Let's Do Laundry Together (Goodbye Cohost)
让我们一起洗衣服 （Goodbye Cohost）
My first time watching Everything, Everywhere, All At Once (EEAAO) was at a friend's house with about ten other Asian immigrants. There's a scene where the male lead, Waymond Wang (Ke Huy Quan), was putting googly eyes all over the lanterns and doing a sneaky shush at the camera before running away.
我第一次看 Everything， Everywhere， All At Once （EEAAO） 是在朋友家和大约十个其他亚洲移民一起。有一幕，男主角 Waymond Wang（Ke Huy Quan 饰）在逃跑之前用咕噜咕噜的眼睛盯着灯笼，对着镜头偷偷地嘘声。
"Oh, that's [deadname]," said someone. Laughter echoed in the living room.
“哦，那是 [deadname]，”有人说。笑声在客厅里回荡。
Eh? That's me? 啊？是我？
I'll admit, when my brain was mostly still concentrated on the movie, pre-transition, still stuck in my "I have to be a man" phase, I wondered if that was a snide comment. It's very easy to read it that way because Waymond's character is the opposite of the stereotypical male lead. He is presented as effeminate, weak, and his voice is high-pitched and lacks a full range. As a knee-jerk gut reaction, we focus too much on appearances.
我承认，当我的大脑大部分仍然集中在电影上时，在转型之前，仍然停留在我“我必须成为一个男人”的阶段，我想知道这是否是一个冷嘲热讽的评论。这样读很容易，因为 Waymond 的角色与刻板印象中的男主角相反。他表现得柔弱、虚弱，声音高亢，音域不完整。作为一种下意识的直觉反应，我们过于关注外表。
Still, I had clocked his character archetype early on in the movie. I loved him so, because I've seen him before: a 'traveling angel'.
尽管如此，我在电影的早期就已经确定了他的角色原型。我非常爱他，因为我以前见过他：一个“旅行的天使”。
As a child, my favourite movie was Mary Poppins. She was the quintessential 'traveling angel' who had no character arc of her own, but solved everyone's problems wherever she went. She made the world better just by being herself.
小时候，我最喜欢的电影是《欢乐满人间》。她是典型的“旅行天使”，没有自己的性格弧线，但无论她走到哪里，都能解决每个人的问题。她通过做自己让世界变得更好。
I wanted to be her so badly. I wanted to fix everything around me. I wanted to make people smile.
我非常想成为她。我想修复我周围的一切。我想让人们微笑。
Life quickly dissuaded me of such ideas, but I never stopped loving these 'traveling angel' stories. Mrs Harris Goes to Paris. Paddington Bear (but Paddington mostly lucking his way into solving issues rather than achieving them on purpose took away some of the intensity). Still, at this point in life, I stopped thinking that anyone could do anything. Mary Poppins would never work in real life, because magic didn't exist. And when Paddington 2 came out, I watched and adored it too. But I had truly stopped believing.
生活很快就劝阻了我这种想法，但我从未停止过喜欢这些“旅行天使”的故事。哈里斯夫人去了巴黎。帕丁顿熊（但帕丁顿熊主要是运气好地解决了问题，而不是故意实现问题，这带走了一些强度）。尽管如此，在人生的这个阶段，我不再认为任何人都可以做任何事情。玛丽·波平斯在现实生活中永远不会起作用，因为魔法不存在。当《帕丁顿熊 2》上映时，我也观看并崇拜它。但我真的不再相信了。
They were all just fantasies to me now, no different than sword and sorcery. Angels were never real. My dream of being Mary Poppins was nothing but childish, teenage whimsy. God, how stupid I was. Whatever thoughts I pulled from the well must've been unrefined crude. Even cleaned up through education and introspection, my drive to do good was yet run on diesel, sputtering as I went. I was ashamed of my efforts.
他们现在对我来说都只是幻想，与剑和巫术没有什么不同。天使从来都不是真实的。我成为 Mary Poppins 的梦想只不过是幼稚的、少年时期的奇思妙想。天哪，我真是太愚蠢了。无论我从井里提取出什么想法，都一定是未经提炼的粗略。即使通过教育和反省来清理，我做好事的动力仍然依靠柴油运行，在我前进的过程中溅射。我为自己的努力感到羞愧。
And yet, permit me a tangent.
然而，请允许我切题。
I believe we should cultivate that "childish, teenage whimsy." I think there's nothing more important than letting a kid feel like they want to change the world for the better and believing that they can do it. That initial burst of hope, that need to do good. Cynicism hurts too much, and that hammer falls laden with spikes. I do not want to see anymore loved ones crushed against that uneven anvil. I cannot stand others being dragged and caught in the unpaved holes of our shoddy, chip seal roads.
我认为我们应该培养那种 “幼稚的、青少年的奇思妙想”。我认为没有什么比让孩子觉得他们想让世界变得更好并相信他们能做到更重要的了。最初的希望迸发，需要做好事。愤世嫉俗太伤人了，那把锤子落下时满是尖刺。我不想再看到亲人被压在那不平坦的铁砧上。我无法忍受其他人被拖拽和困在我们粗制滥造的碎石路的未铺砌的坑中。
I would like to see people dream again.
我希望看到人们再次梦想。
These days, I no longer think one person can change the world. That seems to be a remnant of the Hollywood Hero. The Ubermensch. The next person to mention Joseph Campbell's Hero with a Thousand Faces gets a slap on the wrist. These stories would tell us that a single person defeating your workplace boss by shanking them between the ribs will solve everything. Simply elect a better leader, lmao. But workplaces are only served by unions and having everyone toe a line. Life is about community and people and living in this world, not trying to skirt rules and look out for number one. Tech bros and right-wing nuts are always talking about 'surpassing limitations' and 'ignoring the rules'. They say, 'stop looking at this like a normal person would'. But life doesn't work that way. Everything you do must be put through the perspective of how it relates to other people, because you're human.
如今，我不再认为一个人可以改变世界。这似乎是好莱坞英雄的残余。The Ubermensch.下一个提到约瑟夫·坎贝尔 （Joseph Campbell） 的《千面英雄》（Hero with a Thousand Faces） 的人会受到一记耳光。这些故事会告诉我们，一个人通过用肋骨之间的蹭子打败你的工作场所老板就可以解决一切问题。只需选出一位更好的领导者 lmao。但工作场所只有工会才能服务，并让每个人都遵守一致。生活是关于社区和人的，以及生活在这个世界上，而不是试图规避规则并寻找第一名。科技兄弟和右翼疯子总是在谈论“超越限制”和“无视规则”。他们说，'别再像正常人那样看这个了'。但生活并非如此。你所做的一切都必须从它与其他人的关系的角度来看待，因为你是人。
You're human. 你是人。
That is not a curse. Empathy is the most beautiful thing I can conceive of, because this world is so big and scary and cruel. Everything, Everywhere, All At Once has an answer to this. I'm not lying when I say that I saw Waymond's big flashing MORAL OF THE STORY dialogue coming, because that was exactly how I had already chosen to live my life.
那不是诅咒。同理心是我能想到的最美丽的东西，因为这个世界是如此之大、如此可怕和残酷。Everything， Everywhere， All At Once 对此有答案。当我说我看到 Waymond 那场大闪闪发光的 MORAL OF THE STORY 对话即将到来时，我并没有撒谎，因为那正是我已经选择过我的生活的方式。
Because I had already screamed my heart out more than once.
因为我已经不止一次地喊出了我的心声。
And it hurts. 这很痛苦。
I'm not brave. I'm truly not. I'm so scared of everything in this world. But I choose to face life with joy and silliness and a great deal of stupid jokes because I have to permit myself these things. I would explode otherwise.
我不勇敢。我真的不是。我害怕这个世界上的一切。但我选择以快乐、愚蠢和大量愚蠢的笑话来面对生活，因为我必须允许自己做这些事情。否则我会爆炸。
I choose to do these things because it's proven, time and time again, that I find love at the end of this road. And I have to love. There is no greater need inside me.
我选择做这些事情，是因为一次又一次地证明，我在这条路的尽头找到了爱。我必须爱。我内心没有比这更大的需要了。
In the beginning of the EEAAO, the characters are running a laundromat. This premise is set up as a humiliation. Cleaning up other people's messes, dealing with rude people in customer service. We're all familiar with this.
在 EEAAO 的开头，角色们正在经营一家自助洗衣店。这个前提被设定为一种羞辱。收拾别人的烂摊子，在客户服务中与粗鲁的人打交道。我们都熟悉这一点。
But it's not. Laundry is necessary. It is a kindness in itself. To take something that must be shed and to change it anew is a beautiful blessing. And at the end of the movie, does our heart not break for the rich, succcesful, business suit Waymond? Despite everything, he never got what he truly wanted.
但事实并非如此。洗衣是必要的。这本身就是一种善意。拿走必须脱落的东西并重新改变它是一个美丽的祝福。在电影的结尾，我们难道不为富有、成功、西装革履的韦蒙德而心碎吗？尽管如此，他从未得到他真正想要的东西。
Laundry. Taxes. And the love of his life. All this he would have preferred.
洗衣店。税。还有他一生的挚爱。这一切他本来是宁愿的。
So I am asking you to be kind to yourself. This is the antidote to cynicism. A curative to purge the nihilism accumulating in your liver.
所以我请求你善待自己。这是对犬儒主义的解药。一种清除肝脏中积累的虚无主义的治疗方法。
You have to be kind and empathetic and you have to love. God, you have to love something. Be a pervert, if you have to, I certainly am. You have to find joy no matter how dire the circumstances because otherwise this world will break you. It is such a beautiful feeling to love and be loved, and there is no way to achieve that through force, no matter how many people delude themselves otherwise.
你必须善良和善解人意，你必须去爱。上帝啊，你得爱点什么。做个吧，如果你必须的话，我当然是。无论情况多么糟糕，你都必须找到快乐，否则这个世界会让你崩溃。爱与被爱是一种多么美好的感觉，无论有多少人自欺欺人，都无法通过武力来实现这一点。
If you want true, genuine love, then you have to be kind. It's stupid how far I get in life just by doing that. I am always surprised that people like me when it feels like I have given them only what is deserved: a kindness that should've been here all along.
如果你想要真挚的爱，那么你就得善良。仅仅这样做，我在生活中就能走多远，这真是愚蠢。我总是很惊讶像我这样的人，当感觉我只给了他们应得的：一种本应一直存在的善意。
So, let's do laundry together. Just one step at a time. When my depression got too much, when the innate wrongness at my body was screaming at me before I realized I was trans, I'd tell myself to just do a batch of laundry. Every bit counts. A warm shower can save your life. A nice, piping hot meal can too. Heh. I'm gonna nuke it extra in the microwave. It might explode. That's okay too. It'll be funny if that actually happens.
那么，让我们一起洗衣服吧。一次只需一步。当我的抑郁变得太严重时，当我意识到自己是跨性别者之前，我身体与生俱来的错误对我尖叫时，我会告诉自己去洗衣服。每一点都很重要。温水淋浴可以挽救您的生命。一顿美味的热饭也可以。嘿。我要在微波炉里再炸一核。它可能会爆炸。那也没关系。如果这真的发生了，那就太有趣了。
You know...most of Cohost thinks of me as that 'weird coffee girl'. I'm not a big fan of that moniker, because I think it rather misses me as a character. It's actually why I stopped writing cafe reviews. But please. If I were to suddenly disappear or go away, I hope you'd remember me differently:
你知道的。。。大多数 Cohost 都认为我是那个“奇怪的咖啡女孩”。我不是这个绰号的忠实粉丝，因为我觉得它很想念我这个角色。这实际上是我停止写咖啡馆评论的原因。但是拜托了。如果我突然消失或消失，我希望你会以不同的方式记住我：
That throughout my short time here, I was smiling and full of love. I promise that I had enough for all of you and I always will.
在我在这里的短暂时间里，我一直面带微笑，充满了爱。我保证我已经为你们所有人准备好了，我永远都会。
All my best, no matter where you go.
无论你走到哪里，我都祝你一切顺利。
Love, 爱
Maddie 曼蒂