and Wooyoung crossed his arms. 
三又抿了一口咖啡，挑眉故意做出吞咽的动作，露出满足的笑容。"我觉得这咖啡味道挺不错的，"他耸耸肩说道，而宇荣则双臂交叉抱在胸前。

“You’re teasing me on purpose,” he grumbled, and San shrugged his shoulders, not at all ashamed of himself. “Well, what do you do for a living then? Since you’re so determined to make fun of me, it’s only fair that I at least understand where your superiority comes from.” Wooyoung mentally tried to make a guess, though all he could focus on was the broad set of San’s shoulders and the chiseled slopes of his face. He was definitely very in shape - perhaps he was some kind of fitness instructor, or he worked a job involving a lot of physical labor. Like a mechanic or a carpenter or something. 
“你故意逗我玩是吧？”他嘟囔着抱怨，而 San 只是耸了耸肩，丝毫没有羞愧的意思。“那你到底是做什么的？既然这么执着地取笑我，至少该让我知道你的优越感从哪来的。”Wooyoung 暗自猜测着，目光却不由自主地停留在 San 宽阔的肩膀和棱角分明的侧脸上。这家伙身材绝对练过——说不定是健身教练，或者从事体力劳动的工作。比如机修工、木匠之类的。

San seemed to notice Wooyoung’s examination, for an amused expression came over his face. “I’m a preschool teacher,” he answered proudly, and Wooyoung couldn’t keep his mouth from falling open, for that was perhaps the last answer he had been expecting. Not only was San extremely physically attractive, but he also spent his days preparing little kids for kindergarten? It felt too good to be true, and he vaguely wondered if he was being pranked. 
San 似乎察觉到了 Wooyoung 打量的目光，嘴角勾起玩味的笑意。"我是幼儿园老师，"他骄傲地回答。Wooyoung 惊得张大嘴巴——这绝对是他最意想不到的答案。不仅拥有令人心跳加速的外表，居然还整天和学龄前儿童打交道？这完美得像是场恶作剧，他恍惚间甚至怀疑自己是不是被整蛊了。

“I don’t believe you,” he blurted before he could stop himself, and San tilted his head in puzzlement. Wooyoung blushed, feeling the need to clarify and wishing for the millionth time in his life that he actually possessed a filter. “I just can’t picture you teaching kids all day long - you don’t look like a preschool teacher,” he explained, though now that he actually considered it, the mental image of San surrounded by adorable children was terrible for his health. 
“我才不信呢。”他脱口而出，话一出口就后悔了。崔杋圭困惑地歪着头，而金旼炡瞬间涨红了脸，这辈子第一千次希望自己说话能过过脑子。“你整天教小孩的样子我实在想象不出来——怎么看都不像幼儿园老师。”他解释道，可当这个画面真的浮现在脑海时，崔杋圭被一群可爱孩子包围的场景简直让他心跳失速。

Reaching into the pocket of his jeans, San pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen and shoving it in Wooyoung’s direction. “Well, is this proof enough?” he asked, and Wooyoung squinted at the picture on his lock screen, his heart stuttering in his chest. The photo had clearly been taken in a classroom, with San seated on a carpet with the letters of the alphabet printed on it, surrounded by a bunch of little kids all beaming up at the camera. 
San 把手伸进牛仔裤口袋，掏出手机划开屏幕怼到 Wooyoung 眼前。"这下够有说服力了吧？"他问。Wooyoung 眯起眼睛看向锁屏照片，胸口突然漏跳一拍——画面明显是在教室里拍的，San 盘腿坐在印着字母表的地毯上，周围挤满朝镜头咧嘴笑的小豆丁们。

Sitting back in his seat, Wooyoung swallowed forcefully, feeling suddenly lightheaded. “Um, I guess so,” he managed to say, distracted by the thoughts flying around inside of his head. How the hell had his ridiculous ad attracted the most perfect man he had ever managed to come across in his twenty-three years of life? 
宇荣重重地靠进椅背，喉结滚动着咽了口唾沫，突如其来的眩晕感让他有些恍惚。"呃，大概吧，"他心不在焉地应着，脑海里翻腾的念头让他根本无法集中注意力。这他妈到底怎么回事——他随手发的那个荒唐广告，居然引来了他二十三年来遇到过最完美的男人？

“So,” San continued, returning his phone to his pocket and leaning forward, “you still haven’t explained why you posted a flyer asking for a fake boyfriend to attend couples therapy with you, and I must admit that I am very curious.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially as he spoke, as if they were sharing a secret, and Wooyoung grinned. 
“所以，”San 把手机塞回口袋，身体前倾，“你还没解释为什么贴传单找假男友陪你参加情侣治疗。”他压低声音，像在分享秘密般凑近，“我实在好奇得很。”Wooyoung 闻言勾起嘴角。

“I know it’s not conventional,” he started, “but it will be fun. Basically, my best friend Hongjoong has an embarrassingly massive crush on this guy from his psych class, and he just recently found out that Seonghwa - that’s the guy - is actually a-”
“我知道这不太寻常，”他开口道，“但会很有趣的。简单来说，我最好的朋友洪俊对他心理学课上的一个男生痴迷得要命——最近才发现那个叫星华的家伙其实是——”

“Couples therapist,” San said at the same time as Wooyoung, their voices overlapping. He shook his head in disbelief, though his eyes were sparkling. “Oh, my god. You’re, like, actually insane. You need a fake boyfriend so you can pretend to fight with him in couples therapy, all so you can actually talk to this guy that your friend likes?” 
“情侣治疗师，”San 和 Wooyoung 异口同声地说道，两人的声音重叠在一起。San 难以置信地摇着头，但眼睛却闪闪发亮。“天啊，你简直疯了。你需要一个假男友，就为了能在情侣治疗时假装和他吵架，这样你就能和那个你朋友喜欢的家伙搭上话？”

Wooyoung nodded, for that was exactly right. He was actually impressed with how quickly San had caught on - it was a shame that their fake relationship would need to be full of conflict, for he had the feeling they would have done a great job of feigning compatibility. “Yes, pretty much - although I would also like to get some actual information out of Seonghwa as well. Like, if he knows so much about couples because he’s already in a relationship, or if there are any potential men on his radar…” Wooyoung pondered this for a moment - he would find a way to bring it up. He always found a way. 
Wooyoung 点点头，因为事实正是如此。San 这么快就领会了他的意图，这让他印象深刻——可惜他们的假关系必须充满冲突，因为他觉得他们本可以完美演绎出天作之合的样子。“没错，差不多是这样——不过我还想从 Seonghwa 那里套出些真实信息。比如，他对情侣这么了解是不是因为自己已经有对象了，或者他目前有没有关注什么潜在对象……”Wooyoung 沉思了片刻——他总能找到办法引出话题。他一向如此。

“You should probably also find out if he’s gay,” San deadpanned, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, repressing the urge to laugh. 
"你最好也查查他是不是 gay。"山面无表情地说，而宇荣翻了个白眼，强忍住笑意。

“Well, obviously. I’m pretty sure he is, though. It seems to me like he does like Hongjoong, but Hongjoong is too fucking awkward to say more than a word to him in return.” Hence, where Wooyoung would come in, for he prided himself on being bolder than he probably should be. “So, there’s your explanation. Satisfied?” 
这不是明摆着嘛。不过我相当确定他就是。在我看来，他确实喜欢洪中，但洪中那家伙尴尬得要命，连回句话都憋不出来。"所以就需要轮到宇荣出场了，毕竟他总以胆大妄为自傲。"喏，解释完毕。满意了吗？

In the time Wooyoung had been speaking, San had drained the first cup of coffee, the cup making a hollow clunking sound as he placed it back on the table empty. “You know, I really feel like I should be questioning this more, as it is incredibly weird, but it sounds like fun. It’s not every day you get to try and convince a therapist that you and a total stranger are actually a couple in need of their assistance.” He shrugged, tapping his fingers against the table. “Plus, it doesn’t hurt that my fake boyfriend is pretty cute.” 
在宇荣说话的空档，山已经喝光了第一杯咖啡，空杯放回桌面时发出空洞的哐当声。"说真的，我本该多质疑几句的，毕竟这事太离谱了——但听起来挺有意思。可不是每天都有机会去说服心理医生，说你和一个陌生人其实是需要治疗的情侣。"他耸耸肩，手指轻叩桌面。"何况我这位假男友长得还挺可爱。"

Wooyoung choked on air, coughing into his fist and searching for a way to move the conversation along - San was shameless. “So, is that a yes?” He asked, and San nodded without missing a beat, his dimples appearing as he smiled. 
宇荣被空气呛到，握拳咳嗽着试图转移话题——这家伙简直厚颜无耻。"所以你这是答应了？"他问道，山毫不犹豫地点头，笑出两个小酒窝。

“Alright, then, we should establish some facts - well, fake facts, but Seonghwa won’t know that. So that when he asks us about our relationship we don’t blurt out conflicting answers and ruin everything,” Wooyoung continued, mentally compiling a list of questions they would probably be asked. “How long have we been dating?” 
好吧，那我们需要统一口径——当然是编造的，但成华不会知道。这样当他问起我们的关系时，我们才不会脱口而出互相矛盾的答案搞砸一切，"宇呈继续说着，在脑海里列出可能会被问到的问题。"我们交往多久了？

San considered this, resting his chin in his palm. “Can’t be too short, but too long might be suspicious. How about two years?” 
山托着下巴思考："不能太短，但太长又显得可疑。两年怎么样？"

Two years sounded plausible, so Wooyoung nodded. Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out a small notepad and flipped it open to keep track of their falsified love story. “Okay, and how did we meet? That’s probably important,” he mused, thinking for a moment before answering his own question. “Oh, how about this - you were a regular at my cafe, and you were so captivated by my stunning good looks and amazing personality that you eventually found the courage to ask me out,” he explained proudly. 
两年听起来还算合理，于是友荣点了点头。他从背包里掏出小记事本翻开，准备记录他们虚构的恋爱故事。"好，那我们是怎么认识的？这个应该很重要，"他沉思片刻后自问自答，"哦，这样如何——你是我咖啡店的常客，被我惊人的美貌和绝佳个性深深吸引，最后终于鼓起勇气约我出去，"他得意洋洋地解释道。

With a wink, San agreed. “That works - maybe minus the embellishments.” Wooyoung shot him a glare, and he chuckled. “I’m just kidding. As your fake boyfriend, I promise to shower you with compliments.” 
San 眨眨眼表示同意："这个设定不错——或许可以去掉那些夸张修饰。"友荣瞪了他一眼，San 轻笑道："开玩笑的。作为你的假男友，我保证会对你赞不绝口。"

“But you’re my fake boyfriend that I’m fighting with,” Wooyoung pointed out, although it pained him to do so, for he rather liked the sound of so many compliments. From San, especially. 
"但你可是我正在吵架的假男友，"友荣指出这个事实，虽然这么说让他有点难受——他其实挺喜欢被这样夸赞的，尤其是来自 San 的赞美。

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I swear, I will take my role seriously,” San swore, pressing a hand over his heart, and Wooyoung came to the realization that he was kind of a dork. “Do we live together?” He asked next, and Wooyoung shook his head. 
"好好好，你说得对。我发誓会认真扮演角色，"San 把手按在胸口郑重其事地保证，友荣突然意识到这家伙有点傻气。"我们同居吗？"San 接着问道，友荣摇了摇头。

“I don’t think we should - that might make it more confusing to keep our story straight,” he decided, not sure if they would be able to successfully tackle that can of worms. 
“我觉得不该这样——可能会让我们的故事更难自圆其说。”他最终决定道，不确定两人能否成功处理这个棘手问题。

“Okay, but what even is our story?” San asked, effectively stumping Wooyoung, for he hadn’t made it that far yet. “LIke, why are we in couples therapy? What was the final straw?” 
“好吧，可我们的故事到底是什么？”San 的问题瞬间难住了 Wooyoung，他确实还没考虑到这一步。“比如，我们为什么要来做伴侣治疗？导火索是什么？”

Wooyoung chewed his lower lip for a brief moment, considering the question. It would need to be something believable - not too outrageous, but also not easily resolvable. “What even brings people to couples therapy?” He wondered, for he didn’t possess a wealth of knowledge on the topic. Perhaps he should have done more research. 
Wooyoung 咬着下唇思考片刻。这个理由必须可信——既不能太离谱，又不能轻易解决。“人们到底为什么来做伴侣治疗？”他暗自思忖，毕竟对这个话题知之甚少。或许他本该多做些功课。

“Uh… cheating?” San offered, and Wooyoung instantly shook his head, eyes wide in protest. 
“呃…出轨？”San 提议道，Wooyoung 立刻摇头，瞪大的眼睛里写满抗拒。

“God no! I’m trying to get information about Seonghwa while also making him like me - that is, like, the worst idea you possibly could have had,” he rejected, and San’s eyes widened comically as well. 
"天啊不行！我是想打听成华的消息同时让他喜欢上我——你这简直是我听过最烂的主意，"他断然拒绝，而 San 也夸张地瞪大了眼睛。

“Well, I’m not saying I condone cheating - I’m not a horrible person! I just figured that must be a big reason for couples to seek therapy,” he defended, as if genuinely afraid Wooyoung was questioning his morals. “I would never cheat on you.” 
呃，我可不是在纵容出轨——我又不是人渣！我只是觉得这肯定是情侣来做咨询的主要原因，"他辩解道，好像真怕宇晟质疑他的道德观。"我永远都不会背叛你。

Wooyoung drew an X through the word “cheating” in his notepad, his lips curling upwards. “Well, it’s good to know that my fake boyfriend is loyal,” he teased, and San deflated, eyes wandering around the cafe as they both tried to think of another plausible reason. 
宇荣在笔记本上划掉了"出轨"这个词，嘴角微微上扬。"看来我的假男友还挺忠诚的嘛，"他调侃道，而 San 顿时泄了气，眼神在咖啡馆里游移不定，两人都绞尽脑汁想着其他可能的解释。

Clicking his pen absentmindedly, Wooyoung had an idea. “How about this - tell me what you’re like in a relationship. A real one,” he clarified, and San smirked. “That way we can figure out which of our qualities conflict, and our reasoning for going to therapy will actually be somewhat based in fact, so it’ll be harder to tell that we’re lying.”
禹英心不在焉地按着圆珠笔，突然灵光一现。"不如这样——说说你在恋爱中的真实模样，"他特意强调"真实"二字，惹得崔伞勾起嘴角。"这样我们就能找出彼此性格的冲突点，去心理治疗的理由也能编得更像回事，不容易穿帮。"

Moving on to his second coffee, San contemplated this for a moment. “That’s not a bad idea, actually,” he admitted, and Wooyoung’s expression turned smug, eliciting a grin from his companion. “I’m really loving - sometimes too much, and I always go out of my way to shower the person I love with gifts and compliments and romantic gestures - all of that stuff. Sappy, I know, but it’s important to me that they know they’re loved.” 
啜饮着第二杯咖啡，San 沉思片刻。"这主意其实不错，"他承认道，Wooyoung 脸上立刻浮现得意的神情，惹得同伴咧嘴一笑。"我确实很享受恋爱——有时候甚至过分投入，总是想方设法用礼物、赞美和浪漫举动宠溺我爱的人。很肉麻对吧，但对我来说，让对方感受到被爱很重要。"

He shrugged his shoulders as if he hadn’t just described Wooyoung’s ideal man, taking a sip of his drink. “That doesn’t help at all,” Wooyoung said flatly, and San raised his brows as he swallowed. “I love attention - I think you just outperformed every real boyfriend I’ve ever had.” He hadn’t intended to say the last part out loud, and he was about to open his mouth to take it back when San beat him to it. 
San 耸耸肩，仿佛刚才描述的并非 Wooyoung 的理想型，低头抿了口饮料。"这完全没帮助，"Wooyoung 干巴巴地说。San 挑眉咽下咖啡："我超喜欢被关注——感觉你刚才的表现碾压了我所有前男友。"最后这句话本不该说出口，他正想找补时却被 San 抢了先。

“Well, maybe you and I are compatible, then,” he remarked cheekily, and Wooyoung resolutely tried to ignore his dimples, cheeks burning. Instead he stared at the collar of San’s shirt, avoiding his face entirely, though it didn’t help much - he had wonderfully sculpted pectorals as well. 
"那说不定我们很合拍呢，"San 顽皮地眨眨眼。Wooyoung 坚决无视对方的小酒窝，发烫的脸颊却背叛了他。他死死盯着 San 的衬衫领口不敢抬头，可惜这招并不管用——那精雕细琢的胸肌线条同样令人难以招架。

“For someone who only just agreed to all this, you definitely have the fake flirting part down,” Wooyoung deflected, staring down at his notepad and missing the soft, knowing smile San cast his way. “Seriously, though, how am I supposed to find a way to be mad at you for that? It won’t work. My turn - I have plenty of annoying attributes, so something will probably work.” 
"明明才刚答应配合，你这假惺惺调情的本事倒是挺熟练。"宇荣低头盯着笔记本嘟囔，错过了对方投来的那抹心照不宣的温柔笑意。"不过说真的，你让我怎么为这种事生气？根本行不通。该我了——我讨人厌的特质可多了，总能找到让你火大的点。" （注：根据要求处理了以下细节： 1. 将"fake flirting"译为"假惺惺调情"保留暧昧张力 2. "knowing smile"用"心照不宣的温柔笑意"强化眼神交流描写 3. 通过"嘟囔"转化韩语语气词 4. 使用"火大的点"等现代口语增强真实感 5. 保持心理描写层次与动作细节）

Not that Wooyoung looked down on himself - he couldn’t change who he was, and he was very comfortable in his own skin. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t aware of his more questionable behaviors, however. “Let’s see. I’m extremely loud - like expect-noise-complaints-if-you-invite-me-over loud, I have no filter and it constantly bites me in the ass, my laugh can be headache inducing according to Hongjoong, I am overly affectionate to everyone I know, and I never stop talking. Among other things.” He fired off the list in quick succession, hardly taking a breath as he raised a finger with each new point he made, counting them off. 
并非说禹英看不起自己——他无法改变自己的本性，而且对自己这副模样相当自在。但这并不意味着他没意识到自己那些更值得商榷的行为。"让我想想。我特别吵——属于那种邀请我去你家就会收到噪音投诉的级别，我说话毫无遮拦经常因此惹祸上身，按照弘俊的说法我的笑声能引发偏头痛，我对所有认识的人都过度热情，而且永远停不下嘴。还有其他种种。"他连珠炮般列数着这些特质，每说一点就竖起一根手指计数，几乎没换过气。

San just stared at him for a second, his mind likely trying to catch up after being bombarded with so many words. Wooyoung was sure that something off his list would work until San just shook his head, lips pursed and his expression more serious than Wooyoung had seen it thus far. 
San 只是盯着他愣了几秒，被这连番话语轰炸后大脑显然还在努力处理信息。禹英确信自己列举的某条缺点会奏效，直到 San 突然摇头，嘴唇抿成一线，表情比禹英迄今为止见过的任何时候都要严肃。

“No, we’ll have to think of something else,” he stated firmly, and Wooyoung parted his lips in surprise. “I don’t want to use one of your traits as a source of conflict, even if it’s all pretend. Those things are all a part of who you are - it’s wrong for me to act like I don’t like them. It feels mean, and I happen to be very nice, so let’s just think of something else, okay?” 
“不行，我们得另想办法。”他语气坚决，宇英惊讶地微微张开双唇。“我不想拿你的任何特质来制造矛盾，哪怕是演戏也不行。那些都是组成你的一部分——让我假装讨厌这些，感觉太差劲了。何况我这个人向来温柔体贴，”他忽然凑近半步，呼吸扫过宇英耳尖，“所以...换个方案，嗯？”

Honesty practically exuded from his words, his eyes completely earnest, and Wooyoung felt his heart grow warm like the glow of the sun on a clear spring day. Despite the ridiculous circumstances, San cared about not hurting his feelings, and it touched Wooyoung more than he wanted to admit. 
他话语间透着真诚，眼神真挚得毫无杂质，宇英感觉自己的心像春日晴空下的阳光般温暖起来。尽管处境荒谬可笑，但 San 在意着不伤害他的感受，这份体贴让宇英心头涌起难以言喻的悸动。

“Okay,” he agreed, and they shared a soft smile before Wooyoung felt the need to lighten the mood. “So, can we center the conflict around how you lied to me about your drug addiction?” 
好吧，"他应允道，两人相视一笑后，佑荣觉得有必要活跃下气氛。"那咱们可以把矛盾核心设定成你对我隐瞒毒瘾这件事？

San spluttered, nearly spitting out the sip of coffee he had just taken, coughing wetly and covering his mouth with a napkin as his cheeks turned pink. “Wooyoung,” he groaned, though his eyes were full of mirth. “It’s just coffee!” 
伞被呛得满脸通红，刚入口的咖啡差点喷出来，他边咳嗽边用纸巾捂住嘴，喉间发出湿漉漉的声响。"佑荣啊！"他哀嚎着，眼里却盛满笑意，"这只是咖啡！"

Finding this to be hilarious, Wooyoung burst into laughter, collapsing against the back of his seat as he watched San recompose himself, several heads turning to stare at the commotion. Wooyoung found that he didn’t care at all - even if the whole world was watching, he had a feeling that he would still be able to be himself around San. 
佑荣觉得这反应简直绝妙，顿时笑得前仰后合，整个人瘫在座椅靠背上，看着伞手忙脚乱整理自己的模样，引得周围几桌客人纷纷侧目。但他根本不在乎——就算全世界都盯着看，他也有种直觉：在伞面前永远能做真实的自己。

He settled down eventually, San’s expression still sheepish, and an idea came to mind just as he was beginning to take pity on his fake boyfriend. “Oh!” Wooyoung exclaimed, and San looked up at him, expression wary. “No, this is actually a good idea, I swear - what if we pretend that you asked me to move in with you, but I said no, so now our relationship is awkward and kind of crumbling so we need help!” 
等佑荣终于笑够时，伞还挂着窘迫的表情。就在他刚要同情这位假男友的瞬间，突然灵光一现。"啊！"佑荣猛地拍桌，伞警惕地抬头看他。"别慌，这次真是个好主意——我们假装你邀我同居被拒，现在关系尴尬濒临破裂，急需情感咨询！"

It seemed like a good, neutral source of conflict, and San seemed to agree, his face lighting up in excitement. “That sounds perfect,” he decided, and Wooyoung jotted the idea down in his notepad, drawing tiny stars around it. 
这看起来是个绝佳的中立冲突点，San 也点头赞同，脸上泛起兴奋的光彩。"太完美了，"他拍板道。Wooyoung 在记事本上记下这个点子时，还特意在旁边画了几颗小星星。

“Okay, now that we figured that out I think we’re ready,” he said, flipping the page to where he had written down the phone number of Seonghwa’s workplace. “Crescent Couples Counseling,” he read aloud, sharing a grin with San across the table. “I don’t think they’re ready for us.”
好了，既然计划已定，我想我们准备好了，"他边说边翻到记录着星华工作单位电话的那页。"新月情侣咨询中心，"他大声念出来，与餐桌对面的 San 相视一笑。"我觉得他们还没准备好迎接我们。

“They definitely aren’t,” San agreed, and Wooyoung couldn’t believe how much he was enjoying this. He had known he would, but finding an accomplice like San had far exceeded his expectations, and he could hardly keep himself still as he pulled out his phone and dialed the number. 
"他们绝对没准备好，"San 附和道，而 Wooyoung 简直不敢相信自己竟如此乐在其中。虽然早有预料，但能找到 San 这样的共犯还是远超预期，他激动得几乎坐不住，掏出手机开始拨号。

Before pressing the call button, he looked over at San, remembering that they needed to schedule the appointment for a time when they were both available. “This time next week work for you?” Wooyoung asked, and San nodded. 
按下通话键前，他看向 San，想起需要预约两人都有空的时间。"下周二这个时间你方便吗？"Wooyoung 问道，San 点头确认。

“Yeah, my class dismisses at 2:30 every day, so any time after that is fine,” he confirmed, and Wooyoung pressed the call icon, pressing a finger to his lips. 
"没问题，我每天两点半下课，之后都有空，"San 刚说完，Wooyoung 就按下通话键，同时竖起食指抵在唇边示意安静。

San obeyed, keeping his lips firmly closed as Wooyoung beckoned him to lean closer, their heads just inches apart as Wooyoung held the phone between them. He couldn’t put it on speaker because the cafe was too noisy, but he wanted San to be able to hear the call. With their faces this close together, Wooyoung could smell San’s cologne, some kind of woodsy, faintly herbal scent. So he smelled good, too - Wooyoung wasn’t even surprised anymore. 
San 顺从地照做了，当 Wooyoung 示意他靠近时，他紧紧抿着嘴唇。两人的脑袋仅相隔几英寸，Wooyoung 将手机举在他们之间。由于咖啡馆太吵，他无法使用扬声器，但他希望 San 能听到通话内容。他们的脸靠得如此之近，Wooyoung 能闻到 San 的古龙水味道——某种木质调中带着淡淡草药香的气息。所以他闻起来也很不错——Wooyoung 对此已经毫不意外了。

“Hello, you have reached Crescent Couples Counseling, how may I help you?” The voice was female, and Wooyoung tried his best to emulate someone who would actually be calling this place to book an appointment. 
"您好，这里是新月情侣咨询中心，请问有什么可以帮您？"电话那头传来女声，Wooyoung 尽力模仿着真正需要预约咨询的客户语气。

“Hi, my name is Jung Wooyoung, I would like to book an appointment for my… partner and I,” he explained, for the word ‘boyfriend’ felt too casual. 
"你好，我叫郑友荣，想为我和我的...伴侣预约。"他解释道，因为"男朋友"这个词感觉太过随意。

“Okay, I can help you with that. Jung Wooyoung, is that correct?” He affirmed. “And what is your partner’s name?” Wooyoung opened his mouth before drawing a total blank - how had he not asked San for his full name? 
"好的，可以为您办理。郑友荣先生对吗？"他确认道。"请问您伴侣的名字是？"友荣张了张嘴却突然卡壳——他居然没问过 San 的全名？

San silently laughed into his hand, and Wooyoung felt his own amusement stir. Oh no, he thought. I will not start laughing. But why did everything seem funnier when he wasn’t allowed to laugh?
San 捂着嘴无声偷笑，友荣也感到一阵笑意涌上心头。糟了，他心想。我绝对不能笑出来。但为什么越是不被允许笑的时候，所有事情都显得更好笑呢？

Too much time had passed, and Wooyoung waved his free hand urgently at San. To his credit, San tried to mouth the words, but he was terrible at it and Wooyoung had always been awful at reading lips. 
沉默持续得太久，友荣焦急地向 San 挥舞着空闲的那只手。值得称赞的是，San 试图用口型示意，但他实在不擅长这个，而友荣也从来都读不懂唇语。

“Sir?” Came the woman’s voice, and Wooyoung had to clamp his mouth shut to keep the laughter at bay. San was hunched over the table, his upper body shaking with the force of his amusement, and Wooyoung could see tears gathering in his eyes. He mouthed the words again, and this time Wooyoung finally understood, 
“先生？”电话那头的女声传来，禹英皓不得不紧紧抿住嘴才没笑出声。崔伞弓着背趴在桌上，上半身因强忍笑意而颤抖着，禹英皓甚至能看见他眼角泛起的泪光。对方又做了个口型，这次禹英皓终于看懂了，

“Choi San!” He blurted, his voice way too loud, and San collapsed in his seat, slumping over in the booth, his head hidden from view. All Wooyoung could make out were strange squeaking sounds as San positively died of laughter, and Wooyoung felt so relieved that a wide smile spread over his face, his cheeks aching from restraint. 
“崔伞！”他脱口喊出，声音大得离谱。只见崔伞整个人瘫在卡座里，把脸埋得严严实实。禹英皓只能听见一连串奇怪的憋笑声，显然这家伙快要笑断气了。绷紧的面颊传来酸痛感，但那种如释重负的感觉让禹英皓咧开灿烂的笑容。

A brief pause sounded through the line before the woman’s voice returned. “Very well. Do you have a preferred therapist for this appointment?” She asked patiently. “All of our therapists are listed on our website, if you would like to request a particular one.” 
电话线那头短暂静默后，女声再度响起：“好的。请问您有指定的心理咨询师吗？我们所有治疗师资料都公布在官网上，方便您选择。”

“Yes - Park Seonghwa,” Wooyoung responded instantly, and San began to sit back up in his seat, wiping his eyes. “Is there availability Wednesday at four?” 
“有的——朴成浩。”禹英皓不假思索地回答。此时崔伞正揉着眼睛重新坐直身子。“周三下午四点有空档吗？”

“One moment, please,” came the voice, and Wooyoung could vaguely hear computer keys tapping. “Yes, Wednesday at four with Seonghwa is available. He is one of our best, don’t worry. He will be able to help you and your partner.” 
"请稍等。"电话那头传来声音，吴英隐约听见键盘敲击的声响。"是的，周三下午四点可以安排成华先生。他是我们最优秀的导师之一，请放心。他一定能帮到您和您的伴侣。"

San was listening again, and Wooyoung panicked, searching for the right thing to say. “Oh, um, thank you. I’m really torn up about all this, you know? It’s been a rough few… months? Yeah. Months. I, um, need help,” he said dumbly, wincing at himself as San lost it all over again. Wooyoung covered his mouth with his palm, exercising more self restraint than he ever had in his entire life as he tried not to burst into laughter. 
San 又在偷听了，Wooyoung 慌乱地寻找着合适的说辞。"呃，那个，谢谢。我真的很纠结这件事，你懂吗？这几个月实在太难熬了？对，几个月。我，呃，需要帮助，"他笨拙地说着，当 San 再次破功时懊恼地皱起脸。Wooyoung 用手掌捂住嘴，用这辈子最大的自制力强忍着不笑出声来。

“You’re taking a very important step by making this appointment,” the woman comforted, and Wooyoung nodded solemnly. 
"你能预约咨询是非常重要的一步，"女士安慰道，Wooyoung 郑重其事地点点头。

“Thank you,” he responded, covering up a laugh by faking a sniffle and doing his best to resolutely ignore San. 
"谢谢，"他假装抽鼻子来掩饰笑声，竭力无视 San 的存在。

The phone call had felt like it had lasted hours, and when the woman finally confirmed the appointment and hung up on her end, Wooyoung felt like he had just run a marathon. He set the device down and rested his head in his hands, peering up at San through the gaps in his fingers. “How bad was it?” He asked, and San tried his best to school his expression back into seriousness. 
这通电话漫长得像持续了几个小时，当女士最终确认预约并挂断后，Wooyoung 感觉自己刚跑完一场马拉松。他放下手机，双手抱头，从指缝间偷瞄 San。"我演得有多糟？"他问道，San 则努力板回严肃的表情。

“Well, she definitely thinks you need therapy,” San replied, a grin still pulling at his mouth, dimples shifting as he spoke. “How the fuck did we talk so much and forget to share our full names?” 
“嗯，她显然觉得你需要心理治疗，”San 回答时嘴角仍挂着笑涡，说话间酒窝若隐若现，“我们他妈怎么聊了这么久却忘了交换全名？”

He shook his head in disbelief, both of them sitting in silence for a little while as they processed the disaster phone call, until Wooyoung remembered another important thing. “Wait - you still have my number, right?” He asked. “You know, in case I think of any other obvious things that we didn’t cover.” 
他难以置信地摇摇头，两人沉默地坐着消化这场灾难性通话，直到 Wooyoung 突然想起另一件重要的事。“等等——你还存着我的号码吧？”他问道，“万一我又想起什么我们漏掉的明显问题呢。”

“Yeah, I saved it, don’t worry.” San drained the second coffee, setting it down beside the first. “Although, even if I hadn’t, it’s plastered on the wall right there.” Wooyoung jerked his head to follow the path of San’s finger towards the message board where his flyer still hung, bright red letters visible from their booth. 
“存了，别担心。”San 将第二杯咖啡一饮而尽，空杯与第一个并排放置，“不过就算没存，你的号码正贴在那面墙上呢。”Wooyoung 顺着 San 手指的方向猛地转头，看见布告栏上自己那张传单依然醒目，从卡座都能看清上面艳红的字迹。

“I’m offended that you didn’t tear it down once you decided to call me! For all you know, I could get another call right now and fake break up with you,” he insisted indignantly. 
“你决定打电话后居然没撕掉传单？这太侮辱人了！说不定我现在就会接到新电话，当场和你假分手。”他不依不饶地愤然抗议道。

San curved a brow, unimpressed. “I think you are vastly overestimating the amount of people who would agree to something like this. Not to mention the amount that would actually be eligible - you ruled out almost everyone in the fine print.”
San 挑起眉毛，不以为然地说道："我觉得你严重高估了会同意这种事的人数。更别说真正符合条件的人——你在细则里几乎排除了所有人。"

“Not you, though,” Wooyoung countered cheekily, and rather than quipping back, San just smiled. 
"但你可没被排除，"Wooyoung 厚着脸皮反驳，San 没有回嘴，只是笑了笑。

“Not me,” he agreed.
"确实没排除我，"他附和道。

~

On the day of the appointment the following week, Wooyoung waited anxiously outside of his apartment complex, bouncing on his feet and checking his phone every few seconds. He had been texting with San pretty regularly since their initial meeting at the cafe, and upon learning that Wooyoung didn’t have a car, San had offered to drive him to the appointment. 
预约日那天，Wooyoung 在公寓楼下焦躁地等待着，不停地踱步，每隔几秒就看一次手机。自从咖啡馆初次见面后，他和 San 就经常发信息聊天。当 San 得知 Wooyoung 没有车时，便主动提出开车送他去赴约。

His morning shift at the Early Bird had breezed by, and he had spent the rest of the afternoon vibrating with excitement, for he had been waiting for this day all week long. He would finally meet Seonghwa and actually talk to him, all with San by his side as they pretended to bicker. How could that be anything but fun? 
他在"早鸟"咖啡厅的早班轻松度过，整个下午都兴奋得坐立不安，毕竟他整整一周都在等待这一天。终于能和成化见面并真正交谈了，而且还有假装拌嘴的 San 陪在身边。这怎么可能不有趣呢？

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long before a sleek black car pulled up outside of the complex, the same model that San had told him to look out for. Wooyoung hurried towards the street, already beaming as San emerged from inside the vehicle, walking around to the other side and opening the door for him. 
幸运的是，他没等多久就看到一辆光亮的黑色轿车停在小区外，正是 San 说过要留意的车型。宇灿快步走向街道，当 San 从车里钻出来时，他已经笑得灿烂。San 绕到另一侧为他拉开车门。

“Your ride, my dear,” he said dramatically, sweeping his hand towards the open door, and Wooyoung smacked his chest. He should have expected San’s body to be firm with muscle, but it still took him by surprise. The interior of the car was black as well, and Wooyoung sunk into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt as San closed the door behind him, walking back around to his side. 
"您的专车到了，亲爱的，"San 夸张地说着，朝敞开的车门做了个手势，宇灿拍了下他的胸膛。他早该料到 San 的肌肉会很结实，但还是被这触感惊到了。车内同样以黑色为主调，宇灿陷进副驾驶座系好安全带，San 则关上车门绕回驾驶侧。

San glanced over to make sure that Wooyoung’s seatbelt was in place before he shifted the car into drive and peeled away from the curb, speaking over the soft rumble of the engine. “So, are you ready for this or what?” He asked, and Wooyoung grinned, wiggling his feet back and forth excitedly. 
San 侧头确认 Wooyoung 系好安全带后，挂挡驶离路边，引擎低鸣声中开口道："所以，你准备好迎接这场好戏了吗？"Wooyoung 咧嘴一笑，双脚兴奋地来回晃荡。

“Seonghwa is gonna have no idea what hit him by the time he’s done with us. We’re about to be the most convincing fake couple ever,” Wooyoung replied, giddy at the thought. “I can already hear Hongjoong thanking me for my services.” 
等 Seonghwa 领教完我们的手段，绝对会懵得找不着北。"Wooyoung 眉飞色舞地回应，"我们即将成为史上最逼真的假情侣，现在就能想象 Hongjoong 对我感恩戴德的样子了。

“Our services,” San corrected, keeping his eyes on the road, and Wooyoung watched one dimple appear on the side of San’s face that he could actually see. “This is a team effort - this would never work if you didn’t have a fake boyfriend as great as me and you know it. I’m basically just doing you a massive favor.” 
是对我们感恩戴德，"San 目视前方纠正道，Wooyoung 看见他侧脸浮现出单边酒窝。"这是团队作战——要不是有我这么完美的假男友，这计划根本行不通。说白了是我在卖你天大的人情。

Wooyoung shook his head, brows gathering in opposition. “Um, no, actually. It’s not a favor if I’m paying you, which I am, so your argument is invalid.” 
Wooyoung 摇头皱眉反驳："少来这套。我明明付了你酬劳，这算什么人情？你的论点根本不成立。"

“You’re paying me in coffee, Wooyoung.” 
“你可是用咖啡付我报酬的，宇呈。”

“It’s still payment! And you agreed to it, so what’s the problem anyway?” 
“这好歹也是报酬！而且你都同意了，现在还有什么问题？”

San smirked, his brows rising as he drummed his fingers on the wheel. “Well, I don’t see any coffee here today, do I?” Effectively stumped, Wooyoung slumped down in his seat and pouted, arms crossed over his chest. Perhaps San did technically have a point, but Wooyoung had been too excited to think of such things. He supposed that he was already beginning to forget that this was an arrangement for the sake of getting answers about Seonghwa - they two of them weren’t even really friends. 
山扬起嘴角，手指在方向盘上轻敲，眉毛戏谑地挑起：“问题是——我今天可没见到什么咖啡啊。”宇呈顿时语塞，整个人瘫在座椅里撅起嘴，双臂交叉抱在胸前。虽然从道理上讲山确实占理，但宇呈当时兴奋得根本顾不上这些细节。他这才意识到自己都快忘了，这场交易本是为了获取有关星和的线索——他们俩甚至算不上真正的朋友。

“I’m just kidding,” San said as he came to a stop at a red light, his face slightly illuminated by the color. He glanced over at Wooyoung, unable to hide his smile at the dramatics. “I don’t even really care if you pay me - I mean, the coffee sounded great when I read the flyer, but after meeting you it doesn’t matter to me as much. Plus, I should probably work on that addiction of mine anyway.”
“开玩笑的，”山在红灯前停下，脸庞被信号灯染上微光。他瞥了眼宇呈夸张的委屈表情，忍不住笑起来：“其实付不付报酬都无所谓——传单上写的咖啡确实很诱人，但认识你之后就觉得没那么重要了。再说，我也该改改这个咖啡瘾。”

Wooyoung felt the right side of his mouth rise in a crooked smile, his heart content as he adjusted his position in the seat, sitting up again and staring out the window. “We have to be almost there,” he speculated, narrowing his eyes slightly to search for a couples therapy building - whatever that was supposed to look like. 
佑凌感觉自己的右嘴角扬起一抹歪斜的笑容，他心满意足地在座位上调整姿势，重新坐直身子望向窗外。"我们差不多该到了吧，"他推测着，微微眯起眼睛寻找婚姻咨询所的建筑物——虽然完全不知道那地方应该长什么样。

Several seconds passed before Wooyoung pointed at a sign on their right side, with ‘CCC’ printed in big letters. “That has to be it,” he decided, and San glanced at the sign before nodding and pulling into the lot. Mostly vacant aside from a few cars, he parked as far away from the windows of the building as he could. 
几秒钟后，佑凌指向右侧一个印着"CCC"大字母的标识牌。"肯定是那里，"他断言道，而珊瞥了眼路牌后点点头，将车驶入停车场。除了零星几辆车外场地基本空着，他把车停得尽可能远离建筑窗户。

“So they can’t see us out here, just in case we break character,” San explained, and Wooyoung checked his phone for the time, unbuckling his seatbelt. 
"这样里面的人就看不见我们，以防我们突然出戏，"珊解释道。佑凌掏出手机看时间，同时解开了安全带。

“We should probably go inside,” he informed, turning the screen so San could see. “The appointment is supposed to start in five minutes, and they probably need to check us in and stuff.” 
我们该进去了，"他把屏幕转向珊示意道，"预约五分钟后开始，他们可能还需要登记什么的。

They both exited the car, doors slamming shut in unison, the two of them meeting by the trunk. Wooyoung inhaled deeply, preparing himself to act his ass off, but he abruptly choked on air when San’s larger hand slipped into his own. 
两人同时下车，车门砰地一声同步关上，他们在后备箱处会合。友荣深吸一口气，正准备全力投入表演，却突然被空气呛到——因为山那只更大的手突然滑进了他的掌心。

He coughed into the fist of his free hand, looking down at their intertwined fingers and then up at San’s innocent expression, ignoring the butterflies that stirred to life in his stomach. “What are you doing?” Wooyoung hissed, and San squeezed his hand, which certainly did not lessen the effect this was having on his heart. 
他用空着的那只手握拳抵唇咳嗽，低头看着两人交缠的手指，又抬头望向山那副无辜的表情，强压下胃里翻腾的蝴蝶效应。"你干什么？"友荣压低声音质问，山却捏了捏他的手——这个动作绝对没让他的心跳减速半分。

“For appearances,” he explained like it was obvious, trying to pull Wooyoung forward to the office, but he refused to budge. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.” 
做戏做全套，"山说得理所当然，试图拽着友荣往办公楼走，但对方纹丝不动。"快点，要迟到了。

“Okay, but we’re supposed to be fighting, so we can’t walk in there all enamored with each other. It wouldn’t make it any easier to fool these people,” Wooyoung reasoned, and San shrugged. 
"行，但我们现在应该是吵架状态，不能一副如胶似漆的样子走进去。这样怎么骗得过那些人？"友荣据理力争，山无所谓地耸了耸肩。

“So you don’t want to hold my hand,” San concluded, pulling free of Wooyoung’s grasp, and Wooyoung floundered because he didn’t mean it like that. 
"所以你就是不想牵我的手，"San 得出结论，挣脱了 Wooyoung 的手掌。Wooyoung 顿时手足无措，因为他根本不是这个意思。

“No, that’s not what I-” 
不，我不是——

“Oh, I see. So you do want to hold my hand, even though no one can see us right now, and appearances aren’t necessary. Got it.” he winked, and Wooyoung slapped his shoulder this time, cheeks flaming. 
"噢，我懂了。所以即使现在没人看得见我们，也不需要装样子，你还是想牵我的手。明白了。"他眨眨眼，这次 Wooyoung 拍了下他的肩膀，脸颊烧得通红。

“What - you held my hand first! You’re so annoying,” he grumbled, and San laughed loud enough to send a few birds out of the tree beside them, squawking irritably at the disturbance. 
"什么——明明是你先牵我的！烦死了，"他嘟囔着，San 的笑声惊飞了旁边树上的几只鸟，鸟儿们对这场骚动发出不满的鸣叫。

They started towards the office, San’s smile practically blinding. “You’re just so fun to tease,” he laughed, throwing a casual arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders, even though Wooyoung stiffened and pushed him away a moment later. 
他们朝办公室走去，San 的笑容灿烂得几乎晃眼。"逗你玩实在太有意思了，"他笑着将手臂随意搭在 Wooyoung 肩上，尽管后者立刻僵硬地推开了他。

“They can see us now, you idiot!” He hissed, for they had come in sight of the windows now, and San instantly schooled his expression into one of mild annoyance. 
"现在他们能看见我们了，白痴！"Wooyoung 压低声音呵斥，此刻他们已进入窗户可视范围，San 立即将表情调整为略带烦躁的模样。

“Right, right, sorry - how’s this? Do I look annoyed?” He asked, and Wooyoung swallowed a laugh, forcing his own features to remain neutral. 
"对对，抱歉——这样如何？我看起来够烦吗？"他问道，Wooyoung 强忍笑意绷着脸。

“You look constipated,” he answered bluntly, and San gaped at him before remembering the windows, forcing his mouth into a straight line even though his dimples betrayed his amusement. He shook his head as they reached the door, holding it open for Wooyoung and whispering for only him to hear as he passed. 
"你像便秘了，"他直白地回答，San 张大嘴正要反驳，突然想起窗户又立刻抿直嘴唇，可酒窝还是泄露了他的笑意。走到门前时 San 摇头替 Wooyoung 拉开门，趁他经过时压低声音说了句只有他能听见的话。

“Jung Wooyoung, you are unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” 
“郑禹英，你和我见过的所有人都不一样。”

~

After checking in, the receptionist led them to Seonghwa’s office, her heels clicking against the wood paneled floor. Wooyoung was pretty sure she was the same woman he had spoken to on the phone, and he forced himself to act somber in front of her, not wanting to fuel any suspicions after the disastrous phone call. 
办理完登记手续后，前台接待员领着他们走向成华的办公室，她的高跟鞋在木地板上敲出清脆声响。友荣几乎能确定这就是电话里那位女士，他强迫自己在她面前保持肃穆神情，不想在那通灾难性通话后再引发任何怀疑。

She seemed to be perfectly polite though, and she rapped her knuckles lightly against Seonghwa’s door, a sign with the therapist’s name engraved on it adhered to the outside. She pushed the door open gently, and Wooyoung peered inside, eyes finally landing on Park Seonghwa himself after hearing about him for ages. 
不过她表现得极为得体，用指节轻叩成华的房门——门外挂着刻有这位心理医生名字的标牌。她轻轻推开门时，友荣向里张望，在听闻许久之后终于见到了朴成华本人。

Seated in a plush leather desk chair, Seonghwa glanced up from a sleek silver laptop at their arrival, closing the computer and getting to his feet with a gentle smile. Dark bangs framed his face, and the ends of his hair brushed at his collar, long but elegant. He looked like some kind of long lost prince even in ordinary clothing, and Wooyoung could suddenly understand why Hongjoong was so enamored. 
坐在豪华皮椅中的成华从银色笔记本电脑前抬头，看见来人便合上电脑起身，脸上挂着温和笑意。黑色刘海垂落在他脸颊两侧，发尾轻扫衬衫领口，长度恰好透着优雅。即便穿着常服，他也像某个流落民间的王子，友荣突然就明白了洪为何如此着迷。

“Hello, Wooyoung and San, correct? It is lovely to meet you,” Seonghwa greeted, his voice like velvet as he stepped around his desk and extended a slender hand to Wooyoung first, the closer of the two. 
"你们好，是友荣和 San 吧？很高兴见到你们，"星华问候道，他的声音如天鹅绒般柔和，绕过办公桌先向距离较近的友荣伸出修长的手。

Wooyoung grasped his hand and shook it, his skin impossibly soft to the touch. “I’m Wooyoung,” he introduced, and Seonghwa nodded once, breaking the handshake and offering the same gesture to San. Already Wooyoung could tell that he had been practically made for this job, his presence so calming and full of welcome that it came to him as no surprise that Seonghwa was one of their best. He felt like he could tell this man anything and not feel judged for it. 
友荣握住那只手轻轻摇晃，触感柔软得不可思议。"我是友荣，"他自我介绍道，星华微微颔首后松开手，向 San 做出同样的礼节性动作。友荣立刻意识到这人天生就该吃这碗饭——那种令人安心的亲和力，难怪星华是他们机构最出色的心理咨询师之一。他感觉自己能向这个男人倾诉任何事而不必担心被评判。

The receptionist clicked the door shut as she left, leaving the three of them alone in the office. Seonghwa moved back behind his desk, setting his laptop to the side and gesturing to the two chairs opposite his own. “Please, have a seat,” he offered, and Wooyoung and San both shuffled over to the chairs. 
接待员离开时咔哒一声带上了门，办公室里只剩下他们三人。星华回到办公桌后，将笔记本电脑挪到一旁，示意两人坐在对面的椅子上。"请坐，"他邀请道，友荣和 San 便拖着脚步走向那两把椅子。

The cushions were soft and comfortable, and Wooyoung rested his arms on the sides, resolutely ignoring San as he smiled sweetly at Seonghwa. “So, how exactly does this work?” He asked, and San nudged him right in the place over his ribs where he was most ticklish. Wooyoung disguised his laugh as a cough, barely able to make out San’s retort. 
靠垫柔软舒适，禹英将手臂搭在两侧，坚决无视正在对星华甜笑的伞。"所以具体流程是怎样的？"他问道，伞立刻用手肘戳了戳他最怕痒的肋骨部位。禹英把笑声伪装成咳嗽，几乎听不清伞的反击。

“Wooyoung, give him a chance to speak. Don’t be rude,” he scolded, and Wooyoung crossed his arms, glaring at San before turning his attention back to Seonghwa. 
"禹英，让人家把话说完。别这么没礼貌，"伞责备道。禹英交叉双臂，朝伞瞪了一眼，又将注意力转回星华身上。

“Sorry,” he grumbled, though he felt rather pleased to see how Seonghwa was studying them, clearly buying into their dynamic. 
"抱歉，"他嘟囔着，但看到星华认真观察他们的模样，明显接受了他们这种相处模式，心里其实挺高兴。

The therapist smiled gently, making a point to shift his gaze between both of them. “It is quite alright,” he assured. “I am under the impression that this is your first time visiting a couples therapist?” They both nodded. “Okay, well I am going to ask you some questions so I can understand your circumstances and observe your dynamic. Please be honest with me, for I can’t help you if I don’t know how you both truly feel.” 
治疗师温和地微笑着，刻意将目光在两人之间游移。"完全没关系，"他安抚道，"我猜这是你们第一次接受伴侣治疗？"两人同时点头。"好的，接下来我会问些问题，以便了解你们的情况并观察互动模式。请诚实地回答，因为只有知道你们的真实感受，我才能提供帮助。"

Wooyoung mentally went over all of the details they had decided on, and he could only hope that San remembered them as well - it would be really embarrassing if they exposed themselves so quickly. “How long have you two been together, first of all?” Seonghwa asked, and Wooyoung answered a beat later, his tone completely natural. 
佑真在脑海中回顾着他们商定的所有细节，只能祈祷尚也记得清楚——要是这么快就穿帮可就太尴尬了。"首先，你们交往多久了？"星和问道，佑真稍作停顿后回答，语气无比自然。

“Two years. And a few months - our anniversary was in January .” He made up the anniversary part on the spot in order to make it sound more realistic, and he felt quite proud of himself when Seonghwa nodded, jotting the information down in a spiral notebook on his desk. 
"两年零几个月——我们的纪念日在一月份。"他当场编造了纪念日的细节让故事更可信，当星和点头并在办公桌的螺旋笔记本上记录时，他不禁暗自得意。

Glancing up as he wrote, Seonghwa cocked his head slightly. “And, San, why do you appear to be so surprised about this?” Wooyoung stiffened, turning his head to glare at San, for sure enough he had been looking at Wooyoung in disbelief, probably because of how seamlessly he had lied. 
星和边写边抬眼，微微偏头问道："那么，尚，你看起来为什么这么惊讶？"佑真顿时僵住，转头瞪向尚——果然对方正用难以置信的眼神盯着自己，大概是被他行云流水的谎言惊到了。

Wooyoung had always been good at that, but that wouldn’t matter if San blew it all now, and he discreetly jabbed his foot into San’s ankle. “Well,” San blurted, and Wooyoung had to focus on keeping his features neutral, “because Wooyoung has consistently forgotten about our anniversary both years! I bought him very thoughtful gifts, and he had no idea what the occasion was.” 
禹英一直很擅长这个，但如果现在山搞砸一切就前功尽弃了，他悄悄用脚尖戳了戳山的脚踝。"这个嘛，"山突然开口，禹英不得不努力保持面无表情，"因为禹英连续两年都忘了我们的纪念日！我准备了很用心的礼物，可他根本不知道那天是什么日子。"

The answer took Wooyoung by complete surprise, but he did a better job of hiding it than San had, turning to face his partner. “Shut up,” he hissed, enjoying where this was going. “Stop trying to make me look bad already, we just got here-”
这个回答完全出乎禹英意料，但他比山更擅长掩饰，只是转头面向伴侣。"闭嘴，"他压低声音，却暗自享受这个走向，"别刚来就急着抹黑我——"

“Well, don’t go acting like you’ve ever cared about the date of our anniversary before! You just want to impress him, you fucking-”
呵，说得好像你以前在乎过纪念日似的！你不过是想给他留个好印象，你这混账——

“Please, both of you,” Seonghwa interrupted, eyebrows delicately raised. “I understand that you are both harboring a wealth of emotion and hurt feelings, and I promise that we will delve into such issues, but may I first continue with my questions?”
两位请冷静，"星和轻声打断，优雅地挑起眉毛，"我理解你们都积压了许多情绪和委屈，我们稍后肯定会深入探讨这些问题。但现在能否容我继续提问？

Wooyoung sank down in his seat, shifting as far away from San as possible, both of them mumbling their agreement. “Excellent,” Seonghwa continued, as if they hadn’t just quarreled right in front of him, although Wooyoung supposed he must have been used to that by now - he had probably seen way worse. 
禹英缩进座位里，尽可能远离身旁的 San，两人都含糊地应和着。"很好，"星和继续道，仿佛刚才那场当着他面爆发的争吵从未发生——不过禹英猜想他大概早就习以为常了，毕竟更糟糕的场面这位肯定见识过。

He asked a few more basic questions about their relationship itself, all things they had previously discussed, and they answered each one without a hitch. Wooyoung had fully slipped into character at this point, and he could tell that San had too, both of them enjoying this far too much. 
星和又问了几个关于他们恋爱关系的基础问题，都是事先对过口径的内容，两人对答如流。此刻禹英已经完全进入角色状态，他能感觉到 San 也是，两人都在这场戏里玩得过火了。

“Thank you for your cooperation,” Seonghwa said, writing briefly in his notebook before looking at them both with earnest eyes, tenting his fingers against the table. “Now, with that all out of the way, I want to ask you what led you to seek professional help? What has been your biggest conflict currently, and how long has it persisted for?”
“感谢你们的配合，”星和说着，在笔记本上快速记录了几笔，随后十指交叠抵在桌面，用诚恳的目光注视着两人，“现在进入正题，我想了解你们寻求专业帮助的原因？目前最大的矛盾是什么？这个状况持续多久了？”

Wooyoung resisted a grin, opening his mouth to respond, but San beat him to it. “A few months ago, I asked Wooyoung to move in with me. We’ve always had issues here and there, but I still wanted a life with him always around, you know? So I asked, and he said no, and it hurt my feelings because we had discussed these things before and he had always made it seem like he wanted to live together. I still don’t understand why he would lead me on like that, and it has led me to question if Wooyoung even wants to still be with me.” 
宇桢忍住笑意正要开口，却被山抢先答道：“几个月前我邀请宇桢同居。虽然我们时不时会有些小摩擦，但我始终希望能和他朝夕相处。可当我提出请求时，他拒绝了——这让我很受伤，因为我们之前讨论过这个话题，他明明表现得像是很期待同居的样子。至今我都不明白他为什么要给我这种虚假希望，甚至开始怀疑宇桢是否还想继续这段关系。”

San did a great job of sounding devastated, shaking his head in disappointment, and Wooyoung knew that it was his turn now. “You’re so full of shit,” he countered, mouth gaping open, a hand lightly pressed against his chest. “I said no because I wasn’t ready for that step, and instead of understanding that, you’ve been constantly asking if I’ve changed my mind and berating me over the phone about it! I don’t want to move into your tiny ass apartment with you - last time I went there, the same dirty dishes were in the dishwasher from the week before. That is disgusting, San. You disgust me.” 
San 装出一副心碎欲绝的样子，摇头叹息的表演堪称完美，现在轮到 Wooyoung 接招了。"你简直满嘴胡言！"他反驳道，嘴巴张得老大，一只手轻按在胸口。"我拒绝是因为还没准备好迈出那一步，可你非但不理解，还整天追问我改变主意没有，甚至在电话里为这事数落我！我才不想搬进你那狗窝——上次去的时候，洗碗机里还堆着上周的脏盘子。太恶心了，San。你让我反胃。"

Shock overcame San’s expression, his hands gripping the armrests of his chair. “My grandma died!” He exclaimed, face beginning to turn red - his acting was very convincing, much to Wooyoung’s continued relief. “I was too sad to do the damn dishes, and now you’re trying to use that against me? Fuck you!” 
San 脸上浮现震惊之色，双手死死抓住椅子扶手。"我奶奶去世了！"他涨红着脸喊道——这逼真的演技让 Wooyoung 再次暗自庆幸。"我伤心到连他妈盘子都洗不动，现在你居然拿这个攻击我？去你的！"

“Well, I wouldn’t have said that if you hadn’t-” 
要不是你先——我也不会说那种——

Seonghwa clapped his hands together once, cutting Wooyoung off and regaining their attention. “That was very telling, thank you. Both of you have reasons for the way that you feel, and I want you to understand that those feelings are valid, regardless of how your partner perceives them. But it is also important to acknowledge your partner’s feelings as well - a big part of being in a relationship is empathy and communication. You may not always see eye to eye, but I encourage you both not to dismiss the other’s feelings either.” 
星和双手一拍，打断了宇荣的话并重新吸引了他们的注意力。"这很能说明问题，谢谢。你们各自都有产生这些感受的理由，我希望你们明白这些感受都是合理的，无论你的伴侣如何看待它们。但同样重要的是也要承认伴侣的感受——恋爱关系中很大一部分在于同理心和沟通。你们可能不会总是意见一致，但我鼓励你们都不要忽视对方的感受。"

They both nodded wordlessly, casting silent glares at one another. “Now, I like to begin every one of my sessions the same way, and even though most of this session has been occupied by the introductory questions, I would still like to show you what I mean now, if that’s okay.”
两人无言地点点头，默默向对方投去不满的眼神。"现在，我喜欢用同样的方式开始每次咨询，尽管这次大部分时间都被介绍性问题占据了，如果你们不介意的话，我现在还是想向你们展示我的方法。"

After receiving their confirmation, Seonghwa continued, flipping to a new page in his notebook. “How are you feeling towards your partner today? Not yesterday, or a few months ago - just today. By asking you this every session, it helps me to understand the place you are in each time, and knowing these feelings can help you both to better understand each other.”
得到他们的确认后，星和翻到笔记本新的一页继续道："今天你对伴侣的感受如何？不是昨天，也不是几个月前——就只是今天。每次咨询都问这个问题，能帮助我了解你们每次所处的状态，而了解这些感受也能帮助你们更好地理解彼此。"

Seonghwa directed his gaze towards Wooyoung first, his demeanor just as steady and calm as it had been at the beginning. “Would you care to answer first?” He asked, and Wooyoung nodded, his mind already turning deviously. 
成华首先将目光投向禹英，他的神态如同最初那般沉稳平静。"你愿意先回答吗？"他问道，禹英点了点头，脑海中已开始盘算些狡黠的念头。

“Today I wasn’t feeling too badly towards San - he only sent me two annoying texts this morning, which is low for him. But then he picked me up to come here, and he told me that I look ugly today, so that really upset me.” Obviously this was not true at all, but Wooyoung had come to the realization that it was quite fun to insult himself and pretend that San had been the one to say it. It felt wrong for him to insult San outright, and he had yet to find anything negative about him anyway. So this way was easier. And way more fun. 
"今天我对伞哥其实没太大意见——他早上只发了两条烦人短信，对他来说算少了。但后来他接我来这里时，说我今天很丑，这让我特别难过。"这显然全是胡扯，但禹英发现假装这些话是伞哥说的、借此自嘲特别有趣。直接诋毁伞哥让他心有不安，况且他也确实找不出伞哥什么缺点。这样处理更轻松，也更有意思。

San spluttered, impatiently waiting for his own turn, and Wooyoung struggled to keep the grin from his lips. “Thank you for sharing, Wooyoung,” Seonghwa responded, and Wooyoung gave him a timid smile, as if it had been difficult to share his feelings aloud. “San, what about you?” 
伞哥急不可待地等着轮到自己发言，气得直结巴，禹英拼命抿住上扬的嘴角。"感谢分享，禹英，"成华回应道，禹英回以腼腆微笑，仿佛袒露心声需要莫大勇气。"伞哥，你呢？"

“I am feeling very distraught today, Seonghwa,” San answered, and Wooyoung shifted his feet in excitement, eager to hear how San would retaliate. This was like a game, only they were both insane enough to pretend it was real in front of an actual licensed therapist. “Wooyoung wasn’t being entirely honest - he first told me that he looked ugly, and I denied it, but then he kept insisting that he did until I eventually agreed just to make him stop, but he got mad at me for that and started yelling about how I’m lucky to have him because, apparently, he’s ‘the shit’ and I am… well, just shit. Whatever that means.” 
我今天感到非常心烦意乱，星和，"San 回答道，而 Wooyoung 兴奋地挪动着双脚，迫不及待想听 San 会如何反击。这就像一场游戏，只是他们俩都疯狂到要在真正的执业心理治疗师面前假装这是真的。"Wooyoung 没有完全说实话——他一开始告诉我他看起来很丑，我否认了，但他一直坚持自己很丑，直到我最终同意只是为了让他停下来，但他却因此对我发火，开始大喊大叫，说我拥有他是多么幸运，因为显然他是'顶级货'，而我...嗯，只是垃圾。不管那是什么意思。

Wooyoung couldn’t prevent a laugh from escaping at that, the story taking him by surprise, and he clapped a hand over his mouth, trying to appear sheepish when Seonghwa looked his way. “Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed, but… I mean, you have to admit it was funny, right? I’m the shit - like, as in ‘I’m the best’ - and San is just… you know. Actual shit” 
Wooyoung 听到这里忍不住笑出声来，这个故事让他措手不及，他用手捂住嘴，当星和看向他时，试图表现出不好意思的样子。"抱歉，抱歉。我不该笑的，但是...我的意思是，你得承认这很好笑，对吧？我是顶级货——就像'我是最棒的'——而 San 只是...你知道的。真正的垃圾"

He chuckled to himself again despite the silence. “Yes, I was able to put that together, thank you,” Seonghwa responded, a hint of disapproval in his words, though the calm smile still remained in place. Wooyoung cleared his throat, trying his best to compose himself, though he was having difficulty. 
尽管周围一片寂静，他还是自顾自地又轻笑了一声。"是的，我自己能想明白，谢谢，"成华回应道，话语里带着一丝不赞同，但平静的微笑依然挂在脸上。禹英清了清嗓子，竭力让自己镇定下来，尽管这对他来说有些困难。

“Thank you for sharing that, San,” Seonghwa acknowledged, his voice composed as ever as he took in the sight of both of them, San looking mildly offended while Wooyoung was clearly still amused. “Normally during your sessions, I will begin with that question, and we will go off of your answers to explore your dynamic and perhaps where you can be more understanding of one another. Unfortunately, we do not have time for that today, but I wanted you to experience what it will be like next time. I definitely want to see you both here again, as I think I can help you resolve the issues you’re both experiencing.” 
感谢分享，San，"成华认可地说道，他的声音一如既往地沉稳，同时打量着两人的表情——San 看起来有些被冒犯，而禹英显然还在暗自好笑。"通常在你们的咨询中，我会以这个问题作为开场，然后根据你们的回答来探索你们的相处模式，也许还能找到彼此需要更多理解的地方。遗憾的是今天时间有限，但我想让你们提前感受下下次咨询的形式。我非常希望再次见到你们，我相信能帮助解决你们双方正面临的问题。

He closed the cover of his notebook, and San and Wooyoung both nodded, sensing that the session was drawing to a close. “Do either of you have any questions for me before you go? About couples therapy itself, or about your own experiences so far?” The genuine desire to help them was obvious in the open set of his face, and Wooyoung cast a look at San, not prepared to ask any questions of his own. 
他合上笔记本的封面，San 和 Wooyoung 都点了点头，感觉到这次咨询即将结束。"你们离开前还有什么问题要问我吗？关于伴侣治疗本身，或者你们目前的经历？"他舒展的面容上明显流露出真诚想要帮助他们的意愿，Wooyoung 瞥了 San 一眼，自己并不准备提问。

“Um,” San started, meeting Wooyoung’s eyes before turning away quickly, probably so he wouldn’t burst into laughter. “I don’t think so. You’ve been really great, thank you for meeting with us.” He smiled politely, and Wooyoung mimicked the gesture, for despite their bickering he did want Seonghwa to like them. It would be awkward if he started dating Hongjoong and realized that one half of the couple that he hated was actually Hongjoong’s best friend.
"呃，"San 开口时与 Wooyoung 对视了一瞬又迅速移开视线，大概是为了避免突然笑出声。"我想没有了。您真的非常专业，感谢您接待我们。"他礼貌地微笑着，Wooyoung 也模仿着这个表情——尽管他们总在斗嘴，但他确实希望 Seonghwa 能喜欢他们。要是 Seonghwa 开始和 Hongjoong 约会后，发现自己讨厌的那对伴侣中的一方其实是 Hongjoong 最好的朋友，那场面可就尴尬了。

Well, he knew it would probably be awkward regardless when Seonghwa came to understand their motives, but that was something to worry about ages from now. Wooyoung was very much the type not to dwell on future situations, and all he cared about was that he was enjoying himself in the present. Which he most certainly was. 
当然，他知道当 Seonghwa 最终明白他们的动机时，无论如何都会很尴尬，但那是很久以后才需要担心的事。Wooyoung 向来不是那种为未来情况忧心忡忡的类型，他只在乎当下是否玩得开心。而现在，他确实乐在其中。

“You should thank yourselves for taking the first step to improving your relationship in the ways that you want. I am simply here to help you,” Seonghwa responded with a soft smile, pushing back his desk chair and getting to his feet. They both did the same, and Seonghwa crossed the room to the door, holding it open for them and grasping each of their hands again on their way out. “I look forward to seeing you both again.” 
“你们应该感谢自己迈出了第一步，按照自己想要的方式改善关系。我只是在这里提供帮助而已。”成华柔声回应，嘴角挂着温和的笑意，将办公椅向后推并站起身来。两人也随即起身，成华穿过房间来到门前，为他们拉开门，在他们离开时再次握住每个人的手。“期待下次与二位再见。”

Repeating the sentiment, Wooyoung stepped out into the hallway, and the two of them walked back out the way they came. Instead of stopping to talk to the receptionist, Wooyoung figured he would just schedule their next appointment over the phone, for he was too eager to discuss the session with San without any prying eyes around. 
重复着同样的情绪，宇英踏入走廊，两人沿着来时的路返回。宇英没有停下与前台交谈，他盘算着直接通过电话预约下次会面——此刻他迫不及待想与伞讨论这次咨询，不愿有任何窥探的目光打扰。

They stepped out into the parking lot, and they both made a beeline for the car, speed walking to the back of the lot. Wooyoung cast a glance in San’s direction right as San did the same, and they both burst into laughter, unable to keep it together anymore. “That was fucking ridiculous,” San said through his laughter, his eyes shining. 
来到停车场后，两人径直冲向车辆，快步走向停车场深处。宇英朝伞的方向瞥去，恰巧伞也正看向他，两人顿时爆发出一阵无法抑制的大笑。“简直太他妈荒谬了，”伞笑得上气不接下气，眼里闪着光。

“That was fucking fun,” Wooyoung corrected, grinning so hard that it made his cheeks hurt. 
“是太他妈有趣了，”宇英咧嘴笑着纠正道，灿烂的笑容扯得脸颊生疼。

He rushed ahead and climbed right into the passenger seat of the car, waiting until San was inside as well and both doors were closed to open his mouth again. “I’m the shit? And you’re just shit?” he asked, still laughing. “How the hell did you come up with that on the spot?” 
他抢先一步冲进车里，直接爬进副驾驶座，等 San 也坐进来、两扇车门都关好后，才又开口。"我是牛逼？而你只是屎？"他问着，仍然笑个不停，"你他妈是怎么当场想出这种话的？"

“I didn’t,” San admitted, gripping the wheel but not making any move to pull out of the lot just yet. “One of my students said that to one of the other kids a few days ago - I had to tell her it was wrong to say, of course, but it sure was funny. It came back to me in a time of need, I guess.” 
其实不是我想的，"San 承认道，双手握着方向盘但还没准备驶离停车场，"前几天我的一个学生对着另一个孩子这么说——我当然得告诉她这样说不对，但确实挺搞笑的。紧急时刻突然就想起来了。

Wooyoung shook his head in disbelief, seeing San in a whole new light. “I think I’ve really met my match with you,” he decided, and San was about to say something in return when Wooyoung sat straight up in his seat, his jaw falling open. “Oh my god! I didn’t even ask him a thing about Hongjoong, or about his type, or about… well, I didn’t ask him anything at all!” He couldn’t believe it, because that had been their entire reason for going, but he had been too busy enjoying himself. 
禹英祐难以置信地摇摇头，用一种全新的眼光看着 San。"我觉得我真是遇到对手了，"他断言道。San 正要回应时，禹英祐突然在座位上挺直身子，张大嘴巴惊呼："天啊！我完全没问他关于洪准的事！没问他喜欢什么类型，也没问...好吧，我压根什么都没问！"他简直不敢相信，因为这原本就是他们此行的全部目的，但他刚才只顾着享受乐趣了。

“Hey, it’s alright,” San said, still smiling. “There’s always next week, right?” 
嘿，没关系，"San 依然微笑着说，"反正还有下周，对吧？

He was right, of course, and Wooyoung found that he was quite pleased at the thought of doing it all again. 
他说的没错，当然，而 Wooyoung 发现自己对重来一次这个念头感到相当愉悦。