Black Lives Matter is over. When will our universities notice?
黑人的命也是命运动结束了。我们的大学何时会注意到这一点？

The Second World War ended with the surrender of Japanese forces. Well, almost all Japanese forces. Hiroo Onoda, a lieutenant in the imperial army, continued fighting in the jungles of the Philippines for a further 29 years – because he didn’t realise that the war was over.
第二次世界大战以日本军队的投降而结束。好吧，几乎所有日本军队都投降了。帝国军队的中尉小野田寛郎在菲律宾的丛林中继续作战长达 29 年——因为他没有意识到战争已经结束。

I was reminded of that remarkable story at the weekend, when I read our report on the latest fatuous goings-on in higher education.
我在周末读到我们关于高等教育最新荒谬事件的报告时，想起了那个非凡的故事。

A group of academics at the universities of Nottingham and Nottingham Trent, we wrote, have published a review into the historic links between these two institutions and the slave trade. And in this review, they denounced “racially unbalanced” curriculums, and declared that degree courses should not focus on the “undertakings of white people”.
诺丁汉大学和诺丁汉特伦特大学的一组学者发表了一项关于这两所机构与奴隶贸易之间历史联系的评审。在这项评审中，他们谴责了“种族不平衡”的课程，并宣称学位课程不应专注于“白人的事业”。

In recent years, of course, we’ve read countless stories of this kind. But it seems bizarre that we’re still reading them in 2025.
近年来，我们当然读过无数这样的故事。但在 2025 年我们仍然在阅读这些故事似乎很奇怪。

After all, don’t our universities realise that the war is over?
毕竟，我们的大学难道没有意识到战争已经结束吗？

The fact is, all this hysterical hand-wringing about the supposed need to “decolonise” academia was really just a panicked middle-class response to the Black Lives Matter protests of summer 2020. But Black Lives Matter has been and gone now. In social justice circles, it’s very much yesterday’s trend. Left-wing activists have moved on. These days it’s all about Israel, drag queens, and why it’s far-Right to prosecute grooming gangs. BLM is distinctly passé.
事实是，关于所谓“去殖民化”学术界的这些歇斯底里的担忧，实际上只是中产阶级对 2020 年夏季黑人的命也是命抗议活动的恐慌反应。但黑人的命也是命运动现在已经过去。在社会正义圈子里，这已经是昨天的趋势。左翼活动家们已经转移了注意力。如今，讨论的焦点是以色列、变装皇后，以及为什么起诉诱拐团伙是极右翼的行为。BLM 显得格外过时。

Yet, like Hiroo Onoda, our poor, oblivious academics are fighting fruitlessly on. I do wish someone would be kind enough to take them to one side, and gently break the news.
然而，就像 Hiroo Onoda 一样，我们那些可怜的、无知的学者们仍在徒劳地战斗。我真希望有人能好心地把他们带到一旁，温柔地告诉他们这个消息。

“Professors! Stop! It’s over! It’s not 2020 any more! There’s no need to keep prostrating yourselves in this desperate manner! You don’t have to rename all your colleges, or announce that maths is racist, or pretend to think that WAP by Cardi B has equal literary merit to King Lear! You can just quietly forget all about it! No one will mind!
“教授们！停下！结束了！现在已经不是 2020 年了！没有必要以这种绝望的方式自我卑躬屈膝！你们不必重命名所有的学院，或者宣布数学是种族主义的，或者假装认为卡迪·B 的WAP与李尔王具有同等的文学价值！你们可以安静地忘记这一切！没有人会介意的！

“I promise. It’s perfectly safe. In America, where the whole BLM craze started, loads of major employers are now dismantling their Diversity, Equity and Inclusion departments. For pity’s sake, even their universities are getting rid of them. And if the Americans aren’t bothering with this self-flagellating tripe any more, why should you?
“我保证。这是完全安全的。在美国，整个 BLM 热潮开始的地方，许多大型雇主现在正在解散他们的多样性、公平和包容部门。天哪，连他们的大学也在摆脱这些部门。如果美国人不再在乎这些自我鞭笞的废话，那你为什么还要在乎呢？”

“Come on. Be brave. And if some purple-haired student nitwit demands to know why your courses are focused on ‘the undertakings of white people’, politely explain that it’s because your university is British, and almost all the major figures in British history were, shocking though it may seem, white. And since your student couldn’t work this out, he, she or they clearly isn’t intelligent enough to be at university in the first place.”
“来吧。勇敢一点。如果某个紫发的学生傻瓜要求知道为什么你的课程专注于‘白人的事业’，礼貌地解释一下，因为你的大学是英国的，而几乎所有英国历史上的重要人物，尽管这听起来令人震惊，都是白人。既然你的学生无法理解这一点，他、她或他们显然不够聪明，根本不应该在大学里。”

Why criminals must face the music
为什么罪犯必须面对后果

When a man from St John’s Wood in London told police that the area had become plagued by violent junkies and drug dealers, he doubtless hoped that they’d rush round and make some arrests. Instead, however, an officer gave him the most extraordinary piece of advice.
当一位来自伦敦圣约翰伍德的男子告诉警方该地区被暴力吸毒者和毒贩困扰时，他无疑希望警方能迅速赶来逮捕一些人。然而，结果是一名警官给了他一个最非凡的建议。

Apparently, he should ask the local council to “play classical music” – because “this has proven to deter and prevent crimes”.
显然，他应该要求当地议会“播放古典音乐”——因为“这已被证明可以威慑和预防犯罪”。

What a fascinating idea. Presumably the beauty of the music has a pacifying, perhaps even civilising effect on would-be criminals. If so, this is wonderful news. Next time you find yourself being mugged, simply hum a few bars of Brahms, and the mugger will apologetically hand back your phone before gliding gracefully off on his e-scooter, whistling the Wiegenlied.
多么迷人的想法。可以推测，音乐的美丽对潜在的罪犯有一种安抚，甚至可能是文明的效果。如果是这样，那真是个好消息。下次你发现自己被抢劫时，只需哼几句布拉姆斯的旋律，抢劫者就会歉意地把你的手机还给你，然后优雅地骑上他的电动滑板车，吹着Wiegenlied。

In fact, this startling news could utterly transform the way we combat crime. For example, to defend their lavish homes from burglars, many Premier League footballers hire former SAS soldiers. Now they’ll hire a string quartet instead.
事实上，这一惊人的消息可能会彻底改变我们打击犯罪的方式。例如，为了保护他们奢华的家园免受入室盗窃，许多英超联赛足球运动员雇佣前 SAS 士兵。现在他们将雇佣一支弦乐四重奏。

Come to think of it, if classical music is indeed proven to prevent crime, it’s surprising that the police didn’t deploy this tactic during last summer’s riots. A quick burst of The Four Seasons and the rioters would have ceased their chanting, downed their weapons, and commenced an earnest discussion about the wonders of multiculturalism. “What people need to understand is that Britain has always been a nation of immigrants. As Rory Stewart was saying to Alastair Campbell on the new episode of their marvellous podcast…”
仔细想想，如果古典音乐确实被证明可以预防犯罪，那么警方在去年的骚乱中没有采用这一策略就令人惊讶。一段快速的四季乐曲，骚乱者就会停止他们的呐喊，放下武器，开始认真讨论多元文化的奇妙。“人们需要理解的是，英国一直是一个移民国家。正如罗里·斯图尔特在他们精彩的播客新一集中对阿拉斯泰尔·坎贝尔所说的那样……”

But, before homeowners start replacing their security alarms with Sonos speakers tuned to Radio 3, they should bear in mind that the plan does have one potential downside. Because, as the officer warned the man in St John’s Wood, playing music too loudly “can cause complaints”.
但是，在房主开始用调到 Radio 3 的 Sonos 音响替换他们的安全警报之前，他们应该记住这个计划确实有一个潜在的缺点。正如警官警告圣约翰伍德的那名男子，播放音乐太大声“可能会引发投诉”。

Yes, I can just imagine. “Hello, is that the police? Some idiot keeps blasting out Eine Kleine Nachtmusik at maximum volume, and it’s driving away all my customers. How am I supposed to deal drugs with that racket going on?”
是的，我可以想象。“你好，是警察吗？有个白痴一直在最大音量播放小夜曲，这把我所有的顾客都吓跑了。我怎么能在这种噪音下做生意？”

Way of the World is a twice-weekly satirical look at the headlines aiming to mock the absurdities of the modern world. It is published at 7am every Tuesday and Saturday
世界的方式 是一档每周两次的讽刺节目，旨在嘲笑现代世界的荒谬。它每周二和周六上午 7 点发布