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My Tyrant Fiancé Is In Love With Me But I’m Crossdressing?!
我的暴君未婚夫爱上了我,但我却在女扮男装?!

Chapter 49 第四十九章

Notes: 注释:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
(章节末尾有注释。)

Chapter Text 正文

The silence in the room loomed over them awkwardly, both not knowing what to say.
房间里的沉默尴尬地笼罩着他们,两人都不知道该说什么。

Sae sat on the chair meant for his desk, facing Rin, who was kneeling on the ground because Sae told him to. He was looking down at his knees, not looking his older brother in the eye, purposely avoiding his gaze.
Sae坐在本该属于他书桌的椅子上,面对着Rin,后者因为Sae的命令而跪在地上。他低头看着自己的膝盖,故意避开与兄长的目光接触,不直视他的眼睛。

Meanwhile, Sae struggled with his thoughts and words, wondering how the hell did this end up happening? He was acutely aware of the rumours about Rin and Ichika, even feeling a little bit envious at them. However, as Rin’s older brother and Ichika’s friend, he knew that what they had was platonic. Although it was clear Rin had stronger feelings, it didn’t seem like Ichika reciprocated them.
与此同时,Sae在思绪和言辞中挣扎,想知道这一切究竟是怎么发生的?他敏锐地意识到关于Rin和Ichika的流言蜚语,甚至对他们感到一丝嫉妒。然而,作为Rin的兄长和Ichika的朋友,他知道他们之间的关系是纯洁的。尽管Rin显然有更深的感情,但似乎Ichika并没有回应这些情感。

That was the one thread of hope he had been holding on to.
那是他一直紧握的唯一一线希望。

But the rumours had gotten stronger with more certainty to the point that some had stated them as facts. Sae was not in their class, unfortunately, but he did have to deal with Reo at times to build a decent relationship with the Mikage family for the future. It was a biweekly meeting with him and some other nobles that were known as the ‘Pillars of the Future’, dubbed by lesser nobles in the school. It contained Reo Mikage, the young heir of the Mikage dukedom; Tabito Karasu, the grandson to the king’s aide; and Kenyu Yukimiya, the son of Marquess Yukimiya who was their most prominent diplomat in Orentia.
但谣言愈演愈烈,越发确定,以至于有些人将其视为事实。Sae 不在他们的班级,不幸的是,但他有时不得不与 Reo 打交道,以便在未来与御影家族建立良好的关系。这是他与一些其他贵族的每两周一次的会议,这些贵族被称为‘未来的支柱’,由学校里的次等贵族们冠名。其中包括御影公爵的年轻继承人 Reo Mikage;国王助手之孙 Tabito Karasu;以及奥伦提亚最杰出的外交官 Yukimiya 侯爵之子 Kenyu Yukimiya。

“Reo, you’re in Rin’s class, right?” Tabito had asked with a knowing glance towards Sae. Even though Sae didn’t see him that much when they were younger since he lived further away from the capital, he seemed to have his grandfather’s aptitude and eyes for picking up subtleties. “There are some rumours going around with him and Lady Isagi.”
“Reo,你在 Rin 的班级里,对吧?”Tabito 问道,目光带着深意看向 Sae。尽管 Sae 小时候因为住得离首都较远,没怎么见过他,但他似乎继承了祖父的洞察力和敏锐的观察力。“关于他和 Isagi 小姐的传闻不少。”

“Oh, yeah.” Reo nodded before taking a sip of his tea. He glanced over at Sae from the corner of his eyes before looking back to the others. “There are always rumours about them though.”
““哦,没错。”玲点了点头,喝了一口茶。他斜眼瞥了一眼Sae,然后又看向其他人。“不过关于他们的传闻总是不少。””

“More so than usual.” Tabito pointed out, leaning his cheek against his palm. He gave a smirk. “There are people saying that they might get engaged. Did the king mention anything about that, Your Highness?”
““比平时更多。”田人指出,将脸颊靠在手掌上。他露出一丝坏笑。“有人说他们可能要订婚了。国王陛下有提到过这事吗,殿下?””

“No, and grandfather wouldn’t let that happen so easily.” Sae retorted, unable to hide the annoyance in his tone. “There are strict requirements to become a royal’s fianc é e. As of now, despite how close Rin and Ichika are, she does not meet the requirements.”
““没有,而且祖父不会这么轻易让这种事发生。”Sae反驳道,语气中的不悦难以掩饰。“成为王室成员的未婚妻有严格的要求。目前,尽管Rin和Ichika关系亲密,但她并不符合这些要求。””

It wasn’t necessarily true though. Ichika’s aunt knew how to act in society and it showed with her teachings; Ichika was able to curtsy and smile politely in front of those she didn’t know. In those scenarios, she had a strong mental fortitude and never let anything bother her. She was also friendly and although Rin often prevented her from making friends (Sae wouldn’t admit that he was a problem as well. He was a fair prince), she could get along with her classmates enough and not elicit any ill will (any ill will was because of Rin).
但这并不完全准确。Ichika的阿姨深谙社交之道,她的教导显而易见;Ichika能够在不认识的人面前优雅地行屈膝礼并礼貌微笑。在这些场合,她展现出强大的心理素质,从不让任何事情困扰自己。她也很友善,尽管Rin常常阻止她交朋友(Sae不会承认他也是个问题。他是个公正的王子),她仍能与同学们相处融洽,不招致任何恶意(任何恶意都是因为Rin)。

“But Prince Rin hasn’t been assigned a fianc é e yet.” Kenyu replied with a polite smile. “Thus, the rumours circulating are as strong as ever.”
“但王子Rin尚未被指婚。”Kenyu 礼貌地微笑着回答。“因此,流言依旧甚嚣尘上。”

“Rumours are rumours and they are utterly false.” Sae dismissed with a shrug. “No need to dwell on it.”
“流言终究只是流言,完全不实。”Sae耸耸肩,不以为意。“无需深究。”

“This is your brother, Your Highness.” Tabito replied with a raised eyebrow. “It’ll affect the image of the royal family.”
“这是您的弟弟,殿下。”田人挑眉回应,“这会影响皇室的形象。”

“As if Rin’s temper tantrums never did.”
“好像Rin的脾气发作从未有过似的。”

“But he’s matured recently, hasn’t he?” Kenyu pointed out. “People have always said that it’s due to Lady Isagi that he is much calmer.”
“但他最近不是成熟了吗?”健友指出,“人们一直说,多亏了Isagi小姐,他才变得平静许多。”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Reo said with a nod. “Any time His Highness would get into a fight, Lady Isagi would be the one to step in and scold him. He would look like a kicked puppy afterwards.”
““是啊,确实如此。”玲央点头说道,“每次殿下打架,Isagi小姐都会站出来训斥他。之后他看起来就像是被踢了一脚的小狗。””

“She has always said that we are more like brothers to her.” Sae said, hiding the bitterness of his tone. He learned to accept that over the years. It couldn’t be helped after all, Sae couldn’t do anything, especially since he was engaged to Ambrosia. “So she freely scolds him.”
““她一直说我们对她来说更像兄弟。”Sae说道,语气中隐藏着苦涩。多年来,他学会了接受这一点。毕竟,Sae也无能为力,尤其是他已经与安布罗西亚订婚了。“所以她可以随意训斥他。””

“Well, recently, since His Highness hasn’t been acting up, it seems like Lady Isagi’s feelings towards him have changed.” Reo explained, making Sae snap his neck to look over. Tabito grinned and even Kenyu looked intrigued. Reo smiled, basking in the attention. “They’ve been blushing around each other more recently so maybe those rumours aren’t just rumours anymore.”
““嗯,最近,由于殿下没有再惹事,看来Isagi小姐对他的感觉有所改变。”玲央解释道,这让Sae猛地转过头来。田边笑了,连健也显得很感兴趣。玲央微笑着,享受着大家的关注。“他们最近经常脸红,也许那些传闻不再是空穴来风了。””

“That can’t be.” Sae snapped quickly. He bit the inside of his mouth. “Ichika would never.”
““那不可能。” Sae 迅速反驳道。他咬了咬内唇。“Ichika 绝不会那样。””

“There were also some guys who saw His Highness give her a kiss.” Reo continued, his smile becoming mischievous. “If that doesn’t solidify the rumours, I don’t know what does.”
““还有人看到殿下亲了她。” 雷欧继续说道,笑容变得有些狡黠。“如果这还不能证实谣言,那我就不知道什么能了。””

So now, he was here, with his brother, wanting to confront him of these damn rumours but couldn’t find the words to ask. Like he said, rumours were rumours and one shouldn’t dwell on them but here Sae was, dwelling on rumours about his brother and Ichika in a…relationship!
“所以现在,他在这里,和哥哥在一起,想要质问他这些该死的谣言,却找不到合适的词来问。就像他说的,谣言只是谣言,不应该沉溺其中,但 Sae 现在却沉溺于关于他哥哥和 Ichika 的……关系的谣言中!”

And Rin had to get married to a high ranking noble eventually. With his volatile temper, if this rumour ended up being true, he would stubbornly refuse to part from Ichika, thus making any potential engagements more difficult than it already was.
而Rin最终不得不与一位高阶贵族成婚。以他那易怒的脾气,若这传闻成真,他定会固执地不愿与Ichika分离,从而使得任何潜在的婚约变得更加棘手。

It was for Rin’s sake, Sae told himself.
这是为了Rin,Sae告诉自己。

“Rin.” He began. He could see Rin’s ears perk at his voice but he didn’t look at him. “What are these rumours I’m hearing about you and Ichika?”
“Rin.” 他开口道。他能看到Rin的耳朵因他的声音而竖起,但对方并未看向他。“我听到的关于你和Ichika的那些传闻是怎么回事?”

“What do you mean?” Rin asked, pretending to be dumb. Sae could see right through him though.
“你什么意思?”Rin装傻问道。Sae一眼就看穿了他。

“Don’t try to lie to me.” Sae said sternly and he could see Rin’s shoulders deflate. “What are these rumours that you’re courting her? Surely, it can’t be true.”
“别想对我撒谎。”Sae严厉地说,他能看到Rin的肩膀耷拉下来。“你追求她的那些传闻是怎么回事?肯定不是真的吧。”

“It is.” “是的。”

Rin looked at him with confusion that Sae mirrored in return. He didn’t expect him to confirm it so easily. Sae blinked.
Rin 困惑地看着他,Sae 也回以同样的表情。他没想到他会这么轻易地承认。Sae 眨了眨眼。

“What?” “什么?”

“Ichika and I are courting each other.” Rin answered, blinking as well. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? I thought I was in trouble.”
“Ichika 和我正在互相追求。”Rin 回答道,同样眨了眨眼。“这就是你想跟我谈的事吗?我还以为我惹上麻烦了呢。”

“Rin.” Sae started, exhaling from his nose. “You’re the prince of this country. Don’t you see that if you court Ichika, it’ll lead to trouble?”
“Rin.” Sae开口道,鼻息微喘。“你是这个国家的王子。难道你看不出,如果你追求Ichika,会引发麻烦吗?”

“If I don’t, there will be trouble from that guy.” Rin said with a huff, turning his face away and his nose up.
““如果我不去,那家伙会找麻烦的。”Rin 哼了一声,扭过头去,鼻子翘得老高。”

“‘That guy’?” Sae could only think of one person that would offend Rin by the mere mention. “Do you mean Prince Michael? What did he do now?”
““‘那家伙’?”Sae 只能想到一个人,仅仅提到他的名字就会惹恼Rin。“你是说Michael王子吗?他又干了什么?””

If this had to do with Prince Michael, Sae had to be the intermediary to settle the problem, which was already a pain to do. Maybe he should send Kenyu to do it so he could practice being a diplomat. It would be a good challenge.
如果这事与王子Michael有关,Sae不得不充当调解人解决问题,这已经够麻烦的了。或许他该派肯尤去处理,让他练习一下当外交官。这将是个不错的挑战。

“He’s trying to get close to Ichika so obviously, we have to keep him away.” Rin replied with a frown.
“他正试图接近Ichika,所以显然,我们得让他远离。”Rin皱着眉头回答。

Sae nodded in agreement instinctively. He was glad that Prince Michael and Ichika weren’t in the same building for their classes. It was during meal times that was the most troublesome as students were free to mingle and Sae made sure to keep an eye on Prince Michael ever since the first time they met.
Sae 下意识地点头表示同意。他很庆幸王子Michael和Ichika不在同一栋楼上课。最麻烦的是用餐时间,学生们可以自由交流,而Sae自从第一次见面后,就一直密切关注着王子Michael。

“So…” Sae suddenly realized, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn’t want to believe his assumptions to be correct but Rin, despite being at the top of his class, was still terribly naive. That childishness of his never went away, even after attending the Academy. “Are you and Ichika courting…to keep Prince Michael away?”
“所以……” Sae 突然意识到,皱起了眉头。他不愿相信自己的猜测是正确的,但 Rin 尽管在班上名列前茅,却依然天真得可怕。那种孩子气从未消失,即便在学院里也是如此。“你和 Ichika 是在……为了远离王子 Michael 而交往吗?”

“Yeah!” Rin nodded affirmatively and Sae almost slapped his hand on his face in exasperation. “He’s causing issues with Ichika so the best way to keep him away is to make sure Ichika isn’t available for him to pursue.
“没错!”Rin 肯定地点头,而 Sae 几乎要无奈地拍自己的脸。“他正给 Ichika 制造麻烦,所以最好的办法就是确保 Ichika 不在他追求的范围内。”

Sae exhaled, tension that he didn’t know he had instantly disappearing. If Prince Michael was truly disturbing Ichika, then the best protection was obviously behind members of the royal family. Although he thought this was an awful plan, he couldn’t fault the reason behind it. However, Rin should’ve at least spoken to him about it.
Sae 松了口气,他未曾察觉的紧张感瞬间消失。如果王子Michael 真的在骚扰Ichika,那么显然,最安全的保护就是依靠皇室成员。尽管他认为这是个糟糕的计划,但他无法质疑其背后的理由。然而,Rin 至少应该事先和他商量一下。

“I will speak to Prince Michael, give him a stern warning about disturbing Ichika.” Sae replied. There was only so much he could control and he was sure Prince Michael did not respond well to Rin’s hot-tempered response. If they spoke more calmly, he was sure it would work out.
“我会和Michael王子谈谈,严肃警告他不要打扰Ichika。”Sae回答道。他能控制的有限,他确信Michael王子对Rin的火爆回应不会有什么好反应。如果他们能更冷静地交谈,他相信事情会解决的。

“I doubt words will even get through to him if he didn’t listen to Ichika or me.” Rin muttered. “Not that I don’t trust you, brother, but that guy is…he’s a piece of work.”
“我怀疑就算Ichika或我说话,他都不会听。”Rin低声咕哝道,“不是我不信任你,兄弟,但那家伙……他真是个难缠的角色。”

Sae looked at Rin deadpanned, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t comment how he himself was also a piece of work.
Sae 面无表情地看着 Rin,咬紧牙关,以免自己说出他本人也是个麻烦的事实。

“Royal members must learn to speak calmly in order to be diplomatic.” Sae explained as he leaned back in his seat. “Even though you are not going to be the king, you too must exercise control, Rin.”
“皇室成员必须学会冷静发言以保持外交风度。”Sae 解释道,同时靠坐在椅背上。“即使你不会成为国王,你也必须学会控制自己,Rin。”

The last sentence had a bit of edge to it, almost sounding like a threat. Sae intended it to be such because he knew that if Ichika wasn’t the one always around him, his attitude would be a lot worse and the rumours surrounding him would not be about his love life.
最后一句话带有些许锋芒,几乎像是一种威胁。Sae 确实是这个意思,因为他知道,如果不是Ichika 一直陪在他身边,他的态度会更加恶劣,关于他的流言也不会只是围绕着他的感情生活。

“I got it, I got it.” Rin said though there was little sincerity in his voice. Sae knew that Rin wouldn’t follow along but hated that Ichika had to be his ‘control’. He really hoped that she would be able to do something about it before they graduate and Rin had to face his royal duties.
““我明白了,我明白了。”Rin说道,尽管他的语气中几乎没有诚意。Sae知道Rin不会跟随,但讨厌Ichika不得不成为他的‘控制者’。他真心希望她能在他们毕业前做些什么,以免Rin不得不面对他的王室职责。”

‘Wait.’ “‘等等。’”

He remembered one more thing that the other Pillars had been talking about.
“他想起其他支柱们还谈论过一件事。”

“Rin.” Sae narrowed his eyes, his fists balling up tightly. “Did you kiss Ichika?”
“Rin.” Sae 眯起眼睛,拳头紧握。“你吻了Ichika吗?”

Instead of dismissing, Rin’s face turned completely red and Sae knew that it wasn’t just a rumour at that point. His eyes were wide, looking at him in horror, before looking down at the floor.
Rin的脸瞬间涨得通红,Sae意识到这绝非空穴来风。他惊恐地瞪大眼睛看着对方,随后低头望向地面。

“W-We have to look convincing, right?!” Rin suddenly exclaimed desperately. “Otherwise he’ll catch on! And it was just one! I-I mean…Ichika has sort of been avoiding looking me in the eye since then so maybe it wasn’t the right move? Brother, what do I do?!”
“我们得看起来像那么回事,对吧?!”Rin突然绝望地喊道,“不然他会起疑的!而且就一次!我是说……Ichika从那以后就一直避免直视我,也许那不是个好主意?哥,我该怎么办?!”

On one hand, it seemed like the kiss was true. Rin, the devil that he is, managed to get a kiss from Ichika?! Sae didn’t think Rin even realized that his feelings were that deep for her. 
一方面,这个吻似乎是真的。Rin,这个恶魔,竟然从Ichika那里得到了一个吻?!Sae没想到Rin对她的感情已经如此深厚。

How irritating. 真烦人。

But at the same time, at least it looked like Ichika didn’t even like the kiss as she was avoiding Rin a little. However, the more she avoided him, the more annoying Rin would get.
但与此同时,至少看起来Ichika似乎并不喜欢那个吻,因为她有点在躲避Rin。然而,她越是躲避他,Rin就越感到恼火。

What a dilemma. 真是左右为难。

“You…” Sae didn’t even know what kind of advice to give him. “Just don’t kiss her again. If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like it.”
“你……”Sae 甚至不知道该给他什么建议。“就别再亲她了。如果她不喜欢,那就是不喜欢。”

“Do you think that runt will notice?”
“你觉得那小家伙会发现吗?”

Calling Prince Michael ‘that runt’ when Rin was shorter than him was comical.
当Rin比他还矮时,称呼王子Michael为‘那小家伙’真是滑稽。

“You’re already protected by rumours and you guys do other things that were convincing before officially ‘courting’ each other.” Sae pointed out with a frown. It’s only because Rin didn’t have a fianc é e that he was so much more free with Ichika. He didn’t have the shackles of an arranged marriage for publicity’s sake.
“你们已经被流言保护了,而且你们在正式‘交往’之前还做了其他令人信服的事情。”Sae皱着眉指出。正是因为Rin没有未婚妻,他才能如此自由地与Ichika相处。他没有为了宣传而安排的婚姻束缚。

“What things?” “什么事?”

Sae blinked. Rin couldn’t possibly be ignorant to how clingy he was to Ichika and how much he gtouched her to even start those rumours in the first place.
Sae 眨了眨眼。Rin 不可能不知道他对Ichika 有多么黏人,以及他有多么频繁地触碰她,以至于这些谣言最初是如何传开的。

But Rin looked completely earnest in his confusion.
但Rin看上去在困惑中显得十分真诚。

He placed a finger and thumb on the bridge of his nose, exhaling.
他用手指和拇指捏住鼻梁,呼出一口气。

This was going to be a long conversation.
这将是一场漫长的对话。


Ichika felt guilty. For the past week, he had been having trouble looking at Rin directly because every time he did, because he was just slightly (slightly) shorter, he would see his lips first. The same lips that placed a kiss on his forehead, becoming something Ichika could not get out of his mind, feeling completely embarrassed at the action.
Ichika感到内疚。过去一周里,他一直难以直视Rin,因为每次他这么做时,由于自己略微(略微)矮一点,总是先看到对方的嘴唇。正是那双曾在他额头上留下一吻的唇,成了Ichika无法摆脱的记忆,让他对这一举动感到无比尴尬。

It was a test. After all, they weren’t around a lot of people when it happened, but they had to practice to make it look convincing to spread the rumours even further, right? Make it look like that they’re actually courting each other.
这是一场考验。毕竟,事情发生时他们周围并没有很多人,但他们必须练习,让这一切看起来更可信,以便更广泛地传播谣言,对吧?让这一切看起来像是他们真的在互相追求。

Ichika stopped in the middle of the hall, placing his forehead on it, frozen.
Ichika 在走廊中间停下,额头抵着墙壁,僵住了。

Even so, he felt like his chest was going to burst in embarrassment.
即便如此,他仍感到胸口因尴尬而几欲炸裂。

Ichika reached up and slapped his face with his hands, shocking the students that walked past him. He ignored them, focusing on what he had to do.
Ichika 抬起手,狠狠地扇了自己一巴掌,吓得路过的学生们目瞪口呆。他无视他们的目光,专注于自己必须完成的事情。

It was just Rin. Rin. He had known him since he was practically a baby. He had grown up with him and watched him at his worst; a snot nosed brat with a horrible temper. He had to be his retainer when others couldn’t. And he knew that Rin was deadly if things went wrong! People would die! Ichika would die!
这只是Rin。Rin。他从他还是个婴儿时就认识他了。他们一起长大,他见过他最糟糕的样子;一个脾气暴躁的鼻涕虫。当别人无法胜任时,他不得不成为他的侍从。他知道,如果事情出了差错,Rin是致命的!人们会死去!Ichika会死去!

But he could handle him now. This was a piece of cake compared to what his potential future could be.
但他现在能应付他了。与可能的未来相比,这简直是小菜一碟。

Ichika arrived at the banquet hall by himself for once, scanning the area. He had waited for Rin on the ground floor of the dormitory like usual but he never came. Unable to wait any longer, he went for breakfast, worried that he might be sick and would need to request for someone to check on him.
Ichika 这次独自一人来到了宴会厅,环顾四周。他像往常一样在宿舍一楼等Rin,但对方始终没有出现。等不及了,他只好先去吃早餐,担心对方可能生病了,需要找人去看看他。

He tried to find Sae in the crowd but instead, found Rin immediately. He was already sitting with Meguru, eating his breakfast.
他试图在人群中找到Sae,却立刻发现了Rin。对方已经和 Meguru 坐在一起,吃着早餐。

It was strange. Rin was always attached to him. That was probably the entire reason he studied so hard to be in the same school year as him yet he broke their routine and didn’t meet with him first thing in the morning?
真奇怪。Rin总是黏着他。或许这就是他拼命学习,只为与他同届的原因,然而今天他却打破了惯例,没有在清晨第一时间去找他?

What was going on?
发生了什么?

Ichika walked over to Rin, not getting breakfast first. If it was something out of character, there must be something wrong. Ichika was willing to chalk it up to sickness but Rin should be in bed then. Did something happen to make him wake up earlier than usual?
Ichika 走向 Rin,没有先去吃早餐。如果这显得有些反常,那一定是出了什么问题。Ichika 愿意归咎于生病,但 Rin 那时应该在床上。是什么事让他比平时醒得更早呢?

“Rin,” Ichika began as he approached him. “What happen—”
“Rin,” Ichika 走近他时开口道,“发生了什么——”

Rin’s chair screeched against the floor loudly as he stood up, causing everyone around him to turn to him. Neither of them said anything; Ichika was too shocked to.
Rin 站起身时,椅子在地板上发出刺耳的摩擦声,周围的人都转头看向他。两人都没有说话;Ichika 太过震惊,说不出话来。

Rin then turned away from him, leaving his tray of food, still half-uneaten, on the table.
Rin 然后转身离开了他,留下那盘食物,还剩一半未动,孤零零地摆在桌上。

“I’m done eating, bye.”
“我吃完了,再见。”

Before Ichika got a chance to say anything, Rin was off, practically running out of the banquet hall. There was silence around Ichika as everyone turned to look at him, completely aware of the relationship that they had. Whispers began circulating but Ichika was too frazzled to make sense of them.
在Ichika有机会开口之前,Rin已经匆匆离去,几乎是跑出了宴会厅。周围一片寂静,所有人都转向Ichika,完全清楚他们之间的关系。低语开始在人群中传播,但Ichika心烦意乱,无法理解其中的含义。

What just happened?! 刚刚发生了什么?!

Notes: 注释:

I don't miss puberty.
我不怀念青春期。